The Chronicles of the Dragonborn's Servant: Lydia
by Cearbhail
Summary: "Sigh" I am sworn to carry your burdens...
1. Ch 1: Introductions

**Cearbhail:**_ My new story. Bare with me, this story has no real plot or any real purpose. I'm sure this story will write itself in time. If you're common with Anime, think of Lucky Star and Toradora. This is a slice of life, humorous, and romantic. there will be plenty of funny characters along the way. I hope you enjoy and please review. I wish to hear your thoughts and ideas for this story._

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Chapter 1: Introductions

_Dear journal,_

_Ok, so today is the day. I have to look strong, look beautiful, and keep a stoic face. Today, I am to meet my Thane. The Nord who saved Whiterun from the Dragon. It is said that he is Dragonborn…so I have to keep my cool. I heard he killed the Dragon with little effort. Why would he need a woman like me to follow him around? I guess I should be honored, but I can't help but feel a little…pressured to be the servant and housemate to the great Dragonborn man. From what I've heard of him, his face was carved from the Gods. I can only hope that I appear un-wanting of any offer he gives me. I have to bring my family honor, yes, but…am I ready for anything like that?_

_I may be 24, but even though that makes me too old to be married by society's standards, which is why I was chosen for this role, I can't help but feel that this may…become something. I know, I know…I don't even know the guy yet and he'll probably be this strong, buff, handsome, humble, maybe a little snobbish now that he found out he's this world's savor but…come on! What could he possibly see in a tiny woman like me? I only have one answer: I have to be gruff, strong-looking, and more importantly, I have to be completely rude to anything he says. Well, here we go!_

_..._

I exhaled as I reached for the doorknob. I was warned ahead of time that I had to do this. I had to officially present myself to my Thane. I turned away from the doorknob and looked over at the mirror again. I looked at my full-body image in the mirror. Ok, time to do my checklist again. Armor, check. I could not present myself without completely shiny yet worn-in armor. He wouldn't take new armor seriously, but he would also see dinged and scarred armor or even dirty armor as a lack of discipline for my gear. I ran my fingers through my hair, loving the black color that I had managed to maintain the past few years. I was sure I could use this hair to my advantage if I decided to woo him. My eyes were as sharp as they could be too. I would pierce into his soul.

As I reached for the doorknob again, I paused. What if…what if he didn't like me? What if I wasn't good enough for him to accept me as his Housecarl? I mean, my uncle told me that I should be honored that he chose me for this role…that and that if I could get him to like me enough that he might grow fond of me, but I just didn't know if I was good enough. My pale skin might be enough for him to not be attracted to me. After all, we're Nords. We live outside, we fight outside, we are active and that activity only exists outside. My pale skin looks like I spend all my time inside, doing nothing. That image that could easily sink into his mind could be detrimental to him accepting me.

I cleared my head as I twisted the doorknob. I had to do this. I had to face him. He was like an enemy that I had to conquer. That was how I had to face this. I had to face this with my sword arm grasping his soul like it was mine and dominating it…but I had to be his servant so…I guess I needed to be a little docile and accepting of his orders? Jeez, how was I supposed to appear dedicated, strong, flexible, and yet…commendable?

I could only sigh and close my eyes as I opened the door and left my room. This castle had been my home for the past months, preparing me to be a guard for this town, but now I guess that training was going to keeping the great Dragonborn alive instead.

I walked across the wooden floors, letting my feet stomp lightly on the floor; showing a presence to my step and yet enough subtly that I could be light on my feet in case it was needed. I gently flowed with speed and authority into the dining area, looking at my little cousin and my uncle as they sat down to their plates of meat. Yes, my uncle was Jarl Balgruuf. I am a Battle-Born.

My eyes drifted from Uncle Balgruuf and over to the Nord who patiently waited in his seat. He glanced up at me and nodded a welcome. I felt my heart come to a stop. His face did look like it was chiseled from the stone of the Gods..

My uncle nodded to me. "Lydia, this is…"

I bowed my head. "Welcome to Dragonsreach, Dragonborn. I am your new Housecarl, your servant, and your house keeper." I dared to look up at him, not only seeing him look confused, but a little shaken by my quick and high pitched introduction. I admit; I was so nervous that my voice cracked on my introduction. Great…I think I just ruined any first impression I could have given to him.

Both the Dragonborn and my uncle shared eyes for a second and then they both burst out laughing. Uncle looked over at the Dragonborn and said, "Lydia…this isn't the Dragonborn. This is your old childhood friend, Hadvar. He's here to discuss getting our town ready for the Stormcloaks that are getting ready to breathe down our doorway."

I only blushed, which showed on my completely pale face. Hadvar smiled back at me and laughed as he saw my face. "Hello, Lydia. It's been a while. I almost didn't recognize you."

I only nodded to him, finally being able to relax a bit. "Yeah, you sure have changed too. If I had not been so nervous about meeting the Dragonborn, I might have noticed that it was you sitting there."

"Excuse me." A voice seemed to boom from behind me.

I turned around and saw a skinny Nord standing behind me. He looked like he had never lifted a weight in his life. I moved aside and said, "Welcome to Dragonsreach. Do you need to talk to the Jarl or something?" I poked him in the arm and said, "Man, you sure look depleted. Do you require some meat for those skinny things you call arms?"

My uncle face-palmed and said, "Lydia…that is the Dragonborn."

I turned back to the Dragonborn, almost shocked. I held my face as impassive as I could but my heart had practically stopped. I bowed to him and said, "Honored Thane, my name is Lydia and I have been selected to be your Housecarl. If you wish to be presented with a test of my skill and knowledge of any sort, I am prepared to show you…"

He shrugged and walked past me. "Nah. You're fine, just relax." He paused by the table and said, "But that meat does sound good now that you mention it. Think I'll have a piece, if that's ok with you, Jarl Balgruuf."

Balgruuf only nodded. "This feast is for you, Dragonborn. Please help yourself."

I only stood there. All that preparation I did…for months… was just wasted. I did not get to show him how lucky he was to have me as his Housecarl. It seemed like he didn't even care in the slightest. I almost did not want to take that sitting down. No Nord would ever take that sitting down. Struggling, I clenched my fist and stood my ground. I looked over at my uncle, who had noticed my clenched fist. He shook his head very discreetly at me; telling me to keep calm and just accept it as it was. I forced my fist to unclench. He was right, I was accepted. This was the only thing that mattered.

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_**Cearbhail: **This is just the beginning. I hope to enjoy this story, making a good parody of what their life is like._


	2. Ch 2: My Journal

**Cearbhail:**_ Thought I'd post the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think._

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_Dear Journal,_

_I regret to inform you that…I am in the company of a shrimpy laidback farmboy from not Skyrim. He grew up in Cyrodiil. That is why he has no upper body strength. Seriously, my arms are twice as thick as his. He is not a true Nord, only Nord by birth. Still… he is the Dragonborn, and the Thane of Whiterun. So, what does that say about us? We suck…. Well, I don't suck. I've spent a few days with him already and I can tell that without me to advise him on stuff he continues to forget…like his quests…I swear we'd just walk around in circles, getting attacked by random wolves, thieves, assassins, Khajiit Caravans, and that annoying M'aiq. I don't trust that guy. Do you know how many prisoners we've attempted to free the past three days? 34. How many escaped with the weapons we handed them… 2. Back to M'aiq. He's been around us for a day now and all he does is lie. Lie, lie, lie! Everything he says is a lie. I want to kill him._

_Crap…he's at it again. Got to go._

_…_

"This one knows that the female Nord loves the Dragonborn."

I sighed as I closed my journal and looked over at M'aiq again. That smile seemed to cover all sides of his face. I knew it was a fake smile, just as fake as his name. I mean, how could you take this Khajiit seriously? His very name is M'aiq…THE LIAR. What part of that name makes his a trustworthy person to follow the Dragonborn around? I had to watch him carefully, because he was getting too close to my master.

M'aiq smiled even deeper and his eyes betrayed his new enjoyment…bothering me.

"M'aiq sees the way she looks at the Dragonborn, so deep are her thoughts. She is a very smart Nord, very bright. M'aiq thinks she has a chance of getting the Dragonborn." He said with a wink as he looked back over at me.

It was at this time that I unsheathed my steel longsword, pulled out my sharpening stone, and began sharpening my sword while glaring at him. I think he got my message, but he only turned back to the Dragonborn and nudged him to look at me. Regrettably, he actually turned and looked as I was sharpening my sword on my lap.

"Does the Dragonborn see the way she sharpens her sword…it is a sexual innuendo to wanting to sharpen the Dragonborn's sword." He hissed with laughter.

My face must have flushed because my master smirked and looked back at M'aiq. He only nudged him back. "Please, I don't think that she'd be interested in a small farmboy like me." He looked over at me and smiled thickly. It was one of those smiles that could be meant in a condescending meaning, a fake smile as such. It was also a smile that could be sincere. It only grew worse as my master winked at me and turned back to M'aiq to continue their conversation.

I only rolled my eyes in annoyance and went back to sharpening my sword. Suddenly, my invisible back hair stood on end as I noticed that he used the word 'farmboy'. I never addressed him as that…instead writing it in my journal when I refer to his upbringing. So…when my sharpening arm stopped moving, my entire body froze. Then, I glanced down at my journal, then up at the Thane, and back down to my journal. He noticed my freeze and turned to look at me.

I dropped my sword, flicked my hair in a casual manner, and took a deep breath as I calmly reached for my journal. I had to keep my poise at all times. This party had enough crazy as it was, and I would not add to it. So, when I grabbed my journal, I opened it up and glanced through it.

I noticed immediately upon inspection that there were drool makes on the pages…and something orange. I reached down and pinched it in my fingernails. I lifted it up and brought it up to my face. As I looked closely, I could tell it was an orange fur. Orange…

Fur…

In my journal?...

….

He is so dead!

I slammed my journal shut and grabbed my freshly sharpened sword. I stood up and quickly but elegantly marched up to M'aiq, who continued to stare at me with his twisted smile. Shabla Khajiit. I was going to skin him and donate his fur to the Wig Exchange.

As I came up to M'aiq, my sword pointing at his throat, he only chuckled as he placed small mug of Mead down. "So…is she upset with M'aiq?"

I tapped the sword on his chin and brought it up. M'aiq rose with the blade, his face in a slight contortion of pain and anticipation. He looked over at the Thane and said, "Why does the Dragonborn not stop his servant from hurting poor M'aiq?"

He only shrugged. "You are a kinda a jerk. But seriously…Lydia…sword, down." He gestured by sticking his finger out to my blade and pushing gently against the tip.

I couldn't fight him. I mean…I could but it would mean drawing his blood. That was a no-no for any housecarl. So, instead of attacking M'aiq the old-fashioned way, I would do this…my sister's way.

"He looked through my journal!" I said as I pointed at M'aiq's throat.

My Thane only laughed. "Is that so?"

I looked over at my Thane and said, "Don't act innocent. You did too."

He only shrugged. "Well…you don't state your true feelings so I have to learn about you by other means. I must say, a face chiseled by the Gods? I sure hope so."

I felt my face turn a bright crimson, and it was confirmed when both M'aiq and my Thane smirked in response. It was a moment when I could have died on the spot but I continued to hold a neutral face as they started laughing at me.

"Does he see the look of the woman's face? She looks like a Redguard who's stood outside for too long." M'aiq started with a cackling laugh.

I sighed and knocked M'aiq on top of his head with the handle of my longsword. He toppled over and hit the ground with a sickening response.

I looked over at my Thane, who only looked down at M'aiq with slight amusement and partial pity. He looked over at me and said, "Why?"

I crossed my arms. "Sir, I have only one thing. I don't like people reading my journal."

He stuck his hands out defensively. "Ok, I get it. I'll leave your crushing thoughts to yourself."

I sighed and turned my attention to the unconscious M'aiq. "Sir, he will be out for at least three more hours and if the storm clouds gathering above us are any indication of the current weather, it is going to rain soon. I recommend we leave M'aiq behind and continue our way to Riften. Or at least find an inn for the night."

He smiled. "An inn, huh? Feel like sharing a bed?" He said with a series of winks and a playful look that I could only begin to gag at.

I managed to impartially sigh and look away. I still wanted him because he was the Dragonborn and this legendary figure, but whenever I looked at him I saw this skinny man who I could lift up with one arm. The conflict of my emotions was a battle that could easily out-trump the war between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials.

Somehow, I managed to not blush at his comment. I looked away and said, "Sir, we should begin moving."

He only chuckled. "Shouldn't we wake M'aiq up?"

I looked down at M'aiq and gently kicked his boot. "Hey…wake up….we're  
leaving without you…" I said deadpanned, uninterested. I shrugged and looked back over at my Thane. "I tried. Let him get soaked in the rain. He deserves it."

I started to walk away but my Thane only stood there. He finally looked over at me and said the most annoying words that I would ever hear in my life…and the words that I would continually hear for the rest of my life. "Lydia…I'm the Thane, you're the Housecarl. Pick up M'aiq's body, because we're not leaving him out to get struck by lightning."

I sighed as I looked down at M'aiq's body. It looked heavy and all that fur smelled nasty. Khajiits never bathed as far as I knew, and if they did it was by licking themselves with their disgusting disease-ridden tongues. I glared at my Thane, who stood there with a strong stance, glaring daggers into my soul. He had this presence that could send shivers down any Dragon's back. Sure, his physical stature looked weak, but the spirit behind his eyes traveled through my core. At that instant, I would have shed my clothes and submitted myself to him. I did not need to let him know that, though.

The following words were the words I would use for the rest of my life. "I am sworn to carry your burdens." The deadpanned voice was real, my interest in carrying M'aiq to an inn with us was not my ideal moment, but it was worth it if I could be respected by the new man who stood in front of me. I wanted to impress him. I wanted him to love me, just as I now loved him.

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_**Cearbhail: **This will be a fun time, I can already tell._


	3. Ch 3: Bar Fight

**Cearbhail:**_ Longer chapter, yes. It's still fun, though. You'll love this. You'll see what the Dragonborn is all about. Well, M'aiq too. Don't expect him to stick around for long, though. I plan on introducing a new Khajiit later on and having two of them in one storyline is too much of a common thing for me now. Anyway, hope you enjoy._

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_Dear journal,_

_I have to be careful what I write in you now, because I'm sure that my Thane is still reading you. Shortly after I carried M'aiq's body to an inn, I requested that we just leave him there and continue our way to Riften, where some friend of my Thane is in dire need of help. This may very well be my first assignment as my Thane's assistant. Finally, my chance to shine. Well, my Thane could lot leave M'aiq alone, stating that it was my fault that he needed to be carried to an inn in the first place, so we spent the night instead. I had enough coins saved up for us to have two separate beds, which suited me just fine. M'aiq was going to stay downstairs where the bartender could watch over him. I know we owe M'aiq for pointing us on our path to Riften when we were driven off our path by a random Troll attack, but he is becoming too much a nuisance (to me) for us to keep him any longer._

_My Thane's sexual jokes have not let up but I don't dismiss them as frequently as I have in the past five days of knowing him. Instead, I only acknowledge that he did say something, which makes him laugh, and then we go back and forth arguing to each other in our usual way. I still kind of long to be with him, the force of his eyes that commanded me earlier still haunt my thoughts, although those eyes have long departed from his face. I did find out what my Thane was before he moved to Skyrim, though. I saw the flute in his bag last night, as well as a lute. It turns out that my Thane spends his free time Barding it up in the local inns. I watched him play last night, before we turned in. He is very good with the lute._

_That is it for now,_

_Lydia_

_…._

I closed my journal and leaned against the wooden seat. I stared out at the fire, letting the heat warm me up. It was running on day two now inside this inn and unfortunately, we were stuck here. For some reason, we were told to not leave the building until whatever was going on was settled with. I believed that it had something to do with the massive blizzard outside, but somehow I doubted that Imperial soldiers would post a guard outside the door just to keep us from going outside in a thick snowfall. I did not like just sitting here, not while my Thane's friend might need our help this very second. I admit, I've never been to Riften, but I have heard the worst about the town. I could not wait to see if all the stories were true about the town, but somehow I doubted that they were. Stories were just that, stories. Riften was probably no worse than Solitude.

I looked over at my Thane, who sat comfortably in his seat, playing his lute with a big smile on his face. He looked lost in his own world, not a care for what was going on around him. Did it not bother him that we were locked down until further notice? I guess he'd be more upset by the situation if…we didn't have M'aiq with us.

I let out a silent sigh as I looked over at M'aiq, who did not look bothered by being locked down either. He was happily clapping to my Thane's tune. Two females who were entranced by my master's tune were dancing next to the fire pit. They were displaying their flexibility for him to see. I wondered if they perhaps wanted to sleep with him. Then I wondered why I cared. It was probably because I wanted to sleep with him myself, but I would never admit that to anyone.

I finally stood up and made my way over to the bartender, a lovely Breton with her hair curled up into a loose bun. She was wiping down a thick mug when I walked up to her. She smiled at me and said, "What can I get cha? A nice warm mead, or a dark crisp ale?"

A shook my hand. "No, I don't drink, not while I'm on duty at least. I just want to know, do you know why we're still stuck here?"

She squinted her eyes and placed the mug down. She wagged her finger towards her, signaling that she wanted me to lean in. When finally, our faces were almost inches away, she whispered, "Way I heard it from the guards that came in last night, they spotted a Dragon down the road. The Empire wants to take this time to seize the Dragon for study, or kill it."

I looked around said, "Any idea when they might let us leave?"

She shrugged. "Hey…the Empire is footing your bill here, be happy. Free food, free lodging, and free booze. This is everything you and your husband should be looking for."

I raised my hands in silent protest. "Whoa…not my husband. He's my Thane, I'm his housecarl."

She raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Honey, I'm new to these parts. I'm afraid I don't know what a Thane or a housecarl is. Mind explaining?" She asked as she spat into a mug and started wiping it down. I took a second to see her smearing her spit around the inside of the glass. Yeah…I don't think I'll be drinking here anytime soon.

"A Thane is a recognized hero within a hold. My Thane is the Thane of Whiterun, therefore he saved it from danger once or twice. He is a hero, a legend. He is someone of great importance. I am his housecarl, his servant, his maid. I am his shield and his sword, as well as his housekeeper and his cleaning lady. I tend to any duty he needs me for. I am a lifetime partner who will dedicate her life to serving him in any way he wishes." I said with great conviction. I felt proud that I could say that about my life, although somewhere in my heart I felt something break. Maybe it was just because I wanted a bit of my own life as well.

I looked over at the Thane. Well, if the past five days were enough evidence of what life was going to be like…I was sure to live an interesting one following him.

"So…you are his wife?" She asked with scrunched eyes.

"What? No! Did you not hear me? I am his servant…a personal assistant." I said as I clenched my head in anger.

She nodded. "Ok, must have skipped over that part and heard, 'I live with him and will please him in any way he desires."

I looked her in the eye and said, "It is not above my code to hurt you." I pointed over at M'aiq. "I already knocked him out."

She raised both her eyebrows again and leaned forward. "Honey, if there is one thing I know…it's that you don't use fighting words around bartenders. We attract a bunch of loyal customers who love to stand up for us…especially if they hand out free drinks afterwards."

I felt some eyes looking over my shoulder so I turned to glance. Eight or so burly Nords were eyeing me the bad way and I felt something overcome me. I turned around and reached out in time to halt a small dagger coming for my throat. I grabbed the Breton bartender by her wrist, snapped it, and grabbed the dagger with my other hand. I turned around and looked at the gathering of Nords who all had their axes and swords unsheathed.

I looked over at my Thane, who was just now stopping his lute playing. He was looking around and I saw him look at me. He only shook his head in submissive defeat and placed the lute down. He stood up and said, "Ok, I get it. My friend over here seems to have…"

As my Thane approached one of the closer Nords, he received a punch to his nose in mid-sentence. My Thane staggered back a few steps and regained his balance. He reached up to his nose and rubbed some blood off. He looked at his fingers and sighed. "We have to do this, don't we?" He asked in defeat. Every Nord in the building shrugged.

"Free drinks if you kill them!" The Breton called from behind her counter, still hugging her broken wrist.

Every Nord's eyes lit up, even the dancers who were all over my Thane's stuff earlier. They rushed up, all relaxed and playful, and then grabbed him by the arms. They both pushed him down toward the ground.

I sprinted to go help him, but an arm materialized out from the sides of my peripherals and close-lined me across my throat. I was lifted off the ground and into the bar where the bartender served drinks. I hit the bar hard, forcing all the wind out of my lungs. I looked up to see a burly man grab me by my chest plates and lift me up.

"Sorry, but I like free drinks." He said right before he chucked me across the inn. I hit the ground and rolled a couple times before my heavy armor finally let me stop. As I tried to stand up, I had three guys fold down on top of me. I was strong, but not strong enough to fight three men at once. My arms gave out a couple seconds after trying to get up. I heard some feet stomp and I looked up to see that burly Nord walking up to me. He had a broken bottle in his hand. He had that look in his eyes, the look that meant that he was going to kill me.

"Seriously, I'd rather talk about this…" My Thane said as one of the Nords brought his sword up to his throat.

My Nord looked over at my Thane and said, "Ok, we'll keep her alive long enough to let her see her friend die. It's the least we can do."

I struggled to get up, but there was nothing I could do. Then, I saw M'aiq move.

One second, he went from sleeping on the chair, to up on his feet, punching out at two Nords at the other side of the inn. He moved so fast, spinning around them, grabbing them by their necks, doing a backflip, and snapping their necks while flipping them onto two other Nords behind him. Then, he spun around, raking them across their faces. As he continued spinning to a stop, I could see a giant whirlpool of blood fly off his claw tips. He left the two Nords alive, screaming as they dug at their shredded eyes.

My Thane, in that time of mild surprise that our enemies were now living in, spoke. "FUS!" An invisible energy seemed to throw everyone in front of him back. "WULD!" He shouted and then…disappeared. A second later, three guys screamed out in pain as their bodies fell in half. My Thane reappeared a second later, a hidden dagger now laced with blood. He looked at some of the remaining Nords and said, "No more, please. I have one more Shout…and I don't want to use it. Not here."

My Nord unsheathed his sword and pointed it at my throat. "Yeah? How about we kill this woman? Would that make you use it?"

He only pouted. "I can't use it…not while she's close to you."

I looked up at my Nord, who was smiling as big as he could. "Ok, tiny man. How about this: we fight one-on-one. No swords, no magic, no Shouts, no nothing. Just our bare fists."

My Thane nodded and stepped forward. "Ok."

The Nord stepped away from me, smiling. When I saw the two of them standing next to each other, I could not believe that my Thane even stood a chance without using his Shouts. He was a foot shorter, 200 pounds smaller, and had the muscle definition of a female deer, a baby one at that. The Nord who was threatening to kill me a second ago had iron plates that covered his body. Not to mention, it looked like he could go one-on-one with a Giant and win.

The giant Nord threw his first punch, one that was quick and showed just how strong of a fighter he was. His form was perfect. One second, the fist looked like it was going to connect, but then my Thane took a step back and to the left. The fist just…flowed past his head. My Thane then threw his arm up and connected with the Nord's arm. Then, my Thane stepped past him and pushed the man back.

My Thane just stood there for a second, allowing the man to regain his stance. He looked shocked for a second, like he couldn't believe that the man who stood there a second ago just disappeared. He then turned around, his face red with embarrassment. He roared out as he charged in, tackling my Thane. He only jumped back in response, throwing both his legs out, wrapping them across the Nord's torso, and bear-hugging him.

Then, my Thane did something with his foot that made the Nord loose his balance and fall forward. I didn't see it, but it looked painful. My Thane took that time to spin around the Nord's back, arm wrapped across his neck. My Thane pulled up, and leaned back. I could see the Nord's face puff out, turning first red, then blue, then…pale. He struggled every second of the way, but finally his arms stopped flailing about. It looked like he was trying to reach behind his back to grab him, but his arms were just too bulky to get far enough behind to grab him.

When the lights went out, my Thane released him and stood up. He looked around. "Now, do I have to fight all of you too?"

Two other Nords screamed and charged in. They brought their axes up and slashed down at him. He actually stepped forward, grabbed them by their cutting arms, spun underneath their collective bodies, and brought their arms down on the other's arm. They chopped each other's arms off. My Thane stepped past them, towards me, with that look in his eyes (that fiery look that was starting to define his character). The two Nords behind him were rolling on the floor, bleeding out.

He stopped at the three Nords holding me down. "Move." His voice sounded so strong, so forceful. The three Nords holding me down flew off my body instantly and back to the corner of the room. M'aiq stood there, smiling as strongly as he always did.

He winked at me and said, "M'aiq sees that the Nord servant is surprised to see that M'aiq can fight." He bowed to me. "Long line of Khajiit monks. Always called liars because any living being never tells truth. No one knows what is true and what is false. The Liars live the illusion of life the only way they know, to the fullest."

I looked up at my Thane, who had his hand outstretched to me. He smiled and said, "Oh yeah…I forgot to mention. M'aiq and I were buddies in the past. He trained me in his style of fighting. That's why I want to keep him around…for a while at least."

I only nodded. I looked between the two of them. I could not begin to believe what had just happened. Finally, I said, "How?"

"How did I win? Easy, Nord's arms were too big to move. I had the advantage of being loose and limber. I worked hard to get my arms this lean and now…they're as tough as dragon scales." He looked around the inn and said, "For now, we should leave. I doubt we're welcome here anymore."

"You got that right." An Imperial said as he walked through the door. He unsheathed his sword and said, "You, Dragonborn. Come with me."

I sighed as I raised my hands. M'aiq and my Thane followed suit and raised their hands as well. Great…now we were going to prison.

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_**Cearbhail: **Hope everyone enjoyed it. Let me know what you think so far._


	4. Ch 4: Dragon Fight

**Cearbhail:**_ So, they've been taken by an Imperial during a lockdown. Jeez, what could an Imperial possibly want with the Dragonborn during a Dragon invasion? I don't know. Oh, and M'aiq is with them._

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_Dear diary,_

_My hair is just not cooperating with me today. I can't seem to keep it boring and flat. How can I appear as overbearing and soulless if my hair continues to curl itself around my twirling finger while I cast my eyes spell over my lovely Thane, who I just want to beat to death…with my love. I just can't wait for this carriage to stop so I can just jump on top of him and just ride him into town, the back way too. I find myself growing more and more dependent on having him around. It's almost to the point to where I wake up in the middle of the night from dreams that make me sweat so bad that I could fill a pond._

_There is someone else in my life now too. M'aiq. After since I saw him fight, I couldn't help but be entranced by his roughish manner, his oh so stylish robes, his kitten face, or his deep scratchy voice that sends chills down my back. Truly, M'aiq is a fine specimen that I could sit around, petting for days on end with no ambition of ever moving from that spot._

_…_

The little stroll in the carriage was finally coming to a stop. The sudden pull forward woke me up from my nap, where I saw my Thane and M'aiq sitting quietly in the soft blizzard that had kept us from moving quickly the past few hours. As my eyes started scanning the cart, and my brain started translating what it was that I was seeing, I could see M'aiq scribbling on a parchment of paper.

"M'aiq…what are you writing?" I asked as I rubbed the blurriness from my eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just something for your diary." He answered.

I nodded as I yawned, but then…

The world stopped. Suddenly, I did not feel cold, I did not feel tired. All I could see was M'aiq scribbling in my journal. He smiled as I pushed off my side of the carriage and crashed into him, trying to get my journal back. "Give it to me before I behead you!"

He laughed. "You want me to give it to you so you can bed me? Jeez, keep it in my pants!"

I reached up to grab my journal, but M'aiq was taller than me so, he passed it off to my Thane, who was also taller than me. M'aiq tackled me, pushing us both on the other side of the carriage while my Thane started scribbling down as well.

_The fight we shared in the inn last night still gives me dragonbumps. The way my Thane moves still haunts my very waking being. Sincerely, his mastery of the lute combined with his mastery of the physical fighting arts are ones to win me over with. I wish to be of more service to my Thane, so I will begin by learning his ways, the ways of the Liars…well, the combat portion of it at least. Then, the hardest challenge I will ever be presented with will come to pass. I will learn to enjoy life…_

I finally snatched my journal away from my Thane and pushed myself into my seat. I cradled it in my arms, protecting it from being grabbed from me. Did they not understand what happened before when they tried this? I told them to not mess with my journal. This was my journal. This was my way of expressing what mattered to me while keeping my exterior self contained.

I looked over both of them, seeing that they were now starting to calm down from their explosion of laughter. When they finished their uncontrollable laughter, I said, "What did I say about touching my journal?"

They both looked down at the wooden floor with saddened eyes. They looked like little children. M'aiq looked up at me with wide eyes. "I'm sowwy, mommy."

I looked over at my Thane, who glanced up at me and said, "Hey, I'm just trying to create some memories. One day, you're going to look in that journal and see what we wrote and then you'll think of these days. The fun, the laughs, everything. Stories will be told of these moments. Not the dark times where we're fighting Dragons, or vampires, or even the Gods. No, you'll say to your children about the time you sat down and drank a mead at an inn and got in an bar fight with some Nords you didn't even know. How we were captured by one Imperial and forced in the back of a carriage to go up some mountain to fight a Dragon who has been terrorizing the nearby settlements. You will tell of the time you and M'aiq decided to shave his fur…or let me braid your hair. It will be those stories you remember and relish. Just wait." He said convicted as he stood up on the back of the carriage.

The Imperial driving the carriage looked back at us. "We're almost there. The Dragon has been spotted up near this mountaintop. We've tried fighting it ourselves, but we can't seem to keep it pinned for long. We figured if the Dragonborn happened to come across, we'd get him to help out. Now that you're here, you can kill this thing and do whatever it is that you do."

I looked over at the Imperial and said, "How did you know he was the Dragonborn anyway?"

He smiled. "I was guarding the door when I heard the fight break out. So, as I walked into the doorway, what do I see? I see someone Shouting twice and then taking down a bunch of Nords with little effort. I think it's a safe bet that he was the new Dragonborn that everyone is talking about."

My Thane smiled. "Indeed, I am. Name's Asger. It's Nordic for 'Spear of the Gods'." He nodded to the Imperial, who nodded a welcome back.

"Nice to meet you, Asger. My name is…"

He was cut off as a giant fireball landed on top of him, exploding as it crashed on top of him. The explosion threw the rest of us off the carriage and into the deep snow that blanketed the road. The horse charged off, frightened by the explosion that singed its rear end. Honestly, I didn't blame it.

Asger, instead of standing up to fight the Dragon that was now soaring above us, Shouting fireballs at us, he was struggling to get to the Imperial who was lying face down in the snow.

I looked over at him. He was now flipping the Imperial over, doing some sort of glowing magic stuff that I really didn't care about. "A healing spell? Are you a priest too?"

He shook his head. "No! I just…you know…went to the College of Winterhold for a day or two. Just to check it out. Made some good friends. One of which is in Riften and needs my help. She seems to have gotten arrested for…stuff."

I saw the Imperial's eyes open. I said, "Congrats, he's awake. Now get over here and HELP US!"

I couldn't help but be a bit bossy. I mean…I was fighting a fucking Dragon for Talos' sake! The thing was so huge and it was spitting out fire like it never stopped having any. I was scared shitless and I wanted all the support I could get. I knew what Asger could do now. I saw how he could fight. If anyone could handle this Dragon, it was him.

I looked back at Asger and saw that he was still patting the Imperial's face. "Leave him alone! He's probably dead."

He looked back at me. "No! He hasn't told me his name yet. Until he gives me a name, he won't become a main character!"

I looked at the Imperial and noticed the wavy brown hair with that face that looked carved from the gods. Oh shab….

It was Hadvar.

I rushed through the snow and up to Hadvar, who was still unconscious. A fireball exploded behind me, but I was too busy looking at his pale form. "Hadvar? Wake up!"

His eyes fluttered open. "I wondered when you'd notice it was me."

I shook my head. Of all the Imperials in the entire army here in Skyrim, I was amazed that I would run into Hadvar. "Why are you down here? What happened to supporting Whiterun?"

He chuckled weakly, gasping for small breaths of air. "General Tullius wanted me to capture the Rift for our war effort, so that's why I'm down here. He figured if we controlled the Rift, Ulfric Stormcloak will have to split his forces in half. But, taking this land is hard. This Dragon is hurting our cause, attacking our convoys as they travel through. It needs to die. I…I can't feel my legs." He said as he started glancing down his torso.

I looked down. His legs were buried in snow. I looked up and said, "Hadvar…your legs are probably frozen. We need to warm you up before frostbite sets in."

Asger looked at me and said, "Quick, go keep the Dragon busy. I'll heal him and warm up his body."

I stood up and looked up at the Dragon. It was circling above us in the sky; barely travelling fast enough for me to attack with something. It looked down at me with curious but ferocious eyes. "I am your shield and your sword."

I charged out toward the top of the mountain, where M'aiq was already standing near the top with his claws unsheathed. His robe looked burned on the right side, his entire sleeve burned off. He nodded to me a welcome. "M'aiq welcomes you back to the fight. Does the pretty Nord know how to dirty her nails?"

I lightly kicked him in the shins. "M'aiq, remember that I knocked you out already?"

He glared at me. "Knowing what M'aiq is now, does she think that she could have knocked poor M'aiq out if he did not let her?"

I looked down for a second. "Yeah, I could." Noting could stop me if I wanted it done.

Both M'aiq and I watched the sky as the Dragon spun around and flew towards us. I drew the bow that pretty much always sat across my back and grabbed an arrow. I loaded the arrow, pulled it back, took aim, and… jumped to the side as a giant arc of fire fell on top of us. I rolled through the snow, extinguishing any flames that fell on top of me. I came back up onto my feet, pulled the arrow back again and took aim. As the Dragon started to turn around, I let the arrow fly.

It flew and flew and then…bounced off his scaly chest. I actually watched as the arrow hit, bounced, and fell to the ground. The Dragon flew there, motionless, staring at me. Apparently, this was his way of mocking me. I pulled out another arrow and pulled it back. Mock me, will he? We'll see just how much he thinks this is funny. I released the bow and watched as the arrow flew up, up, and….right into the Dragon's left eye. The Dragon's reaction was instant. It let out a screeching wail with fire rolling out of its mouth as it screamed in pain.

The Dragon missed a wing beat and fell from the sky. He crashed into the ground, which shook both M'aiq and I off our feet and into the snow. As I stumbled forward to the ground, I pushed forward and sprinted over to the Dragon. It was still recovering from the crash, looking up at me with its one good eye. As I came charging in with my sword raised, it hissed out at me. Fire streaked out of its mouth, but I had my shield already out, protecting me as I continued to charge in. M'aiq came in behind me, spun past my shield, jumped in the air, and kicked my arrow that was lodged in his eye.

The Dragon screamed out in pain and rose its head up as it wallowed in pain. I took that time to thrust my sword out and into his throat. The scales under his neck were soft and inviting to my sword. I plunged my sword right in and waited. I twisted and pulled my sword out and was instantly welcomed by a giant streak of fire that roared through the open hole in his throat. I managed to fall backwards into the snow before any of the fire found its way to me.

My sword flew out of the throat, missing my head by an inch as it landed blade first into the snow. I looked from my smoking sword up to the Dragon, who was looking down at me again. His head was barely an inch away from mine. Suddenly, the Dragon opened its mouth and started…

"YOL…."

I could see some fire flying out its neck hole and it was roaring up to its mouth as it was beginning to say the rest of whatever it was it was going to say.

"TOO…"

M'aiq came out of nowhere, snatching the Dragon by his teeth and raking downward. The Dragon shook him off, threw him in the snow, and them stomped down on him. I heard M'aiq cry out in pain.

"No!" I screamed as I stood up, grabbed my cooled sword, and charged for the Dragon. It had just enough time before I ran my sword into the Dragon's ribcage. I slid the sword up, hoping that I at least did some damage.

I looked over at the Dragon's head. He was glaring at me with mostly annoyed eyes…well, one eye. Then, I felt something smash into my side, not only forcing any air out of my lungs, but throwing me a good twenty feet through the air and then down the hill. I slid through the snow for a while, not really sure what was happening, but I was able to spot the Dragon following me through the snow, slowly watching me as it patiently followed me, like a wolf playing with a baby deer before it killed it. I was nothing more than some food this Dragon was playing with before it killed me. It probably satisfied some primal instinct to feel superior.

I finally stopped sliding on the ground as I ran out of snow to glide through. A giant pile of snow had built up in front of me, slowing me down until I stopped. I looked up at the Dragon. It glared down at me with mild interest. The giant form of the Dragon right above me with a flaming mouth, while I had no shield, no sword…I was pretty sure that I was going to die.

"Hey, Dragon!"

I managed to tear my eyes from the Dragon long enough to see Asger standing not too far from us. He pointed at me and said, "Don't you dare touch her!"

The Dragon looked back down at me and growled. Crap…I think he just sealed my fate.

"WULD!"

Suddenly, Asger was in the Dragon's face, sliding his dagger into the Dragon's other eye. The Dragon opened his mouth to wail, but Asger was grabbing onto the Dragon's mouth. He pried it open as he was lifted into the sky.

"YOL!" Asger said. Fire arched out of his mouth, flying down into the Dragon's throat. The throat swelled up and then it started cracking. The entire neck exploded and the Dragon's body fell lifeless to the ground with Asger falling gracefully as well. He landed smoothly into the snow and dropped the head. Just as the head touched the ground, the head and the rest of the body erupted into golden flames as the scales started ripping off the body like paper cast in a giant bonfire.

As the body started burning up, I saw some multi-color lights flow from the dead Dragon to Asger, who held his hands out like he was welcoming a hug. The aurora light flowed into his body, where the light settled a second later. Once the light show ended, he looked back at me and said, "Well, that's another one. Guess what…I learned a new Shout!"

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yay for new Shout. Ice Form. Anyway, next chapter will be soon, and no, Hadvar is not dead._


	5. Ch 5: Ice Sculptures

**Cearbhail:**_ So, now everything has calmed down again. Well, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear Journal,_

_I cannot tell you how often I've thought about not writing in you because of my fear of my Thane reading this, but I figure…he already knows how I feel so I guess it does not matter what I do or do not write anymore. Without having a way to vent my frustrations and worries, I think I'd become as crazy as the group I'm following. So, without further hesitation: Asger, if you're reading this, turn around because I will have a club waiting for your head._

_Ok, now that I got that out of the way, we are still in the snow. We have to walk to some makeshift Imperial camp and get a ride to Riften. Hadvar woke up a few minutes after the Dragon was killed, upset that he missed the whole fight. He was very grateful that we killed the Dragon, though. He said that if we need any help at all, he would be more than proud to assist us in anything we needed. I guess we've somehow ended up on the Imperial side of this war. I was hoping we'd stay neutral, but I don't want Hadvar to get hurt, so I don't mind choosing a side._

_Now to some personal stuff. So…I pretty much have nothing. I mean, I fought a dragon and that was…something. It wasn't awesome, but it was something I will tell my children one day, if I ever have children. Hadvar is still attractive, he's definitely changed from the little boy I used to play tag with when we were kids. Not sure where I stand with Asger, but at least I don't hate M'aiq anymore. He's more than earned his place by my side, even if he's got too much fur in his brain. I'm really glad Hadvar is with us. With Asger and M'aiq being their usual irresponsible and childish selves…I'm glad to have another level-headed adult around for once._

_Lydia…_

"Hey, Lydia. Look at this."

I closed my journal and looked over at Asger. Once he saw that I was looking, he looked away from me. "IISS!" He spoke and ice flew out of his mouth. Mist surrounded an area in front of him, leaving me to wonder what it would be this time.

Maybe I should explain. Ever since he learned how to breathe ice…he started Shouting ice sculptures. He sucked at first, but after the first five, he started to craft actually nice statues.

Well, once the ice finally settled, I could see an elegant structure of someone standing on top of a downed and defeated but resisting dragon. I stepped in to see the sculpture better. He could only make them so big until he unlocked the next level. That being said, the statue was only 5 foot high and about 4 foot wide. That's still remarkable, but when it's this detailed, you have to get in close to see it. Hadvar and M'aiq were close behind me, eyeing the sculpture with just as much wonder as I was.

The sculpture was finely breathed, like it was perfectly carved, even though no carving was done. It was a statue of a dragon lying on its back, wings stretched out, tail up in the air, its neck flat on the ground, with an armored figure standing on its neck, keeping it pinned on the snow. The dragon's head was snaking upwards, trying to either growl or preparing to breathe on the warrior. The warrior herself, had one hand on her helmet, the other arm straight into the air, presenting her giant sword in a victorious gesture. I looked closer at the armored warrior and saw that it was…

"Me?" I asked.

He nodded. "I call it: Lydia kills a Dragon."

I could only nod. It was a very nice statue. "It's very nice, thanks."

Hadvar wrapped his arm around me. "Well, from what I heard, you kept the dragon busy while Asger healed me. He wouldn't have able to heal me if you didn't." He kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks, Lyds."

My body froze in my spot. Shivers ran across my whole body and my thought process stopped for a second. Hadvar stepped away, motioning everyone to start following again. "We should hurry. We can make it to the camp within an hour if we don't stop anymore."

…

We stopped more. Every few minutes, "Hey guys, watch this. IISS!"

Every time, a new statue. Some were of dragons, his friends, himself playing a lute. Plenty were of me, though. Including one with me wearing a simple elegant robe with my hair pulled up into a loose bun. I admit, it looked very nice. Hadvar seemed to like it as well since he insisted that we should just stand there and 'appreciate' its beauty for a couple minutes. Well, until some bandits who heard the Shouting came to attack us. The bandit attack lasted maybe one minute. There were only six of them and I finally got to use my sword for something useful for once.

Two of them charged up to me and I followed the training I received in Whiterun. As the first one came, I knocked him in the head with my shield, jumped past him, bashed the second one with my shield, spun around, cutting the first across his neck; and then finished my spin, killing the second. It was a very basic maneuver but it worked. I did not receive a scratch and I killed both my opponents with little effort. Everyone else pretty much handled themselves and made it through the fight just fine. After that, we just continued on.

We got attacked more, just like you'd expect, but eventually we made it to the camp around two hours. It was a welcomed sight. My fingers were practically frozen so the first place we looked for was a place to warm ourselves. We spent a good hour inside a giant tent, warming ourselves to the cinder pit. They didn't want anything hot enough to catch our matted tents on fire, so they took already burnt blocks of wood and placed them in a cinder pot in the warming tent. Good call, I say. I was just warm enough to keep myself from losing my limbs due to frostbite. Nords may be resistant to cold weather, but even we can suffer from frostbite if we stand outside in a blizzard for a few hours.

M'aiq was probably the only one who didn't need to warm up. Being covered in fur is pretty good for something, I guess. Too bad the rest of us weren't so lucky. He was currently outside, talking to some of the Imperial soldiers about what he experienced when he fought the dragon. I guess he was trying to teach them how to fight.

Hadvar had left us long enough to go talk to his superior officer, Legate Rikke. We were still waiting for him to return. After all, he told us not to leave this tent until he got back. So, I was sitting comfortably near the cinder pit watching Asger while he played his lute. A couple bored legionaries joined us, occasionally asking Asger questions about some of the things he did; like seeing the Graybeards, or joining the Companions. I just sat back and listened. I had a question directed to me, was I single? I almost laughed at that question but instead I shook my head and responded, "I am a housecarl. I cannot be involved with anyone while serving my Thane."

It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't quite a lie either. I could be involved with someone while serving the Thane, but it was hard enough to see to his safety when other people are in the way. It was easier concentrate on him if no other guy was involved in my life.

A few minutes passed by and then I finally saw a well-built Nord woman wearing Imperial steel walk into the tent. She paused for a second, looking around. She noticed me and nodded a greeting. I nodded back. She finally looked at Asger and her eyes started glaring at him. She walked up to him, looked him up and down. She seemed to smirk a little bit and turned around to look at Hadvar, who was now just walking into the tent.

"You're sure this is him?" She asked.

Hadvar nodded. "Twice now, I've seen this man. One time at Whiterun when he became the Thane. The two of us slayed a dragon. And just earlier, he killed the dragon with the help of Lydia and the Khajiit outside."

The woman shrugged. She turned to face Asger and bowed slightly. "Welcome, Dragonborn Asger. I am Legate Rikke. I am the Chief Lieutenant for the Imperial Legion here in Skyrim. I would like to ask you a favor."

Asger lowered his lute. "Sure."

Rikke cleared her throat. "We're marching to attack a fort, Fort Greenwall. It is the center for the Stormcloak Rebellion. We would be very appreciative of your assistance in the battle. I hear you have a friend in jail. If we regain control of the Rift, I can assure you that your friend will be released as your payment for helping us. Plus anything else you require from us."

Asger seemed to smile. "I was going to help regardless, but sure. If I help you, and you get my friend out of jail, there is one more thing I could use help with."

Rikke raised her eyebrows up in surprise. She looked back at Hadvar and said, "I thought you'd say that he'd just agree to help?"

Asger seemed offended when he grunted and looked away. "I WILL help. But, there's there is more to my story. My friend…in Riften, who's under arrest…she's there because she's helping me with an assignment. She went to Riften in my place while I dealt with the dragon in Whiterun. Now, I only know that she's in jail because she sent her familiar to deliver me a note."

He pulled out the note and said, "Asger, I asked around Riften for the person called Esbern. A person named Brynjolf said that he would tell me, if I did something for him. Originally, I thought it was going to end with me in his bed, but I was very mistaken. He wanted to me steal something, a ring, and plant it on someone else. Well, I'm no thief but somehow I ended up with the ring in my pocket. I was arrested immediately and now I'm in prison. I need you get come down here and get me out. I'm scared…this is no place for a Telvanni mage. … Brelyna Maryon."

Rikke only rubbed her eyes. "Ok, so you're looking for a man named Esbern?"

Asger nodded. "Yes. He's very important for some reason. So, once I help you win this region for General Tullius, I would like Hadvar to assist us in getting my friend out of prison and help me find Esbern."

Rikke looked back at Hadvar. She smiled. "Hadvar, do you have any argument against helping the Dragonborn with anything he just asked?"

Hadvar shook his head. "I will gladly assist."

Rikke nodded and looked back at Asger. "Good, so, first thing's first. We'll make our way to Fort Greenwall and kill every Stormcloak there. Then, we're marching through Riften to capture the city, and then we'll release your friend. Then, you can use Hadvar for your own assignment." She looked back at Hadvar again. "And after you're done, I want you to report to me. We still have a war to win. Understood?"

He nodded in return. "Understood, ma'am."

She looked back at Asger, her face a little more annoyed this time. "There is just one more thing I'd like to ask you, Dragonborn. Why, why… Why do you keep freeing the Stormcloaks we capture? Do you know how much damage you did by freeing those men who we jumped through chains to capture _alive_? They all had valuable intelligence and you… not only freed them, but had to kill their guards as well. You are lucky that you're currently useful to us, otherwise I'd have you in chains all over again and back to the block where all this mess started."

Asger smiled. "I freed them because I was a prisoner of the Legion. It is not fun and there is nothing to gain from killing a defenseless man who's in chains. I knew all their fates so I thought, if I freed him, and gave him a weapon, he had a chance to die as any Nord would, in battle. Not on a slab of rock with a giant axe above his head."

Rikke nodded. "Nicely spoken. Very true are your words. Unfortunately, it does not allow me to give you any slack. No more freeing our prisoners. Got it?"

Asger only smiled. "I would, if you were my boss."

I sighed and leaned back. Great…we may have just made a new enemy.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yes, it is a bit of a slow chapter, but it's all I can do for it. The story will really start to pick up soon. I have some big plans brewing in my head. Plans that will make my Khajiit Battlemage story seem like a baby considered to this one. And the major difference will be that this story will retain as much humor as I can._


	6. Ch 6: Lydia's daughter?

**Cearbhail:**_ Short chapter, but I loved writing it. Somewhere in writing the journal, I just thought of something and that something has just solidified the plot for this book and the sequel that follows. The ultimate sequel of every Elder Scrolls book I'll ever write, well until the books over at least. I have a lot of planning to do now. A lot of considerations to consider. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The last few hours have been exhausting and a little scary. I never knew how much preparation went into a war. Swords being sharpened are a normal sight, but hundreds of men and women lining up afterwards and having their blades inspected and then tested on a hair of straw? That's a little stressful to watch. My own blade that I sharpened for an hour straight did not pass. They said my blade was too blunt to cut through a Stormcloak's armor, let alone six or seven without dulling completely. They had to take my weapon away, heat it in the cinder pit, and then their forge master had to fix my blade. By the time I got it back, I could barely tell it was my blade. It was so light._

_After the swords were inspected, our armor was next. My steel armor was acceptable; even though they started that I needed a helmet. So, they threw one of their helmets on me and told me to keep my head down. After everyone was passed for combat, we were gathered around an Imperial Seer, an Illusion magic caster who could not only cast a live image of the fort that we were about to attack, but also show us how many men they had (56), magicians (zero), and conjurers (zero)._

_The image of the fort was amazingly clear. The seer was good at her job, even though she was a little ten year old. Her name was Cecilie. She had white eyes, stated that she was blind when I asked her about it. I would not believe it with how she walks around. She also talks like an adult. I cannot believe some of the things she told me. One of which was that… she was my future daughter. For some reason, she saw herself in the past: directing the Imperial army, talking to me, so…she decided to travel back in time using a portal technique that the Psijic mages used. I almost lost my mind, but then she hugged me and I was lost in a world of comfort. I sure hope she's my daughter. Then, she did the weirdest thing…she looked over at Asger and called him 'daddy'._

_(sigh) … That confirms it._

_… For now, Lydia._

I closed my journal and looked at the sunset. We were camping outside the fort, just far enough away that the Stormcloaks don't know we're here. We were scheduled to attack from the east as soon as the sun broke the horizon. Our plan was to use the sun to blind the archers until we broke through the walls. We were going to use Asger's Ice Form to freeze the wall and then use his Unrelenting Force to smash through the wall. It was a solid plan and I was sure with Asger and M'aiq leading the assault we'd be done soon.

Asger…

He was Cecilie's father. And, she was my daughter. As hard as it seemed, she did have my black hair and Asger's round face. So, that meant eventually I would have gotten together with Asger and gotten pregnant.

I sighed. That was good news. I was hoping that I would become a parent one day and to the Dragonborn's child? That was just a bonus. But, that did not help the fact that I was not currently interested in Asger. He was just too childish and immature. I do not mind helping him, but sleeping with him was not on my current agenda. Sleeping with Hadvar…that might be a possibility. There was one other problem. If I became pregnant, I could not serve Asger as his housecarl. I would have to take care of my child instead. And, I could not do that without his permission. I was forever his housecarl, as are my children, unfortunately. We were forever the Dragonborn's servants and his direct generation as well. My daughter would serve his son as a servant. After that, any connection with serving the Dragonborn's family would be broken. It was some weird rule that kept a family from being servants their whole lives.

"Mother?"

Cecilie walked up from behind me. She was dressed in heavy armor with an armored mask that covered her face. A seer was an honorable role to play in wars, so she was to be protected at all costs. If I had any doubts about which side I had to choose, it had to be the Empire. Two people I loved were involved: Hadvar and Cecilie. I could not leave these two to fight the Stormcloak Rebellion by themselves.

I nodded to Cecilie and said, "Yes?"

I think she smiled. She sat down next to me and placed her head in my lap. "I just came by to tell you why I came back in time."

I nodded. "Ok."

"You and father needed a lot of convincing to be together. So, a lovely girl had to intervene and put you two together. It was a long and complicated story that involved a lot of fighting, growing close, then distant, and then close again. It was a very long chapter in my mother's life, of learning to love, hate, and serve to her death. Then, earning the right to live again. I know what has to be done so I've come back to see that I am born. In a sense: I am here to see that I am able to come here to see that I able to come here to see that I will be born three years from now."

My head started spinning. "Ok…thanks. It is true that Asger and I get…married?"

She tilted her head. "Married? Maybe…I think you two are. I think you're still his housecarl and that I'm a bastard child…but I'm not sure. I've never asked and I'm afraid to find out by looking into my future. I try not to dabble in my own life…because life is so nice that I do not want to ruin it for myself. I only saw me coming back here because you told me to. You told me that you would tell me what I've always wanted to know when I get back. This is my wish. When I come back from the past…I want to know if you and daddy are married. A lot depends on my social standing, including the Aldmeri Dominion and our war with them."

I nodded. "Ok, I'll keep that from you until you come back from this current time space." What the heck was I getting myself into? My head was swarming with thoughts, questions, and almost everything you could think of. I found myself just relaxing as Cecilie fell asleep in my lap. So, this was my daughter? I smiled. I could not wait to have her. Well, at this moment, she was here. This was my daughter. My cute daughter. Since we had to be up in less than several hours, I decided that I had to turn in for the night and get my rest. I rolled out my bear pelt sleeping mat and put both myself and my daughter in the sheets. I closed my eyes and let the rhythmic beating of the Stormcloak's drums put me to sleep.

Ok, I guess I left that detail out. The Stormcloaks are known for their late-night parties. They had a whole band playing inside their fort and we could hear cheering and them talking. That was good for us. Tomorrow morning, they'd be sleeping on the ground, hung-over, and wore out from partying. We were just going to charge in and capture them all and kill any resistors.

"So…Lydia has a daughter?" I heard M'aiq's scratchy voice. I jumped through the sheets, grabbing the handle to my sword. It wasn't because it was M'aiq, but it was because he just woke me up as I was falling asleep. It took me by surprise.

I looked up and saw that M'aiq standing over me. He had that weird smile that he had whenever he wanted to play a prank or joke.

I rubbed the weariness from my eyes. "What makes you think that?"

He smiled. "M'aiq can scent the girl in your covers. She shares your scent. As well as Asger's. This one wonders…is she perhaps the daughter of you and the Dragonborn?"

I was speechless, but once again my pale face was my weakness. My face lit up bright red, which threw M'aiq into a wider smile. "He thought so. She did look like the cub of the two Nords and the girl smells like one as well. Since Lydia and Asger just met…this one thinks that the girl is from the future. Does this mean that M'aiq is right in his conclusion?"

I shrugged. "Yes…it's true. But…Asger cannot know about this. Understood? No telling him, at all!" I stood up and jabbed a finger at him.

M'aiq nodded. "He understands. If he tells Asger about his daughter, she may not be born and then this time-space will be interrupted. Whatever has happened will disappear and we will be reset in this time with some other blind seer directing us, or perhaps we will just all die in the attack."

I sighed my relief. I was glad that M'aiq understood just how desperate this situation was. At least I had one person I could rely on.

"Asger!" M'aiq screamed as he sprinted away. "This one has something to tell him!"

My eyes bulged out of my head but I should have expected it. I tore off my sheets and sprinted to catch up to M'aiq, who was now running as fast as he could, laughing back at me as he continued to gain distance. M'aiq was the fastest runner I've ever known, no one could catch him and he was using that trait against me now.

I finally caught up to M'aiq. He was talking to Asger, who looked surprised by what he was just told. I bent over to catch my breath but managed out, "My Thane…please…understand…" I said between breaths.

He looked down at me, mildly surprised. "Understand? What is there to understand? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

I shook my head. I forced myself to stand up and slow my breath rate. "I just found out. It wasn't like I planned it."

He smiled. "Sure you did! There is no way you could not have planned it. Otherwise, this would not be a great plan. Cecilie told me earlier but I figured it wasn't a good plan. But now that you've told me, I can put some serious stock in it."

Legate Rikke walked up, nodding. "I agree. This plan is perfect." She looked over at Asger and said, "You should begin, Dragonborn. We cannot wait to chance fate."

My face blushed over. What the heck was going on? Was this all one giant cosmic joke about me and Asger getting married and having sex, or was there something else that M'aiq shared with Asger?

I decided to bite my tongue. I cleared my throat and said, "So…just to be sure…what plan are we talking about?"

M'aiq smiled. He patted me on the back and said, "Has this female Nord forgotten? She gave this one a great idea. She suggested that we create a giant fake army of ice Imperial soldiers dressed in our spare armor. The Imperials are setting the sculptures up on the west side of the fort to draw the attention of the Stormcloaks away while the real Imperial Legion attacks from the east as planned."

I nodded, taking M'aiq's wink as a command to play along. "Yes…I remember now. I did think of that." I pulled M'aiq in and whispered, "What the oblivion did you say that it was me? I did not even think of that!"

He smiled. "Liar…that is what M'aiq is. He lies and very well too. M'aiq is making the Dragonborn see the lady Nord as a strong tactical thinker. It will prepare him for the moment that he falls in love for the lady Nord." He patted me on the shoulder. "M'aiq knows best. Trust the Liar." He winked again.

Rikke looked over at Asger. "Dragonborn, we'll need at least twenty of them. You'd better get started."

Asger nodded. "Sure thing but…can I go over to the fort and join the party? It sounds like they're having a blast over there."

She rolled her eyes. "The only blasting I want to see is you blasting ice out your nose. Now…get started." Then she walked away.

I chuckled a bit before turning to go back to bed. I did not need to be out here and watch him sneeze out ice soldiers. I was sure to be very busy tomorrow, especially after the battle.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yes, Cecilie is Lydia's daughter. Cecilie is actually Latin for 'blind'. I thought it was a cute joke to play on a blind girl who can see the future. She is also the main character in her own sequel coming later on, once this is done. Keep you eyes open for it, no name for the book yet._


	7. Ch 7: Fort Greenwall

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok...not my best work. I took a final today so I'm a little brained burned. Anyway, I'm sure it will still rock the party to come._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So…I guess this is not an appropriate time to write down my thoughts…_

"Lydia, move!"

Hadvar yelled as tackled into me, throwing me down to the ground.

A large flaming boulder flew over our heads, exploding only a few meters away. He covered our heads as hot rocks rained down rained down on top of us. Once the flaming rocks stopped falling onto our heads, he glared down at me. "What were you thinking? We're in the middle of a war!"

I shifted uncomfortably underneath his bulky body. Were this any other circumstance, I'd probably be…well…still uncomfortable. He was right on top of me.

"Seriously, what were you thinking?" He asked a little more gently.

I looked down at my pinned arm. "I…I'm nervous and…I write when I'm nervous."

"Nervous?" Asger asked as he walked up with M'aiq behind him. "What's there to be nervous about?" He said right as a boulder exploded behind him. A head sized flaming debris flew up behind him, knocking him forward. "Thalmor! That hurt!" He said as he rubbed the back of his head. When he lifted his head back up, three arrows flew into his armored chest.

He saw me look at his chest. He shrugged. "Ah, come on! If you're afraid of a few arrows, then you aren't living yet." He stepped toward the fort. "Just stay behind me. I'll take care of everything."

Asger broke the arrows from his armored chest plate. "Lydia, take note of this day, because this is the day that we take over our first fort!" He bent down and grabbed my journal. He took my hand and lifted me up, pushing me behind him. He gave my journal back to me and said, "I want you to write everything you feel this night. I want us all to remember this day for the rest of our lives."

I nodded. "Sure thing."

_I'm back, journal. It's the day we're invading Fort Greenwall. I've already almost had an arrow take my head off. Hadvar saved my life. I paused for a moment when I realized the position Hadvar and I were in after he talked me to the ground. It was very…it could have been romantic. Too bad the fate of my daughter resides in me having her with Asger and no one else._

_Of course, we would not have ended up in that position if my great Thane had not ruined our chance for a surprise. We had everything in our favor. We had this fort taken for good, but someone had to ruin it for us. As we snuck up from behind the fort, we could hear the surprised Stormcloaks talking about his ice sculptures. One asked his buddy, "Hey…aren't those ice sculptures? Where did they come from?" His buddy replied, "I don't know…but what is that one? Is that a dragon riding on a horse?"_

_(sigh)…_

_Asger, of course, yelled out, "Hey! That's not a dragon, that's my mother!"_

_As soon as he said that, we were suddenly being filled with arrows, flying boulders, and released sabre cats that were trained to not bite Stormcloaks._

_Cecilie is of course back at the camp, staying out of the fight. She wanted to come out and 'watch' me fight. I don't know how, but even though she's blind, she seems to be able to see just fine._

_Well, I should go, I…have a bloody arm to pluck out of my hair…_

_Lydia._

I resisted screaming out in horror and I closed my journal. I put my journal away and brought my hand up to brush the bloody Stormcloak arm out of my hair. I could feel the warm sticky blood rolling down my forehead. I sure hope this Stormcloak lived a clean life…I did not want to wake up infected with something I did not deserve.

"Lydia! Stay behind me!" Asger said as he started climbing a staircase.

It was now that I got a good look at where we were. I was right in the middle of soldiers of different uniforms clashing blades. Arrows flew back and forth, catching people in the heads. Swords sung as they repeated off of shields and steel armor. And I was standing in the middle of it. Worst off, I wasn't moving, I was just watching. I looked up to see Asger and M'aiq just flying through some Stormcloaks. They charged right through the Stormcloaks with their bare fists like they had no problem with it. The Stormcloaks were falling three stories down as M'aiq shoved them off the pathway and down to the lower levels. The Stormcloaks screamed in fear as they plunged and then they were silenced with a loud smack sound.

"Lyds!" Hadvar called.

I snapped out of my bubble and saw that a Stormcloak woman was coming for me, her sword raised above her head. Behind her was a party of several other Stormcloaks.

I reacted without hesitation. I unsheathed my blade, it singing from its sheath until it connected with the Stormcloak's arm. My newly sharpened blade cut through it like I was cutting through air. Her sword fell from her severed arm. She did not go down at that, though. I actually finished by grabbing her and heaving her back into her buddies that were gathering behind her.

During their initial surprise, they caught her and helped her to the ground. I took that time to charge in, plunging my blade into one of them, and ramming my spiked shield into another. The first one croaked out as he died, the second one grabbed his eyes and screamed as my spikes blinded him.

The others weren't as slow, though. Two of them grabbed me and pushed me off of their group, shoving me into the wall. "Now, we're going to kill…"

Suddenly, his head snapped forward. His buddy looked over at him and his head snapped as well. I could see two perfect arrows stuck right in their heads. I looked up to see Rikke mock-saluting me before she turned her attention back to the three Stormcloaks in front of her. She caught a great-axe with her shield, spun underneath it, and swiped her sword vertically. The Stormcloak cried and fell from the platform, both his arm sliced off at the forearms.

"I could use some help!" Hadvar called from up above me. He had ten Stormcloaks surrounding him, pinning him on a small stretch of stone.

"IISS!" Asger called from across the fort.

I watched as the mist flew over my head and land of five Stormcloaks. They jolted like they were surprised, but after that, ice had formed around their bodies. Hadvar nodded his thanks for Asger and turned to face the other five Stormcloaks that were now flanking him. "Thank you, Dragonborn. I owe you a pint when we get to Riften."

I stood here long enough, I thought as I pulled out my bow and some arrows. I pulled an arrow back and took aim. Hadvar already was confronting the first Stormcloak, so I fired my arrow at the second one. My arrow hit at the knee, puncturing it upwards. The Stormcloak cried out in bloody murder, pulled his leg up, lost his balance, and fell onto his buddies behind him. They did not see it coming and neither did he. They were still watching Hadvar when it happened.

Hadvar charged through his opponent and then jumped on top of the surprised group of Stormcloaks. He placed his sword up to their throats. "Give it up, you're all that remains."

I looked around. Dead bodies of Stormcloaks and a few Imperials scattered the fort. Rikke, a few of her soldiers, Asger, and M'aiq were still standing. There were plenty wounded Stormcloaks and Imperials groaning on the ground. Seeing the painful looks on their faces: the look of defeat on the Stormcloaks, and the slight smile and eye glitter of victory for the downed Imperials, I could only let my sword fall from my fingers.

This battle was over. Rikke acknowledged it by walking up to the group Hadvar captured. She nodded to them. "We can do this the Nord way, or your way. If you talk, we'll spare your lives, if not…well…I'm sure you know the drill. The drill can't wait to meet you." She smiled as she pulled out an interrogation drill. It was a torture device to make as much pain as possible with as little blood as possible. It ran itself so the torturer did not need to stay awake to use it. It was a normal procedure to run them for days on end with no stopping, only adding more and more to various places, until someone cracked.

The Stormcloak with the shattered knee shook his head quickly. "No need, no need. I'll talk."

The other Stormcloaks all looked at him in disgust. "We will kill you if you say anything."

Rikke snapped her fingers. Four arrows were launched from the archers that were just now appearing at the top of the fort. The remaining Stormcloaks took the arrows to their heads. Now, the only one that remained was the Stormcloak willing to talk. Rikke lowered down and said, "Ok, talk. We'll start with…"

…

I sighed with relief. Rikke was still interrogating her new favorite prisoner. While she was busy chatting with him, we were scheduled with cleaning up the fort; scrubbing all the blood off the blocks, moving the bodies to the giant bonfire out behind the fort, and collected any and all possessions. Everyone who died was stripped of their armor, and all the Stormcloak armors were ripped apart to make new bedding pads for the new Imperial fort.

I was standing on the staircase where Asger breathed fire onto a couple Stormcloaks. Their bodies were melted to the stone, leaving behind a really squishy black resign that grossed me out.

"M'aiq smells yummy yummy. Can he has bite?" M'aiq called as he started climbing up the stairs.

I threw him the broom and said, "Have at it. I'm going to go throw up."

Rikke finally walked out of the main entrance for the jail cells, her face triumphant. "Ok." She looked over at her me and motioned me forward. Then she looked around. "Everyone form up! Time to receive our new orders."

Everyone hustled as fast as they could. Not having to mop up blood was more than enough reason to form up immediately. Everyone moved into perfect lines. All…ten of us.

She nodded to us. "I have just chatted with General Tullius via crystal ball. Our reinforcements will be here by morning. From there, we're charging to Riften and we're taking the city by force." She looked over at Asger. "I know this is a lot to ask, but if you can go into the city tonight and create some dissent, perhaps organize a riot within the city by first thing in the morning, I would appreciate it. I want to march into the city not having every guard breathing down our masks."

Asger nodded. "Jeez, I can't go anywhere without attracting attention. I'm sure I'll think of something."

I smiled. Yeah, I'm sure he'd think of something. Maybe more ice sculptures.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **XD I cannot wait to see whatever it is that I plan on unleashing onto Riften... I... I don't even know what it is yet, but whatever it will be, I am sure that it will be a lyical genius situation of chaos and uncontrollable laughter...I hope.._


	8. Ch 8: Mjoll and Riften

**Cearbhail:**_ I enjoyed this chapter. I'm sure you'll see why._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So, the four of us are going to Riften. By four of us, I mean Cecilie is coming along. I protested the idea, but Cecilie said that she needed to come because she saw herself coming. So, she pulled out her blue mage robes and grabbed my hand, saying that we had to leave immediately._

_M'aiq is happy to return to the town of his upbringing. Apparently, Liars are brought to Riften to see just how disillusioned society really is. According to him, the people there are living a constant illusion. The illusion that men in masks can keep power over everyone else. If everyone just stood together, they could easily bring down anyone who threatened them, but they do not see that. I had to admit, it sounded too profound to come from his mouth, but immediately he fixed his reputation by saying, "Silly, Nord. She just believed M'aiq's lies. Riften is a beautiful town with butterflies, apple pies, and nice welcoming Khajiit women who want M'aiq._

_I seriously think he's living in his own illusioned world. Well anyway, I should go. We're almost there anyway._

_Lydia …_

"So…" Asger started as we approached the gate to Riften. I saw the shifty looking guards standing next to the entrance to the town. They were eyeing us as we came up, one of them shuffling his mace around.

Finally, Asger looked back at me and said, "What is a housecarl's job anyway?"

I stopped in my tracks. This entire time…and he didn't know?

I sighed inwardly and said, "I am to be of service to my Thane. I am his personal servant, carrying any burdens he wishes to put upon me. When at home, I am the house cleaner, making sure my Thane's house is dust and rodent free when he arrives. My duty also applies to taking care of any pets or children that my Thane may have. That is just my secondary role. My primary role is to protect my Thane from any who would wish him harm. I am your shield, your sword, and I am sworn to carry your burdens." I bowed to him and finished, "It is an honor to service you, my Thane."

Asger only smiled. "Ok, thanks."

We walked up to the gates and one of the guards walked up. "Hold. We demand you pay us 1,000 gold to enter our fair city."

Asger smiled as he looked at me, "Oh, Lydia…"

I sighed. Great…this was going to start. I pulled out my coin purse, happy that I made some money from the stuff I sold.

Asger saw me digging into my coin purse and raised his hands in defense. "Whoa! Stop that." He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Bad time for a joke, huh?" He turned back to the guard and said, "A fine, huh? I've been pretty much everywhere and I've never had to pay a fine to enter."

The guard turned defensive. "So? This is no ordinary city you are risking to enter. This is Riften, capital of the Rift. We have the powerful Thieves Guild inside this city, and it can become very…dangerous for those who have not paid the fine."

Asger only smiled. "Danger, huh? As in distracting, chaotic, guard involving, danger?"

The guard backed up. He did not like the look in Asger's face. "Well, yeah…but…you don't, you couldn't possibly want…"

Asger handed a small bag over to the guard. "Oh, I do, but thanks for telling me what I wanted to know. Here's the fine."

We started to approach the gate and the other guard stopped M'aiq. "Hold, fur lickers are not allowed within the walls of Riften."

Asger chuckled. "This day is just perfect for us." He looked back at M'aiq and said, "We'll go on ahead, do what you do best."

M'aiq smiled through his fangs. "Do not worry, M'aiq will show these guards what happens when you stop a Liar."

…

After we entered the city, we were halted by some man who wanted to warn us to not mess with the Black-Briars, because they ran the city. Then, we actually ran into a Thieves Guild operative extorting money from a Redguard. They were out in plain sight. People who overheard the conversation just hid their faces while they scurried past. This town was definitely infected. It needed someone to come by and save it. I guess that had to be us.

"Will you just give it a rest, Mjoll? You're going to end up dead at this rate." A well-dressed Imperial said.

I looked over at them as saw the Imperial standing over a tall buff Nord woman, who was clutching her side as she started to stand up from her chair. She attempted the best smile she could offer. "I am just fine, Aerin. I almost had them this time. Those thieves were breaking into that person's house. I beat one up and chased the other one through the Ratway…I almost found their hideout…I was so close."

Asger walked up to Mjoll. "What happened?" He asked.

She looked up at Asger and then her eyes seemed to soften up. "I like the look in your eyes. They are pure eyes. You don't belong in Riften. You should leave before this city claims your soul."

Asger smiled in his weird competitive way and said, "I'm actually here to get my friend out of jail and to find someone who's disappeared here. This city is about to witness a shift in ownership so…your job may become easier."

She smiled and sat back down in her chair, squeezing her side as she did so. "That is great to hear, but…what is going to happen?"

Asger leaned down and whispered something. I already knew what was going to happen so I assume it was something along, "We're with the Imperial Legion and we're taking the city away from the Stormcloaks."

Mjoll nodded when Asger ended his whisper. "So, you want a riot? I can do that. All you need is to call out the Thieves Guild. Follow me." Mjoll said as she stood up and started walking toward the center to town.

Cecilie pulled on my arm and I looked down at her. Her blind eyes looked up at me. "I've seen her in my visions. She is a very strong fighter that will come to help change the world."

I smiled down at her. "Well, at least she's on our side."

Cecilie nodded. "She is."

"Hey, get back here, cat!" I heard a guard call as M'aiq came flying past me on all fours. He charged right past me, glancing down at me as he climbed up a building using his claws. He winked down at me and said, "M'aiq sees the legion approaching. The Dragonborn and his party should begin his distraction."

I looked over at Asger and Mjoll. They looked back at me and nodded. Asger looked over at Mjoll and said, "We need that distraction, now."

Mjoll smiled. She walked over to the marketplace and jabbed a finger at some person selling potions. "Brynjolf, I know you're a member of the Thieves Guild. Hand yourself over to the authorities or prepare to taste my finger."

Brynjolf arched his eyebrows. "Finger? Why?"

She looked disappointed. "I lost my blade in a Dwemer ruin but…that does not matter. All I need is one finger to beat you."

Brynjolf smirked. "Go ahead and try. If you're right and I'm in the Thieves Guild then I'm untouchable."

I started to walk up behind Mjoll, Asger right beside me. M'aiq was busy running through the streets, playing 'catch the cat' with all the guards.

Mjoll saw the guards chasing M'aiq and looked over at Brynjolf. "Your precious paid protection is too busy to stop me now. Take this." She flicked her finger at his potion vending stall. The stall flew off the ground, taking Brynjolf with him. They flew into a building, shattering the wall behind them.

I stood there, dumbfounded. Just…what type of woman was she anyway? She just flicked and sent a venting cart and a grown Nord man through a building made of rocks…I was impressed.

Cecilie pulled on my arm. "She is not even trying yet. Just wait to see what she can really do."

Mjoll started walking up to the wall, saying, "I saw what you did to that Dunmer mage when she came here asking for a man named Esbern. I overheard you saying that you wanted Brand-Shei arrested. Then that wonderful girl said that she could not do it because it was wrong and then…you…you stole the ring yourself and put in _her_ pocket as punishment. You make me sick, Brynjolf. Even if you aren't with the Thieves Guild, you represent the sickness within this town. It is a sickness that I will cure, first by getting rid of you."

Brynjolf started climbing through the wall, his face covered in blood. He was gasping for breath. He rubbed his head. "Is it Mondas already? It's the same speech, the same routine. Let me tell you something, you're the sickness here. You think you're so much better than the rest of us with your overbearing attitude. You come into our city, tell us we're wrong, and then try to force your beliefs on our shoulders. This town was just fine before you came here and it will still be fine when you leave. Ever since you've come here, it's been chaos because you're pulling strings that shouldn't be pulled. You've made the shop owners too proud to pay their dues and now you've just assaulted a very important figure. You've just thrown a rock at a wasps nest, Mjoll. I hope you're ready to be stung to death."

Asger walked up beside Mjoll. "Good, bring as many bees as you can. We'll swat them all." He pointed to himself. "Tell your little bees that Mjoll has the funding of the Imperial Legion and the Dragonborn on her side."

Brynjolf smirked. "The Imperial Legion, huh? Did you forget, this is Stormcloak territory!"

"Not anymore it's not." Legate Rikke said as she rounded the corner. Imperial soldiers stormed past her, rushing straight for the capital building. She walked up to Asger and said, "Great distraction, Dragonborn. I overheard everything. If Mjoll is right in her suspicions then this…" She looked at Brynjolf laying in the rubble of the smashed wall, "thief will be put behind bars for the remainder of his life." She patted Mjoll on the shoulder. "You will be the guard captain of this town. I expect you to cleanse this city in the name of our great Empire."

Mjoll nodded and looked down at Brynjolf. "You hear that…I'm in charge of the guards now, not your group. Expect some changes to occur."

I smiled. I was glad this all worked out for the better.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **So much for the uncontrollable laughter. Man.. I need to get back to the funny stuff. I guess I'll try to overdue it for the next chapter to compensate the last two chapters, even though the comedy from last chapter was Asger ruining the stealth entrance._


	9. Ch 9: Thieves Guild

**Cearbhail:**_ Holy crap, this is a long chapter. Good, I was starting to get worried that I was not being my usual self. Well, I liked this chapter a lot towards the end. A good epic fight between the leader of the Thieves Guild and everyone in Asger's party. You'll never guess who wins._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Almost instantly you could see the change in the city. The new guard captain, Mjoll, stepped up immediately to her new task. The streets that have been covered in trash are clean, certain individuals that are known to be thieves from the Thieves Guild have already been placed in chains. I noticed the woman extorting the Redguard placed at a tip of Mjoll's finger, but the woman decided to fight back. Asger got in the way, wanting to fight her himself. So, when she came at him with a knife, he grabbed her by the arm, spun her around and…started dancing with her, humming something._

_The look on her face was almost laughable. She looked confused, frustrated, and a little embarrassed. When she broke free from him and started slashing again, he just danced around her, still humming. He even clapped as he passed her saying something like 'hey' or 'aye'. The fight lasted a good hour, ending with Asger grabbing the attacker as she fell down, and finishing his little humming song. She was so winded that she could only smack him. Then, well…she kissed him. Apparently, she has some issues with men. Asger did not complain, though. Maybe I should try to get him on my side? I could dance with him, I know I could. Maybe I will once we're done with finding this Esbern person._

_Cecilie is happy. She gets to run around the new Riften with Guard Captain Mjoll as they get more thieves. Cecilie has single-handedly pointed out every thief in the city. Her powers of seeing are well-known. She even had an attempt on her life, although it ended with Cecilie squirting ketchup into her attacker's face. Then she jumped up on top of him, using a Paralyze spell. My daughter…is a spellcaster. That is a bit of a bad omen among my people but she is more than happy to have the ability to wield her inner strength. She says that she needs it to fight the Thalmor…something that is inevitable in her time. Only 13 years from now…and counting. What on Nirn is going to happen?_

_That is it for now,_

_Lydia…_

I closed my journal and looked away from my table. It was nice to be able to sit down and enjoy a good meal for once. Asger was currently downstairs getting his friend out of jail. Guard Captain Mjoll was arranging the barracks to her favor. Every once in a while, she would come in to check in with me. She was walking around with my daughter, after all. Of course, she does not know it, but she knows that Cecilie is in my protection.

Cecilie herself seems so connected with everything in the town. Nothing seems to surprise her, like she already knows just how life will play out here, but she stays involved with it. I asked her about it earlier and she responded with, "I do find myself repeating what I do and say, but I've always wondered…can I change it, whether or not if I know my role? And if I do, will something different happen? Do I have the ability to change the fate of the world, or just follow it non-blindly?"

She seemed a little shaken and a little tearful when she said that last part though. Some part of me thinks that she has seen her own future and may be afraid of what may happen to her. I don't know exactly how to comfort her, but I will try my best.

"I mean it, thank you, Arch-Mage." I heard a soft angelic voice call from the stairwell.

I looked away to see Asger and a Dunmer dressed in college robes climbing the stairway. Asger was smiling and rubbing the back of his head. "Please, stop calling me that, already. I was only there for a week."

The Dunmer's eyes squinted. "And in that week, you found a giant orb that almost destroyed Winterhold, found a staff…"

"With your help.." Asger started, pointing his finger at her. "You were following me for most of all those. I could not have gotten through any of those places without you."

She smiled. "True as that may be, in that week, you changed the entire fate of the college. I am not sure what would have happened without you there."

Asger looked away. "It seemed that ever since I had arrived, trouble followed. Wherever I go, trouble seems to go as well." He looked over at her. "Which is why my party needs your help with finding Esbern. I'm sure that we'll encounter something that will try to kill us once we do find him. He is very important to the Thalmor, so I'm guessing he will be attacked by the Aldmeri Dominion. Are you sure you want to make these guys your enemies? They might attack the college in retaliation."

She narrowed her eyes. "Arch-Mage. With Ancano being dead, we're all expecting some type of retaliation. If we can damage them enough, they'll forget about the college anyway."

I just sat in my seat, trying to grasp everything that was being said. Something about the college, probably the College of Winterhold, since they were both students there. Well, technically, Asger seemed to be the Arch-Mage of the college. That was just another thing to add to his list of things that make him a well-respected figure in our world. It was too bad that even with all the impressive things he accomplished that he was still a goofball.

Asger looked over at me and smiled. "Oh, Brelyna! This over here is my housecarl, Lydia." He waved his hand back over to the Dunmer and said, "Lydia, this is my good friend, Brelyna. She's my friend from the College of Winterhold. She's the one who was in prison."

Brelyna nodded a welcome to me. "It is nice to meet you, Lydia."

Then M'aiq walked into the room, followed by Hadvar. "M'aiq wonders when this party is going to find out more about this Esbern."

Brelyna sighed. "I know who knows. Brynjolf knows where Esbern is."

"Brynjolf?" Mjoll said as she entered the room with Cecilie behind her. She clenched her teeth. "Of course he would. He knows everything because he's a thief." She punched the wall next to her, blowing a hole clear through to the other side. "He probably won't tell us anything now."

I looked down at Cecilie and said, "Cecilie? Can't you tell us where Esbern is?"

She nodded. "Yes, he's in the Ratway. I can lead you straight there."

"Ratway?" Mjoll asked. "The Thieves Guild is in the Ratway. Can you help me find the Thieves Guild as well?"

Cecilie nodded. "Yes, it is on the way down to find Esbern." She looked over at Mjoll and blinked her blind eyes. "But to do so in your current state would mean your death. You should wait until da… until the Dragonborn finds your sword."

I noticed Cecilie's slight slipup, and so did M'aiq, but since no one else knew about her secret, no one else caught it. I could see the slight disappointment in her face when she had to call her own father by a third person moniker. It had to be hard, to know her father but to call him by some other name instead.

Mjoll shook her head. "No, if we wait, we'll miss them. My job is to make Riften safe and I will do just that. The Thieves Guild will die, tonight."

Cecilie sighed and nodded. "Yes, I know…" She looked back up at Mjoll and said, "I'm sure da…Dragonborn will help you first. You know, along the way to find his friend, who has plenty of time to spare."

Mjoll nodded and said, "I find that acceptable." She looked over at Asger and said, "If he will help me, that is."

Asger pulled both me and Brelyna, who squealed in surprise, close to him, hugging us as he said, "Are you kidding? Together, the three of us can pretty much do anything." Then he looked back at Hadvar and M'aiq. "Not to mention those two as well. The seven of us will pretty much burn a hole in the Thieves Guild."

"Seven?" Mjoll questioned. "There's only six of us."

Cecilie threw her hand up. "I am also coming. I'm sure daddy doesn't mind." She said and as soon as she said it, she covered her mouth as if she no longer could control anything she said. Her face blushed up madly, reminding me of just how I deeply I blushed.

I looked over at Asger, who was looking down at Cecilie in surprise. Then he tilted his head to the side. "Thanks, I'm honored you think of me as a father."

Cecilie smiled. She turned away. "No, thank you. I am a poor orphan girl who misses her parents, who were killed by assassins. Can she call you father?" She turned and turned on the sweet eyes that any child would give to any adult.

Asger smiled. "Sure, I don't mind. I'll even call you my daughter if it helps."

Then she looked over at me. "Can you be mother?"

I nodded. "Sure thing, Cecilie. Come give your daddy and me a hug."

She smiled and charged into both of us. I could see the tears now flowing from her eyes. This was real. It was like we were a family, and now Cecilie didn't need to hide at least some truth from either of us. She could call us both by our real names and not have to care about what might happen in the future. More than that, it would help create the idea in Asger's head that he and I would become selective parents. If we spent enough time with her, we would just…become a husband and wife. I was sure of it.

Mjoll awed and showed a bit of her feminine side before she said, "Can we please get started. I want to rid this town of the Thieves Guild before they have a chance to prepare."

…

So, after traveling in the sewers of the under-city, fighting infected skeevers, some crazy people who lived down here, and one very stupid old man who was guarding the entrance to the Ratway. One we busted through the door, we were met with another bouncer. He rushed up to us, Mjoll stuck her hand out, caught his sword slash, snapped his blade by squeezing her hand, and then gently pushed him away. He flew off the ground and smashed through a wall. I was beginning to wonder if this was her way of dealing with others…by throwing them through walls.

We proceeded through the tavern-style room, getting pressed by some people in tight leather. Mjoll looked them over and flicked both of them. Their heads rocked back and they hit the ground, twitching. She looked back at us and said, "We're getting close. That's Vex and Delvin. They are master thieves that I've been looking for."

Cecilie was already running up to a door and pointing at it. "The real guild is behind this wall."

Mjoll growled as she cracked her knuckles. "Let's see how strong of a wall it really is."

She roared and slammed her fist into the wall, which exploded into dust. The ground shook underneath us, but she seemed unaffected by it. She looked into the room, turned around, and walked over to Vex's body. She grabbed Vex's sword and said, "I'll be using this now."

Asger waved me forward. "Come on, we have to go in first."

I nodded and charged in front of him as we charged into the room. He grabbed me, pulled me back and yelled, "FUS!" Hundreds of arrows that had been flying toward me halted and were blasted backwards. "WULD!" He disappeared, reappearing on the other side of the guild, a sword in one hand, a flaming dagger in the other. "IISS!" He breathed as he spun himself around. Several thieves that had approached him were frozen on sight.

I charged in, taking notice to some archers taking aim at me. They released their arrows and I casually moved my head or my arm out of the way. Dodging arrows wasn't hard and it didn't require much effort. As I came closer, I reached down and unsheathed my newest addition to my arsenal: my throwing daggers. I had five on each leg. My bow was great and all, but I needed something faster and for more close-range long-range combat. The bow was only good for sniping, not indoor fighting like this.

I unleashed my first throwing dagger at an Argonian taking aim. My dagger found a good spot in his left knee. He hissed as his knee crumpled and he released his arrow off target. The arrow flew into his buddy's knee, who cried out in pain. I saw three more targets, grabbed three more knives, saw more archers pulling arrows back, and dropped to a slide, throwing myself backwards as arrows flew just passed my head. My armored knees scrapped across the stone floor, but I caught a crack and was thrown forward. Good thing that didn't happen when the arrows zipped past me, otherwise I'd be in a world of hurt.

I, instead, was pulled forward fast enough that when I released my throw, my knives were almost instantaneously located within the necks of my archers. All three of them cried out in pain as they stumbled back and fell into the indoor pond that was filled with carnivorous slaughterfish. They cried out in more pain as they were eaten alive.

I rose up and saw that Asger was tearing the thieves apart. Then, my eyes darted up and I could see someone dressed in dark armor pulling an arrow back. They were aiming right for him. I did not hesitate. I charged forward, unsheathing one of my throwing daggers. I threw it and it hit the support beam the archer was standing on top of. He looked away just long enough for me to close the distance between me and Asger. The archer released the arrow and I threw myself in front of him, throwing my sword and my shield out to halt the arrow. The arrow did not hit my sword or shield though, it hit my shoulder. And it pierced my under-layer.

I screamed out in pain, which made Asger turn around. He saw the arrow stuck in my shoulder and he looked up. He saw the archer pulling back another arrow. "You should not have done that." He yelled up at the ceiling. The archer chuckled as he released another arrow, this one flying right for Asger's head. Asger's hand flashed up and grabbed the arrow, only an inch away from his head. He growled and yelled, "No one hurts my friends! YOL!"

A giant ball of fire flew from his mouth up to the ceiling. The archer seemed surprised and was caught in the middle of the blazing fire. I looked up to see him screaming in pain right before he jumped from the roof down into the water. He resurfaced, laughing that he was ok. Then…he started screaming and he disappeared underneath the water again. He must have forgotten about the slaughterfish.

Mjoll walked into the room. She looked around. "This is good, now we just need Mercer to show his face."

"Show my face?" A voice boomed from the door in the back of the room. A door opened up and out came a strong looking Breton. He had two very large swords in both his hands. "Mjoll the Lioness. I've been waiting a long time to kill you."

Asger stood up and formed up beside M'aiq and Mjoll.

Asger was the first to move. "WULD!" He disappeared. Mercer stepped to the side, sticking his foot out. Asger reappeared, tripped on Mercer's foot, and flew through the open door.

Mercer slammed the door shut and grinned. "One down." He waved someone else to approach.

M'aiq hissed as he sprinted in. Brelyna was just now coming into the room, two staffs glowing in her hands. She saw Mercer and unleashed a giant wad of lightning towards him. Mercer smiled some more as he stepped forward, grabbed M'aiq, and showed him into the lightning. M'aiq stuttered for a second before falling to his knees, unconscious.

Brelyna gasped in surprise. "M'aiq? Are you ok?" She asked, completely forgetting about the enemy now going after Mjoll.

I looked at my shoulder, unable to lift my sword because whatever had hit me had a paralyzing agent inside it. I was unable to move at all. I could not even stand, which was bad because my legs were getting sore.

I looked over at Mjoll, who did not look afraid. She and Mercer met face-to-face. She brought her new sword straight up and brought it to Mercer's neck. "Give up and surrender peacefully."

"No." He replied and knocked her sword away from his throat.

She shrugged as she slashed with her sword. Mercer caught the attack with his short sword and grinned. "You swing like a girl."

She seemed surprised at his ability to stop her, and it was that surprise that allowed Mjoll be kneed in the stomach. She had just enough time to cough up blood before she was launched into the air and over to the end of the room. She hit the wall hard enough to put a giant hole behind her. Surprisingly enough, she stayed down. I looked around the room. Were we just beaten here? I looked over at Brelyna, who was the last of us standing.

She was shaking in her boots. She started making hand-signs and said, "I am a Telvanni mage and a powerful one at that. Allow me to show you why." She stood there for a couple seconds. Suddenly, she looked down at her hand, confused.

"Confused, my dear? Magic does not work down here, we have wards posted." He said as he started his way over to her.

She looked down at her staffs and reached down to pick them up. Mercer was faster and stepped on her hand. Brelyna cried out in pain, but her screams were silenced when Mercer put his blade to her throat. "You remind me of my old friend, Karliah."

Brelyna growled. "You leave my sister out of this!" She cried out and was again silenced by Mercer's fist. She crumpled under his fist.

Mercer looked back at me. "Don't worry, you're next."

"No she isn't, I am." Cecilie said as she walked into the room.

Mercer looked back at her with mild surprise. "You, a little child…that is blind? What are you going to do?"

She smiled as she walked up. "Nothing." She said playfully. She had something behind her back.

Mercer chuckled malevolently as he walked up to her, both his swords casually by his side. "What do you have back there?"

She smiled as he bent down to look her in the eye. "Fire salts."

"Fire salts? You think I'm scared of fire salts?"

She nodded. She brought her fist out and blew. Red flakes of fire salt flew from her hand and into Mercer's eyes. He screamed in pain as he reached up to his burning eyes. In that time, Cecilie grabbed Brelyna's staff and aimed it at Mercer's face. He got enough control to open his eyes and see the staff aiming at his face. It did him no good though. Lightning flew through the staff and into his face, not only melting his face and burning off his eyes, but throwing him into the lake of slaughterfish. I can guess you knew what happened next.

Cecilie smiled at me. "Hi, mommy. Can we go now? I'm hungry."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **yes, Cecilie only won because her child-like quality was enough to calm the heart of a cut-throat like Mercer. Well, he was going to raise her like a daughter and teach her the ways of the thief, but I think he can't do that while he's being eaten alive by slaughterfish. Man...I'm hungry now._


	10. Ch 10: The Truth

**Cearbhail:**_ A little time-waster. Lydia is still paralyzed and everyone is still pretty much knocked out. This chapter is called, 'The Truth' for a reason. Truth of a lot of people come out: Cecilie, Lydia, Mjoll, Brelyna and Karliah. Nothing definative, but things are discovered and put out in the open. You'll see._

_Also, someone had some serious beef with the unnecessary killing spree from the last chapter... -_- Well... I think only six people really died. Anyway, it's all a part of a bigger picture. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_I know mommy has a habit of writing in you at the beginning of every chapter in her life. She cannot at the moment because she had no ability to move her body. Yes, she is paralyzed. And I immediately grabbed her diary while she was. She cried at me to stop, but one look at my cute face and she melted. Anyway, so, today, I had waffles and…little strawberries. This morning was a nice surprise of waking up in mommy's lap. We ate breakfast together and then I went on patrol with Mjoll, the nice Nord who only wants her city to be safe. I know her real reasons, even though she keeps them hidden from everyone else. She does not hate the Thieves Guild, only the man running it. She is actually preparing to reopen the Thieves Guild once she has the real owner back in charge._

_Anyway, mommy is about to become daddy's girlfriend. By the end of the day, they'll begin the journal of getting close and falling in love. I just have to push mommy a bit to get her started. After all, daddy's a bit of a…blind person…when it comes to seeing how someone feels about him. So mommy's stoic attitude needs to soften. By tonight, they will kiss! I cannot wait to 'see' it happen._

_By the way, mommy. If you read this, I want you to know that I really love rabbits and would really really really love a pet rabbit. White fur, cute red eyes, and I wanna call her Snowflake._

_Your cute little angel and princess, Princess Cecilie…_

"Ok, how many are still alive?" Mjoll asked as she pulled herself out of the wall. She limped up to me and said, "And why haven't you gotten up yet?"

I attempted a small smile. "My body seems to be paralyzed, but…I can still feel everything." It was true; my body did not feel numb, only it did not respond to my command to move.

"I'm afraid that is a very potent drug you're under." A very soft and angelic voice called from the shadows. I looked over at the entrance that Mjoll blew into the wall and saw a Dunmer with a really pronounced forehead walking into the room. She looked around, shaking her head. "Too much damage if you ask me. Mjoll, I only wanted Brynjolf and the other thieves out of the way before you killed Mercer."

Mjoll smiled. "Oh, hello Karliah. I tried. I told Asger already that I wanted as many thieves alive as he could. So, he went in first and froze plenty of them as he could. Mercer would not come out of his hiding spot until the rest of his buddies were killed, though."

Karliah stopped by the pool, looking at the remains of Mercer. "Well, he got what he deserved. Mercer was a monster and with this guild under his influence, it was sure to get worse. I'm glad that we can finally get back to honorable thieving now."

Mjoll and Karliah shook hands. Mjoll said, "I'm the guard captain now, so I only ask that you don't thieve in Riften. Since you and I have a past, I'll overlook the Thieves Guild if it's under your rule. I know you'll do the right thing."

Karliah looked back at me, her eyes analyzing me. "I think I'll start right now." She walked past Mjoll and said, "That numbing poison in your veins is a common tool for thieves. Unfortunately, it can be fatal. I'll prepare an antidote. Don't worry, you still have hours before it becomes that bad and it only takes a few minutes to brew an antidote."

Cecilie ran up to me and sat down in my lap. She smiled. "Don't worry, mommy. If it was fatal, I would have blinked away, just a lost thought in your head." She said it just loud enough that I was the only one hearing it.

Karliah disappeared from the room, leaving the rest of us alone. Mjoll was going around, hand-wrapping any surviving thieves. I think I was the only one who killed a couple, with the exclusion of Asger killing the assassin. I looked carefully at all of Asger's victims. He must have used his swords to block attacks because none of his victims were dead. He must have pummeled them with the flat of his sword until they passed out. So…why didn't anyone tell me we were on a mercy mission?

The door Asger disappeared in was finally opening up. He walked out, rubbing the top of his head. "That really hurt." He looked over at me and smiled. "Hey, Lydia. Never, and I mean never, wuld at someone. At least not at a murderous cut-throat."

I narrowed my eyes. "Asger…I can't wuld. Only you and the Graybeards can."

He chuckled. "Oh yeah. I forgot." He came by and sat beside me. He looked at Cecilie and said, "Hey, Cec."

Cecilie smiled and said, "I'm used to the nickname, Lilly."

Asger nodded. "Ok, Lilly." He looked up at me and said, "You haven't pulled that arrow out yet. Why?"

"Because I'm paralyzed." I offered him in response.

He looked shocked for a second but then his eyes were covered in tears. He hugged me, pulling me in close. "And you took that arrow for me!"

I sighed. "I am your shield, my Thane." Why was it that I was acting this callous again? I looked down at Cecilie to see her disapproving eyes. And she was frowning too, which I could tell she was forcing herself to do, just to make her point. So, I looked back up, sighed again and cleared my throat. Asger was still holding me close. I did not know why my emotions locked whenever someone tried to get close to me, but I had to change with something. "Thane?"

Asger pulled away. "Lydia…you can call me Asger."

I smiled. "Ok, …Asger? I saw you dancing with that Thieves Guild woman. Do you…want to dance sometime?"

Asger smiled. "Sure. Once you get your feet back."

My legs were cramping up so bad I had to say something. "That reminds me…my legs hurt. Can you straighten them out and please pull out the arrow."

Asger smiled. "Of course." He said, grabbing my legs and pulling them out from under me. It felt so good to have my legs straight. My knees had long locked up and were just now releasing the pain in the form of small cracks. It felt so good. Once he was done with my legs, he looked up at the arrow. He looked at me and said, "Lydia…this may hurt." He grabbed the arrow, waited for me to nod and then…pushed.

He didn't pull the arrow, he pushed it. He pushed it until it cleared the other side of my shoulder. I cried out in pain the entire time. Once it cleared, he snapped the end off, grabbed it by the tip, and pulled it the rest of the way out. Once the arrow was out of my shoulder, I felt some relief, but that was overshadowed by everything else. I fought to control my breathing. I looked up at him and said, "Why? Why did you not just pull it?" I asked through labored breaths.

He smiled weakly. "Pulling an arrow can do more damage than pushing it. The arrow heads are skinny in the front, creating small damage, while the wider sides push more meat. If I were just to pull the arrow back, the wide sides would snag whatever it could and pull something. No, it was must easier and less troubling to just push the arrow through, although you may have a splinter in there, but I checked after I snapped the tip. No worries on that side."

I chuckled as I tried to shake my head. "What kind of housecarl am I? It seems like you don't really need my help at all. I'm just getting in the way."

Asger looked offended. "What? That's not true. You just took a deadly arrow for me. And you kept M'aiq and me from getting off track, not to mention all the times you've reminded me about my appointments. You also kept that dragon busy while I healed Hadvar. You've done plenty to earn your place as my housecarl, among other things. Besides…" He pulled me in for a tight hug. "you're my friend. I can't just get rid of you."

"I wish I could be more than just a friend." I managed to choke out. And, as soon as I said it, I felt cold shivers run down my spine. Did…did I just say that out loud?

Asger pulled me away. "Really?" When he looked me in the eye, he smiled. "Ok, I'm fine with that." He pulled me in, locking my lips in a sweet kiss. My entire body seemed to tighten up and then relax. It was pure bliss.

Karliah walked back into the room, carrying her potion with her. "I warn you…this stuff tastes…" She saw me and Asger and she threw her head around. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to interrupt."

As soon as Asger finished, I said, "It's ok. So, this potion?"

Karliah turned around again. "Ok… well, this potion tastes like a rotten skeever that rolled around a garlic patch and then took a dump and rolled around in it as well."

"Great…" I offered as my response.

Karliah smiled warm-heartedly as she bent down and started pouring the potion on my mouth. Then she clamped my mouth shut and lifted the whole bottle up. "Just swallow. Just keep swallowing."

I tried my best, but I kept trying to gag it up. Well, that was my response anyway. With nowhere to go, the potion just seemed to loll around inside my mouth, the nasty taste only collecting. My eyes were tearing up, but Karliah continued to hold my mouth firmly shut, her eyes nothing but sweet and understanding. Finally, the need to breathe won out and I managed to drain the entire liquid down my throat. It gave me just enough time to breathe through my nose and clear my lungs out.

Karliah released the bottle and my mouth. "It will take a while to take effect, so we'll have to wait here until you get your strength back."

I heard Brelyna groan as she rubbed the top of her head. "I sure hope I'm not dead…" She said as she looked up at us. I saw her eyes fall to Karliah and I saw Karliah turn to face Brelyna.

"Sister…" Karliah started.

Brelyna raised her hand to stop her. "No…just…not today. We'll talk later."

Karliah started walking towards her. "We're going to be here a while…if you feel like chatting."

Brelyna looked over at Asger. "Arch-Mage, I'll be outside." She bowed and turned away.

Karliah screamed after her, "It wasn't my fault! Sister, it wasn't my fault."

Brelyna paused by the hole and looked back. She didn't say anything, she just turned back around and walked through the hole.

M'aiq started to wake up, grabbing his head in pain. He shook his head and said, "That was probably the third worst electric shock I've ever gone through."

I looked over at M'aiq and nodded. "Oh, M'aiq. You're awake. Guess what…"

Asger rushed up to me, hugging me tight. "Lydia's my girlfriend!" He smiled.

I looked over at Cecilie, who was smiling so brightly that she couldn't contain herself. She turned around, walking over to a bed. She stretched out on the bed and yawned. "My job is 1/10 done. Yay…"

M'aiq and I both looked over at her, both of us smiling. Asger just looked confused. But it wasn't the confusion that said that he didn't follow anything. Instead, it was a knowing look that said that he wanted to know something. He looked at me, M'aiq, and then at Cecilie. He looked back over at me. "There is something the three of you aren't telling me. What is it? And don't lie, I'm good at reading eyes."

I swallowed and looked over at Cecilie. She looked up at me and nodded. "Yes, mommy. It's time he knows."

I looked over at Asger and allowed a giant groaning moan escape. "Ok fine…it all started with…"

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yay, they're a couple now... and that has probably just been ruined by a secret being held back by Lydia. Well, we'll see. He is a pretty understanding person when he isn't mindlessly killing innocent thieves who've been under the iron fist of a murderous bastard who killed his own leader just to take over.._


	11. Ch 11: Pancakes!

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, this scene is a little underprivilaged in my opinion. I could have done better, but after two finals...I'm burned. One was in Russian, the other, a paper I had to turn in. so, to get the joke, understand that what I wanted towards the end was the whole epic diolouge being...skipped over. The main character is too busy focusing on something else to know that something important has just happened. Ok, just letting you know._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, I guess it's all out in the open now. Cecilie has openly told Asger everything and then he requested to read my journal to see what I was thinking during my time knowing what I know. After he read my journal, he just went to a corner and sat there. I was still paralyzed so I couldn't move. After a few minutes, he walked back over to Cecilie and asked one question: Why did you tell me earlier?_

_She smiled and said, "Because I didn't see myself telling you until today. If I want everything to play out perfectly, I have to do it now."_

_My little girl is one awesome little girl. Good thing Asger does not do pouty very well. After he got her reply, he just shrugged. He said, "Ok, so what happens now?"_

_Cecilie giggled. "I can't tell you. The rest is for you two to figure out…for now."_

_(Sigh) My daughter is also very mischievous. But I guess she can't force us to fall in love. As much as she might want to get us married and me getting pregnant with her, these things take time. It has to eventually happen, because she wouldn't exist if we didn't eventually hook up at least once. The marriage thing is just a formality for her sake. Bastard children aren't really welcome in our society, so there is something about her birth that means something important. She still won't tell us why her birth is important. Apparently in my journal she stated that she was a princess, Asger showed me himself. I don't know what to make of that. Neither does Asger._

_Well, that's all for now._

_Lydia…._

Asger closed my journal and looked over at me. He nodded, "I wrote it down."

I smiled back. "Thanks. I can walk now, but holding a quill is just…still awkward."

Walking, yes. I could walk, I could swing a sword, but the finer points of holding a quill and making all the accurate muscle twitches that went into actually writing escaped me. The quill is mightier than the sword? Not if you can't write with it.

Asger the whole time we were walking spent every six minutes or so to look back at Cecilie and re-ask all his previous questions. He was starting all over again.

"Ok, so…you're my daughter?" He asked.

Cecilie nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"And…Lydia…is your mother?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And…she's my wife?"

"I do not know that." She would respond sadly. She looked him in the eye this time. "I wish her to be. It is important to our nation."

This was the question that always got Asger riled up. "Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"My social standing."

"What social standing?"

"I cannot say. I might risk ruining your future."

That was the part that kept infuriating Asger. "Ok, so it's ok that I know that you're my daughter, some princess. It's ok that I know that Lydia and I have a child in three years, but it is not ok that I know what your social standing is? Only that I am married to Lydia?"

Cecilie nodded. "Mm-hmm."

Now it was Asger's turn to sigh and turn around again, putting his hands behind his head and getting lost in his thoughts. I would like to point out that in all of this, he has not been angry. He has just had a hard time grasping the situation and seems to be overly excited/confused.

He turned around one last time. "Not that I'm protesting, but why the marriage?"

She finally sighed. "I want to know if I'm a bastard child. If I am…I am not able to have certain…privileges. You are right…I am a princess, you are a High King…if I am not legally your child via marriage…I am not a legal princess. I cannot use my role to save our kingdom from the Thalmor."

Asger nodded. "Thanks, that means a lot. Now at least I can connect some dots and figure this out."

Cecilie smiled. "It will do no good. It is best that you forget it and just live. I will make sure everything works out."

We were currently walking down the warrens. Cecilie walked patiently behind us, keeping quiet. She was still upset that Asger did not take too quickly to the news that he was a father. She already knew what was going to happen, so I don't know if something went differently, or if knowing something still made it just as painful when you did it.

As we came up to a lone door, Cecilie brought her hand up and caught the doorknob. She shook her head. "It's a trap. Someone has to open it, but that person is going to die."

Mjoll smiled. "I already did my duty to this town. I will do it."

M'aiq walked up behind Mjoll and stabbed her in the neck with one of his talons. She moaned for a second before passing out. He pulled her back and said, "This one has lived a good life. He will do it."

Cecilie smiled. "I know." She motioned everyone else back and said, "We cannot stand too close."

As M'aiq started to pull the door, Asger walked up and grabbed M'aiq. He pulled him back, "What is the matter with you? You can't just take one of the team. Here…watch this."

"YOL…TOOR!" Asger Shouted. Fire lanced out of his mouth, overwhelming the door. The door shattered away, the trap behind it falling down to the floor, now completely useless. Asger turned to Cecilie and said, "Life is not predetermined. No one has to die, ever."

She smiled. "I know."

Asger just glared at her for a second before walking into the room. As soon as he did, he ran back into the hallway. "Watch out!"

Fireballs, streaks of lightning, and frost pelted the doorway. I did not let up. Asger stood there, wide-eyed. He was too busy catching his breath.

Brelyna sighed as she came forward. "Ok…time to do my thing."

She made a hand-sign and cupped her hand. "I summon thee, Fiora!"

She launched the tiny orb of swirling black/purple magic. The orb ventured of the doorway and I heard something pop. Then it was replaced by the sounds of gasps. Then, I heard yelling, spells launching, things breaking, and then…silence. Some Thalmor seemed to be celebrating, but their cheers of excitement were replaced by a loud explosion. I could see at giant mushroom of fire rise up to our level. The cheering Thalmor were now crying out in pain.

Asger smiled. "Fiora, your Flame Atronach?"

Brelyna nodded. "Yes, I thought she'd at least slow them down." She smiled. "It sounds like she was able to handle them, though."

So, we started to move downstairs. I could see the few bodies of Thalmor agents lining the floors. We were starting our way through the maze when Cecilie only sighed. She jumped down from the top floor, down to the second floor, and then down to the bottom floor. She waved us to follow. "You don't always have to follow the path if a shortcut can get you there faster."

So, we hopped down, surprised that we managed to escape a few minutes of trap dodging and other things.

Since we were only a few minutes away from finding Esbern, I decided to take this time to snuggle up to Asger. "So…" I started. "Have you forgiven me?"

He glanced over at me and forced a small smile. "I'm not sure yet. I am a little disappointed that you would hold something so big from me. I can understand the reason behind it."

"Because I told her to." Cecilie called from the front. She stopped and pointed at a door. "There, he's behind that door."

So, Asger started walking up to the door. He knocked and looked over at me. "But seriously, did you think that I was not going to find out eventually?"

An eye-slit built into the door opened up. "Who is it? What do you want?" Esbern said through the little eye-slit. "I don't want any company."

"Well, it's not like I would have beilieved you if you told me." I answered back.

He nodded. "Point given."

"Seriously, get away from my door!" Esbern warned.

Asger sighed. He looked over at Esbern and said, "30th of Frostfall, remember it! Delphine wants to talk to you." He looked over at me. "But it would still be something I would have told you. I mean…we have a child? And you thought that then you had to get me to love you because of that?"

The door opened up, "Get in…before the Thalmor find you."

Asger scoffed. "Yeah…that hasn't already happened."

His sudden shift in attitude surprised me. He was usually a playful person but now he was just being a pouty man. I wondered how long this new him would last.

Almost everyone clambered into the room, but after seeing that he and I were going to continue arguing, most of them lingered in the back. The only people who followed us in were Brelyna (escaping her sister), and Cecilie, who wanted to hear everything.

Esbern looked over at us. "What brings you here?"

Asger looked at him. "I'm Dragonborn, some dragon is bringing other dragons to life, Delphine misses you, and the Thalmor know you're here." He looked over at me. "Do you have anything else to tell me? Do you have a twin sister who just happens to be evil?"

I shrugged at that question. I tried to smile the best I could. "No…but I have a kid cousin who's a spoiled brat."

"Dragonborn, huh? Well, it so happens I know a great deal about why everything is happening the way it is. Seriously, I could blow you mind with my knowledge of lore and all the research I've done." Esbern said as he grabbed a book. "This will be exciting. I haven't gotten to talk to anyone in years."

"Yeah, yeah." Asger waved him away. "Talk to the Dunmer mage…or the tiny blind girl. They'll keep record of everything you say. Honestly, I'm just here to get you out of here and back to Delphine. I don't need to be burdened with all this stuff." He looked back at me. "Ok, so no more secrets then?"

I looked over at Esbern, who was now sitting down to a cup of tea as he talked to both Cecilie and Brelyna. I kept a side-ear on their conversation just so I know a bit of what the heck was going on. I arrived way too late to this party. I had no idea what Esbern was, what he did, or anything.

I shrugged. "I'm a woman…I will always have secrets."

My ear drifted over to Esbern. "…then the Dragonborn started to fight back against the dragons…"

Asger nodded. He finally smiled. "Ok, I'm fine with that." He kissed me on the forehead. He hugged me to him. "I'm glad to have you here."

"Oh…this scar? You see it happened back during our first fight with the Thalmor. You see at that time…" Esbern was saying, showing off a scar on his stomach.

"So, how did you take all this information when you first heard it?" Asger asked me.

I turned my attention back to Asger and shrugged. "I guess like any normal person. I…just accepted it. She is a seer."

"And that is my theory as to why the Dragons are coming back. The end of…"

"Pancakes!" Asger said, slamming his fist into his hand. "That's what I wanted for breakfast." He shook his head in disbelief. "Man, that has been bothering me for hours."

I nodded, looking over at Esbern. "There, everything you could possibly want to know about the current affairs involving dragons, Thalmor, Dragonborns, and the disappearance of the Blades.

I sighed in defeat. I just missed everything! I was still in the dark.

Asger hugged me close. "I'm glad I have you to talk to." He looked over at Esbern. "Pack your things. We're leaving."

Esbern smiled. "Sure thing, I've briefed your friends over here about everything."

Yeah…everyone but me.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yay... they're still a couple. The full truth about Cecilie is out in the open...although she's still leaving out a major detail that she just refuses to let go of. Why would a ten year old princess need to fight the Thalmor? What on Nirn happened to the High King? If you have questions, they will eventually be answered, and in some stories, it already has been. Well, that will be changing now that I'm connecting the Shoutmen to this story._


	12. Ch 12: Who is this?

**Cearbhail:**_ Time to introduce a new character, one that will actually stick around for a while. Maybe at least. She has no name, no real background that will ever be openly discussed, and does not know anything about who she is or what she is... but, even so, she's still a sterotypical Khajiit, except that she does not use third person perspective._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The way back was harder than the way down. More Thalmor got in our way, we had this epic fight that resulted with Karliah throwing herself in front of her sister, taking a sword to her lower abdomen. She's fine, just…a little bandaged up. Regardless, they're having their talk now. I feel that is probably the only thing Brelyna can do for her at the moment. Just be there and talk to her as she slowly recovers. Magic was working just fine on her, but the assassin that attacked her was using a type of poisoned blade. That poison seems to nullify Restoration magic, making it useless. Go figure, right?_

_So anyway, now that Esbern is out of the Ratway and with us, Brelyna has decided to stay back with her sister while she recovers. Hadvar has orders to be somewhere else, Whiterun actually. He requests that we make our way down there to help the Empire settle this war. Asger replied that he wouldn't make any promises. He still has to deliver Esbern to Delphine before something happens._

_Cecilie signed her resignation from the Legion, stating that she wanted to stay with us. Legate Rikke understood, being filled in on every little detail about the past day. Cecilie did say that the war would end in Whiterun, though. She said it through her thick smile, so whatever happens, it has my daughter excited._

_As for M'aiq, he's staying here in Riften with Mjoll. He feels that he can actually do more good here with her, then with us. I will be sad to see him go, but happy that I get this time to sit down with Asger alone again. Well, not completely alone. We do have our daughter and Esbern. It's like a small family. The mother, father, daughter, and old creepy man who stares at my chest. Can't blame him, he's been isolated for a few…ten years or so. I can let it slide…as long as he keeps his words about my body to himself._

_Lydia…_

I closed by journal, happy that I could write again. It was now the second morning of our journey back to well…Asger said we were going to Riverwood to drop off Esbern, but with how's been not taking us down a road that leads to Riverwood, I can't believe that we're heading in the right direction at all. It seems like we're heading north, not west. I mean, you can see High Hrothgar in the distance and it's behind us now on our left sides. If anything, we could have just walked towards that mountain and found our way to someplace closer to Riverwood than we were right now.

I looked over at Asger. He was sleeping soundly, Cecilie wrapped up in his arms. It was cute seeing them sleeping together. Esbern was already awake, collecting berries for us to eat. It was my job to hunt for a deer but since I couldn't find any, I came back with a rabbit instead. I already knew it would not be enough, so I would have to go out again. If anything, I would need four rabbits just to make this a good breakfast.

Looking up at the sky, I was surprised that there was no snow in the past two days. We are in Skyrim after all. It always snows. Well, at least the ground that we slept on during the night was a discarded cave. We checked before sleeping and there was nothing inside. Plenty of discarded gold, though. Which we helped ourselves to. I thought that maybe someone lived here, but there was no bedroll, just some hay piled up in the corner of the cave. There were no clothes, no food. It was just an empty cave…with gold inside it.

Something about that seems wrong. Was this a bandit looting spot? I could only wonder. I shook my head. I sat back down to stripping my rabbit, preparing the meat to be cast into the pot of boiling water sitting in front of me. The only reason any of us was warm was because of the fire we're cooking with.

Oh…I forgot. I'm cooking stew. Yeah, forgot about that detail. Anyway, a few more pieces of rabbits and I'm sure that we will have a good enough breakfast to make up for the long hike ahead of us. The sky smells like snow, which means we might have a blizzard on our hands today.

I heard footsteps walking into the cave. I turned around and gently called out, "Esbern, welcome back. Find any good berries?"

"Why are you in my cave?" A high-pitched scratchy voice called from the shadows.

It was enough to make me jump up and grab my sword. I spun around and pointed my sword straight out. There, just starting to walk into the cave was a Khajiit cub, female, with a dead deer hanging from her clamped mouth.

She dropped the deer and sniffed the air. "Are you making food?" She asked.

I started to lower my sword. "Uh…yes?" I looked down at her deer. "I can cook that deer you have, if you want."

Her face lit up and she grabbed the deer. She started dragging it, with a lot of effort thrown behind it, over to me. She dropped it next to my feet and then fell onto her butt. She lied down, breathing frantically. "I'm so tired." She cried out before falling asleep.

I just looked down at her for a second. It was a cub alright. She like she was a little older than Cecilie, maybe by a year or two. She was wearing nothing but some old bloodstained deer hide leather that had been fashioned into a makeshift dress by the use of some discarded rope. Her fur was filthy, her arms and legs looked completely barren. It looked like she was on the brink of death.

In fact, I would have guessed that she was dead if it weren't for her high-pitched snoring. Khajiits with their snoring…it's annoying. M'aiq snored too.

I bent down grabbed her deer and inspected it. No swords, no arrows. The only thing that damaged this deer were some claw marks starting from the rump up to the neck. This Khajiit must have worked very hard to kill this thing.

I started cleaning the deer and by cleaning I mean preparing to eat. Once I had all the innards out, I selected some of the innards we would be cooking. I looked down at the Khajiit. This was her kill, most likely her meal…so could I use any of this at all? Well, I did promise that I would cook it. So, this deer would just go bad if I didn't.

"Sword down, I'm back." Esbern called as he walked into the cave. He had a small basket filled with various snowberries. He saw the fatigued Khajiit lying on the cave floor. He pointed to her and said, "Well…I see hunting went very well. Have you cleaned her? She looks very filthy, don't forget to skin her."

I gave him a shocked and disgusted face. It was probably the only reaction I've allowed myself to express. I looked down at the unconscious Khajiit said, "You think I'd kill an innocent kitten? I'm not a monster, you know." I pointed to the deer and said, "Besides, she brought us breakfast. I could only find the rabbit, she found that deer."

Esbern readjusted his glasses before he leaned down to examine the deer. "Hmm…these marks on the rear are a day old. The marks leading up are recent." He shifted his stance, his knees popping with the effort. "I'd say that she's been hunting this thing for at least a day. I wonder if she had to drag it all the way back." He looked down at the unconscious Khajiit. "The thing's so skinny, I'd say that she's on the brink of starvation." He inspected the face, "Looks dehydrated too."

He turned back to me. "So, how's preparing our breakfast going?"

I shrugged. It was going fine. I had pulled out all of the organs; put them in a special pile, just in case our unexpected guest wanted to eat some of them later. Heck, I don't know what Khajiits eat. The only ones I've ever seen are the Khajiits from the caravans and M'aiq. That was it. In fact, I'd never seen a cub before.

The rest of the deer, the meat from the legs and chest, had been put onto a flat piece of iron to cook over the fire. I put some into the stew, like I had with the rabbit meat. Esbern was now dumping the berries into the pot as well. A beautiful smell was starting to waft up from the pot, making my stomach grumble. The smell also made Asger wake up as well.

He shifted in his bed, taking a sniff of the air. "Man, that smells good." He said as he rose from his cot. He looked over at me and smiled. "Morning, Lydia." He nodded to Esbern, "Hey old man."

Esbern waved to him, acknowledging him while he continued to sit over the Khajiit. I think he was checking a pulse. "Morning, Dragonborn. Did you know that we have a new guest?"

Asger rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. "Again? What is it this time? A troll, an Argonian…no wait…one of those Redguards looking for that woman?" He asked as he rolled out of his bed. Cecilie started waking up as well, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

Esbern shook his head. "Nope, this is definitely none of the above. It's a Khajiit. Weird, they don't come to Skyrim very often. Too cold for them, even though they're covered in fur."

Asger yawned as he walked up to Esbern. "Oh yeah, look at that. She kinda reminds me of J'sargo. I wonder if this is his sister or something." He said, rubbing his chin.

I shrugged and went back to stirring the stew. I hated when he mentioned people that I did not know about. J'sargo sounded like a Khajiit name so I'm guessing there was at least one more that I did not know about. I flipped the racks of deer meat. They were almost done. I looked over at Esbern and said, "You think we should wake her? Breakfast is almost done cooking."

Esbern shrugged. "We can try."

Cecilie walked up, rubbing her eyes and dragging a blanket behind her. She looked down at the unconscious Khajiit. She yawned, "Oh…it's her." She walked past the Khajiit and sat down next to me.

I smiled at her. "Oh? You know who she is? Does she have something to do with your future?"

Cecilie shrugged. "Not sure, I haven't seen anything about her. Don't really care, honestly. I saw her during my time with the Imperial Legion while I've been back here. She was in some cage. I think she was being smuggled over to Morrowind. To be a slave, I think." She shrugged again. "I don't know, she didn't talk much. She was our prisoner for maybe a day, but she managed to escape. That was almost a week ago, I think."

Asger sighed. He looked down at the Khajiit, who was still snoring lightly. He looked around. "Is there a stick around that I can poke her with? Better yet…a string with a skeever on the end of it? I think I could get some entertainment from this."

Esbern shook his head. "So, what are we going to do? Are we going to leave her here or take her with us?"

"Whoa…" I started. "We're talking about keeping her already? We don't know anything about this cub. Why don't we wait for her to wake up before we come to come conclusion?" I looked down at the unconscious Khajiit, who just now was turning onto her side. At least she was still alive.

Esbern sighed. "Because we don't know how long she'll be out cold. Like I said earlier, it appeared that she was hunting this deer for at least one day. Not to mention how dead her body looks. She'll probably be out for at least eight hours."

I looked at the cooking meat and took in the smell. It was glorious. "Not if she was starving. Is she is…" I said, taking a small piece of deer leg. I placed it over her nose and waved it around. "If she is starving, chances are…"

The Khajiit's eyes snapped open. She saw the deer meat wafting in front of her nose. She practically jumped up, snatched it with her teeth. I don't think she bothered chewing her food. I think she just swallowed it.

I had to let go of the meat instantly upon her jumping. She would have taken my fingers off. I looked over at Esbern. "See, she's awake. Now…let's eat."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Ok, next chapter will be very soon. Probably done by today._


	13. Ch 13: Dawnstar

**Cearbhail:**_ Wow...a short chapter, even by my standards. I'll try to make them longer again. I'm probably starting to skip out on detail. It's that's true...please let me know. Details in a story is what makes it a virtual story. Anyway, somehow, by trying to go to Riverwood, they ended up in Dawnstar...yeah..._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Have you ever met a Khajiit that does not talk in the third person? I have. After a roaring breakfast, we all crowded around her and asked her who she was. After maybe ten minutes of asking, the only thing we knew was that she was in fact a Khajiit and a girl. She has no idea who she is, what her name is, or anything actually. She said that she grew up in a cage with dark-skinned people always around her._

_Anyway, once our breakfast was done, we started to make our way to Riverwood. Well, probably just as good as we were earlier. We're still lost. Somehow, we ended up in Dawnstar. It was so bad that when we asked where we were, someone looked at us like we were idiots. "You're in Dawnstar, a hold capital."_

_Asger shrugged. "Oh well, we've been taking the wrong road then." Jeez, it never ceases to amaze me. Dawnstar is not even close to Riverwood. Cecilie isn't too unhappy about it though. Although, she hates all the walking we do. After all, she's still pretty young and it takes more energy for her to keep up with us._

_Oh, there is one more thing I forgot to mention. All this time, we decided to leave the Khajiit to her own vices, but…she's been following us. No one minds, but every time we mention it, she says something else._

_Lydia…._

_…_

Asger turned around, looking back at the Khajiit following us again. "You know…you could join us."

The Khajiit just sprinted from his eyesight, hiding behind a building.

Asger just chuckled. "It never gets old." He looked over at me. "Can we keep her?"

I shrugged. "She's not a pet! But I'm sure if you get a squeaky toy you'd get her close enough to put a leash on."

Esbern sighed with annoyance. "Cat's don't come to squeaky toys…dogs do. Cats come when you don't want them to and run when you approach them. So, honestly…she's a perfect cat." He looked over at the building where the Khajiit was now peeking out from around. "I'm sure if you put out something for her to eat and then walked away, she'd come closer to inspect the food."

Cecilie sighed with exhaustion. "What I don't get is why she continues this game. She knows we won't hurt her."

Asger smiled to that. "I know that reason. Cages. She doesn't want to be caged."

Esbern waved her off. "Well, we can't worry about her right now. Let's see about getting a map and finding a road that will lead to Riverwood. I'm sure Delphine is worried."

Asger scoffed. "Yeah, she seems like the worrying type." He said sarcastically.

Regardless, we found ourselves going into a tavern. There were always maps to be scanned and copied inside. We had to draw one ourselves by tracing the roads and holds. Lucky for use, we had some charcoal and a roll of paper. Scratching a new map would be too easy.

While Esbern worked on the map, I was busy looking around at the patrons. They looked tired, exhausted. I nudged Asger, who turned to look over at me. "Yes, Lydia?"

I motioned the people around town. "Take a good look at everyone. Don't they look…"

Asger started looking around. His green eyes darted from one person to the next. I guess I never really noticed his emerald colored eyes before. His light brown hair seemed so golden today. Maybe it was the candlelight we were sitting next to.

Finally, his eyes drifted over everyone in the room. "Jeez, did we just miss a funeral?" He looked over at me. "It looks like everyone in this room hasn't slept in over a week."

"It's because they haven't." A Dunmer wrapped in the golden robes of a priest said as he walked up.

Esbern looked over from the map he was drawing. "What do you mean?"

The Dunmer smiled. "It's very simple, really. You see…someone has desecrated an unholy sight. The ruin on top of the mountain that overlooks the city. Ever since then, people here have been having nightmares, nightmares that leave them feeling drained and soulless."

I looked over at Asger, who looked intrigued. "Ok…and?"

The priest shrugged. "I just get a feeling from Mara that…I should bring it up to you."

Asger rubbed the top of his head. "Ok?"

The priest made a face that struggled with losing his cool. "And…you three look like capable warriors…."

Asger nodded, patting his tiny, which were supposedly lean, arms. "Yeah, we are." He said, almost boasting. He was smiling now. He just got his compliment for the day.

I sat there, chuckling to myself. I could ruin the moment and tell Asger what was going on, since he looked so lost that he couldn't begin to understand the situation we were being presented with. I just wanted to see how long it would take him to figure out that our new Dunmer friend was asking us to join him.

The priest waved to himself. "And I alone…am no match for the unholy demons that probably await me inside."

Asger sighed. "That's probably true. That sucks, man."

Esbern finally exhaled in frustration and put down his piece of charcoal. "By the Gods, Dragonborn…are you really that dense? He's asking for help."

Asger's eyes went wide. He pointed at himself and said, "Us? You want our help?"

The Dunmer sighed in annoyance. "You won't make this easy…will you?"

Asger stood up and looked around. He seemed to be taking in all the worn-down expressionless faces of the patrons who hadn't slept in what looked like ages. Asger threw his arms up and said, "We'll do anything to help. Just point us in the right direction."

Our Dunmer priest exhaled a bit of a relief before turning his head up to the skies. "Thank you, Mara…for giving me the patience and the strength to weather through this conversation…"

…

We met up outside, after Esbern had finished drawing our new map. He looked over at me and said, "Lydia, I want you to hold onto this. Try not to get it wet."

I nodded. "Sure thing, boss." I took the map from him and slid it into one of my pouches.

Esbern grumbled out a response to me calling him boss and started walking beside Dunmer. I was behind Asger, who was walking by himself. He looked like he was listening to the Dunmer talk about what they were going to go through, but after I saw him pull out his flute and start playing, I thought better of it. He really does not seem like the type to actively care about what it is he's doing, only as long as he's doing something.

I was walking beside Cecilie, who wouldn't be left behind at Dawnstar. She insisted that she had to come. I don't know why she insists on coming everywhere, but apparently she has a plan of some sort.

The trek up the mountain was a long one. We encountered wolves, some bears, one nasty looking ice wraith, and…a few bandits. It was nothing we couldn't handle. Still, I feel sort of inadequate in combat, though. I'm not a mage like my daughter. I'm not a battlemage like Esbern. I'm not Dragonborn like Asger…and I'm not…whatever our Dunmer is.

After a few minutes of walking, Asger finally asked the question I had been wondering about for a while. "So, what's your name anyway?"

He looked back at us. "Oh? I'm Erandur."

"Erandur?" Cecilie's face lit up. She looked over at Erandur's face and her eyes dulled down to nothing. "Oh…you're not an Altmer. I bet you're not even a Battlemage!" She said with a pouty face, crossing her arms and looking away.

I became curious for a second, but my curiosity was distracted by Erandur saying, "We're here."

I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the massive building that lied in front of us.

Erandur turned to us and said, "Before we enter, I must warn you of the dangers that lurk within. Behind these walls you'll see many horrors. The Daedra Lord Vermina is the ruler of this temple: the Nightcaller Temple. Inside are sleeping bandits who've had their dreams feasted on for years and only since recently has Vermina started plaguing the town of Dawnstar. If you do not steel your mind, Vermina will steal it from you."

Cecilie looked over at me and said, "Mother…I think I'll head back down to Dawnstar after all."

I nodded. "Ok, dear. Be careful and don't go out after sun-fall."

She looked over at me. "You're telling your eleven year old girl who's blind…to be careful walking down a snowy mountain that lies on the precipice of a Daedric Temple that has been stealing the dreams of everyone in town…and all you ask is that I don't go out at night?"

We stood there for a second before nodding. "Yes..."

She nodded. "Ok…by the way, that Khajiit's been following us again."

I looked to where she was pointing and behind the tree I could see the Khajiit cub watching us. She was standing behind a skinny wimpy tree. Once she noticed I was looking at her, she tried to disappear behind it, which…almost worked. She was just as skinny.

I tapped Asger on the shoulder. "See that…she's still following us."

Esbern turned and squinted his eyes. "Oh I'll be…I thought she would have stayed in town."

"HEY, KHAJIIT!" Asger called out. "JUST GET IT OVER WITH. COME OVER HERE!"

She shook her head. "No…" She called back, her high-pitched voice hurting in my ears.

Asger shrugged. "Oh well, I tried."

Erandur called us to look over at him. "Like I said, be careful once inside. Things may be as they seem."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: So, they're on their way to neverneverland. Where dreams die and nightmares come true. Ah, such a magical place.._


	14. Ch 14: WAKE UP!

**Cearbhail:**_ I really liked this chapter. I will not spoil it. I will not._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I cannot believe it's been a year already._

_You'd think that marrying Asger would have been a bit of a journey but boy…has it been a journey. I think we've been a part of every major guild with the exclusion of the Dark Brotherhood. Oh wait…yeah we did work for them for a second or two. Nothing major just…helped a few assassins escape from prison. Yeah, it happened._

_Cecilie is happily returning to her time, now that Asger and I are married and now that I'm 3 months along. Since she hadn't vanished, she figured her job was done and she could go home. Today is Asger and I are going on a short vacation. We just want to get away from all the drama and people asking for favors. I'm sure one of our so many strong fighting friends can handle Skyrim's safety for one week. I am so excited to get away for a while._

_Lydia.._

_…_

I closed my journal. Riding in a carriage felt nice for once. We usually got around by walking. During all those times we'd run into bandits, hundreds of wolves. If you could think of it, we ran into in.

I was looking out one of the windows to the carriage. The mountains looked beautiful this time of year. It was what passed for spring in Skyrim. The ground was only covered in 36 inches of snow, instead of the normal 120 inches.

I felt the nice cold breeze brush across my skin. It was perfect. The sky was clear and yet there was still a small flurry that seemed to just drop from the sky with a light breeze carrying it. It was almost like having a constant mist blow on your face.

Asger was sitting back, taking in the air as well. It had been a long time since the two of us had a chance to just…relax. Our carriage was heading towards Cyrodiil, to Asger's hometown: Anvil. We were going to spend our vacation out next to the beach of Anvil. Maybe take a trip up to the lighthouse. Heck, we were planning on going up to Aldmeri City, to watch the arena. One of our old friends was a real contender and she wanted us to go watch her. Mjoll had a good role as an arena champion. You know, once she was captured by the Thalmor and taken back to Aldmeri City to fight for her life. After 100 wins she was supposed to win her freedom. I bet you can guess what really happens after 100 wins. She dies. That's how she wins her freedom.

I had never been down to Cyrodiil and couldn't believe that I was being able to go down. Just being able to leave Whiterun was something, now I'm leaving my own country. How many native-born Nords the past few years can say that they've been down to Anvil, or Aldmeri City? Probably a lot, but none in my family. Well, except for my husband at least. Oh wait…he's not a native-born. That's right, he's a Cyrodiil breed. Oh well…I'll manage somehow.

As a breeze blew over my dress, I started fussing with it again. I just wasn't used to wearing a dress. This was a special dress too; Altmer silk. It was the finest material, always depicted as colorful flowers patterns. Mine was a light blue design with white flowers that just seemed to flow across the dress. Asger was actually the one who picked it out. So, I got it for him. He couldn't take his eyes off of me since. I also had my hair pulled up in a tight bun, which for some reason made him blush deeply. I think it's because it makes my neck look bigger. I'm not sure.

Asger was still staring out the window, lost in his own world. He finally blinked away any image playing in his eyes. He looked over at me and said, "So, ready for the best vacation in the world?"

I nodded. "Yes. We've worked very hard and I'm glad we can take this time to be together." I said, moving myself to sit right next to him.

He smiled. "True, we have been working hard, although I can barely say that the past few days have been as painful as some of the other things we've done. I don't find it hard to WAKE UP, like I did so much in the past."

I looked up at him. The way he talked, the way he acted…it was like he was suddenly a much more mature Asger. I wonder if I ever noticed him change…or if it just happened. Thinking back to all the times I've noticed his demeanor, I could never tell if he was joking or being serious the whole time. It would seem that he was purposely impatient, and slightly non-cognitive to other people around him. He seemed to exist in his little bubble, playing his instrument, or making playful banter with anyone around him. But even if for one second he saw something he thought was wrong or immoral, he would suddenly become this stronger, more determined person who would punch through a mountain if it meant completing his goal.

It was the combination of these two things that made me fall in love with him. The two sides of Asger: Go-with-the-flow Asger and I-believe-in-this Asger. Staring at the Asger in front of me, his bright emerald eyes glittering with the sunset casting a spell over them, was not at all any of the Asgers I've come to know and love. He was both of them combined. He looked playful but mature and confident. It just made me love him more. So, I leaned in, grabbed him by the back of his head, and pulled him in for a kiss.

A few hours passed by and we found ourselves exhausted. It was time we took a break. The carriage itself felt overheated and I needed to get out for a bit, just to let the cold air cool me off.

I stepped out of the carriage, after making sure my dress was back on properly and my hair was at least looking manageable. We were halfway to Anvil, stopping in Bruma to take a short break and get something to eat. My poor stomach was hurting. We couldn't do anything past kissing because I'm pregnant and we didn't want to endanger anything. I mean, Cecilie was still fresh in our minds and everything she went through just to make sure she was born could not be wasted just because I'm hormonal.

Asger followed right behind me, surprised at how fast he felt like taking he robes off again. "Jeez, it's so hot here."

"Hot?" A guard asked. "Do you not see all the ice? WAKE UP! This is Bruma! Coldest town in all of Cyrodiil."

Asger smiled. "Yeah…we're from Skyrim." He patted the guard on his shoulder. "But it's ok. I'm sure your thin blood makes for better adjustment to warm weather than ours does." He stepped further in the town. "So, where can we go eat?"

The guard pointed down at the tavern just off to our left. "Right there. They serve really good lamb, just so you know. I go there first thing in the morning to get my coffee. Just what I need in the morning when I need to WAKE UP!"

Lamb? What in Oblivion was a lamb?

I pulled Asger's sleeve. "Um…what's lamb?"

He looked surprised, "You know…sheep."

"Sheep?" I asked, just as confused. I never heard of anything called a…sheep before.

The guard crossed his arms. "It's a four-legged animal covered in wool."

"Oh…" I said. "Like a mammoth?"

The guard looked confused. "What's in Oblivion is a mammoth?"

Asger scratched his head. "No…not like a mammoth…like a goat."

"So, we're eating goat?" I asked.

"NO….it's sheep. It's just small like a goat." Asger said, bringing his hands down to his knees. "They only get this big."

I nodded, now having an image of a dog-sized mammoth being brought up to our table. I had no idea what to expect. So, Asger took my hand and we made our way over to the tavern, the guard still at the entrance scratching his head, "What is a mammoth?"

I looked back at him and smiled. "It's a lot like a sheep, only as tall as your buildings."

He rubbed the top of his head. "Sounds lame!" He said, calling out to me before we settled into the tavern.

…

We had finally sat down and started placing our orders. A Breton had come by, with a quill and parchment to take our orders. She looked over the two of us and said, "What will you be having tonight? The house recommends our Goblin Surprise as tonight's specialty combo. It's a stew mixed with potatoes, carrots, and some deer meat. The main dish is a salad of lettuce, carrots, primrose leaves, with small slices of strawberries. To drink we recommend the Foxglove Mead. It's our special WAKE UP drink, for when you need a good SLAP IN THE FACE. It's a special nectar from the foxglove plant that is known to grow only around the parts of south-eastern Cyrodiil, right near the Nibenay/Blackwood territories. It's imported of course; we can't grow our own in these frigid temperatures."

Some of the words that came out her mouth, like wake up, and slap in the face…they seemed stressed, focused. I had been noticing this for a while now. Everyone kept saying wake up, wake up. Why? I wasn't tired, I wasn't falling asleep. But the words felt like they were directed specifically to me. The waitress seemed to wait on me, looking over at me with her wide smile. Asger smiled just as big as she did.

I looked over at Asger, who looked like he understood everything that was just said. He nodded. "Yeah, all those sound fine. I would also like some mutton for the lady. You see…she's never had sheep before."

The Bretton smiled and bowed to me. "Well, I am happy to serve you your first mutton, on the house."

…

Dinner went by surprisingly fast. I thought that it would not, that I was going to be stuck in my head-spinning adventure of getting lost in all the food I was getting myself into. The foxglove nectar was delicious. I had never tasted anything that tasted so sweet and bitter before. The strawberries, a bright red fruit it seemed, was also tasty and sweet. I never expected to find fruits like this before. What was really surprising was the small flat brown slab of meat that was tossed onto my table. The Breton stood by, her face wide with a smile.

I took a bite of my mutton and almost instantly I was lost in a soft, flaky meat that just melted in my mouth. It was tough at first, but once my mouth stopped caring about the chewing, my taste-buds were taking me on a journey where all I wanted to do was go find a mammoth and eat it. First thing on my agenda when I get back home to Skyrim.

Once dinner was done, Asger and I got back into our carriage and proceeded with our journey to Anvil. All the snow quickly seemed to melt away and was replaced with various colorful flowers. I couldn't help but look at all of them. Even the lakes and rivers looked beautiful.

Asger smiled at my shocked face. "Lydia, you need to WAKE UP and smell the roses. Seriously, WAKE UP." He said.

I sighed and looked out the window. Night had suddenly fallen all around us. It was dark, the carriage was no longer moving. I turned to face Asger, a sudden feeling of dread washing over me. "Asger? Do you know what's happening?"

Asger smiled in his relaxed manner. He opened his mouth and started talking but…there were no words coming out. He continued to talk and talk, as if he didn't notice that he wasn't making sound. Then, the cabin started stretching out, pulling Asger back into a far-away shadow place. I reached out to grab him, but he seemed to ignore anything I tried to do. He just kept talking with that big goofy grin on his face.

"WAKE UP!"

A mental image of someone grabbing onto my shoulders and giving me a hard push and pull filled my mind. It wasn't anyone I recognized, this voice high-pitched and somehow penetrating to my soul. I fought to look around. I was sitting alone in an abandoned carriage.

"WAKE UUUPPP!" The high-pitched call came again.

Slowly, I felt the world around me shatter. I felt myself falling into my body, my head spinning. When I opened my eyes, I saw the filthy Khajiit standing over me. She looked slightly worried but did not express any sign of relief that I was now awake.

I rose up, my head spinning so fast that I thought I was going to lose it. When gravity started having a meaning in my dictionary, I looked around. Everyone was passed out on the ground. I looked up at the ceiling, seeing a pink and green mist hovering over our heads. I felt so light-headed that I thought that I wasn't going to be able to hold on. The Khajiit slipped a ring over my finger and said, "Here…this helps."

The world suddenly stopped. She purred at me and said, "It nullifies poison."

I nodded. "Thanks." I looked at the ring. It was a simple amethyst/silver ring. It must have been enchanted.

She smiled and started slipping the rings over everyone else. "You fed me. We're even."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: So, how many people saw that coming? No, it was not a glimpse of the future, but an overdose on the Miasma gas..._


	15. Ch 15: Khajiit's story

**Cearbhail:**_ A good chapter, I think. Finally give the Khajiit that continually follows them around a name and a role, as well as a very dark past. So, she's a main character now, one I think I'll keep around. A very good pickpoket, among other things that she does: like crystal shamanism. Not to mention the fun I can have with Skyrim's hatred of Khajiits._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_There is something that was bothering me. That dream. Did it have something to do with the future, or was it something else? Either way I'll record my dream so I don't forget it. Asger and I got married one year from now and I was pregnant with Cecilie…I think. Other than that, we were going on our vacation. A getaway for just the two of us. We were going to a beach in Anvil. A beach. I've heard of them, but have never seen one. Supposed to be a warm place with nice refreshing cool water, not freezing water, but cool water. It's supposed to be a wonderful place to take off a considerable amount of your clothing, and let the sun tan your skin. I wish I could go to a place like that. Someday, I might be able to._

_Other than that, I guess I'm just still light-headed. No one else has woken up yet, except for Erandur, who had not really fallen asleep. He had just grown weak and was almost on the verge of joining us. When he saw me awake and the little skinny fluff-ball standing over him, he immediately apologized for thinking that a knock-out gas called the Miasma would not affect US when we decided to step into the building._

_I'm still trying to get this kitten to stay with us. After all, she just saved our lives. Oh well, I'll try again._

_Lydia…_

_…._

I closed my journal and looked up at the ceiling. The purple/yellow mist continued to flow up above us. I could smell it, a numbing gas that made my lungs itch. The smell was lovely, making me want to breathe more in. This gas was powerful enough to create illusions, though. It created a whole dream where I thought I was married to Asger and we were going to Cyrodiil. Right now, it was creating these shadows that seemed to dance across the walls, daring to reach out and snatch me.

I looked down at my ring. It was humming with a light frequency that I could feel pouring through my body. This was no enchantment that I had ever seen before. It did not have that magic glow that I was used to, but instead, it felt natural.

I looked over at the Khajiit again. She was whispering something to a purple rock, standing over Asger. I saw something white surrounding her body, like a dull fire that was barely visible. It flashed for a second and then disappeared. My eyes were drawn down to the ring she held in her hand. The amethyst seemed to sparkle with a new energy. The Khajiit smiled and placed it on Asger's finger.

Then she stood up, jumped on top of him, bouncing up and down on his lap. "Wake up!" She shouted, bouncing up and down on his stomach. I would have said something but she was on her knees, barely bouncing, and looked like she only weighed 50 pounds. "Wake up!"

Asger continued to snore, drool pouring out of his mouth. He smiled. "Lydia…slow down."

My face blushed madly. Was…was he dreaming what I thought he was dreaming?

He frowned. "Stop punching me, it hurts!" He started thrashing underneath the Khajiit's bouncing. "Why can't you just be nice for once?"

The Khajiit looked over from him to me. She smiled and leaned down closer to him. She cleared her throat and whispered, "How about we go somewhere private and continue this somewhere else? Or would you rather that I just take you right here?"

Asger cringed. "No…anything but that…I…anywhere but here!"

She smiled as she started tickling Asger, a small snicker escaping her voice. "I'm gonna getcha."

Asger started laughing. "No…no…stop Lydia. Get off me! I…I can't…I can't breathe." His eyes flew open and he launched himself up, throwing the Khajiit cub off of his chest. The cub screamed out in surprise, flying off his chest and hitting her head on the wall. Asger's eyes scanned the room and found me. His face fell apart. "You're evil!" He said, pointing his finger over at me.

I rolled my eyes. "No…" I said and directed his attention to the Khajiit cub rubbing the top of her head in pain. She looked like she was going to cry. "She's evil."

The Khajiit smiled playfully. "Morning, lover." She made a kissy face. "Did you enjoy your tickle fight?"

Asger swallowed hard. "Well…it wasn't a tickle fight. I dreamt…" He looked over at me. "Well…it wasn't important." He finally looked down at his finger, finding something to distract us with. "Hey! This ring! Yes, this ring thingy. This was not on my hand before. Wow!...Where did such a thing come from?" He flashed his finger over at us, faking a surprised expression.

The Khajiit smiled. "I made it. I like sparkly things and I used that amethyst to nullify all the poison in your system. As long as you continue to wear it, it should continue to keep your mind clear of all major illusions." She nodded as she crossed her hands. "Yes, sir. I am happy I learned how to make jewelry."

I looked around the room. Shadows were continuing to flow across the walls, creepily glaring at me. It was getting worse now. Now they were getting off the walls, moving closer to me. I raised my hand. "But…I'm still seeing shadows dancing on the walls."

She sighed and looked over at me in mild annoyance. "I said…MAJOR ILLUSIONS!" She screamed that last part. She squinted her eyes. "I'm not the best shaman alive. I can't just program powerful crystals yet."

"Shaman?" Erandur asked, looking down at his amethyst ring. "Oh…now I understand. You're a crystal shaman, aren't you? That explains the ancient magic that I feel resonating through my being."

She smiled and nodded. "During my captivity, I learned a thing or two from my buddy. She was a shaman. Our captors called her an ashlander witch. She was so nice to me, making me her apprentice. She taught me so much." She looked down at the floor and her tail started twitching. "I miss her. I wonder where she is?"

Erandur smiled. "Ah…my ancestors. I should have guessed. So, were you a slave to people who looked like myself?" He pulled down his hood, showing her his face.

The Khajiit looked for a second before shaking her head. "No…there was only one of you, that woman. She was a slave too. They forced her to make them food and produce healing for them. She spent all her time in chains next to an alchemist table. She was very young when I first met her, same age as me but by the time we were freed by the Imperials who found us…she had already aged a good deal. She's still very young, but she seems so much older. I think being caged with me made her childhood fade away. I miss being around her…she was the only friend I've ever had."

Asger squinted his eyes. "But you said earlier, when we talked, that you were captured by dark-skinned people. I thought that you were talking about Dunmer."

Erandur crossed his arms. "Because we enslave Khajiits and Argonians, right?" He shook his head. "We've long had that disbanded. We actually don't want any Khajiits or Argonians in our land because of our history of having them as slaves."

The Khajiit shook her head. "No, I was not enclosed by others like him." She pointed up at Erandur. "I was caged by other dark-skinned _humans_. Humans who look close to you." She pointed at Asger, "Only not light-skinned. It would be like comparing an orange coat like me to another me with darker fur."

I found my eyes narrowing in examination. Her fur was not orange, but a dull brown. I pointed at her and said, "Are you sure you're an orange coat? Your fur looks brown."

She looked down at her arms and sighed. "I need a bath. It's usually a burnt orange, but it's so dirty I just can't see it now." She motioned down at her leather dress. "I stained this pink…but now it just looks like blood." She started crying. "I hate this color!"

Asger clenched his fist. "Redguards." He shook the wooziness from his head. Was he still able to think of the Khajiit's origins? I had allowed myself to get side-tracked. This…was so opposite of how it usually went. Asger normally got side-tracked and I'd bring him back to the subject. Asger pounded his fist on the wall. "I should have known. They like to take prisoners and slaves just as much as people from Morrowind did a long time ago. The only difference is…it's still happening in Hammerfell. The do illegal trading. Our little cub here was probably going to end up as a black-market slave." He looked over at the cub. "How long were you in that cage?"

She looked over at him, confused. "Years. I don't remember how long exactly, but I know that they took me from my parents. They often remind me that they killed them and that they would do the same if I ever ran. They told me that I would make a good exotic brothel dancer…whatever that is. That was why they were holding onto me for so long, just until I reached an…appropriate age to be traded to a place like that. They were planning on giving me up sometime earlier this year." She shrugged and said, "We were stuck here in Skyrim because they were exporting me to Morrowind, hoping to get a good price for me. Well, it appeared that they didn't want a Khajiit slave…mostly because of the dark history with my race. Well, that's how they came by the Dunmer witch, who they took as a slave as well. She was the same age as me. They were planning on doing the same thing with her that they were going to do to me…once they could get us back to Hammerfell to be traded. Too bad the Empire had surrounded the borders, keeping us all locked in here."

We all sat there for a second, our cub started at an amethyst ring in her hand. She finally finished her trance-like state and slid the ring over Esbern's finger.

Esbern was up instantly, accidentally head-butting the Khajiit in the process. "Delphine, don't drink that!"

Esbern's sudden awaking made me jump back. I looked over at the Khajiit cub, who was grabbing her head in pain. She glanced over at me, crying again. "Why?" She asked. I could only shrug in reply. _Because you continue to stand in front of people when you wake them up._ I thought to myself.

Asger smiled. "Was it poisoned?" He said as he started laughing at my reaction.

Esbern shook his head, "No…tap water. You know how vile water straight from the stream is? I've seen people piss in that water…and there's fish…that piss in that water. She was drinking piss." He shivered. "No…always have to boil water first. Always…"

Erandur sighed and grabbed his head. "You people…are just…" He looked over at me. "Are they always like this?" I nodded in reply. He bowed to me. "I am sorry for your loss."

Asger smiled. "So, what did you dream about, Esbern?"

Esbern shivered. "So much blood, so much…." He turned away from us. "Nothing…just some things that happened in the past."

Asger shrugged and looked over at me. "What about you, Lyds? Did you have any special dreams?"

"Well…" I started. "I dreamt that the two of us went to Anvil to go to the beach, since I've never been there. You treated me to some sheep mutton…which I was told it was like a miniature mammoth."

Erandur sighed. "Oh…you encourage this behavior.."

The cub that had been listening to my story tilted her head to the side in confusion. "A miniature mammoth? Really?"

Asger laughed. "A sheep? You think it's a miniature mammoth? You're crazy, Lydia…just crazy." He continued laughing but pushed himself onto his feet. "So, we have a quest to complete, right?"

Erandur nodded, standing up. "Thank Mara." He started, grabbing his head in frustration. He sighed happily. "Yes, we do. I am sorry. I should have mentioned that this place was attacked by Orcs. The priests that served Vaermina here defended the place as best as they could. When all else failed, they released a knock-out gas called the Miasma. Now, the gas is a powerful knock-out and it has this thing of keeping anyone under its spell sustained forever. We could have been in here for eons and not even know it." He looked over at the Khajiit and said, "You, cat…how long were we in here for before you came in?"

She shrugged. "Three days." She looked at the doorway. "The little girl wanted to come in here, but I told her that I'd go in instead. I guess I've spent the past three days getting to know about you all. She's the daughter of the black-haired mean woman who is supposedly a housecarl of the brown-haired hippie man, who is supposed to be the Dragonborn who is going to save the world from Alduin the world Eater. The old man is some old Blade, which is a dragon slayer, who's in some conspiracy involving the Thalmor and the return of the dragons, and then my new friend is some blind princess who can see with her third eye. She's from the future and has some war to fight against the coming darkness, which is why she came back in time…to make sure that she can be born." The Khajiit shook her head. "Quite the imagination she has. Anyway, she promises me that you won't put me back in chains."

I nodded. "Don't worry, we won't hurt you at all."

The Khajiit rubbed her head in annoyance. "A little too late for that…"

Asger chuckled. "Yeah, sorry. So, what's Cecilie doing now anyway?"

The Khajiit shrugged. "She's currently studying some Alchemy in the inn."

Asger smiled. "Yup, that's my daughter. Anyway, and I've always wanted to know…" He sat down and looked the Khajiit in the eye. "What do we call you?"

The Khajiit tilted her head to the side. "You mean a name?"

Asger nodded. "Yes…a name."

She shrugged. "I had many names: jailbait, dancer, fleabag, cat, hiccup, slave, servant, fur-licker, other…licker." She looked away at that last one. "And plenty other names that follow the last one." She shook her head. "I've been called so many things other than my birth name that when I focus on what my mother used to call me…all I get is a blank spot where her voice used to be. I am name-less."

Esbern sighed. "Sounds like you had a hard life. Why not choose your own name?"

She shrugged. "I haven't thought about it. A name means that I'm property. If I don't have an identity, no one can take it from me again."

Asger sighed in defeat. "A name is something that gives you an identity, yes. It's something that validates your life, your existence. If you stay name-less, you're saying that those slavers owned your name, your identity. You are stating that when you left, you also left your life behind with them. You're free now." Asger said, bringing up his arm in a triumphant pose. "You can establish your new identity, your freedom now. Fine, you can stay name-less, but we'll have to call you something; otherwise you'll always be… The Khajiit that follow us around everywhere. And…I hate to say that every time I look back at you."

The Khajiit looked down in surprise. "I'm free?" She looked down at her hands. "I'm free." She looked back up at us. "I never really thought of myself as free, just…trying to survive." She sighed. "I need a new name, but I have no idea what it should be."

I looked down at my amethyst ring. "I have an idea." I looked over at the Khajiit and said, "You're a crystal shaman so…why not call yourself by your favorite crystal? That way you'll at least have an identity as what you already are, a crystal focuser."

She smiled in return. "That sounds like a good idea. Ruby. My name shall be Ruby."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha! Ruby. Of all the crystal names that I could have chosen, I chose Ruby. Well, maybe it will be a thing where she changes her name as much as she steals something from someone. Oh yeah...she likes sparkly things so...expect her quick fingers to find a way to find stuff that belongs to other people._


	16. Ch 16: Dreamstride

**Cearbhail:**_ I really liked this chapter. It's got more run around and there is some back and forth dialouge between everyone. Overall, it seemed ok._

_So, there was something I wanted to say but now for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. Oh well... enjoy._

* * *

Ch 16

_Dear journal,_

_So, we finally got the Khajiit to give us a name for her. She chose Ruby so…now we have to call her Ruby. She has decided for the moment that she is going to come with us through this temple, even though Erandur told her to go back to Dawnstar and let Cecilie know that we're ok. Ruby smiled and said that she did not want to leave just yet._

_So, we started walking, and walking. We killed some Orcs who woke up in a bad mood, and found ourselves at some impenetrable barrier. Asger wanted to blow up the wall that the barrier surrounded, or even the floor in front of it. Esbern wanted to leave the whole thing alone, break the window-like wall that showed the alter to Vaermina, and then use the rope he had to repel down. Erandur….wanted to go find a book. So, then…we ended up in some library, looking for a book on potions that will allow us to travel through the portal, instead of blowing it up, or just going around it. It's been four hours and we're still looking for this very specific book right now._

_Ruby, while we've been looking for stuff, has been looking for stuff as well. So far, I'm the only one who's noticed, but…potions, gold coins, jewelry…they all end up in a giant sack that she throws across her back. She's probably taken a couple thousand gold worth of stuff in just the three minutes I've watched her sift through this library. I guess it's ok, as long as it's minor stuff that's in ruins. I mean, people do this type of stuff all the time. They come into ruins and abandoned temples, take stuff that's of value, and then leave and sell it. Ruby is probably just doing the same._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and looked over at Asger. He was silently looking through racks and racks of ruined books. He sighed and looked over at Erandur and said, "So…even if I do find this book…how do we know that it won't just be ruined like the rest?"

Erandur shrugged. "Honestly, we don't. The Dreamstride is a very old text, but it holds some information to some very powerful potion recipes."

Ruby looked up from a desk that she crawled under. I could see the sparkle in her eyes. "Recipes? To potions? As in…making some plants into a powerful mix that can be charged at a decently priced value?"

Erandur glanced over at her, his eyes harsh and judging. "NO! More like plants that can be turned into an extremely powerful mix that can potentially wreak havoc on civilizations if someone gets their hands on the text."

Ruby looked unhappy. "Fine." She said, throwing herself under the desk again.

Asger smiled and shook his head in amusement. "Somehow, I bet she'd turn a profit anyway…"

I stood up and walked over to the desk, seeing her struggle to pull herself further under. "Hey." I said. The desk moved and I heard Ruby cry out in pain.

"Ow…" She said, pulling her head out from under the desk. "You people keep causing me so much pain…" She looked up at me and smiled. "Hi, Nord woman. Can I help you?"

I nodded. "I have a name. It's Lydia. And…yeah…looks like you need some help. What's under there that you want so badly?"

She blushed and looked back under the desk. "There's a greater soul gem back here. I can't reach it."

I nodded and pushed the desk out. It made a very loud grinding sound but it moved. When the greater soul gem stuck out, Ruby reached out, grabbed it, and threw it in her backsack. I only shook my head in amazement. "How much stuff you have in that sack of yours?"

She blushed a bit and stepped away. "You know…just enough to live nice. I'm free now. I deserve new clothes, a small hut, some food. You know…stuff."

Asger smiled and looked over at her from where he was looking for the book. "Yeah, that stuff is nice, but you can just live with us in Whiterun. That way you can save yourself from worrying about keeping all that stuff. Our household already contains Lydia and myself, not to mention our daughter Cecilie eventually, so we don't mind having another around as well."

I started to think about our house in Whiterun. It wasn't that big. In fact, it was barely big enough for the two of us. If we were going to eventually start a family, we would have to move to somewhere else. So, I looked up at him and said, "Can we move somewhere new? Get out of Whiterun?"

Asger looked over at me like I said something alien to him. "Move somewhere other than Whiterun?" He rubbed his chin and looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought. "I guess…but…aren't you a Battle-Born? I would think that moving from Whiterun might be a little…um…like leaving your family?"

I started to think about it. It was true, our family was one of the most important influential families in Whiterun. But, I was from a lower chaste of the family, one that was barely even noticed. If I moved away, it would give me a chance to get away from my family legacy and just focus on starting a new legacy. So, I nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. How about Solitude?"

Ruby's eyes lit up. "Solitude…I've heard stories about Solitude…the walls are lined with Diamonds, the people wear jewels around their fingers and necks." Ruby smiled and rubbed her hands together. "And they let my kind inside their walls…"

I smacked her lightly against the back of her head. "No! Bad kitten, no stealing."

She rubbed the back of her head and looked up at me scornfully. "Fine. I was only thinking of taking from the rich…and giving it among the people like myself. People who have nothing to wear but the animals that they kill themselves." She paused, spread her feet out, throwing up a fist to the height of her stretch. "People who only eat once every four days, after finding some berries, or some dead animal that has already been hunted. Having to deal with all the stomach problems that come from eating rotting meat. I want to fight for those people, for I know what they have gone through, what they have to do to survive…"

I sighed and looked over at Asger. "You just had to give her a lesson in bardic persuasion speeches, didn't you?"

Asger made a fist and brought it up in a triumphant pose. "I believe that everyone should have the gift of free speech. The ability to create lyrical verse; to express themselves to the apex of their natural ability. Everyone should strive to create a speech that works for them, to make people see their viewpoints, to eventually get them to accept that…maybe their lifestyle isn't so bad, that perhaps…."

I grabbed one of the ruined books and chucked it at him. Asger ended his speech early, brought his fist up to protect himself, laughed, and smiled. "Now now…housecarl. No hurting your Thane…" He pointed his finger at me and gave it a wag. "Now…say you're sorry."

I groaned under my breath. "I'm sorry, my Thane. I overreacted and I misused the ancient texts of the library. It will not happen again…"

He smiled. "Ok, good." He stopped, returning to his bardic speech pose. "Because I believe that every person should…"

"Found it!" Esbern called from the top of the library. He waved the book down at Erandur, who looked very pleased.

Erandur smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's it. Bring it down here." He exhaled and glanced over at me. "I wasn't sure how much more of that conversation I could take." He said it just low enough that I was the only person who could hear him.

Esbern practically jumped down from the top floor, landing quietly only a foot away from Erandur. He handed him the book and said, "Here you go. Now, what's so special about this book anyway?"

Erandur started flipping through the pages. "That barrier is impassable."

"Just like my kidney stones…" Esbern said.

Asger shrugged. "Not if we blow up the wall it surrounds."

Esbern nodded. "And not if we blow a hole in the floor and free-fall down a level."

"We are not damaging this ancient ruin!" Erandur said. He grabbed his eyes and rubbed the frustration away. "You people are going to be the end of me."

Asger snickered. "Somehow I bet it's going to be some old friends of his that think that he betrayed them that will be the end of him…"

Erandur held his hands up in defeat. "You're probably right. Anyway," He turned to Esbern. "This book has a recipe of a certain potion that allows someone to time-walk through the past in the memory of someone else. If we get someone to travel back in time to someone else's memory, say…someone who activated the Miasma, we can get the barrier dropped from the inside."

Esbern nodded in understanding. "Yes, I get it now. So, someone is going to have to drink this potion and then…they will deactivate the shield from the inside. While they do so, however, in their waiting period, they will be completely at the mercy of stealth and luck. Because if for whatever reason they enemy wakes up, like before…they will overrun this one person and potentially kill them."

Erandur nodded. "Yes, so we need someone who is stealthy…" He looked over at Ruby.

Esbern nodded, rubbing his chin. "And have an unnatural lucky streak, like perhaps finding a group of humans that provide constant food especially on the brink of starvation." He looked over at Ruby.

I nodded, rubbing my chin as well. "And someone who is very good at surviving…" I also looked down at her.

Ruby sighed. "Ok, I get it."

Asger sighed. "Ok, ok. I understand." He raised his hands in a submissive defeat. "I know I'm stealthy, and lucky, and very good at surviving. I guess we don't have any choice. I'm the only one who can do this."

Esbern sighed. "You're not lucky. You led us to Dawnstar…when we were heading to Riverwood."

"What?" Erandur asked. "How…how is it possible to muck that up?"

I really wanted to get my word in. "And you're not stealthy. When we were sneaking through the Falmer lair, we were doing just fine. They couldn't see us, they couldn't smell us, they couldn't even hear us! But then…" I grabbed my head in frustration. "You had to fart…didn't you? It was so loud and smelly…that everyone in the Dwemer ruin knew where we were."

Asger pointed a finger at me. "Hey! That was one time, one. And…I'm not sure _we_ even went into a Dwemer ruin yet. How did you know that?"

Erandur groaned and turned away. "You know what…forget it. I'll do this myself." He walked away, "I'm getting sick of the lot of you." He mumbled to himself, heading down into the tunnel.

Ruby and I stepped away as well, following Erandur while Esbern and Asger continued to argue to each other. Esbern and Asger followed a few seconds later, catching up to us in a light jog.

Erandur noticed us following him, so he stopped and turned to face us. "Stop following me, I'll do this myself."

Asger smiled. "But we're not following you. We're just doing down to wherever you're going and helping you anyway we can."

Erandur sighed in defeat. "If I knew then…what I know now…I'd rather have come up here and died alone in the service of Dawnstar and Lady Mara."

Asger patted Erandur on the shoulder. "But then…the problem would never have been solved. You are the one and only person who knows how to end this." He brought his fist up in his triumphant pose. "And we…"

I grabbed Asger by the ear, saying, "No bardic speech…Erandur might kill himself if we continue our nonsense."

Asger cried out in minor pain but finally nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Ok, back on course." He looked over at Erandur. "So, you have the book, what's our plan of action?"

Erandur looked down at his book and started flipping through the pages. He finally found what he was looking for and pointed at some part of the page as he started reading it more thoroughly. "Hmm…it seems that the potion we are looking for is called Vaermina's Torpor." He sighed. He looked down at us. "That potion is very rare…we shall head down to the laboratory where all our potions are made."

Ruby's eyes lit up. "Potions? Like…very well crafted liquids that can be collected for no cost and then sold at a high price?"

Erandur sighed in defeat. "Yes, Ruby. You can have them…just…don't sell them in Dawnstar, or give them to bandits. Mara preserve us."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I wonder what Ruby will do with all the stuff she's collecting? Jeez, I don't even know at this stage.._


	17. Ch 17: Who drinks it?

**Cearbhail:**_ Holy crap, this chapter gets pretty dark. I forgot, I did this whole speech with another character earlier...don't worry, she's from a different series of books. I wondered why it seemed so familiar. Anyway, this story gets pretty dark up ahead but eh... it's done._

_ENJOY! XD_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So, I guess we're finally getting somewhere. We got to the laboratory, killed some priests who did not want us inside messing with anything, also some crazy Orcs, but…we can't find the potion._

_So, after another four hours of searching, Esbern grabbed his back in pain and said that he was old and needed to take some rest. So, we set up camp for the night. Yes…we're sleeping inside a Daedric ruin filled with killer Orcs, angry priests, and Ruby…who might rob us blind before we wake up._

_Everyone else is sleeping, but I'm still awake. Well, Asger is awake as well. He's lightly playing his flute in a lovely tune that helped the others fall asleep. Even Erandur was happy with Asger's playing. He stated that Asger should play some time in Dawnstar. He could make some money. As soon as he said that Ruby jumped up and asked Asger to teach her how to play the flute. So, I guess Ruby's going to end up as a bard one day. If she stays with us when we move to Solitude, I guess she'll attend the Bard's College. She's supposedly old enough to at least take classes. She looks like she's near late childhood, early adulthood. Somewhere in the teens area._

_I was thinking about Cecilie all today while we journeyed through this place. I wonder how she's doing. I guess she's just fine since she is kind of…psychic…ok very psychic. I bet that once we get back to Dawnstar, she'll be beating people in poker or something. I don't know. Anyway, I'm getting sleepy now, night…_

_Lydia…_

_…_

I guess the night passed by pretty quickly. Sure, it was cold and damp inside the ruin, but it was an enjoyable sleep. My dream was slightly different than the usual ones. It did not involve fighting, or Asger at all. I was the first to awaken; Esbern was still out cold, snoring lightly. Erandur looked like he was enjoying the first peaceful sleep in ages, and Ruby was as out-cold as any other teenager. She kept tossing and turning, but I couldn't do anything to wake her up unless she wanted up. I didn't want to bother anyway. I liked the early moments of the morning where no one was talking and creating the situations we continually found ourselves in.

I took this time to look around the laboratory. There were more than just potions lying around. The place was filled with alchemy ingredients. I was hoping I could find something that I could cook up for breakfast. I was sure that I wasn't the only one starving right now. Too bad I couldn't find anything immediately.

I went through racks and racks of spoiled meat, ruined grain, and rotten fruits. The only thing that remained were salts and potions. I guess potions never went bad, but we couldn't just eat potions. Sure, a health potion might heal our stomach aches for an hour or two, but health potions were fattening, filled with a lot of sugar. It was kind of ironic, depending on health potions could cause some dependency on the potion itself to live, diabetes (which health potions cannot cure), and rapid weight gain. It was also an additive drug, once again going back to the dependency. A lot of alchemists believed that it was an intentional thing in the past, to make their sales that much better, but it seemed that with the ingredients involved with health potions, it could not be avoided.

Magic potions were almost just as bad. Sure, they gave you a good boost of magical ability, but having that stuff too much weakened your body's ability to contain magicka. Stamina potions gave you a good energy boost but once again dependency would kick in, addictiveness caused people to become cranky and jittery. And then…there were the heart problems. The nerves were super-charged, the heart was beating faster, and with older fellows…having a faster heart beat was dangerous.

So, knowing my history associated with potions, I already knew that we were not going to consume them for breakfast. If I started that trend, it might become a normal thing for us. Instead, I had to find something actually edible that we could eat.

So, I continued to look around, trying to find something I could use. I found…

…

Nothing. I found nothing. But around my time of giving up finding food, Asger started waking up. It started with him moaning and his finger strumming against the lute lying in his lap. It ended with that strumming sound throwing him up in surprise. He fell asleep leaning back on a chair last night, with the lute he was playing. Well, waking up and having his finger strum the cord, the noise forced him to fall backwards. The chair wobbled for a second and both it and Asger fell backwards. That sound woke both Erandur and Esbern. I looked over at Ruby, who only groaned and turned over, away from all of us. Never even opened her eyes.

Erandur shook his head, looking around in disbelief. "Did I actually sleep?" He looked down at his ring. "Man, she did a good job on this ring."

Esbern shook the surprise from his face. "What the heck was that noise? I thought the Thalmor found me."

Asger rose from the fallen chair, just as surprised as everyone else. He looked around the room, brushing the dust off his clothes. He cleared his throat and nodded over to me. "Sorry, my fault." Then, he grabbed his stomach. "Ohh…so…what's for breakfast?"

I threw my hands up in defeat. "I've looked around…and I've found nothing we can eat."

Esbern sighed. "Ok then, we need to finish this quest then. So, we have to find the potion that does not exist." He looked over at Erandur. "We looked inside this place for hours and we couldn't find it." He stopped and looked over at Ruby. "Which means…." He walked over to Ruby and grabbed her sack of stuff. He opened it up and nodded to Erandur to come by.

Erandur nodded and walked over. He opened the sack and looked inside. He whistled out in surprise. "Wow…she has enough in here to buy herself a really nice house…and probably two smaller ones." He looked around the inside of the bag. He shook his head in surprise. "I did not know those even existed…" He chuckled lightly. He finally found something, and smiled. He pulled his hand out, holding a long twisting blue bottle. "This…is Vaermina's Torpor." He looked around the room, his smile spreading wider. "Just one drop of this can put a man out for…days. Can you imagine what a whole potion could do?" He chuckled, almost insanely.

Asger actually looked concerned. He looked over at the potion and said, "Um…Erandur? You seem a little out of character."

Esbern crossed his arms. "Yes, I've seen this before. He is starting to become very aware of power and how it can be used."

Erandur shook his head. "No…I'm just appreciating the effects of this potion. Imagine, you're suddenly someone else: thinking what they thought, saying what they said, doing what they did…but you know that you're still yourself, just unable to control anything." He paused to look down at the potion. "I've never seen anyone actually attempt this potion before and I really hoped that I would see the effects."

I nodded. "Ok, great. So…?" I motioned to the potion. "drink it."

Then, he looked over at me like I was an idiot. I thought it was a pretty solid idea. I mean, we jumped through flaming hoops to get this potion and all the sudden…we can't use it? That did not make any sense.

Erandur looked down at the potion and sighed. "I cannot drink this…it won't affect me. This potion can only work on someone who is associated with Vaermina or someone who is not linked to her at all."

Asger chuckled a bit. "So…it works on anyone?"

Erandur shook his head. "No, only people associated to her…like her priests, or someone who has no association to her…like anyone else."

Esbern sighed. "Right, so…everyone then?"

Erandur shook his head. "No, it won't work on me."

"Why?" I asked. This made no sense.

"Because I'm a priest of Lady Mara. I'm Vaermina's enemy. Her potion will not work on me because I'm a former priest of Vaermina. I was associated with her, but now I'm not. Now I'm assiosiated with an Aedra. This potion will not work on Priests of Aedras." Erandur said with a sigh.

Ruby finally started to wake up. She looked over at us and she saw the potion sitting in Erandur's hands. Her eyes hardened for a second and then she turned to her sack. She rummaged through it and sighed. "I see…so…I'm the reason we were here all day then." She sighed again. "That's six thousand coins that I'll never see." She stood up and started rummaging through the laboratory. I heard her mumble, "I have to make up for this loss."

I turned my attention back to Erandur and his group. He looked like he was contemplating something. "So, who am I giving this to? Whoever drinks this may or may not die."

Asger looked over at me and Esbern. He sighed. "I'll do it."

Esbern held up his hand. "No…you're the Dragonborn. You're too essential to risk. I'm old…I'll do it."

Asger raised his hand in defense. "No…you can't. You're the lore keeper for the Blades. Delphine needs to know what you know in order to kill all the dragons."

Esbern sighed. "Well, you can't do it, I can't do it, Lydia can't do it…"

I scoffed. "Hey! I could do it, if I wanted. There's nothing against the rules about women drinking the potion."

Asger sighed. "But we're both thinking about your part in the future. You need to give birth to our precious daughter."

I sighed. "You're needed for that role as well."

Erandur rubbed his eyes in defeat. "So…who's going to do it?"

"I will!" Ruby called. She walked up, grabbing the potion from Erandur's arms. "I've been the obvious choice the whole time. I'm stealthy, I know how to survive. I know when my role is being called. If I die…I will not be missed. I have no family, you guys are my only friends I've ever had. I'm just some cat in a foreign land. To be honest, living is so overrated and this could be an easier death for me to accept than hunting a deer for three days straight and then having to drag him back to the only dark hole that I know…waiting for an old friend who said she'd be back, who never has. So…what do I have to lose? My life? A thing that means nothing in this world anymore? If my death can mean something then…I will do it. I will drink this potion." She turned and looked at me. "If I survive…I think I'll take you two up on your offer, to live with you, I mean."

With that, before anyone could say anything, she took a big sip of the potion, almost downing the whole thing. She dropped the potion, it shattering on the floor. Her eyes glazed over and she slumped back. I reached out to grab her but when my arms stretched out to stop her from falling, she just…disappeared. I was halted, looking for where she left to. I found tears forming in my eyes. Did…did she just die?

Asger nodded, looking at the empty spot where Ruby disappeared just seconds before. He smiled and clapped slowly. "Done just like a true bard. Very dramatic exit."

Erandur sighed. "Come, we must go to the barrier. She will be waiting for us."

…

So, when we arrived to the barrier, we found that it was already down. Ruby was sitting in a relaxed manner, holding onto a soul gem. She tossed it up and down in her hands. "You know…I totally forgot to ask you how to drop the shield…but I guess my impulse to grab stones was in fact a good thing this time. Once I grabbed this stone, the whole thing just came down. Man..." She said, tossing the soul gem into her bag. "I'm glad you sent me. I learned so much stuff."

Erandur nodded. "I can only imagine, what it must have felt like; going into someone else's mind, seeing what they saw, what they thought."

Ruby smiled. She knew something. I couldn't guess anything as to what it was, but she seemed like she could look at Erandur in a new light. "Oh, I think you can imagine a great deal about what I saw."

We continued down the tunnel in silence. We fought the now fully awakened Orcs and priests. They had no illusions of just how confused they were when they woke up, but they still did not know what they were. I believe one of the Orcs said, "I don't know what's going on…but this voice in my head is saying that I have to kill you…so I will obey."

So, we ended up fighting more and more of them as we continued past. Ruby, the entire time, ran from body to body, looking for stuff to take. I could only roll my eyes. She was so obsessed with collecting as much stuff as she could carry. There was one more thing that was bothering me. She said that she was pretty much useless, that she didn't really have a reason to live, because she had no parents or any real friends. The only people she knew were us, and we'd only known her for a couple days at the most. She took that potion without hesitation. She drank something that could have killed her without thinking twice. Did she really think less of herself?

"Ruby…about what you said earlier…" I started, getting her attention. "You didn't mean it, right?"

Her face cracked. "What? You mean you won't let me live with you?"

I shook my head. "No, not that. You're more than welcome to join our family. I'm talking about you saying that your life is close to meaningless."

She smirked at my comment. She shrugged. "I'm just a cub. I'm no adult, I'm not important. I don't even know where I come from…"

"Elsweyr." Asger called from the front.

Ruby chuckled. "Ok, I now I know where I come from, but…where in Elsweyr? What clan, what village? Who were my parents? I'm alone. I have no last name, no one who can give me answers. You…and Asger, and even Esbern all have some role to play. Asger is some hero, you're going to give birth to a hero, and Esbern holds some secret information that can save all of Tamriel from being killed off by dragons. Me? I'm…trained to pleasure pirates who pay for it."

Asger chuckled before he turned around. "Don't forget that you're also a crystal shaman. There aren't many of you left. Don't forget, you saved our lives already by coming in here and giving us these rings." He flashed the ring at her.

Ruby smiled. "And I liked that…helping you all. So, I thought…if I had to choose a way to die, what better way than helping all of you…and Dawnstar from suffering from these nightmares? I couldn't think of a better way to go. Besides, if it didn't  
work, you all would just go back to breaking down the whole palace, destroying the altar anyway. When I drank that potion, I felt at peace for once in my life. The only time I felt ok with my choices."

"We're here." Erandur called.

We all stopped and looked in front of us. There was a giant altar with a bubble shield covering a wicked looking staff. I stood there and just appreciated the artwork. The altar was of a woman with six arms with snakes wrapping around her long body. She had a forked tongue and slits for eyes.

"Well, Casimir…you have decided to come back to us after all?" A priest said as he came out from around the corner. He was followed by another priest.

"Casimir?" Asger, Esbern, and I asked as we looked over at Erandur.

Ruby nodded. "Yes, he was originally called Casimir."

Erandur smiled and spread his hands. "Veren? Thorek? You two survived?"

They nodded. "Yes, just as you would. You…chickened out. You left before the Miasma could take effect. You are such a coward."

Erandur shook his head. "No…it's not like that. I…I wasn't ready to sleep."

Ruby raised her hand to stop Erandur from saying more. "I'll handle this." She sighed and looked over the two priests. "Seeing as I traveled through Casimir's head for a good five years, I think I know him pretty well." She shook her head in horror. "That choice that he made…it haunted him for years. He could not begin to forgive himself, almost making it so bad that he wanted to end his life. He spent many sleepless nights, seeing all his old friend's faces as he slept. He often wanted to come back to this temple and just repeat the process, put himself into a complete slumber like everyone else. He looked for something else to fill his empty hole, so he became a priest of Mara. He learned to love again, finding a plenty of places to spread that love. Then, he heard about Dawnstar and its problems with nightmares. So, he came here to finish what he now knew was wrong. He came here to right the wrong he made so long ago."

The priest that Erandur identified as Veren looked down at her and smirked. "A Khajiit? Here?" He shook his head in amazement. "And she talks in the first person. Astonishing. Too bad I have to kill her."

Ruby looked surprised but I was ready. I charged in front of her as the priest slashed with a hidden mace. The mace landed on my armor. I smiled as the priest looked dumbfounded. He looked up at me with wide eyes, taking in my grin. He looked down at his stomach, surprised to see a sword sticking into it. I looked over at Ruby and said, "No one hurts my friends."

Asger smiled. "That's my line." His voice almost made me jump. Mostly because when I turned to see where he was, he was already holding onto the other's priest's neck, only inches away from me. The priest's weapon was already on the ground and the he was probably already out cold.

Erandur nodded solemnly. He patted Ruby on the shoulder. "Thank you for understanding, cub." He walked past her and up to the altar. "This will only take a second."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: A nice long chapter for once. I'm trying really really hard to keep them this long. Anyway, let me know what you thought about this chapter._


	18. Ch 18: Really?

**Cearbhail:**_ So, things happened. You'll see. Did not really expect this to come so soon, but... eh, it's over. I might just end this book in two chapters. I'm not sure yet._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_After Ruby decided to drink the potion, none of us had any idea what to do afterwards. Erandur laid some very hard facts about his involvement with the Priests of Vaermina, but that's all said and done. Once we left the temple, we started down into town. You will never guess what we found upon arriving._

_Our daughter was in the stocks. She was chained up inside the wooden prison and people were throwing rotten tomatoes at her. Her crime: being a witch. Jeez, I thought we were past the dark ages here, but…apparently, Dawnstar is sick of spell casters and future seers. I can't really say that I blame them, but seeing my daughter locked up being pelted by rotten vegetables (which Ruby continually kept eating) is heart breaking all the same._

_Nonetheless, we can't do anything about it so we have to wait for her sentence to end. Did I mention that after she gets humiliated for a week straight, if she continues living she gets a rock tied to her feet and chucked into a lake? Oh, and that's not enough, if she escapes, she gets burned at a cross. Cecilie's not happy about it, Esbern's not happy about it, and Asger is really not happy about it. I am fucking livid. If this gets anymore out of hand, we might end up starting a war here in Dawnstar. And honestly, I'd rather destroy this town then lose my daughter to a bunch of Aedra worshiping lunatics._

_Oh…and there's one more thing. Hadvar is here in disguise and so is Legate Rikke. Once they found out about Cecilie being put in the stocks and her eventual date with the river…they knew that hey had to get involved. This is Stormcloak territory so they can't get too involved, but it's getting to the point where they're going to force a riot so that they can take the throne. They asked Asger to help…and he said he would, but only because it would get his daughter free._

_There's so much more I could go on about…but last night, Asger and I…we needed to relieve some stress and…well…I hope Cecilie doesn't find out._

_Nothing more,_

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and crawled out of the bed. Asger was still sound asleep, but since he was busy most of the night, I guess he needed it. I looked down at my stomach, hoping that nothing serious was going to happen because of the sex we had last night. Now wasn't the time for me to become pregnant. There was too much stuff that could get in our way.

It was amazing, though. The Dragonborn's mouth isn't the only place Shouts can come from…I was amazed at some of the tricks he picked up as a bard. That…kind of made me jealous, though. I wonder how many women he just breezed through before passing out in the bed. Did he really love me, or was that just frustration at being angry at the whole town? I did not know, but I had to ask him about it later. If I ended up being pregnant, we had to get married soon. Good thing it takes nine months to grow a baby. We had plenty of time.

I slipped on my robe and started to walk downstairs. We stayed in an inn last night. It wasn't like we had anywhere else to sleep. Ruby shared a bedroom with Esbern; Erandur was back at his shrine. I don't think he even followed us down the mountain. He just stayed up there. I think he was happy to be rid of us. None of that mattered to me, though. I just wanted to do one thing. I wanted to talk to my daughter before everyone else in town woke up and started throwing rotten things at her again.

I walked into the living area where the bartender was just setting up his bottles of ale. He nodded to me. "You're that mother of the witch they captured yesterday."

"Yes." I growled. I stormed over to him and said, "What happened?"

He sighed regretfully. "I'm truly sorry. She was a joy to have in this inn, but…a Thalmor who was checking up on the Jarl visited the inn for inspection. He saw the blind girl playing cards with the locals, winning gold too, and…got very angry. He walked over to her, waved his hand in front of her face, her glazed white eyes followed them. He demanded to know if she was blind, she said she was. That was it. He stormed out the room and next thing we know, the Jarl is walking in the room with armed guards with a signed statement that said that the Aldmeri Dominion would not risk a witch, especially a seer, to stand in their way. So, now we have to kill her. The Jarl was not happy about it, so he decided to do this…the old-fashioned way. She has a week to get free. She has a week to escape. The townspeople don't want to hurt her, but to start another war with the elves…we can't risk it. I'm truly sorry, miss."

He bowed to me. I could see the tears flowing down his eyes. I looked over at the door. "Where's this Thalmor now?"

He shook his head. "No, miss. I can't let you do that. If he ends up dead…we're dead. We're all dead."

I nodded. He was right. I couldn't just kill a Thalmor and not expect there to be repercussions. But, I could not also just free my daughter and have her escape. The Thalmor might take his anger out on the townsfolk too. I grabbed my head. What was I supposed to do about this? I decided to bow to the bartender. "Thank you for telling me." I stormed out of the room and down the road to the stocks. People were already up: chopping firewood, getting their morning eggs from their chickens. Did none of them care about what was going on? An eleven year-old was about to be murdered just because some Thalmor said it had to be done.

I could finally see Cecilie. She was still in her stock, sleeping soundly. Her face was still red with rotten tomato juice. So, I stepped away, grabbed a rag, soaked it in some water, and I came back. I gently started wiping the juice from her face, which started waking her up.

"Mom…you know how cold it is out here?" She asked. Her voice seemed so stressed and shaky.

I nodded. "Yes, it's 13 degrees. Supposed to snow later. Better question: why are you still unfrozen?"

"I'm a spell-caster remember? Frost Shell. It protects me from snow and ice. I also can create heat, so I kept myself warm all night long. I'm so tired." Her voice still seemed cracked. I could see the tear lines from where her tears had rolled down her cheeks. I never guessed that I would see her cry. I thought she could see everything?

"So…is this part of your plan? Get yourself locked in the stocks so that Asger will have angry sex with mommy?" I asked.

She glanced away. "No…" Then, her eyes turned back to me. "Wait, _WHAT?_"

I shrugged. "You're a seer, I thought you knew."

She tried to shake her head. "No! I don't look back into my past, remember? Besides…I'm not supposed to be born for two more years! Geez, couldn't have kept my daddy's dick in his pant for one night?"

I shrugged again. "Oops, sorry." I offered up with a smile. "It was an accident. I did not mean for it to happen."

She started crying. "My birth was an accident? My birth was a result of my daddy having angry sex with my mommy by accident?" Her head slumped down. "All this time, I thought that there was some epic tale that involved you and daddy fighting against all odds to be together, but…you hooked up in an inn and had angry sex."

I patted her on the head. "I'm sorry."

"I get locked up for being what I am, get tomatoes chucked at my head, and then in the morning, get told by my mommy that she had sex with my daddy because of me being locked up in the stocks. And all of this happens two years earlier than planned? I…" She stopped. "I need a minute to think about this." Cecilie continued to look down at the ground.

I had to change this. She couldn't dwell on this thinking for too long. "Hey. How did you become blind in the first place? Were you born this way, or did something happen?"

She looked up at me. "It was my fault. I stole daddy's elder scroll and I tried to read it. It showed me the future, the war that was going to happen, but it came with a price. It took my eyesight, but since I was young, it forced me to become a very powerful seer. The gift also allows me to see all around me, like I'm out of my body looking down at myself, while also being able to see right in front of me. It gets disorienting, but I've had a few years to get used to it."

I nodded. "I can guess it can become pretty rough. What's it like? Being able to see the future?"

She finally sighed. "Well, I had no idea this was going to happen, so that should tell you about my awesome seeing ability. I was just enjoying a game of cards when that Altmer with the almighty complex walked in. He was already on the lookout for someone like me. They have their own seers and they saw that I…was a threat." She tried to shake her head. "I'm sorry, mommy. I did not mean for any of this to happen. I guess it's too late now."

I nodded. "You're right, but we'll get you out of here."

More tears started flowing down her cheek. "I know…but…the town…" Her voice was cracking even more now.

I finally finished cleaning her face. "It will be just fine, Cecilie. The town will be just fine."

She was starting to cry more. "I always wondered why Dawnstar did not exist in my time…it was me…my fault."

That stopped me in my tracks. I shook my head. "What? This town? This town does not exist in your time?"

Cecilie nodded slightly. "You must warn the Jarl about what I said. He needs to evacuate the town."

I stood up. "Are you sure you don't need me here?"

Cecilie sighed. "Mom…go. I'll be fine. I just…need to think about what I need to do now to make everything end up ok."

So, I walked away, leaving Cecilie behind to go back to her sleep. I guess she didn't have much to look forward to except for another round of tomato pelting. Who knows…maybe they were out of rotten vegetables to throw at her? As I continued to walk to the White Hall. As I approached I could see an Altmer grinning from ear to ear as a cart filled with rotten vegetables started rolling into town. He was actually standing right next to the entrance to the White Hall, looking at the cart coming into view. Great…this Thalmor was probably here just to overhear anything anyone had to say about their problems with Cecilie.

As I started up the staircase, the Thalmor bowed to me. "Top of the morning, fair lady. What brings you to the White Hall? Jarl Skald does not have an appointment with anyone today. He's far too busy scheduling the approval to drown the witch today."

I held my fury to my side. I forced a smile. "Actually, I'm here for that reason. I have the forms for him to sign."

The Thalmor squinted his eyes in suspicion. "Oh, so you're the courier I called for? Please…this way." He opened the door and ushered me inside. "We have some fresh rotten tomatoes if you wish to give them a chuck at the witch later."

I nodded. "Thanks. I think I will give something a chuck." I was thinking of his head being chucked off his body with my sword delivering it. This guy was causing my daughter too much grief.

He bowed to me. "We will begin the round of vegetable chucking in an hour, so please hurry this process. I hope to see this witch drowning before nightfall."

I forced myself to bow back. "I will try my best."

He left me alone as he closed the door behind him. I let myself gag on the rising bile as I continued to walk into the room. Jarl Skald was already sitting in his throne, holding his head in a silent defeat. He saw me approach and I could see him shaking his head.

"I don't care if the entire Aldmeri Dominion bursts down my door…I'm not signing your orders to rush the execution. We have our rights and rules towards witch executions. She will be tortured as our rule states that she can be. She will sit there the whole week, no discussion." He said, his voice forced to be full of venom and spite.

I bowed down to my knee and lowered my head. "My Jarl…that is my daughter in the stocks."

"She is?" Jarl Skald asked in disbelief. He rose from his chair and walked over to me. He lifted me up and threw me into a tight hug. "I am so sorry, I had no choice. I wish I could do something, but the entire Aldmeri Dominion wants her executed. I'm trying my best to keep her alive as long as I can…so she can escape or something." He looked around the room and pulled me in close. He whispered, "I've sent a message to Jarl Stormcloak. He's preparing to send a full contingent of Stormcloaks to help us. He will protect her."

I shook my head. "There is no time; the Thalmor wants her dead now. You see, my daughter's a seer and they seem to think that she will become a problem to them later, so they want her dead. She's already seen that this town will be destroyed so…she wants you to evacuate the town. If Jarl Stormcloak is so great…flee to his hold. Go to Windhelm. I'll kill the Thalmor and you all can leave. If we hurry, we can still get away in one piece."

To my surprise, Jarl Skald nodded his head. "Ok, that sounds good. We need to do this fast. We need a way to silence any seers from seeing what we're doing so we can get everyone packed. The best way to get him to not see what we're up to is if we agree to drown your girl."

I nodded. "But not really, right?"

He nodded back. "Yes. I do have a court wizard. Madena will cast Waterbreathing and go out and help release her. Then they will swim away. Hopefully, that will be enough, but I know that the Thalmor will want to see the body and proclaim her dead. So, while he's out doing that, we'll just deal with it."

"Or…" I said, "maybe we could just kill him?" I shrugged. "You're evacuating the hold so…it won't matter. It might actually be in your best interest. That way he can't interfere with it."

He shrugged. "If we were just going to kill him, why bother faking the execution? There would be no need."

"Actually, Jarl Skald." A Nord dressed in white Dawnstar guard armor walked up. He bowed and said, "There is a good reason why you should effectively fake her death. You're right, he does need to see her body and pronounce her dead. Doing so will convince the Aldmeri Dominion that she is no longer a threat. If they fear her, it's for good reason. She may be the winning factor in getting rid of the Thalmor once and for all."

Jarl Skald nodded to the Nord. "So, what do you propose, then, Jod? It's not like we can just kill her?"

"An herb." A Breton woman said as she walked into the room. "If we give her some Frost Mirriam with a combination of Nightshade, it will be enough to stop her heart temporarily. It will have to be fast so it will have to be given to her while she's underwater. I guess that will be my role."

Jarl Skald nodded. "Yes, fine. You do that, Madena." He bowed to me. "Are you fine with this?"

I nodded. "Yes, and I will find a way to shield any seers from seeing that she wakes up. I have a good friend who can do stuff." And I meant it. Ruby might have a way of keeping seers from seeing things. It was at least worth a shot.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Not sure where I stand on the whole, ending the book early thing. People seem to be more concerned with Lydia and Asger having sex than the whole epic tale behind it. so...there it is._


	19. Ch 19: Execution

**Cearbhail:**_ XD I loved this chapter so much. Ok... so, I want everyone to know this. When they're doing their whole nodding thing, I want you to think of Star Wars episode 6, where Luke and Han are about to be sacrificed to the Sarlacc. It's almost the exact scene and picturing the music makes it a little more funny. Well, hope you enjoy the ending._

* * *

I contemplated that I should have written something in my journal, but right now, I was too busy to sit and wait. I guess I would write my thoughts later.

I walked outside the White Hall and the first thing I saw and heard was the Thalmor arguing with the cart vendor. He was looking down at the cart filled with rotten vegetables. "What do you mean you don't have any rotten tomatoes?"

The cart vendor shrugged in defeat. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but the farmers gave you all their rotten stuff yesterday. They did give you some rotting berries, though, and some grain."

The Thalmor picked up a snowberry and squashed it in his fingers. "You want me to validate pelting the witch with…little berries? There is no shame in that, it won't even hurt! And grain? What are we going to do with grain?"

The cart vendor shrugged again. "You could make some rice balls to throw at her. Other than that, if there's a wedding going on, I guess you could just throw the rice at her."

He sighed in defeat. "We will not throw rice at her, but eggs, I will allow. Go collect some eggs."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, milord. The farmers are not willing to give you their eggs. None of them have gone bad."

The Thalmor grunted in disgrace and walked away. "I'm surrounded by incompetent fools." He turned and saw me standing by the doorway. He smiled and said, "Fair lady. Please tell me that you have good news."

I forced myself to bow and even to smile. I really wanted to kill this guy but I guess this plan was good enough. I rose from my bow and said, "I do, milord. The Jarl has approved her execution. It will be tonight."

He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Why not right now?"

I managed to keep my cool. I could have just killed him with my bare fists, but for some reason I continued to believe in the fact that we could get away with everyone thinking that my daughter was killed. I stepped back, lowering myself into a deep bow. "He said this was the compromise. He would do the execution today as opposed to doing it in six days, as previously scheduled. He said that he would choose the time and said that he will talk to you later about it."

He waved me away. "I guess it's better. Thank you, fair lady. I will take care of the rest." He walked past me and into White Hall, leaving me outside.

I walked up to the cart and looked down at it. "Is all this really gathered to throw at the child?"

The cart vendor shook her head in disgust. "You know, we actually had to burn all our rotten crap just to make sure that this torture could not continue any more than past one day. Everyone pitched in and offered all this wheat and berries just to spite the elf."

I nodded. I looked her in the eye and said, "Thanks." And I stepped away. It was nice to know that this town wasn't doing all this because they wanted to.

Something caught my eye. I looked back at the cart vendor and saw I remembered seeing that face before. I walked back and looked her in the eye again. "Wait. Aren't you?"

She nodded and put her hand to my mouth. "We might have someone 'watching' us. Just go about your business and tell me later about what's going on."

I nodded and walked away. Man, Rikke looked so much different with her hair unbundled and without her imperial steel armor. Too bad I couldn't sit by and chat with her. If a seer found Cecilie in this town and sent a Thalmor to kill her, then that same seer could watch me and everything I did. I had to be careful. I could not allow someone to screw around with my friends. This was war to me.

As I came up to the inn, I opened the door and rushed inside. The bartender from earlier gave me a quick nod and said, "Ma'am, your husband's awake and looking for you."

I decided to not correct him on the 'husband' remark. He probably hear the thumping we did the night before and just assumed there was some relationship there. There was also a 'wooo' in that thumping we did, so…I guess there was no hiding it.

Just as I turned around, I saw Asger coming into the room. He smiled and made his way over to me. He started by standing a few…meters away from me, looking completely awkward. "Um…did we…?"

I nodded. "Yeah…we did."

The bartender pretended to not notice. "Yeah, I think we all know what you two did last night."

I looked back at him. "Thanks for your input."

He smiled at me and said, "Would you two like a few…hundred drinks? It will help."

Asger chuckled. He raised his finger to tell him to wait for a second. "I might, thanks."

The bartender nodded and began wiping down a shot glass for him. He was about to earn some money.

I turned to Asger and said, "So, what are we going to do? What happens if I get pregnant?"

He shrugged. "Get married? I guess."

I nodded. "We'd have to. I can't risk a premarital birth."

The bartender sighed and shook his head. "Wow you kids are worrying to much about this. It's not like you two are a king or queen. It's not like the kid might be stoned to death for a premarital birth."

Asger looked over at him. "Why does that matter so much anyway? What is so wrong for a Jarl to have a premarital birth?"

The bartender actually chuckled at that. "Their children aren't recognized as part of the royal family." He said as he continued cleaning the table.

Esbern started walking down the stairs. He looked at me and Asger and nodded a welcome. Ruby was right behind him, smiling at me as she started walking down the stairs. I could see that her face was actually clean for once. She did have burnt orange fur after all. She was also wearing a new pink dress.

I pointed at her and said, "Got yourself cleaned up?"

She smiled and bowed. "I have decided to live, so I decided to care about how I present myself." She danced around the step. "You like my new dress?"

I nodded. "Yes, it looks nice. It still looks like it's made from cow hide, though."

She smiled. "I hunted down a deer last night and carved out my new dress. And then I stained it pink again, using snowberries as a dye."

I shook my head. I had no time for this. I walked up to her and grabbed her by her claws. "Ruby, I need a favor."

She nodded. "Sure…anything. What do you need?"

"We need a bunch of stuff that can block seers. We need to block the whole town and Cecilie personally." I offered to her. "Do…you know a way to do that?"

I saw the color drain from her face. She pulled away from me and carefully made the rest of the way down the stairs. She allowed herself to catch her breath before she sat down on a bench. "You remember that I'm not a great crystal shaman, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, but if we don't try something, this town will be destroyed. And then…everything we did in the temple will be for nothing." I started thinking back to Cecilie saying that Dawnstar was destroyed in her time. If I could change that…make it so that it was not destroyed…then I had a chance to change the future. I had to do this. I had to make this future the best that we could produce.

Ruby exhaled before pulling the sack off her back. "I sold some of my soul gems earlier but I kept that greater soul gem you handed me. If I can fuse some amethyst and malachite to the soul gem and then feed my energy into it…I think I can produce a giant transmitter. Then…all we have to do is spread some programmed amethyst and malachite around town and that should create a giant bubble shield. The effects will be invisible to anyone inside town and the seers who are spying on us won't see anything. It will be all one giant blur. It might work."

The bartender stood there, wiping his glasses down. He finally looked down at Ruby in surprise. "A Khajiit that talks in first person…amazing."

She growled and looked back at him. "Yeah, I speak normally."

Esbern shook his head. "Everyone in the Aldmeri Dominion is looking for me. If they had seers, they would have found me a long time ago. No…this has to be some sort of coincidence. Maybe the Thalmor want to kill all seers because of their ability to actually affect the future? I know that if I was some Thalmor agent and I happened across a blind girl playing a game like she could actually see…I would be very suspicious about it."

Ruby looked less worried. "Ok, they might have seers, but they can't be that good at their jobs." She looked around and started rummaging through her bag. "I need to get started. I have plenty of amethyst and malachite. I can do this, I just need a few hours."

I smiled. "You have until tonight at sunset to program and set them. The Jarl is doing his own thing, preparing my daughter for her execution until then."

Asger looked furious. "What? She's going to die tonight?"

Esbern squinted his eyes in return. "I'm guessing Lydia would not be going through all this crap if she did not have a solid plan. I'm guessing the Jarl is helping us?"

I nodded. "Yes. He has a plan and I will not openly state it."

Asger smiled. "So…we should start planning our execution then."

…

_Dear journal,_

_You cannot believe just how long a day it has been. So much stuff has been done in preparation for this execution. I am only hoping that everything goes according to plan._

_Asger is not happy with our plan. So much could go wrong. He brought up that the Thalmor might snap her neck upon inspection or just stab her, just to make sure that she's truly dead. I immediately slapped him across the face, saying 'Don't jinx us'._

_Well, everything is ready. We have a solid plan and I pray to every one of the Gods…I hope this works._

_Lydia.._

_…_

My friends and I all started forming up around the beach. Off in the distance, I could see the ship that Cecilie had been transported on out to the ocean. We were just far enough that we could see them. Standing at the end of a plank, with her hands tied behind her back and a rock tied to her feet, was my daughter. She was glancing down at the water with disinterested eyes. I can understand that. I don't think I'd be very happy about that either.

Asger sat near the end of the dock, playing his lute. He was trying to get his attention off the execution and no matter how fast he played his lute, he couldn't force himself to bring a smile to his face, or take his eyes off the plank. The melody itself was very upbeat but carried a darker message behind it.

So, when Jarl came up to the plank with the Thalmor right beside him, everyone talking amongst themselves quieted. I looked out to all of us and said, "People of Dawnstar. For months we've been plagued by nightmares and now…they've ended. But…we cannot house those who can create more. It is for this reason this witch…must die. She had suffered our pelting long enough and now is being condemned in drowning in the lake. If she escapes, then she will be burned on the cross." He looked down at Cecilie and said, "May you drown and not resurface alive."

This was the moment I was waiting for. The Jarl looked over at me, just the briefest of glances and…nodded.

I, in turn, looked over at Ruby and arched my eyebrows. This was a planned event that all of us had a part in. If Ruby nodded, then she could feel all the crystals creating a bubble around the town. If she did not, then we were risking this event to the eyes of seers.

Ruby nodded in reply, so I looked over at Rikke. Rikke had the role of making sure that the Thalmor had a courier to deliver the message back to the Thalmor Embassy. She was volunteering Hadvar as the role. He was going to read the message and alter it so that it read that Cecilie was found dead. Just in case the herb did not work.

Of course, the Jarl's earlier nod was to let me know that his court wizard was in position and ready to do her job. We did not tell Cecilie anything, she was going to find out the hard way what was going on. We wanted her reaction to be as real as possible.

Rikke nodded back. Then I looked over at Asger and I nodded. This was my cue to tell him to send the 'ok' back to the Jarl. Everything was going according to plan. Asger nodded back to me (just to let me know he understood) and then, strummed his lute as loud and annoying as he could. The Jarl heard the noise nodded back to me. In short; we were ready.

Then, he walked up behind Cecilie and pushed her off the plank. She let out a bloody murderous scream as she fell into the cold icy waters underneath the boat.

Everyone screamed out in horror. People cried out "You bastards!" Some cried out "You deserved it!" Everyone else just wrapped up in someone's arms and hugged close. Some people cried. Me? I ran over to Asger and wrapped myself in his arms. I know we hadn't been as close as some couples because of the nature of our relationship, but at that moment you could not tell us apart from any other couple. I cried and he rubbed the back of my head telling me that everything would work out fine.

We continued to stand there for almost half an hour. The Thalmor smiled and said, "That's long enough for any amount of magic to wear off. The cold temperatures themselves would have taken care of it." He looked over at the Jarl and said, "Please be so kind as to have your court wizard to fetch her out, will you?" He stepped away from the plank. "I have to announce her death."

So, we all met up on shore. A soaking wet Madena came walking out of the lake with a pale and limp body that used to be Cecilie. She brought the body before the Thalmor and bowed to him. "I found her body. It looked like she struggled to untie the cord. She managed to get her hands free."

The Thalmor nodded. "Put her down, please."

Madena nodded and lowered the body down. The Thalmor inspected the body, looked at the eyes and checked for a pulse. "It is definitely her body and she has no pulse." He pulled out his sword and brought it to Cecilie's neck.

My heart caught in my throat. What? What was this? He had the blade of the sword to my daughter's throat. Was he going to do what I thought he was going to do?

He brought the blade straight down, chopping the head off. I screamed out in horror as did the rest of the group around me. My scream was so outweighed by everyone else that the Thalmor did not even notice me within the crowd. He did it! He actually just killed my daughter. Her head was cleared right off the body.

The Thalmor bastard cleaned his blade on her dress and returned his sword to his sheath. He smiled to the Jarl and said, "There, she's dead for sure. No coming back from that." He bowed to us all, not even noticing our sickened faces. "I will be on my way back now."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Hmm... I'm not sure that was part of the plan. Man, bet no one saw that coming._


	20. Ch 20: Funeral

**Cearbhail:**_ A very short chapter. I guess it's as long as I need it to be._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I can't believe it. I'm attending my own daughter's funeral…and she's not even born yet. Is this what the future entails? Is this the magical power of fate? That I see my daughter, who came back in time, die? I wonder how that affects the future? Will, I never know? Will she bow to me when I tell her to go back in time…just so I can never see her again? I mean, she only went back in time because I told her to. What is so important that I would send my own daughter back in time just to see her die?_

_No one is happy. The Thalmor was more than pleased from all of our expressions, the pure hatred in our eyes, that he left without question. Well, after he spat on her corpse, he left. He looked at Asger and gave him a look that said that he was next on their list. I guess they still know his face well enough. I'm surprised that he didn't start something with Asger as well._

_Anyway, the night Cecilie was beheaded Asger and I just spent the whole night comforting each other. We didn't really talk as much as just held each other close. It didn't help any. I became so close to that child that when I saw that sword come down, I felt my own head get chopped off. I don't think I'll ever be the same._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I wrote that entry hours ago. I wrote it as soon as I woke up. I was certain that I was going to be a wreck all day long. I was right. Not even minutes from leaving my room, Ruby nodded to me.

"You look like me when you first met me." She offered up with a small smile. She was dressed in a black robe that she was given by the Jarl. I could see the tear stains in her fur, where she tried to cover it up with dirt.

I petted her on the head. "Come on, Ruby. We have a funeral to attend."

So the two of us walked outside, joining the rest of the town as they gathered around the plaque. Asger was already ahead of us, playing a somber tune on his lute. He was also dressed in a dark robes.

Esbern joined us shortly, already packed and ready to leave. Once we were done with this funeral, we were leaving straight for Riverwood. I could not wait to be done with this town. This entire place was nothing more than a curse on us. Dawnstar. It had such a promising name, but it delivered nothing but empty promises.

Now, we were all behind White Hall, looking at the four statues. They were all statues of Cecilie, carved in ice. Ice that would never melt because we were as far north as we could be. Here we were now, in a group, looking down at a grave. This was no ordinary grave, though. This was a memorial site. It happened like this.

"_IISS_!"

Ice flew out of Asger's mouth and covered the entire area in front of him. When the ice cleared, you could easily see Cecilie as she was when we first saw her. She was covered head-to-toe in heavy armor: the very look that made her so impossibly cute yet…not intimidating.

"_IISS_!"

A statue right next to it was a little different. It was Cecilie smiling and pointing her finger, like she always did when she was getting ready to tell me something involving her past…and by past I mean stuff that will not happen until later in my life.

"_IISS_!"

In between the statues was a plaque. Asger actually unsheathed his knife and started carving into the ice plaque.

_Here lies Cecilie Battle-Born_

_Beloved daughter of Asger the Dragonborn and Lydia Battle-Born_

_Born sometime 4e 205 died Last Seed 7th, 4e 201_

_Don't ask us how…we don't know either_

_Look behind this plaque_

Of course, behind the plaque was another plaque. This one was carved in a glass material. It went on to explain Cecilie's role in saving Dawnstar, helping the Empire and finally ending with her being executed for being a witch. Asger created more ice sculptures of her in the stocks and one of her standing on a plank, preparing to be pushed overboard. He believed that even if this event was as upsetting as it was, it was just the reminder this city needed to have. A constant reminder of how they let all this happen in order to not push any buttons. Jarl Skald was more than happy to let us create the memorial for her. We needed it.

So, we all gathered around a small group to grief. I allowed myself to cry. Asger hugged me close and I could see him cry as well. Neither of us had anything else to say, though. There was no humor to be found here. Hadn't been all day. All the crazy stuff we'd been though meant nothing at the moment. It was at times like this that I expected Asger to give one of his bardic speeches to lift my spirits. It seemed that he was just as disheartened as I was. He couldn't even talk. Those Shouts he did were so forced that I doubt he could talk.

Ruby stood quietly by my side, as was Esbern. Ruby wasn't crying, not really, but I could see the pain on her face. I mean, she really didn't know Cecilie that well, so I couldn't hold it against her. Esbern was stone-faced. It seemed that he'd seen too much pointless death to let this one affect him any more than before. Rikke and Hadvar were a different story, though. They were openly grieving for their lost friend and ally. She worked for them for at least a week before resigning to be with her parents. Not even a month had passed she was already dead.

No speeches were given. No one talked about her past.

Well, until Asger stood up in front of everyone. I almost wanted to stop him from saying anything, but this was exactly the crazy event that I needed. Maybe he was going to say something stupid like 'pancakes'. Or maybe he was going to give an empowering speech to get people's spirit's up.

When he got to the front of the group, he cleared his throat. "I'm sure that most of you don't know this but…"

His words were cut off as he slipped on some loose ice. He was instantly off his feet and on the ground. "Thalmor's word! That hurt." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

He stood up and cleared his throat. "For all of you who did not know…Cecilie was my daughter. She came from the…"

I stopped him. I actually walked up and threw my hands around him. I held him close and leaned into his ear. "No. Asger, now is not a good time to tell everyone about what's going on. If we want to honor her memory, we'll keep it to ourselves."

Asger nodded and went back to his speech. "She came from Whiterun to see us. She was a powerful seer, one that the Thalmor feared. That was why they wanted her dead. Now…I will not stop until the Thalmor was dealt with. They've caused me too much pain. I am the Dragonborn and I swear this: I will save Skyrim by getting rid of our enemies. The Thalmor just barely make it to the top of my list, right below the dragons plaguing us."

Everyone nodded. They seemed to understand him. I smiled in return. This was the sort of thing I wanted to hear. Asger was turning this funeral into a rally. He was getting everyone up on their feet, preparing for some cause. In this case, he was trying to get this town rallied against the Thalmor. I almost wanted to raise my hands and cheer as well. I really wanted to get these Thalmor for what they did, but it didn't feel right.

Then my thoughts went back to this town being destroyed. My daughter told me that this town did not exist in her time, so I had to believe that this was the thing that was going to get the town destroyed.

Asger raised his fist up and clenched it tight. "No one has the right to kill an innocent child. She wouldn't have been a threat if there was nothing to threaten. If these Thalmor were so honorable, why did they have to fear an eleven year-old girl?" Asger shook his head. "No, no more running, no more hiding." He looked over at Rikke, "We will need the Empire," He looked over at the Jarl. "We will need the Stormcloaks. If we join together and fight the Thalmor, we can kick them out of our country once and for all!"

Rikke nodded. She looked over at Asger and said, "I'll see if I can get General Tullius to agree to it. The Thalmor will not get away with this. General Tullius would have never agreed to this execution. Not to an Imperial Seer."

Jarl Skald looked slightly worried. "Sure, we will do just that." He walked up to me and Asger. "Can I see you two inside? I have to tell you both something." He looked around everyone. "In fact, you all need to know this."

He pointed us to look at the back entrance to the White Hall. The door opened up and Madena walked out. She was holding someone's hand. She poked her head out of the doorway.

She smiled and said, "Mommy? Daddy? I'm sorry for deceiving you both."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ok... not sure how many people I got with my prank. Step one: seem upset and consider closing my book series. Step two: make it look like Cecilie's going to die. Step 3: fake her death. Step 4: have a funeral. Step 5: at the end of the chapter reveal that she's alive. Not sure how many people I fooled or even planted a seed of doubt._

_(sigh) If only I were so easily unweathered... but anyway, I tried my best to play a joke and I cannot wait to hear the hatred mail for this one. I'm sure to be laughing my own arse off for once. :P_


	21. Ch 21: Thank the goat

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, back to the story now. Can't really say what goes on here, other than you know, finding out why Cecilie had to decieve her own family into thinking she was killed._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_What the hell just happened? I'm writing in you at the very second that I found out that Cecilie was still alive. Here we were, attending her funeral when all of the sudden, she comes walking through the backdoor unharmed. She was dead. Yet, here she is…wearing a new dress, smiling like a Daedra, glaring up at me with her sparkling white eyes, and talking…_

_I just saw her head get lobbed off last night! What the heck happened? I don't know, but I want to find out, like right now._

_Lydia.._

_…_

Asger walked in front of me, pushed me a little off to the side as he glanced at Cecilie. I heard him sniffle a cry and then he charged past me. He ran up to Cecilie in the girliest method I've ever seen a man run in. If I could put a moment in slow motion and write 'girly' all over it…this would have been it.

But it was a Kodak moment. He ran up to her, scooped her into his arms, and spun her around in circles. Both of them were laughing. Everyone else, myself included, continued to stand here by the memorial site that was built just for her. I actually saw a few people look over at the statues and then back at her. There were a lot of confused people.

Finally, Rikke stepped forward. "Ok, ok…what is going on? Who is that? Is that really Cecilie?"

Cecilie nodded. "Yes, captain. It's me."

"Prove it." Rikke said, crossing her arms in disbelief. I wanted to see this too.

Cecilie smiled evilly. "Just remember that you asked." She stepped forward and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Legate Rikke has a crush on Galmar Stone-Fist…and Had…"

Rikke lowered down and muffled Cecilie. "Ok, ok, ok. You've proven it. You're her." She released her hand but Cecilie wouldn't be silenced.

"var!" She finished, flashing her bright white teeth to Rikke in an innocent smile.

Rikke's face turned brighter than any face that I've ever seen before. She looked down at Cecilie in a possible stare that I thought could have killed her. Cecilie only continued her ridiculous smile and eventually got Rikke to give up the frowning contest.

Hadvar walked up beside Rikke and said, "So…want to get an ale later?"

Rikke jabbed her elbow into his side, making him double over in pain. She placed her boot on top of his head and said, "You never address a superior like that never like that. Got it?"

Hadvar nodded, grabbing his stomach in pain. "Yes…ma'am."

She cleared her throat. "That being said…" I saw her blush. She looked away and said, "Yes, I would like to have an ale with you. We'll have one before we leave to give our report to General Tullius."

I continued to stand there, completely dumb-founded. She was really there. She looked exactly the same, only bruised and very pale. She didn't have any lines around her neck where her neck was cut. She was like how she was right before she was thrown into the ocean. I wanted to go talk to her, to embrace her, but my feet seemed like they were glued to the floor.

Esbern actually nudged me forward. When I turned to look at him, and pointed his eyes at Cecilie and said, "Go say hi already."

So, I stepped forward, surprised how fast a slow crawl could turn into a near flash. I ran down, scooped her up, and hugged her close. I never wanted to let go of her ever again.

"Mommy…a little less? You might do what the Thalmor tried to do…" She cried out in a muffled gasp.

So, I released her from my hold and settled for asking, "How?" Oh, heck I didn't really care. I was just glad to have her in my arms, breathing and alive.

She smiled. "Oh…that was the plan the whole time. I'm sorry I had to deceive everyone. I'm sure your plan of feeding me an herb to fake my death was good, but I already knew he was going to cut off my head. So…after I jumped, Madena swapped my body for one she had been working on all day. The body had been altered using a combination of Illusion and Alteration magic. It was made to look exactly like me. Funny enough, it was a goat when she started. So, I pulled off my dress and placed it over the goat's corpse and just…admired my tactical mind. Then, we swam off to a tent that she had set up. An Imperial camp that Rikke was using to housing her Imperial takeover from. I warmed myself next to the cinder pit and changed into my new dress."

I shook my head. "So that Thalmor believed that you had died, but the entire time he was inspecting a dead goat."

"Mm-hmm." She nodded.

And then I looked up at Asger. "And you didn't tell us, why?"

She tilted her head to the side. "They knew who I was. I know I'm somehow related to you and the Dragonborn. I don't know how they know, but I think it's the seers. So, I had to make it seem like I really died, even when you guys were trying to save me. I knew real expressions of loss and hatred would make him believe that he won. That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you wouldn't truly express loss unless you thought it was real. I'm just upset that I couldn't come out in the open until the next day. I wanted to tell you all that I was still alive, but we don't know how many Thalmor were watching. This site has been cleared. I looked ahead. They are convinced I'm dead. I'm safe for now."

I shook my head again. This was way too wild. "How long have you been planning this?"

She cocked her head to the side again and started thinking. "The night I told you that I was going back to Dawnstar. I had a vision of the Thalmor killing an innocent person. The Thalmor had heard rumors of the Dragonborn coming into town, so he wanted to know where he went. So…I thought if I showed up, it would give him someone to pick on. True enough, he picked on a little blind girl. The Thalmor have a big hatred for seers and I knew this. If I went back down, I was sure to be his target. I knew I could take it. I did not know how hard it would have been though. Some parts of that punishment were scary. Luckily, I already told the Jarl about everything that was going to transpire and he played his part to the letter."

She chuckled and put her hands behind her head. "I love being a seer."

I hugged her into my chest. "You know how much you scared me?"

She sighed. "You know how much of that went according to my master plan? Now mommy might become pregnant two years early. Yay!"

Everyone in town heard that. I looked over at their faces, most of which were looking at me now. The bartender that I had talked to earlier smiled and started chuckling. "Oh…that explains a lot."

Asger scooped us both up in his arms. "I'm just happy we're all still alive."

Ruby smiled and shook her head. She looked back at Esbern and said, "Are they always like this?"

Esbern shrugged. "I've only been with this group as long as you have, Ruby. You know them just as well as I do."

Ruby smiled and crossed her arms. "And I wouldn't change it for the world."

…

_Dear journal,_

_I have some time to actually write in you now. So, we kept the memorial site up, but now there have been statues of the goat added to the site itself. It was now honored to the goat who saved Dawnstar. I could not think of a better thing to do but to hold a funeral for the goat…but we really had to get going._

_I am happy to announce that we're finally on the right road to Riverwood. Legate Rikke is still on her way to report to General Tullius over the attempted murder of Seer Cecilie. Asger was not kidding when he said that we were still going to get the Thalmor for what they did. My daughter went through Oblivion for no good reason. The worst part is, I won't let her out of my sight because I'm afraid that she'll morph into a goat's body and end up being the person who really died the whole time. Or maybe I'll just wake up from this dream and attend her funeral again. I don't know. The shock needs to wear off first._

_As much as I hate to say it, we're actually almost there. It's normally around this time that something…_

_Have to go_

_Lydia._

_…_

I closed my journal in a hurry and looked up to the sky. I heard that roar. I knew what that was. There was no hiding a dragon's roar.

Asger smiled and said, "Oh yeah. Haven't fought one of these in a long time. Not since Riften."

I looked back at him. "That was only three weeks ago, Asger."

He nodded back. "I know. I once fought three dragons in one week. Only killed one, though. The other ones flew off. Bastards!" He screamed at the sky. "I want your soul. Give me your soul!"

A giant fireball flew over our heads and exploded behind us. Asger looked back and then up at the mountain and trees in front of us. "Afraid to fight us man-to-dragon?"

I looked over at Asger and said, "Hey…maybe we shouldn't. I mean, we just got our daughter back."

He nodded. "I know…but I'm just so tense from living through that oblivion. I need to loosen up. I need a good fight."

Cecilie wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble."

Ruby laughed and said, "It's fine." She looked up at the trees and said, "I wonder what dragons taste like."

Asger smiled. "Just think about this, Ruby. They eat gold and their scales are worth hundreds."

I could see the sparkle in Ruby's eyes. She reached in her bag and pulled out two daggers. She nodded to Asger and said, "Let's go kill a dragon!"

The two of them screamed out,  
charged up the hill, and into the trees. I stood there with Cecilie wrapped in my arms.

"_YOL TOOR!"_ I heard in an alien language. All the sudden, I saw trees light up on fire and something further back exploded.

"Oh my gods…your leg!" I heard. It was Ruby.

"It's a flesh wound, I swear!" Asger called back.

"_Wuld!" _I heard Asger call out.

"Ah man, you just barely missed!" Ruby said.

"_YOL TOOR!" _That sounded like the dragon.

Another flame plumed up.

"Ruby! Oh my gods…Ruby speak to me." I heard Asger cry. "NNOOO!"

I heard the dragon bite something and I think I heard something being swallowed. I looked over at Esbern, who was looking up at the trees, hoping to see a hint of the dragon.

"No, spit her out. You spit her out right now." Asger called.

I looked over at Esbern and said, "I really need to go in there and save them." It sounded like Ruby had just been eaten by a dragon. I could not just stand here and wait for Asger to do something about it.

Esbern held his hand out to halt me from moving. "Hold on…I think I know where this is going."

"Don't walk away from me. Eat me…EAT ME." Asger yelled from the distance.

Then I heard some teeth clamp down on something else. Then I heard swallowing.

Then, there was no noise at all. Did…did Asger just allow himself to be eaten by a dragon? No…there was no way he'd do such a thing. I looked down at my daughter, happy to see that she was in fact, still alive. She glanced up at me and smiled. I bet she knew what I was thinking at that very second.

Esbern pointed up toward the top of the hill. "See…there? There's the dragon."

I looked up the hill and sure enough, I could see it. It was a giant lizard covered in black scales with wings that looked massive enough to knock down a building with. It was looking right at us with its dark red eyes. Even from this distance, I could see the beady eyes looking right through my soul. The dragon took off to the sky flying right down to us. It flew over our heads, spun around, and came right over to us. I could see a fire brewing in his mouth. Oh crap, he was going to burn us.

"_IISS_!" I heard from a muffled sound inside the dragon's belly.

Apparently, the dragon was confused. The fire in his mouth stopped forming, he looked down and then he hollered out in pain. Its wings folded and it fell to the ground. When it landed in the ground, the midsection shattered into a hundred pieces. I shielded my eyes from the gut explosion.

I heard a triumphant high-pitched call and looked over at the remainders of the dragon. Both Ruby and Asger were walking out of the stomach. Both of them were covered in green dragon slime. Ruby was holding a giant collection of gold in her dress, smiling up at Asger.

"Thanks for telling me he eats gold. That was so worth ruining my new dress over." She looked back at the dead dragon. "That must be at least 4,000 gold. I sure hope I have enough room in my sack for all that, what I already have, and some of these scales." She chuckled. "I can't wait to get to Solitude." She said that last part with a sing-song voice.

I looked down at her. She was covered in green dragon slime. But she looked so happy about it. I shook my head and said, "Did you plan on being eaten?"

She nodded. "Once I heard that he ate gold, I wanted to see how much gold. I couldn't risk Asger blowing up anything that I did not want to keep. What if he ate something extremely valuable, like a gold ingot? Or even some valuable crystals?" She reached down into the dead dragon and pulled out a large diamond. It was almost as big as her hand. "Like this diamond? I do. I really like this diamond. I'm keeping it."

Asger looked back at the dragon and said, "Now…time for me to eat." He opened his mouth and started inhaling. The dragon burst into flames, golden flames. The scales burned off like pure energy, energy that flew from the bones and straight into his mouth. Once the whole thing was done, he patted his stomach and said, "Oh, now I got a full belly."

Ruby shook her head and looked down at herself. She sighed and walked over to the river. She smiled and said, "Now…I need a bath, so do all my new gold coins. Who's hungry? I'm buying." She chuckled as she ran over to the river that we were following back to Riverwood.

Asger walked up to me and kissed me. I tried to fight against it, only because he was covered in goo.

He smiled and pulled me in. "Don't fight it. Just let it happen."

"No!" I screamed. I grabbed him by the arm, twisted free from his hold and pushed him into the river. He tripped over the kneeled over Ruby and took a dive. They both ended up in the river. When he stood up, he was laughing. Ruby crawled out of the water laughing as well. Asger waved for me to come join him.

He said, "You wanted a day at the beach, well…" He waved around. "Let's take a little break here and enjoy this warm weather."

For once I allowed myself to just relax. We just went through a horrible few days, I guess we needed a moment to just cool off.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I have no idea what I should do next. Maybe I'll take this time to work on the Rouge Shadowscale for once or maybe even the Shoutmen. I'll probably post a new chapter in two days._


	22. Ch 22: Ladies day

**Cearbhail:**_ Yay, a new chapter. I liked this one. I bet you can guess about what goes on just by the name of the title. I can assure you that whatever you're thinking these girls do on their day off is probably wrong. Well, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal, _

_Our day at the beach was actually nice. I guess goofing off after living through all the crap we've been through is well deserved. There was enough dragon scales and meat left for us to have a decent dinner too. Ruby was more than happy to have some dragon scales to throw into her bag._

_Once our day at the beach was finished, we camped out overnight. Staring out at the stars was nice…but I never really noticed how cold it gets at night. I think that's only the case because we've never stayed out at night. There are rumors that if you stay out at night that you'll run into werewolves or vampires. Or at least something just as bad. But…sadly nothing interrupted our night._

_So, we found ourselves back at Riverwood. Asger, Esbern, and Delphine are having their 'talk' right now, downstairs in the basement. I don't know what's going on down there…I'm not allowed to know. So, instead, I'm having a girl's day out with Cecilie and Ruby. I don't know what we're going to do yet, but I guess we'll find something._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and looked over at Ruby and Cecilie. Both of them were sitting down to a game of cards. The look of Ruby's face was a priceless one. She was pissed. Pissed that everything she tried would be beaten by something Cecilie would draw. I wondered why Ruby continued to challenge Cecilie to more games. I guess they were bored.

I closed my eyes in thought. What could I possibly do with these two? I guess we could just walk around town as see about doing something. Ruby probably would want to cash in some of her stuff and probably buy more new clothes. Her newer dress was already ruined. I'm surprised she hadn't already gone out and killed another deer to replace it. Perhaps I could get her to just buy a dress instead of making her own wraps. It had to be easier.

Cecilie was a lot easier for me to handle than Ruby. She pretty much took care of herself but still enjoyed staying around me almost every second of the day. I wondered about that as well. Normal kids her age did not cling to their parents as much as she did. Maybe something happened to me and this was her way of getting to spend time with me.

I shook my head, forbidding myself from traveling deeper into that thinking pattern. Cecilie seemed to hide certain facts about myself and Asger from us, and every time I hinted to wanting to know about myself or him…she just changed the subject. I know it should make me curious, but I think I'd rather not know something for once.

I nodded to the two girls as I came up to them. "So…it's just us three for the day. So…what do you two want to do?"

Ruby smiled and stood up. She looked down at her dress. "I stained this while I was inside the dragon…now it smells like fish. I want a new deer skin."

I smiled. "How about a regular dress?"

She shook her head. "And you think you can find one that fits my figure? I'm not a human, I do have certain things that make me different. Fur that gets caught or rubs…my tail that just happens to stick straight out. Not to mention if I just started dressing like everyone else, I might just feel like something other than me."

Cecilie rolled her eyes. "I would not mind going shopping as well. But…what else is there to do?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know. This is a small town so I guess we could go around and play tourists."

So, the three of us walked outside. Ruby was the first person to do what she wanted so we were going hunting.

…

We found ourselves only a short distance away from town. Ruby was doing her tracking thing. She would sniff the ground, look at tracks, look up at the trees, sniff again, and then inch forward while staying on all fours. It was the weirdest thing, but I knew it had to work. She was good at finding food. Cecilie and I followed behind her as she slowly inched through the woods.

I looked up at the sky. An hour had passed already. My face was starting to turn red from all the sun exposure that I had never had to deal with before. Ruby had moved a whole…four meters since we started. Now, she was just lying flat on her stomach, just looking in front of her. Cecilie and I were sitting against a tree, looking at the falling leaves.

"Falling leaves, they dance to the music of the wind. They seem to live a short life, but the few moments they live are filled with joy and dancing." Cecilie was singing softly.

Ruby looked back at Cecilie and threw a rock inches away from her foot. "Shh…I'm stalking."

I looked up the hill. I could just barely see the head of an elk peeking over the crest of the hill in front of us. The elk was walking towards us, giving me a nonchalant glance, but not getting any closer. I looked down at Ruby, who's tail was twitching patiently. She was preparing to pounce, I could tell. Suddenly, Ruby sprinted from all flat to up to her feet. The elk was so surprised that it forgot to move as the skinny she-cat jumped up on the elk's back. "Gotcha now!" Ruby screamed.

The elk bellowed and started kicking, but Ruby had already sunk her teeth into the neck of the beast. Next she raked her claws through the throat. She spun herself to the side as the beast fell over. I stood up and chased after her, finding Ruby only a couple feet away from where she started. As I approached with an arrow loaded for the kill, I could tell that it was already dead. Ruby dusted her hands off and then patted the dirt off her clothes. She smiled up at me. "I think I have enough skin here to make two outfits."

Cecilie walked up, looking down at the elk. "Poor animal." She looked over at Ruby and looked away. "And to think that you wouldn't just buy a dress like everyone else."

Ruby smiled. "I think I'll make a double-layered skirt and a nice blouse this time. It's getting too cold for just dresses."

…

So, we spent the next couple hours helping Ruby stitch together her new skirt. The blacksmith was more than happy to help us make the animal pelt turn into fine leather. All he asked for in return was the meat from the elk, which we gladly gave to him. When it came time for Ruby to get her measurements done, the blacksmith's wife came over and measured everything. There turned out to be enough skin to make three outfits, so Ruby decided to use the remainder of her original two dresses to make into a hooded poncho to wear over her blouse. We still don't know what color she's going to dye them, if she is at all, but right now it looked like a weird combination of blood-red and dark leathery brown.

So, while Ruby was doing all that, I was shopping with Cecilie. She decided to buy herself a nice necklace. Even after all that, she still wanted do something she's never done before: craft her own enchanted weapon. She wanted to make it herself, with no help. She only wanted direction. So, once again, we found ourselves at the blacksmith, who allowed us to use the forge to craft our weapon. Once we got to the forge, the blacksmith pulled out a bunch of different ingots. I could tell exactly what they were. There were at least three of each type.

He started by smiling. "Here you go. Pick your metal carefully. You may want something harder and heavier or maybe something light." He pointed to the iron. "Iron, heavy but strong." He pointed to the steel. "Steel, even heavier but it's ok because its folded iron." Then he pointed to the golden metal. "This is Dwarven metal. It's very heavy but some of the strongest metal we have. It's very old so we know it does not rust like iron or metal."

Cecilie pulled up Ruby's bag. She poured out some citrine and amethyst. "I would like these melted down with some refined moonstone."

The blacksmith looked in awe. I don't think he's ever heard anyone requesting to melt down crystals into a blade before. He ran his fingers through the gold-sized crystals and looked over at her. Once he could see that the blind girl was being serious, he looked over at me. "Is…is this a test?"

I shrugged. I looked around. Man, it was a good thing Ruby wasn't here otherwise she would flip as seeing Cecilie offer up her crystals to be turned into blades. I decided that I couldn't let this happen. "Cecilie…these aren't…"

Cecilie smiled and looked up at me. "I would like two wakizashies, please." She said, looking back to the blacksmith.

He looked down at her and then back up at the crystals. "Well…there are definitely enough to make two swords….are you a duel wielder?"

Cecilie shook her head. "No, I'm a mage. My friend wanted me get her a crafted weapon so…I thought I'd make a blade using her crystals. I need you to teach me to craft the weapon she desires because I would like one for myself as well. I want to make my own sword, but I do not want to mess up hers…so I want you to craft hers instead. Ok?" Cecilie said, tilting her head to the side, giving the blacksmith her dog pout.

The blacksmith looked down at the crystals and then back up at my pouting daughter. Her big blind eyes finally won him over. He sighed and patted her on the back. "Come, young girl. I will teach you how to work the forge and anvil." He looked back at the young girl around Cecilie's age and said, "Come, Dorthe. Time you learn the ways of the blade." He looked up at the sky. "With dragons around, I may not always be here to teach you."

…

It was around the time that Cecilie was finishing up her own sword that Ruby walked outside the house wearing her new leather blouse and skirt. I was surprised by the color combinations. She decided to make one of the layers tan and the under-layer a brighter red. It looked surprisingly nice with her orange/white fur. Once she showed me her new outfit, she saw Cecilie pounding away at the anvil with Alvor.

She walked up to Cecilie and looked at the blade that she was working on. "Is that _my_ blade?" She asked, looking down at the rather pathetic excuse for a sword. She looked over at me with sad eyes. "It…looks…um…great. Thanks, Lilly."

Cecilie rubbed some sweat off her forehead. "I'm not working on yours. The blacksmith has yours already finished and hilted. I want to create my own sword for once."

Dorthe, Cecilie's newest friend, was still working on her new blade as well. Cecilie was kind enough to allow her to use the remainder of Ruby's citrine and amethyst to be melted down into the blade. I guess whatever Ruby doesn't know won't kill her…until she looks inside her bag at least.

Ruby walked over to Alvor, who was smiling from ear-to-ear. "So, you're the Khajiit who thought up the idea of using crystals to make weapons."

Her eyes blanked over. "What? Wait…I think I have fur in my ears." She made a visual display of cleaning her ears out. "Can you repeat that?"

Alvor looked less sure of what he wanted to say now. The focused look in Ruby's eyes said it all. This is not what she planned on getting. "You…you know what, nevermind. Here's your new wakizashi." He presented the sheathed weapon to her.

Ruby smiled and took the weapon from him. She unsheathed it and looked down at the blade. I could see that it glowed with a purple/yellow shine to it. Ruby's eyes drifted across the whole blade and her ears folded back. "CECILIE!"

I face-palmed. Great…just want I did not want to happen. There was no stopping it now. Ruby was now marching up to Cecilie, her face looked slightly flushed. I could not tell for certain; her fur was thick enough to mask whatever color she was turning. It did not stop me from seeing her fangs, her eyes sharpen, or her tail flicking dangerously. She grabbed Cecilie by her shoulder, pulling her away from the anvil. "What…What did you do?" She asked, her voice a whisper. I could not tell if she was trying to keep her voice under control or just in shock.

Cecilie smiled and pointed to her sword. "You asked for a sword so I thought I'd make one out of your crystals. You seem to like them a lot, so I thought I'd just make a weapon you'd really love."

Ruby had to let herself breathe for a couple minutes. She finally hugged Cecilie close and said, "Thank you…for the thought." Then she walked away. Cecilie smiled evilly and went back to smacking her new sword into a shape. Dorthe was also chuckling to herself as well. She understood what had just happened.

Dorthe smiled at Cecilie as Ruby started to walk away from the forge. "Thanks for the crystals for my new katana, Lilly."

Ruby paused as she stepped away. I saw her tail flick but she forced it to relax. She slowly continued her way down the road, Cecilie smiling to herself as she continued forging her weapon. I walked up to her and said, "Cecilie, that wasn't nice."

Cecilie smiled and pounded her chest. "We Nord girls need to stick together." She looked over at Dorthe and smiled. "I couldn't leave my new friend out in the rain with some iron stick. She needs a real blade."

Dorthe smiled. "Thank you, Lilly. I can tell that this sword will be great."

I sighed. "That is not the point. Those were not your crystals to sell off."

Cecilie looked up at the slowly disappearing figure that was Ruby. "Ruby needs that blade. She may not realize it yet, but she has just stumbled onto a new creation. Crystal swords…" She looked up at me. "They exist in my time. I never realized it before but the crystal shaman, Ja'ranjha is her daughter. I wondered where they learned their art. Khajiits are smart, but not that smart. This is where it starts…today. I just helped shape the world to be the best place it could ever hope to be."

I only shook my head. "You could have done it some other way, though." I said as I stepped away. I jogged to catch up to Ruby, who was now sitting by the river, looking at her new wakizashi. "Ruby." I said, calling her over to me.

Ruby looked up at me and I could see that she had been crying. She ran into my waist, hugging me close. "You know how much it hurt to see my crystals melted down? She took all of them. There wasn't a single rock left."

I rubbed the back of her head. "I understand. She wants you to…admire the sword you have."

Ruby nodded, still keeping her eyes closed as she cried. "I noticed it already. It holds a solid vibration that seems to connect to the wielder. I…didn't think of it earlier. I don't think I could have even considered fusing metal and crystals together to form a blade." Ruby directed my gaze over to a rock. "See that rock?"

I looked over at the rock. The whole thing was split in half. The ground around it was formed into a giant scar. "Yeah…I see it. What happened?"

She pushed herself away from me. "That was with one slash of my wakizashi. It just…glowed with energy and when I slashed with it, a purple blade extended off and cut through the whole thing. It exhausted me but…it was amazing." Ruby's eyes sparkled. "Then my sword talked to me. I could hear it guiding me, telling me things to improve my swordsmanship. If Cecilie planned this…I'm not too unhappy." She looked out at the river and I saw her hands clench. "But now I need to collect more things if I'm ever to get inside Solitude."

I pulled Ruby close. "Don't forget, we're in this together. We're a family. We'll all get to Solitude one day; you don't have to go alone."

She only nodded and lifted her sword. "Once I do get more crystals, though…I'm making everyone one of these swords. I should not be the only one with this power. That is unfair."

…

After I got Ruby and Cecilie back together the two of them hugged and made up. Ruby even decided to teach both Cecilie and Dorthe how to use their new blades to their best potential. By the time the sun set on the horizon, both Dorthe and Cecilie were able to swing energy off their blades. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Alvor did not seem all that upset that his daughter could fight, but his wife was not too pleased that her daughter was out swinging swords or playing in the dirt.

The three of us finished up our day sitting on the bridge that hung over the river outside Riverwood. We were eating some fresh frozen yogurt. Thanks to our little mage, the four of us just sat outside, looking at the sunset with our vanilla flavored cold treat. I'm not sure eating something cold in a cold place is the smartest thing to do, but this is the sort of thing I did with my mother at the end of a fun day. Back when she was alive, at least.

I looked down at my daughter, who was smiling. She was watching the sunset as if it was the first one she'd ever sat outside to watch. Ruby was slightly uninterested but happy to be here with us as well. Dorthe was just repeating what she did every night, I guess. It didn't really matter, though. Time spent with friends and family was better than just doing something by yourself anyway. And here I was, spending time with my two daughters and some neighborhood girl.

Ruby looked up at the sun and smiled. "If only I had some sunstone, I think I could make a sword three times as strong as the one I have now." Cecilie and Dorthe laughed, but I was still looking at the sunset. I wondered what Asger was doing right now.

Even as I thought it, I turned around and saw him walking up to us. He nodded to me. "Ok, we're done talking. I know…I'm sorry I kept us here all day. Did you guys have fun?" He looked down at Ruby and saw her new skirt. "Wow. That looks nice, Ruby. Not the usual peel and belt method? That looks stitched."

Ruby smiled and nodded. "Yes, the blacksmith's wife helped me make it."

He looked over at me. "So, what did you girls do all day?"

I shrugged. "You know…stuff. We hunted an elk, skinned it, and sold the meat. Then we made swords. You know…Nord stuff."

He nodded back. "Yeah…sounds like you ladies had a good day off."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: let me know what you thought of this chapter._


	23. Ch 23: Maleek: the shadowscale?

**Cearbhail:**_ A new chapter, a new character. Not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm sure there is something fun to be had with him. Maybe a romantic interest for Ruby later on. Not sure. Or they'll be like frenemies who bicker and compete with each other on a daily basis. The latter seems like more fun to me. I guess my fingers will decide their fate later on._

_Anyway, enjoy and please let me know what you think of the newcomer._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Last week was fun, but now it's back to business. A lot's happened in this one week so I haven't had time to write anything down. But, here's a recap of what's happened so far. So, Delphine is some older woman who has blond hair and wears leather armor. She also has a better figure than me. Am I jealous? No…maybe. Well, as long as Asger doesn't fall in love with her, I'm fine with it. She's way older than Asger anyway, so I'm hoping she's not a sabre cat…you know, an older woman who preys upon younger men._

_Well, as it turns out, that one day where I spent it all day outside with Ruby and Cecilie…Esbern and Delphine were sitting next to old dusty book all day long and discussing what they were doing. Delphine showed Esbern the documents that Asger gathered during his time at the Thalmor Embassy…never knew he went there. Seriously, why did he need a housecarl? He seems to get along just fine without having me around. He could have left me back in Whiterun but he just has to drag me around with him wherever he goes._

_So, the past week, we've been purposely heading into Forsworn territory to look for a wall that has some story written down. You know…a story that Esbern already knows the tale to but wants to make sure that it is in fact…a correct story of a wall that was written many centuries ago. My feet hurt, my back is starting to hurt and this armor is starting to feel heavy. We've encountered so many wolves that I'm sure Ruby's run out of room in her bag for all the new clothes she's been whipping up. Seriously, I don't care how enchanted a bag is…it can't hold up to 300 pounds of weight. I don't know where all her stuff goes, it just goes into her little backsack and I never see it again. But…it has to be in there somewhere!_

_Well, the rest of the week has been just as surprising. Dragons, random encounters with sabre cats and bears that just won't leave us alone. We ran into trolls, oddly enough. We've even ran into some royal fat-cat who has Imperial bodyguards._

_Yes, I'm a little upset today. Let's just say, I'm not the way I should be. I woke up and I'm supposed to be…um…nevermind. I guess it's still a little early and I can't dodge the arrow yet. I do have to keep watching though. If I let this slip by unnoticed, it will really come back to bite me in the back._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and leaned back against the rock I was sitting behind. The sun was high in the sky, making it nice and warm-ish for once. I almost felt like stripping down to just some robes, but I knew that as soon as I would take off this armor, some arrow would find its way into my chest. I would not tempt fate right now. It was already time for lunch and I was famished today. Luckily for me, Ruby was out hunting for food while Asger prepared the fire pit.

"_YOL!_"

Ok, fire pit was now prepared. I sighed as I closed my eyes for a minute. We hadn't been in an inn for days now. Delphine was convinced if we slept indoors that we'd be abducted by Thalmor. I tried to convince her that my little seer would warn us ahead of time about such dangers, but Delphine reminded me that she was already outwitted and pelted with rotten vegetables once. I had to remind her that my daughter planned that and then I remembered to inquire how she knew such a thing anyway. She admitted to reading my journal…and then she suggested that I take Asger out to the frozen tundra out north of Windhelm. Says that I would find a nice warm tent to spend the night with him there.

I tried to beat her up for reading my journal, but she was too much of a scrapper and threw me off. I would have beaten her in the fight after I dragged her down to the ground, but something she said made me get off her as fast as I could. Now, it wasn't so much a threat as saying that she doesn't swing that way but for me she'd make the exception. I was off her so fast I think I pulled a muscle just getting up. I think I threw up in my mouth a little as well. That was enough of a statement that would keep me from ever touching her ever again. The fact that she was serious  
when she said that worried me even more.

Well, I didn't have to worry about that. With the way that Delphine and Esbern lived every second close to each other, reliving their war stories, I was sure that they were at least involved with each other in the past. Delphine and Esbern looked very close these days. They talked to each other like old lovers who had a falling out, but still deeply cared for one another. It warmed my heart, seeing them attempt to be joyous with each other but both were so ruled by deception and paranoia that they could barely trust each other.

While I was relaxing and Asger was warming his hands by the rather large bonfire, our daughter was sitting down, inspecting her new wakizashi. She would look at the blade, swing it lightly as if testing it, and then went back to just looking at it. I wasn't sure if she liked her new sword. It took her forever to finish crafting it, well past after Dorthe finished hers. It still wasn't the best blade in the world and all Cecilie could think and talk about was getting to a grindstone and folding the weapon a few more times and sharpen it.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to just relax. There was plenty of time left before Ruby, Esbern, and Delphine would return. This was a moment I could take to talk to Asger for once. The past week was hard enough and I guess I could use some laughter. Anything he said was pretty much a joke these days. I think it has something to do with my growing annoyance with everyone. I just need a day away from all this stuff, or a new face to focus my attention on. I'm sure having someone new would make life a little more exciting.

"Excuse me…are you the Dragonborn?" A scratchy voice called from behind me.

I jumped at the call, throwing myself into a forward roll. I rolled on my knees and turned to face the person sneaking up behind me, my hand on my sheath.

There, standing on the branch sitting over where I was just sitting was a young green-faced Argonian wearing a black/purple scaly armor. He was covered in a plethora of weapons. He looked very young though, and his armor looked too big for him. Heck, he looked almost as young as Ruby, who had to be around 13 or something.

The Argonian looked up at me with his red unblinking eyes. "Are you the Dragonborn or not?"

I raised my eyebrows to him. "What if I am?" This could be my chance to have an interesting conversation.

"You die." He said, unsheathing a blade concealed in his leg. It was a throwing knife. He launched his knife forward, preparing to throw it right at me.

I raised my shield in preparation to deflect his knife throw. This was obviously a well-trained assassin forged in the pits of whatever was left of the Dark Brotherhood to come and kill Asger. I had to be on my guard, I could not let myself be fooled by any feints. If I even let up for a second, I could find myself taking my last breath.

As the Argonian prepared to throw, he leaned forward. His foot slipped forward and…off the thin branch he was standing on. He screamed out in surprise, his other leg falling off the opposite side. He fell surprisingly fast and landed heavily on the branch. I could hear him whimper out as he reached for his midsection. He slowly rolled off the branch, falling to the ground. Then, he screamed in pain, reaching for his leg. There, sticking out of his foot was the throwing knife he was preparing to throw at me only seconds before.

I lowered my shield. Was this the assassin that I was expecting? No…don't fall for it, Lydia. I raised my shield back up to protect my face. This was a well-trained assassin. Purposely falling onto his balls and then stabbing himself in the foot with his knife was a great way to make me believe that he was not dangerous. No…I had to kill him. I smiled. He thought he was so slick, inflicting pain on himself, screaming out in pain as he grabbed his foot. His tears were so fake that it surprised me that he thought I would fall for such a trick.

I stepped toward him and he glanced over at me. "Don't just stand there, pull this knife out!"

I scoffed and stepped back. "Good try, assassin. You won't get me with the same tricks that you probably pull on all the ladies. Looking like a kid was brilliant and pretending to be completely incompetent was also a good ploy. Sorry for you that you're dealing with me. I'm a little wiser than the normal idiot that you run into."

I looked around the campfire. I wondered why I hadn't heard anyone coming to help me. I guess while I closed my eyes, I guess I fell asleep along the way. The sun was a little more set and I was the only one around. I wondered everyone went. It wasn't like anyone to just leave me alone without telling me where they all went.

I looked back down at the assassin, seeing him finally grabbing the knife and yanking on it. He screamed out in pain and threw his leg out. "Seriously…help me!"

I stepped around him, bringing my shield back up. "As if…you just want me to lower my guard." I said. I knew that as soon as I lowered my guard he'd take that knife and stab me with it. I bet it was poisoned. Everyone knew that Argonians were resistant to many poisons so it would not hurt him to stab himself with a laced knife. But one brush on my skin could leave me paralyzed.

The Argonian sighed and lowered his leg down. He threw his hands up over his head. "Just…capture me already." He grabbed onto his hands and presented them to me. "Here, tie my hands up. Once you bound my hands, you can remove this knife!" He tried to keep his voice calm, but I could hear the rising irritation in his voice.

I slowly made my way up to him, my sword arm going for a small length of rope that I always kept around with me. Of course, what normal person did not walk around with rope? It was useful for almost any situation. So, I came up to him. His hands were still clamped shut and his eyes were bridling back tears. I took this opportunity to step down on his arms, pinning his hands to the snow.

The Argonian assassin child cried out in surprise, but he quickly silenced himself. "No…a shadowscale always keeps his composure." He said silently, letting a relaxing breath escape his mouth.

I bent down, dropped my shield and started wrapping his hands and arms up into a very complicated knot. Once I was done, I released his arms from my feet and grabbed him by his neck. I spun the assassin around, throwing his face into the snow. I took this time to tie his now tied arms behind his back. There, now he wasn't going anywhere.

"Spit out any hidden darts." I said.

The assassin looked back at me. "What? I don't have…"

I shoved his face into the snow. "No looking at me until you spit out your hidden darts!" I screamed at him.

"Mmm-mmmm." His voice seemed to scream through the snow. His body fidgeted as he tried to push his face out of the snow.

"Ok…there, I spat them out." He said as I brought his face out of the snow.

I looked down and saw nothing. "I don't see any darts."

He rolled his eyes. "They're assassin darts…they're invisible to the naked eye." His voice was filled with mysticism.

I pulled his face out of the snow and threw him up against the tree. "Ok, now we can get down to business. Hold still." I said as I reached down to the knife stuck in his foot. I gave it a good yank, pulling it straight out. The assassin cried out in pain as I did so, followed up with silent sobbing as I started dressing his wound.

A few minutes passed and I looked up at my new prisoner. "So…why are you trying to kill the Dragonborn? Are you a hired thug?"

He sighed. "My father works for the Dark Brotherhood…and he broke his foot. I saw this letter sitting on his dresser, assigned to him. It was orders from his leader. He had to go kill the Dragonborn, who has pissed off a lot of people. Since he couldn't complete the order, I thought I'd come and do the assignment for him while he heals."

I sighed. Wow, that was way too easy. I wasn't sure if I had to put the arrowheads to him to make him talk but the innocence of youth was still fresh in his character.

My new prisoner's mouth dropped as he realized what he did. "Wow…you're good. But you won't get anything else from me!" He screamed, his voice very deep and scratchy.

I just sat there, staring at him. "Well, we could do this the easy way or the hard way. The hard way involves a lecture about responsibility…the easy way involves food."

Just like any teenager, he groaned. "Ok…if you feed me, I'll tell you whatever you want to know…just don't lecture me."

I was happy Asger wasn't here. He'd probably give him a bardic speech about not giving into the whims of a captor. I started looking away. I was sure Asger would get back soon. The whole party had been gone for way too long and this was starting to seem more like a bad dream than anything else.

I looked back at the child. I no longer thought this kid could be an assassin. He was a son of an assassin. That explained his lack of experience or the fact that his armor did not quite fit his form. He continued to look off into space as I sat there, looking at him. He refused to look directly at me.

"So…an Argonian. Haven't seen much of your kind." I offered, trying to get him to say something.

"Expect me to kill you in your  
sleep?" He asked. He shrugged. "I might. I'm a scary lizard with plenty blades to kill you with." He hissed at me.

I shook my head. "You know…that's not what you want to say to a person who has spared your life." I offered back. "Now you'll just stay tied to that tree until my friends can decide what to do with you." I tilted my head to the side and brushed my hand across his face. His scales were so rough; dry with a pulling sensation to them. It was a weird feeling. "It would be easier to convince them to let you live if you give me a name."

"Maleek." He said. "My name is Maleek."

I patted him on the cheek. "Good boy." I walked over to the fire and started warming my hands. I looked back at him and said, "Once my friend gets back with some food we'll eat." I said, looking back at him.

…

I waited for about an hour. No one was back yet. The fire was slowly dwindling down, all the wood was almost burnt through. I wanted to go out and collect more wood, but I did not want this assassin to escape while I was gone.

I shook my head. No…he wasn't an assassin, he was a kid pretending to be an assassin.

"Lydia…I'm back." I heard Ruby call as she started dragging in a dead deer. She was calling in between breaths as she tried to pull the dead creature through the snow. "A…little…heeelllp!" She said, looking over at me.

I nodded as I walked up to her. I grabbed the beast and dragged it over to the fire. I started carving into it and said, "What would you like to keep? I know you hunters have your…"

"The liver." Ruby said, reaching into the deer's stomach. She pulled her arm back out. It was covered in blood, but it was clenching a still blood dripping liver. She threw it in her mouth, squishing it in front of me.

I stepped away. "Ruby…don't ever do that near me again." I said, wiping the blood off my face.

Ruby didn't even listen to me. She was looking over at the Argonian. She tilted her head to the side. "What is that?" She said, looking over at Maleek.

He looked just as confused. "What is she?" He asked back.

Ruby walked over to Maleek and started at him. "Is he some Daedra?"

He looked offended. "What, I'm not a Daedra! What are you supposed to be? Are you some type of bipedal fox?"

She looked offended. "I'm a…a…" She finally looked over to me. "What am I again?"

I sighed. "You're a Khajiit."

Ruby nodded. "Right." She looked over at Maleek. "I'm a Khajiit, you jerk!"

"Who's a jerk?" Asger said as he came walking up with Cecilie by his side. He looked down at Ruby and Maleek. He tilted his head to the side and smirked. "Huh…and we have an Argonian in our camp." He looked down at the armor. "And he's an Brotherhood assassin. Nice." He nodded and looked over at me. "Is he here to kill me?"

I nodded. "Yes…he is."

Asger smiled and walked up to Maleek, patting him on the head. "And there you have it…my housecarl has saved my life again." He sat down in front of Maleek. "Now…let's discuss what is going to happen with you." Asger started, looking Maleek in the eye.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Now, I need to think up a background for him and some personality quirks. I've already established that he is in fact...a terrible assassin. He's very clumsy, very unassassin like. Now...I just need to make it worse somehow._


	24. Ch 24: Great balls: of fire

**Cearbhail:**_ Yeah, it's been like three days. Little bit of writer's block. Anyway, hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal, I can't believe it. So, Asger actually untied the Argonian and threw a leg from the deer to him and told him to tell us his story. Unsurprisingly, I think the Argonian lied to us. But here was the gist of the conversation. –Asger- "So, why did you want to kill me?" -Maleek- "To bring my father glory." -Asger- "And? Did you?" -Maleek. "Not yet. But I will kill you sometime."_

_Asger rubbed the Argonian on the head and smiled. "Ok, then you are free to travel with us until you do so."_

_…._

_…_

_What a dumbass. He just gave our will-be assassin a welcome invitation to not only to exist around us but to have the right and ability to kill us._

_Well, anyway, Esbern and Delphine are furious with Asger. They wanted to slit the Argonian's throat and just leave him to the bears to eat. Ruby hasn't stated her opinion yet. She's still eating. My daughter, while getting a great laugh from all of this is also staying silent. Maybe she actually doesn't care about Maleek. If that's so, then I should at least pretend to be ok with this._

_But once we all ate, we decided to keep our friend on a leash as we walked right into a Forsworn camp. The old ruin that we're looking for is somewhere near this very expressive Forsworn camp that we almost were all killed in. So, after some Thu'ums and some sword slashing, we found ourselves in some cave that held even more Forsworn. We killed them as well and now we're continuing through._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and looked over at Maleek, who was pulling up the sleeves of his overly large shadowscale armor. He must have been at least a few inches shorter than his father because the armor almost fitted him, it was just too loose. His bright green face contrasted with the dark purple armor. It was weird looking. That and with his red beady eyes, he could look intimidating. More interestingly enough, he has orange feathers on top of his head that rang to a light yellow at the tips. I guess Argonian version of hair is feathers because he claims that he grows them naturally.

Anyway, we were waiting for Esbern and Asger to finish whatever it was that they were doing. They were twisting and blocks around, trying to make some pillar fall down. They were doing this so we could walk across to the platform on the other side. I, being me of course, had my own idea about it. Since Maleek was no longer tied up, I had my rope back. I pulled out an arrow, tied the rope to the end of it, and started calculating the distance plus the length of rope that I had.

Delphine, the entire time had watched me tie the rope to my arrow. She looked over at Esbern as he continued to fuss with the old puzzle and then looked back over at me. I think she was enjoying the race to see which one of us would finish first.

I finished my knot and began pulling the arrow back into its slot. I remembered when my father taught me how to tie knots and how they could be used for different situations. Luckily for me, using a bow and arrow with a special knot could be useful for scaling walls or pulling something down. I was pulling something down. I pulled the arrow back, preparing to fire it. What angle should I hit it at? The right corner was covered in brush. It could be beneficial for me to hit it there as it might get tangled up. The downside is that the arrow itself might not penetrate the rock enough to where I could pull the pillar down. So, I brought my bow to the other side of the rock. There were already cracks forming. If I just aimed at that smaller crack, I was sure that I could get it lodged in there. Good, I had my target, now I just needed to calculate the arc and pull of the rope so that I would not miss after firing. That pillar was rock solid but I was sure that with a good tug I could…

"There, done." Esbern said.

The pillar moved and fell right in place, right as I was finishing up my calculations. The rock hit with a ground shuddering force and threw dirt and sand up in my eyes as it did so.

I…I…

Fuck it. That's the last time I try to do something nice for a change. I slowly let the arrow ride forward until I could pull it off my bow and put it back into its quiver. Once that was done I slid the bow back across my back. I looked over at Delphine, who was shaking her head at me disappointedly.

"You almost won too." She said but took a step across the bridge.

I looked back at Maleek and Ruby, who were standing very close to each other. Ruby looked up at me expectantly and smiled. "I almost thought you were going to do it."

Maleek looked over at Ruby and crossed his arms. "No way. Even if she did pierce the rock, there was no way she could have pulled the pillar down."

Ruby growled in annoyance. "Oh yeah! I bet she could have."

"Could not!" Maleek growled back.

I sighed and looked away. Both Ruby and Maleek were barely inches away from each other, growling and glaring into each other's eyes. It was at this time that they started arguing about anything. Ruby started poking Maleek in the head, saying that he was a stupid lizard. Then he turned around and pulled at her fur, saying that she was a stupid cat. Then it just went back in forth for a while. I stopped paying attention.

Cecilie didn't say anything. She walked past the arguing teenagers and walked up to me. She through her arms around me and gave me a hug. Then, she let go and started to cross the bridge with everyone else. She looked back at me and smiled. "I'm sure you would have tried you best, mommy."

I looked over at Asger, who was laughing to himself. He shook his head in delight and just continued across the bridge. He glanced back at me and winked. "I was rooting for you the whole time." He said and went back to laughing. Then he stopped by the two arguing creatures and sighed before grabbing them by the backs of their heads. "Enough." He said.

Ruby pointed at Maleek and said, "He's a murder."

Maleek pointed to Ruby. "She's a thief!"

Then the two of them glared at each other. I sighed again and watched as Asger threw them both over his two shoulders. "You two will stay there until you can learn to get along." Then he started following Esbern and Delphine through the tunnel ahead of us.

Cecilie chuckled from behind. "That might take a while."

The rest of the way was light and breezy, if not covered in dead bodies and cob webs. It was a beautiful walk, though, through the hallway. Esbern seemed to look at everything, talking nonstop about his fascination with Akaviri beliefs and architecture.

Almost at once, Esbern held out his hand to stop us. "Wait." He looked at the ground. "These are pressure switches." He bent down to look at them. "They seem to have old Akaviri symbols inscribed upon them." Then he looked back up at the end of the hallway. "That statue…it holds a greater soul gems and it seems to be glowing red." Then he looked back down at the floor. "Hmm…I guess these holes are for fire to arch out and that soul gem fires at anyone who does not immediately die from stepping on the blocks."

Asger pushed us all back. "I will handle this." He said, all serious for once. He looked over at Esbern and said, "Same symbols as before?"

Esbern shrugged. "I can only pray they are."

Asger sighed and stepped onto the symbol of the Dragonborn. He smiled and started carefully stepping over to the greater soul gem. If he could manage to pull it out and then reach the switch behind it, the whole trap would become inactive.

"Now's my chance." I heard Maleek say as he looked across the floor. I looked back at him to see him grabbing a rock the size of his hand. Before I could stop him, he threw the rock at Asger, hitting him in the shoulder.

Asger cried out in surprise and stepped wrong. His foot planted on one of the non-Dragonborn symbols and fire arched out. Fire shot out of the ground and the soul gem started warming up. Asger cried out in surprise as he started running through the fire, the fireball exploding behind him. Every time he stepped more fire would come flying up. Asger was flashing so fast that he managed to escape the pillars of fire.

We sat there and watched in amazement as fire continued to just activate on its own. The soul gem was blasting heavy fireballs everywhere inside the kill zone, trying to hit Asger. I looked over at Esbern and said, "Can we help him in any way?"

Ruby grabbed Maleek by the arm and pushed him into me. She said, "Yeah, we can throw him inside and distract that soul gem so Asger can get it."

Maleek looked back at her, completely offended. "What? Why me?"

As we walked past, Ruby punched Maleek in the shoulder. "You tried to kill Asger."

Maleek nodded. "Yeah…that's going to happen, a lot." He looked over at Asger, clenching his fist. "I will kill him one day. I swear it." He crossed his arms and looked away from the fire pit. "It's his fault, really. He decided to keep me alive. He should have killed me."

We all looked back at the room Asger was currently still flashing through. The room seemed like just a giant stream of fire. I wondered if he was ok. I mean…I hadn't seen a single glimpse of him since he stepped on the wrong block. If he was still flashing around, then he was almost untraceable by my eyes. He mastered Wuld…that dragon Shout of his. He could use it continuously now without even speaking it. He was beginning to figure out Yol as well.

"I'll do it for him!" Ruby hissed, jumping at Maleek.

Maleek and Ruby started wrestling on the ground. I just rolled my eyes and looked back at the fire pit. Fire Pillars were flying up everywhere. Just then, I could see them quickly heading for the device. One last fireball exploded. It was so close to the soul gem that the explosion actually threw the rock away from its stand, making it useless again.

Just like that, all the fire in the room died off. There, standing cloth-less, was a naked Asger. He was panting really hard and his skinny body was drenched in sweat. He was looking right at me. Then he looked up at Esbern. His expression was filled with determination and willpower. I can only imagine what he was thinking at that second.

"I'm freezing!" He shouted and then charged past us. He started sprinting down the way we came.

Delphine watched as he left. "Dragonborn! Where are you going?"

"We killed some people with clothes down here. I'm getting them." He yelled back, disappearing from view.

Esbern looked over at me and smirked. "Calm yourself, Lydia. If your face grows any more red you'll faint."

I ignored his comment but the look of Asger standing there; naked with determined eyes, covered in smoke and sweat. I just couldn't forget it. I had to have him soon.

But anyway, as luck would have it, he came back to us about a few minutes later wearing some Forsworn armor and boots. He still looked cold. He was shivering from head-to-toe.

Esbern noticed it too. "Why are you still cold? That's the warmest armor around."

Asger shook his head. "I'm not cold. This armor has lice."

Ruby stepped away and hid behind me. "No offense, but…don't touch me ever again."

Maleek chuckled and grabbed Ruby, dragging her out. "Come on…I'm going to make you touch him."

"No!" Ruby cried out in her loud high pitched voice. She head-butted Maleek and they both fell to the ground, grabbing their heads in pain.

Esbern sighed and started walking away. "Anyway, the last part of this cave should be right up ahead. I'm guessing it will lead to Sky Haven Temple."

I looked over at Asger and hauled Maleek off his butt. "Asger…this has gone on long enough. This…" I looked over at Maleek. "Argonian brat has tried to kill you six times in past hour. This time he made you lose your clothes and now…you have lice." I shoved Maleek into Asger. "Solve it." I unsheathed my sword and pointed at Maleek. "Or I will."

Asger sighed and grabbed Maleek by his shoulders. "I know you must hate me with all your heart." He started, his voice filled with dramatic tension. I actually sighed and lowered my blade. Great…he was starting his bardic speeches. Now no one was safe.

Maleek shook his head. "No…it's nothing personal. It's a job."

Asger stood up. He clenched his fist and said, "Then what is it you want? What is it that you truly desire?"

Maleek looked up. "Meat?"

Asger threw his hand up. "Then you should seek the meat. You should not do a job just because it needs done. You should follow your passions, your desires. For without such things, you are living an empty existence. Your father must love being an assassin, but how do you feel about it?"

Maleek squinted his eyes. "I guess I get a small thrill when I try to kill you."

Asger smiled. "Then you should take that thrill and make it your passion. Try to kill me the best you can so that you can live as freely as possible."

Maleek threw his hands up. "Yes, sir! I will try my best."

"Good." Asger said, looking at the rising sun that was appearing through a crack in the cave. He pointed at it and said, "Because that is what life is all about. Living. And if you aren't living life then you're a draugr… and no one likes draugrs."

I groaned and face-palmed. Great…now we had a resolved killer in our team. Asger…if he doesn't kill you, I will.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Jee, how many of you could see that coming? Well, I think I like the new team. Maleek continually trying to kill Asger, Ruby fighting with him, Cecilie predicting the future, Asger doing his bardic speeches, and Lydia...you know...huh...she doesn't have any weird quirks. I guess she is heavily sarcastic and stoic, but is that really enough? Huh...I think I actually need a suggestion to get me thinking on that._


	25. Ch 25: Asger's diary

**Cearbhail:**_ Hmm. This seems a little short. I guess I need to step it up soon. Well, they made it up the temple, Asger recieved a non-fatal attack from attack from Maleek, which actually made him bleed. That blood activated the blood circle and then...they congratulated him on figuring out the hidden message of the blood circle. Well, now they're inside. Enjoy.._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Attempt #6. Well, today's been a good day regardless of the nasty place we've made our residence. Until further notice we're living in Sky Haven Temple. Esbern needs a few days to decode Alduin's Wall. Until then we're cleaning up the temple since this is where Delphine and Esbern are planning on spending the rest of their days while they start rebuilding the Blades. She seems to think that the Blades are needed again so she's already given me a curved blade and threw some layered steel armor at me. I'm to meet her outside today with Ruby and, no kidding, Maleek. Attempt #7._

_(Sigh)…I should go. I know, I usually go on for a while, trying to cover everything that's going on but I think Asger needs…no, never mind. He's fine. That was the seventh attempt on Asger's life this morning. Maleek is just…annoying to say the least, but soon he will be a well-trained annoyance. I'm not sure if that's a good thing but everyone believes that he'll grow out of it once we win his heart over. I guess no one remembers that lizards are cold-blooded…they don't think like we do._

_Back to the Blades thing. Yup, I'm being trained as a Blade…while I'm here at least. Delphine actually requested to Asger that I stay behind for a week or so while he does whatever he does. He said that he'd think it over but it really was my decision. I opted to stay and train. I was trained in basic bodyguard combatives; it would be nice to hone my sword fighting._

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal and looked over at my daughter, who was gladly dusting off the large table. The temple itself was starting to shape up. When we first walked into the temple, skeevers were scuttling across the floor, crapping in every nook and cranny. Cat-sized frostbite spiders had moved into the bedding area, living under the mattresses (if you can call them that). Honestly, we need to make some new ones at least. Who knows how long these mattresses have existed here. It's not like anyone's been in this room beyond the fall of Alduin…when history began. That was only the beginning. The floors were covered in a foot of dust and sand. Breathing this stale air was also a problem. We had to open all the doors in the entire temple just to get some ventilation. Then, we had to sweep everything out. Asger and his "Fus" Shout was actually useful for once. He pretty much just Shouted the dust and sand out of the temple. Brooms be damned…we have an allergic Shouter.

Now, the temple was at least dust free. We cleaned for ten hours straight while Esbern sat there, looking at the well-constructed slab of wall. Everyone else continued cleaning. Even our reluctant prisoner, Maleek, picked up a broom and started sweeping the floor. I was right about his child-like innocence. Even though he wants to think of us as enemies, if we throw him food, or just talk to him, he'll talk back. If I hand him a broom, even if he has a knife aimed at my throat, he'll take the broom and start sweeping. I just think he doesn't know what he wants yet.

So, anyway, the temple was looking nice again. Ruby actually supplied us with all the food we could need for a nice week. She reached into her bag and pulled out all sorts of canned goods. I don't know where she got the canned goods but she had them. What really confuses me…there was no way all that could have fit inside her bag. With everything she throws inside it, there should not be enough places for clothes, crystals, potions, meat, her daggers, the whip that I guess she carries around, a flute that she also carries around (thank you, Asger), and scrolls that she stole…I mean took…um…hmm…acquired from fire mages. Don't know when she did that, I think it was before she met us. She likes mages, they have a lot of expensive stuff, she thinks.

I plan on asking her about that bag later. I'm sure it's enchanted somehow. Anyway, I guess it's important, but not important enough to take the focus away from anything that I was doing. What was I doing, anyway? I was surveying the temple, just enjoying the cleanliness of the whole place. It looked like someone lived here now. We had the fire pits all lit, food lined the giant table, prepared by me. I may not be the strongest fighter out of our…wait…am I? Esbern and Delphine are staying here; Asger is the Dragonborn so of course he's the strongest, period. Then it's me…then Ruby, or Cecilie even. I don't know who would win in a fight. Cecilie gets points for being a seer and knowing how to squirt ketchup into assassin's eyes, but Ruby doesn't seem to give up once she has her mind set on something. Or would even Maleek come in third? He is…well…rather pathetic. Nevermind on that last thought.

Oh my gods…I had to start putting more effort into being more than just useful. I had to be reliable. I needed a thing. Asger was a master of hand-to-hand…or dragon-to-Shout. If I wanted to be better than him I needed to master the sword and the bow. Well, it was a good thing that I had a week long crash course in dragon combat. Delphine was going to supercharge my sword fighting knowledge and Esbern was going to supercharge my magicka. Jeez, I hope the latter doesn't hurt. He says that he won't teach me any spells if I don't want it, but he will teach me how to break the barriers to my limiters…whatever those are. It's supposed to allow me to jump higher, run faster, become stronger, and have just faster reflexes altogether. The only drawback is that whenever this state of mind is broken or worn off…I pretty much crash. It's going to hurt, but I volunteered for it. I want this training. So does everyone else.

I looked up from the table and saw Asger walking in the room. He was holding a book in his hand and eating an apple. For a second, my world came to a stop. His smiling face looked at me, winked, and looked back down at the book. The world returned to me and I nodded to him to come join me. He smiled and quickly made his way to the seat next to mine.

He sat down and held me close. "I wish you were coming with me." He said as he pulled me in for a kiss. I allowed it.

I finally pushed him away and said, "Well, I want this training. Besides, you'll eventually come back. Just don't forget about all of us."

Asger waved it off. "Please, like I'll ever forget about you guys. You're my family…no kidding." He pulled me in for a hug. "I think when I come back…I'll surprise you with something."

Surprise me with something? Jeez, when hasn't something surprised me in the past month? Seems like every day something goes wrong or right or just…_wrong_…not wrong as in 'holy crap that did not work' wrong. Wrong as in 'what…the fuck….just happened' wrong.

Still, I shook the thought from my head and looked down at the book in his hand. I nodded to it. "What's that?"

Asger looked down at it. "Oh this? Um…my diary…"

I reached out and snatched it from him before he could say anything. He reached out to take it from me but I pulled it away. "Nu-uh…" I said, pushing his face away. "You read mine way too many times for me to pass this up." I flicked my wrist, which actually managed to throw him off the seat and onto the ground.

_Dear diary,_

_Today is 4e 205 13th Last Seed. Where to start? I had a dream where I was standing on the precipice of a mountain, looking down at a scroll of blank paper. Dragons circled above me, speaking in the language that my ears do not know, but somehow recognize by feeling it in my heart. I asked Esbern about it and he feels that my dragon blood is allowing me to glimpse into the future. Is this how Cecilie gets her abilities? Does she earn it through dragon blood? I do not know yet, but nothing can stop me from finding out._

_Actually, there is something that has bothered me lately. Dawnstar. That Jarl is a leader in league with the Stormcloaks. Now, I owe them for getting me out of Helgen alive, where the Imperials were getting ready to kill me just for coming into Skyrim and getting caught by accident. I mean…I came here to visit my sister, well half-sister. But still, she's here somewhere and I will find her one day. I hear she lived at the College of Winterhold. Ok, too off track. Why would the Jarl, hating the Thalmor as much as any Stormcloak could, agree to do anything he said? They openly hate the Thalmor and do anything to fight them, so why? Why do that to my daughter? It was a ritual has not been done in centuries, not since the founding of magicka in humans._

_I know the origins of such prejudices, though. It went back to the original outbreak of magical ability in humans. We thought that only elves, our great slave owners, could use it. When we started growing magically, we thought that we were contaminated with their nastiness. So…we cleansed them with fire and water. It did not last long, these rituals, but they happened. A dark past of our great history._

_Anyway, I wish that I could sum up everything that I think in a few sentences. In some ways I never stop thinking. Not to mention that I get very side-tracked. I could be thinking about the political and social problems with our society but a single blue butterfly could pass by and my brain would begin thinking about pancakes, my favorite breakfast food. Hmm, got side-tracked again. Right…Jarl, Stormcloaks, hating Thalmor. Ok, back on track._

_I guess if anything…the Jarl was just trying to protect his people. He may seem evil or angry, but he's still a leader. He would endanger his troops, but not his people. If the Thalmor entered a war with us, then he'd fight without regret, but we're not at war. If he did anything that could provoke a war, it would all be on him. Dawnstar would be no more. I cannot blame him for pretending to kill my daughter, but I would blame him for not doing so if it meant that the entire town suffered for it._

_I guess that will do for today._

…

I closed Asger's diary and looked down at him. He was still sitting on the floor, rubbing his head in slight pain. He smiled up at me and said, "Now I know how you feel."

I nodded. "Yes, not fun to have someone raid your private thoughts." I threw the diary at him. "Not a single word about me." I said casually. Honestly, I didn't really care but it would be reassuring to hear that he loved me at least from time to time.

Asger shielded his face from the airborne diary flying at his face. He was hiding a smile. "Expecting to find the secret about the surprise?" He started laughing. He stood up and brushed off his butt as he reached down to pick up his diary. "So, what do you think about the Jarl's decision? Do you think he did the right thing?"

I shrugged. I don't think it really mattered anymore. I guess I had to start thinking about the complications resulting in our actions. Everything we did had a result. We saved Dawnstar and then the Jarl saved it again. But then again, if we never walked into the town, it would have been just fine. Well, with the exclusion of the nightmares still being there. "I guess he had a good reason for it. The Thalmor are pushing for more control. I thought that personally he would have resisted any efforts. I'm guessing Ulfric Stormcloak gave him orders to not start up any unnecessary fights against anyone without his say-so. He was sending a report to Ulfric for reinforcements in case something happened. I honestly think that Skald just wanted to stall the Thalmor in order to lure him into a Stormcloak trap…too bad we had to ruin it."

Asger shook his head. "No, that makes no sense. Maybe it had something to do with dragons. Maybe there was a dragon nearby that he did not want to stir up by having magic explosions in the streets. After all, if the dragon heard all that commotion, it would have been over there like if a wolf heard a rabbit squealing in pain."

I shrugged to that. It was possible. "Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore. It's past, it's over, it's not changing one bit. Might as well accept it for what it is."

Esbern looked away from the wall, "But we must not forget to consider what happens next. The Thalmor believe that they can manipulate Skald now. We can use that to our advantage…draw the Thalmor to rely on his supposed weakness. I'll send a scout out to go talk to him later."

Maleek, still sweeping the floor, raised his claw. "I'll go talk to him."

Esbern shook his head. "No way am I sending an Argonian dressed in Dark Brotherhood-ish armor to go convince the Jarl who-hates-anyone-who-isn't-a-Nord Skald that the Blades are on his side and want the Thalmor dead. No…I'll send a summoned familiar to deliver a message for me. I'll have him meet me at a disclosed location that will be scryed by our little seer. Then we'll have our little chat about what might happen and what could happen if we play our cards right."

Delphine walked into the room. "Esbern, I'm not letting you play spy. I just got you back from a Thalmor trap…I'm not risking you in another one." She looked over at me and nodded. "Come, Lydia. It's time for your training to begin." She looked over at Maleek. "You, Argonian. Go get Ruby and Cecilie. Tell them to meet me out back. You are joining us, right?"

Maleek nodded. "Yes." He bowed to her. "Thank you."

My eyebrow shot up. I could not tell if he was being honest or just pretending to be honorable. He was a murderer…kinda. Ok, he wanted to be a murderer. I was still not happy with the fact that everyone else, Ruby excluded, did not think anything about allowing a murderer live among us and train with us. It may be true that he can be redeemed, and that was probably what they wanted to do, but I just didn't see it happening.

Delphine looked over at me and said, "Now come. I have much to show all of you."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Well, we got to see just how Asger contemplates things. He's a little behind on his diary updates but at least he tries to consider both sides of any agrument. Also, Lydia is about to go through a massive change. Anyway, you'll see...and let me know what you think so far._


	26. Ch 26: Asger's farewell

**Cearbhail:**_ Hmm. Author's notes. I guess I actually had no idea what these are for. I wonder what I should do with them. Anyway, I guess I should talk about the newest chapter and things that anyone should know before reading it. yeah...that sounds about right. Ok, then._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I have been bedridden for twelve hours now. All my muscles are too sore for me to lift up my own quill so Cecilie is being kind enough to record this for me. What happened? Blade training. It's no joke. All the…things we did. I did not know you could do all that stuff with a sword. I mean, who thinks of cutting another sword in half. Not horizontal half, but vertical half. As in, cut all the way from the tip down to the hilt. I had to learn that while Delphine slashed at full strength at me. She ruined my favorite blade. Not that it matters anymore. I have an Akaviri katana. I'm sure that's better…somehow._

_I hear from Delphine that Esbern is almost done picking the wall apart and knows pretty much everything he needs to know now. Awesome. Soon maybe we can have some answers as to why dragons are destroying everything. Every second he plays with the wall, another dragon pulls out of the ground and attacks a settlement._

_Asger is also ready to leave this place. Even though he will be gone for a while and I will be here training, Cecilie has decided to stay here and train with me. She wants Blade training. Now…this is what gets weird. Delphine stated that she could not teach her until she was a little older so Cecilie opened a portal and disappeared. I thought she had left. Then, she walks back through, a couple years older. She said that she's 15 now. This was as old as she could become. I could barely recognize her. She was three feet taller, just a little shorter than I am, her black hair as long as mine. She looked strong capable. She looked like me, only younger. Well that and she still had her white eyes._

_Delphine was surprised by what had happened. Cecilie stated that this was her true age and the Cecilie from earlier was an experiment to see if time travel was too exhausting. It did not tire her one bit but once she met me…she didn't want to leave me. She was having too much fun here with us to leave right away. There was that sadness in her voice. It has to be that something bad happened to me. Gods…I don't want to know._

_Lydia…_

…

I looked over at Cecilie. It was like looking in a mirror. The way she sat in the chair, the way that she brushed stray strands of hair from her eyes as she continued writing in my journal, the way that she smiled…it was like looking at me. She just had this composure that seemed like she was this strong young lady who had seen the world already and was resolved enough to face it. I was impressed with her new fashion statement too. She was wearing a tight armor that expressed her figure but she kept it partially covered with flaps of blue fabric. The armor itself was pure white with light blue glowing symbols carved inside it. The fabric was blue with golden symbols that lined the edges. Her armor and her battle-skirt were amazing. On top of her head she wore a circlet made up of one ruby on the right side, a sapphire on the left side, and a giant amethyst in the middle.

When I asked Cecilie about the armor earlier, she smiled and said that it was traditional battlemage armor. She wore it during the Aedra wars. She also learned a new spell that allowed her to store all her stuff in the astral plane. She actually got the idea from Ruby, who has that same spell in her bag. Oh yeah…I forgot to mention that. Last night, while at dinner, I asked Ruby how her bag could hold so much stuff. She smiled awkwardly and brushed the top of her head in embarrassment.

"Oops…I forgot. Um…my shaman friend? She uh…made me this bag. It has a portal effect that delivers anything I put in to an astral realm of my creation. I actually go there sometimes and just relax if I have nothing else to do. It's a lovely garden with butterflies that I catch, some skeevers, and some fish. Yes, there is a lake. I made sure to catch some water for my world…and fish along with it. It's a nice sized world that I retreat into if I have nowhere else to go. The only problem is that I can't stay there long. It takes magicka to open the portal and keep it open. If that portal closes while I'm inside…I could be lost in there forever." Ruby shrugged. "But whenever I want something, I just picture it, reach inside my bag, and it comes to my hand. As long as I have it at least."

That's what Cecilie did with her new spell. She grabbed a bunch of stuff, made an astral plane, and stored it within the astral plane in case she needed it. This was before she disappeared into the portal and came back a teenager, mind you. I guess while she was gone she learned the new spell and learned how to use her Conjuration magic to just conjure the items that she stored in her own astral plane. It was wild. She said that she could just 'summon' any outfit she wanted onto her body, 'summon' any weapon into her hand that she owned, and actually 'summon' any piece of food that she ever stored as well. I could not find any reason why not to. It sounded like a great idea.

I shook my head and brought my thoughts back to the present. Well, it wasn't me who brought me back. It was Cecilie. She had closed my journal and looked over at me. It was the sound of my journal closing that snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked over at my daughter. She was hiding back small invisible tears. She looked over at me. "I could tell you…you know?"

I shook my head, which threw all the muscles in my neck in pain. I guess she was referring to the last statement that I threw into my journal. The statement about me wondering what happened to Asger and me. Why she wanted to come and 'meet' me. "No…I think I'd rather not know. So…where did you go for…how many years you were gone?"

Cecilie smiled. "Oh you know…in the past, and some into the future. I met some fun people, played some games…recruited an army. You know…kid things." She laughed as she sat down next to me. "Actually, I went back in time to the Aedra Wars and joined some of my favorite heroes in battle. I helped my six favorite friends escape several ambushes from shadowscales and Aedra. I don't think they ever noticed me until I talked to them."

I looked at her. "That's what you did for four years?"

She shook her head. "Oh no. I just did that…yesterday. No, I was not ready for a fight like that. I went back home and continued my studies. My Aunt taught me how to Shout…just as Father taught her. Since you know…she's Dragonborn too."

"Why didn't Asger teach you?" I asked. I really did not like where all the conclusions in my head were leading me to. It seemed that everything I heard from her involved someone else teaching her something. It was like Asger did not have much of a role in her life. And I was still troubled over her wanting to 'meet' me.

Cecilie shrugged and looked away. "You know…he's busy. He becomes very serious once he becomes a father. And…I think he just grew apart from us. You, me…Ruby. She's in my time now. I never noticed her before but now that I know who she is…it's amazing that I never connected any of those dots. She's like my big sister. I always wondered why she liked me so much. Maleek is also there. Huh…I never saw that coming." She shook her head. "Look, I'd rather not talk about this anymore. Can we just drop it?" She asked, trying to put on her puppy dog eyes. It somehow looked just as cute as when she was eleven years old. I thought that being a teenager would have dried that cuteness up.

I nodded. "Sure thing, kiddo. I think you have some Blade training to do today, right?" I had to change the subject somehow. Heck, I was getting depressed.

She nodded back. "Yeah, you do too. Just because you're tired doesn't mean that you can skip on training. Delphine wants to see us both outside later." She stood up from her chair and turned to face the doorway. I guess she expected someone to walk into the room.

Just then, Asger walked into the room and looked at Cecilie. He nodded awkwardly to her and looked at me. "It's weird. I can't stop thinking that she's not the same girl that we had traveling with us the whole time." Then he shook his head. "It's amazing…you two could look like twins if Lydia wasn't horribly pale and older."

Wow…that was the wrong thing to say to your girlfriend. Cecilie wasn't too happy either. She arched her eyebrows. "Want me to Shout at you? Will that settle this?"

Asger chuckled. "You're so snippy. You're just like your mother."

That got both of our mouths to drop. Was he asking for me to kick his ass? I was not in the mood for this. I grabbed him by the arm. "I am not snippy." I said as I began squeezing his arm. He cried out in minor pain and pulled his arm away.

He rubbed his arm. "Jeez, Lydia, don't kill me. I was only kidding." He looked at Cecilie and nodded. "I guess you know that this is probably goodbye. I don't know when I'll be back or if I'm coming back."

That's when it hit me. Asger was in pain because he was leaving all of us here to go on his adventure to find the Graybeards again. His little act of being an asshole was just a cover so that he wouldn't start crying in front of all of us. Of course, he wasn't going alone. He sent one of Esbern's familiars over to M'aiq in Riften. M'aiq and Brelyna were going to meet him in Whiterun so that the three of them could go out and do some damage to whatever fate was going to throw at them.

Cecilie smiled thinly. "And you don't know if I'm leaving again and coming back again as an adult. I already told you…this is as old as I'm going to get. I don't age past this…for now." She reached in and hugged Asger, pulling him closely. "Goodbye, father. Don't worry, you'll be back and I'll still be here. I'm not leaving yet." I could see tears rolling down her blind eyes. "I'm having too much fun to leave."

Asger nodded and turned back to me. He kneeled and kissed me on the forehead. "Goodbye, Lydia. I'm off to see the Graybeards to find a Shout that can Alduin." Just like that, he turned around, purposely flapping the tails of coat as he pulled a bag over his shoulder. He looked back at me and pulled a hat up to his head. He pulled it down to barely obscure his eyes. "Although we depart on this day…may we never forget the times we shared…the laughs we had. Never shall we forget the baddies we cut down, the deer that we hunted, the fish that we caught. May we never forget the dragons we've slain, the quests that we've attended, or…"

Cecilie pushed him out into the hallway. "Just go! You have a dragon god to kill."

Asger nodded. "Right…going." He looked back at me and smiled. "Love you." And then, he just turned around and started walking out of the room.

Those two words. He said it so casually, but it held all the weight of my heart inside them. I fought against all the screaming muscles in my body as I pushed myself out of the bed. I rose onto my sore legs, my knees buckling as I did so. I chased after Asger, the air in my lungs already throwing my chest in pain as I breathed. "Asger!" I screamed. Asger turned around in time to see me throw myself into a tight hug around him, throwing us both off our feet. We crashed on something soft and warm, breaking our fall.

"Ow!" Ruby called from underneath us. "Get off, get off, GET OFF!" She cried in horror as we starting kissing each other while lying on top of her. Neither of us wanted to move from our spots so Ruby was stuck underneath us as we started…um…getting more involved. She looked up at us in horror. "Ah…no…not again." She screamed as she tried to push us off of her. "I swore I'd never be in this position ever again!" She finally managed to pull herself away from us and she took off into the hall saying, "All you guys ever do is hurt me."

Asger lifted me up and together, locked in each other's arms. Somehow we managed to find our way back into the barracks. We found ourselves on top of one of the beds. Asger managed to breathe out in between kisses, "Cecilie, leave. Make sure no one comes in here."

Cecilie was already gone. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to see my parents doing this either.

…

An hour later…I think. Well we stopped. I was still catching my breath. My muscles were crying out in pain. I can't tell if it was from the thrashing in the training, or the thrashing that I took while I was in the bed. I can't remember much of it, only that I loved it. This was our second time doing this now, riding Asger's dragon. That's what he calls it, anyway. My body was still recovering from the shock of all my worn-out muscles receiving continuous abuse. I was now in cool-down mode. Asger was sleeping beside me. Jeez…he just fell asleep after he was done. Just like every man in history. I guess the world would have to wait another eight hours before the Dragonborn saved them. Sorry world.

I heard footsteps coming towards us. I pulled up the sheets, covering at least some parts of us. Delphine walked into the room and saw Asger sleeping beside me. She smiled. "Wow…" She looked around the room. There were scratches on the walls, pillow feathers were all over the room, and just…stuff everywhere.

Delphine nodded in amusement. "Ok…I've had some wild days myself." She looked over at me and said, "Get cleaned up and report outside. Now that Esbern is done with Alduin's Wall, he wants to teach the four of you how to break your limiters."

I looked down at Asger, who was sleeping soundly. I heard him take in a quick breath and then he smiled a bit. I ran my fingers through his hair, just relaxing for a second. I had almost forgotten about Delphine, who was still looking down at me.

She nodded. "Ok, I'll leave you two alone for however long you need. Just…report outside when you're ready."

I nodded. "Roger, ma'am. Don't worry, I'll be ready shortly."

She walked out of the room and Ruby poked her head in. "Are you two done yet?" She asked. When she saw me brushing my fingers through Asger's hair, she smiled. "Yup, done." She walked into the room and crossed her arms. "Never…do that…on top of me…ever again." She grabbed her bag and turned around. "It smells like my cage in here. Yuck." She said as she rushed out of the room. I watched her go. Jeez…I can only imagine the horrors she had to live through.

Almost on cue, Cecilie walked into the room as Ruby left. "Hey, Ruby." Cecilie called as she walked into the room. She looked over at me. "Ok…now that you're done, I want to know something."

I nodded. "Really? You do? I thought you knew everything." I said with a playful smile.

Cecilie stuck her hand out and brushed the thought away with a flick of her fingers. "Mom…I was a kid. I was arrogant. So…" She started, putting her hands behind her back. "Is it ok…if I date…" She stopped, looking away. She shook her head. "You know what…forget it." She laughed as she bit her lower lip. "I shouldn't be focusing on that. Not while I'm here at least."

I urged her to continue. "Go on. Who do you want to date?"

She looked over at me and her face blushed over. "Vignar Gray-Mane?" She said the name lightly as if it didn't matter. But then her eyes darted over to me, her face turning bright red.

Gray-Mane…hell no.

She seemed to read my mind. "but Mom!"

I stuck my hand up. "No buts…period. I'm not allowing you to date a 90 year-old man."

She crossed her arms. "Not him, his grandson. He's one of my best friends. He's always been there for me. And…the two families aren't warring anymore. We're all good buddy-buddies."

I shook my head. "I don't buy it. Why come all the way back here to ask me that? It's probably because you think I'm gullible enough to believe you."

Cecilie stomped her foot on the ground in irritation. "No…I wanted your blessing. It's not like I can go to Sovngarde to talk to you." Her eyes widened as she reached up and snatched her mouth before she said anymore.

Everything became silent. No one else moved except for Asger, who was still smiling as he hugged me close to him. I saw that tears were flowing down her eyes again. I finally nodded. "Ok…that's fine. Go ahead. You have my blessing."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ah... damnu air. I forgot to tell you about the chapter. Um...yeah... well...Lydia's pregnant! Oh dammit... that doesn't happen yet. Um...she's a mother to a healthy blind child! Yeah... no... that already happened. That makes me laugh. She's not even pregnent yet and she already has a teenager to deal with. Oh and I hope no one hates that I morphed the little girl into said teenager. I had to have it link to every other story where she is...not...a ten year old little girl. So...what else should I say about this chapter before you read it? Well... shab... I'm lost. Anyway, enjoy the next chapter._


	27. Ch 27: New song

**Cearbhail:**_ The following is a fan-based parody. Elder Scrolls, Secrets by One Republic, and The Devil Went Down to Georgia are all owned by People and People. Please support the official releases... and this mockery of them..._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Today's the day…Asger is leaving us for his quest. I know…he was supposed to leave yesterday, but I already know that this time he's leaving. How? Because he wants to share with us a song he just thought up in the shower while singing some of his bardic hymns. He says it has to do with him and dragons. Huh…it should be interesting at least._

_Well, anyway. Last night…yeah. That whole 'I can't talk to you in Sovngarde' thing. I'm still a little shaken by it. But…I guess we all have to die sometime. Most parents live to see their children grow up, but I guess I won't be one of them. I could argue that most parents didn't live during a time of civil war, dragons, and subtle government take-overs. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to do everything I can to prevent it, but…I can't be certain that I can. Still, I have this time to spend with my daughter now. Teach her everything I know even though she's what…9 years younger than me now? I guess it doesn't matter. She still looks up at me, even if it's just by 6 inches._

_Oh…I guess I should mention the rest of the family. Ruby and Maleek are still fighting about everything. Ruby has not forgiven Asger and me for kissing each other while she was pinned under us. Honestly, though…you think she would have seen us coming at least. Oh, I should go, Asger has his lute. This should be at least entertaining._

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal and looked over at Asger, who looked slightly nervous about singing his new song. He nodded to all of us and took a seat on the stone table, propping his foot onto one of the chairs. He cleared his throat. "Ok…I just want everyone to know…I made this like…ten minutes ago. Um…I know it's not good: barely rhymes, maybe it might not fit the tempo of the whole song, but…I just could not keep this to myself." He looked over at me and smiled. "Dedicated to the most stable person I know…Lydia."

_"I need to earn some glory, so I'm heading on a quest…."_

I looked at Asger. His voice was really high-pitched. His face was bright red and I could see that he was trying to relax. You know…this was the only time I have seen him like this. Fighting might not be so bad for him to handle, even dragons. But…singing to an open crowd, even his friends…must just unbalance him.

_"My life gets kinda boring, so I'll go find a dragon's nest…"_

Dragon's nest? Oh right… This was a song about him slaying dragons. It made me think back to when we were fighting the first dragon I ever saw. I was so scared of that dragon that I could barely fight it. I had to endure a fight against the thing, cutting its throat and ribcage open. Then, when I was down without a shield to protect me, Asger came up and spat fire into the dragon's mouth. My gosh…I was so relieved that the fight was over.

_"'til all my sleeves are stained red, from all the blood that I've shed…"_

Everyone started laughing at that line, looking over at Ruby who was currently wearing new gloves that actually were blue when she got them, but were now stained red because she removed organs from a deer that she caught earlier today. She didn't mind because the gloves now matched the rest of her outfit, which was red and tan. Ruby was looking down at her gloves as well, starting to chuckle at the line from the song. Asger actually winked at her. "Thought of you when I wrote that."

_"Came by this honestly, I swear…you thought I was braggin'? No, I just slayed this dragon!"_

Wow…that was jumping the gun, but I could see that Asger was starting to get into his song. His foot was starting to tap along, his eyes closed tight. He looked like he was enjoying himself.

_"So tell me what you want to hear? A solid Thu'um to rock your ear? Could make all bad weather disappear! So I'm gonna…rock this world tonight."_

Esbern was starting to stand up. He was beginning to dance, grabbing Delphine by her hand, pulling her up to her feet. She shook her head at first, trying not to smile. "I don't dance."

Esbern smiled. "Delphine, I've seen you fight against ten Thalmor who were shooting lightning at you. Don't tell me you can't dance…because the way you moved that day told me differently."

She smiled and the two of them moved to the dance floor. Cecilie was currently just leaning back in her chair, tapping her finger to the song. Ruby was pulling out her flute, playing alongside Asger, while Maleek tried his go at the drum. He did not want to be showed up by Ruby. They were definitely rivals now. I looked over the group…we had a small band now.

_"This night, I don't wanna start a fight, because I know that it's not right. So I'm gonna…sing this song instead."_

I sighed and face-palmed. Great. It sounded like Asger was out of originality already. His face was pulled up in a smile and I could see that twinkle in his eye that told me that he just thought something up. Great…let's see where it goes now.

"_I'm lost; don't know what I should sing next, because this song is not my best. So I'm gonna…stop playing this song now."_

He stopped strumming his lute and looked back at Ruby and Maleek. He rubbed both of them on the head. He smiled at Ruby and said, "Keep playing like that and you'll make a lot of gold."

Her face lit up. "Thank you, Asger. You always know just what to say."

Esbern and Delphine looked over at Asger. Esbern held her close and said, "Don't you know a faster beating song that you could sing? We want to feel young again."

Asger smiled. "I can make one up as I play it."

Cecilie chuckled to herself. "I think I know which one he's about to play too." She shook her head. "Let's see."

Asger started strumming the lute quickly now, pulling a large hat over his head and putting a small piece of wheat in his mouth. Cecilie chuckled. "Yup."

_"Sithis was heading down to Riften, looking for soul to steal."_

Esbern and Delphine started dancing again. He smiled. "Oh yeah, this should be a good song."

By gods…it was the most…wonderful song I've ever heard. It was amazing to see him play that lute so wonderfully. But the song went by quick and he bowed out. It didn't really matter. Esbern threw his back out halfway through the song and settled for sleeping instead of dancing. Delphine was busy trying to look serious again. Looking at how the two of them acted around each other, I was sure that the two of them had at least some romantic connection in the past now.

Thinking about Esbern and Delphine made me think about just how…I was dragged into all of this. It all started with me training with the city guard. I was going to be one of the guard captains around the hold. My uncle wanted more guard captains that he could trust since Whiterun is smack dab right in the middle of both warfronts. Not to mention that they both wanted us for their own. That was supposed to be my destiny. But then…Asger killed a dragon and became one of our Thanes. Then, my uncle assigned me to Asger to not only keep me safe from the war, but to grace the Battle-Born name to helping the Dragonborn save the world. I guess it really had nothing to do with getting rid of me; it was giving our clan even more glory and honor.

But then I met Asger. I presented myself as exactly as I was instructed to. But he just brushed me off, not even acknowledging that I existed. He just…didn't care that I was there. But…he didn't tell me to blow off either. He just accepted my offer to be with him. I guess knowing now what type of person he was, he probably had other things on his mind and wouldn't let something this trivial get to him. He seemed ok with having me around, even though I was a little put off by his skinny figure and lack of discipline. He seemed to think it was funny, while I groaned at every little joke he made.

Then we met M'aiq, who was the most irritating person I could ever meet. But…I liked him. I spent my whole life being around strict people; following precise schedules, living royal life with eyes always watching every move I made. Being with both Asger and M'aiq…as annoying as they were, it was still more fun than I've ever had in my life. They got me to chuckle, something my own parents couldn't do since I was five. They were as dry as anyone else. I hoped I wouldn't end up like that.

I looked around at the company that I had found myself in. Two bickering teens; one Khajiit, the other an Argonian. Never seen one in my life until I left Whiterun and here they were, fighting with each other as all the racial profiling ever indicated. Two ex-Blades. The last of them. Both of them in love with the other but so highly paranoid that they keep their own feelings bottled up. Then we have my daughter…don't get me started on all the things wrong with that.

If I ever just sat down to think about how everything ended up the way it was, I swear people would think I'm crazy. If I ever told anyone of the things I've seen, did, or heard…no one would believe me. Our story was the craziest around, because for some reason, we attract crazy. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a vampire somehow found its way into our team (hint hint)(nudge nudge)

But…I guess only time will tell.

Asger placed the lute on the table and grabbed his bag. He looked over at me and nodded. "I'm really leaving this time. No amount of kissing, banging, or pulling will keep me from that door."

Cecilie grabbed her ears and stormed out of the room. "I'm not listening!" She screamed in horror, running to the doors that led to the courtroom.

Asger chuckled and watched her go. "Remember when she used to be cute? Just ten years old and actually didn't mind us talking?" He shook his head. "Jeez, it feels like it was just yesterday…"

I started laughing under my breath. "Asger…" I walked up to him. "It was yesterday."

He shook his head in disbelief. "They grow up so fast. First…I didn't even knew she existed…then she was thrown in my lap at ten and now…a fifteen year-old. Sooner than I know it…she'll be older than me." He kissed me on the forehead and stepped towards the exit. "I will be back as soon as I can. I'm going to find out exactly what I need to know to kill Alduin."

I nodded, throwing my arm up. "Yeah…you do that. Go slay the dragon."

He smiled and held his hand to his chest. _"Slay the dragon, slay the dragon, slay the dragon! That's what I'll do!"_ He smiled at me one last time before he opened up the door and walked through it. He closed it behind him. The sound of the door slamming back in place echoed through the hallway a few times, creating an empty feeling both inside this temple and inside my heart. I continued to stare at the door for a second or two, just…waiting for him to come back, I guess.

Gods…it had only been two seconds and I was already turning around and walking back into the dining area. I just couldn't stand there any longer. For some reason, looking at that door reminded me of when my mother walked out on the rest of my family. She just…left one day. She never came back. No, I was raised by my father. I guess that was why I wasn't as girly as some of the other women in Whiterun. I shook my head. No, I couldn't think about this right now. I had to keep myself busy.

I looked into the dining area, seeing Delphine already sitting by the table. She had a set of Blades armor and my katana waiting for me. "Get dressed. Time we really get started on your training."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ok...I know... this was a short chapter. But this is just a fill-in. Something I just had to get off my chest. My life gets really boring... so anyway... hope you enjoyed it. and yes...everything that Asger said...was coming from me.. you know the intro before his song. I made it up in the shower in like... a minute and the came here, wrote it down in word so i would not forget it and then worked on my chapter, writing line-by-line until i got it all down. So...soon enough things will be getting better. That and... TIME SKIP! Ok, now the next chapter takes place in like a month or two. Yeah...nothing is happening for that amount of time._


	28. Ch 28: New and improved

**Cearbhail:**_ Oh yeah..two chapters in one day. Yeah...you know what that means? Absolutely nothing! Just imagine... me doing two chapters in one day. Well, anyway... hope you all enjoy. Not sure what I thought of this. I think I may have just upped the anty a bit... well, that should make things a little more interesting. Oh and this chapter is just a taste of the possiblities for all the awesome that could follow soon enough._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I'm sorry…it's been five weeks since I last wrote in you. I've been so busy, we all have. Ruby, Maleek, Cecilie, and I have all been going through Blades training ever since Asger left. That was well….five weeks ago, almost to the day. Honestly, if we didn't get daily letters from Brelyna's familiar, a pet raven, I would swear that Asger is dead. But…no, he's just…wow…involved in so much stuff that he can't even come back to get us. He swears that we should really buckle down and complete our Blade training, though. With all that he has somehow learned, he fears that we will need to know it._

_So, from what I've read in Brelyna's letters to us…Asger found out that the Graybeards all take orders from a dragon…yeah. Delphine already states that we're killing it no matter what Asger says. Well…I'm not sure what to think about that. I guess I will do my duty…but which duty? My duty to Asger as his housecarl…wow…I haven't used that word in weeks. Or my duty as a sworn-in Blade? And will my orders conflict? And if so…which order to I listen to? I need to think it over, but not now. After all, it's not like Asger's going to be back anytime soon._

_But other than that, Asger also learned of an Elder Scroll and, without telling us, decided to go find it. I guess after that he's going to some wormhole to make himself go blind…since that is what happens when one looks at such a thing. Yeah, I forgot to mention that. In order to learn this Shout that will 'not' kill Alduin, he has to read an elder scroll. I can only pray that he won't be blinded like Cecilie was when she read 'his' Elder Scroll. I guess this is when he gets the scroll._

_Oh, I guess I should be talking about myself now. Well, I'm a sword master now. I swear I could cut a hair in thirds…length-wise too. Well, I guess that's a bit of an exaggeration, but…come on! I am a fucking god of combat now. And don't get me started on limiters…I used to be afraid of Mjoll when I found out that she could send a person through a wall with a flick of her finger. I think I can beat that. I bet I could break down an entire wall with a flick of my finger. Heck…with how many times I've destroyed the courtyard…I better be able to. Unfortunately, the others are a little too young to fully grasp breaking limiters so they've all just focused on their special talents. Because they focused, they have gotten just a tad stronger than me in each of these fields. Maleek is weapons' master, although still a klutz; Ruby is super-reflexive and fast, using limiters like me; and Cecilie is just…well…very strong in magicka now. She a super-mage now. She broke that mental wall keeping her from all her magicka and now she's what they call a 'sage'._

_I should go now, I'm being summoned._

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal and stepped away from my post. It was my turn to watch the courtyard and as always, I brought something to keep myself busy. I usually just trained. You know; practice my swings, my agility, and my punches. I was wrong. I was not just trained in using my sword, I was trained to kick and punch as well. I just wasn't trained in martial arts. I did not know some fancy blocks or fancy kicks. No, it was straightforward. Punch, kick, and block. With my ability to quicken my reaction time to the point of where the world came to a standstill, I didn't need to be like M'aiq or Asger. Either that or that's just how it is for them as well. Well, today I did not bring my weapons outside. I thought this time that I'd bring my journal and finally start writing in it again. I mean, I had almost forgotten about it, but I found it in my bedside table. It had a lot of dust on it. Then I found myself actually reading it. Then I thought…I should update it.

But it figures that the minute I decide to write some something, I would get summoned to the dining court. Maybe it was time for dinner already? The sun wasn't low enough in the sky for it to be that time already. No, it had to be something else. I pulled on the door handle, exiting the courtyard. I started my way down the hall, noticing for the first time the way my armor 'chinked' every time I stepped. My old armor did not do that. This armor was folded over and over again, giving it a dragonscale impression. The armor worked great against arrows, swords, even elemental magic. But it was very heavy and noisy. No chance that I could be stealthy anymore. Not that I was stealthy to begin with.

I rounded the corner, looking at the dining hall. I could see that everyone was already gathering around the stairwell, probably talking to someone. Everyone was in their armor, but they looked relaxed. That was when I saw it. I could see M'aiq walking into the room, looking down at Ruby, who was a foot shorter than him. He was talking to her, and she was…sort of excited to see him. Funny, she never expressed interest in seeing another Khajiit before. She must really feel homesick.

My heart started beating quickly and my head grew lightheaded. If M'aiq was here…that meant that everyone was back from whatever it was that was going on. I charged down the stairs as fast I could, which was pretty fast now that I could flash. Oh…yeah I should explain. Flashing was a limiter-breaking term. I could use my spirit energy to actually make myself 'wuld' without the wulding. No…I'm not a Shouter, anyone can do this with training. It was just moving really fast, eye-blinking fast.

So, I flew into the room, stopping right in front of M'aiq. He looked mildly surprised to see me approach and he couldn't react before I pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Please! Do not hurt poor M'aiq!" He cried. When he saw that I was hugging him, he seemed to relax. "Ah…M'aiq thought that Nord woman was going to hurt him."

"There is it again." Ruby said, narrowing her eyes. "Stop that…it's annoying."

M'aiq smiled down at her. "Maybe she should talk like M'aiq? She is Khajiit and this is how Khajiit talk."

Ruby turned around and patted her butt. "I'll talk like that when I let a Redguard get near this." She looked away. "By then I won't give a shab about life anyway."

M'aiq chuckled and rubbed Ruby on the head. "She will understand some day."

Ruby knocked his hand away. "I'm not a she…I'm a me!" Then she blushed. "I mean, I am a she…clearly I'm not a boy. But I'm not a third person!" She turned away from M'aiq again. "I will never be a third person, separating my identity out from my perspective. I will never call myself only by my name, saying something "This one likes fish" or 'she is ruby'. No…I lived without a name for too long, I will not give up my first person perspective on life. For if I do so…I just won't be me anymore I'll be a she or it. Or even a she-it. Say that fast enough and you'll see how I feel about that."

M'aiq smiled. "Ruby talks like Asger…she must have been learning the bardic speeches from him."

Delphine smiled and looked over at M'aiq. "Enough of the cat talk, M'aiq. Why are you here? Where's Asger?"

M'aiq looked around the room. "Ah well…Brelyna is…not able to summon her creatures right now. She was heavily wounded while we were on our way to the top of High Hrothgar. Asger is well…on his way to the top of the mountain with the Elder Scroll. He sent Khajiit here to tell the Blades that…he feels that Alduin is going to challenge him. He had some vision in his sleep and he thinks it was coming from the Elder Scroll. It showed him learning his Shout and then he was being confronted by Alduin himself. He told M'aiq to leave because he did not want M'aiq getting in the way. He's afraid that he won't be able to beat Alduin."

I pulled myself from M'aiq. Did…did he just say what I thought he said. "So…Asger just decided to go up High Hrothgar by himself to fight the dragon God?"

M'aiq nodded. "Yes, that is what he is saying. That is why he came here, to get Blades to help. Asger told him to tell the Blades. He wants help."

Ruby shook her head. "Too…much…third person perspective." She grabbed her head in frustration. "Which he wants help? You or Asger?"

"M'aiq of course." He answered right back.

Delphine was clapping her hands. "Ok everyone, this is not a drill. The Dragonborn needs the Blades so I'm going to do the leadership thing here. Ok…you guys go out and help the Dragonborn…and I'll stay here and make hot love to Esbern." She held her hand out. "Ready?" We all sighed as we put our hands on top of hers. She threw her hand up and said, "Break!" She started pushing us out the door. "Go already. Go kill a dragon. Don't come back for at least a week or so."

Once we were shoved outside Sky Haven Temple, she slammed the door on us, barring it from the other side. I sighed with contempt at the idea that Delphine was not going to join us but rather stay behind to do…whatever she was planning to do to Esbern. But I guess she was old enough to retire from fighting. She just wasn't weak though. She could kick my butt any time of the day.

Ruby was scratching at the door. "My bag…" She whined. "I want my bag…" She started meowing at the door, looking for a window to glance through.

We decided to wait for Ruby until she got tired. Well, after two minutes of scratching at the door, Delphine opened the door. Her hair was ruffled and she was holding Ruby's bag. She tossed it to Ruby and said, "There…now go."

Ruby smiled and stuck out her tongue as Delphine closed the door behind her. Maleek was looking over at Ruby and sneered. "Can't you act your age for once?"

Ruby rounded on him. "Can't you go one day without opening your fat mouth?'

I face-palmed again. Oh no…this was staring. I mentally shut myself off of their argument as we started walking down the road that would lead us away from the temple and over to High Hrothgar. I could estimate a good two day's walk, but one day if we ran. And we were going to run.

…

I looked up at the sky, drawing my blade. I knew I heard what I heard. Everyone else was preparing as well. We had been running for an hour now and were making great time. I was surprised that Maleek was able to keep up with us since he could not flash as fast as the rest of us. I had forgotten that M'aiq could flash, but thinking back to the bar fight…I had noticed him doing it before. We were already one-quarter the way to High Hrothgar already, but now we were halting in the snow. There was something in the sky. And if I recalled correctly, it rhymed with 'braggin''.

A loud roar ripped through the air again. Then, as almost as fast I could see it, I could feel it. The dragon came falling from the sky, its wings folded back. It flew right down on top of us, diving as quickly as a boulder fell from the sky. It landed on the ground with an impact strong enough to create a tidal wave of snow. It was an impact strong enough to throw us off our feet just by the sheer impact of wind and snow by itself, let alone earthquake that threw us off the ground in the first place.

I covered my eyes as snow and air flew at me like shards of ice. I hit the ground surprisingly hard and stumbled for only a second before I flipped over the back of my shoulder, planted my fist in the ground, and slid to halt a foot later. The dragon was looking for anyone getting up. Ruby and I were the first ones up. This was our fight. We would end this before anyone could even stand.

I closed my eyes and focused on my chakras. I mentally felt them breaking, flooding my body with a raging fire. I pushed my feet off the ground, feeling it shatter behind me as I flashed up to this dragon. I reached for my katana and looked up at the dragon. He was only inches away and he was still recovering from his crash as well. I unsheathed my sword, feeling the blade meet with scales. I could feel the air rip from my unsheathing slash. I may not have cut through all of him, but with the sheer power of the wind slash, I might as well have. The air that rolled off my blade's slash created a vacuum that ripped through anything just as well as my blade did.

I smiled as I felt and saw the dragon's left wing fall off. I glanced over at Ruby to see a bright purple flame roll off her crystal katana. She had enough crystals to forge her own crystal Akaviri katana. It was her master piece. Ruby herself came flying past the dragon's side, matching the same speed I was using. She smiled over at me. She had the same plan I did. If we took off the wings, we wouldn't have to worry about it flying away. Good thing she went after the other wing, it would have been embarrassing for us to crash into each other.

We landed in the snow and turned to face the dragon. He looked genuinely surprised but he wasn't sure that he was dead yet. He turned to face us.

_"YOOLL TOOR!"_ The dragon breathed at Ruby. Just as the fire rolled in, she prepared her shield to take it. Cecilie came out of nowhere, throwing herself in front of Ruby. She stuck out her hands, both of them glowing with master level magic. As the fire rolled in, Cecilie 'grabbed' it and started pushing it away. She shrugged the attack off like it was a fly. The fire rolled past them both, leaving the dragon completely by surprise.

"Don't forget me!" Maleek said as he suddenly burst from the snow underneath the dragon. He had two tantos in a back-hand stance. The dragon looked down long enough to see the Argonian and his tantos go through his neck. Maleek flew through one side of the throat and out the other. He rolled in mid-air and landed in a crouch. I could see him smile as the dragon's neck separated. The entire dragon just collapsed after that.

We walked up to the dead dragon and I shook my head. "Too bad Asger's not here to eat it's soul."

Cecilie smiled and approached. "You forget…I'm Dragonborn too." She opened her mouth and started inhaling. The dragon lit up into his little golden confetti. The confetti morphed into a bright aurora light that flowed from the air and into Cecilie's mouth. Once she 'consumed' the whole thing, she sat down for a second. She wiped the sweat off her head. "Man…that's harder than I thought."

I nodded to her. "Good, I'm glad that we could kill it for good. That's one less dragon that this world will ever see."

Cecilie smiled faintly. "And somehow…I feel that the world's a darker place because of it. If only they could be nice dragons like my teacher." She looked up at me. "I was partially raised by a dragon you know…Paarthurnax."

I shook my head to that. "Never heard of him."

She tilted her head to the side. "But…" She shook her head. "I'm sure you will soon enough."

I looked over at her with astonishment. Did she know something that I did not know? Well, she was a seer, so I was guessing that she had no problems knowing about any dragons that I was going to meet. If Paarthurnax was her teacher in her time, probably teaching her how to Shout…then he must be good enough of a dragon to let live then. I shrugged to my own comment. I would have to meet this dragon first.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: yes, Cecilie just ate her first dragon spirit. Yay...she can use new Shouts now. Yeah.. she knows Etherial and Animal Control... that's about it.._


	29. Ch 29: Burnout mode

**Cearbhail:**_ Man...this chapter...I had no idea it was going to end up where it ended up. I...I...(have no words for this.) Sigh...I'm losing my edge.._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I feel….just awful. My stomach will not stop turning, my legs are practically shot. Not to mention that I have this killer headache. Every time I open my eyes, the world seems to throw me back over so I can vomit. Well, that was about five minutes ago at least. I'm better now. You see…we can't use our powers like that frivolously. Breaking our limiters comes with a price…a burnout. Until we get better at doing them, it will continue to put us out of commission._

_So, when it came down to what happened after the dragon fight, Ruby and I threw up. Cecilie threw up as well, but that is not linked to what happened when she used her master level magic. No…she threw up because her body is not fully digesting the dragon's soul. She's not a true Dragonborn like Asger, she's an artificial Dragonborn. Something about Paarthurnax, blood draws, wizards, and a certain blood type. I don't know, she was gagging in-between explanations. Maleek gets off easy. Since he doesn't get heightened reflexes like the rest of us, he doesn't have to vomit. No…he only gets the shocked muscles that leave him partially paralyzed for a couple minutes._

_Oh well,_

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal and looked over at M'aiq, who was still looking at the rest of us. He only shook his head in amazement as he looked at how we were still crumpled on the ground.

"M'aiq is amazed…you move like he does. Servant to Dragonborn Asger did not move like this when M'aiq first met her." He clapped his hands in my direction. Then he walked over to Ruby, who was now just trying to push herself back onto her feet. "And you…misguided Khajiit cub…moved faster than Lydia. M'aiq considers her an equal to him in speed."

If Ruby had not looked so winded and left pathetic from her attempt at fighting, I could have sworn that she would have said something back to M'aiq. As it was, she was still grabbing her chest in an attempt to push air out of her lungs while she tried to catch her breath. Her other hand was still in the snow, trying to keep her semi-balanced as she fought falling back down into the snow. How did I know this? Because I was in the same position, trying to prevent the same thing. I knew that if I feel into the snow, I was _not_ getting back up anytime soon. I would pass out.

I looked over at Cecilie, who was still bent over, puking something rainbow colored. It was coming in shorter bursts now. Her face was pale blue and the rest of her body looked very weak. I would not blame her if she passed out as well. She may not be a strong fighter like myself, or fast like Ruby, but eating a soul…period…and then not having it adapt to the body must be mentally exhausting, if not deadly.

So, we continued to sit there, like idiots, for another six minutes. M'aiq was waiting patiently for us the whole time. "Do the Blades want a health potion?" "Do the Blades maybe want to get up and continue on, now?" "Do the Blades wish M'aiq to continue ahead and meet them at High Hrothgar?" "Do the Blades…nevermind." That last one M'aiq was standing over Ruby, patting her on the back. Ruby retched as he said 'nevermind'.

So, finally, when Ruby was able to stand up again…we had the beginnings to move around. I always received the worst burnout. It was because I could break all the mental limiters. I could heighten my reflexes and my body's speed. I could also become as strong as a giant. As far as I knew, doing both of those created a very bad situation for me. Ruby only had to deal with the heightened reflexes. Since she had that crystal weapon of hers, she could use her crystal sword's energy to create a similar slash. She could launch a wave of crystal energy that could actually cut through dragonscales.

I looked over at Maleek, who was twitching. He was lying flat on his back, just looking up at the sky. I smiled as I glanced over the rest of the team. Cecilie was just starting to bend over again, grabbing her stomach again. That made me feel sick myself so I looked away as I felt more bile building up.

You know…when you're at that stage where you feel like you're going to die but you can start moving again? Yeah…after ten minutes I started to feel like that. It took that long for my muscles to unclench, my stomach to settle, and my adrenaline to calm down. It also took that long for my blood to unboil, my headache to clear up, and my eyesight to clear up.

So, when I was finally at that stage, I stood up and took a deep breath. The cold air washed over my face and over my armored body. I suddenly felt very vulnerable to the cold. My body started shaking, slowly reminding me that my invincibility was wearing off and that I had been lying in the snow for over ten minutes now. I tried to wrap my arms around my front to protect myself, but all I felt was freezing armor. There was no way I could warm myself with cold plates like this.

That's when I thought of something. Maleek was cold-blooded. I wasn't. If I was freezing, Maleek was probably dead. I pushed off my knees, sprinting over to Maleek, who was still lying on his back. As I approached him, I could see that his skin was a paler green then it usually was. I was starting to turn brown. "Maleek?" I asked, but didn't receive any answer. I bent down and placed a finger to his neck, checking for a pulse. I wasn't sure if there was one, but I couldn't just dismiss it. I bent down and tried to pick him up. My fatigued muscles cried out in pain and I found myself falling on top of him instead of lifting him up.

"M'aiq!" I called. There was little left I could do. What the heck was I going to do if I did get to the top of High Hrothgar and fight Alduin? I was not in any shape to fight now. At least for a few hours where I could stretch out a few seconds worth of limitless power, but that was it. I heard M'aiq running over to me, so I forced myself to roll off of Maleek.

"Lydia calls M'aiq?" He said as he ran up to me, stretching out a hand for me to take.

I took his hand and he lifted me up. "Yes…Maleek. I think he's freezing to death. We need to get him somewhere warm before…you know…he dies."

M'aiq nodded and bent down to pick up Maleek. He scrunched his nose in disgust. "Yuck…he smells bad. As you sure it's not too late?" He asked, looking over at me.

I shrugged. "He's a main character, I'm sure he'll pull through." I replied as I stood up.

M'aiq smiled as he lifted Maleek onto his shoulder. "She talks like Asger does. Is she as crazy as the rest of us now?"

I looked down at my Blades armor. Over the course of five weeks, I acquired the strength and skill to kill a dragon single-handedly. Over the course of two months I had gone from a single woman living in a farmhouse outside Whiterun, to being a guard captain-in-training, to housecarl to the Dragonborn. From that I became a mother, the Dragonborn's girlfriend. In that course of time we killed a dragon, took a fort away from Stormcloaks, killed off the previous Thieves Guild, replaced it, took the city of Riften and turned it from a rat-hole into a respectable town, and saved Dawnstar from a Daedra Lord who ate dreams. If I was not at least some sort of crazy…I don't know how I managed to stay sane.

So, I shrugged and said, "I do not know what you are talking about, M'aiq. I'm just as sane as…everyone else."

He smiled. "That is good to hear." He said as he raised his free hand over his head. I looked confused, but I could see Cecilie and Ruby raising their hands as well. I started to turn around but I heard a bow pull back.

"You turn that head…and I'll take it off." A rough masculine voice said from behind me.

I sighed. "But if I don't…how will I know what's behind me?"

Then I heard someone approaching me. "M'aiq? Should I be worried?"

I could see him baring his teeth. "Who haven't we dealt with yet?" He asked, looking over at me.

"Hands up, brigand. Behind your head." The voice called.

I put my hands up behind my head. "Vampires?"

M'aiq laughed. "In the daytime? Try again."

"Is it a Vigilant of Stendar?" I asked as my hands were tied up behind my back. Then I felt some cloth coming up over my back.

"Just as scary, M'aiq thinks." He answered.

The cloth flew over my head, pulling tight around my neck. "Ok, I give up. What is it?"

"Shut it, woman. You five just killed that dragon with little effort. I'm sure Jarl Ulfric will want to see you." The voice called from behind me.

"Stormcloaks?" I asked/yelled. I could not believe it. All this time we had slipped past all the Stormcloaks. I hadn't even seen one, even though I heard all about their rebellion.

I felt a strong hand come over and grab me by my tied arms, lifting me up. It started pulling me away. If it was enough to make everyone put their hands on their heads, I wondered just how many of them there were. There had to be at least enough to make everyone nervous. Heck, everyone but M'aiq was completely worn out.

I turned my head around, not being able to see anything because of the black hood covering my face. "Look…you have to let us go. We have to get to High Hrothgar…now!"

"And why do you think we'd listen to you?" The man asked me. "Because we have the authority of Jarl Ulfric to bring any capable warriors back to Windhelm."

"Well, we have the authority of the Dragonborn! Are you stupid enough to mess with the legendary hero of Skyrim?" Cecilie yelled through some fabric. At least, I think she was bound.

I heard small laughs escape several mouths. "We're also looking for the Dragonborn, so you're only making us want you more." Some woman said to my left.

"Oh, we saw you, young lady. You consumed that dragon's soul. That's why we want you all to come with us. Uniformed mercenaries whose armor resembles Blades' armor and a Dragonborn? Imagine the threat you pose to the Thalmor. I'm sure Jarl Ulfric will want to speak to you all. You will want to hear what he has to say." The person holding responded.

I sighed. "She is not the true Dragonborn. The real…" I stopped. What was I thinking? I could not tell him where Asger was. I could not get him involved in this. These guys were terrorists. They were creating a civil war in Skyrim, killing people and taking their homes away from them.

The person pulling me stopped. "Wait…what? Where is the real Dragonborn?"

Cecilie answered. "He's going to fight Alduin…and he needs our help, otherwise he might be killed."

"Alduin…as in the World Eater Alduin?" My captor said with quickening interest. "And he needs help? Oh…this is worse than Jarl Ulfric thought. Where is this fight going to happen?"

Cecilie smiled. "On top of High Hrothgar. I'm sure if you help him out…he'll go willingly to Jarl Ulfric for a good long chat."

My captor seemed to consider the idea. "If this is a trick, I will throw you all off the top of High Hrothgar…with the exception of the young girl. She can eat dragon souls…she is Dragonborn. She is wanted alive. But the rest of you…are just leverage to keep her around."

"This is no trick, I swear to you. The true Dragonborn is going to what is known as the Throat to the World where he hopes to learn a Shout that will kill Alduin the World Eater. He needs our help if he is to survive." Cecilie said, her voice light and calm.

"Alright, then." My captor said, pulling me tighter. He pulled me down and I felt him reaching for my throat. I thought he was going to kill me, but instead he was undoing the knot around my throat. He pulled the cover off of my face and turned me to face him.

It was a strong looking man with blond hair. He smiled at me and said, "My name is Ralof, I'm a Stormcloak…but you already know that, don't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah…you guys do nothing but kill innocent people and stir up wars."

Ralof look genuinely hurt. "What? Me? No…I'm just a simple man who wants to worship Talos freely. The Thalmor are taking our country away and we're not doing a damn thing about it. That needs to stop. They've taken too much as it is." He pointed to his friends. I was surprised by the number of them. There was at least a group of twenty. "We all volunteered because of what the Thalmor have done. Some people here lost relatives who were imprisoned for Talos worship, some were killed. Others…disappeared during the Purge. Some had families in Cyrodiil who died in the war. Some people lived through the war and are now still fighting it." He directed me to him. "Me? Why do I fight? Because I'm a true Nord…I believe in our ways. And the Empire…ever since that White-Gold Concordat…stopped fighting for us, stopped fighting for what we all believe. It caved, it gave up. I don't believe in giving up…not while I still have breath."

I was stunned. I…I had no comeback for that. I shook my head in defeat. "Ok, you have a fair argument, but…"

"You think that's a valid reason to conduct war?" Ruby shouted through her cover.

Ralof looked over at Ruby and sneered. "Shut up, cat. Your voice has no weight here."

"Hey! You can't talk to her like that!" Maleek shouted through his cover.

Ralof looked over at me. "Have your friends no manners? They know that this is not their land, right?"

I shook my head in disgust. "I used to be like you…afraid of them." I motioned over to Ruby and Maleek. "But…I've learned a thing or two about them. While Maleek is a stereotypical Argonian and Ruby a stereotypical Khajiit, they are both better than most Nords and Imperials that I've met."

Ralof nodded. "If you say so. It does not matter. We're wasting daylight. We need to get to High Hrothgar, right? So, why are we here arguing like politician? We're warriors, right? Let's do what warriors do…"

"Get drunk?" I asked.

"Steal gems?" Ruby asked.

"Assassinate politicians?" Maleek asked.

"Complain to the new generation about how easy they have it?" M'aiq asked.

"Get ourselves involved in numerous battles that go around in circles trying to find an answer that lies so obviously in front of us; but we couldn't find it earlier because we had no knowledge of how to get there in the first place?" Cecilie asked.

Ralof nodded to me. "I like your suggestion the best." And then he pointed to M'aiq. "Ulfric did that to me…" Then he pointed to Maleek. "Hell yes." But then he looked over at Cecilie. "But hers is the closest." He shook his head. "No…what I suggest is what warriors such as ourselves do best…get in the way of the hero and the villain, and distract him long enough for the hero to kill him once and for all."

Everyone behind him cheered. They thought it was the greatest idea in the world. Did they forget how plans like that worked? It involved every nameless character and a few named and much loved main characters to die…

I sure hope it wasn't me.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Yes...eventually I was going to get the Stormcloaks involved. Because of how the book must eventually play out...it has to be done. If any of you read some chapters of the Shoutmen...you know why. Anyway, new chapter should be out soon._


	30. Ch 30: Ralof's story

**Cearbhail:**_ Sorry it's been a while. I had no idea what to do for this once I started it...but I guess it turned out alright. Ok, please enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Have you ever been in the company of Nord terrorists? I have, all day. Now…normally, you'd believe that these terrorists are scary…maybe serious, or just even…cruel. Do you have any idea what they are really like? Loud….drunk….Nords. And not just loud drunk Nords, they are loud drunk Nords who do nothing more than party. No wonder why this large group hasn't made a very big impact yet. They're too busy having their large drinking parties. Thinking back to that Stormcloak base we captured…they were partying all that night too._

_Oh yeah, something new too. Ralof…that blond haired guy…I forgot that he lived in Riverwood with Hadvar. You see…I knew Hadvar. He was like my best friend. I may have lived in a farm outside Whiterun, but it was just a small hike up the path next to the waterfall every day to get to Riverwood. I never got there without something happening, but it was worth it to hang out with my friends. Ralof was also there with us. He was like that weird kid that you saw every day, even talked to, but pretty much ignore. Don't get me wrong, Ralof was a fun kid, he just didn't click with our group as easily as everyone else._

_Anyway, we're finally at Ivarstead. We're preparing to march up the mountain all…7,000 steps. Am I looking forward to it? No… in fact I've never even wanted to come here. I'm not interested in climbing the mountain, I'm not interested with the reclusive old men who haven't seen a women in 40+ years. And finally, I'm not interested in meeting Jarl Ulfric. I know that's what's coming next. With how our lives seem to revolve around everyone else's petty needs and desires…we never seem to get a rest of it when we're around Asger._

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal as I looked up at the massive mountain just in front of me. I could feel the cold breeze flowing down the mountain. That breeze was probably going to be the only thing that would make this climb bearable. Ralof was rubbing the top of his head, looking up the mountain as well. I looked back at my team, who were all looking up the mountain, very disinterested.

The crew of Stormcloaks stood behind us, weapons at the ready. Some of them had bows out with arrows pulled back. These mountains were supposed to be dangerous but I wasn't completely sure if they were. People climbed these steps every day. If they were really _that_ dangerous, people would not climb these steps regardless of how sacred this site was.

Ralof looked back at me and raised his eyebrows in mock excitement. "Well, are we all ready?"

Ruby raised her hand. "Can I stay here?"

Ralof's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Normally, I wouldn't care at all about you…but since you're under our arrest…I have to." He grabbed her by the wrist. "No…you're staying right next to me."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Jeez…you could at least buy me dinner first."

Ralof pushed her away. He shook his head in minor disgust and looked over at me. "You…Lydia? Take the front."

I arched my eyebrows back at him. Really? He wanted me to take the front? I walked in front of him and shrugged. "Afraid to get your hands dirty? Are you really going to let a woman take the front?"

He smiled as he looked back at his group of friends. "I'd rather have a woman at my front, where I can watch her back…rather than behind me." He winked at me. "And since you're such a looker, I much prefer to watch you."

I rolled my eyes and turned around. "I have a boyfriend."

He smiled. "Oh? Did not know I was asking." He walked up next to me. "What's his name?"

Remembering something about Ralof that really pissed him off…I just had to say it. I looked over at him and smiled. "Hadvar…from Riverwood."

"Hadvar?" His face reddened immediately.

Cecilie chuckled to herself and walked up. She wrapped her arms around me and said, "And…I'm her daughter."

Ralof looked down at her and then his face returned to neutral. "Yeah…sure you are. You're too old to be her daughter."

"M'aiq believes the Nord deserves to know that the girl is from the future." M'aiq said as he walked up beside me.

"This Nord believes that the walking carpet should go home now." Ralof replied.

That drew both M'aiq's and Ruby's mouths to drop. They started to turn around, both of them purring out in mock disapproval.

Ruby stepped away. "Oh…woe is me. Forced to leave this land of frozen promises…and return to…" She looked over at me. "Where am I from again?"

M'aiq hissed in amusement. "She hails from Elsweyr."

Ruby shook her head. "No…she doesn't. Lydia is from Whiterun…I think."

M'aiq hissed in amusement. "He understands her joke. Ruby hails from Elsweyr. It is a land filled with hills and hills of sand. We have a small outlet of tropical jungles where our dark-furred brethren hunt, while orange-furs like M'aiq and Ruby live in the desert."

Ruby smiled and nodded. "Sounds a lot better than this crappy place. It's just too cold here."

Ralof looked offended. "Hey now…Skyrim is a glorious place. I'd rather dress as warm as I need to be instead of shedding all my armor…and still cook to death."

Maleek crossed his arms and smiled. "That's why Black Marsh is perfect. It's humid, sure, but it's not too cold or too warm."

M'aiq shook his head. "But…the plants are poisonous to everyone but Argonians. That and the entire nation is a giant swamp. Khajiits do not do water that well." He dismissed the idea with a shake of his hand. "Either way…that land is pointless. There are barely enough places to settle down and why would anyone want to anyway? As far as I can tell, the Argonians moved into the land so that they could drink their hallucinogenic sap all day long."

Maleek's mouth dropped. "Hey…How about I tell you what I think of your nation…"

…

Ten minutes passed with everyone bickering with no stopping. Ralof continued to argue with M'aiq and Ruby about just how great Skyrim was and how they should be more upset about having to be forced out of their country, M'aiq did not care about what Ralof said, but continued to sell the idea of moving to Elsweyr to Ruby, who just wanted to stay away from there as much as possible. She really wanted to move to Solitude, even though no one really wanted her to be here. While Maleek was just content with laughing at Ruby's growing situation of M'aiq trying to get her to move to Elsweyr, her wanting to move to Solitude, and then Ralof saying that she couldn't stay in Skyrim.

Cecilie continued to stand in of the formation, her arms crossed. I don't think she said a single thing during the entire argument. During all that, I continued to hold my tongue as well. I don't know why Ruby continued to buy into Ralof's goading. Did she not understand that this man was _not_ the voice of everyone in Skyrim? He had no more power in his entire being then I did outside of my household. All the Stormcloaks started watching our group arguing with everyone, laughing at some of the things that we all said.

I was happy just looking up the mountain, listening to all of them arguing to each other. It gave me time to check my equipment. My armor was barely scratched, even though it had seen enough battles already. I glanced back up at the group to see Ruby and Maleek fighting with each other. Neither of them were old enough, or of the correct species, to wear Blades armor. So, as it was, we had Maleek wearing a modified version of his father's shadowscale armor, while Ruby was wearing a thick, slightly plated, hide studded armor that she stained purple and red. Seeing the two of them roll around on the ground, it looked like a giant collection of black, red, and purple. Their voices seemed to mesh into two scratchy high-pithed annoying voices that outweighed anyone else arguing.

I could see the Stormcloaks gathering around them. One of the men stepped in front of everyone else with a hide helmet. "Oh…they're at it again! Who will win this time? The young fast cat…or the tough scaly lizard? Place your bets!"

"Fifty septim on the lizard!"

"Twenty on the cat!"

Other voices seemed to start calling out while Ruby and Maleek rolled on the ground. Ruby could hear the voices call and looked over at me. Then she looked over at Cecilie and winked. Cecilie nodded back. "300 on the lizard!" Cecilie called.

Ralof pushed her away. "No! We do not accept seers in the betting ring."

Then…it grew silent. Everyone was looking over at Cecilie and contemplating their options. "400 on the lizard!" "300 on the lizard!"

It was growing mad. Everyone was now betting on Ruby to lose, while some people thought that there was something else at play so they increased their own value of their bets for her to win. Ruby, the entire time, was laughing to herself but was looking up at me while she grabbed Maleek by his back. She winked at me. Ok…guess it was my turn.

Ok…I should explain. This was a common thing for Maleek and Ruby to do. They would fight, and someone would start a betting pool. Ruby seemed to control the fights because she seemed to be able to defeat Maleek every time…well, except for when she purposely lost. Well, she wanted everyone to make it look like she was going to be defeated, and having Cecilie the Seer placing a bet on her to lose, it got everyone to bet against her as well. Ruby hadn't won a single fight against Maleek yet in the presence of the Stormcloaks, but I guess now was my time to change that.

"4,000 on Ruby!" I called out.

Everyone looked up at me like I was crazy. After all, Ruby was already letting Maleek pin her arms to the ground, preparing to spit in her face, as was the winning factor in their fights. I shrugged as I looked around. "Hey…if I'm wrong, I guess I'm buying lunch?"

Everyone nodded in reply. We all looked down at Ruby, who was still struggling underneath Maleek's hold. He smiled at her. "I get to spit you in the face again? You make this too easy, kitty."

He leaned back, making that disgusting sound as he prepared his finishing move. It that second, Ruby brought her leg underneath Maleek and brought her knee straight up into his groin. He spat out in complaint and Ruby dodged the airborne missile that flew dangerously close to her face. When Maleek reached down to grab himself in pain, Ruby brought her head up and head-butted him. He released her arms, which led to her flying up, grabbing him by the neck, spun around behind him and yelled, "WET DRAGON TALON!"

She stuck her finger in her mouth and then pushed her finger into Maleek's small earhole. Maleek cried out in discomfort and said, "Yuck, get that wet finger out of my ear!"

Ruby smiled as she pushed Maleek away, throwing her arms up in a victorious dance. "I won!"

Ralof looked at Ruby, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He looked over at me, over to her, and over to me again. He finally shook his head and walked over to me, offering the whole helmet. "Count 8,000 and return the rest to me." He looked back at his teammates, "We should get going now. We don't know how much longer until this Alduin arrives."

…

Well, as it turned out there wasn't 8,000 gold pieces in the helmet, so I got to keep all of it. Nothing felt better than taking all the Stormcloaks money away from them. The way they continue harassed Maleek and Ruby, it seemed that the two of them actually set up that fight and Ruby was supposed to win the whole time. Of course, they enjoyed fighting with each other but they were almost friends now. It was nice to see that the two of them could trick every Nord out of their money…even though I think I should not be proud of them for doing so.

I looked down at the helmet and shrugged. I didn't really care about this, but I guess it was helpful to have some money for any future expenses. I passed the helmet off to Ruby. She smiled as she took the helmet from me and casually dumped it, helmet and all, into her bag. The slight breeze poured off the mountain and I stopped to enjoy the breeze. Looking over the side of the mountain, I could see Whiterun far away. It looked so small from here, just a giant walled place filled with roofs and one giant fire pit.

Ralof stepped next to me and looked over the mountain. "That's where you live, right?" He asked as he crossed his arms and looked down at the town.

I nodded. "Yeah…" I pointed down at my farmhouse, just to the east of Whiterun. "That farmhouse…that one…" I said, pointing closer to him. "That's my house. I grew up there." I said, looking over at him. "You should know…you used to come around all the time. You know…" I said, looking at his blue guard armor. "Before you joined a terrorist cult."

Ralof actually smiled and laughed. "I don't see it that way and you know it. I see it as that we're the only people fighting for Skyrim's freedom. Everyone else has just…given up." He pointed to the top of the mountain. "Now…that person…the Dragonborn…he has the power to free Skyrim once and for all. I know that if he can just…talk to Jarl Ulfric, they will come to some agreement that will be for Skyrim's benefit." He spread his arms out wide. "You've seen us for yourself. We aren't just a small rebellion, we're an army now. We're Skyrim's army! We don't need the empire, hiding behind the Thalmor's pocket! We need soldiers who will fight for what _we_ need. And what we need is to get our balls back."

That last comment drew a smile to my lips and I turned to face him. "You were always just…a little off."

Ralof shrugged. "I hardly remember those days anymore. You, Ysolda, Hadvar, Oflina, Jon, and I got in some real adventures back in the day." He rubbed the back of his head. "You know, even back then, the way Oflina and Jon went back and forth with their flirty talk, I knew that they'd end up together."

I brought my hand up to shut him up. "Don't remind me. Those two are still hiding from our parents, hoping that our family feud will end someday so they can be married."

Ralof shrugged. He looked over at M'aiq and Ruby. "I bet Ysolda will be happy to meet those two, though. She was always a cat person."

I looked over at Ruby and M'aiq. M'aiq was teaching Ruby some ancient Khajiit martial art. Maleek was patiently watching from the side, his arms crossed and watching Ruby intently.

I shook my head. I wondered how much longer they would continue to be at each other's throats like they were. Of course, with how their hatred turned into almost…well…respect, it was a scary thought that I think the two were starting to appreciate each other.

"I'm sorry, it's just been a while since I've talked to anyone." Ralof said, rubbing he back of his head. "Ever since I've joined the Stormcloaks, I'm not exactly welcomed in Whiterun or Riverwood." He found himself sitting down, staring down at Whiterun. "It seems like ages since I've gotten to just…enjoy life." He looked up at me. "I was in Helgen…when a dragon attacked. I was in a line of Stormcloaks…we were going to be executed." He shook his head. "All I could think about was…this girl I met in Helgen, how we had some days to ourselves. And…it's just…" He stood back up.

I watched as he continued walking up the mountain. "Do you know what it feels like? Do fight for your country…to do what you feel is right…and then…" He looked back at me. His eyes were tearing up. "you find yourself at an executioner's block, everyone shouting curses at you. They wait for you to die, just so they can spite you." He shook his head. "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this war…but I can't stop fighting now. We're so close…" He stepped towards me. "You…" He grabbed me by my shoulders. "After this…after this dragon fight. If I die…promise me that you'll tell Ysolda that I love her."

I nodded. "I will."

He nodded. "After that…I want you to evacuate everyone from Whiterun. Jarl Ulfric is planning on invading soon. We had a setback in the Rift so we had to hold up for a bit and then there was some problem in Dawnstar. Jarl Ulfric is getting antsy. He feels that the Empire is closing in and he's going to act out. He feels that if he controls Whiterun that he'll have some solid ground to fight upon."

"That is enough!" One of the women Stormcloaks said as she walked up. "You cannot just share our combat information with a possible enemy."

Ralof looked back at her. "Jess…this is no enemy. This is my old friend. I trust her with my life."

I smiled. I guess I was happy to see him again. I never really noticed him in our group, but he was always loyal. I wondered what happened to him. What made him become what he was today? I shook my head. I could not think about that now. What I had to focus on was the person he was, not how he got there. But more than anything, we had to get to the top of this mountain.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Trying to make Ralof more than just a Stormcloak soldier. I hope to show some dream sequences where they were younger, teenagers, and having their adventures on the side. But...it's not all that important to the overall story, even though everything is involved in some way to where the story is going. Anyway, might be starting another new book, since the shoutmen will be closing up in about two weeks._


	31. Ch 31: The impassible door

**Cearbhail:**_ yes, shorter, but... coming faster. Honestly, I just wanted to get this out of the way. I hope it goes over well. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I cannot believe what just happened. First…I was talking to Ralof about our old glory days. Back when hunting deer and killing wolves was the extent of our excitement. You know…teenager stuff. Well, we found ourselves talking about that draugr infested burial grounds that we found ourselves in on my fourteenth birthday. You see…we went out for a picnic, after Jon hunted us a good deer for lunch. Somehow…we had chosen an old draugr graveyard to eat our lunch at. We didn't know this at the time…we were just enthralled with the red grass. … That should have been a dead giveaway. Well, the entire grave seemed to pull itself out of the ground. I'm pretty sure all of us screamed as loud as a banshee and we took off as fast as we could back to Riverwood. Well, those draugr chased us until they found Riverwood. Well, regardless to say…we were in a lot of trouble. If it wasn't for the fact that everyone had to pitch in to kill the bastards before they could kill us all wasn't enough, Ysolda twisted her ankle while we were running away. I will never forget just how melodramatic she was when she fell down and just…didn't move._

_Well, anyway, we were all grounded for a week (yeah, I know…such a harsh punishment for nearly killing the town). That didn't really matter to us, though. I mean, it was the day that Jon (my cousin) and that Oflina Gray-Mane fell in love. Just talking to Ralof reminded me of all the stuff we did as children and as teenagers. I sort of had a fling with both Hadvar and Ralof at some point, nothing big…just small romantic encounters with both. I never would have guessed that Ralof would have fallen in love with Ysolda, who lived in Helgen up until recently. Thank Talos that she moved back to Whiterun to conquer her mother's old inn, otherwise she might have died in the dragon attack in Helgen._

_Well, I guess that's not the only thing I should be writing in my journal. I'm supposed to convey what happens in between the chapters of my life. Well, after my heartfelt discussion with Ralof, we almost immediately found ourselves at High Hrothgar, the temple of the Graybeards. We knocked…and knocked…and knocked. Finally, after an hour of waiting, the door opens up and this really old man patiently walks out to greet us. After a few seconds of looking at us…he slams the door. Now…we're stuck out here._

_Lydia…_

…

"Hey…open the door. We only wish to help the Dragonborn!" Ralof screamed at the top of his lungs as he banged on the door.

"You shall not gain entry while those Blades are within your group." The weathered old man shouted back through the door.

I sighed as I stepped up the stairs. Normally, I was against this sort of thing…but now I knew why Mjoll acted the way she did. The way she acted got fast results. And right now…we needed fast results.

I walked up to Ralof and grabbed him by the shoulder I pulled him back and said, "Move…I'll handle this."

He looked uncertain until I brought my fist back. I guess he remembered the dragon fight that he watched us in because he was running clear of the door. I looked back at everyone else and nodded. I turned to the door and said, "I am the Dragonborn's housecarl. I received a letter telling me to come and help him. NOTHING you do will stop me from getting up this mountain. Not you…not your shouters…not your pet dragon. Do you hear me?" I pushed against the door and said, "You have three seconds to comply before I bust down this door." "ONE!"

I looked at the door, hoping to hear something. When I didn't, I said, "TWO!"

I waited again. I looked back at Ralof and shook my head. I looked back at the door and sighed as loudly as I could. "You better back away. Once I say three, this door _is_ coming down."

"THREE!"

"_FUS_!"

I slammed my fist on the door, but it was useless. The door blasted open in the opposite direction. I was lifted off my feet by an invisible force that not only lifted me up, but threw me off the staircase. I landed in the snow, a good twenty feet away, with Ralof right behind me.

I looked up at the entranceway to see the old man looking down at me. He was shaking his head lightly as if I had failed some test. He walked back into the room, closing the door behind him. I felt so embarrassed that I had been beaten so easily, but I wasn't ready to give up yet. I stood up and marched up to the door. "You got lucky, old man! Now…I'm not holding back." I reared back to punch the door.

"_FEIM_!"

As my fist came to the door, it suddenly flew through it. Then…something rejected my hand, throwing it back outside. I looked down at my hand, still see-through. I reached in to punch the door again, only to find that it was still unable to do any sort of damage. It was like my body wasn't physically part of the world. I swore to myself as I stood there, waiting for whatever had happened to wear off. Finally, my hand reshaped into the physical one I knew. I reached over and punched a pillar to my right. The pillar shattered into a thousand pieces. Good, my hand was back. I turned my attention to the door in front of me.

"_FIIK LO SAH_!"

I heard from inside the door. I stepped back, waiting for something to happen. When I didn't see anything, I turned around to see a glowing old man in Graybeard robes standing only inches away.

"You do not understand…we cannot permit Blades into our temple. You will kill our leader." The specter said.

I raised my hands in defense. "Whoa…I take my orders from Asger. Unless he tells me to kill the dragon, I won't."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I still cannot let you come in. In order to get up where the Dragonborn is…you need a Dragonborn to get to him. That is the only way you'll enter these halls."

Cecilie stepped up to say something, but the specter disappeared. I waved her back and said, "No…he made me a ghost. This is personal. I will not let him play with me like that." I turned back to the wall. "Ok fine…you can deny my fists a proper target. Bet you can't do the same for my sword!" I screamed as I unsheathed my katana. I charged up, slashing as hard as I could at the door.

"_ZUN HAAL VIIK_!"

As my hand came flying down toward the door, my sword just blasted out of my hands. I heard it hitting the ground, only a few inches away from me. Me… on the other hand…was not prepared for that. My fist came to the door, preparing for a sword slash and ended up hitting my hand on the corner of the door. I cried out in pain as I grabbed my hand and backed away from the door.

"Oh…I'm sorry dear. Here…let me make it better." The old man said from the other side of the door.

"_IISS_!"

My hand instantly froze, as did both my feet and my other hand…that was still holding my busted hand. I couldn't move and I definitely couldn't punch. I sighed as I looked over at Ralof in defeat. "I cannot believe I was just beaten by an old man…and his door."

Ralof nodded as he walked up to me. "Ok…my turn." He said as he walked up to the doorway. He pounded on the door. "I am Ralof of Riverwood. I speak on Jarl Ulfric's behalf. Either you will open this door or you will be named an enemy of the Stormcloak army and we will be forced to break in and do as we please."

"I have only three words for you and your friends…Stormcloaks." The old man said.

Ralof grabbed the great-axe from his back and prepared for a fight. "Bring it, old man!" He shouted. He looked around frantically, no doubt trying to prepare himself for something new.

"_FAAS RU MAAR_!"

I looked over at Ralof, who looked stunned. He slowly slid the axe over his back and nodded in understanding. "Oh…ok…" He said as he turned around. He nodded to his partners, who were just as shocked as him.

I continued to look at them. They looked like…well…I don't really know how to describe them. Their faces reminded me of Ysolda when she was on her busted ankle, staring down at draugr. It was the look of complete terror. Finally, one of the men in the back screamed in pain. "Oh my gods…I have to leave." Then he turned around and bolted away.

Ralof only nodded. It was like he understood what had just happened to his soldier. He looked over at me and said, "Lydia…I'm sorry but…I cannot stay here. We will be waiting for you and your Dragonborn in Ivarstead. Please honor our agreement." He said before he slowly clambered off, his eyes still wide and dilated. I could only begin to imagine what just happened to him.

Ralof only nodded to his troops. "Come…I'm sure we all need some rest after that." They all nodded and they turned around, going back down the mountain they had just climbed 7,000 steps to get to.

Cecilie finally shook her head and walked up to the door. She pounded on the door and said, "As a Dragonborn, I demand that you open this door, immediately!"

"Don't be stupid, girl. There is only one Dragonborn." The old man said through the door.

"Not if he bred, there isn't!" She replied. "How about this? _FUS_!"

Just with that sound, I saw the door fly open and the man behind it was flying off his feet and into the center lobby. He landed on his back and slid for a few meters before he came to a stop. He looked up at Cecilie as if he was now seeing her for the first time.

Cecilie looked over at me and put her mouth to my hands. "_YOL._" She whispered quietly. The ice covering my hands and my feet melted off, leaving me with cold and numb hands.

The old man was now standing up, wiping something off his mouth. He took in a deep breath before standing up, dusting off his old ugly robes. He finally bowed to her and said, "Come…say that Shout again. I wish to taste it."

Cecilie snickered and shook her head. "You old men as still just as pervy as when I first met you." She walked up to him and said, "Ok, fine. Here, enjoy it while you can. This is the only time I'm doing this again." She took in a deep breath. "_FUS_!"

The old man drifted back a bit, throwing himself forward, mouth open, his eyes rolled back into his head. I could see his left eye twitching as he took my daughter's attack head-on. When the invisible attack was over, he was brushing his lips off with his fingers. He nodded in delight. "That was by far the tastiest Unrelenting Force I've ever tasted. Thank you, Dragonborn." He said, bowing to her. He smiled and looked around. "Two Dragonborns in one era…this is a promising sign that we're about to come upon a lot of new Dragonborns."

Cecilie only smiled and brushed the back of her head in excitement. "You have no idea…"

The old man bowed and said, "I am Master Arngeir. I serve as the main instructor to the Way of the Voice."

Cecilie bowed right back. "I am Cecilie Battle-Born. We will meet again…in a few years, I'm sure. But…I'll be a lot younger when you will meet me. You see…I'm from the future." She waved her fingers around, trying to be both annoying and mystical. "I know, I know…it's hard to believe."

"Not really." Arngeir announced with a shrug. "Who are we to contradict you? …You are Dragonborn, who knows what powers you possess?" He shrugged again. "Come young lady, you have to reach the top of the mountain…in order to get there, you need to know a specific Shout."

Cecilie chuckled as she walked away from Arngeir. "You already taught it to me. Clear Skies. I'm ready. We're in a hurry. Alduin is on his way and we're needed to stop him."

Arngeir only shrugged. "We will not try to stop you. You are doing as your destiny dictates, I'm sure." He waved the rest of us inside the building. "Come, come. We must not dawdle." He looked over at Cecilie and said, "So…we meet in the future?"

Cecilie nodded. "Yes…you see, when was seven years old, my mommy and daddy decided that it would be best if I learned how to Shout the proper way, so…"

"Dawdle?" Ruby asked as she looked up at me. "What's that mean?"

The question distracted me for a second, throwing my attention away from the conversation that Cecilie and Arngeir were having. Once again, I wanted to know something and something else was getting in the way of me knowing it.

The question Ruby asked brought a smile from M'aiq. "My, my. Young Khajiit Ruby still has much old person lingo to master. Dawdle means to move slowly…or idly. It also means to waste time…a thing that we are very good at, no?"

That brought a smile to Ruby as she nodded. "Yeah…we're definitely good at wasting time alright."

I looked back at them and hushed them. "Hey…I've missed a lot of very important information ever since I've met Asger…I'm not going to miss out on what's going on here." I said as I threw my attention back to the conversation happening between my daughter and Arngeir.

Arngeir nodded. "Yes…I can understand that, but have you ever tried just using the Dismay Shout? After all, I just…"

"M'aiq thinks that the Nord woman needs a chill pill. She needs to enjoy life more; catch more butterflies, and eat pancakes." M'aiq said with a growing smile on his face.

"What is with you and butterflies?" Ruby asked. "When we were in that temple of dream eaters, you said that same thing too."

"And the pancakes? You and Asger both…always with the pancakes.." I found myself saying. Once I found out that my attention had drifted again, I face-palmed and threw my attention forward.

"Oh…so that's why you studied under Paarthurnax. Very interesting." Arngeir said. He opened the door to the courtyard and said, "Well, thank you for indulging an old man with future history lessons. I must say…I certainly hope that our future is as bright as you say it is."

Cecilie smiled. "Oh…I plan on making it so." She said as she walked out into the courtyard.

Arngeir nodded to us. "Well, just follow this Dragonborn and you'll all arrive to the Throat of the World. Beware…not everything is as it seems." He said with an ominous tone.

I found myself sighing with displeasure again. I cannot believe that I missed vital information for the twentieth time in my life. I was beginning to wonder if I had some disease that prevented me from truly focusing on one certain factor…as if my brain would just…grow lazy and think of something other than what I was supposed to think of. Oh wait…what was I thinking? There was no such disease for that. What was I thinking? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to try harder next time to stay focused.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I won't be sure just how short it really was until it's already out, so I can only guess. I guess it really doesnt' matter as long as it has two elements... a full consice thought and some humor in it to make up for any short comings. Yes... short comings... if you have any, just be funny and it will make it all better..._


	32. Ch 32: Maleek Vs Ruby

**Cearbhail:**_ Yay...new chapter. I will not lie to you, it gets pretty rough up ahead. Ruby and Maleek...this close to killing each other. And...well, you'll see._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, we're finally past the Graybeards, past all the snow, mist, ice wraiths, and that one frost troll. So, we finally made it to the top of the mountain and what do we find? Nothing. There was no one even up here. Well, there wasn't until we heard a loud roar in the sky and saw a dragon flying above us. I reached for my weapon but Cecilie grabbed my sword arm and said, "Paarthurnax. Friendly."_

_So, I reluctantly released my grip on my handle and watched as the dragon moved around us. He landed on some giant dragon-imprinted wall and then just looked at us. It was the first time I've ever been able to just…look at a dragon before. I wanted to go up and poke him, just to see what he'd do in return._

_So, when we asked him where Asger was…he just stared at us. He wouldn't talk at all. So, we found ourselves just sitting down, looking up at him. We've been like this for over an hour now. I was so bored, I thought I'd just let everyone know._

_Lydia_

…

Clouds floated above my head, slowing moving southwest at a slow crawling speed. There was no definite shape to them, not one that I could tell anyway. They continuously shifted to new shapes, taking new forms. To me…at this moment, clouds seemed to be the perfect form of art. Art that continually changes, taking new meanings, expressing the deeper level of the meaning of life and how it never stays the same shape or feeling.

I openly sighed as I stretched out. I was so bored that my mind seemed to connect the flowing nature of clouds and how they seemed to represent the meaning of life. I needed to fix this. I sat up and looked over at Maleek and Ruby. Both were lying next to each other, eyes closed and snoring lightly. Maleek didn't want to freeze to death so he asked Ruby to keep him warm while he slept. She reluctantly did so, by only request of myself and M'aiq.

Cecilie was quietly sitting near me, her eyes closed and her blue mage hood pulled over her head. She was worn out from all Shouting she had to do to get us up here. She was so tired that she decided to not even bother talking to the dragon sitting twenty feet away from us. I think she was asleep but with the way she was rubbing a small round orange stone, I think she was still awake. The stone she was holding was a sunstone. At least, that's what Ruby called it. It was supposed to keep people warm no matter what. Cecilie must have been using it to keep her partially exposed body warm. Oh yeah…she was out of her blade armor and into her battlemage armor. Hence her blue mage hood.

I looked around the snow covered landscape, not seeing anyone else. I thought Asger was here so…where was he? I sighed as I lied back down in the snow, which caused Cecilie to shift. She looked over at me with her glazed over eyes. They looked exhausted. She nodded a greeting to me and then closed her eyes and continued to soundlessly sit there.

I looked over at M'aiq, who was looking at the dragon. The dragon shifted glances from me to him, just watching us all. I wondered how long we would sit here in complete silence. I exhaled my boredom and decided to swallow my pride as a Blade.

"Hey…dragon. Are you Paarthurnax?" I asked the dragon.

His long neck and head swung over to look at me. He blinked for a few seconds and went back to watching M'aiq, who was only sitting a few inches away from his mouth.

"He won't talk to Blades, mom." Cecilie said softly, as if waking up from a nap. She turned on her side away from me. "Just wait like…three more minutes. He'll be back soon."

I groaned softly, getting more agitated. I wondered just how long we would have to sit up here and wait for Asger to arrive or…whatever was going on. He was supposed to be up here already.

I reached down and scooped up a ball of snow and packed it down hard. I looked up at the dragon, who looked down at me with quasi-interested eyes at the ball of snow in my hands. I turned my attention over to Ruby and Maleek. I chucked the snowball over at Ruby, hitting her in the face. Both her and Maleek snapped awake. They flew up and both of their heads collided with each other as they did so.

"Oww.." Ruby said, rubbing her head.

"Crap!" Maleek said, grabbing his beaky nose. He growled at Ruby. "Hey! Watch what you're doing, Ruby!"

Ruby squinted through her tear-filled eyes. "You too! That really hurt."

Maleek growled at her. "You're not the one with the broken beak." He yelled at her.

I just sat back, smiling in entertainment. We had sat here too long in silence. What we really needed were these two doing what they did best: fight with each other.

The two of them started quieting down, both going back to licking their own wounds. I shook my head in disappointment. It was way too early for this fight to end. I had to do something to prolong it. I leaned back on my arms. "Hey…doesn't that cloud look like a crystal?"

Ruby looked up instantly, scanning the sky for something. "What? Where?" She asked as she frantically looked around.

Maleek scoffed. "You and your crystals… She was referring to a cloud…not an actual crystal… Idiot." He said, shaking his head in amusement. "Honestly, I think it's pretty stupid, your obsession with those rocks."

Bingo. Just what I wanted him to say. I smiled as Ruby's eyes went from the sky into Maleek's.

"What…" She started, her voice barely a whisper. "did you…" I could see her hands shaking with her barely contained fury. "just say?"

Maleek grinned. "I called you an idiot."

Ruby pushed him down. She pinned him to the snow and said, "Not that. Did you just call _my_ crystals…_stupid rocks_?"

Maleek nodded. "Yes, I did." He started pushing Ruby off. Ruby pushed right back, keeping him pinned. "Crystals are nothing more than rocks…they don't talk, they don't heal, they don't do anything! They're just shiny rocks!"

"That's not true!" Ruby shouted back. "They hold vibrations. Vibrations that the body can identify and resonate with. Those vibrations carry more voices within them than most people can understand and recognize. If you let me teach you how to listen with more than just your ears…you could hear them too." She said, pulling him out of the snow.

They sat near each other as Ruby reached into her bag and pulling out a cluster of amethyst. She held it out to Maleek and said, "Now…close your eyes and listen!"

Maleek crossed his arms and looked away. "No. I did not agree to this."

Ruby grabbed his hand and pried it open. "No…you will not insult my profession! Take it!" She yelled, placing the crystal in his hand.

Maleek shrugged and tossed it over his shoulder. "Make me."

I could hear her growl angrily. "I will." She stood up, unsheathing her crystal katana. "The best way is to get you to feel my sword's vibration."

Maleek looked shocked for a second and reached for his own weapon. As he started unsheathing his own blade, purple energy hissed off of Ruby's blade. The purple fire rolled off of Ruby's sword, falling on top of Maleek, consuming him in purple fire. The ground around him exploded into a bright purple light.

Maleek came flying through the back, his sword brought up defensively. "You'll have to try harder to get me to hear that blade!" He screamed at Ruby.

Ruby flashed forward, reappearing behind Maleek. "Then…I will." She disappeared, reappearing all around him as multiple images of herself. All of them started slashing with seven copies of the same sword. I watched in surprise and awe as all those swords sent wave after wave of purple fire slashes over to Maleek.

Maleek looked uninterested as he began spinning around, cutting through every slash like it was nothing. "Nice try, Ruby…but you can't beat me!"

Ruby materialized in front of Maleek, a smile growing on her face. "I already have." She grabbed Maleek by the back of his neck and pulled him close to her. She stepped in closer, wrapping an arm behind his waste, pulling him closer to her.

I stood there…in shock. It looked like Ruby was going to kiss him. I looked over at Maleek who looked just as shocked as I was. His posture had stiffened up and he looked like he did not know what to do next.

"Ruby…" He started. "Why are you standing this close to me?"

She smiled. "Oh…" She pulled him in closer, barely inches away from each other. "You know why…"

Cecilie was now pulling the hood up, glancing up at them. She looked vaguely uninterested in whatever was happening, but for some reason she was still watching. M'aiq and the dragon were watching as well, both very interested.

I heard Ruby as she started purring. "Like I said…" She pulled him close, now they were practically touching. "I…" I saw her tail flinch. "win."

In that second, she flashed. "WET DRAGON TALON!" Her finger flashed through her mouth and into Maleek's ear. Maleek cried out in horror, pushing Ruby away.

"I cannot believe you just did that!" He cried, grabbing his ear. "You're horrible, Ruby."

Ruby chuckled to herself. She reached in, grabbed Maleek by his armor plate and pulled him close. I could have sworn she was going to kiss him after all. Apparently, so did Maleek. He closed his eyes in fear of what she might do to him. Her face was not all smiley, though. She looked very pissed. "You ever piss me off like that again…and a kiss is the last thing you'll have to worry about." She pushed Maleek away. "You ever dis my 'rocks' again; I'll shove one so far up your butt you'll hear it talking in your throat."

Maleek landed on the ground. "Yes, ma'am." He squeaked out. Then, he shook his head clear. "No…no way." He stood up, coming toe-to-toe with her. "You think you can boss me around? You're not older than me; you're not even stronger than me." He pushed her back, which sent Ruby flying into the snow. She slid until she ran into a rock, which broke behind the force of how hard she hit. Maleek covered his arms triumphantly. "You ever try to touch me and I'll break your arms."

Ruby stood up, grabbing her head in pain. She growled and bent her knees. She was preparing to flash over to Maleek, who was also preparing to fight. I finally sighed. This had gone on long enough. I stood up and flashed up to both of them as they started charging into each other. I grabbed Ruby and Maleek by their punching arms and spun them around. I got them both on the snow, pinned underneath my knees. "Enough!" I yelled at both of them. I looked over at Maleek. "Maleek, you will not use your strength against Ruby like that again." I looked over at Ruby. "Ruby, he doesn't understand your point of view. Don't shove your beliefs down his throat." I pulled them both up and shoved them into each other. "Now…kiss and make up." I said and then grabbed my own head in frustration. "Without the kissing."

Ruby and Maleek looked over at me, both of their eyes looked at me to allow them to just blow this off and walk away. I shook my head and said, "No…you two are not moving from this spot until you two make up and be friends."

"WWWAAAATTTCCCCHHH…OOOOUUUUUUUTTT!"

I looked up, seeing a giant black dot in the sky. The dot grew bigger and bigger. I could finally see wings forming with the black dot. Suddenly, I could see that dot morph into a giant dragon…which was falling as fast as a falling star. I grabbed Maleek and Ruby, pulling them with me. "Move!" I shouted. They looked up just in time to see the dragon and pushed with me. The three of us flashed with just enough time to get some space before the ground behind us exploded into a giant cloud of snow and rocks.

I rolled through the snow, diving for as much cover as I could, while reaching for my sword as well. I rolled up on my knees, spinning myself around to see the dragon. There were two dragons. One was flying up in the sky, roaring loudly, breathing fire down onto the ground. The bigger dragon, all black and red, was climbing to his feet, taking the other dragon's fire like it was nothing. The dragon looked down, in its hand. There, clutched in his hand was Asger, all bloody and barely conscious.

I looked back at Ruby and Maleek. "Ok, you two. Kiss and make up later. Right now we need to save Asger." I brought my sword up and pointed it at the dragon. "You…dragon. Drop him now or feel the wrath of the Blades."

The dragon considered me for a second but then brought his claw up to his mouth. "You…mortal. You dare demand Alduin the World Eater to do such a request? Here's my reply." He shoved Asger down his throat and swallowed. "Come and get him back." Alduin said.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Darn you, Lydia. Every time you say that...a dragon tries to kill him. Oh wait.. that was Asger last time who told the dragon to leave Lydia alone, which only made the dragon want to kill her even more. When will they learn that asking a dragon to do something only encourages them more so? Oh...and someone wanted to know when the vampire character is coming into the story. I will tell you now... in Solitude. There, done. Actually, Windhelm. Yeah... I like that better. In Windhelm. Which is their next stop anyway._


	33. Ch 33: The One with Alduin getting owned

**Cearbhail:**_ Yay...new chapter. Ok, this pretty much took forever for me to write. It took a lot of action music, a lot of Fairy Tail theme songs, a very large bottle of pop, and a stack of pancakes..and a serbert lemon. Anway, let this one be known as "The one where Alduin gets socked in the stomach!"_

_Oh, and before anyone asks...yes, these are all valid Dragon words. If you doubt me, you can look them up. If you have trouble finding them, ask me and I will send you a link to find them._

* * *

_Tiny little aak (guide),_

_Many long sunrises have passed since I last talked to anyone who wasn't human. I missed my dov brothers. Even so, I, Paarthurnax, still cannot stand to see Alduin. I realize that I had a lot to do in the gruth (betrayal) and my dukaan (dishonor). I turned on my brother in the joore uprising, allowing them to do what they did with the kel (elder scroll)._

_Ever since that fateful day when the three Shouters teleported Alduin away, I've lived on this strunmah (mountain), waiting for Alduin to return. I still fight my sossedov (dragon blood), my instincts to al, du, ahrk evenaar (destroy, devour, and extinguish). I wish to do my part in Alduin's final downfall._

_I watched in nahlot morah (silenced concentration) as the siigonis kiir (lizard child) and the kaaz kiir (cat child) krif (fought). It was amusing to see them doing so, but it made it hard for me to fight my sossedov. I wanted to join them in the krif, if not only to nahlot their zaan (shouting)._

_…_

"Lydia…the dragon's doing something to your journal!" Ruby screamed to me as she readied her crystal katana. I could see that she was already out of breath. She should be after exerting so much energy fighting Maleek.

I looked over to the dragon, who was now looking down at my journal, making small movements with his mouth. At a closer look, I could see a quill in his mouth and he was…

Oh no…

Not again!

He was writing in my journal! That…bastard.

I almost allowed myself to throw down my sword and yell at him, but I was a little too busy for that at the moment. I drew my attention away from the dragon writing in my journal to the dragon swallowing my love interest, I mean boyfriend. I flashed forward, slashing at the dragon as hard as I could. I could feel the wind rolling off my blade as I did so, creating a vacuum slash that would cut anything that was within the vacuum's pull.

The sword made contact with the dragon. I pushed down as fast and hard as I could. Once my blade caught the dragon on the scale, it stopped. My entire attack exploded like a giant ball of invisible energy, throwing the snow below us out into the sky. I felt the bones in my hand shatter, my wrist snap, and my elbow pop. My sword cracked in half and I fell to the ground, my lifeless fingers letting the hilt of my broken sword fall through their grasp.

I landed on my knees, not even caring about the fight at that second. I hugged my arm close to me as I tried to calm it down. I didn't have much time for that though. I felt a giant scaly hand hit me across the face. I was launched off the ground and into a rock somewhere behind me. I felt my lungs burst from the impact. My entire body seemed broken from the impact. I wasn't sure if I was even breathing now.

I opened my eyes to look around but all I saw were stars obscuring my vision. My eyes drifted shut again; it was almost like my eyes were too heavy. I just couldn't keep them open. My thoughts started drifting between falling asleep and seeing myself lying broken underneath a rock.

"Hold on." I think I heard a muffled voice say.

Slowly I started feeling better. Feeling started returning to my hands and legs. I could feel air coming back into my lungs and I could feel my head clearing up. I opened my eyes to see Cecilie standing over me with golden glowing hands. "Hold on, mom. I'll have you healed up."

I glanced at the battlefield. Ruby was flashing around the black dragon, moving so fast that the dragon could barely track her. It didn't really matter, though. None of her attacks were even fazing it. The dragon just looked mildly annoyed at her attacks, like she was a gnat that he could swat away. Maleek was already on his back, bleeding into the snow. M'aiq was tending to his wounds. I looked over at Cecilie and said, "Ok, I'm up. Go help Maleek."

"AAAHH!" Ruby cried as she was suddenly swatted away from Alduin.

"And Ruby. Go help her too." _If she was still alive._ I couldn't help but think. She wasn't strong like Maleek or me. I don't know if her body could take a thrashing. Ruby landed behind me, smacking into the rock with a sickening sound. "Or…start with Ruby first. She might need it." I said to Cecilie, who only nodded.

"Here." Cecilie said. She stuck her hand out. "Summon: Ebony fire-enchanted greatsword!" For a second a giant purple vortex materialized in her hands, but then it cleared up. A giant ebony sword feel from the air and into her hands. She handed the weapon over to me and said, "This should at least keep him busy. It's enchanted so it won't break so easily."

I took the weapon from her and nodded. "Right. Ok, I'll do whatever I can." I stood up, feeling my knees crack underneath me as I did so. My blades armor tried shifting along with me, but it was so banged up and bent that it refused to maneuver with me. I reached up, grabbed onto my armor, and ripped it off my body. The metal plates fell to the snow, allowing me some movement. I could breathe now.

I pushed off the ground, flashing over to Alduin. As I came up to him, I jumped up to meet him face-to-face. As I approached his head, I slashed with my sword; happy that I caught him by surprise. My slash followed through this time, leaving a small knick in the scales underneath his left eye. I followed up with a kick that rocked his head back. Alduin grunted out a mild surprise as he staggered back.

I landed on my feet this time, bringing my sword up to protect me. Alduin seemed too surprised to react to me. I pushed forward, hoping that I could carve into his stomach and retrieve my boyfriend before anything else could happen. I launched off, flying right into Alduin's stomach. I pushed against him with both my elbows, not only lifting him off the ground, but launching him in the air. I took a second to look down at M'aiq and say, "Get Maleek and the others back! Get them healed as fast as you can so we can balance this fight."

I could hear Alduin laugh just above me. "Pathetic mortal. You cannot hurt me. I'm a god."

I slashed repetitively into his stomach. Each one earned a slight grunt and a new scratch among his scales. I don't know how I managed to keep us both airborne while slashing upwards at him, but I did. And somehow, I kept him from attacking me just the same. I finished up my flurries and smiled. "Oh yeah? I bet I couldn't do this much damage to a…"

I looked up to see a giant winged hand with three talon backhand me away. The instant later, I felt myself crash into the ground. I, well…pretty much felt immobilized. And without my armor protecting me, I was pretty banged up as well. I looked up to see Alduin looking down at me.

"_TOOR…"_

Ah man…I knew what was coming next.

_"IISS!"_

I don't know where it came from, but I heard it from somewhere. It sounded like Asger's voice too. I heard Alduin scream in horror and reached for his stomach. His wings skipped a beat and he drifted down toward the ground as he looked at his stomach. "Be a good joor and digest reasonably!" He said to his own stomach as he tried to regain his hover.

Alduin looked back up at me, his eyes even angrier than before. Alduin opened his mouth. "_TOOR…SHUL!"_

I saw the fire escaping his mouth and I tried to move my body, but I was still immobilized. I looked over to Cecilie and M'aiq, but they were busy healing Maleek and Ruby to notice me about to be cooked to death. I closed my eyes just so I didn't have to witness every minor second that I was about to die. When I felt the heat hit everywhere around me but on me…I decided to open my eyes.

There, standing not even inches away from me…was the brown dragon that had been watching us all day. He looked down at me with inquisitive eyes. He was taking the fire breath like it was nothing. After looking at me for a few seconds, I think he smiled. "Joor, I have read your aak (guide). You are full of zii (spirit) and are very mid (loyal) to your Dovahkiin. Because of this, I will be your spaan ahrk zahkrii (shield and sword)." He nodded to me. "I am Paarthurnax. Allow me to assist you in this fight."

He didn't wait for a reply. He pushed off the ground with frightening speed. He was suddenly in the air, flying right into Alduin with full impact. Alduin took the impact, screaming in surprise as he tumbled through the air. While Alduin was tumbling from us, Paarthurnax looked down at me. "_VOKRII_!"

A white ball of light blasted from his mouth and fell right on top of me. The ball of light exploded into a light mist that seemed to cover my body. Almost instantly, I could feel my body coming back to life. I was suddenly able to stand up. I was up so fast that I almost forgot to grab my sword in the process. I looked down at my hands to see the scratches closing on their own, my bones were snapping back into place (painlessly, I might add). I could feel my strength coming back into my body. Whatever Paarthurnax did, it was healing my body.

"Ok, I'm back up." Ruby called as she stepped next to me. She was clutching her side in pain and her one of her eyes was closed, while the other one was barely open. She fell to her knees, breathing deeply.

"Are you sure?" I asked as she decided to push herself back onto her feet.

Ruby nodded. "We need to finish this now. Alduin is going to destroy our world. If we just kill him here…there won't be anything else to worry about." She smiled as she glanced as her crystal katana. "I already risked my life once just to save a town that I barely even cared about." She glanced up at Alduin, both her eyes opening and focusing hard on him. "If I can sacrifice myself then…I can do it now."

Maleek stumbled up to us, coming up to my right side. "Hey…I'm not letting you show me up, Ruby." His voice was barely a whisper. He brought his Akaviri katana up and said, "If you're going to die, so am I."

"No one is going to die!" I said to both of them. Up above us, as we chatted, the two dragons rolled around in mid-flight, shooting fire at each other and whatever Shouts that they could muster.

Cecilie and M'aiq walked up to us, both of them exhausted but determined. M'aiq reached out for Ruby and said, "Ruby is not finished with her healing session."

The pile of rocks just behind them exploded as the two dragons flew into the ground, rolling in the dirt now. I watched in curiosity, wondering just how long we would continue to ignore the dragons fighting around us.

Cecilie shrugged at Maleek and said, "And that gash on your chest will break open if you open your limiter. Face it, Maleek…you shouldn't continue fighting. If you wish to beat Ruby…you should rest so that you can live long enough to do so…"

Maleek's mouth dropped. "And I thought I was cold-blooded." He crossed his arms and turned to look over at me. His face contorted into pain and he fell to his knees, grabbing his chest. He coughed up some blood and then nodded. "Fine…I'll stay out of the fight…if Ruby stays out as well."

Ruby looked back at Maleek, "No way, I'm missing…"

Ruby's eyes blanked out as M'aiq chopped her across the back of her neck. She fell into her arms and he gently lowered her to the ground. Cecilie and M'aiq carried them out of the way and returned to me, both nodding.

Cecilie smiled and crossed her arms. "So, what's the plan?" She asked as she looked over at the two dragons rolling in on the ground. "I don't want to hurt Paarthurnax, so we need to be careful."

"_JOOR ZAH FRUL_!"

I could hear Asger's voice from inside Alduin's stomach. Almost as if someone had flipped a switch, Alduin's arm crumpled underneath him and his face twisted in pain. He growled out in complaint as Paarthurnax tackled him into the side of the mountain. "_TOOR SHUL_!"

The fire enveloped his body and I could see that he was actually in pain for once. I nodded to Cecilie and said, "We should start now." I pushed off the ground, flashing over to Alduin, slashing with my ebony greatsword. I flew right up to his face, swinging down as fast as I could.

Alduin pulled his head away at the last second and my blade was contented with pulling part of his face off. I looked up at him to see a long gash in his face and I knew that I had some affect now. I landed on the ground, pushing off again, coming up to his wing. Alduin brought his hand up, blasting wind at me as I flew up to meet him. The wind blasted me back to the ground and he was now taking off to the skies, kicking Paarthurnax in his head as he did so.

I watched as M'aiq fell from the top of the mountain onto Alduin's back. His claws glowed with a bright fire and he started slashing at everything he could imagine. Alduin cried out more in surprise than in pain and started spinning in midair. M'aiq couldn't hold on and he was flung off the dragon's back. Now it was Cecilie's turn. She was covered in blue flames as pushed off the ground, her white eyes glowing bright blue. Two bound swords appeared in her hands. She slashed away at Alduin, not even close enough to fight him. White streaks of energy that reminded me of Ruby's crystal slash roared off her energy blades and onto Alduin.

"Meteor Strike!" Cecilie yelled as she raised her hands to the sky. I looked up to see a giant fireball forming above Alduin's head. Cecilie looked at me and said, "Mom! Get ready. Aim for the stomach, punch Dad out of there!"

Cecilie waved her hands down and the giant fireball fell on top of Alduin. He looked up just in time to see the fireball land on his back, pushing him down. The fireball exploded, knocking Alduin temporarily out of the sky.

I focused all my energy into my feet and into my right hand. I broke as many limiters as I could possibly imagine. I could feel the ground shake underneath me. I looked up at Alduin, who was almost suspended in time. I was so in my zone that everyone else had stopped moving. I bent my knees and prepared to jump. Once I did this, I had to connect; otherwise I would never get this chance twice.

I pushed off the ground, flying straight up at Alduin. Time had returned to normal now. He glanced down at me, "TOOR SHUL!" Fire flew out of his mouth, flying right at me. I brought my other hand up, protecting my face as I flew up to meet him in the sky. The sheer speed of my flight pushed the air aside like I was in a protective bubble of air. As I came up to the last foot, I launched my fist out. My fist was welcoming in his soft underbelly. I could feel his entire body shift from my blast.

Just like that, I heard Alduin spit-up. Blood and Asger came flying out of his mouth. Asger looked slightly confused but one look at me and he smiled. He glanced up at Alduin and shouted, "YOL TOOR SHUL!" I watched as a giant fireball materialized from his mouth, consuming Alduin's head in a bright fire.

Both of us started falling down now that we were done fighting. Alduin was still flying away from the impact of my fist and I think he was a little too stunned to fight anymore. Good, maybe we could kill him now and be done with it.

As I let my body relax, every muscle pulled against me. My arms turned numb, my legs became jelly, and my lungs felt like they were free from the burden of breathing. I looked at Asger, who was falling right beside me; his body no better off than mine. He smiled at me and said, "Well…nice to see you. Thought you'd come help."

I smiled back. "Yeah…you know me. I am your shield and your sword, my thane."

He sighed as he looked up (which was down in our case). "We still have a way to fall. Man…who'd guess that you could jump this high?"

"Is there any way to slow our fall?" I asked him as I struggled to look up. The wind blew razors into my face as I tried to do so.

I think Asger shrugged. "No…well…hmm…" He said, reaching up to scratch his chin. "There is this Shout…Ethereal. I know the first word of it, but I never used it before."

I looked up, still unable to see any sight of ground. "Ok…but what does it do?"

"Turns us into ghosts that can't hurt or be hurt, basically." He smiled.

"That sounds great, Asger. Do it." I said.

"Do what?" He asked, arching his eyebrow.

"The Shout…Ethereal. Turn us into ghosts."

"I can't do that." He protested, crossing his arms.

"Well…" I started, shaking my head. "Why not?"

"I don't have a dragon soul to unlock it." He started.

"Then why did you bring it up?" I shouted at him.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Guess I'm just bored." He looked up again. "Besides, this is one of those moments where Captain Hindsight would fly in and point it out that I should have unlocked that Shout instead of Throw Voice…and then fly away without doing anything to actually help."

"Captain Hindsight, who's he?" I asked.

"Oh, someone I saw in the Elder Scroll. He's some Shoutman from the future. He's the brother of Captain Obvious, who also does nothing but point out trivial facts." Asger said, chuckling a little.

I sighed as I grabbed my head in frustration. I could not believe that I missed having Asger around. "So…" I started, looking him in the eye. "How are we going to get out of this?"

He smiled. "Hold your breath, now." He motioned up.

I looked up, seeing us falling right into a deep lake. I hurried as I closed my eyes and grabbed my nose. Crap, crap, crap. I sure hope this was no shallow lake.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Yes, and now...well, you'll see._


	34. Ch 34: I wouldn't drink that

**Cearbhail:**_ So, yes...it's been almost ten days. That's a new record for this story. I was busy enjoying my birthday and this job interview that didn't happen. So, anyway, I'm back and to celebrate I've outdone myself for this chapter by playing two random games. I asked, give me something random from my two friends. One said 'pigs' the other 'wine'. Let's see if you can figure it out before you reach it. Ready? Go!_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Do you know the scariest thing about falling from the top of the sky? It's the landing. You just know that no matter what you hit…it will be painful. You could land on air and it would still shatter your bones. The whole myth of jumping from high distances and landing in water with no damage is crap. It's like slamming into the ground. Surprisingly, as I'm sure everyone knows…we survived. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to write in you. I'm sure I could tell you exactly what happened and you'd be amazed but…sometimes a story should not be told. What happened is between me, Asger, a horker, a very flamboyant pirate ship captain who tries to hide his girly side from his crew, his loyal crew of overly butch pirates(who know their captain doesn't swing a straight sword), a very knowledgeable blacksmith, Paarthurnax, and a stronghold full of Orcs. Oh…and one carriage full of new-age necromancers who believe that zombies will one day take over our world._

_Well, anyway, we eventually got back. Yeah, in a week's time. The rest of our gang was in Ivarstead with the Stormcloak army, waiting for us. Paarthurnax sent some sort of message to Cecilie about our arrival. So, when we arrived, it was to the entire group of Stormcloaks holding up mugs of beer, cheering for us as we arrived in carriage. We were instantly brought into a giant hug by Ruby, who was wrapped up in so much cloth that I thought she was a draugr. My daughter had her arm wrapped in a sling and her eyes were covered with some white cloth. Now she fit the look of a seer. Something about being exposed to some magic back-fire that damaged her eyes, leaving a case of eye sunburn. She had them wrapped up to protect them from the light since they were now very sensitive to anything._

_Well, anyway, Ralof briefed Asger on what was going on and he actually agreed to come with them to Windhelm to talk to Ulfric. I figured he would. It seems to go deeper than just going to meet the leader of the rebellion just for shits and giggles. Asger appears to know Ralof and Ulfric very well because of some giant riot that involved everyone. Ralof and Ulfric actually helped him escape the prison and then made their way to Riverwood…he wouldn't give me any details past that. Anyway, I guess it's not my place to ask. Even if I am Asger's girlfriend, I am still his housecarl._

_So, as it is, we're on our way to Windhelm right now. We're traveling by horse-drawn carriages. There are so many of them that we look like a convoy across the small dirt path. At least traveling like this will allow our banged up fighters to rest. Ruby is sleeping soundly, Cecilie is sitting next to me, sleeping as well. Maleek hasn't talked since I saw him. He keeps grabbing his chest in pain. I guess something bad happened. M'aiq is talking to Asger and attempting to make me angry at him. Same old, same old._

_Lydia…_

…

"M'aiq believes that the Nord woman loves the Dragonborn." M'aiq said, looking over at Asger with a growing smile.

I only rolled my eyes and shut my journal. If my body was not essentially covered in a giant body cast of wrappings and protecting casting to keep my fragile bones in place while I healed. The landing I took in the lake left both Asger and I pretty banged up, especially since we landed on a thin layer of ice. Yes…I know normal people would die, but we're far from normal so don't jump to your own conclusions on that fact. M'aiq knew that I could not fight him because of my condition, so I had to do this by other means. I looked at him and said, "M'aiq…we're past this. I'm his _girlfriend_! I think he knows damn well that I love him."

M'aiq smiled through his teeth. He glanced over at Asger and then over to me. He directed his mischievous smile back at me and leaned forward. "Did Asger give you his present yet?"

My mind blanked out for a second, making me think about what he was talking about. What present was M'aiq referring to? I don't recall any present. I looked over at Asger, who was sitting silently next to M'aiq. He glanced up at me, smiling.

"Well, Lydia…" Asger started with a growing smile. "I was in Riften…talking to some priests." He started reaching into his pocket, messing around with something. "And…I had this made." He pulled his hand out, closed. He had something small cupped in his hand, I just knew it. He nodded at my hand and said, "Give me your right hand, please."

I reluctantly and slowly slid my right hand out. "Ok?" I said, arching an eyebrow. What the heck was in Riften that was so special? Was this some sort of thieving thing? Was he going to take my finger off or something?

He opened his palm and revealed a small golden ring. He smiled as he slid the ring over my ring finger. "Ok…Lydia…" He said, holding my hand softly in his. "Will you marry me?"

I tried to hold my excitement in as much as I could. I had a personality that said that I was strong as stone. I could not allow myself to express any sort of strong emotion. I just had to nod and graciously accept this gift and opportunity to be wed to him. "OH MY GODS! YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" My voice squealed out like a teenager girl being asked to the big fancy formal by the captain of the sword-fighting team. It was closely followed by a high-pitched scream that woke everyone up inside the carriage.

Ruby flew out of her seat, grabbing her ears. "What?" She looked around frantically around the cabin. "What's going on? Are we being attacked by bandits?"

"No." Asger said. "Not bandits."

Ruby was about to ask something else, bringing us to another round of 'how many random questions of encounters can we name'. "Well, is it a mammoth-riding…" Our carriage came to a full stop, throwing Ruby and everyone else in the back forward. Ruby crashed into Maleek's chest, who screamed out in pain. Ruby looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Sorry?" She looked over at Asger and said, "monks?"

Maleek only nodded. "Sure, just try not to crash on top of me like that." He said, pushing her away. Now that he was awake, he was glancing over to Asger. "You better watch your back, Dragonborn. I will kill you someday."

Asger only smiled and looked over at Ruby. "No, not mammoth-riding monks." He looked over at Maleek and shook his head in amusement. "I'm glad to see that you're still going on about that."

Ruby growled at Maleek as she reached for her crystal katana. "You even touch him and I'll cut that hole in your chest deeper."

Maleek looked over at her, his face now challenging. "What? Are you challenging me to a fight?" He tried to stand up, but ended up grabbing his chest in pain as he sat back down.

Ruby's eyes grew concerned again. "Stay down! You'll end up dead if you keep pushing yourself before healing properly." She reached for her backpack and said, "If you just let me use my crystal healing, you'd probably be better by now."

He scoffed. "If I did that, you'd never let me live it down! Ooh, the non-believer is healed by the rock. No, I'd rather suffer the old-fashioned way. Priests and Restoration magic."

Asger chuckled. "Actually, the old –fashioned way involved raw steak and old plants that were mushed into a paste."

Suddenly, the door to our carriage opened up, Ralof holding a sword in a protective manner. He looked over at us, his eyes wide with fear. He finally settled his eyes at me and said, "What was the scream for? Is anyone hurt?"

I shook my head, already forgetting about the marriage proposal and my very girly scream. My face blushed over at having all the attention brought back onto me. Everyone was looking at me and I shook my head. "No…Asger proposed and I said yes."

Cecilie moved her head, looking over at me. "And you said it loud enough to deafen me." She leaned her head back against the wall and stopped moving. I couldn't tell if she was settling back down to go to sleep or just relaxing. I couldn't tell because her eyes were still covered with the small cloth of black fabric. You'd think that she'd be more excited to hear that Asger proposed to me, since that's all she wants from us is to be married before giving birth to her. Just that alone sent chills down my back. Was something going to happen to ruin this moment?

Ralof nodded his condolences to both of us. "Ok…that's good to hear. I thought something bad happened back here."

Asger only smiled before saying, "What took you so long to come back here and check up on us?"

Ralof only shrugged. "We were attacked by bandits, mammoth-riding monks, a dragon, and some really annoying jester who was traveling with some coffin."

Asger only chuckled before shaking his head. "What? No, you didn't. We would have heard it."

Ralof arched his eyebrows before stepping out, allowing us to see the dead bodies behind him. There, with giant poles sticking in the sides of them, were mammoths. He nodded to us. "Took four of us to kill that thing, and that was only after we killed the monk that rode on top of him."

"Sir!" A female Stormcloak that I believed to be either Rostei or Mette ran up to our carriage, stopping in front of Ralof. "Sir…" She bent down to take a breath. "Sorry, sir, but we have Falmer lining up to fight us."

Ralof smiled and looked at the woman. "Are you sure, Hreiri?" Ok, I was wrong, it was neither of them. He looked up the hilltop, outside of our view, brought his hand up to protect his eyes from the glaring sun, and started nodding. An arrow whizzed past his head, landing behind him. He looked around, his eyes becoming alarmed and alert. He looked at us and nodded. "Ok…stay in here. We'll…" I heard a large explosion in front of us.

"Sir! That was our skooma contraband! They hit it with a fire spell!..." I heard Hreiri scream as she pulled out her bow and started shooting at the enemy. "Oh my gods…they're melting alive. Quick, put them out of their misery!" Hreiri said as she started firing away, still at something that I could not properly see.

Ralof looked over at us and said, "We'll handle this, just stay in here. You're all too bruised to be of any help anyway." He closed the door behind him and all I could hear was people shouting, swords clashing, arrows hitting the carriage, and people cursing out as they gurgled to death.

"Oh my gods…they have insects!" Someone screamed. "They're impenetrable! OH GODS…oh gods…they're…they're…EATING MY LEGS. OH PLEASE SOMEONE…" Then the voice died out, leaving all of us still in here, sitting quietly…waiting.

I struggled to sit up, my nearly broken arm slipping out of its sling. I looked over at Asger, who looked no better off than I did. True, he wasn't nearly as banged up as I was, but he still couldn't hold a sword any more than he could Shout something useful. Two collapsed lungs from plunging into ice water will do that to you. I looked at Ruby, whose tail was flicking frantically as she looked at every inch of the cabin, waiting for something to come in. Cecilie was still just sitting back, sighing. She finally rose from her seat.

Cecilie smiled at me and said, "I'll be right back." She kicked the door open, which knocked over a Falmer standing over a fallen Stormcloak, preparing to stab him with a sword. Cecilie nudged with her hand and the door suddenly just snapped shut.

I heard several explosions that shook the inside of our cart. "Holy Oblivion! What did she just do?" I heard Hreiri shout near our door.

"I don't know…but their guts are everywhere." I heard Ralof return. "Look at that, even the Falmer are so scared that they're running away."

I sighed as I saw Cecilie open the door and walk back inside. Her battlemage armor was covered in purple slime and she was picking a Falmer ear out of her ear. She nodded to me and said, "Ok, we can relax now." She looked over at Ralof and screamed, "Hey! How about we get moving now? Who knows what else will happen if we sit in this obvious random encounter spot?"

Ralof only nodded. "Right." He looked at Hreiri and said, "Let's bury our dead fast and get moving again. I don't want to stay here for too long unless we encounter another dragon and kill the remainder of our forces."

…

An hour passed before all the dead were buried. I could see just how devastated the battleground really was. Stormcloaks and bandits littered the floor. Some of them were chewed all the way up to their waists; some of them were melted from skooma explosion as well as the insects with poisonous acid spit. I saw that some bandits as well as a couple Stormcloaks were crushed when a mammoth fell over. The entire convoy was as good as destroyed. Only a few horses remained and only a handful of Stormcloaks as well. Most of the carriages were caught on fire when the skooma exploded. Oh yeah, when the skooma exploded, so did the crates of…wine, ale, beer, liquor, and mead. We had no more alcoholic drinks left. Which I thought it was pretty convenient that a traveling liquor seller was just happening to pass by right as we started our funeral.

The funeral pretty much stopped when the liquor provider started to pass us. It was a Bosmer, a hunter too. I could tell by the deer skin vest he wore, as well as the top knot and goatee that he sported. He was riding in a cattle-drawn carriage with a larger cart attached at the end. The cart was filled with a giant pan and bottles of wine. His cart stopped and he lifted his hat up to us.

"Good evening, folks." He looked around at the disaster that had fallen around us. "See you got yourselves in a bit of a tangle here. I guess none of you would be interested in buying some of my home brew?"

Ralof stepped in front of us and crossed his arms. "Home brew? What…are you a traveling merchant?"

The Bosmer smiled and lifted his straw hat. "Why, yes I am. Name's Berner, I'm a traveling wine seller." He laughed at his turn of phrase. "Not to mistaken with a wine cellar." He jumped off his cart and walked over to the bottles of wine in the back. "This wine here is made in my farm. Fresh, made from berries, and tastes like it was pulled straight at the source. I have a very moderate method of both acidifying my wine and mixing it together. The two processes allow it to ferment easier and quicker, as well as more potent." He grabbed a bottle and walked up to me. "Why…I bet this lovely lady would love to try a sample. Free of charge."

I could see Cecilie starting to walk up to me, but she stopped and smiled. She leaned back against the carriage and nodded. Well, if she thought it was ok, it had to be. I uncorked the top and took a sniff. I could smell the sweet but tangy smell of the mixed berries. There was something else familiar inside the smell as well, but I couldn't make it out. It was something that I recognized but could not place at the tip of my tongue. So, I looked around and shrugged. "Smells fine."

"Yes, smells fine, but tastes better." Berner said. He started passing more bottles out. "First ones are on me. If you don't like them, then you won't worry about rioting for your money back." He said as he passed his bottles out to everyone.

Ralof eyed the wine and then looked up at the elf. "So…you've encountered that problem before?"

Berner nodded. "Oh, yes…when I was first starting out. It took me years to get this formula correct." He stepped closer and lifted my hand up to my lips. "Please, drink."

I shrugged as I brought the wine to my lips and…

…

Took my first sip. I allowed the cold wine to loll around my tongue before I swallowed it. Then the taste hit me. My thickness of the wine hit me with the combination of sweet and overly bitter. My face scrunched up for a second but then the aftertaste hit me. It was a calm meaty taste, one that I did not expect. It was like I was eating a steak with my wine. It actually tasted good. The combination of flavors meshed in my mouth, leaving me satisfied.

Everyone looked up at me, waiting for my judgment. I nodded in appreciation. "It's good. It's…different, but good."

Just like that, everyone cautiously tasted their wine as well. Their faces went from cautious, to the same scrunched up face with flickering tearful eyes to the wide-eyed enjoyment of the surprise of meaty goodness. Everyone laughed as they started chinking bottles together, preparing to drink the rest of their free bottles. We all laughed as we sat there, drinking with our new wine provider. But, as we all know, eventually every party needs to come to an end, and this is how it happened.

"So, how did you make this?" Ralof asked as he finished off his free bottle.

Berner smiled as he grabbed a bottle. "Through a variety of experiments. First, I started with juniper and snowberries. It took a couple months but it formed my basic brew. The problem was that the wine produced was overly too sweet and bitter, as well as not potent at all. So, for years I tried new combinations until…one day my pigs got into my stores of juniper and snowberries. My pig ate every single one of them. Well…" Berner said, taking his hat off. "I was upset with Betsy, so…" He made a chop in the air with his hand. "I killed him and served him for dinner. Well…I like to store my pig livers for a while in a cold locker where I can eat them later."

Ralof and the others all stopped sipping their wine. Ralof's face was turning white. "What exactly are you telling us?"

Berner shrugged. "When I bit into that liver, just a week later, I was overcome with the taste…of this very thick brew of juniper and snowberries. It was very strong. And not to mention that it passed through the stomach, so it was acidified as well. Somehow, by leaving it alone to stew, the brew was able to fuse with the acids and fermented quickly, creating its own alcoholic content. The liver itself was a hosting ground of other flavors as well. It gave the liquid a sort of dulled down meaty flavor that I found quite refreshing." He shrugged. "So, I started a pig farm, where they eat nothing but various berries. They are sectioned off by berry types and combinations. When it comes time for the pig to die, I overdose them on their selected berries and give them enough time to fully digest the berries before I process them and remove their livers. Then…I do the process I mentioned earlier and allow them to chill for a week or so."

Ralof looked down at his bottle in questioning silence. He finally tilted his head to the side before looking up at Berner. "So…we're drinking…"

Berner smiled. "Concentrated pig urine."

Everyone around me started retching; vomiting up everything that they had just drank. I found myself feeling queasy so I leaned down and found myself vomiting as well. Dark red juices flowed up from me, splashing onto the ground in front of me.

Cecilie actually chuckled as she walked up. She bent down to me and whispered, "Believe it or not, his reputation becomes very well-known. His new wines will make a strong impact on our world. His wine will become famous soon enough."

I spat the remainder of pig urine out of my mouth and said, "That's just wrong, Cecilie. No one should ever have to drink this."

She shrugged. "It's not urine until it comes out the body. Until then it's still just juice."

Berner smiled at everyone else. "Yes, that's everyone's first reaction. So, will I be taking more orders? I still have fifty bottles."

Ralof's flushed face turned red as he marched up to Berner. He grabbed him by his collar and said, "Do you honestly think that we would buy wine that was made in the liver of a pig?"

Berner shrugged. "You are Nords…right?"

…

We bought all of it.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: So, how many people saw that coming? How many people can't even get up off the floor to continue reading? What did this chapter have? Sterotypical character relations, unseen graphic violence, exploding things, Cecilie being awesome, Lydia being useless for a change, and pig urine wine. If I didn't know so, I think that I've recovered from any illness keeping me from being random and non-creative. I cannot wait to see your words of what I did wrong or honestly what you really thought about this._


	35. Ch 35: Honey nut taste

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, a new chapter. Played that game with mi amigos again. Got fur and massive nose oysters. Ok... figure it out. Also, minor note. I would put this at the bottom but I think that people will read it up here faster. Ok...for the vampire character. I was planning on doing Babette (the girl from the Dark Brotherhood). Since most of my characters are outragous and stuff I figured she would fit perfectly, but using a main character like her could be problematic as well so I'll leave it to you. If you like the idea of Babette joining the team, let me know. But if you feel that someone else could fill the vampire slot better, let me know instead. There, that simple._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_This is not Lydia writing, this is Cecilie. Mother is a little…busy at the moment so I've taken the liberty of writing this entry since I've…well, I guess it has to be found out eventually. I decided to write this chapter because this is how I will learn about the past. I am a great seer, but when it comes to seeing the past of my parents, this is the only guide I have to go on. Reading it when I was ten made me realize that I was in the past and messing around (as much as the Psijic monks told me it was wrong). So, everything that has come from my extensive knowledge has led me to this point in time where everything must go according to my original plan. If I am right, then the following entries will be correct. If I am wrong, I guess it won't really matter._

_Right, so what I need to write. Mother drank some pig urine wine a day ago. I allowed my father to eat a dragon soul so that he could unlock Ethereal. I think it had something to do with their little adventure that they had on a pirate ship. Ethereal would have been very useful during that period. Heck, if Dad had that Shout, they would have escaped without getting the ship captain involved in a plot involving a Prince looking for a special crystal and a traveling tribe of Orcs that had left their stronghold to hunt. If neither of those things had happened then there wouldn't have been a river full of goat blood, a family out for a picnic seeing the river (their children screaming and running away) and finally would not have disturbed a whole mountain full of draugr that slowly began attacking the surrounding settlements (resulting in a coordinated dance craze and plenty of necromancers changing their viewpoints to that of undead ruling Tamriel and not them controlling the undead). It was a hectic few days for Mother and Father to clean it all up with the help of Paarthurnax._

_Anyway, that's all just filler information to make me wonder what really happened so I will begin looking back on the past and just seeing how much fun my parents had before they gave birth to me. "Sigh" … I think having me and my brother made them boring. Anyway, we're still on our way to Windhelm. We're in the company of Stormcloak soldiers who have taken us partially hostage, partially prisoners of war, partially guests of honor. We're being transported to Jarl Ulfric, who will have a very surprising argument against helping the Empire, but at the same time my father will do his thing and then things will get pretty hectic for a while. The next week will be very important and I hope it will prove to be as funny as it has so far, but if it becomes serious I'll just do something to make it funny. I live in a dark time, I need all the laughs I can get._

_Princess Cecilie._

...

"Ruby, put the honey nut treat down!" I said, reaching for Ruby's arm. The stubborn preteen Khajiit protested as she pulled my hand away.

"No!" She screamed as she stuffed the treat into her mouth. She pulled the stick out, already stuffing her face with the honey covered nutty treats.

Maleek chuckled as he stepped between me and Ruby. "No, no…I want to see this." He said, all smiles.

Ruby crossed her arms, swallowing the treat. Oh crap. Did she already forget? Oh…I guess I'm a little ahead of myself. Well, you see…

"And…there it goes." Maleek said as Ruby's face started expanding. Ruby's eyes squinted as she fell forward, wheezing. She started coughing and then started sneezing. Maleek grabbed his freshly wrapped chest as he started laughing. He fell to the ground, groaning while laughing. "It hurts me so much, but I can't help it. This is too good to pass up."

"Ruby!" I said as I rushed over to her. "How many times are you going to do this? Face it…you're allergic to nuts…or honey, or both."

Ruby started looking up at me, her face like a giant balloon with a giant river of flowing mucus dripping out of her nose. "I fon't fare! I wike honah." She attempted to speak through her swollen mouth.

I shook my head and face-palmed. "I don't care if you love honey, you can't continue to eat something that can potentially kill you, even if you do eat it in a controlled substance abuse. That's like taking skooma, which will eventually kill you after putting you in a lucid state of pure bliss."

Ruby crossed her puffy hands and looked away, her eyes straining to stay open. "Kfaahiits awweady dwink skoofa. Dah…" She said as she attempted to stick out her tongue.

I crossed my arms and looked over at Asger. "Honey…please convince her that what she is doing is wrong."

He smiled as he reached into his back and pulled out his flute. The realization of what was going to happen was falling down upon me. I groaned out and nodded. "Fine…just keep it down to one paragraph short."

He looked suddenly sullen. "I wanted to go for a whole page, though!" He started and then looked over at Ruby. He started playing his flute in a dramatic way. He suddenly stopped. "Ruby, there are some things that need to be avoided: mimes, jesters, mother-in-laws, and nuts covered in honey." He stuck his hand out and said, "The best things in our short lives are those that cause us the most harm. Like hunting dragons and you hunting deer. Every time you hunt a deer for food, you ruined your current dress. You then had to create a new one, which for you might have been fun, but it was more work than you needed. Now…you need to take care of yourself now too. This condition of yours lasts for hours and for those few hours, you're completely incapable of fighting. What if we were attacked by bandits right now?"

"Fwe fwouwd ki hem." Ruby attempted to say as she pointed to the Stormcloaks. "Hey are goog fighers. Hlet hem do it."

Asger smiled as he stretched down and took Ruby by her hand. He lifted her up, which her immediate response was sneezing. I swear I've never seen a Shout that could produce such a wide area effect. Her projectile nose spray hit everything. Asger took the impact with great humility, only smiling thickly, turning around, and looking back at me. "Oh, Lydia…" He said, singsong. "My housecarl…please deal with the clean-up here. I'll be in the river disinfecting my face." He said as he started walking away, brushing off snot as he did so.

I looked at Ruby and said, "There, see? You just incapacitated our Dragonborn. You are a horrible Blade. Now…stop eating honey hut treats."

Ruby growled as she stood up and spread her legs apart in a dramatic stance. Oh no…I knew where this was going.

"Hohey nut treats gif me enerhy and new wife. Why woud I forsfake fat whih the eight difines haf gifen me? If it were not for fis new treat, I woud not have wearned that I wa awergic to honah. The smah coatin of the dewicious stickah goodness fat engross mah sensitife tongue wif pure sensua bwiss that can be compared to that of vaniwa ass cream with hot shocowate sywup. The cobinasion of such a cawm smoof cowd feewing of the vaniwa ass cream combined with the hot stickah sweetness of shocolate syrup…is like the honey nut treat." I could see that Ruby's face was already coming back to normal and her voice was coming back. "The sweet sticky sensation of honey mixed with the solid nutty flavor of the nut makes me squeal with enjoyment." Ruby looked up at me and jabbed a stubby finger at me. "So, no! I will not stop eating my nutty treat. Not for you or anyone else."

I raised my hands in defense and sighed. "I only caught the last part of that, but ok…you win." I patted her on the head and said, "You should see your face, though. You look like a horker."

Ruby crossed her arms and looked away. "Whatefer." I could see her version of a blush, which was a vertical tail whip as she turned away. "How…far…are…we…from…Wind…helm?" She carefully formed the words, giving emphasis to all the points she kept missing the whole time her mouth and tongue were swollen up.

Ralof, who was hiding behind a tree covered in blobs of snot, peeked his head out to talk to her. "Well, we stopped to enjoy a small break, but we're only an hour away."

Ruby nodded as she walked back into the carriage and sat down. "Ok, let's go before I start my second and third phase of my allergies."

I looked around the campsite, looking for Asger. I sighed as I looked around at the condition of the campsite. The area was destroyed with every honey nut that Ruby ate. We've been here a few hours and each time, her condition grew slightly better and shorter. The first time, she vomited and passed out for a minute. Then…she ate another one, vomiting again but instead of passing out just lying on her stomach, groaning and moaning in painful realization of her mistakes. And now…she had a runny nose and inflated face. I wondered what would happen next.

I looked at Ralof as he started loading everyone up. I grabbed him by the arm and said, "No, we are not leaving until we clean up this area. We trashed it; we have to clean it up."

Ralof looked around the campsite, his face contorting in disgust as he inspected the area. "Uh…do we have to? This is all natural…I'm sure it will clean itself with a good rainfall."

I laughed at the idea. "Rainfall? This far north?" Why did everyone forget we were trapped up a frozen tundra land?

Ralof spread his hands. "It could happen." He smiled as he walked away. "In fact, I know someone who can make it happen." He rapped on the door, yelling, "Ruby, Cecilie. One of you two…make it rain."

Ruby stepped out of the carriage, rubbing her red inflated eyes. "Fine…I'll do it." She reached into her bag and started reaching for something. She started sniffling her nose and as her whiskers started twitching, I grabbed Ralof and threw him in front of me. Ruby sneezed, as if on cue, and sprayed my human shield instead of me.

Ralof began choking on some invisible force, his face turning sour. "My mouth was open…" He screeched before he took off, racing for the river to join Asger in washing everything imaginable.

Ruby hadn't seemed to notice. "Turquoise…rain dance." She handed one to me, and one to Cecilie, who had stepped outside to see Ralof running off to the stream. Cecilie smiled and laughed as she took the crystal from Ruby.

She pulled Ruby in for a hug. "Ruby…don't ever change. You bring me so much joy it's not even funny…oh wait…it is."

Ruby barely even noticed Cecilie's compliment, instead rubbing her nose and flicking away a giant stream of mucus. She wiped her hands off and said, "Ok…to do rain dance, we need to place the turquoise in a circle and pretty much belly dance around them." She chuckled before she said, "I'm sure the guys will enjoy the show at least."

…

Ten minutes later, it started raining, Asger returned from the river, and we loaded up to leave. We were finally back on track to reach Windhelm. Maleek was peacefully arguing with Ruby, who was finally stable enough to argue back and poke him in the chest with her claw, drawing a surprising squeal of pain from him. Cecilie was happily sitting in front of me, 'looking' out the window of the carriage, humming something. Me, I was trying not to breathe in all the loose patches of fur flying around the cabin.

Oh…yeah. I guess it's part of Ruby's allergy. She has a horrible fur shedding thing and now, as she moved, more fur flew off her body and into the air, where it lingered until it covered everything. I could only sigh as Maleek coughed up a furball and threw it in Ruby's face, blaming her for his inconvenience of having her fur in his mouth. Ruby plucked the furball off of her face and shoved it down Maleek's chest wound.

…

That started a giant furball fight between the two of them. Well, until Cecilie joined them, laughing as she started throwing giant balls of wet sticky fur around the cabin. I kept myself out of the fight while M'aiq and Asger arm-wrestled the whole way there.

"Thumb war?" M'aiq asked, sticking out his thumb to Asger.

Asger nodded. "You're going down, M'aiq." He said as he took M'aiq's thumb.

M'aiq smiled. "Oh no, this is where you are mistaken, Dragonborn. M'aiq is master thumb-wrestler…best in Elsweyr. You cannot hope to…"

"ONE, TWO, THREE…PIN!" Asger shouted as he pinned M'aiq's thumb down.

M'aiq looked sullen for a second before sticking out both his thumbs. "Two out of two. Let's see if you can split your thinking pattern for two wars at once."

Cecilie smiled as she looked over at M'aiq. "You have to teach me how to do that sometime, M'aiq." She managed to say right before a giant clump of fur hit her in the back of the head, making her spin around and receive another wad to the face.

M'aiq smiled back at her. "Sure thing, little Dragonborn. M'aiq knows why you ask, so he will comply." He said right before he hacked up a giant furball and began aiming at Maleek. Then…he did something I did not expect…ok, I expected it. He threw it at me.

I had just enough time to shut my mouth and grab Asger before the giant clump of fur smacked me on the forehead. I groaned as I pulled the wad of fur off of me, wiping the saliva off my face. I groaned and said, "M'aiq…do you remember the day you took my journal?"

He smiled. "Why, yes…but why do you ask?"

I smiled as I reached over and tackled him. He laughed as we rolled across the small floor, everyone stopping their war to watch us fight. I took that wad of fur and said, "This came from your mouth so I feel it's best if I return it there."

…

I will not disclose what happened for the next few minutes. It was messy, violent, and disgusting. It ended with Ralof opening the door, saying, "Now come. We're at Windhelm and I'm sure Jarl Ulfric will be pleased to see you."

We were quietly sitting in our seats, covered in snot, wet fur, saliva, some vomit, and pig urine wine. When Ralof saw the expressions on our faces, he only sighed and said, "Fine…you may bathe first. There is no way I'd ever let you meet the Jarl of Windhelm in your current conditions."

I smiled as I flicked my fingers off. I was covered in some of the foulest stuff from M'aiq's stomach, but it was worth it to get even with him for once.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha! Man, that was a disgusting chapter. Might be too disgusting for the weaker stomachs but still good enough to get some humor from. Ok, so I'll let you guys stew on the vampire issue since the vampire is supposed to arrive next chapter. So...I'll leave you guys for a couple days and if I don't hear a word I will just use Babette for a while._


	36. Ch 36: Hit girl

**Cearbhail:**_ So, new chapter. I'm sure by the name of the chapter, you understand what's going on. Ok, played that new downloadable content. Man...that was a very long mission, the one with the snow elf. No spoilers over that but... soon, you will see some of that campaign either leaking into this story or a sequel. We'll see. Well, enjoy. _

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Finally! We're at Windhelm. No more random encounters, no more Falmer. No more dragons, trolls, bandits, thieves, Orcs, or necromancers. Well, once we got to the town, we were welcomed by a couple thugs giving us Nords a bad name. They were harassing a Dunmer and giving very loud death-threats to her…right in the middle of rush hour. And no one even stopped to defend her. Then they started beating on her so Asger got involved and now…we're in jail. Again. Well, not all of us are in jail. Ruby, and M'aiq were not allowed to enter this great city so they're waiting for us outside. Maleek, at hearing that he could enter but Ruby could not, waited out with her until we could get some clearance for her and M'aiq. They seem to be getting closer, at least enough to where they don't try to kill each other anymore. Wish I could say the same between Maleek and Asger._

_Speaking of which, Maleek tried to kill Asger a few minutes before entering the city. He shot an arrow off, tripped on some loose ice, and the arrow flew off, hitting a troll in the back. Well, we were attacked by a group of trolls, just enough to wear down our Stormcloak escort to only four people. Ralof was not happy with Maleek. When Maleek stayed out of the city, I think Ralof was going to die happy. He's so weird._

_Anyway, I'm glad that we're done with everything for right now. I really want a rest from all this. Too bad Jarl Ulfric is already on his way down here to change all that._

_Lydia…_

…

I closed my journal and looked over at Cecilie, who was lying down on a pile of hay. The room was cold and dark. Water dripped on occasion in the cell next to us. It was a calming thing, but…it gets annoying after a while. You just want that dripping water to shut up…but you can't do anything about it.

_Drip…drip…drip…._

I sighed as I grabbed a pillow and put it over my ears, trying to drown out the sound.

Asger sat quietly in the corner, unhappy that we were all in rags. He looked over at me. "Gee…in these raggy clothes again…" He said looking over at me and Cecilie. "Couldn't they have at least let us keep our clothes?"

I shrugged, looking down at the ugly brown sacks that the guards made us wear. It was supposed to be our 'prison uniforms'. I looked back up at Asger. "I guess they want us to be boring and complacent?"

Cecilie only chuckled before she sat up. "It's not like we're staying in here forever. Have your forgotten that Ralof was getting Ulfric while we were being dragged away?"

"That's _Jarl Stormcloak_ to you." A deep and powerful voice gently said from the corridor. I saw a giant shadow flickering through the flames to the right of us and the shadow started growing smaller as the person continued walking up to us. "I am Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm and as such you will address me by my honorific title." A giant Nord said as he walked up to our cage.

Ulfric was impressive. I have never seen him, but hearing tales of how he killed High-King Torryg, of how he survived the Great War…I expected him to be very strong and intimidating. And he was. He had very thick long shoulder-length hair…and a goatee. That was always a sign of either a power-crazy maniac, or a lesser villain. I wasn't sure which one he was yet, but I sure hoped he was on our side. The fact that he was adorned in all black armor hinted towards him being evil. But his sandy blond hair said otherwise. Jeez…I wish I could figure him out before he opened his mouth. Judging him would be so much easier.

I shook my head, clearing it away from any distractions. Honestly, I was probably the only sane person left on this team, so I couldn't let something like looks hinder what I thought. He was probably a good guy.

Jarl Ulfric looked us over for a second. He looked at me, then Cecilie. He focused on her for a longer time, studying her eyes, no doubt. "You're a seer, aren't you?" He said as he looked at her. "Those eyes…they are the eyes of a Moth Priest. Blinded by an Elder Scroll were you?"

Cecilie nodded, smiling. "You sure know your blind girls, don't you?"

Ulfric only gruffed in reply. He looked away before saying, "I spent time evacuating Moth Priests from the Imperial City before it was taken by the Thalmor during the Great War. It was during that evacuation that I was taken prisoner and tortured by the Thalmor. Enough about that, however." He looked at the cage. "Let's get you out of here. GUARD!" He yelled out, bringing the jailor over to our cage. Ulfric gestured to lock and said, "These are my guests. Let them out."

Asger smiled as he leaned forward. "Speaking of guests…we came here with two Khajiits and an Argonian. All of which were banned from entering Windhelm. Can you extend that graciousness to letting them in?"

Ulfric looked stunned for a second before saying. "The Argonian, sure. The Khajiits…will need individualized escorts."

"Why?" I asked as I looked up at him.

The lock on our door shifted open and Ulfric walked in. He shrugged as he said, "Old law. Those cats are known for being sneaky thieves. And I _will_ tolerate them only because the Dragonborn is in the company of them. I will _not_, however, allow them to run freely through my hold capital. They will stay in the presence of my guards at all times."

I was about to combat him on the thought patterns of my friends being thieves, but then I started thinking of Ruby. I could already see her eyes glowing with the sight of anything shiny and expensive. Knowing Ruby, she would steal something within two steps of walking in the town. Then I started thinking about M'aiq. He would probably start a fight with anyone just to get a laugh. I had to sigh as I realized that Ulfric's concerns and stereotyped beliefs could be founded as true if we let our friends into the town.

Asger laughed as he stood up and brushed off his dusty raggy clothes. "You expect a race of mischievous cats to behave after being so adamant about staying out of your city? How well do you feel that is going to go over?"

Ulfric only shrugged as he stepped out of the cell. "About as well as our war with the Imperials. If they stick to their good graces, they will prevail in being welcome here freely. If they stray from the path…they will be killed." Then he stopped and turned around. "Bad turn of phrase. They will be punished. Jailed or banned from entrance." He shrugged it away. "Now, let us begin our conversation. Follow me, please."

…

So, we walked through the town, Ulfric telling us about his struggle with the Empire and Aldmeri Dominion. He was in the Great War as an Imperial soldier and fought in some of the greatest campaigns before he was captured by the Thalmor and slowly broken. He eventually escaped his captors and returned to Skyrim, after finding that the Imperial City was spared after Emperor Mede signed the White-Gold Concordat. From there, Ulfric was not happy to find that he somehow did not recognize the home returned to, only finding his leaders bowing to the Thalmor and slowly welcoming them into our home.

Honestly…I didn't hate the Aldmeri Dominion until they tried to kill my daughter. Now, I hated them just because of said fact. And although we had a war with them and we were in some sort of stalemate, I still didn't hate them for any other reason. I should hate them because they killed so many people just to rule all of us. The race of man was already ruled by elves and that did not end up so well for either of us. Now, they were trying it again. Did they really think history would not repeat itself?

Even with everything Ulfric told us, I still think he's being a little petty about his revolution. Did he not understand he was putting so many people's lives at risk? This war within Skyrim was not being challenged by the Thalmor because it helped weaken our armies.

I sighed as I tried to clear my head of all the political issues of Skyrim's plight. Sure, I could go on about both sides of the field and maybe even say something good about the Aldmeri Dominion and some rightful claim to rule us…yeah…somehow I still wouldn't convince myself about that.

I shook my head clear as a child ran up to Jarl Ulfric and Asger. She stopped a few feet away and asked, "Can you please tell me where Aventus Aretino lives?"

Ulfric stopped and addressed the young girl. "Oh…that's right. I heard he came back…even after I sent him to Riften to live in the orphanage there." He looked back at Asger and then over to Ralof, who was now joining us. "Hey, Ralof…isn't Aventus living in his family's house?"

Ralof nodded. "Yes, Jarl Ulfric." He smiled at the child and pointed down the road. "He lives down the road. It will be the fourth house on the left. You can't miss it. It's the only house that turns into an arch. So…are you his girlfriend or something?"

The child smiled. "Something of the sort. We have an…agreement of sorts."

Ulfric stopped to brush his chin. "Be careful, child. Rumor has it that Aventus is trying to contact the Dark Brotherhood. I do not know if the rumors are true, but that's the word in my court."

The child looked scared for a second. "The Dark Brotherhood? Why…why would someone do that?" She started crying as she walked away. "Thanks for the information, mister. I'll be careful and report any assassins to the guards."

I watched as she ran off towards the house. Why did something bother me about her? I couldn't place it in my mind, but it seemed like she was acting. Well, I guess she was involved more than she let on. Maybe she was an assassin? No…she was just a little girl. Who ever heard of a child assassin? Like some sort of girl hit man. Nah…that's just a ridiculous idea.

So, we finally reached the gate to see Ruby and M'aiq with several other Khajiits out by the caravans. They were all sitting down to a circle, taking something white and grainy. Now…I'm not one to judge but…why were they snorting it? Even so, as we approached, we could see Ruby smiling from ear-to-ear, her eyes wide and dilated.

Ulfric crossed his arms and looked back at us. "Oh…I'm sure this will change my mind about letting these drug-takers in my city."

One of the Khajiits hissed in amusement. "Oh…come on, man. We're not doing anything bad. We're not hurting anyone." He wobbled as he pulled a cup of something up towards Ulfric. "Want some moon sugar? See the rainbows in the sky…"

Ulfric looked straight up and so did I. Was he talking about the northern lights? If so…you didn't need a drug to see them. I sighed as I looked down at Ruby and said, "Ruby…tell me you didn't have any of that moon sugar."

Ruby glanced at me and her smile widened. "Since when does your hair change colors? I like that: blue…orange…green….white….purple…"

I sighed as I grabbed her and dragged her off her feet. "Ok, tell me this. Where's Maleek?"

Her smile dropped. "We got hungry…"

Asger full out busted laughing. "Oh my gods…they ate Maleek." He turned around, still bending over, laughing his ass off.

"No, they didn't." Maleek said as he walked back, hauling a dead deer behind him. "They got hungry and since I'm the only one capable of smelling prey and killing it…they sent me on an errand." He dropped the deer in the middle of the circle of drugged Khajiits and said, "Here you go…sugar tooths." He brushed his hands off an looked at us. "So, I take it that we're allowed in the city now?"

Ulfric looked down at the drugged Ruby and M'aiq. M'aiq was passed out, but Ruby was glancing up at him with kitten eyes. "I'll be good…I swear." She said with a glazy grin growing on her mouth.

Ulfric looked over at Asger and sighed. "You _will_ have an audience with me, now. I have a lot to say and not a long time to discuss it."

Asger nodded. "Yeah, that's fair. Can Lydia and Cecilie join us? Maybe Ruby too?"

Ulfric's eyebrows shot up. "Never…has a Khajiit set foot in my palace." He looked down at the drugged kitten, who was already starting to pass out. "but… I guess some time that needs to change. We have a bigger threat to deal with and anyone who hates the Thalmor is ok with me."

Ruby nodded very passionately. "Oh yes…I hate the Thalmor. They're meany-pants."

The other Khajiits gasped at her words. The leader of them shook his head. "No, no…they're not. They saved the twin moons. They saved our race from extinction. If it had not been for them…we wouldn't be here now. Our race depends on that moon, we can't breed without it."

Ruby turned her head away. "I don't care. They tried to kill my friend." She stood up and nodded to me. I could see her eyes clearing up. I could see the amethyst in her hand. "Well…thanks for teaching me a little bit about my culture, guys. I hope I get to see you guys later."

The circle waved good-bye to her and went back to sniffing their moon sugar as we began walking back into Windhelm. Ulfric had already begun to see that her head was clearing up. Eventually, it led to this. "You seem very…normal. What happened?"

Ruby held up an amethyst. "This keeps my head clear. Those Khajiits wanted to show me a moon ceremony. We sat in a full-moon circle and took turns taking the moon sugar to see visions. I…saw something but I don't think it was a vision." She smiled and looked over at me. "It was fun, though."

That was when I noticed the girl from earlier walking towards us. She looked happy. That's when her eyes focused on us and her face scrunched up. "Maleek?"

We all stopped and Maleek tripped on his own sword.

The girl smiled and said, "Yup…can't be anyone else now." She ran up to us and said, "Maleek, what are you doing here? Your father's worried sick, you know. Where have you been for two months?"

Maleek smiled and said, "Oh, you know…job."

She looked from Maleek over to Asger and then back to Maleek. "Taking your sweet time with it? Wasn't that your father's 'job'?"

Maleek shrugged and I started to reach for my sword. Oh great…this was an assassin after all. She was a hit girl. Jeez, they were making them younger and younger. Must be hard for the Dark Brotherhood to survive these days if they were resorting to using children. But…it was genius because no one, not even I, would ever think that children could be assassins.

The girl saw me reach for my weapon and gave me a sick glare that I could feel in my gut. "What's the matter, miss? Do you hear dragons approaching?" I could hear her voice feigning innocence and a little apprehension. Whoever she was…she was good.

I looked over at Ulfric and Ralof, both of them were looking up at the sky now. I guess they were looking for the dragon. In that second, that girl just flew up to me, jumping into my chest and grabbing me by the neck. "You even try anything and I will snap you."

I shook my head and looked down at the girl. She was still looking up at me. She grinned lopsidedly at me and nodded. Was…was that my imagination or did she just project an Illusion spell into my mind? I couldn't tell so I looked down at Maleek and said, "So, Maleek. Who's your friend?"

He looked up at me, his eyes wide. "Um…Babette. She's my…well…friend from school."

Babette walked up to me and said, "And until further notice, I guess I'll be following you."

I found myself nodding at her. Was this a bad thing or a bad thing? I could not yet tell. So, I looked over at Cecilie, who did not looked shocked or worried at all. Good…maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ok, so next chapter will envolve a lot of talking. Talking between Maleek and Babette. Talking between Ulfric and Asger and talking between Ruby and the demon on her shoulder. Ok, enjoy._


	37. Ch 37: Steak dinner

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, it's been a while. I took a small exodus...or however it's spelled. I was taking a break, ok? Well, anyway. The new chapter's out. Hope you enjoy and stuff. _

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Where to begin? Oh… well… today's been something. Asger is meeting with Ulfric right now, both of them are talking it up with Cecilie over something. Well, they're waiting for me, but I'm stuck having lunch with Maleek and Babette. They're acting and talking like buddies who haven't seen each other in a long time and are having some sort of catch-up date. Ruby is stalking nearby, trying to keep more or less hidden from us. To her credit, she's not just hiding behind a building and glaring around the corner like she used to. No, she's walking around in circles, finding stuff near us to do while appearing bored. I can tell she's trying to keep her eyes on Maleek. I'm beginning to think that she has some sort of crush on Maleek and can't stand to see him with another girl. It's weird._

_Speaking of which, this girl is weird. I wanted to squirm out of the little lunch date, but she insisted that I joined them. She won't take her eyes off me. It's like she's planning on killing me or something. I can't stand it. If that's not enough, listening to them talk about their job is bothersome._

_Lydia…_

…

"What are you writing?" Babette asked as she looked up at me.

I closed my journal and glanced around the tavern. The tavern was pretty empty, but the bartender was just around the corner. Not surprisingly enough, the two assassins chose a corner table where they could put their backs to the walls so they could watch everything. They also chose the darkest corner where no one would look and where no one could really hear them while they talked quietly about their business.

We had been here for a couple minutes already. Babette ordered water and Maleek ordered some sort of tree sap juice. I ordered mead. I feel like I'm going to want to forget everything that happens today. The last thing I want is to remember two assassins talking, especially two kids.

I looked down at Babette, who glanced up at me with the most serious set of eyes I've ever seen. She looked down at my closed journal. "What did you write? Am I mentioned?"

I nodded and pulled my journal closer to me. "Yes. Why?"

She smiled thinly as she said, "Well…you know my profession. You also know that in my profession…no one can know who I am or what I do. So…for you to mention me in your journal…and make any sort of clue as to what I do for a living…you would have to die."

The area grew cold and silent as we sat there, waiting for our waiter to approach us with our drinks. Babette continued to glare at me, leaning towards me with a nasty glare. "I can smell your fear, Lydia. Hand me your journal, please. I wish to read your current entry."

I quietly handed my journal over to her as the waiter walked up with our drinks. He handed us our drinks. He looked us over for a second before asking, "So, have you decided what you want to eat?"

Babette had not even looked at a menu since coming here. "Steak."

"And how would you…"

"Rare…very rare." She said, looking up at him.

The waiter stood there for a second before nodding and looking away. "Ok, and for you, sir?"

Maleek shrugged. "I'll take the juniper soup. And maybe a small salad."

The waiter tilted his head to the side. "What's a salad?" He shrugged before looking over at me. "Whatever. And you, ma'am?"

I sighed as I looked at the menu. Let's see. There was: wolf patties, steak, regular meat patties, leafy appetizers assembled in a bowl…whatever that was. Honestly, who in Skyrim would order a bowl of leafy appetizers? I shook my head, considering how on Nirn we _could_ even grow anything leafy in our frigid temperatures. Once I saw the baked potato as one of their recommended dishes, I pointed at the picture and said, "Loaded potato."

"Loaded with what, ma'am?" He asked, preparing to write my precise instructions.

"Wolf bacon bits, goat cheese, and some sort of hot saucy substance juice, preferably from some sort of hot spicy plant or seed." I said.

He looked at me in surprise. "It's called a pepper, ma'am. Imported from Black Marsh. It's called the 'Novapenyo'. Hottest pepper ever concocted. Said to have been made in an alchemist lab in the hidden lands of Black Marsh, under the orders of a spiteful king of who wanted his warriors to have a eye-burning blinding dust and stomach-turning hot-fast-crapping poison for not only incapacitating assassination targets but also for quick escapes. Every shadowscale in Black Marsh was supposedly fed this pepper since the day of their birth to become immune to the hotness, the dust, and the poison. The juice is said to burn through the hardest of souls…leaving the consumer an empty husk of their old selves, crying every day, waking up in attempted cold-sweats from screaming nightmares of the day they even smelled the pepper, let alone consume it."

The waiter finally finished his hushed monologue. I looked around the table, half expecting Asger to walk in from around the corner, playing some sort of soft dark tune that hinted to some sort of back story or very dramatic moment. The waiter himself leaned towards the only lit lantern, lighting up his face enough to outline his features and his glare as he looked down at me. "So…do you want to try the novapenyo sauce?"

I nodded and shrugged. "Eh…you only live once. Sure." I said as deadpanned as I could. Although I was both eager and excited over trying something so hot that I could blind someone, I was dead terrified of what could happen to me if I did try to consume such a thing. Curiosity kills the Khajiit in the dark alley of Windhelm…so they say. Even though I was pretty scared and excited, I managed to hold my impassive face as I looked up at the waiter with my signature dead eyes. I could see that he was buying my act and started writing it down in his list of things. He nodded as he walked away, leaving us alone again.

Maleek only chuckled before he said, "Wow…he was entertaining."

Babette could only smile. "Yes, I did enjoy his historically accurate tale of the novapenyo."

Maleek only chuckled before saying, "What? No, not that. I mean…he doesn't know what a salad is. Some Wood Elf." He scoffed and shook his head.

Babette only shook her head in amusement. "Maleek…they're cannibals. They eat less lettuce than you eat your own scales." She finally looked over at me and snatched my journal away from me. Damn, I was hoping that she would have forgotten about that. She opened it up and started reading. I could see her smiling as she did so. "Hmm…I do not know this 'Dragonborn Thane' but by the way you describe him, he sounds yummy."

My face started burning as I hid my face. Was she going through the whole thing? I watched in partial horror as she continued reading my entries. "He also seems very relaxed and chilled, while you also portray him as a bit of a badass. In a way, he disgusts you, humiliates you, and yet, you are strangely attracted to his stronger side." She tossed the journal back at me and glared at Maleek. "And you have not killed him yet? By the way the journal describes you as an inadequate bumbling assassin-wannabe clumsy screw-up; I would have to kill you now for endangering our brotherhood and giving us an overall bad image of who we accept as assassins."

She looked over at me and noticed that I was beginning to stretch for my sword. "You, cheerleader. I thought I made it very clear about what would happen if you reached for that weapon around me."

"Cheerleader?" I asked.

She nodded and turned back to Maleek. "Maleek, not only did you accidentally cause your father to trip and break his leg, but you stole his contract. If Veezara had not already shared with me his contract information as his second…I think no one would know that the Dragonborn is even a hit." She stopped talking and started looking innocent just as the waiter came up to us with our food.

He set our dishes down, one at a time. In that few seconds of minor relief, I started looking around. I could see Ruby already sitting on the other side of the room, glancing at us while she ate some type of giant insect. She noticed me and smiled weakly, looking embarrassed at being noticed.

Babette noticed her as well, even if she didn't look at her at all. "That cat has been following us all day long. If I did not catch the smell of your scent on her fur…I would have killed her by now for compromising me."

I sighed as I finally leaned back in my chair. "Oh…my….gods. Stop it with the 'I'm a tough bitch' act." I looked down at her, surprised that I drew any reaction from her. "If you're friends with Maleek, you're good enough for me…even though you're trying to kill my thane…and husband. In fact, you could even say to my thane that you're going to kill him for the Dark Brotherhood and yet…he still would find a place for you in our little group because he's just that stupid and loves dramatic tension. Even though you seem more competent of a killer than anyone else I've ever seen." I finally caught my breath and said, "I bet deep down there is some type of child just screaming to be a child again."

She looked taken aback for a second before flipping her hair back. "Hold that thought." She said as she grabbed the bloody raw steak and shoved her face into it.

I froze as I watched the small girl making love to the large piece of raw meat on the table. Then she picked it up and started shaking it above her head, her teeth still stuck inside the meat. She made a very loud slurping sound as she squeezed the steak, blood dripping down like a waterfall onto the table. When she supposedly finished, she tossed the steak aside and started licking the table.

I turned my face away and looked over at Maleek. "Oh…Maleek. This is disgusting. Does she do this to prove some sort of point? What is she some sort of blood drinker?" That's when the world stopped for me. I felt something very cold come over my shoulder and just over the right side of my neck. I felt very exposed all the sudden. I glanced over at Babette, who was looking up at me with black eyes with yellow irises, her mouth covered in blood. I glanced inside her mouth to see two very pointy teeth. Oh…

..

Crap.

Babette only smiled as she climbed onto the table and grabbed me by my throat. I was suddenly pinned against the wall and my body refused to move. Babette pushed harder and I could feel my throat collapse. "Tell anyone and you're deader than I am."

The sudden illusion in my mind shattered and I found myself still frozen in my seat. Babette was talking mildly to Maleek but took a second to glance up at me. She winked and returned to her conversation with Maleek. Silently, I started eating my loaded potato, already forgetting about the novapenyo sauce. I took my first bite and my tongue cried out in instant horror. I took a deep breath as I tried to cool off my tongue while I reached for my glass of mead. I brought the glass of mead up to my lips and then the whole bottle exploded. Hot shards of glass and ignited alcohol rained across the table, setting the table on fire. Babette was already standing up, blasting Frost magic at the table, killing the alcohol induced fire.

Both Maleek and Babette looked up at me as I tried to fight the hot sauce that had crept down into my lungs. Somehow by just breathing in the fumes of the sauce I was writhing on the ground, trying to cough it out. After a minute of struggling, I finally found myself calming down. My head was spinning, my entire body was sweating coldly, and I was crying over just trying it in the first place. This pepper was going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life…I already knew it.

Babette looked up at Maleek and said, "Jeez, and here I thought you were stupid." She looked down at me and said, "Come up, Lydia. You're embarrassing yourself."

I slowly slid myself up and sat down in the chair. I finally looked around the table. "Why did my bottle of mead explode?"

Babette only shrugged. "I know that the pepper is sometimes used as an igniting substance in bombs. I'm guessing breathing the fumes of that pepper into that bottle you caused some sort of chain explosion because of the flammability of the alcohol. By the way…just by smelling your breath I picked up the slightest hints of pig urine…why?"

Maleek burst out laughing as he fell to the ground. "Because she and half of the Stormcloak army subjected themselves of Wood Elf abuse!"

I groaned as I looked over at Maleek. "Maleek, stop it. I doubt that the Bosmer found us and purposely gave us pig urine just because the Stormcloaks were nearby."

"Oh…I wouldn't be too surprised by that, ma'am." Our Bosmer waiter said as he walked up with a mop. "You find that the Bosmer around these parts are very hateful of the Stormcloaks. Sure, these Stormcloaks are fighting for their land…but they don't care about us elves. Some of us have decided to fight back a bit. I did hear about a pig farmer who lost his family in a Stormcloak raid so I would guess he just felt like feeding them piss as subtle punishment."

Babette only smiled as she looked up at me. "So…you drank piss water?"

I shook my head. "No…I drank piss wine. You know…alcohol. It's a thing that kills all germs…like anything in piss. Therefore, it was clean wine." Boy, sure that sounded like good logic, but face it…I still drank piss.

Her face said it all, too. "Uh-huh." She said, very deadpanned and disinterested, not to mention a little sarcastic. She crossed her arms and waved at the waiter. "Either way, our meal is over. I'm glad I at least got to eat." She stood up and looked over at me. "Now, I have to meet your meaty boy-toy. Like I said earlier 'he sounds yummy'."

I stood up and followed her out, Maleek right behind me. As soon as he exited the tavern, I looked around for any guards or anyone who could overhear us. I didn't see anyone, so I didn't feel bad when I walked up to her and grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her towards me. "Now…hold on. Do you even care about who he is or why you're being sent to kill him, let alone who set up the contract in the first place?"

Babette tossed her hair to the side. "Hmm…let me think about it." She stuck her hand out and said, "Paralyze." A green mist flew out of her palm, covering me instantly. She pushed gently on me, knocking me over. "You have thirty seconds to _not_ follow me. Think it over."

Maleek shrugged as he stepped over my frozen body. "Sorry, Lydia. Just be glad she isn't killing you as well. She usually doesn't leave any loose ends."

Babette stopped and turned around. "Hmm, good point, Maleek. Oh well, I still have the element of time. Let's move."

They ran off and I was stuck lying on the ground. Then I saw Ruby glancing down at me from the rooftops. She bounded down, landing next to me. She slid an amethyst ring over my finger and I felt the spell slip away. I stood up and said, "Come, Ruby. We have a meeting to crash." We started running through the streets and said, "Look, I know you like Maleek, sort of, but…you may have to kill him. They're going after Asger."

Ruby only nodded, keeping up with me easily. "Yeah, I figured that. It will be nice to see that we can finally finish our fight. If you want, I can fight the vamp girl and you can do away with Maleek. I kinda want to take her head off anyway."

Thinking of how easily Babette continued to get inside my head, I calculated the possibility that Ruby would not be affected because of her shamanistic training. "Yeah, I'm fine with that. Come now, Asger needs us." I said as we approached the great hall of Windhelm, where Asger and Ulfric were currently having their meeting.

I busted through the doors as the downed guards started standing back up. I had only seconds to take in what I was seeing. There, sitting against a wall, was Babette. Beside her was Asger. They were calmly talking as though they were good buddies. I let out a disbelieving laugh/sigh of relief as I grabbed my head in frustration. Of course…he had to know her. He knew everyone… Stupid Dragonborn curse of being a main character of every subplot.

I caught my breath as I walked up to them, looking down at Babette. "So, change your mind?"

She looked up at me with mild surprise. "What? Oh…that. Um…" She looked away. "Did I mention that he looked tasty? You were right, he's tasty."

I looked over at Ulfric and said, "What did I just miss?"

He barely blinked as he looked down at me. "That little girl just bested my guards and interrupted our war meeting that was put on hold because the Dragonborn would not begin without you. Then, as she lifted him up and threw him around like a rag doll, I bravely wrestled her to the ground, where I would have spanked her for being a disruptive child…had she not bitten me. Then, she flew over to the Dragonborn with wings that sprouted out of her back, screaming like a banshee. Then, the weirdest thing I've even seen happened. Instead of reaching for the bow to his right, or the silver sword behind him, he grabbed a flute and started playing. The girl stopped and just…listened. Then, the Dragonborn gave some type of uplifting empowering speech about why she should not conform to society's standards of vampires and she just…melted in his arms."

I couldn't stop myself from grabbing my head in both amusement and frustration. He won her over by giving her one of his bardic speeches? When was that going to stop? Well, this time it ended up being a good thing. I looked down at Babette and said, "So, are you going to try killing him again?"

Babette only smiled. "Kill who? If I recall correctly, I'm the only person outside Maleek and Veezara who know about this contract. Veezara doesn't even really know who he's after; just that he received a contract. When he broke his foot, since I was his second…he gave it to me. Then, the next day, the contract was gone and so was Maleek. The two of us are the only ones who know who's really on death hunt right now. And it's not like we have a Listener who can listen to the Night Mother anyway. No one will find out that he's still alive anyway."

I could tell by the amount of her babbling that she was trying to explain herself. It wasn't working. I looked over at Ulfric and said, "Sir…you should get yourself looked at. You were just bitten by a vampire."

He nodded and started for the door. "Right, but when I come back, we're having our talk. And…even though I hate vampires, I will let her stay because she did the right thing when she could have done her job instead." He walked through the door, leaving us alone.

I allowed my breath to escape as I looked down at Babette. "See? I knew you'd join us. Somehow…"

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Hmm, next chapter might be more intersting than this one. Don't know yet. One thing's for sure. I may be a good writer or a bad one... but I will never ever... EVER... have an ending as bad as Mass Effect 3... ever.. I wont' allow it._


	38. Ch 38: First rule of Bard Club

**Cearbhail:**_ This chapter may be short, it may not be long...but it has spirit. It has so much spirit that my nose bled after writing it. So, for the sake of my leaking nose, please enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_You know what? I give up. I worry and worry. I try to save his life, but every time I think I can do something useful as his housecarl, he takes care of it. I don't care if he's the Dragonborn, some prophesied person who is destined to save our world, the Arch-Mage, a Companion, and a Thane of Whiterun…I would like to save him for once. Just once! And no, I don't include punching Alduin in the stomach as that once. The adventure that followed was so bad that he had to keep us alive in several situations while I was barely able to stand. That set the score back by about 50 pages._

_Oh, and even though I burst through the door and found Babette talking to Asger like he was an old buddy, Ruby still charged up to Maleek and started fighting him. Maleek, surprised as hell, took her tackle and the two of them rolled across the floor for a while, fighting. After I got the two to break up, I explained to Ruby that we didn't have to fight. She smiled and scoffed, saying that she already knew that. She just wanted to fight Maleek for once. And then she called him a name and the two are back to doing what annoys me most: fighting every chance they can get._

_On a spot of good news, Ulfric has come back to us, completely exhausted. It's been three days since he left. According to what he said: he couldn't be cleansed of the vampiric disease, so he set out for a cure. He heard of some person in Morthal who could heal him. Well, once he got there he had to go do something to be cured. The process was not only lengthy but apparently Ulfric had to do something he wasn't very proud of. Well…he won't tell us what it was. But the process failed anyway so he had to find another way to rid himself of vampirism before it set in. So, he traveled to Whiterun and joined the Companions. That's how I found out Asger is one of them. Well, when Ulfric came back, he smelled like a wet dog…what else is new with men? More than just that, however, he's cured of vampirism. Now he just can't get into Sovngarde…not sure why, but he can't._

_Lydia…_

…

"Right, now that we can finally put my past behind me…" Ulfric said as he cleared his throat. I saw him sniff the air and he snapped his head around. "Who is cooking steak?"

"Steak?" Babette said, her teeth starting to show. "I want mine rare!"

Ulfric started licking his lips, which seemed odd to me. "Rare…ooh, that sounds good." He said. His eyes seemed to narrow and for a second I thought Ulfric was going to do something weird. Jeez, with how our world seemed to work, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned into a wolf or something equally as stupid. Ulfric seemed to catch himself and straightened himself up. He cleared his throat and said, "Right…that will take some getting used to." He turned to Asger and said, "Now that your entire team has shown up, let's get to business."

I looked around for M'aiq. No one seemed to notice that he was still missing. The last time I saw him, he was lying on his back, moaning peacefully as everyone around him snorted moon sugar. In fact, I wondered if M'aiq was still passed out with the Khajiit caravan outside. Would be amazing if he was. But I didn't expect him to be. I expected him to interrupt us and make Ulfric our enemy somehow. That's what I really expected.

Asger stood up and shrugged. "Ok, time for our epic discussion. Let all of Skyrim be witness to our epic discussion. Will you side with the Empire?"

Ulfric seemed to consider it. "No, out of the question. Will you join the Stormcloaks in destroying the Empire and Aldmeri Dominion?"

Asger seemed to consider it. "No." He crossed his arms and said, "It seems…we're at an impasse."

Ulfric matched his crossed arms. "So it would seem. But…who will break first?" He said, giving Asger a glareful stare.

Asger matched his glare and they walked up to each other, not blinking, both eyes wide and forceful.

The world around them seemed to disappear into just them. If I had been any crazier, I could have sworn that the entire world had stopped breathing and spinning just to pay attention to the two glaring men. I wasn't sure what was happening, but they were sticking out their chests, bringing their arms out to welcome the other to make the first move. They started walking around in a circle, keeping the other in a lock of their ridiculous stare. It was weird, Ulfric was a giant of a man, while Asger was a skinny little piece of bone. The fact that the two men could combat with just their eyes was amazing. It was good credit on Asger's side that he could stand up to Ulfric in this condition. Either that or Ulfric considered this an easy fight.

"You're good at bardic combat, Dragonborn. Your stare is almost enough to make me want to back down." Ulfric said, grinning lopsidedly. "But you're not the only Shouter here. I too have a voice, one that will not be quieted."

Asger seemed to smile in his own right, not weakening his glare any more than Ulfric had. "Your stare is strong too. You have great spirit, but why waste it defeating your cause? You want Skyrim to become stronger, you're only hurting her."

"I am not weakening Skyrim, Dragonborn. I am saving her." Ulfric said back. He pointed towards the door and said, "The Empire used to make us strong but the Empire has crumbled underneath the Thalmor heel. They lick the Thalmor boots from the curb of the street, hoping that the Thalmor won't kick their teeth in. They don't understand what I do…that war is coming. The Thalmor haven't given up, they've just left us to rot. They fear what we can do, which is why they've taken a break to strengthen themselves. I won't give them a break. Even if it's just this nation…we will drive those damn elves out."

Asger seemed to step back. Ulfric's glare became stronger, but his face was starting to turn red. I could see by looking at Asger that his face was still normal. He had yet to exert himself. He stepped right back up and said, "But I know something that you should as well. Did the messenger not get here? Did you not hear about the ten year-old Imperial seer who was killed by a Thalmor agent?"

Ulfric nodded, his eyes still glued to Asger's. "Yes. What of it?"

"The Empire has had enough. The Thalmor went too far killing her. General Tullius is willing to join forces with you to take down the Aldmeri Dominion. It was against the rules to kill her, against the White-Gold Concordant that you hate so much. They want to meet with you in Whiterun where a truce between your two armies will be arranged. Then…your guess is as good as mine." Asger said.

Both men had not moved or blinked since they started their 'discussion'. I watched as Ulfric seemed ready to weaken himself, but as he was about to back down, he pushed himself right back up and said, "The Empire is corrupted. It had many opportunities to do the right thing. When the purge started in Cyrodiil, they should have responded. When the outlawed the worship of Talos, they should have responded. When they walked into Skyrim and forced their way into Solitude, they should have responded. Why should I help the Empire now?"

Asger smiled. I think this was it. He was ready to finish this discussion.

"Wow…this is getting intense." Ruby said as she walked up beside me, crossing her arms. Right as she smiled, Maleek came from behind pouncing on top of her. The two of them started rolling around again. I rolled my eyes and looked over to Cecilie, who was patiently standing near Asger. She saw me looking at her and nodded. Ok…not sure what she was nodding for, but I hoped it was good.

Asger pointed to Ulfric and said, "You want to know why? I want to know why as well. Why do you fight now?"

Ulfric seemed taken aback. "Someone has to. The Empire won't do it, so I will." His hands scrunched up. "But that is not the only reason that I fight. I fight for the men I've held in my arms, dying on foreign soil! I fight for their wives and children, whose names I heard whispered in their last breath! I fight so that all the fighting I've already done hasn't been for nothing! I fight... because I must. Because _WE_ must. Because Skyrim is our home and I will die before I see it in the hands of the Elves."

The force of Ulfric's speech made Asger fall to his knee, grabbing his chest in what appeared to be pain. "Your glare…too strong…too persuasive…" He started chuckling as he stood back up, grinning even stronger at Ulfric. Then, his hair started levitating, his glare becoming stronger. This was it… I just knew it somehow. Asger shook his head, never moving his eyes. "Very good speech, almost had me there. Let's hurry this up…my eyes are burning. The Empire _is_ fighting now, but they want your help."

"We don't know that for certain, Dragonborn. From the message I got, Legate Rikke was going to give her report to General Tullius. I never received an invitation to conduct a treaty with him." Ulfric replied. "For all I know, if I march to Whiterun with my army behind me, it could be seen as an attack. Jarl of Whiterun might try to have me killed. We're already on strange terms. How about…a compromise?"

The two men stood there for a second. Asger nodded. "A compromise? Of what sort?"

Ulfric broke the contact, ending the glaring war. Asger fell to his knees, coughing up blood. He wiped his mouth up and caught his breath, rubbing his exhausted eyes. I felt sorry for Asger, that staring match must have been too hard on him.

As Ulfric started to walk away, he bumped into a table. "Elf piss!" He spat out, grabbing his shin in pain. "Dammit, I can't see." He waved his hands around in the air, "Galmar! Come over here at once!" Wow, apparently Ulfric had an even harsher affect from glaring for too long.

"Galmar Stone-fist?" I asked to Cecilie. "Isn't he that guy that Legate Rikke has a crush on?"

Cecilie nodded. "Oh yeah…it's mutual." She motioned to the really buff Nord walking up, wearing really tight leather armor that was adorned with a bear pelt. The head of the bear lied on top of his head, forming a hood. No wonder Rikke liked him. Heck, I might if I wasn't already committed.

Galmar stopped in front of Ulfric and said, "What is it, my Jarl?"

Ulfric reached out with his left hand, trying to grab something. "I've been blinded. Quick, fetch me two axes."

Galmar nodded and turned around. "At once, my Jarl. Do you require aid?" He asked before he took off.

"No, I require ale. Fetch me a few bottles." Ulfric called as he found a bench and sat down. He looked over to me and said, "You…seer girl. Can you help heal my eyes?"

Cecilie nodded and walked over to Ulfric. "This…might hurt a little." She said as she jabbed her finger into Ulfric's forehead.

Ulfric screamed out in pain, his hands twitching as Cecilie started doing something with Restoration magic. Once Cecilie finished, Ulfric shook his head to clear it up. He looked over to Asger and said, "You, Dragonborn, have earned my respect and my full commitment to your aid." He rubbed his eyes, groaning. "Never has anyone fought so hard with me. No one can withstand my bardic glare for that long."

Asger nodded, still coughing up small patches of blood. "Same with me. You're the strongest bardic fighter I've ever met." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his flute. "Do you want to go another round? I bet I can beat you with a flute!"

Ulfric chuckled as he finished rubbing his eyes. "Maybe some other time, Dragonborn. I'm not bad with a flute, but I think the universe has held its breath long enough. That and we both don't need to end up deaf too."

Cecilie walked up to Asger and said, "Dad…you really have to teach me how to fight bardly."

Asger nodded. "Ok, first rule of Bard Club…"

"You don't talk about Bard Club." Ulfric said. He stood up and said, "What you will learn here today will serve you forever, young child. There are four main ways that bards conduct combat: music, speech, dramatic glares, and theatrical performances. Theatrical performances may include music but can also include singing, dancing, performing plays, and body drumming."

"What's body drumming?" I asked, already sure that I was going to regret asking.

Ulfric smiled and walked up to Asger. "Let's show her." He said, starting by slapping his arms in a rhythmic tune. He started patting his legs, stomach, his chest, and his foot. Once he finished, Asger took from where he left off, like it was a competition. The two of them started becoming faster, changing tunes, and eventually both of them were simultaneously body-drumming in sync with the other. If that wasn't bad enough, they started spinning around, dancing in their own weird little way.

Galmar walked back into the room with his two war axes. He saw Ulfric dancing and groaned. He rolled his eyes and looked at me. "He's a bard, isn't he?"

I nodded. "Now you know what I go through on a daily basis." I said to him as he walked up to me.

Galmar only shook his head. "You think you know a guy…"

…

Once the two had finished teaching Cecilie everything there was to bardic combatting, something that Ruby had sit down and joined in…we were finally given our task.

"Dragonborn, I know I don't have to explain this to you. You know all too well the importance of giving someone their axe. I want one of these axes delivered to the Jarl of Whiterun and one axe delivered to General Tullius. It might be best to give it to Legate Rikke instead, seeing as she'll understand the reason behind it." Ulfric said, handing the axes to Asger.

Asger nodded. "Roger. And when they accept your axes, I'll send a message your way. We'll meet up in Whiterun when all this is over."

Asger looked over at me and handed me an axe. "Lydia, take this axe and head to Whiterun. Deliver it to your uncle and say that it's from Ulfric, that he wants to make a truce between himself and the Empire. Do not forget that we're trying to conduct a peace truce. Take Ruby and Babette with you. I'll take M'aiq and Maleek with me to Solitude. When I am finished, I'll head to Solitude with General Tullius and Legate Rikke if I am successful."

I nodded and looked over at Ruby and Babette. I nodded to both of them and said, "Well…let's not waste any more time." I looked down at the axe in my hand. What the heck was this axe supposed to mean?

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Yes, bardic glaring contests. it's a thing. Please spread around the news of the Bard Club. i think i can start a new craze._


	39. Ch 39: Dawn of the guards

**Cearbhail:**_ This chapter might not be as good as I hoped it would have been. But...I guess I'll let you guys tell me if it was sub-par comparable to my other works. I'll try to make up for it and if anyone has an issue with this questline because they have not done it themselves and wish to keep it a mystery...well... just skip ahead until the chapter "Back in Whiterun" so... ha!_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Wow…today's been long. I guess in hindsight I should have at least seen it coming. I mean, I'm leaving Asger today. Not (leaving) leaving, but you know…separating. Ok, not even separating. You know what? Ok, we're splitting up. No…that just doesn't sound right either. We're still engaged, I'm still his fiancé. We're just breaking up the group and all the men are going one way and all the women are going another. It's just supposed to be Ruby, Cecilie, and myself. Well, it's amazing just how fast that can be changed…here's why._

_So, I ask Cecilie when we should leave. She states that she isn't coming with me. She's leaving to tell the Blades that we're meeting up in Whiterun to prepare for war against the Thalmor. And if that's not weird enough, as I'm leaving town with Ruby…Babette comes out of nowhere and flings herself around my back. I, of course held my composure. (sigh) Ok…I freaked out. I screamed and screamed, thinking that the pint-sized vampire was going to suck my soul out of my neck. Instead, she's coming with me._

_And now…we're captured…again. Want to know how? Well, it started out on the bridge of Windhelm. I saw this Orc walking up and asked me if I was interested in hunting Vampires. He sees little Babette and then the next thing I know…I'm waking up blindfolded in a cart. Again! I'm sick of this crap. Worse off, I think Babette's killed. Wait…why is that worse off? Oh yeah…little demon can fight. She wasn't with us when I woke up. Ruby is still with me, though. I guess that counts for something._

_Lydia…_

…

I pushed my journal closed with my nose as I spat the quill out of my mouth. You know you're bored when you're writing a journal entry with your mouth.

I looked around the dark room. There were no windows and if it weren't for the bumps that we hit every few seconds and the sound of hooves hitting the ground, I wouldn't know that we were in a carriage. Wherever the carriage was going, I did not know, but I guess we were stuck going there. I looked over at Ruby, who was still out-cold.

I looked down at my chest, making sure that I was still dressed. Getting captured by Orcs during our time with the pirates…well, they took my clothes from me. Now we were with another Orc…I think. Heck, once I woke up, the first thing I remembered was the Orc asking me about vampires and then looking down at Babette. I had to focus really hard to remember that he aimed some type of hand-bow at me and pulled the trigger. Babette had deflected the bolt away from her, but it flew into my knee instead of just flying off. After that bolt hit me, I felt very weak and tired…and overly acceptable about what was going on. I think I passed out.

Shab, it hurts. My kneecap, not anywhere else on my body. Thankfully. I know Orcs are very loose about who they sleep with. I used to hear all the guards reminding me to wear knee-guards. Too many of us fighters get handicapped that way. Well, I might not be the fighter I am now because of it. Just imagine, a few years from now, I'll see Ruby growing into a wonderful fighter and the first thing I'll say to her is, "I used to be an adventurer like you…but then I took a weird arrow to the knee." Oh my gods…if I actually say that, I'll just opt to end myself before I get that remorseful.

I looked around the cabin, trying to see something. I could see that the war axe Galmar gave me was still sitting there in the corner. I wished I could move to cut my binds off my wrists, seeing as that I'm more tied up than I've ever been before but what would happen after that? I don't have a sword and I shouldn't use the axe. I guess I could shatter one of my limiters and just hammer the Orc in the face, but after all this time with Asger, I think I know a plot when I see one. He would just let this happen and somehow make a joke out of it. I should at least attempt to do the same.

"Uhh…" Ruby's voice started breaking the silence of the cabin as her body started moving. She shook her head and said, "What happened? I remember an Orc…then you fainted."

"Hey!" I said. "I did not faint. I was drugged." I did not want her first memory of us fighting alone to be me fainting.

"Whatever." Ruby said as she looked around the cabin. "I won't tell anyone if you won't. So…are you ok downstairs? I know that every once in a while when I was drugged by the Redguards keeping me enslaved…"

"Ruby!" I said, interrupting her. "No, we're not discussing that. Not now, not ever."

Ruby sighed. She looked around the cabin again, this time attempting to move her arms. She struggled for a second before sighing and giving up. "Are we captured again?"

I nodded. "Yeah…and I think Babette's dead."

"She's not." Ruby called out. "She ran away. The hunter chased her but then she dove into the river under the bridge. I don't think she's coming back, though."

I nodded, hoping that she didn't come back. But, I guess I was a little torn. She did offer to join our group, but she never explained why. I was guessing because she planned on killing Asger, but she had plenty of opportunities to do so. Maybe I'd never find out now.

So, for a while, we just sat there in silence. I listened to the horse pounding against the ground, the wheels as they creaked over loose stones, and the occasional random encounter. I was hoping that I would hear the person holding us cry out in pain so that we could just…leave. It's pretty bad when you wish harm on someone…ok, nevermind. This guy took us prisoner. He can die for all I care.

We continued to sit there in silence before I heard, "So…Maleek. Whatcha think of him?"

Ruby's high-pitched Khajiit voice was even more high-pitched than usual. I looked over at her to see that she was sitting up, already scratching the ropes off with one of her claws. "He's…annoying?"

Ruby scoffed but shook her head in amusement. "Yeah, he is that. But…do you think he is…more than that?"

I think I started catching onto what the conversation was really about. Was she asking me about dating advice? Oh man…she came to the wrong person for that. "Ruby…you should probably ask Asger about this subject. He's the bard of love, I'm not."

"Love? I…" She started looking away, her tail flicking in annoyance. "don't love Maleek. Yuck!" She stuck her tongue out. "I meant…do you think he'll try to kill Asger while we're not protecting him."

I felt so embarrassed that I even suggested that I thought that she loved Maleek. My stomach turned over and I looked away. "Uh…he might. I mean, he keeps saying that he will. But…he's just so…"

When I couldn't finish, Ruby supplemented with every possible word she could think of. "Clumsy, incompetent, useless, stupid, charming, cute…" She stopped and shook her head. "Completely useless, very stupid…"

I held my tongue as Ruby started trailing off into her own world. She was looking down at the floor very determinedly, her tail flicking very quickly. I could not tell what was going on inside her head.

Finally, the cart came to a stop and I heard someone walking alongside us. I heard him approach the back and I shielded my eyes away as the doors opened up. Good thing I looked away because I could hear Ruby crying out in misery. Too bad for her.

"You will come with me. Isran is going to speak with you about why you shouldn't communicate with vampires." The Orc said as he reached in and grabbed me.

"Why should I listen to this Isran and why have you taken us against our will?" I asked as the Orc pulled me out of the cabin.

"Uhh…" The Orc started turning his head away. "Because!" he said, shoving me into the arms of another person. That's when I noticed that they were all wearing the same armor. "Vori!" He said to the woman holding me. "Take this woman to see Isran. I'm sure she will join us once we tell her what happened to the Vigilants of Stendarr."

I rolled my eyes. "Why _would_ I care about some vigilants?"

The Orc grabbed Ruby and started pulling her out of the cart. Ruby kicked and screamed, kicking the Orc in the face. It was useless, the Orc was still pulling her in, grabbing her by the legs so that she couldn't kick him anymore. The Orc looked over at me and said, "Look, this is _going_ to happen…so just let it happen already."

…

"Would you like some coffee?" The Redguard named Isran asked me and Ruby. "How about some cake? Tea?" He asked us as he walked around us, looking us up and down.

"Aren't you that flamboyant captain we encountered?" I asked. I meant it as a joke, but I could definitely see a resemblance between the two.

"Ah…you met my brother…" Isran said, rubbing his eyes. "I hope he did not take your dress."

"I don't wear dresses." _Often._ I thought to myself.

Isran looked me up and down. "Pity…because you don't look like much of a fighter to me. Why are you here?"

Ruby sighed. "Because we were seen with a vampire and your Orc knocked us out."

Isran sneered at Ruby. "A vampire? What kind?"

"A succubus, I'm sure." Ruby said with a snarl growing. "Hanging out with Maleek like that…"

Isran nodded. "Got it. Trying to turn your friend, was it?"

"Oh…she was trying to turn him, alright." Ruby said. It was enough to make me snicker before Isran looked over at me with his serious white eyes.

"This is no laughing matter, missy." Isran said. "Vampires are dangerous, vile creatures. They are not to be trusted."

"Is that so?" I heard from above. I looked up and there was Babette, still dripping wet but in one piece. She looked over at me and smiled. "Hi Lydia. I decided to follow your scent all the way here to save you. Looks like I got here just in time."

Isran sighed with a heavy heart. "Oh my…they got a poor young girl." He looked down for a second and sighed with contempt. "Oh well. ARCHERS! Kill it!"

That was when all the chaos started. Babette started jumping across the ceiling, dodging all the bolts from the hand-bows. Isran's hands started glowing and I thought for a second that he _was_ the flamboyant sea captain I met earlier, but then he fired off the bright light and it exploded against the ceiling with a heavy blast. I looked up and saw the light explode. Babette wasn't nearby when it happened, but whatever it was made her cry out in pain. She fell from the ceiling and crashed into the ground, writhing in pain.

The archers and Isran started gathering around the girl, all aiming down at her. Thinking fast, I did the only thing I could think of. I looked at Ruby and said, "Hey…you have any more honey-nut treats left?"

She looked at me confused for a second but her brain started catching up with me. She nodded and pulled out three of them and shoved them in her mouth. I smiled as I stepped back and directed Ruby in front of me. "Ok, Ruby. Don't miss."

Isran smiled as he walked up to the downed Babette, who was still writhing in pain. "Well, vampire. Do you have any last words before I send you back to Oblivion?"

"I do!" I shouted.

Isran looked up at me and Ruby. I smiled and said, "I hope you're not allergic to honey like my friend is!"

Ruby sneezed, launching her new trademark "Snot Thu'um". The massive wave launched from her nose, covering everyone in front of us. It was powerful enough to knock everyone down and gave me enough time to run up to Babette and attempt to grab her. But…seeing as she was covered in slime, I thought better of it. I kicked her lightly instead and said, "Babette, move!"

Babette started rolling up onto her feet, already disgusted with what had just happened. "What on Nirn was…"

Ruby sneezed again, but Babette was fortunate enough to dive out of the way. Isran and his gang were supplied with another hit and with that we sprinted for the door.

"Don't let them…" Isran said as he started wiping off his mouth. "escape!"

Someone actually got in front of me and that gave me just enough and excuse to bring my fist up. "Get out of my way or I'll just go through you." I shouted as I approached.

Babette smiled. "Ooh, let me." She said. She ran up to the door guard and flashed her fangs. She bit him on the hand and said, "You're infected." She smiled as she pushed him away from the door. "Now, you can either join us…or get killed by your friends…whichever."

The guard sat there motionless for a second before he kicked Babette. "Stupid child…I can just cure myself!"

I guess Babette was only distracting him long enough for Ruby to jump on his back. Ruby started smacking his head against the ground, only enough to knock him out. It's not like we were going to repeat the Thieves Guild incident and kill popular guild people. No…that would just make them martyrs...

So, I unleashed one of my limiters and smashed my hand against the door. The door flew open, blowing up into dust as I did so. Bright sunlight flashed into the room and Babette hissed in displeasure. I grabbed onto her hand and said, "Just keep up with me."

"You aren't leaving just yet!" Isran said as he suddenly appeared ahead of us. He pushed me back, his body also running on some sort of unlimited power source.

I found myself and Babette flying through the hallway and crashing into a stable room. I could hear the distant cries of trolls nearby and I hoped that these stables were not for them.

Isran flashed into the room and stood in the doorway. "I'll let the vampire live for now, but if it as much breathes on someone…I'll take its head."

"Why are you being so generous?" I asked sarcastically as I started to push myself up and in front of Babette. Seriously…why was I suddenly so protective of someone who wanted to kill my fiancé just a few days ago?

Isran smiled. "Well, as it turns out, this is not the first vampire to come here. I have this other vampire who came here looking for protection. It has an elder scroll that tells of some prophecy. Unfortunately, this all has to do with some ritual that will eventually end with the sun being blotted out…and my little vampire has gone…missing. I need someone to go find it. Now, my forces are good at hunting vampires, but I feel that I need something a little more…vampire-ish to go find my vampire." He looked over at me and said, "And you're not only strong, but clever. Who ever thought of using a Khajiit's allergies to conduct a rescue operation? You're a useful asset."

Ruby suddenly flew from behind Isran, landing on his back. Isran groaned as he leaned forward, throwing Ruby off his back and under his boot. He looked down at her and said, "The fighting is done for now. Relax."

"You still haven't told me the convincing part of this whole plot." I said. "Why should any of us help you?"

Isran looked back up at me. "Why? I'll tell you why. This vampire comes from a very strong, very vast vampire royal line. The last one in Skyrim. And this clan is trying to take our sun away. If the sun vanishes…" He looked over at Babette. "Care to fill in the black, young vampire?"

Babette rubbed her chin and narrowed her eyes. "If the sun vanished…there would be no more hiding for vampires. They would take over Tamriel."

Isran nodded. "There…is that enough _reason_ to listen to me?" He gestured to the room. "Or is a world filled with vampires your kind of world?"

I shook my head. "No…it's not."

Isran turned around. "Then you have a choice. Do you want to join me and help me save Tamriel, or…do you eventually want to end up like that?" He pointed to Babette again.

I looked around. Ruby seemed to glare up at me with questioning eyes. Babette only glanced up at me and nodded. I don't know if she was offering to turn me or if she was agreeing that I help Isran. So, I offered to ask her. "Babette? What do you think?"

Babette didn't hesitate. "What? Just because I'm a vampire I'm obligated to care about other vampires? You obviously don't know squat about us." She said, shaking her head. Then she smiled. "A world of eternal darkness sounds lovely, though. The Dark Brotherhood would operate so smoothly in constant night…but who would issue contracts anymore? The answer…no one. No one alive would need the Dark Brotherhood anymore so we'd die anyway. We cannot allow this clan of vampires to take the sun away." Babette said, crossing her arms. "I guess I'm a vampire vampire hunter now. Oh well…" She said. "Wouldn't be my first vampire kill."

Isran nodded and looked over at me. "See, even your own demon agrees with me. So, will you help us?"

I looked around and everyone nodded. Did I really have a choice in this argument?

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Hmm...I think i'm going to have some fun with this.._

_oh and let me know what you guys thought about this chapter and what you expect to come._


	40. Ch 40: Ruby's love confession

**Cearbhail:**_ I good long chapter for once. I spent so much of my time on this backtracking to earlier chapters, making sure that everyone wore what I thought they wore. Oh...and Babette gives some spoilers that anyone will either notice or scratch their heads at. Either way, I know at least one of you will know what she's talking about, because I know this person reads pretty much all my Elder Scroll books. and...go._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_We're still at Fort Dawnguard. Ruby is getting a combat lesson from Isran about fighting vampires and Babette is acting as the demonstration. Isran may be a bit of a hard-ass, but he seems to be a kind but still very mean hard-ass. I, for all intents and purposes, have been learning about this…."crossbow". It's some sort of Dwarven construction, something that they used instead of standard bows like the rest of us. I tried taking it apart to study its mechanisms, but… as luck would have it…I only broke it. And as I broke the crossbow, a part of the tower to the south exploded into dust. People screamed out, death was incurred, and trolls stormed over the backyard. It was a giant monkey fest with flying poop, lots of bouncing, and women were not safe…at all._

_So, moral of my little story? Do not mess with crossbows. They are infused with magics we cannot begin to understand. Oh…and don't look an armored troll in the eye and expect to get away without crap on your face. Other than that, they're friendly…if not overly so. And easily excitable. Trust me, don't walk around trolls with blueberries in your pockets. Ruby had blueberries in her pockets and it drove the trolls crazy. One troll grabbed her and threw her to the next troll, which threw her to another troll, each one trying to get some blueberries. Every troll tried their best to get her blueberries. We almost lost her that day…luckily she has loose pockets and the blueberries fell out of her pocket. The trolls went for the blueberries, allowing Ruby to run away._

_Oh, and Babette is still not telling me why she decided to join me. I was hoping to get some alone time to ask her, but every time I get near her, she turns to bats and disappears. It's a weird little trait…but I guess she can do that? I never heard of any vampires turning into bats…it's just…weird. Anyway, I guess I should go. I have a vampire to hunt._

_Lydia…_

…

I placed my journal down and looked around. The room I was placed inside was big as a small apartment. No, I wasn't being held captive, but more like a princess. I really wished we could leave already, you know…get started with this story arc, but…Isran still has no idea where to start. He and Babette are strategizing, which is funny to see them do so. Isran tries to stay as far away from her as possible, but for a fraction of a second you can see that he might forget that the tiny girl is in fact…a vampire. Babette likes playing with his mind, trying to act as immature and innocent as possible. I've seen her true nature, so I know better. I guess Isran knows better too, but some part of him was a father, I think.

My Blades armor was being improved at the smithy. So, I was actually walking around the castle in one of the spare clothes that I carried around. A dark blue blouse with black leather pants. It felt good to be out of the armor. It felt like I could breathe again. It's amazing that I'd actually forgotten that I had been wearing Blades armor this whole time. When I woke up and looked at it this morning, it was so dinged up and covered with so much…stuff that I had to send it in to be cleaned and shaped.

Ruby's plated studded armor was also being refashioned. Holes were starting to appear in her leather and the plates had actually started falling off. More than that, however, Ruby was more concerned over the fact that the colors were fading away. She was spending the whole day in her room, fixing it up. I thought I might as well go visit her first before doing anything else.

So, I walked out of my room and within three steps arrived at her door. I knocked lightly on the door, hoping that I wasn't waking her up at the crack of dawn. Jeez, how many times could I use the word dawn in this place. I guess I could wash my hair with dawn shampoo, clean my armor with Dawn soap, and even don my armor before the next sunrise.

When no one answered the door, I pushed it open, "Ruby? I'm here to check up on you."

The room was empty. The sheets on the bed were perfectly folded, the floor was spotless. The room looked like it wasn't even touched once since we got here. It looked like Ruby had spent no amount of time in here at all. I started walking around the room, trying to see if I could find any clues about where she ended up. I looked around, not seeing one thing that belonged to her. As I looked around some more, I found some wrinkles on the sheets of the bed, near the floor. As I walked around, I could see a pair of loose sandals lying in front of Ruby's mysterious bag. The top of the bag was opened wide. I knew where she went.

I sighed as I weighed my options. I could either jump into the bag and talk to my adopted daughter, or I could hang out with a depressing old man with an overgrown scraggly beard and an egotistical vampire who was drawn to me for untold reasons. Hmm…jumping into a magical bag…or talking to old people? I decided to take my chances with the mystical portal.

I physically grabbed my nose, pinching it shut, closed my eyes, and jumped into the bag. Well…attempted to jump in the bag. My feet hit the floor, I fell backwards, and hit my head on the hard stone floor. I lied there for a couple minutes, feeling like a complete jackass and somewhat stupid for thinking that I could just…jump in. I rubbed the top of my head through a thin layer of watery eyes. I thought I was going to cry. Hitting my unprotected head on the hard floor hurt. And this was coming from a woman who jumped over 200 feet to punch an immortal dragon in the stomach and freefell over 400 feet into a river covered in a thick sheet of ice. That and I walked out with just one broken arm and a couple smashed ribs. Yeah…that makes sense.

When that was over, I stood up and walked over to the bag, opening it up. I stuck my hand and visualized Ruby. I pulled my hand, but it got stuck on something. Then my hand started getting pulled inside. Like a giant vacuum, my body seemed to morph into a small gelatin as the bag started pulling me in. I Shrank, my bones turned to mush, and I lost the ability to feel gravity, or breathe.

As I started contemplating my situation, my body seemed to materialized inside the bag. I fell for a grand total of…one eye blink. After which my back slammed into the hard grassy field that constituted as the ground. I lied there for a second or two, thinking about what just happened. In that second, I allowed myself to stare up at the sky. Beautiful light purple sky with white blue clouds drifted above us, with a giant black outlined hole in the sky of burning white. I guess that was the opening in the bag.

I sat up and looked around. I was on a giant beautiful plains land. Mountains seemed to stretch on towards the top. The grass ranged in all colors, from silver to gold, from pink to scarlet. From white to black. The grass was magnificent. This must be Ruby's garden, the world that she spent so much time in. Now I knew why. I stood up and started walking around. Ruby had to be in here somewhere.

I continued to walk around. There were no buildings, only tents set up. Each tent had something inside it. Some had canned goods, some had giant bags of gold coins, and even still, one was filled with all the potions Ruby had collected during our Nightcaller Temple raid. In a tent next to it was an alchemy lab with piles of papers that I assumed were lists of potion ingredients.

Looking to my right I could see another tent filled with nothing but gems. There were hundreds of them. Actually, looking around, I could see even more gems. The mountains themselves seemed to glitter with crystals that were embedded into their craftwork. My mouth dropped down to my feet as I started taking in what exactly was going on here. The entire plains were filled with jewelry and crystals.

I looked down and saw a deep blue sapphire sitting only inches away from my feet. I bent down and ran my fingers across the sapphire, surprised that it started shining back at me. Almost just as fast as I jumped up, a light started shining up back at me. I covered my eyes, shielding myself from the bright light. As the light cleared, I could clearly see a Bosmer-looking spirit standing inches away from me. It was a woman, younger than me, though. Maybe a teenager. She had light blue skin, long darker blue hair, hair that reached her feet. She wore a silk kimono and was holding a fan up to her face, obscuring her mouth. Her bright red eyes glared at me, angry.

"Who are you, and who permitted you to enter _our_ sanctuary?" The spirit said through her fan.

I leaned back. "I'm Lydia…and I'm a friend of Ruby's. What…or who are you?"

The spirit's eyelids arched in surprise and she seemed to relax. "Oh, you are Lady Lydia." She bowed to me. "Please forgive me. I am the Spirit Guardian over the Sapphires in this realm. I am Sapphira." She glanced back up at me. "Is there something you wish to see while you are here, Lady Lydia?"

I nodded. "Yes…I wish to talk to Ruby. Is she here?" I started looking around. I just met a crystal spirit. Ruby always went on and on about them, but I had never seen one in person. I guess there was just the one for each type of crystal in Ruby's possession.

Sapphira nodded to me, never taking her fan away from her mouth. "Why, yes Lady Ruby is within the realm." She paused for a second, her eyes darting around in frantic circles. "She is by the waterfront, dying her hair. Follow my glow and I'll light the way."

I was about to question her, but Sapphira disappeared. The sapphire she sprouted from started glowing brightly. A few seconds later, a sapphire from further away started glowing. And from there, I could see another one light up. I smiled as I found out where I was going. Time to see Ruby.

…

I smiled as I glanced at Ruby. She was dipping her head into the lake, wetting the mane on her head. She was rubbing something in her hair, something dark blue. Sitting a few feet from her was her old armor. I guess she was sprucing her armor up and washing her fur. That makes sense. We're not doing anything important today. I looked away, realizing that Ruby wasn't wearing her armor or any of her leather dresses. She was actually not wearing anything. I know she's covered in fur…but naked is naked.

"Lady Ruby…how is your hair coming?" Another spirit said. Reluctantly, I looked over to the spirit. It was another female, this one a yellow Altmer with flowing bright yellow hair. She wore a similar dress that Sapphira wore, but she did not carry any fan. No, she carried a short stick that she leaned on.

Ruby looked up at the spirit, smiling. "Oh…it's almost done, Citrina. Think I'll look good with a purple mane?"

"Oh, I think he'll love it." Citrina replied. "Why not ask him yourself?"

Ruby smiled deeper and I saw her tail flick. It was her tail sign of embarrassment. "What makes you think I'm doing this for him?"

Citrina crossed her arms. "I live in your sword with Amethy. The three of us resonate on a daily basis. If you think I cannot read your mind…you're mistaken." She looked up and over to me. She smiled, winked, and looked over at Ruby again. "So…where's your new dress?"

Ruby's face widened in joy…from what I could see. She grabbed a white dress that lied next to her and held it up. "Oh…it's done. Pure white, pure cotton. Pure beautiful. I can't wait to wear it on our wedding day." She said, hugging the dress close to her.

Citrina smiled deeper. I could see the mischief running in her mind. "Do you feel like reliving your simulation again, Lady Ruby?" She asked, all innocent and soft.

Ruby stood up and threw her dress on. "Sure…summon Jet." She threw a veil over her face just as a black Argonian materialized next to Ruby.

The Black Argonian bowed to Ruby, "You summoned me, Lady Ruby?"

Ruby seemed to glare at him. She tossed her head to the side. "You know better than to call me that when I'm in this dress, Maleek."

Jet, now being called Maleek, groaned out in public dismay. His dark black and blue scales morphed into the deep green scales with orange fur and orange skin tuffs. He looked just like Maleek now. "Yes…you…disgusting furball." The last words seemed like spitting poison out of his mouth. He did not enjoy playing this game with Ruby, which I was loving more and more by the second. I never got to see this side of her. "Simulation wedding, then?"

Ruby seemed to sigh with a bit of a lonely tone. "Sure…why not." She grabbed Jet by the arm and pulled him close. "Oh…Maleek, I missed you."

Jet seemed to nod slightly, putting on a completely genuine face. He pulled her in for a tight hug. "Hi, prissy furball. I sort of missed you too." Ruby seemed to smile from that. He pulled her away and glanced down at her dress, his eyes feigning a sparkling sensation of warmth. It was an expression that I've seen the real Maleek pull off when he tried to assassinate Asger. "Wow…that's a beautiful dress, Ruby. Did you make it yourself?"

Ruby nodded, jumping up slightly. "Yes. I wanted to look nice when I met you. And…I have this ring right here. I looked up Argonian traditions. Three stones, all flawless. I chose a Ruby, representing me; an Emerald, that represents you; and a in the center…a giant diamond, ageless, perfect." She placed the silver ring on Maleek's claw. "I was hoping that if you accepted this ring that…you'd accept staying with me for the rest of our lives."

Maleek seemed to glance down at the ring and sighed. "Ruby…I never knew that you liked me. I…don't know what to say." His words carried a mysterious tone.

Ruby seemed to be worried, throwing herself into Jet's chest. "I can't live without you!"

Jet nodded, wrapping her up. "I cannot live without you, either. You pathetic prissy arrogant smelly furry stone-hording furball."

She looked up at him. "And you're a smelly scaly flightless bird that lives in nasty smelling water."

The two of them pushed away from each other, already starting to glare at each other. I held my breath as the two of them stared each other down. I actually looked away long enough to laugh to myself. I held my stomach as I tried to hold down my laughter. The thought that Ruby was doing all this in her alone time just made me laugh. I _knew_ she liked Maleek…but to make her crystal spirits enact a love scene with her just to make her feel better about her illusions…well…I couldn't help but laugh. That and in her illusions…her confession of love still turned into a fight with Maleek. Wonderful.

I looked back out to the scene to see them still glaring at each other. Ruby's ear folded back all the sudden and her eyes puckered out. She dropped her combative stance and fell to her knees, covering her eyes as she started crying. "I have no one to fight with!" She screamed out loud.

Jet seemed to be taken aback by that. "If you take off your dress as so that you will not damage it, I will more than happy to fight with you, you disgusting filthy arrogant furball."

Ruby only pushed him away. "Jet…we're done with that now. You can change back."

Jet morphed back to the black Argonian with blue skin puffs. He bowed to her and said, "Did I do something wrong, Lady Ruby?"

She sat back down, taking the veil off her head. "No…it's just not the same." She looked down at her dress and she started taking it off gently, trying not to rip it with her claws. "I shouldn't wear this any more than I have to. I want it to be perfect for when I do…talk to him." She said as she placed the dress down onto the grass.

Jet pulled off the ring and handed it back to her. "I feel that you're becoming more believable by the minute, Lady Ruby. I know you're troubled by confronting this Maleek and these scenarios are nothing more than preparation. I am happy to assist in any way that I can."

Citrina looked down at the dress. "Shall I return the dress to its rack, Lady Ruby?"

Ruby only chuckled and shook her head. "And let you walk away with it? Citrina, we resonate all the time. I know you're as chaotic as my friend Asger." She looked over at Jet and said, "Jet…please just take my dress and hang it up with the others. Then come back. I wish to just…hang out with you for a while longer."

Jet bowed and grabbed the dress, disappearing. Citrina took this time to look over to me and said, "Oh, Lady Ruby. Sapphira told me a few minutes ago that Lady Lydia is inside your bag and wishes to talk to you."

"WHAT?" Ruby screamed, looking around frantically, covering as much of her body as she could. "Quick, get me something to wear!"

Citrina's arm extended and she was holding a bright yellow dress. Ruby took it and threw it over her body, relaxing somewhat once she had something on. "Ok, show her to me."

Citrina pointed over to me and said, "She's been watching you the whole time, Lady Ruby."

Ruby growled at her. "And you did not warn me?" Then her mouth parted. "You! You tricked me into doing the wedding simulation just to embarrass me!" She growled and threw a punch that traveled through Citrina. "Ooh…why do I always listen to you when you're smiling?"

Citrina smiled back. "Because I know you'll listen." She patted Ruby on the head in a mocking fashion. "Now, now. It's all in good fun, _Lady_ Ruby."

Ruby growled but looked over to me. "OK, LYDIA. I know you're out there."

I smiled sheepishly as I stood up and walked over to her. Ruby started fussing with her yellow dress, trying to keep her tail sticking down so it didn't lift it up.

As I finally stepped up, Ruby looked away from me, her face scrunched up in embarrassment and slight frustration. She glanced up at me for a second, looking away again. "How long were you watching?"

I smiled and patted her on the head. Ruby knocked my hand away, her face becoming even more puffed up with fur as it started standing on end. "I was here when you were dipping your hair in the water and started dying it purple." I said, looking at her plastered mane that stuck up in all directions. It was a very light lavender purple, one that looked very deep because it was still wet. I looked down at her again and said, "You know…you probably should have waited until your hair was done dying before you put your veil on. You probably stained it."

Ruby look dismayed for a second, forgetting about her initial embarrassment. She ran over to her veil and looked at the top. The whole top of it was blotched with purple berry juice. Ruby cried out in more frustration before tossing it aside. "Great…now I have to make a new one!" She looked over to me again, "So…what did _you_ want?"

I decided to not worsen this situation by telling her that I knew how she felt to Maleek, so I thought I'd just distract her with something else.

"Well, I was just bored and thought…hey, why not go see my daughter and see what she's up to? Then, I saw your beautiful dress and thought 'hey…I'm engaged to Asger and I have no dress.' So, I wonder who on Nirn that I know…that can create a wedding dress for me?" I said, leaning closer to Ruby.

Ruby's eyes glared over. She crossed her arms and looked back. "Yeah…speaking of that." Her eyes narrowed and her tail flicked. "Are you going to tell Maleek about what happened here?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't see a reason to. You obviously have some issues that you need to work out, and I'm here if you need help, but for the most part I'll just leave it to you."

Ruby's tail flicked and she stepped away. "Good. Let me deal with it." She turned back around, looking me up and down. "I think I can make you a beautiful dress. But more importantly than that…" she looked around and spread her arms out. "What do you think of my world?"

I looked around and nodded. "I love it. The grass runs in thousands of colors, crystals line every rock, you have your own little city here. You do know that you have enough here to actually made a decent living in Solitude, right?"

Ruby's smile returned, her eyes glittering with unspoken joy. She rushed into me, hugging me close. "I WANT TO GO TO SOLITUDE!"

I patted her on the head. "Once we're done with Whiterun. And before that…we still have this vampire to go find."

Ruby sighed and pulled away. "I know…but do we have to?"

"Yes…" A new voice called. There, standing a few feet away from us was Babette. She had a growing smile on her face. "So…you like an Argonian named Maleek." She looked up, rubbing her cheek. "You know…this is not the first time I've seen a Khajiit and an Argonian fall in love. I remember back during the Aedra Wars…"

"What!" I said, shaking my head. "Aedra Wars? You were alive back then?"

Babette nodded. "Oh yeah…but I was just starting out as a vampire back then. Bit by this perverted old man who wanted an immortal young girl to serve him. I killed him for it. Joined the Dark Brotherhood the next week…even though we were engulfed in war. Then…towns started blowing up, Aedra killing everyone. I joined the resistance, fought back…fought alongside your daughter…and figured…this must be important if she's here too. Thought I'd join up with her again. Just for old time's sake."

The entire paragraph of her introduction left me speechless. I did not know where to start. But Ruby did, "You saw me too?" She bent down and covered her face. "I don't know how much more of this I can take!" She looked up at both of us. "For now on…this is my private room. You knock before you enter. All you have to do is call into the bag… 'Ruby…I'm coming in'. GOT IT?"

We both nodded. Ruby was practically fuming. She nodded and said, "Ok, good."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Man that Ruby has a temper. Ok, next chapter things should be picking up again. OH...and Ruby is getting her own story after this one. For anyone who cares. It will have the same humor that this one has and there will be the same people running in and out...but it will all be in her perspective, not Lydia's. Thought I'd point that out._

_Oh...and HA! I thought that I'd do something special for the 40th chapter.. I guess a love confession that never reached the intended ears of the crushee is good enough._


	41. Ch 41: Surely, you jest

**Cearbhail:**_ Annd... back to the story. So, I guess I have nothing to say about this chapter, other than it involves dancing and music, and some very annoying jester. yes, the jester finally arrives. and you'll either hate what I've done to him or love it. Don't care, either way. but I think you'll enjoy this regardless. Maybe, not sure. Enjoy, or not._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_After seeing Ruby's girly side and meeting with Babette, we're finally ready to leave this tower. Babette talked to Isran for a couple hours, basically making him see her as 'not the ordinary vampire'. He still hates her to death, but I still think there is a fatherly side to him that feels somewhat protective of her. Anyway, he told Babette everything that he knew that was going on. His vampire, named Serana, had left on some adventure to find a Moth Priest. I guess we're leaving to find this Moth Priest now. I'm not entirely sure on what is going to happen, but Babette assures me that she 'knows people'. I'm worried._

_Well, I guess that's all I have to say. It's a very short journal entry, but that's how fast all this has happened. Oh, and apparently, we're going to Riften. Almost there actually. Should be arriving when I'm finished. I actually can't wait to see what it looks like now that Mjoll is in charge of it. Not to mention, I am kind of curious about the Thieves Guild and how well it's working now that Mercer is no longer controlling it and Karliah is. Should be fun, whatever the case._

_Lydia…_

…

"Ruby loves Maleek." Babette sang from the front of our carriage.

Ruby reached over to claw her, but missed by an inch. "We agreed…it never happened."

Babette nodded, making a zipping motion over her mouth. "Oh yes…of course. I won't tell him. Honestly…" Babette said, leaning forward, placing her head in her hands. "I think it's cute. I've known Maleek since he hatched…I know him better than anyone else. Did you know that he wanted me to turn him into a vampire just so that he wouldn't have to grow up?"

I rolled my eyes and looked down at her. "Really? That sounds about right."

Babette scoffed and shook her head. "I had to spank him and tell him about how much it _sucks_ to be stuck in such a tiny form. You never develop muscles, men never take you seriously. Well…normal men. Guards never take you seriously. You issue a death threat to your mark…they laugh. Until your eyes glow red and you show your fangs and claws at least. And then there is the whole…aging process that is denied to you. People around you continue to grow up and then…they die. It's a very sobering feeling. Your best friend dies of old age and you still look like a child. Makes it very easy to become cynical and used to dealing death."

I had to turn my head away. This story was becoming too sappy. "Sounds awful." That was the only reply that squeaked out of my mouth.

Ruby looked over at me, tears flowing from her eyes. "Can we keep her?"

Babette hissed out a reply. "I am not a pet!"

I smiled and looked down at Ruby. "You know…Asger asked me the same thing about you."

Ruby's tail flicked and she crossed her arms, turning away from me. "I'm not a pet."

Our carriage came to a stop, abruptly. I managed to keep myself still, but the lighter child-like people in my party were thrown off their seats.

I stood up and jumped off the carriage, already grabbing my sword. We weren't at Riften, yet. So…why did we stop?

I walked around to the front of the carriage to see…another carriage. A weird Imperial dressed in blood-red clown clothes was busy strumming a lute, singing an off-beat high-pitched song that was meant to be sung in a lower tone (based on the cords he was strumming).

I smacked my head, already knowing what was going to happen. It's a bard…why, oh why…do we keep bumping into bards?

I sighed as I walked up to the man, relaxing my hand off my sword. He's a bard…they're harmless. I waved to him and said, "Hey! Hey! Do you have any insurance? If so…we seem to have a fender-bender thing going on here." I shouted up at him.

He took little notice to me and then looked down at our carriages. His expression of pure anxiety poured through his face. He jumped off the top of his…giant crate…and landed in the ground. "My carriage…my _poor_ carriage." His words squeaked out in a very focused hissing high-pitched menacing manner. "Why have you assaulted poor…Cicero?" That last word hissed out in the longest string yet. He looked at his crate, noticing a small nudge. "Cicero's cargo is damaged…poor Night Mother…Don't worry, mother…Cicero will protect you…" He turned to face me, his eyes becoming sharp.

I stepped back to grab my sword, but then, Cicero seemed have something else in mind. He leaned forward, spreading his arms out, taking a sharp breath in to puff out his chest. I almost let out a loud breath as I realized what was going to happen. He was going to bard battle me. Like HELL that was going to happen.

He started glaring at me and I just stood there, arching my eyebrow at him. "Really? You're going to do this? Really?"

Cicero did not answer. He just continued staring at me, his arms still spread out. "Feel Cicero's hatred pouring down through your…ssoouulll." Shivers went down my back at the word soul. Not form any mystical crap…but just the way he said it.

"What is going on down there!" Babette called and leaned over the top of our carriage, looking down at me. She gasped(fake) and dived back in. "Ruby…bard. Battling Lydia. She needs help…a bard. SHE NEEDS _YOU_."

Just like that…a cloud started pouring from the carriage. I heard a light flute playing over the back. It was enough to distract Cicero from me. The light tune started picking up and a body started forming in the deep clouded mist that covered the whole carriage.

Cicero put his arms down, smirking now. "Ooh…dramatic entrance. Cicero likes.."

_What are you, a Khajiit?_ I thought to myself. I looked at the entrance to the mist and saw Ruby walking out, her eyes closed and focused on her flute. She played the last note and opened her eyes slowly, looking up at Cicero. She patted her chest a few times and slapped her leg.

Cicero nodded, patting his chest in reply, slapping two legs, and then threw himself into a front flip, clicking his heels in mid-air. He landed gracefully, clapping his hands upon landing.

Ruby grabbed her side in faked pain. She seemed to growl and stood back up, bringing the flute to her lips. Cicero smiled and grabbed his lute. Great…music battle. I rolled my eyes and stepped away. I did not have to see this.

…

Minutes passed before all the music and explosions finished. Oh yeah…they used magic to create explosions to express more 'dramatic tension' with their bard battling. I cannot believe that this was a thing all of the sudden. It never happened before, but I guess Ruby was damn good at it.

Ruby walked up, her armor half destroyed and limping. She glanced up at me and smiled. "I won." She said with a mystical glint in her eyes. "I WON! My first bard battle and I won!"

"Wow..." I replied in a slightly impressed manner. "I did not know that there was something to lose. All you did was play a flute."

"No, Lydia." Ruby said, straightening her lavender mane. "I held the universe still as my flute and my dance aligned the stares in my favor."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Whatever. What happened to Cicero?"

She pointed back and so I directed my gaze. He lied there on the ground, tongue sticking out, his body spread out like he was playing dead. "Too much awesomeness. He couldn't handle me. Kinda like that one time in prison camp…"

"NO!" I screamed to her. "Not going to go there, Ruby. Jeez…" I said, stepping away from her and over to Cicero.

He was still lying on his back, his eyes blanked out. I kicked his boot, trying to stir him. "Ok…get up. Game's over. You two bards fought…I'm sure we're all impressed at your dramatic playing dead. Time to get up now. We're wasting daylight."

Cicero finally snapped awake, looking at me. "Why do bad things happen to Cicero?"

"Because Cicero talks like an idiot and is battles like one as well." I answered to him. I stuck out my hand to help him up. "Now come on, get up. You lost your fight so as your bardic duty: you have to do as we say. Get on your carriage and get out of our way. We're on a tight schedule, tighter now that we've had to waste time humoring _you_."

Cicero scoffed as a reply but pushed himself up. "Cicero knows some people who would not like the tone you take with him. It would be unfortunate if Cicero would have to tell them about what happened here."

"Oh really?" Babette called from the front. She walked around from the side, her arms crossed, and with her bright yellow irises glaring right at him. She smiled through her teeth and said, "I'm sure _your_ people can't beat _my_ people."

Cicero smirked. "Does the un-child represent the Lollypop Guild or the Vamps-R-us? Because Cicero represents a much…darker organization."

Babette only smirked back. "I assure you, I am no child. And I represent no vampires nor any guild built around candy…although I'd like to. I have two very sweet teeth that just love sweet stuff." She said, drawing a knife. "No…I represent a guild built around murder. You insult me, you insult the Dark Brotherhood."

Cicero seemed to smile happily. "Oh, Cicero is so happy. Finally, he has found the Dark Brotherhood." He danced around, clapping his hands in delight.

I stood there, watching him dance. This really was a very creepy fellow. Then, he looked over at me and bowed, grabbing my hand and kissing it with his nasty lips. I wanted to vomit. He looked up at me, nodding a welcome. "You must be the Speaker. Please listen to poor poor Cicero. He is the Keeper of the Night Mother."

I looked over to Babette and arched my eyebrows. "Yes…of course. The Night Mother…Of course I know what"

"WHO!" Cicero screamed at me.

"Right…who that is. That was a test, Cicero. … And you passed." I patted him on the head, getting a boyish grin in return. I looked back at Babette and said, "Um…Babette, come over here and direct our new friend to…_our_ home, so he can get off these streets for good."

Babette nodded and walked over to us. She glared at Cicero and said, "So, you're the keeper my master has been expecting…eight months ago."

Cicero smiled and shrugged. "Cicero got lost. Then Cicero met this nice skinny Nord who taught Cicero how to play a lute. Then, Cicero joined the Bard's College, learning how to battle bardly."

Babette silenced him by shoving her hand in his face. "Enough! Well, we're at the Falkreath Sanctuary. West of the town, under the bridge. You'll see it once you get there."

Cicero bowed to her and said, "Oh, thank you, thank you, little un-child."

…

So, when all that was done and done, we got back in our carriage and went a whole…ten feet before arriving at Riften's gates. When we did so, a guard approached us. "Hold. You're approaching Riften."

I crossed my arms. "And if we want to enter, we must pay a fine…"

The guard looked confused. "What? No! Nothing like that ma'am. We're just here to make sure that everyone gets one of these." He held out a child's firecracker. "It's a celebration today, ma'am. It's Guard Captain Mjoll's birthday. Don't tell her that we're setting up the celebration. She's completely blind to it." He said, opening the gate. "Please, go on inside."

I walked into the town, expecting it to look either better or worse than it did than when we left. It did look different. The plants that blotted around the buildings and gardens looked healthier. The grass looked like grass. The ground looked clean-ish. How can ground ever look clean was beyond me. The buildings still looked ugly, but cleaner.

We walked further into the town, visiting the vending stalls. I was looking for one particular person. Brynjolf. Last I saw him, he was tossed into a building. He was some sort of recruiting agent of the Thieves Guild. If anyone had information, it was either him or Karliah. I was sure of it. The shopping stalls seemed to be doing better, but I wasn't sure if that was just a façade or if it was genuine.

I looked up at Brynjolf, who noticed me. He smiled briefly before leaning against his cart. His forehead still looked bruised from where Mjoll flicked him.

"Well, well, well. I did not expect to see you coming into town, lass." He looked down at Babette. "Hello, Babette." Then he looked over at Ruby. He scanned her and smiled. "Why, hello. I notice you have an everbag. I wager that bag is filled with all sorts of trinkets and goodies."

Ruby pulled her bag closer. "What of it?"

Brynjolf held his hands up submissively. "Whoa, whoa. Not going to steal it, lassie. I was just going to…offer you a challenge. An…opportunity, if you will."

Ruby smiled ear-to-ear. "You mean to say…a job?" She looked up at me, her eyes puckering up. "Please, Lydia?"

I groaned out an answer. "Sure…why not." I looked up at Brynjolf. "And in return for her services, you offer us information."

Brynjolf looked over to me. "Well, for helping Karliah secure the Thieves Guild, I would tell you anything that you would want to know." He looked down at Ruby and smiled. "But…this cat seems like a good investment for my guild." He handed her a note and said, "This is really simple. Just plant this note in Mjoll's pocket. That's it."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, getting payback for what Mjoll did to you?"

He arched his eyebrows at me. "Payback?" His eyes flashed with knowing. "Oh…you mean that day. I was in on it. Mjoll is not the only person Karliah talked to. I did not want to be in Mercer's hit list if Mjoll failed to…take him away. It was for the good of the guild, as well as this town. Now, all of Riften is under our protection. Stores profit from our profit and this town is getting in good shape." He pointed at the note and said, "Today is Mjoll's birthday, I'm sure you were told. Now…that note describes a situation needed on the docks. She'll arrive, all pent up and ready to fight some necromancer…and then…surprise." He smiled and leaned back.

Ruby smiled at the note. "And if I don't get detected planting the note?"

"You join our guild." Brynjolf said.

"And if she fails?" I asked.

Brynjolf smiled sheepishly. "You tell me lass. What does Mjoll hate the most?"

I swallowed hard. Mjoll never let her guard down and she hated pickpockets. I looked over at Ruby and said, "You better do this good, or you're dead, literally."

Ruby smiled and chuckled. "Oh…I have a plan."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: yay, I just hit 200 pages on the doc I used to write this story. YAY. and yes, next chapter will be all about Mjoll and the attempted raid on her. Unfortunately, I have to break a rule here. This is the Chronicles of Lydia, so...It has to be done in Ruby's perspective. Maybe a bonus chapter? You know, not part of the official story but there in the story. Like a cameo thing. Anyway, let me know what you think of that or I'll just make it work in Lydia's perspective instead._


	42. Ch 42: Surprise?

**Cearbhail:**_ Alright, a new chapter. Done in the perspective of Ruby. Now, this will be the only one for this book, hopefully, but I might do one chapter for every character just to make it fair. But I will admit, I had so much fun that I have decided that her book will happen now. and if you want to know just what it will be like, this chapter will be a taste of what could happen. Mostly it will be about bards, though. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. Oh...and surprise guest._

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_Lydia has allowed me to write in her journal this one time. So, I better do this right. Uh…hmm…this is hard. I don't know what to write. Why did I write the uhhs and hmms? Whatever, doesn't matter. This is a very nice journal, very big, very spacious. I should get my own and start writing in it like Lydia does. Maybe make a shadow journal, a notebook filled with all my spells and special crystal incantations. Trying to remember them all is bothersome._

_Oh my gods…I loved fighting that clowny-looking person earlier today. The heat of the smoke at my back, my lungs burning as I blasted him away with my music, the epic clash of all that makes up our beings clashing harmoniously against the other, trying to push the other down and stomp on it into the ground until there's nothing left but a smoking pile of Thalmor piss. It was awesome. Lydia just doesn't understand how much fun it is to be a bard. The freedom and excitement that comes from playing instruments, singing to crowds, being allowed to be goofy and nonconforming to society's standards. Not to mention our unique style of battling. No one can compare to us. We don't attack the body, we attack the soul. So much cleaner and the person never dies. Lydia could never be a bard, though. She's just too….serious. I wish she'd loosen up some, but I guess it wouldn't be as much fun if we didn't have someone to gawk at us every time we did something stupid._

_Oh, I guess I should begin contemplating my plan. When I told Lydia that I had a plan for how I was going to sneak a note into Mjoll's pocket…I wasn't lying, but I wasn't exactly telling the truth either. I'll think of something. I mean, the overall objective is to get Mjoll to the docks. Whether or not she gets the note is not important to me. What is important is that Brynjolf told me to do it. He wants me to put it in her pocket, just to see if I can pull it off. I won't let him down. I will get that note in her pocket, even if I have to cut off my arm and shove it down her throat just to distract her first. Wow…that was quite the image.._

_Ruby…_

…

I smirked as I tossed Lydia's journal back to her. She looked surprised as it came flying up to her face. She did that thing where she tossed her hair to the side as she opened her journal and became the living statue. I stood there watching her stand there. She read the journal entry quickly enough to where I saw her frown in her trademark 'Why is this happening' frown.

"I am not too serious." Lydia said, snapping the journal closed. "but you bards are stupid most of the time."

My tail twitched. It does that when I hear something that bothers me or excites me. It was an emotional tick. We were not stupid, we were overly dramatic with a sense of fun and goofiness. It was healthy. My mind started drifting away, thinking about my Crystal spirit Jetvan. He was the spirit for all my jet crystals inside my bag. He only existed inside physically inside that bag since I made the rules for that universe when I created it. If I held onto a jet though, I could synchronize with him in my mind and pull us both into an astral universe, not unlike the one in my bag. Spirits did not openly exist in our realm, but in the astral realms. There were ways to break that rule, though. I was still looking for one that involved crystals.

My nose twitched as I picked up a new scent. I could smell a foul odder from behind my back. It was amazing what I could smell. Esbern smelled like mothballs and old man. Delphine smelled like lavender and leather. Lydia smelled like boring. Cecilie smelled like…well, magicka. Magicka itself had some interesting smells. Frost smelled like mint, shock smelled like a sock that was rubbed against the carpet for too long, fire smelled like the Novapenyo pepper (yes, it still exists), air magicka smelled like daisies (sometimes farts too), and healing magic smelled like angel food cake…yum. The only disgusting smelling magics were the Destruction set of corroding and damage health, and Conjuration magic. It smelled like sulfur and someone with really bad gas every time you summon something, even those swords. Yuck…I can never set that smell off my hands.

"Ruby? Are you listening?" Lydia said to me.

I nodded, digging a claw though my ear. I had some sort of flea or tick that kept biting me. I wanted it gone. "Uh-huh. Sure. Wasn't it something about honey?"

She gave me that blank stare that told me that whatever I had just said was not in fact the subject of our conversation. "No…I was saying that I will meet you down by the docks. I wanted Babette to go with you, but she's disappeared. Said something about an orphanage that she needed to visit." Lydia shrugged. "Maybe she's putting herself up for adoption?"

My stomach started to growl, reminding me that I was hungry. I wondered what I should eat today. Pancakes were always good, with fresh honey syrup. That brought a smile on my face. The image of me sneezing across the table and seeing that disgusted and shocked face of Lydia as she screamed in horror and ran off. It always made me laugh. Sure, I loved honey and it made me feel good, even though my body seemed to hate it. Sometimes you just got to take the pain if you want to enjoy life.

I glanced back up at Lydia, who looked confused. "What's so funny, Ruby?"

I shrugged, grabbing my mane. "Just happy with my new mane. Lavender is such a nice color with my burnt-orange fur." _Not to mention I still have a honey-nut treat. I bet I could use that to distract Mjoll just fine._ The thought entered my mind and I started running simulations. I would walk up to the captain of the guard, feigning a stomach ache. I would sneeze out, she would react and in that split second where she would have her eyes closed and begin screaming, I would sneak that note into the back of her pocket and resume my sick act just to keep her suspicions low.

I smiled up at Lydia, saying, "I know what I'm going to do. I'll see you at the docks, Lydia."

She waved me off and turned around, her Blades armor clanking with every step she took. I could never wear armor like that. I had fur and when you have fur with metal that pinches, you get your fur pulled off and jerked. It was a painful experience. So, I had to stick to lighter things. It was hard enough to make studded armor, but to attach plates that did not pull on my fur was harder. I had to make sure the plates sat perfect on the leather and then attach them to the armor with leather strips that had been sown into the fabric. It took me weeks to make this armor. But, it was worth it. It was my prototype armor: Obsidian/malachite armor. It helped me resonate with my blade and it was the first working crystal armor that I've ever attempted. Not to mention the dark green sheen that almost looked black was lovely to look at in the sunlight.

I started to walk away, but a hand found its way onto my shoulder. I could smell mead and an overdose of clover breath as I started to turn around. Brynjolf, the kind Nord who was giving me an assignment to join the Thieves Guild, nodded to me. "All eyes are on you lass, don't muck this up."

His thick accent reminded of this Breton I once saw in Hammerfell. He was wearing this plaid skirt and played some instrument that had a bunch of needle looking flutes sticking out of a bag and he danced using only his feet. Was this guy from the same region? If so…where was his skirt? I nodded to him, allowing a quick smile. "I know how I'm going to do this. So, who is this Mjoll?"

Brynjolf smiled deeper. "Ah, forgot you're new. She'll be the tough-looking woman with half her face covered in blue war paint. Not to mention the ground shakes whenever she's nearby."

I nodded, picturing a giant woman with flames pouring out of her mouth. She was stomping on the ground, crushing people underneath her. "Uh-huh. I think I know what to look for now." _Oh man…how can I sneeze onto that thing? Maybe I need a trip wire? What would I attach it to, buildings? She'll just pull them off the ground and then crush the city._ I shook the thought out of my head. She couldn't be that bad.

Brynjolf patted me on the head. "Just take care lass, and don't let her flick you. She brought down a whole building by just flicking me with her middle finger. Sent me right through a wall, she did."

I swallowed hard, that image of a giant fire-breathing woman replaced with a giant woman with a huge middle finger that would flick my head off if I approached her and then stomped me flat with her huge giant feet. "I don't wanna smell like nasty feet." I cried out, a little louder than I hoped for.

Brynjolf's eyebrows shot up in surprise to my comment, but he patted me on the head anyway. "Just come see me once you've completed your task. I'll have eyes watching you, to make you did it right. Remember, note in her pocket first, without her noticing. After that, I don't care what you do. You can tell her to check her pockets for all I care. She might react to that though, so I advise you saying that there was an issue on the docks. Just to be sure." He turned around and started walking away. "Oh, and don't call her 'Thunder Thighs'. She might just kill you if you do."

Now, it was my time to shine. I started looking around the street market for any signs of the giant woman with thundering footsteps. At first I didn't see anything. Just people going about their business, shopping, buying beautiful stuff…shiny stuff. Stuff that would nice on my finger, around my neck, on top of my head…maybe as an earring. I shook my head clear as I looked around. I could not steal here. This was Riften and if I heard correctly, it was the home of the Thieves Guild. The entire town was protected from theft and I was not about to make enemies with my greatest allies. Even though that circlet with shiny blue moonstones was calling out to me.

I found my feet shuffling over to the jewelry cart, my head just barely high enough to see inside the display case. The Argonian there looked down at me while he stood there, shining a beautiful amethyst in his hand. He glanced down at me and smiled. "Well, don't see many Khajiit children these days. Part of the caravan that comes to trade? Did you lose your parents?"

Khajiits were allowed in Riften? I was starting to forget why I wanted to move to Solitude already. Oh…right…Bard's College and the opportunity to start my own guild. That was why. I looked at the shiny silver circlet, the shiny moonstones reflecting off my eyes. "How much for the circlet?"

He glanced down at the circlet and shrugged. "Actually, we like to barter here. If you have something worth trading, I'll be willing to trade my circlet away."

I pulled off my bag and stuck my hand inside. I visualized one of my moonstone necklaces. I liked the necklace, it would match the circlet, but for some reason the moonstone rejected my programming. I couldn't really use it for anything so I was better off trading it for the circlet. I pulled the moonstone necklace out of my bag and handed it to the Argonian.

He took it from me and glanced it over. "Huh, doesn't seem like much a fair trade. Do you have something to add to it to even it out?"

I frowned as I reached into my bag and pulled out a copper/ruby circlet. I wanted to wear this one on my head, but it just looked overly red with my orange fur. It blended too well and actually looked worse for it. I wanted sharpness, something to catch people's eyes. That moonstone circlet would do just that.

I handed the circlet over to the Argonian, seeing his mouth almost drop. "The rubies in this circlet are…flawless. Are you sure you wish to trade this?" He started to pass the circlet back to me, but I pushed it to him.

"I have ten of those, but I don't have a moonstone yet." I said, my voice high-pitched.

I saw the Argonian struggle with accepting the circlet and the necklace. He handed me back my necklace and said, "This will be enough. A circlet for a circlet." He handed me the moonstone and rubbed the top of my head. "That will look nice with your purple hair."

"It's a mane." I called back, calmly and eloquently. Not that it insulted me to have my mane called 'hair' but that would be like calling his feathers 'fur'. He'd correct me too. I placed the circlet over my brow and stepped back. "How do I look?"

He nodded, smiling. "With your blue eyes, the blue/purple moonstones, and you purple mane…you look impressive."

I smiled and waved goodbye as I stepped away. Now that I got that out of my system and got the approval of an Argonian on how 'impressive' I looked, I was ready to find Maleek and hand him the ring. I still had a dress to craft for Lydia, something that I would have to work on later, probably after the party. It was a birthday with a serious surprise. There had to at least be cake. If not, I would be mad.

I started looking around the town, trying to find some indication of the Mjoll. After spending minutes of walking around in circles, bumping into the taller people who, for once in their lives, ignored my presence, I found myself sitting down on the lower levels of the town, sticking my feet into the river. My feet were starting to hurt from all the pushing and shoving I had to do to get past all the Nords. This town during rush hour sucked.

"You look upset. Did someone steal your sweetroll?" A sweet and lovely voice called from over my shoulder.

I sort of chuckled and pounded my fist into the other. "No, if I had a sweetroll, no one _could_ take it from me." I looked over my shoulder and looked at the person standing behind me. It was a tall Nord woman with blue war paint covering the left side of her face. My mouth was left gaped open as the woman stuck her hand out and grabbed me.

"I like your attitude, young Khajiit. I see a certain fire in your eyes." She said. She helped me up and looked down at my feet. "Been walking barefoot for a while, I see. Why not wear shoes?"

I looked down at my feet, wondering when I had actually lost my sandals. "Um…I lost them?"

She nodded, "Right, _lost_. Well, anyway. I'm the guard captain of this town. My name is Mjoll. If you suddenly remember where your shoes went…and whoever might have recovered them, please let me know. I'll get them back for you." She started walking away and turned around winking at me, "I'll get them back the same way you'd keep people away from your sweetroll."

I watched as she walked away. So, that was my target. Now that I knew who she was, I just had to sneak up and plant the note on her person. Scanning all possible stuffing points, I could see that the best option would be that back pouch. I get the note would fit lovely back there.

I started catching up with her, already reaching for my secret weapon: my honey-nut treat. I shoved the treat into my mouth, my saliva already doubling in anticipation of something nutty and sweet. I paused for a second and just enjoyed the first bite. I was lost in heaven. Then I allowed myself to come back down to nirn.

I ran up to Mjoll, already she seemed to notice me approach. She turned to look at me, her face still friendly and caring. I could already feel the nose and my stomach reacting to the honey churning inside it. As always, I had honey stuck in my throat and the smell of it was running up into my nose, where not only the chemical made my sinuses flood, but also made my nose itch very painfully.

Mjoll saw my pained expression and she bent down to look at me. "What's the matter, cub? You look green. Are you…"

_"Blew!"_

It was such a hard sneeze that I was actually lifted off my feet. I flew off the wooden planks and found myself crashing into the river. Through my watery eyes, I could see that Mjoll did not have it any easier. She stumbled back and stepped off the walkway, falling in as well.

As I resurfaced and caught my breath, grabbing onto the walkway and pulling myself up, the same thought kept crawling into my head. _Crap…some birthday she's having._ I hoped that she was ok, more than that, I hoped she wasn't angry that I Snot Thu'umed her. Yes, I turned thu'um into a verb. To thu'um: an act of Shouting that results in some sort of action that is not normal. My sneeze was definitely a Shout and strong enough to knock everyone in front of me down.

Mjoll was already breaking the surface, wiping her face off and glancing over to me. "What by the great goddess Mara was that?" She said, looking over to me.

I tried to smile sheepishly at her and said, "I sneezed?"

Mjoll started pulling herself out of the water. "That…was no sneeze. That was something far worse." She said, shaking her head. She smiled and started laughing. "But that surprising, to say the least." She walked over to me and started pulling kelp off my armor. "Oh my, you're covered in kelp. Here, hold still." She said as she started pulling kelp off my body.

That's when a candle lit over my head. I just had a great idea. Mjoll finished plucking kelp off me and turned around to walk away. As she turned around, I let out a surprised gasp. "Oh…you have some kelp on your back, here let me get that for you." I said sweetly and walked up to her back.

Mjoll looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Thanks, Khajiit. This armor keeps me from reaching back there. Just let me know when you're done."

I silently pulled a piece of kelp off my arm and dropped it on her pouch. I reached and grabbed the piece of kelp and while pulling it off, slipped the note into her pouch. I tapped her on the arm and she turned around, seeing only the kelp that I just pulled off. I tossed it into the lake and wiped my soaked fingers off on my armor. I think I had some kelp in my mouth. The thought made my stomach turn but I wisely looked away from Mjoll before I blew something else out my mouth.

She looked concerned for a moment before patting me on the back. "There, there. Let it out." She looked out to the river. "I should have warned you that the river was polluted. Must have swallowed too much of the water. Here, I have some pills for stomach aches." She reached into her pocket and her hand brushed against the note. I heard it shift. "What…what is this?" She mumbled to herself as she pulled the note out of her pocket.

"Dear Thunder Thighs…" Mjoll said, deadpanned. "Oh boy…" She started. She opened the note up and glanced inside. "Tip from Brynjolf, there has been reports of necromancers experimenting on little puppies. They hate flowers and have no fashion decency. They have made their evil lair on the docks, just outside the secondary gate. They can blind you just by flashing their junk in your face…so wear a blindfold and just 'wing it'. Thought you should know…Brynjolf."

Mjoll crumpled the note in her hands. "Hurt puppies?" She started fuming. "I'll kill those bastards!" She screamed and took off, leaving me to throw up into the already polluted river.

I heard someone chuckle from above. Another Khajiit, young like me, dropped from the upper level. I caught a look at him before I heaved over the side of the deck again. He was small, like me, but he had dark gray fur and a longer head. He had his black mane pulled back into a tight cat-tail. He smiled at me and stuck his hand out. "Name's Pantu. Brynjolf wanted me to watch you and congratulate you on your victory. Glad to see you could pull it off. Good trick with the whole playing sick and sneezing in her face." He started hissing out in laughter. He patted me on the shoulder and winked. "Well, anyway. Welcome to the Thieves Guild. I'll pass on my report to Brynjolf after the ceremony. You on the other hand…should come join the party and enjoy some cake."

I nodded, my stomach finally cooling down. "Yeah, that sounds fun. Just…let me dry off first."

His smile widened. "I thought I heard you correctly. You don't speak in third person. Are you from the southern tribe?"

I shook my head. "No tribe. I was raised by Redguards. What about you?" I asked to him.

He seemed to consider it. "It's amazing. When you just travel on your own…and you're around regular people instead of our kind…you tend to just speak like them. I've been on the caravan for years. My family just started…talking normally to be more approachable by the other races. They treat us different because we talk different." He shrugged and started walking away. "Well, I'll see you at the party…right?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure. See you there."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Hmm...new love interest maybe? perhaps. Doubtful. It's not like I'm going to have two Khajiit teenagers running around in the same group. Gotta keep it individualized somehow. But he'll pop up every once in a while, perhaps. We'll see._


	43. Ch 43: Party!

**Cearbhail:**_ A good chapter, a little wordy and not enough with the action, but good. Almost didn't do anything overly special until something smacked me in the back of the head towards the end of the chapter. I'm sure you'll get a 'kick' out of it, I know someone did._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I wish I knew what was going on other than I had spent the past hour just…waiting at the docks. I was surprised at the number of Argonian dock workers and Khajiits wandering around. Apparently they are free to live here now since the Empire took this town over. If that's true…maybe Solitude will welcome our friends with greater ease than I thought._

_Anyway, we're still waiting for Mjoll…_

My eyes were ripped from my journal as the gate leading to the city suddenly flew open. There, with her sword out, her eyes covered with a black cloth, was a fuming Mjoll.

"Ok you flashing flesh-walkers! Step out here and meet your circumcision." She screamed, swinging her sword around.

Everyone at the party had already created enough space just in case she did bust through the gate originally. It was very like Mjoll to not only use too much excessive force, but to destroy a whole building doing it.

_"SURPRISE!"_

The loud roar of everyone made Mjoll spin on her heels, looking around frantically. She finally smiled and lowered her sword, plucking off the blindfold that covered her eyes. Then she sheathed her sword and crossed her arms.

Everyone pulled the trigger on their special firecracker. I had almost forgotten but I pulled it just a second after everyone else. There was a light spark spell that flew out in a thousand different colors followed by a small puff of sparkles and colored paper. It was very colorful and childish. Streamers flew from the explosion, flying over to Mjoll. She smiled and laughed in a manly way as the streamers flooded over her in an over-exaggerated wave of color and paper.

"Ok, ok." She said, pushing the streamers off her. "You got me. I was hoping you'd all forget." She looked over at me and her eyes suddenly became lively. "Lydia! You're here?" She said, walking up to me. She spread her arms out for a hug. "Come here, let me crush your spine in welcome."

_You would, wouldn't you?_ I thought as I stood there. She wrapped her arms around me and just….squeezed. I felt like my soul was being pushed outside my body as she hugged me in welcome. The world spun around and I felt that hard to reach bone at the bottom of my spine crack. A wave of pain followed by sudden relief washed over my body. Man…she needed to do that more; I had been trying to crack that for days now.

"What brings you to Riften, Lydia? Here to see how much the town has changed since the Empire took control of it?" She asked me, pulling me away from the hug. I had never felt so much relief from being released from a hug.

"Sort of." I said. "The town does look nice and I love what you did with it, but we're here on business, just like last time."

"Oh?" Mjoll said, stepping back and crossing her arms. "Please tell me that you're not taking the town over again. I like my post."

"Nothing like that, I assure you." I said. "We're looking for a va…" For some reason, I decided to keep the word 'vampire' to myself. Mjoll may have been a friend of mine…but she was still a very honorable person, if not a little extreme in her ways. "A woman by the name 'Serana'."

"Oh, the vampire?" She asked. "She was in town earlier, but I'd ask Brynjolf instead. He knows all about her. Wink, wink." Then she 'nudged, nudged' me. I felt my shoulder dislocate twice.

Brynjolf chuckled as he walked up. "Well, I do have a way with the ladies, don't I, Mjoll?"

Just as Brynjolf put his arm on her shoulder, she launched her hand out and contacted with his stomach. Brynjolf cried out in minor pain. Brynjolf doubled over and fell to his knees. "What was that for?" He coughed out.

"Calling me 'Thunder Thighs'. And using my hatred of flashers and hurting puppies against me. Not to mention that poor cat who went through all that trouble to sneak a note in my pocket. Someone stole her sandals, you know." Mjoll replied, helping Brynjolf back onto his feel.

Brynjolf seemed to laugh to himself, although I could see the pan in his eyes. "So, she performed wonderfully then. Good for her." He said, brushing his stomach in slight pain. "Sorry about her sandals, though. I'll get her some nice boots that will look nice."

I started looking around. I half expected to see either Babette or Ruby by now. This was the sort of thing children just loved coming to. Well, Babette was older than I'll ever be, so I guess she's pass this up, but not Ruby. This was right up her alley. Candy, cake, and people walking around with their pockets filled with stuff.

"Hey, lass." Brynjolf called out to me.

I looked back at him. He was standing there, pointing out at something. I followed his finger and saw Ruby. She wasn't in her armor, but in some sort of leather dress that had been dyed a light blue. Yeah, that was like her. I saw a new circlet sitting upon her brow and I face-palmed. I really hoped she didn't steal that. It looked expensive.

I looked over to Brynjolf and raised my hands in submissive defeat. "It's ok. I'll pay for it."

"What?" Brynjolf said. "No, not that, lass. Look again. I think our little Ruby has a new friend."

So, I turned around and looked again. Ruby was standing there, talking to…another Khajiit. He looked about her size, but more built with muscle and not as skinny as her. I'm guessing it had to be a male. The fact that he only wore pants told me that I had to be somewhat accurate. "Who is that?" I asked Brynjolf.

Brynjolf smiled. "Just a thief, like myself. Good kid, good sense of morals."

_Morals? He's a thief_. I thought to myself.

I guess Brynjolf guessed what was going on inside my eyes because he crossed his arms. "Sticks and stones, lass. Last I checked, you're racking up a lot of points on the murder sin." He shrugged and pointed back to the Khajiit. "His name is Pantu. Sound familiar, yet? Yes? Because he's from one of the last panther clans. The quick and agile hunters of the tropical forests of Elsweyr. Make good thieves too."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked Brynjolf.

Brynjolf smiled. "Because he's going with you."

I face-palmed again. "No…he is not! I am not having another…" I suddenly found my voice lost. Another what? Another Khajiit? That sounded more racist than I had originally intended. "Why?"

Brynjolf shrugged again. "Ruby is now in the guild. She needs someone to show her the ropes…and how to tie them properly. Besides…" He said, walking up to me. "You wanted information. I am guessing you have a quarry to chase, someone who needs to be found. Pantu is a great stalker, one of the best the guild has to offer."

I finally let my breath escape. "I don't know if this is a good idea. I mean…two teenage Khajiits…together. That sounds like trouble to me."

Brynjolf nodded. "Oh, aye. It will be trouble, lass. Mark my words, but this will only be until whoever you're looking for is found. He will report back to me and tell me what happened. And he'll bring back anything he finds worthy of repossessing. It's a good trade-off for both of us, don't you think?" Brynjolf stuck out his hand, expecting me to shake on his agreement. I guess I really didn't have a choice if I wanted his information on where Serana went.

I took his handshake and sighed heavily. "Fine…whatever. So, I'm looking for Serana."

Brynjolf's eyes didn't betray any feeling of surprise. "I know, lass. She was here, asking questions about a moth priest."

"Moth priest?" I said. "Hold on, let me clean out my ears." I took a page out of Ruby's book and started running my finger through my ear. "Ok…let's try this again. What?"

Brynjolf tried to conceal a surprised laugh. "You're starting to lose it, lass. Around crazies too long?" He shrugged, his face filled with laughter. "Your vampire came here looking for a moth priest. I told her that from what I heard, he was last seen at Dragon Bridge. So, I'd wager that going up to Dragon Bridge will lead you to the vampire. But…do you even know what she looks like?"

I shook my head. "No, not really."

"Faded skin, wearing a black corset with a large dark red shirt. Oh…and her eyes glow yellow. Black hair, shoulder-length, and has a giant scroll on her back. Easy to spot. She looks like regality really." He finished. "Oh and then there's her melons. Big and firm. Oh and one more thing. She wears a cape. Probably the only person other than the Thalmor who does."

I shook my head. "Wow, black hair, pale skin. Sounds like…"

"You, lass? Yes, I wondered if you were a vampire upon our first meeting." Brynjolf crossed his arms and snickered. "Well, there you have it. Now…I suggest you take your company and leave. Nothing against having you here, but thieves know when time is of the essence. You may replenish your stock of food, it will be a long journey. Oh…and one more thing, lass." He pulled me in. I thought he was going to either whisper or kiss me, but I was going to hate it either way. His breath reeked of garlic and clovers. "Your little vampire friend has gone and killed an old lady. Lucky for you…no one liked her. Be careful of her, she's an assassin, but I'm sure you already know that. And while I won't tell Mjoll what I know…if she finds out I can't stop her from sending guards out to collect her."

He pulled me away and kissed me on the cheek. "Good luck, lass. The way you're heading, I can tell you have a massive journey ahead of you." Then he looked down at my journal hanging only a few inches away from my hips.

"Yoink." He said as he grabbed it and pulled it away from me. I tried to reach for it, but he halted me with one of his hands.

"Brynjolf, I can crush you now." I said, "I'm as strong as Mjoll."

Brynjolf smiled. "Oh, stop with the foreplay, lass. This will only take a second."

…

_Ok, lass. Here's the deal. I am leaving instructions for both you and your new thieves. In Dragon Bridge there is an inn (I know…crazy, right?) Well, inside this inn you'll find a golden tiger. I want this golden tiger. It's worth a lot of coin, but that's not all in Dragon Bridge. It's a heavy location filled with Imperial spies, that means…the Aldmeri Dominion is there too. They'll likely be after your priest as well, so be careful._

_Now, this tiger is protected day and night by a very watchful dog. If you want to get rid of the dog, be my guest. Actually, no, keep the dog alive. Oh, and I'm guessing you want to know why I'm sending you after a golden tiger. Well, one of my earlier protégés who had these…feelings for me stole it when I turned away her advances. Well…I want it back and if somehow this protégé comes back to find me…all the better, if you catch my drift. I'm stuffing a note in with this journal entry so leave it where the tiger sits and I'll make sure to pay you back someday with more information._

_Take care, lass_

_…_

Brynjolf stuffed a note into my journal and handed it back to me, winking as he did so. "Read it once you leave town, lass. I'm sure you'll find it…an interesting read." He stuck out his hand for another handshake. "Once again…take care, lass." I reached in to shake his hand, but Mjoll was now rushing into me for a hug.

Mjoll squeezed me into a hug again and I felt a bone in my toe crack from the buildup of pressure. When she released me I was free to leave their company. They started playing music and everyone started dancing. Mjoll and Brynjolf were doing some sort of dance that I had never seen before. It involved holding hands, moving around a lot, and Brynjolf just _had_ to have a rose clenched in his teeth. It looked like a very spicy dance.

I was content with just walking around, collecting small pieces of cake. I had actually found Ruby near the food table, stuffing her face with as much of everything that she could. What she didn't initially want was wrapped in some sort of plastic that she pulled out of her bag and stuffed it back inside the bag for later. She glanced up at me once I had found her. She gave me a big childish grin, saying, "Can we visit the Wonder Cook's college? I want to learn how to bake these awesome cakes."

I rolled my eyes and found myself chuckling. "From what I hear…they're worse than the bards when it comes to being dramatic and battles."

That gave me a very expressive puppy-dog eyes from Ruby. "_Plllleaaase?"_

I finally sighed. "Fine…but it's Solitude."

Her eyes had grown even more pleadful and I thought that her head was going to explode from too much uncontrollable sugar running through her system. "Can we please go? Huh, please, please?"

I sighed. "I wanted to go with Asger because we're going to buy a house, remember? But…if you really want to join the Bakers Guild…sure."

She jumped up and down, throwing her arms up in the air, happy. "Yay…finally."

"Oh, and I guess your new friend is joining us." I said to her.

Ruby's face fell and so did her arms. "What? Pantu is joining us?"

Pantu walked up from behind her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Yup. Brynjolf wants to me teach you how to be a thief. And…I'm supposed to keep my eyes on Lydia while she looks for the vampire. Once you have found her, I'm reporting back."

I saw some of the interest in Ruby's eyes fade away. I don't get it…did she not like him? Maybe she didn't like the idea of another person in our team than I did. Ruby forced a smile and a laugh. "Oh? Well, glad you're joining us then."

I suppressed a sigh as I grabbed Ruby by her arm and pulled her away. "Sorry, Pantu. But I want to talk to her alone."

He only smiled and waved me off. "If you need me, I'll be outside preparing our carriage."

When we finally got away, I stopped pulling Ruby. "What was _that_?" I asked her. "I thought you'd be happy having another…well…you along."

Ruby crossed her arms. "That's the problem…it's another _me_. This party already has a thief and a slightly psychotic/kleptomaniac cat. Besides…I haven't exactly expressed any wanting to be around other Khajiits, have I?"

I shook my head. "No, you haven't and every time M'aiq tries to convert you…you do seem to fight it a lot."

She nodded. "Right, I do. I don't like people stereotyping me into being just another Khajiit. I bet you thought I was going to fall in love with him or something. Just because we're both Khajiits and similar in age."

I shrugged. "Well, Brynjolf and I were discussing that possibility."

"Exactly!" Ruby seemed to scream at me. "So, why would I be happy at hearing that any generalizations about me and him?"

Again, I shrugged. "Wow…you really thought about this."

Ruby crossed her arms, breathing out in mild disgust. "I like Maleek, a lot. And… I don't want this…dark-fur rubbing himself against me. And he will too…I know he will, because he thinks like every other Khajiit."

I finally looked away from her and shook my head. "Well, we're stuck with him until we find this vampire. So…be nice…but not too nice. He is your new instructor and if you get on his bad side it could become a problem for you."

Ruby rubbed the top of her head in frustration. "Yeah…just what I need." She started fussing with her mane, thinking. "I guess I can express the want to be friends and just try to leave it at that…I hope it doesn't get worse, though." Then her hand settled onto her circlet, the one I was sure she stole. She looked over at me and pointed at it. "Oh yeah, do you like my new circlet?"

"Who did you steal it from?" I asked, deadpanned. I wanted to know who I had to pay.

Her face puffed up as she became annoyed. "I didn't steal it. This is the home of the Thieves Guild. It's protected, I wouldn't steal from it. No…I bartered one of my fancier but uglier circlets for this one. Sure, it would look nice one someone like you, but for someone with orange fur…it just looks ugly and misplaced. No, I wanted something that would stick out; something Maleek would not be able to get his eyes off of. Argonians like crystals almost as much as I do…if only because they are shiny."

We finished up our conversation and we started making our way through town. Almost everyone was out celebrating Mjoll's birthday but some of the shops were still open. When we stocked up on food and threw them into Ruby's bag, we started making our way over to the stalls, where Pantu would be waiting with a carriage. Good, I wanted to leave.

Pushing the gate open and stepping outside I could see Babette sitting on the carriage, a giant smile on her face. "Haven't fed like that in a _long_ time." She said, wiping some blood off her face. "That old lady…she smacked me." Babette rubbed a giant red spot that was on her left cheek. "Then…I killed her. Oh well, I had to anyway." She jumped off the cart and walked over to us. "I sent a messenger up to Windhelm to tell my client that the contract was fulfilled and where to leave his payment…so…I'm free to come with you guys since I'm no longer bound by a contract."

"You were bound to a contract?" I asked.

Babette nodded. "Yeah…why do you think I suggested coming down here? To talk to some thieves? No…I had an old lady to kill. She had been abusing children and keeping them from being adopted, using them as her personal frustration punching bags as well as slave labor. When I walked into the door, she tried to 'tame' me. Well, I sucked her dry. Wasn't much blood in her anyway. Well, I guess it worked out, right." She gestured over to Pantu, who was stocking some additional supplies onto the back of our carriage's cart. "After all, we have a new pet…" She looked over at Ruby and shrugged an apology. "sorry, habit." Then she looked back up at me. "And from what he tells me, he's going to help us find our prey."

My only reply was a nod of my head. Yeah, but I could tell that even if his intentions were all good, having him near us was not. Ruby seemed distraught over having him near her and her having to listen to what he said, I had to deal with yet another Khajiit, and Babette more or less…well, heck I don't really care.

I jumped into the carriage and said, "Ok, guys. Let's go."

"You're not leaving yet." A spindly old voice called from up above me. I groaned as I looked up. Floating above us was an extremely old woman with long wings and yellow glowing eyes.

I sighed as I looked over at Babette. "You spat up some, didn't you?"

Babette smiled sheepishly. "Oops?" Then she scoffed and looked away. "It was very nasty tasting blood. It tasted like mothballs. I couldn't help but hiccup…"

I looked up at the old woman. I crossed my arms and said, "What do you want?"

"Revenge!" The old woman screamed. "Finally, I got to leave this crappy world infested with rodent children…and this mouse brought me back."

I leaned back in my chair and reached for my new crossbow. "Ok, so how's this going to end?"

The old woman smirked. "With your neck in my teeth." She disappeared, reappearing right at my neck.

I fired my crossbow, but the bolt flew off in a different direction. She had grabbed my hand and pulled it away from her, drawing my fire off. I could feel her teeth sink into my neck. But I didn't feel any of my blood leaving, only a very sharp pain.

Apparently, she was just as confused as I was because she was making that nervous sound when you get your tongue stuck on a pole in the middle of winter. "Uhhhnn." She called and tried to pulled her teeth out. "I'm stuck." Her voice rung through my neck, vibrating disgustingly. Her tongue danced on my neck trying to push her teeth away. It sent shivers down my spine. It felt like she was trying to arouse me in a very disgusting and painful way.

"I'll help." Babette called as her foot connected with the old woman's face. They flew back, away from me, but I could still feel the teeth in my neck.

I looked at the old woman and so did everyone else. The fighting had stopped and we all just…gawked at her. She felt for her teeth but all she had left was her lower set. She finally rolled her eyes and said, "Oh come on! My vampire teeth are in my dentures?" She shook her head and brushed it off. "Whatever…if my teeth are fake, I can't drink blood anyway."

Babette smiled and charged in, running her fingers into the woman's neck. "Luckily for me…I just had a meal." She flapped her incredibly smaller wings and flew them both up into the tree.

The old woman screamed out in pain as she became impaled on a giant branch. Babette smiled and brushed her hands off, flying away from her. The skin on the old woman started to fall off like a liquid. "I'm melting…melting…" Then her head fell off and lit on fire, turning into ashes as the rest of her body disintegrated.

Babette landed on the ground, smiling from ear to ear. "There, now she's dead. Contract complete."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha! by kick I meant someone got a boot to the face. Heh...I amaze myself._


	44. Ch 44: I wouldn't eat that

**Cearbhail:**_ A significantly shorter chapter but it makes up for it in almost every aspect you can think of. I don't want to spoil it but...masterpiece. True as they come. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Dammit. All of it. So, we arrived in Dragon Bridge as quickly as possible. No easy feat I might add. We screamed as dragons blew fire behind us, ducked our heads when Forsworn shot arrows, and closed our eyes when new age necromancers made free love with their 'creations'. Probably the scariest of all scenarios. Don't ask._

_That's not why I'm upset. I'm upset because…today OF ALL DAYS…is the (sigh) annual Chefs United cook-off. And…huh…it just so happens to be located at…_

_You guessed it, Dragon Bridge. I remember Ruby just asking about it out of the blue and now…out of the blue…it's here, it has lots of beer, cooks lots of deer, brings normal folks lots of fear, and it only comes once a year… so we better get used to it._

_So, of course, once we stroll right into town and Ruby saw the giant banner proclaiming the 36th annual celebration of the Chef's United founding…she requested that we stick around and somehow get her involved in the festivities. Well…if it keeps me from having to go to Solitude too early, all the better. But here's what kills me the most. If we had just…slowed down by one battle or two, we would have missed all this and we could continue finding our vampire. (sigh)._

_Lydia…_

…

"Lydia look! It's the Predictable Pastries guild…" Ruby said, grabbing onto my arm, shaking me with excitement. "Look, they have the same looking cupcakes as they did last year! Oh…I got to have one, I bet it tastes exactly like it did a year ago!"

I groaned out but looked over at Babette. "You're still young, so I'm guessing you still have a thing for sweets?"

She smiled. "I'm lucky I don't have a disorder by now. Hmm…is that the Baker's guild branch-off: Cryptic Cakes? Hmm…I keep forgetting that they exist. They're so mysterious." She said, walking away from me.

I sighed as I face-palmed. Pantu was now the only one standing near me. He had his arms crossed and his eyes darted around the various stalls. I could hear his stomach turning in hunger.

I finally nudged him in the shoulder and said, "Why not try something out? I bet you're hungry."

Pantu sighed and relaxed his arms. "Perhaps…but…I should not eat much sugar. Most of these stalls are of the Baker's Guild and their branches. I would like to visit the Grillers Guild and see the various meats that they have."

I shook my head and said, "Aren't some types of meat baked?"

Pantu shrugged. "Whether they do or don't is irrelevant. The Baker's Guild is a dessert guild only. They pride themselves on making floury sugary cakes and candies. They are very expressive in just how well they can decorate a cake and their battles are usually, whose cake looks the best. Then you have the Griller's Guild. The meat cookers. They have several branches: most of which rely on barbequing and marinating their meats during battles. They usually use a grill but I know a few branches who pan fry and some who bake (like you suggested). Then you have the various other guilds who are smaller and not well-known. One of which is the Pizza Pickup guild. They're creating some type of…round cheesy dish. I hear it's popular, but I've never had one."

I allowed a quick breath escape from me before I grabbed my head in slight frustration. Why, oh why do things like this happen to me? I had no doubt in my mind that at some point today, something would happen. We were asking for it when Ruby announced wanting to join the Bakers guild and now…we're at the collection of bakers guild branch-offs. I patted Pantu on the shoulder and said, "Well, walk around and see what you can get. I'm going to look over here." _And away from you._

So, I started to walk away from Pantu and up to the Cup's Cakes stand. A tall lean Bosmer bowed to me as I approached. He was dressed in a long cream-colored chef's uniform. He even wore that ridiculously large puffy hat. "Why hello, ma'am. Name's Berner. May I interest you in one of our famous cup-sized snackable cakes for on the go? Here at Cup's Cakes, we know that young people such as yourself cannot possibly carry a giant heavy cake into battle and expect to walk out without cake on your face. So, here, we design small hand-held cakes designed perfectly for snacking…while attacking."

His goofy grin and pointy fingers expression, as well as his over the top introduction, made me crack out into a laugh. When I leaned down, crying over my busted gut…he leaned over the edge of his stand and said, "I'm sorry, ma'am. Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No…you said something right. Snacking…while attacking. Clever, very clever." I said between laughs as the thought of me holding off a bandit with my sword in one hand, my cupcake in another. I would be pushing against him, him making a death-threat and I would (instead of pressing the attack) turned my head and took a bite from the cupcake instead. I could not get that image out of my head.

When I could finally pick myself up off the ground I nodded at him and said, "Ok, whatcha got?"

He motioned to the massive display of his cupcakes. "Well, we have the carrot cake, cream cake, vanilla cake, buttermilk cream with buttermilk icing with buttermilk buttermilk filling. And then we have the buttermilk buttermilk vanilla/buttermilk chocolate with buttermilk sprinkles."

I arched my eyebrows and started rubbing my nose. I think my head just exploded. All the talk of buttermilk made my butt feel like expanding. "You sure like your buttermilk."

He nodded. "Oh yes, ma'am. It's the 'in thing' right now." He handed me one of the buttermilk cupcakes and said, "Here, try."

I took it and licked the icing, surprising at how light and silky it was. Before I knew it the cupcake went down my throat and into my stomach. Man, that went by too fast. The baker didn't seem surprised, however.

He only nodded and said, "As you can see, ma'am. Perfect for fighting. Gone in a blink of an eye." Then a smile reached his ears. "And of course, ma'am. There is…one more cupcake in the design." He looked around like he was worried that someone might steal his secret. He pulled up a cupcake that was decorated in a rich purple colored icing. He smiled and directed his gaze upon it. "This cupcake…trumps all the cupcakes in the world. Here…you'll be the first one to ever, _ever_, taste it besides myself."

I took the cupcake from him, my hands shaking in both suspicion and anticipation. I looked the baker in the eye before pulling the cupcake in for a sniff. I forgot that a cupcake was not like baked meat…it doesn't have a unique smell. So, instead I opted to taste the icing first. A familiar swirl of something overly sour and bitter returned to my mouth, but was also hinted in something sweet as well. The taste was replaced with another feeling of something calming and relaxing. Something that I ate all the time. I found myself munching on the cupcake, enjoying the rich berry taste. The inside of the cupcake was filled with a jelly version of the icing on top, but more concentrated. I could feel the taste more easily. I could taste…the meaty aftertaste.

My chewing stopped, my face began to flush. I looked over to the Bosmer and noticed that I…I've seen his face before. I tried to recall his name, but before the name could come to my mind, my stomach was beginning to turn as I recalled where this taste came from. "This…" I said through a stuffed mouth. "Is this what I think it is?"

He smiled and bowed to me. "Well, it's about time you recognized me, ma'am. And why yes…that's my new vanilla snowberry buttercream cupcake. Did you enjoy the wine flavoring in the icing and the filling? Oh the first alcoholic cupcake, genius, I might say myself."

I was going to spit out the cupcake, but I didn't want to. It tasted _way_ too good. I forced the cupcake down my throat before I shook my head is disgust. "Please tell me that I did not just consume."

"Why yes, my lovely Nord woman. You have just experienced the first in my cupcake icing/filling made from the formula distilled in the liver/stomach of the pigs in my barn. See the sprinkles? I get that from the rabbits." He laughed at that last one and nudged me. "Oh come on, that last one was a joke…if it weren't true." He gave me a suspicious set of eyes and burst out laughing again.

I found my stomach turning at imagining the sprinkles being rabbit crap. I had to find ways of blocking this type of Illusion magic. I brushed the thought away and leaned towards him. "You are just going to torment me for the rest of my life, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "Well, it's not like I'm going to be your personal chef one day when you become High Queen of Skyrim." (wink wink)

I nodded. "True, this will most likely be the last time you ever feed me pig urine." (wink wink) I wiped what remained of the icing off my lips and sucked on it. Why not? It was good and already down there…stewing. I was already going to pay for it later, might as well polish it off. I looked up at him again and said, "So, what's your name again?"

He smiled. "Berner ma'am. Well, have a good day." He tipped his hat as he bowed.

I nodded and walked off, happy to be rid of him. So, now he belonged to a pastry guild. Ok…for now on no more Cup's Cakes for me.

I found Ruby running up to me, her eyes wide and her hair standing on end. She was practically bouncing out of her fur. "Lydia, Lydia. Ohmygods. . . . OhmygodsIlovedit. . Sogood."

Her words flew out of her mouth so quick that my head started spinning. Ruby had not stopped for a breath the entire time. Now she was already quiet and her eyes drooped back. "Ruby?" I asked.

She fell backwards and I caught her before she hit the ground. "I'm so tired!" She screamed before she passed out. I laughed as I remember this was how I met Ruby. Her coming into her cave and passing out after saying the exact same line. I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. I just had to wait it out for a couple minutes. Wait…I just had to wake her up instead. I set her on the ground and walked over to Berner.

Berner welcomed me cautiously. "Why, hello, ma'am. What might I help you with."

"One of your snowberry buttercreams, please." I replied.

He looked cautious but smiled in return. "Of course, 5 gold please."

I handed it over and he handed me a purple cupcake. I handed him 5 more and said, "Actually, can I have one more, please?"

He looked even more confused now but took my coins and handed me another cupcake. I smiled as I shoved that cupcake in his face. "Hope you enjoy your own cooking." I cooed to him as I walked away.

I walked up to the sleeping body of Ruby and brought the cupcake to her mouth. She would never forgive me if I let her pass up the opportunity to join one of these guilds while they were all conveniently joined in one spot. If she slept through it, she would be predictably pouty for the next week or so. At least until we would finally make it to Solitude. So, knowing everything that I did, I shoved that cupcake down into her mouth and clenched her mouth shut.

It was only a few seconds before Ruby started crying out in both surprise and disgust. She had heightened smell/taste glands. She could smell/taste that urine aspect of the wine like no one else on Nirn could. I could see tears rolling down her eyes as she started plucking at my hands, squirming my hold off her mouth. When she finally pried her mouth away, she spat out the cupcake as fast as she could. "Lydia! What the shab? Why did you do that?"

I shrugged and pointed to the booths. "Well, this is like your dream, isn't it? I mean, you'd probably only get this excited if all the famous bards in the world gathered for a tournament. Didn't you say something about joining the Baker's Guild?" I gestured to all the bakery stands that surrounded us. "Well, now's the chance."

Ruby's face went from shocked/angry/disgusted to calm/collected. She stood up and brushed off her blue dress, nodding. "Yes, of course. Thank you, Lydia." She bowed to me and ran up to the Bakers Guild representation booth. She was going to sign up right now before she would pass out again.

She came back a few seconds later with a registration form. She passed it to me and said, "I'm under 16, so I need a parent or guardian to sign for me."

I took the paper and read it over. "Not responsible for any dramatic battles that may or may not leave your body inducted into a six-layer cake…huh.." I said to myself. "I should have expected to read that." I signed my name on the sign-up sheet and passed it to Ruby. "So, which branch are you going to join?"

Ruby spat out more of the cupcake that I shoved in her mouth. "Which one gave you that cupcake?"

I pointed back to Cup's Cakes. Ruby glared over at Berner, who smiled politely. She growled and said, "I remember him." She looked back at me and said, "Any one of the branches but that one." She ran off to pass in her registration form. She came back a few minutes later with her permits. She smiled at me and said, "Ok, I have a test to take. Wish me luck."

"Luck?" I asked as she took off into the inn. What kind of test was she about to do? I guess I was about to find out because the woman who filled out my form was walking up to me.

It was a red-headed Altmer. She bowed graciously to me and said, "Your…daughter? If I may call her that?" I nodded. "She has requested to join the Baker's Guild. She has to pass a simple test and perform a cake battle with one of our instructors. She will be taught an hour long course and then…we welcome you to witness her battle her instructor in cake fashioning." She handed me a ticket. "One hour at the inn. Be there." She stuck out her pinky and index finger at me and waved it towards my eyes. "I'll be watching for you. Baker Beatrice…out." She threw a packet of icing on the ground and it exploded into frothy mist. I covered my eyes and when I opened them…she was sprinting away as fast as she could behind the inn… Jeez…some dramatic exit.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: BAKERS ASSEMBLE!_


	45. Ch 45: The Full Course

**Cearbhail:**_ Another very short chapter, but since I'm posting two today and did not want just one very long chapter, I thought I'd split it up. Ok, this chapter is skipable. You don't have to read it, it's all just dramatic fun and introductions to the major Chefs Guilds. It's all a set up for the following chapter which is the real battle. If you read, hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Over the course of the entire 36th Annual Chefs United Cook-off, I ate a cupcake with berry flavored icing made from pig urine, I ate a slab of troll ribs, arm-wrestled a bear…claw…you know (the donut). It was really heavy, ok? Then I found Pantu getting in a fight with an Argonian girl near his age. I mean…really, come on! What? Is there going to be another Khajiit/Argonian love fling starting today or something? It's getting stupid and I wish this repetitive crap would stop._

_Oh, Babette ate some sweet stuff and now she's flying around in circles, screaming as loud as she can. She scared half the patrons away but I managed to say that she ate an enchanted creampuff that grows wings…because she's an alchemist. That calmed everyone down and eventually Babette crashed into a tree, passing out on impact. She's still sleeping down there._

_Now…since it is a cook-off, things….happened. I thought bards were bad. These guys take dramatic stuff to the next level. The Pizza Pickup guild had two of its own members battling. How did they do so? By spinning dough as fast and as dramatically as they could. One guy screamed from the top of his lungs spinning the dough above his head with one hand, his other hand spinning a knife around while chopping up pepperoni. It was wild. And then… he threw the dough up in the air, swung a can of red sauce, threw cheese like they were shuriken as well as the pepperoni, and then (when it all collided into one spot in mid-air)…shot a Fireball at it… He stuck out his hand and caught a perfectly crafted pizza. It was quite the show._

_Oh, that reminds me, I have to watch Ruby do her dramatic bard/baker thing now._

_Lydia.._

_…_

I was already inside the inn, in the basement. They had rows and rows of chairs prepared. I was going to sit down in the first row, but when I read the sign "_Splash Zone_" I thought better of it. I sat back another two rows and waited. The other seats were filled in relatively quick. I guess everyone wanted to see this.

I looked around at the 'battlefield'. A giant row of tables and cauldrons were set up. Alchemy tables and the new wooden stove sat in the middle of all the tables, as well as a giant ice box. The wooden stove looked brand-new. Of course, we had new technology because of Dwarven designs. This designed was inspired by the Dwarven heating stove, which kept their dark tunnels warm and steamy. Those Dwarves loved their spas. The power source was derived from Ayleid crystals, while the heat was brought by wood…of course. Don't ask me what the crystals were for, I couldn't tell you. But apparently it allowed the fire to burn at above normal temperatures, which isn't weird at all so don't question it…

The people sitting near me were talking in hushed tones.

"wow…look at that…is that an ice box?"

"Shh…I'm trying to wait patiently for my daughter to show up…"

"Will you two shut up?" Someone from behind us whispered loudly. "I'm trying to watch the introduction.." Then I heard a large amount of popcorn being munched on from that same person. Very annoyingly.

I rubbed my eyes as I continued to wait. I don't know what was worse, people talking in hushed tones loudly, or the people shushing them…louder… Nothing seemed to be quiet for very long.

The lights in the inn started to dim. Everyone instantly closed their mouths.

_"IN THE BEGINNING…THERE WERE ONLY PLANTS…THEN…ANIMALS THAT ATE THE PLANTS. FOLLOWED BY…ANIMALS THAT ATE ANIMALS. NOW…MORE THAN 3,000 YEARS LATER…WE HAVE…"_

Out of nowhere giant plumes of smoke erupted from the ground. A backlight shone on top of the columns of smoke. Once I could see the backlight, I could see four different people in dramatic looking poses. I could not see their faces yet, being still shrouded in colored smoke, but I could tell where this is going…

_"THE CHEFS UNITED ORGANIZATION. THE FOUR MAIN GUILDS, REPRESENT!"_

The person on the very left, obscured by the pink smoke, started moving. "I am the Head Baker of the Bakers Guild. I am…" She jumped through the smoke, twirling two wooden spoons like dagger. It was the red-headed Altmer from earlier. "Glass Chef Beatrice Bonaparte!" She dove into a front flip, landing with her legs spread. "By all that is sweet, I pledge to create wonderful treats that are light, fluffy, and filled with good natured fillings!"

_Then why did you let Berner join?_ I thought to myself as I crossed my arms. No one should ever have to eat pig urine…I don't care if it didn't travel through the whole system yet.

The person covered in the dark red smoke next to Beatrice brought his hands up and stuck out his pinky and index fingers. That had to be a Chefs United sign or something. "I am the Grill Master of the Griller's Guild I am…" He jumped through the smoke, unleashing a two pronged fork that was as long as his arm. He spun it around, snapping out a kick before coming to a stop. He was a well-built Redguard with a giant bloodstained apron. "Glass Chef Stros Cowkiller!" He nodded to us and said, "By all that is meaty, I pledge to adorn it with appropriate spices and sauces to not destroy the original taste, but lo…to make a whole new taste, one that we _all_ can enjoy!"

The person in the green smoke was still leaning over on one knee, resting their arm on the knee with the hand resting on their chin. The person stood up and started swinging his or her arms in a dramatic fashion. "I am…the Salad Master of the Salad Guild. I am…" He rolled through the green smoke, unleashing a pair of prongs as a short dagger and a strainer as a shield. It was a Bosmer with shiny green hair. He spun around and said, "Glass Chef Nucleus Green-thumb!" He bowed to us. "By all that is leafy, I pledge that my dishes will be prepared with the soul of the Tamriel in mind. By all that is vegan, I shall create dishes for those who have sworn off eating meat."

The last person I could tell was an Argonian already. And a short one too. She was obscured in an orange smoke. What type of food dish would be represented by an orange smoke? She relaxed her position. "I am the Bowl Master of the Soup Guild!" She yelled a slightly high-pitched call. "I am…" She jumped out of the smoke, wielding a wooden spoon the size of a staff and a giant cauldron. It was the same purple-skinned Argonian I saw Pantu talking to. I had no idea she was a chef. She spun the wooden spoon around her lithe body, finishing by placing the round end in the cauldron and lifting herself off the ground, coming to a rest on top of the spoon, positioned a few feet above the cauldron. "Glass Chef Zaliika Vanderma!" She pushed off her spoon, doing a front flip, landing perfectly in a crouch. "By all that is liquid and has taste to it, I pledge to take any ingredient and create a soup for those who wish to slurp their food instead of chew it!"

The Argonian walked in front of the other three, smiling. "And together we are…"

The four of them spun around until they were perfectly positioned in a tight square, each one in a mirror-reflected pose. Together they said, "The Full Course!"

Someone from the stage booed. "Boo, boo I say! Where's the Dairy Guild?" He screamed at the top of his lungs. The Glass Chefs didn't look upset, in fact, they all smiled mischievously.

Then…the lights dimmed around the chefs. Three pillars of white smoke erupted from behind him. "We have a full course…but no drink." I deep voice called from the center. "How can we call ourselves a full course without something to drink while we eat?" The Full Course rose as one and started walking back. They stood around the pillars of smoke as someone with a giant puffy hat seemed to emerge from the bottom of the floor.

"YEAH! DAIRY GUILD! Woo!" The same person from before screamed. I looked back at him to see a fat Imperial sticking his hands out in that index/pinky salute thingy that I had seen all day today. " Bring the bull's horns, dude!"

I looked back at the smoke. A big round-bellied Imperial stepped out of the smoke, small wooden spoon and a glass in his hands. He smiled and tipped his hat to us. "I am the Milk Man of the Dairy Guild. I am…" He looked around at us and sighed. I can tell that he didn't like the theatrics any more than I did. "Glass Chef Darius Maximus." Then he smiled as he ripped his giant buttoned chef's uniform off. His coat fell off in slow motion, his entire body ripped and steely. Ok, I was wrong. He was just attempting to act normal before getting all dramatic. Strapped to him were several glasses and a giant tube that attached to both of his hands. Where I thought he had a big belly was a giant tank filled with white milk. He stuck his hand out at us and said, "By all that is whole milk, I pledge to quench the thirst of anyone in the first _six_ rows!"

He started spraying milk from his hand-tubes at everyone in the first couple rows. I couldn't help but feel like I miscalculated somewhere. I started counting just how many rows back I was… One…two…

Milk washed over my face and I started groaning out in annoyance. "Three." I said to myself. Some of the milk splashed in my mouth and I allowed myself to taste it before either spitting it out or swallowing it. It tasted rich and honey flavored. Very good. I liked it.

I looked down at my Blades armor. It was just drenched in milk. I could hear it grinding and creaking from the milk. Great…it was going to rust, I just knew it. Time to get new armor, at least until I could get new Blades armor.

Darius walked up to the stage, an enchanted spatula up to his lips. He tapped it a few times and I could hear the tapping through the air like the spatula was enchanted to enhance sound. "Today is a glorious day, my friends. We have five new initiates. One for each major guild…if you can believe it. Let's bring them in!" He waved us to look at the five pillars of colored smoke that had just erupted from the ground. It was the same five colors from before. Oh great…this again. Well, at least I knew what the first pillar would be.

I looked at the pink smoke. I could see the tail already and that small skinny form with cat ears was easy to spot. It had to be Ruby. Darius walked up to the first pillar and said, "This new apprentice hails from a Redguard strip club that specializes in exotic dancers. She's reformed and flinging flutes and now spatulas. Please help me welcome…Ruby Battle-Born!"

Ruby jumped through the smoke, now dressed in a chef's outfit that looked four sizes too large on her. Her sleeves were too long and she struggled to push up her falling hat while smiling sheepishly at the crowd. She took a dramatic pose that I saw Asger take all the time and said, "I am the Cookie from the Bakers Guild! I pledge to learn the baker's trade."

Darius walked over to the next pillar of smoke. "Our new apprentice for the Grillers Guild…please welcome…Pantu (no last name)!"

Pantu came flying through the red smoke, his claws unsheathed. He landed with a heavy footing, making the ground shake (barely, he's still a kitten). He growled at the crowd which made everyone jump back in their seats. He spun himself around, slashing his claws out ferociously. He paused and said, "I am the Fish Fry of the Grillers Guild. With my claws, I will slice meat and fillet fish!"

Darius rubbed the top of his head. "Isn't he lovely, ladies?" He walked past Pantu and walked up to the green smoke. "Now, from the provinces of Valenwood, we have…Primrose Bonras."

A teenage Bosmer cautiously walked out of the green smoke, coughing and waving the smoke away as she did so. She saw the crowd in front of her and I saw her cheeks turn red. She bowed deep to us, rubbing her hands on her chef uniform. "Uh… I'm whsihs.." Her small voice disappeared. She looked away and locked up.

Darius nodded and patted her on the head as well. "You'll do fine, Primrose." He walked past her and onto the next pillar of orange smoke. "Now…let me introduce…"

"WAHOO!" A low-pitched voice called from the smoke. An Orc boy jumped through the orange smoke, his fingers in the chef's hand-sign. He grabbed the spatula from Darius and said, "I am Grub-Grub Na Dumdum. I left stronghold to learn soup. So soup I will make." He passed the spatula back to Darius and crossed his arms. He was done with his introduction.

Darius smiled and walked past him. "Ok, folks, one more introduction and we can start with the…qualification tests. Regardless, these children have proven to be Bakers Guild material, beating all the other contestants in the preliminary cooking class."

Darius pointed to the last pillar of smoke. The Dairy Guild smoke. "New to the Dairy Guild, but well-known to the Bakers Guild, help me welcome Berner of Valenwood!"

_Ah crap. Now he's making milk. Bet I know what he's going to do with it._

Berner walked out of the smoke, still tan, still a Bosmer. He bowed to everyone. "Thank you, thank you. I am Berner, and I swear…by the end of the day you will all _enjoy_ a glass of snowberry milk." He looked at me with a wink. I felt my stomach turn. I knew it.

Darius patted Berner on the back. "I'm sure we'll all love to try out your first recipe." He looked over to everyone and said, "Well…we all came here for a fight, so…let the Food Fight begin! Right after this commercial break. We do need to set up for it."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Wow, this was over the top for me. No more Sailor Moon for me.._


	46. Ch 46: Food fight

**Cearbhail:**_ Someone very clever saw through my Black Star reference. Clever, clever. Anyway, a good long chapter filled with suspense towards the end...enjoy. Oh, yeah._

_The following is a fan-based parody. Black Star is a fictional charater belonging to Funimation from the anime Soul Eater. Please support the offical character creation and show's release...and this mockery of both.._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Wow… never have I had to sit through something so overdone. Now we're all sitting here, people around me screaming excitedly about what they had just seen. The woman next to me was still screaming loudly. "That's my daughter, go Primrose!"_

_I still don't know what a salad is, but I guess it has something to do with plants now. I'm kinda curious. If I recall correctly, Maleek ordered a salad the day we met Babette. The Bosmer did not know what a salad was either. Even when I didn't know what it was, I don't recall ever seeing the salad at all, or if Maleek ever got to eat it. All I can remember is Babette making love to the steak on the table. It's that type of stuff you don't forget. Ever…_

_Oh, the lights are dimming again._

_Lydia…_

I closed my journal and looked back up at the kitchen. Of course all five battles were happening simultaneously. We could watch any battle we liked, but just to keep the pace, they wanted all five battles during the same hour slot. The contestants and their trainers had an hour to create their perfect dish while the Glass Chefs watched and judged based on dramatic tension and blah blah blah.

"Hey, Lydia…did I miss the opening?" Babette called from over my shoulder, her cold breath slapping against my exposed neck.

I jumped out of my seat, which impaled part of Babette's fangs into my neck. I held my scream but Babette had no trouble jumping back. "Ow…my nose!" She squealed nasally. Then she sniffed my neck again. "Why do you smell like soy milk?"

I looked back at her, my eyes deadpanned. "Because I didn't sit back far enough." I grumbled to her and  
looked back at the chefs walking back out.

Darius was the first one to walk out to the stage. "Here on the left, we have the new Baker, Cookie Ruby!" He waved his hand to Ruby, who waved to us while she started setting up her part of the kitchen. She looked like she was fully immersed in just setting up her little space, grabbing giant cake pots. Darius looked over at her and her master, who was a Breton with long blue hair. He said, "Today's Baker's challenge is…six layered cake."

My mind started drifting back to the disclaimer 'Is not held responsible for any dramatic battles that result in your body being inducted into a six-layered cake'. Oh boy...

Darius brought our attention to the middle of the group, where a set of grills and a stove were in the middle of a set of tables and sets of cleavers and knives. "Here in the middle of it all is the new Griller, Fish Fry Pantu!" Pantu glanced up at us and folded his ears back in concentration. He scanned the crowd until he found my eyes and nodded a greeting to me. He went back to inspecting his knives and looking at the arrays of meat near him. Darius glanced back at Pantu and said, "Your challenge is…a rack of mammoth ribs! Make them as tasty as you can because you'll be feeding the Glass Chef once you finish with them." Both Pantu and his instructor looked at each other and glared. They must have not liked each other.

Babette leaned forward, flipping over her chair and crashing into my lap, leaning back against me. She looked up at me and said, "Think I can slip back there and eat some raw steaks? I'm pretty thirsty."

I nodded. "Sure, but be careful. If someone catches you…I cannot be held responsible."

Babette smiled and her wings spread from her back. She smiled deeper as she vanished into a stream of bats that roared through the air, flying out of the room and into the back of the inn. Oh boy… I bet she was going to get caught.

Darius watched as the bats flew overhead him. He glanced at Glass Chef Stros with a significant stare. Glass Chef Stros sighed as he stood up and went to the back of the room. "Hey…get off my meat!" After that, I don't know what happened. "Hey, stop sucking on my meat! That's my meat you're sucking on!" There were some sounds of pots and pans crashing to the ground and Stros was groaning out as he tried doing whatever it was that he was doing.

We waited for a few seconds with sounds of Babette crying out in laughter and Stros chasing her around the backroom, throwing pots and pans at her. "Hey!" He screamed. "That's not your chew toy! You spit that out right now." Then I heard Babette cry out as something hit her. Then Stros said, "Whoa…get that out of your mouth. No…seriously, don't you dare suck on that. GET OFF." He screamed. Then he groaned out in pain. "That was my prime rib you just ruined!" Then I heard another crash of pots and Babette cried out in pain again.

Babette came flying through the doorway as a stream of bats. She flew passed me and right out of the inn. Well, I hope she at least got some sort of meal.

Darius shrugged as he walked back up to us. "I'm sorry, folks. That happens a lot more than you can believe."

Stros walked back out of the room, limping and holding his waist. He had a look of pain on his face. He nodded to Darius and said, "She did it again."

Darius looked down at his waist and patted him on the shoulder. "It will heal."

Stros started crying. "No it won't! You can't heal prime rib!" He stepped away, sitting back down with the other Glass Chefs. They all took turns comforting him before Darius went back to running his little show.

Darius pointed off to the right of everyone and said, "Here on the right…in the closest kitchen to the audience where everyone can see her, fully decked out with bright lights that illuminate every feature on her body…is the shy Primrose from the Salad Guild." He looked right at her and I saw her shrink under her table. "Primrose, your challenge is to make…an Imperial Salad. Yeah…good luck."

An Imperial Salad? How hard could that be?

Darius pointed up. "And then I want it to explode! In flavor, of course." He patted her on the head, which she seemed to relax. He looked back down at her. "No, seriously. I want it to _explode_…with flavor. Good luck." Primrose squeaked before hiding behind her table again.

Darius looked toward the back rows. "And back here towards the left we have…"

"WAHOO!" Grub-Grub said as he jumped on top of his table. "I am the immortal Soup Chef, Grub-lord! Someday, I will become a god…in the kitchen!" He pointed to all of us and smirked. "Be witness to my awesome soupy powers, low mortal beings!"

Darius sighed as he looked at Grub and said, "Your challenge…a special alchemy soup. One designed to calm people down and possibly put them to sleep. Don't forget to try it (a lot) before passing it to the Glass Chefs…"

Grub laughed. "That's no problem…for a god."

Darius sighed and looked away. He walked over to Berner, completely worn out. "And here to the back right we have…the new rising baking star…Berner." Berner bowed to us. "Now, Berner, your challenge is to make something drinkable for all of us to enjoy."

Berner smiled. "Oh that will be no problem. I have a special formula already brewing in the back. Do you mind drinking alcoholic milk?

Darius shook his head. "Actually, I specialize in alcoholic cream. If you present your brew to me…you better be prepared, because I judge harshly…and so will the others."

Berner smiled. "Challenge…accepted."

Darius looked over his students. "Ok, you all have one hour to prepare whatever it is that you were challenged to make. Do not disappoint. It has to be dramatic, it has to taste good, and it has to look nice. At the end of the round, we will all judge your creations, but the specialist of our field will address whether you pass or fail." Then, he looked over at all of us in the crowd. "Ok, you've heard what they have to do…now…BEGIN!" He threw his hands on the ground, white smoke erupted, and he vanished. I looked over to my left to see him sneaking along the wall, trying to disappear without someone noticing. Amateur.

Just like that, everyone started getting busy. I wanted to just watch Ruby, but I figured I would watch everyone else as well. Ruby was busy taking flour and some eggs and whipping up enough cake batter to fill up six cake pans. She was doing it dramatically by tossing the eggs in the air and slicing off the egg shells with her claws. The yolk would fall right into the giant bowl and the remainders of the eggs just fell into small holes to escape. I looked at the judges. Beatrice seemed pleased at her egg removal.

Pantu was taking it easy, it looked like. He had stepped back to bring out a giant rack of mammoth ribs. I could hear him struggling as he was pulling it out on a sled. I saw his instructor run out to help him and I heard, "Why not just lift it up and carry it?"

Pantu panted and said, "I'm covered in fur! Do you want this thing covered in my _fur_?"

They brought the slab of mammoth ribs to his part of the kitchen and he started creating a marinade while his instructor started warming up the giant fire pit with the metal grill hanging over it.

I scratched my head at that. I thought the instructors were battling their students. So, I stood up and walked over to the judges' table. One of them noticed me and nodded a greeting. It was the Salad guild guy. "Do you have a question, ma'am?"

I nodded and pointed to Pantu and his instructor. "I thought the students and the instructors were battling each other."

Beatrice looked at me and squinted their eyes. "The instructors are acting as aids to their students. They will follow their students leads and help them prepare their challenge. Their individual battles were done during the hour course. Sorry for any confusion, ma'am. But the students you see now are the only ones who _beat_ their instructors in battle."

I nodded, feeling more confused now. I walked back to my seat and sat down. I could feel the milk in my boot sloshing around. I could already smell the milk going bad. And everyone around me was splashed with it. Man…no one thought about the consequences of their actions, do they? Now, for the next hour, we were all going to smell like rotten milk.

I sat back down, looking at Berner. He was walking into the room with his giant cooler filled with…I'm guessing his 'special formula'. I will admit, it will be nice to see the judges drink it. Just to see the look on their faces when they learn what it _really_ is. Berner was setting the cooler down, pulling out a draining tube, and letting some of his 'formula' spill out into a giant bowl. Once he got enough, he poured in a few different types of milk into a different glasses. He then started putting his purple substance into the glasses, mixing it up, and sipping each one for a taste value. He repeated this process, changing how much of his 'formula' was added. I don't know how he can drink that.

Primrose looked flustered and was still looking at us, her eyes wide and her face flushed of any color. Her instructor was standing beside her, asking her questions and demanding that she start moving, which was only making her more flustered. She finally screamed in surprise and flew under her table. Her instructor grabbed the bridge of her nose in what I assumed was frustration (a concept I was very used to).

I looked in the back at Grub. He was boiling water and preparing a bunch of onions and some herb ready for the pot. He smiled and screamed, "WAHOO!" He threw the onions in the air. "Orc Slice!" He had a sword that looked like a trident (three blades running parallel but separated by an inch or so…all connected to hilt.) He slashed with his sword a few times and the inions miraculously exploded into perfect slices and cubes, falling into the boiled water. He then began preparing his herb…which I thought was nightshade.

The judges noticed it too. The salad guy said, "What is he thinking? Is he really an assassin trying to kill us?"

The Argonian stuck up her hand to silence him. "Shush…do you see that other herb?"

He looked closer at the other herb, something red. "Is that…ginseng? From Cyrodiil? But…won't that?"

The Argonian nodded, crossing her arms in a snobby manner. "Yes…nullify the poisonous effects of the nightshade, while still having the draining effect, not to mention ginseng's burden will also drag us down. Lo…he is making quite the dramatic soup, for if he does not get that dose just right, it won't put us to sleep, and if he puts too much in…it might kill us. And him too, since he has to taste it first." She stood up and started clapping her hands. "You can do it, Grub-lord!"

"I'm going to be a god…" He called back.

I face-palmed. Great…if I took that as how I wanted to take it…I would think that he would purposely made it fatal and just kill himself. But…that didn't seem right.

I looked back at Ruby, who had filled all the cake pans with batter. She stood up on top of the table and looked to her instructor. "PULL!"

Her instructor started making hand-signs as she closed her eyes in concentration. The pans started levitating. I looked back at Ruby to see her hands glowing with magicka fire. The instructor launched the pans of batter into the air and Ruby unleashed several fireballs at the base, all of them hitting their marks. She held the pressure for a few seconds before reaching down and grabbing two tubes filled with pink and blue icing. She looked over to her instructor and said, "Are you ready to coat them?"

Her instructor nodded, her hair floating straight up as she commanded a giant bowl of white icing to float up. Ruby placed a giant rubber spatula in her teeth. She nodded to the instructor and then looked over to the judges. She looked over at me and I thought for a second that…she might not return from this…whatever it was. Then she just…vanished. Well, she didn't vanished, she flashed. The bowl of icing suddenly became empty and the cake suddenly became stacked and covered with an even layer of white icing. Ruby landed on the table with a silent _–thud-._

She held up her little bags of icing and looked up at the cake that was how beginning to fall while still under the levitation spell. Ruby pushed up and vanished into her flash again. I watched as she flew all around the cake, laying perfect decorations along the side while being partially invisible to everyone else around. People around me gawked in silence. Ruby landed on the table again and a Magelight appeared over the cake, illuminating it. I must admit, it looked pretty damn awesome.

Ruby smiled and rubbed her nose in a triumphant pose. Her instructor sneezed and lost her hold on the cake. The cake dropped and fell…right on top of Ruby while she was still posing.

Everyone screamed out in horror as the top of the cake exploded and Ruby stuck her head out. "Ow…" She said. Then she looked over at her instructor and said, "How much time we have left?"

She looked at the clock. "15 minutes. Oh my gods…not enough time to bake a new one!"

Both Ruby and Beatrice stood up and said as one. "THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH TIME TO BAKE A NEW ONE!"

Ruby brushed off the cake off her uniform and started whipping up new icing and batter, flashing while she did so. The instructor went back to preparing new icing bags for the decorations.

I looked back over at Pantu to see him using his claws to cut into the giant mammoth ribs. It looked like he was tenderizing them while they cooked from the bottom. He then jumped into the air with a giant brush. "Ancient air art! Giant wave!" He dipped the brush into the bowl of his sauce and unleashed it onto the giant rack of ribs. A giant wave of sauce flew off his brush, landing perfectly on the ribs. Once he landed he cast the rest of the sauce into the fire pit.

"Why did he do that?" Beatrice asked Stros as she looked at Pantu.

Stros smiled. "He's making the smoke the same flavor as his barbeque sauce. Very clever, but I wonder if it will work. It takes a fine nose to make sure that fire and smoke do not ruin the meat."

_A fine nose?_ I thought. _That's a Khajiit, alright. Can't beat their noses._

Berner smiled as he started pouring out glasses of his light purple milk. "Ah, just in time. Only five minutes left."

Primrose was still hiding under the table with the instructor just standing there, looking down at her. "Primrose darling…you only have five minutes. You should begin making your salad."

"Mmm, nya." She replied. She stuck her eyes above the counter and looked over at us. I saw her lower her eyes again and I heard her whisper something.

"A mean Nord with scary eyes keeps looking at you?" The instructor asked, looking over at me. "Oh come now…she's not a Nord…too skinny."

_What?_ I had half a mind to go and tear her Dunmer ears off for saying that.

Primrose stood back up and looked around the counter with all the vegetables. "Ok…I need lettuce, spinach, carrots, garlic powder, and vampire dust."

"Vampire dust?" Stros asked as he looked over at the salad guy whose name I did not remember.

The guy nodded and said, "Right, we wanted it to _explode_ with flavor. Adding garlic powder and vampire dust will cause an explosion…of flavor. Since vampire's can't handle garlic. The garlic will cause the vampire dust to erupt and evaporate, leaving only the scarred remains of the vegetation, singed with the bitterness of the vampire dust and the….whatever the taste of garlic is."

"You have one minute remaining!" Darius called out.

Frantically, I looked over to Ruby, who was just now levitating the cake above her head. She flashed up, spreading the white icing on first.

"45 seconds!"

Ruby landed on the table, grabbing the packets of icing. She pushed off the table again, flashing around the cake, creating even more beautiful designs than before.

Grub sipped his soup and grabbed his throat. He gurgled something before passing out onto the ground. We all gasped, but he stood back up and waved to us. "Not dead yet!"

Pantu was just now using his claws to cut up the ribs into smaller portions and placing them on giant plates as big as him.

Primrose was adding vampire dust with the garlic powder. It exploded into a giant green fireball in the shape of a skull with bones making as 'X' underneath it. Primrose coughed as she stepped back and grabbed the giant bowl of leafy stuff.

Oh…

Leafy stuff…salad. Ok, that's a salad.

Berner was just leaning on his arm, yawning because he was done.

"30 seconds!"

Ruby finished with her designs. She landed on the table and allowed a breath out as her limiters came crashing down. I could see her shaking and breathing hard. This had to be hard on her.

"Ruby…I can't hold it. It's too heavy." Her instructor cried out and then she fell backwards, grabbing her head in pain.

Ruby looked up to see the cake falling again.

"10…"

Ruby reached up and spread her hands out to catch it.

"9…"

"No!"

"8…"

The cake started to close in on her.

"7…"

Ruby took in a deep breath, spreading her arms out, and widening her eyes. The cake stopped moving and everyone around us stopped talking. Ruby was holding the cake up by just…glaring at it.

I groaned as I rubbed my eyes in annoyance. She was using the bardic glare to freeze it in place.

"6…"

"Veronica…I can't hold this forever." Ruby said through a strained voice over to her assistant, not pulling her eyes away from the cake.

"5…"

Pantu finished placing the ribs on the plates.

Veronica, Ruby's assistant stood up, holding her head in slight pain. She rushed as she grabbed the giant cake plate.

"4…"

Veronica took the plate from Ruby. Ruby allowed the glaring contest to end and she fell backwards, falling off the table and crashing onto the ground.

"3…2…1…Ok, put down your spatulas!" Darius called.

Ruby stood up and brushed off her chef uniform. It still looked like a mess. Then again, she did infuse herself into a six-layered cake during a dramatic battle. Damn you, disclaimer. Damn you.

Darius walked over to Ruby and said, "Are you ok?"

She nodded a little while rubbing the back of her head. "Yeah, but I got frosting stuck in my ears…that will take forever to get out."

Darius looked over everyone's dishes and said, "Right after this commercial break…we will do the judging part of this competition." He snapped his fingers and winked.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Wow...almost thought Ruby wasn't going to make it for a second. Was it just me or did that time just seem to...blink away and then slow to a crawl? No... just me? Ok._


	47. Ch 47: The conclusion

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, finally, a conclussion to this side-quest. Now we can get back to finding the vampire... Oh wait..._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I cannot believe I just sat through an hour of food preparation. The Glass Chefs called a ten minute break to let the kids relax a bit and to go clean themselves up. Ruby needed it the most. While everyone was washing up, the Glass Chefs gathered in a tight circle and started discussing what they thought about every single battle. I couldn't hear anything, but I didn't see many frowns. Since I don't do dramatic battles, I don't know what to think and I'm not sure if they will appreciate Ruby using a bard technique for a baking battle._

_Babette is sitting beside me now. Wearing a giant hat that obscures her face and she changed her dress so she couldn't be identified by her clothes. When she sat down, she informed me that she was going to go back there again soon. She got half a meal and wanted to finish it. Prime ribs just taste that good, I guess._

_Well, the students are coming back out now._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The glass Chefs stood up and waved the students to come over to their judging booth. The five students lined up according to their respective food critic. Ruby was in front of Beatrice, Pantu in front of Stros, Primrose in front of Nucleus, Grub in front of Zaliika, and Berner in front of Darius.

Darius motioned to everyone. "Congratulations, everyone. Now…everyone but Ruby step back a few steps."

The other students all stepped back and a giant spotlight fell onto Ruby. She looked around nervously, but I could tell that she was more excited than she was scared. Yeah, just like her.

"Ruby…you destroyed a cake." Stros started, leaning forward. "While posing…"

Ruby looked down. "Yes, I did."

Beatrice looked over at Stros and said, "But, you also refused to give up and you crafted a whole new cake in the short amount of time you had left. We all had a piece and while Stros found a piece of blue hair in his cake, we all enjoyed it. Your flash-spun batter was light and fluffy. The taste was inviting, the icing was perfectly layered. The designs were within the high standards of the Bakers Guild. All and all, we found nothing wrong with the actual cake, alone the one piece of blue fur that we found."

Ruby smiled. "…I don't have blue fur."

Stros glanced at her hair. "Your mane is lavender. I can guess that I misread the color a bit."

Ruby glanced down in nervous anticipation. I felt sorry for her just standing here.

"But, as for your dramatic spirit…" Nucleus started. He kissed his fingers to his lips and made some sort of smacking sound. "it was superb. The way you sliced the eggs, declared that you would make a new cake even though your instructor told you it was impossible. The way you…held the cake suspended in mid-flight with just your bardic training. Just…amazing."

Beatrice nodded and faced Ruby. "Ruby Battle-Born. You have passed this initiation test. Your cake, presentation, and your dramatic effect were all brilliant. Please step back." She looked over at Pantu. "Pantu, please step forward."

Pantu stepped forward, not looking worried at all. The way he had his arms crossed with that snarling smile told me that he was happy failing just as much as passing. I wish he'd take this a little more seriously, but maybe he just thinks like I do. Shouldn't worry once it's all done, just wait to hear whether it was good enough in the long end.

Zaliika smiled at Pantu. "Well, brother. I am glad I talked you into joining the Grillers Guild. Your home-made recipe is just how I remembered it years ago."

Stros looked over at Zaliika and nodded. He looked back at Pantu and said, "Yes, I agree. While I don't take many Khajiits into grilling, under Zaliika's guarantee that you'd create wondrous dishes, I really didn't have much choice. We don't have many chefs at all that can create Khajiit cuisine, but you came right home with it. Was that your family recipe?"

Pantu nodded. "Yes, sir. It's a recipe that we make all the time in the sands of Elsweyr. My parents taught me how to make it while we were on our travels."

Stros nodded. "Now, onto taste. The taste was…unique. Not only did it taste like heaven on the top of the rack with the special sauce that you created, but it had that crispy bottom that was singed as well. You managed to use the fire and the smoke to your advantage, capturing the taste of the cedar wood and the sauce in your meat. And with all the shredding you did with your claws, it came right off the bone. It takes a lot of talent to tenderize mammoth, but you did so perfectly."

Nucleus crossed his arms and leaned back. "Your dramatic tension was however…deplorable. The only dramatic thing you did was when you jumped up into the air and splashed the sauce down onto the meat." Nucleus stuck his fingers down. "I'm sorry, you lose on the dramatic side."

Beatrice and Zaliika both glanced at him, confused. Beatrice looked back up at Pantu. "Well, I thought it was pretty dramatic when he jumped on top of the meat and started clawing at it, while the fire was still cooking from below."

"And I found it dramatic when he just…" Zaliika made a cutting motion with her hand. "cut the giant slab of mammoth in fifths with just _one_ claw slash. Can _you_ cut a giant slab of mammoth hide with one claw slash?" She directed the question to Nucleus.

Nucleus shook his hand. "Well, no… but I don't have.."

Zaliika stuck up her claw at him. "Nuh-uh. Don't want to hear it. You can't do it…" She sang the last part in a mocking fashion.

Finally Stros was looking at Pantu. "Pantu, your final grade. Pass. Your presentation of the ribs was delightful. It looked tender, evenly spread, and it looked good and burnt on the bottom. The dramatic effect of just using your claws throughout the battle, while disgusting if you don't wash them (which I saw that you did…a lot) was adequate. Next time try to scream a little more, pretend to pull a nail or something and get all rallied up to continue on. And finally, the taste of your ribs was as I mentioned earlier, excellent. You may step back."

Nucleus looked at Primrose. "Primrose, step forward."

When she didn't move, Nucleus sighed. "Everyone else…step back."

Everyone started to step back and Primrose was starting to follow as well. Nucleus stood up and said, "Paralyze!" A light ball of green energy flew from his hands and smacked Primrose. When the spell started taking effect, Nucleus said, "Primrose, if you can hear me, grunt."

"Mmm." She said in return.

Nucleus nodded. "Good. Next time…step forward." He leaned back against his chair.

Beatrice shook her head and looked over to Primrose. "Primrose, during the entire hour…I wasn't sure if you were sleeping, or just…procrastinating. Seriously, what were you doing down there?"

"Mmm mmn nnmmm." She replied.

Beatrice nodded, like she understood. "Ok, fair enough. We tried your salad, and while we were still put off my throwing the remains of a dead person…in the salad…we were delightfully pleased with the results. There were no remains, not even one spec of vampire crap. The entire dish was amazing, slightly burnt, yes, but amazing. It had that garlic taste with the hint of gothic attitude. Tasty, on the edge, I liked it."

Zaliika nodded. "Yes, the taste was good and I guess an hour to prepare a salad is a lot of time. I liked that when you did get in the game just how fast and calculating you were. I watched you as you sliced through the carrots with practiced ease. Some might say that chopping that fast is a talent and the way the carrots came out…I'd say that they're right. And while the Imperial Salad is an easy dish and usually the blandest, you found a way to make it good. And all within the course of a few minutes."

I could see Primrose fall forward and she caught herself. She stepped forward, reclaiming her balance. The spell must have worn off. She glanced around at the judges and spun herself around. "Thank you!" She squeaked out.

Darius smiled and shook his head. "Now, onto the dramatic effect. As Zaliika mentioned, you acted at the last minute. But before then, you hid. And you hid…and you hid. We wondered if you were ever going to move. As such…the drama was building…and building. The suspense was killing me as I looked at the clock. 'She has to get started'. I kept thinking. You almost had me climbing out of my seat just to tell you to begin. And then…at the last few minutes, you snapped into action; I fell into my seat, grabbing my frantic heart. And then…BOOM. Your salad exploded into a giant green cloud of a skull and crossbones. Very dramatic. You were probably the most dramatic of them all."

Primrose sank to her knees. "thank you.." I think I heard her squeak out.

Nucleus nodded at Darius and looked over at Primrose. "Primrose…rise." He said with a gravelly voice. "Your salad was fantastic. For such an ordinary dish, you really dished it out. The drama was mounted and preformed to the last second. You pass. You may now go hide behind Berner or something."

Primrose moved so fast that I almost didn't see her move. She flew behind Pantu and remained motionless.

Babette was beside me, squirming in her seat. "I wanna eat." She said.

I looked back at her and said, "Then go. The judges are busy."

"I know, I know, I know!" Babette struggled. "But…I wanna know who wins!"

I sighed as I looked away. "I remember when you used to act scary and not so childish."

When I looked back, Babette was inches away from my face. Her fangs were sticking out and her eyes were wide. It was enough to make me jump back. She smiled and said, "Gotcha." She sat back down in her seat, crossing her arms.

"Grub-Grub!" Zaliika seemed to scream out. "Please step…"

"WAHOO!" Grub screamed as he jumped into the air, performing a front flip before landing a foot away from the judging table.

Zaliika did not look impressed. "I thought we told you to taste the soup."

He nodded, "I did."

She looked at him. "And yet…you're still awake."

He smiled. "I'm immune to nightshade. Secret Hidden Stronghold death-squad training and all that."

Zaliika nodded, more to herself than to him. She reached under the desk and pulled out a bowl of his soup. She looked at it and said, "Because of the contents within this soup, we had to hold off drinking it until someone was done passing judgment." She looked down the line of Glass Chefs. "And I think I know who to give this too." She passed it to Nucleus and said, "Here, drink this."

Nucleus looked down at the soup. "What? No! Why?"

Zaliika looked oddly a lot like me right now, with her deadpanned eyes. "Because you annoy me. And the contents of the soup are herbs and vegetables. If anyone can give me an accurate description before they dramatically die or pass out…it would be you."

Nucleus sighed before taking the first sip. "Hmm…I can taste the nightshade, which is bothersome because the taste is usually followed by a numb throat and a still-beating heart." He waited for a few seconds before yawning and stretching his neck around. "I do feel…like my life is draining away, but…somehow, I feel like…it's not poisoned. I can taste the ginseng, heavy…taste…pillow." His head fell forward, smacking onto the table.

Stros checked him for a pulse. "His heart's still beating."

Zaliika nodded to Stros and looked over to Grub. "There, you made a successful sleeping soup. I do like how you knew that ginseng negated all poisons."

"It does?" He asked, scratching his head. "Oh…I mean…of course I knew that." He laughed deeply to himself.

Zaliika looked less sure now. "Yes…let's go with that. Using ginseng's burdening and nightshade's well…death was a good combo. You successfully made a sleeping soup. And the drama. The way you sliced those onions with your trident ninjato…brilliant. The way you grabbed your throat and pretended to die…perfectly executed. You performed wonderfully. I'm guessing the soup tastes good, but we can't really tell without passing out ourselves." She shrugged and said, "Just one more thing. Your name. It's Grub. Why not make your own catch-phrase. Instead of 'wahoo' try 'Time to get my Grub on'…"

Grub nodded. "I like that. Get the Grub on."

Zaliika nodded, sitting back. "You pass. Go ahead and go a backflip back to your spot."

Grub did just that, screaming his 'wahoo' as he performed a perfect backflip, landing next to Primrose, who screamed out in surprise when he landed next to her.

Darius pointed at Berner and waved his finger for him to approach. Berner smiled lopsidedly as he did so. He stepped forward, hands behind his back, his stride nice and simple. He looked relaxed…too relaxed for a guy who just gave them piss milk.

Darius pulled up a glass of his purple milk. I could not wait to hear what he had to say about it. It was going to be brutal.

"Berner, I don't know what you were thinking, but…" He glanced down at the milk and back up at him. "This…juniper milk?" He asked Berner, who nodded. "It has a weird taste to it. Almost like a meaty taste. Was that intentional?"

Berner nodded. "Why yes, yes it was."

Darius started handing out more glasses to everyone at the judging table. He looked at Nucleus and said, "Well, I guess Nuc will just have to miss out on a meaty dish." He looked at everyone else and said, "Please try some before I continue this."

The other Glass Chefs cautiously started drinking the alcoholic milk and Zaliika was the first one to do a spit-take. "What is this?" She asked and threw the glass away.

"It's alcohol." Berner replied.

She nodded and sighed. "I'm too young for alcohol, unfortunately. It tasted good, though."

Beatrice finished her glass and smacked her lips a few times, trying to get that aftertaste that I knew was coming. "It's sweet…bitter…and…meaty?" The last one was confusing for her.

Both Darius and Berner nodded. Berner said, "Yes, it has a pork aftertaste. It is because the base for my wine, icing, and now milk all comes from the livers/stomachs of my pigs. The pigs eat nothing but the berries I give them and when they come near the end of their lives, I kill 'em, gut 'em, and place their stomachs and livers in my freezer to ferment. That allows the acid within those organs to process the berry jam into an alcoholic paste that I use for all my concoctions."

The judges grew silent for a second. Stros placed his glass on the table silently and glanced down at it. "So…we've just…" He glanced around. "drank something that was in the belly of a pig?"

Berner nodded. "Yes, yes you did." He pointed back at me and said, "That Nord woman calls it 'pig urine'. She's quite familiar with my cooking methods."

I allowed a smile to grow on my face. I could not wait to see something happen to him. It was about time someone did something to that elf for all the times he made people drink or eat something before telling them it was covered in pig piss first.

Darius sighed. "That is…" He said, scratching the back of his neck. "the most genius idea I've ever heard of." He said, standing up. "Never has anyone ever taken the initiative, the time, the resources, to create a working berry paste from living livestock. The very thought that you could replicate the same paste over and over again means that you put in a lot of practice and patience into this design. It's…breathtaking." He said, grabbing his heart in a dramatic fashion.

Stros nodded. "And you introduced berries with meat. You've taken a step at creating something that all the guilds (with the exclusion of the Salad Guild) can use in their recipes as a balanced ingredient. One that blends meat and fruit. You've done the impossible, Berner."

Berner did not look shocked. He merely bowed and said, "I humbly thank you for your kind words." He glanced up at me and winked.

Ok, so I was wrong. I guess I was the only one who thought it was bad to drink piss.

Darius confirmed it by saying. "The taste of your milk, alcoholic content included, was indeed very special. I bow to you as a fellow alcoholic milk maker and welcome you into the Dairy Guild with honors. As such, your milk was amazing, but your drama was not there…at all. Once you were done, you just…leaned against your table and yawned. That is not drama. You should have pretended to clank your head on something and spilled your drink, making you have to start over again. It would have drawn a few laughs, at least. So, regardless, you win first prize for most creative dish."

Berner smiled, "Thank you."

Darius looked over at Primrose. "Primrose…" Then over to Ruby. "Ruby…" He shrugged. "You both tie for first place for the most dramatic experience. Ruby for her flash performance and then holding a cake centimeters above her head with a bardic glare. Primrose for her exquisite hiding performance and then exploding the salad with her garlic/vampire dust routine."

Primrose crouched behind Pantu and tried to smile. Ruby on the other hand was jumping up and down, almost tripping over her overlong pant legs.

Darius looked over at us and raised his spatula. He winked at us and said, "That concludes our epic Food Fight. For all of you watching on your crystal balls, I'm the Milk Man Darius Maximus and I'll see you…next time." He threw a packet of icing at the person recording the event on a crystal ball, a packet which exploded on impact.

I sighed as I leaned back in my seat. I was glad it was over. Babette was now standing up, saying, "I'm going in for seconds!" With that she dissolved into a stream of bats and flew off into the backroom.

Darius watched her fly by again and groaned as he rubbed his temple in annoyance. "Stros…little girl…your meat."

Stros stood up and ran into the backroom. "Hey! What did I say earlier…what? Who are you?"

"Whoa! I didn't see you in here." I heard Babette call.

"Um…hello?" I heard a soft female voice call. "I'm sorry, but I'm busy."

"Hey, lady…you can't just suck my meat without telling me first." Stros said. "Hey, little girl. Get off my meat! What did I just say?"

Babette chuckled. "Last time you said no eating…I'm sucking. Besides, this meat's nearly finished." She replied.

The other woman laughed as well. "I bet you won't mind if I suck your meat…" She said seductively. I could tell.

The sound of falling pots and pans was the only sound I heard next. Darius and the other judges, as well as the rest of the audience, all were watching the door that led into the backroom.

One little kid said, "Mommy? I don't get the joke."

She covered his ears and said, "That's a good thing, dear."

Finally I saw Stros walk outside, grabbing his neck in pain. "That woman sucked on my neck!" He said, rubbing it. "She better not have left a hickey."

Darius walked up to him. "How is your meat?"

He shrugged. "Ah, forget it. They want it, they can have it. I can't fight two of them at once. One of them took my prime rib, the other one was crewing on my rump roast. I couldn't get them off."

Darius patted him on the shoulder. "It's ok, buddy. We're here for you."

I watched as two sets of bats took off from the back and out the door. I bet Babette was now joining her new friend…another vampire I bet. Had to be, they were both back there, sucking on meat and they just flew out as a pair.

I started to stand up when I saw Ruby running over to me, her smile as big as her face. She collided into my stomach, giving me a tight hug. "I won!" She screamed high-pitched. She pulled back and showed me her new plastic id card with her picture on it. "I'm a certified Bakers Guild member now."

I nodded. "So, what does that mean? Are you leaving with them?"

Ruby shook her head. "No, I don't have to join any branches. Just like a bard, I can travel the world and cook for people as I see fit. I'm just recognized now."

We started making our way outside the inn. I was surprised at how fast night had fallen around us. I looked around, hoping to see Babette somewhere. She was sitting in a chair with a piece of steak. Sitting across from her was a taller woman, early twenties like myself. She was making love to a steak, the same way Babette eats. She had black shoulder-length hair, a red blouse…oh. It was the vampire we were looking for. She must have come back to Dragon Bridge for a quick snack. Oh. That makes sense.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: So, we have a new vampire. Intro is next chapter. Oh, and I hope no one's too badly offended at the off-handed jokes about Stros and his meat. I don't think people understood the joke the fist time, so I have to go overboard a bit._


	48. Ch 48: Convenience to no end

**Cearbhail:**_ New chapter. Yay. Very fast, short. But, it's an opening to something else entirely. Hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The past day has been hectic. We were dragged into a long chapter of baking and drama and I thought to myself…by the time we find this vampire, everything will be over. Well, I was half correct. As in, it's half over._

_But on the bright side, we found her. She came to us on a meat platter. Yeah, yeah, I know. I suck at telling jokes. I'm just not as funny as Asger or Esbern. Oh yeah, speaking of him, guess who's also in town? I kinda ruined it, didn't I? Yeah, Esbern's here. Buying some treats and food supplies for the Blades' Headquarters. But now that he's here, he's just going to send Brelyna back instead. Oh yeah, she's here too. She's a Blade inductee. Delivered to the temple while she was injured, I guess. Well, now she's one of us. And yes, I almost had forgotten that I'm a Blade now. Weird. But, am I always wearing the armor, well…until it rusted away from milk being sprayed on me it was._

_Now, the um…Ruby, Pantu…Brelyna, Argonian girl, Esbern…two vampires…screw it, my head hurts. The lot of us are now going out of town to discuss what's going on. Oh, wait. Brelyna is on her way back to the temple, so she doesn't count. Oh wait…she's joining us for a few minutes. Damn it! Having this many people in a group is just painful to think about. I can't wait until we're back to being a short party._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The whole bunch of us (more than I'd like to count), gathered around in a tight circle outside the town. I must admit, it was a nice location. Next to the giant gaping cliff filled with sharp jagged rocks, sun was setting in a beautiful way, and the nice relaxing ear-crushing roar of the waterfall right next to us. It was a nice place to shove vampires off the edge of the world if need be.

"Can we hurry this up?" Brelyna asked. "I have to return all this to home." She gestured to the four carts filled with vegetables, seeds, packaged Frost covered meats, and a whole cart full of living chickens and roosters. Oh and she had a cart filled with Cup's Cakes. I just knew she had a purple one in there somewhere. Now that every chef in the world approves of Berner's methods, I kinda wanted one now. That many people cannot be wrong about something like that.

Esbern shifted on his rock that was digging in his butt. "Right. So…why are you after vampires?" He said, looking up at me and then at Babette and the new girl.

I looked at the new girl and said, "This vampire right here is involved in some sort of plot that may or may not end with the sun being blot out. If the sun is, then some sort of super clan of vampires is going to rip through our world and claim it as their own."

Esbern nodded, rubbing his beard as he did so. "I see." He turned to look at Serana and said, "So, vampire. Where do you stand on this issue?"

For her credit, she didn't move an inch. She leaned forward and sniffed Esbern. "You smell like garlic and mothballs. I'm not allergic to garlic, just so you know. I actually enjoy the taste."

He sighed and looked over at Brelyna. "Great…another one."

Serana looked over at me now, meeting my gaze. "You were looking for me, why?"

Babette answered that. "Isran wanted us to help you with whatever it was that you needed done. You're trying to prevent the sun from going away, so…we're here to help."

Serana looked down at Babette. "You can turn into bats…and grow wings. You're a vampire lord, aren't you? So, why are you helping me instead of helping my father?"

Babette tossed her hair to the side and she crossed her arms and looked away. "Your father was responsible for my turning in the first place. While I do love and hate being eternally young…I hate the thought of the sun going away. No sun means no plants, means no air, means no meat, means…I'll starve." She grabbed her stomach in pain. "I can't live without something to suck on."

I actually hadn't come to that conclusion yet, but Babette was right. Without the sun, most of our plants and flowers could not grow. It would only be a time before most of our plants would die off, then the animals that ate the plants. That would limit our carnivores and then…we'd run out of food. We'd all starve. The vampires would outlive it all. That was what the vampires were planning. Without the sun, they could move freely and without restriction. And if we started dying off after a few years, it would make us weak and defenseless. Oh my gods…I had to stop this.

Serana only nodded. "Yes, all that is true. So, what we need to do is…go find two more elder scrolls and a bow."

"WHAT?" Almost everyone shouted at once.

Serana seemed to groan and looked away. "I gave my elder scroll to a Moth Priest that I rescued. He wanted to read it right away so he glanced at it without telling me beforehand. According to what he said this is the following things he needs before we can continue moving on: we need to find two more elder scrolls that pertain to our situation (both in Skyrim, I'm guessing) and locate Ariel's Bow, which has been hidden away conveniently in Skyrim, instead of the land of the elves where it was originally given by Ariel…God of the elves." She shrugged and said, "And then he passed out. He's resting in the inn while I thought I'd get a bite to eat." She chuckled.

Esbern stood up and looked over at Brelyna. "Brelyna…do you still have our elder scroll?"

She nodded and reached into her mage robes. "Yes, conveniently…I decided to bring it with us just in case we needed it. Again." She pulled out the elder scroll that had belonged to Asger, but was handed off to M'aiq, who ran into Brelyna, who decided to keep it within her person at all times. Yes, I'm guessing at this point. Knowing how our world works, I bet that's what happened.

My head started swimming at how nothing seemed to add up anymore. I thought Asger had the elder scroll. I thought he had it when we fought Alduin, when I punched his stomach out. I thought he had the scroll with him all the way up to Windhelm. When did Brelyna get it? "When did you get the scroll?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Asger. I was out for a run to Solitude to buy a new spell book and I ran into Asger. He was in a hurry and we bumped into each other. I was busy with my nose in a book and because he took me by surprise, when he crashed into me, several fireballs shout out my body. My fireballs blew up some shopping stalls. People…screaming, running, tripping over their feet." She grabbed her head. "It was too much noise. In my frantic state, I summoned Fiora and she was feeding off of my worry. She started shooting fireballs everywhere, guards shooting arrows. So, to protect myself, I had to summon Frosty. He ran around, freezing people. Next thing I know, someone who's scheduled to be beheaded took the opportunity to run away. More guards, soldiers, running around. Asger was laughing his ass off, this Argonian following him around tried to kill him, so I attacked him. He attacked me. Fiora attacked Frosty, Sparks summoned himself. He started attacking everyone. Asger was still laughing. Bards attacked the bakers, Imperials attacked me, attacked the Argonian, and attacked Asger. Next thing I knew, we were all in chains."

Esbern threw his hands up to stop her. "Enough about the fighting, Brelyna. What happened next? To you being in chains?" He leaned forward, clearly interested in this conversation. "Be very descriptive. Were you chained to a wall, a bed?"

If Brelyna caught onto the old man's perverted question, she didn't acknowledge it. "No, nothing like that." She said, shaking her head. "I had my hands bound behind my back, which was bound to Asger, who was bound to the Argonian."

"The Argonian." Ruby started, leaning forward, her face scrunched up in worry. "How was he? Was he injured?"

Brelyna shook her head. "No, just scratched. He looked pretty small in comparison to me. But he was so strong, I couldn't put a dent in him, neither could all the soldiers."

Ruby relaxed. "That's good. Thanks."

Brelyna looked over the group and said, "Well, back to how I got the elder scroll. Once we were in chains, Asger requested an audience with General Tullius. I was allowed to come, M'aiq as well. We were stuffed in a small room and this Nord woman who doesn't seem to know how to relax paced around the room, glaring at us. She knew Asger somehow and the blind girl who flew up six years of age since I last saw her. The woman actually didn't believe that the teenager was really the little blind girl from before. So, the blind girl said these following words 'When Legate Rikke was a little girl, she kissed Galmar Stone-Fist. And then as a teenager…' At that time the Legate covered her mouth, convinced that she was the blind girl from earlier."

Serana, at this time, stood up and started brushing her pants off. "Well…ok. I can tell that this conversation no longer is about me or what I need to do. So…I'll just go and get it done."

Esbern and Babette both jumped up and dragged her down. Babette screamed, "No! You must cross this bridge now! Before you know it, this will be everyday life for you."

Serana screamed out as Esbern started tying a rope around her. "No! I'd rather burn in the sun than listen to this!"

We all turned our attention back to Brelyna, who looked shocked. "Am I really that boring?"

"Not at all, dear." Esbern said to her. "Please, so…what happened next?"

Brelyna rubbed the back of her head. "Right. So…we're in the office with the Nord woman, who, despite knowing Asger, is angry at him for an unknown reason that has no way of connecting with the street disaster. Then Asger told her about some axe that he kept with him and wanted to give to her and Tullius. I thought he was talking about his dick until she asked to see it and the message that came with it as well as asking who was delivering it."

Esbern looked confused. "War axe? What's going on?" He looked over at me.

I shrugged. "War summit in Whiterun. We're bringing the Stormcloaks and the Imperial Legion together to discuss the apparently rising Thalmor threat and how we can deal with them. I'm supposed to deliver a war axe to my uncle before the Empire marches up and meets them. The meeting is in a month, so I have to hurry."

Serana groaned. "Oh, now we're talking about _her_ problems? Does no one care that my father is attempting to blot out the sun?"

Esbern shushed her and turned back to me. "What are you doing up here then? Shouldn't you be in Whiterun?"

I pointed to Serana and said, "I'm up here because I was trying to find her. My team was rounded up by the Dawnguard and now…we have to help her, while trying to meet the war council, defeating the Thalmor, _and_ beating Alduin. And apparently while contending with the Bakers Guild and the Bards Guild."

Esbern looked over at Serana. "So, some of this is about her after all. So, what are we going to do about all of this?"

Serana sighed and closed her eyes. "I have lived for centuries…a few minutes of pointless dribble will not break me." I could hear her mumble to herself. She was starting to remind me of Erandur, the Dunmer we helped in Dawnstar. He was currently located in a mental institute. He lost his mind and keeps complaining about idiots talking about nonsense around him. I wondered if she was going to end up the same way. And why I haven't already.

I looked back at Esbern and shrugged. "Right. So, we need one more scroll and a bow. I suggest we split up into two teams, each one of us looking for the other." I grabbed Serana by the hand and said, "She, and I, as well as Ruby, will go find this scroll. The rest of you…will go find the bow."

"How will we find the bow?" Esbern asked. "Where is it located?"

"Not to mention the elder scroll." Ruby said. "We don't know where that is."

I grabbed my head in slight frustration. "Erg…if only Cecilie was here with her immense knowledge and foresight."

"Excuse me." Someone said from the road. It looked like a secret Thalmor agent. "Which one of you is Lydia Battle-Born?"

I raised my hand slowly. "I am?"

"I have something for you…" He reached into his jacket like he was about to pull out a knife. I cautiously readied myself for an attack. "A letter." He handed it to me. "Yeah, passed to me three days ago. Told me to come here to this stop at this hour. What's in it?"

I took the letter. "Hmm. Don't know, but it smells referency." I ripped it open and started to read it aloud. "Dear mother. If my psychic eye is right then this letter should get to you moments after the salmon falls down the waterfall and shatters a hunter's groin. You should go help him, soon. But, the answer you seek is obvious. The bow's location is jotted down on a map inside with the letter. The elder scroll is jotted down as well. Don't worry. Just ask Serana where her mother went to escape her father all the time. Then a little sewer diving will suite you well. But you really don't need the elder scrolls anymore. So, I suggest you all just go find the bow and get it over with. I have sent another letter to Isran, warning him to meet us all up at the castle. There, we will all fight. Well, Asger is coming to punch Isran in the face. He doesn't know why, just that the gods of comedy demand it. Signed, Convenient time-saver."

I tossed the note aside and grabbed the map. Both of the locations were up in the north. Hmm… Good thing we were up north. Let's get this over with. I showed the map to Serana and said, "I guess we're going to wherever this is."

Serana nodded and smiled. "And then afterwards, I'll deal with my father and mother."

"Help! Help!" I heard a cry come up from behind us. "This fish came out of nowhere and crushed my naughty bits. I…I can't walk. Someone? Help?"

I groaned and looked down at Babette. "Babette? Please?"

She smiled and took off, jumping off the cliff. "Oh? What? What are you? No, no…please!" Then he screamed. "oh, oh…that feels good. How…how did you do that?"

"A vampire's bite can numb your body. Just…relax while we get help. And cover your _neck_. If anyone sees vampire bite marks on your _neck_, people will suspect you'll become one." Babette called out. Just loud enough for us to hear her. Then she came flying over the ridge, huge wings unfolded. She touched down on the ground and smiled at us. "Right, I'm going to get some guards to help him. After that, can we leave?"

I looked over at Serana. "Well?"

She shrugged. "Sure, let's just cut out half the campaign and just get to the end. I'm fine with that."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I am happy that I'm done with Shoutmen. Now I can focus on this, shadowscale, and melencholy of cecilie. Yay, me._


	49. Ch 49: Werewolves

**Cearbhail:**_ Another new chapter, unless you've read this twice, then it's a repeat. And if you read it a third time, congrats... for no reason. So, found out one of my buddies actually has an account on this site. My rival, you might say. Fencing manager, kendo manager, both have practices in the same building at the same day, on the same hour. Yeah, it's rivalish. Well, anyway, now we're writing rivals, as well as Russian speaking rivals. Grr..._

_Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Ok. So, we've all split up. Having a convenient letter, or no…we've decided to split up our team. Ok…It was my idea. But…It just wasn't enough. Pantu wants to stay with us so he can deliver a full report to the Thieves Guild about this whole adventure. Because of his wanting to stay, his Argonian girlfriend Zaliika wants to stay with us as well. Brelyna may be leaving to the temple, but Esbern's staying. Then there's the Thalmor delivery guy. He wants to find this bow as much as we do. So now we have a Thalmor spy following us. Thought about killing him, but I haven't seen a reason to yet. Then we also have Ruby who wants to come with us but also does not want to be around Pantu, even knowing that he's with the Argonian Glass Chef. And then there's Serana and Babette. Babette wants to hang out with her new 'sister' and Serana wants nothing more than to leave us. It's just…too chaotic._

_So, I proposed a different act. Everyone go one direction, and the rest of us... being me and myself…go another. When that didn't fly…because Ruby won't leave my side and neither will Serana, which means Babette as well, we broke the team up. Esbern, Zaliika, Pantu, and the Thalmor guy are going one direction, to find the bow. Ruby, Babette, Serana, and myself are going in another direction to find this bow. It's a game. We spread out and see who finds it first. Like a race. Almost. It's better this way, smaller teams, and all that. Ok, we're starting._

_Lydia…_

_…_

A couple hours had passed since we split up our teams. While traveling in a smaller team was fun, I was beginning just how everyone was doing. I mean, I hadn't talked to Esbern in a while and I was curious if Cecilie had made it to the temple or not. I mean, she left for the temple the same time I left to talk to my uncle. Something that only been a week ago. Unless she stopped to create misfortune I don't really see just how she could have not arrived by now. It was bothering me.

"Hey, Esbern!" I screamed and turned around.

There, just far enough for me to scream for his name, was Esbern and his group. He was old while we were not, so he walked slower than our group. Good, that eliminated his chances of winning our race. Esbern looked up at me. "What? Did you call my name?"

"Yeah, old man! Did Cecilie ever make it to Sky Haven Temple?" I screamed as loud as I could

"Did Cecilie ever mock the Sky Haven Temple?" He yelled back. "I sure hope not!"

"NO!" I screamed back. "Make it! Did she make it to the temple?!"

"Did she make out with the temple? What's wrong with you woman?" He shouted to me. "Why are you dissing our culture? You know kissing the statue of Talos is acceptable!"

"NO! YOU CRAZY OLD COOK! I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU SAW CECILIE IN THE PAST WEEK! DID SHE MAKE IT TO THE TEMPLE?" I shouted so loud that I could hear my voice reverberating off the walls of snow that surrounded all of us. We were already down the giant wall of rocks and snow and on our way to the cave. It was south and very west of us. Only a few hours of walking. Nothing too hard, I guess.

"You callin' me a crook? You…I never stole anything over 25 gold in my life. And the nerve… asking if I ever saw Cecilie passing the meat! And then asking if I make it to her temple…You're sick, woman." He crossed his arms and turned around. "No, I do not wish to discuss this any further."

I face-palmed and stopped. This game that Esbern and I were playing was fun and all, but I wanted some answers for once. I finally looked over at Pantu and said, "Pantu…please."

Pantu nodded and walked up to Esbern. He whispered something and Esbern looked furious. "What? You let Cecilie walk to the temple alone? She's just a little girl!"

"She's 16, a teenager! And she's a Blade!" I screamed back. Gods…his memory was fading away with his age…as well as his hearing.

"I don't care if she's sexting a teenager that's a Blade. She's still a little girl!" Esbern called back. "And no, I haven't seen her yet. I'm sure Brelyna will message me once she arrives."

I face-palmed again before I decided to sit down. I looked up at the setting sun and figured now would be a good a time as any to set up camp for the night. We were in the middle of nowhere, one cliff of snow and ice on one side, and very dark and scary looking woods to the other. Yeah, this seemed like a good ambush point to sleep in. "Ok, I'm calling it a day. This is our camp. Everyone start setting up the fire pit and roll out the mats." My team followed quickly, sitting down around me. Ruby reached into her bag and pulled out a lot of dried pieces of wood, while Babette prepared to light it up on fire with her magic.

Ruby couldn't stop laughing over the whole thing. "Hehe, Esbern's really old."

"I'm not cold! Just because I don't have fur doesn't mean I'm always cold!" He shouted back, his team now joining us around the lit campfire.

Serana sighed and glanced over at me, covering her ears. "Can we please stop this game now? You're all driving me batty."

I crossed my arms and leaned back. "I still want to know how she ended up with the elder scroll. We got interrupted before we could find out."

"That and we never finished her tale about Asger's war meeting. Knowing him, I bet it was something incredible." Ruby smiled and leaned back.

Babette nodded. "Yes, I feel that we could have had some great story…but was cut out of it because we couldn't hold a single chain of thought long enough."

"Well, I can answer that." Esbern said, smiling and leaning forward. He sat down next to me and smacked me across the back of my head. "How dare you accuse me of stealing."

"I didn't say that!" I screamed at him, even though he was only inches away.

"Don't scream woman, I'm not deaf." _Could have fooled me. _I thought bitterly to myself as he started warming up a spell in his hands. "Illusion magic, Phantom Sending." A bright warm ball of magicka formed in his hand. When he tossed it out, the ball started to morph into an image of Brelyna.

The ghostly image of Brelyna stood at actual size. She was wrapped up in a towel and her hair was plastered to her side. "Esbern! Again? Didn't I tell you to stop trying to take me by surprise? I was in the middle of a bath."

Esbern scratched his nose. "I swear Brelyna, my dear…I have never tried to do this while you were bathing. It's always just…bad timing."

She nodded, not buying it. "Yeah, whatever. What do you need?"

"We want you to finish your story." Esbern said with a shrug.

"_Some_ of us do." Serana mumbled behind me. She stood up and started walking away. "I'll be right back. I suddenly have something more interesting to go do over there." She pointed at a tree.

"Like what?" Ruby called out.

"Like crap! Just because I'm immortal doesn't mean my bowels don't move." She called back, disappearing behind a bush.

Babette nodded. "Sadly…it's true. And there's always blood."

I suppressed the need to vomit and covered it with a weird cough. I turned my attention back to the ghostly image of Brelyna as she looked from me to Babette.

"Ok…" She said, making sure her towel was properly secured. She found a log or something to sit down on and made sure to cover as much of herself as she could. "Well, I told you about us being in chains."

"Yes, chains." Esbern started to smile. "To the wall, right?"

"No!" She yelled quietly. "To Asger. And he told the Nord woman…Legate Rikke about the axe he wanted to give to her. When he handed it to her, she handed it to Tulius. He scratched his head and tossed it aside like it was nothing. Then he asked why Ulfric would pass him an axe. Then Asger went onto this giant speech about axes and what they were about." She smiled as her hands started glowing. "Here, I can replay the memory."

Esbern shrugged. "Sure…"

With a flash of her eyes, we were suddenly teleported into a small Imperial office. Asger was chained up beside Brelyna. The both were pretty bruised up. Sitting in the corner of the room, covered in an excess of chains wrapped around his body, was Maleek. Sitting comfortably in a chair, sipping wine, was M'aiq. Figures. Oddly enough, Cecilie was here as well. I thought she was going back to the temple. Hmm, maybe she decided to go with Asger after all.

Tullius was holding onto the axe, his eyes curious. "And this…is an offering?"

Asger nodded. "Yes, an offering…of peace. When a man offers you his axe, you take it. It shows that the two of you are holding onto the same axe against all your foes, who would wish to take it and use it against you."

M'aiq chuckled from the side of the room. No one seemed to notice him sipping wine. "M'aiq finds it funny because axe sounds like ass." It made me face-palm because I could see him saying something like that.

Tullius scratched his head. "And Ulfric is just handing me his axe? He thinks that he can trust me with his axe?"

Rikke walked around the table. "You don't understand our traditions, sir. If Ulfric is handing you his axe on a silver platter, it means that he's willing to be your ally. He's placing his personal weapon in your hands with the knowledge that it may be used against him. Nothing hurts more than having an axe in the back. We all know that. But, this is important. It's a very personal matter. If you don't keep his axe, it means that the two of you have a score to settle. If you do hold onto his axe, it means that the two of you are at peace. Allies. Comrades. Brothers-in-arms."

"Don't ask, don't tell." M'aiq chuckled to himself. I rolled my eyes at his offbeat comments. There were in poor taste.

Asger nodded. "I told him about the report that you received about the Thalmor. Tullius…this is your chance. You two could team up and take back Skyrim and maybe even Cyrodiil. If you act fast, you can still get the element of surprise on the Aldmeri Dominion. Take them right from behind."

Tullius' face looked unconvinced and tossed the axe aside. "Yes, I agree about the Aldmeri Dominion has grown too powerful. They purposefully tried to execute one of my personally hired seers. That's against the rules…well would be if they didn't _write_ the rules. Just passed a day after the execution. Imperial Decree signed by the Emperor. Anyone the Aldmeri Dominion believes is a threat to the peace that we've worked so hard to create…is able to be killed on sight, no questions asked, no explanation required."

Maleek screamed through his muffle. "That's wrong!"

Ruby stood up and screamed, "You tell 'im, Maleek."

Tullius glanced at the Argonian and looked at the guards. "I think we don't need that wrap on his mouth. Apparently it's not going to work anyway." He glanced over at Asger and shrugged. "What I have not convinced myself to believe though is that attacking the Aldmeri Dominion is the right thing to do. We lost the war, we are now allied with the Thalmor. If we just…attack them, it will provoke another war. We don't need more pointless bloodshed. Right now, we should gather our strength and just...weather this storm until everything cools down. Besides, our allies seem…nice-ish. They haven't asked for much, just the banning of Talos worship."

"That's how it begins!" Asger said, stepping forward, only to be welcomed by two spears aimed at his throat. "You take away their god…their hope…their souls. You slowly strip away their rights; make them believe that you have the right to do so. Once everyone finds out what's been happening, no one stands a chance to change it. Everything will be gone! And if you believe that the Aldmeri Dominion will become placid. Just think about this. Imperial Decree. Anyone they believe is a threat…can be killed without hesitation or a second thought. And it can't be questioned. Does that sound 'nice-ish' to you?"

Tullius shook his head. "No, it doesn't." He stepped around, scratching his graying beard. "The Imperial Legion has always worked under a system. Take prisoners, unless provoked into combat, fair trial, execution. Sure, corrupted officials make bad calls and sometimes our legion can become a tool for political gain…but never this bad." He looked at Asger and nodded. "Fine, I will meet Ulfric in Whiterun. I hope he will not mind a platoon or two. I cannot just walk into a trap."

Asger nodded, smiling. "I'll be sure to send him a letter."

"I already did, Dad." Cecilie said, crossing her arms. "Can we go now?"

Asger stopped for a second. He looked up at the ceiling. "What? Punch Isran in the face? Oh, bardic gods of comedy…I will comply." He bowed. "I will punch him for you."

Just like that the image melted away. Ruby was rolling on the group, laughing uncontrollably. "I just got it. It sounded like they were saying 'ass'. Funny when you think of it like that."

The ghostly image of Brelyna nodded to everyone, still holding her towel up. "Is that everything? Can I get back to bathing? I see some hungry wolves watching me."

Esbern nodded. "Sure, but how did Asger give the scroll?"

She shrugged. "Just like this…" She cleared her throat. "Hey, Brelyna. I have to punch a guy in the face now. Here, take this scroll." She pranced around like she was Asger, forcing her voice into a deep mock-version of Asger's playful voice. It made him sound stupid. "And if you run into Lydia, tell her to follow the winds of bardic love to come find me, since I'll be late to the party." Brelyna ended her mockery of my fiancé and started brushing the raven hair out of her eyes. "Ok, night." Just like that, the image winked away.

Esbern waited a few seconds before saying, "Do you think if I messaged her again, she'd be too flustered to put a towel on before answering?"

I groaned and stood up. "And now I've reached my limit."

"Where you going?" Ruby called.

"To take a crap." I called back. Yeah, right. Like I was going to squat down in the middle of the woods and drop a pound. Serana was probably out doing the same thing. Getting away from the side-show.

"Well, don't use the leaves with three points. I learned my lesson the hard way!" Ruby yelled after me.

I rolled my eyes as I finally escaped the camp. It felt good to get away from the others, if not only to get some fresh air. I allowed my breath to catch up with me as I breathed through my nose, just allowing my mind to calm itself. As I allowed my mind to calm down, I thought I could hear something…growling.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I hadn't noticed the sun had already set behind the trees. Four large beasts circled around me, growling, hungry. I could feel their glares running through my body. I started to reach for my sword, but realized that I left it back at camp, which was a good mile away. Which was 1609 meters and some change…or pounds for anyone who relies on the metric system. Too far for me to start flashing without being caught by….werewolves.

"You smell strong." One of the werewolves said. "Maybe you wish to hunt with us?" The werewolf said as she stalked forward, pushing itself up onto two feet.

I brought my fists up. "If you're offering to turn me…you can forget it."

The werewolf shook her head. "No, nothing so…cliché. There is a nest of dragons ahead. We are Companions. We are doing our job as protectors. The nest of six dragons must die. They attacked a village nearby and the guards need a lot of help. Even the Legion is no match. They called us in. We already lost one. We need some help. You smell strong, as do your comrades."

I nodded. "Ok, sure. Let's just go back to camp…in human form…and see about that doing that first thing in morning."

The werewolf nodded, smiling. "Your vampire friend is already on her way. If we do not hurry…she might die."

...

Crap.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Another successful chapter. Next one will be an omage to all the times I have not used dragons within this story._


	50. Ch 50: Dragons and werewolves

**Cearbhail:**_ Well, after taking a short break to reexamine my 'ability' to draw, I am back. Previously, I stated that I had no ability to draw, at all. Ask me to draw a stick figure, I'd mess that up. Now, with one try, I drew a character from my Bond Summoner's series. Not perfect, I might add. Face is a little...basic, but everything else wasn't bad. So, I can draw, somewhat._

_Anywho...back to the author notes. What was the last chapter about? Oh, i forgot, I was too busy drawing. Anyway, once I get better, I will draw the little book cover. If you want a specific character up front, I will most likely take requests, but I was originally going to go with Ruby and Maleek trying to push each other out of the frame while Lydia face-palms and Asger laughs his ass off. And there to the left would be little Cecilie and older Cecilie, both glaring up at each other. Just what I was thinking of doing for fun._

_Anyway, enjoy. Oh and... Chapter 50 surprise coming up!_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_My gods, you'd think I would have run out of paper by now. Anyway, this day has gone from vampires that grow wings to hunters that grow fur. And not only that but on the way to hunting for this bow, we now have an unheard of nest of dragons. Six of them. Enough to defeat an entire legion of Imperial soldiers and to quiet a whole village. And now, four Companions, plus my team are going to go up there and kick their asses. If only either Asger or Cecilie were here to eat their souls. Unlock new Shouts and all that. Oh well._

_Hmm, a little short for a normal journal entry. So…I heard Zaliika tell me about her past with Pantu. She was being picked on by some Nord boys one day down by the dock in Riften. They were doing stuff to her like: stepping on her tail and beating her up, making her drink that polluted water; you know bully stuff. Well Pantu dropped from the top of a building and beat the Nords up, scratching them with his claws, dancing around them with his feline grace. This is all according to her words, at the very least. Then once he made the bullies cry and run home to their mommies, he bent down and took her hand, helping her up. Then he passed out and Zaliika took him to her father, the jewelry maker in Riften. When Pantu woke up, it was to a warm bowl of soup that she had made herself. After that day, they became friends and she went onto join the Soup Guild. Nice backstory, I like it at least._

_Oh and there was the whole camp's reaction to the Companions coming in with no clothes on. Everyone reacted their own way. Ruby covered her eyes and ran off screaming about the past. Esbern pretty much glued his eyes to the leader, some woman by the name of Aela. Babette's glued onto Farkas, and Zaliika threw herself onto Pantu, covering his eyes for him. And then there's the whole…Thalmor guy. He merely coughed in his hand and looked away, suddenly interested in the twin moons. I still don't know his name. Hmm…_

_Lydia…_

_…_

In closing my journal, I was able to look around the party. Thalmor guy was jotting notes down. Notes that was probably a journal like my own. A journal that was more like a dossier, a mission report. Every move we made was probably going to be reported back to the Aldmeri Dominion. We were going to be targets. Worse off, he knows that Esbern is a Blade. We discussed it within earshot. I saw him jot down the notes. That and the armor. He's seen my armor, whether it's busted or not. Brelyna's too. It's a mistake having him along. But, as luck would have it, he is following us now and we just kinda letting him. I don't know why we let this stuff happen to us. Maybe I should take the initiative and solve this matter myself.

While everyone else was preoccupied with the coming of the wolves, I was standing up and walking over to the Thalmor. Skinny but overly tall Altmer with light golden skin, bright red eyes, and long white hair that was pulled back into a ponytail that reached his knees. He noticed me walking to him and pulled out a gracious smile before I snatched up his arm and pulled him away from the group. He did not look offended in any way but the look in his eyes hardened as we came to a stop right inside the woods.

The leather clad Altmer smiled as he dipped into a graceful bow. "May I help you, Lady of the Battle-Born clan?"

As he reached for my hand to kiss it, I pulled my hand out and smacked him with it. "Don't do that. You're a Thalmor, I can tell by the robes. Why are you following us?"

He looked at me as if I was stupid for not figuring it out earlier. "Auriel's Bow. You're going after it. A powerful relic given to the devout followers of Auriel. A powerful weapon that is strong enough to blot out the sun or use the sun for the user's means. By all that is right, the Aldmeri Dominion should not let such a weapon be mistreated. It could upset the delicate peace we've worked so hard to achieve."

"So, you just want that weapon for the Thalmor's use only. To be used against your enemies. I get it now." I said back, crossing my arms.

He looked even more confused. "What? No. Such a weapon should not be held by anyone. Once we are done with whatever we need this bow for, I'm going to destroy it. A weapon made by a god…being used to kill… it's not right. Auriel's bow was given to us to be used against Daedra, not men and mer. Once we use it to kill the vampires that are trying to destroy our world, I'll return it to the god Auriel. If such a thing were to be needed again, Auriel will return it to us when the time is right."

I stood there…frozen. What the hell kind of Thalmor was this? I had to shake my head at him and say, "I'm sorry. Did…did you just offer to destroy a powerful weapon that the Thalmor could use to end any uprising?"

He looked taken aback. "Why would I want to use a divine weapon to end an uprising? More importantly, why would I want to end an uprising with such force? If people are protesting, there must be a reason for it." He shook his head and stepped back. "I am sorry, Lady of the Battle-Born clan, but it appears that our new comrades are eager to begin their 'hunt'." He bowed gracefully to me and smiled. "I will talk to you later as to the reasoning behind your assumptions of me being a dictator." With that he walked past me and back to the camp.

I stopped and turned around, surprised at just how he had answered my questions. He did not seem like the other Thalmor I had grown to hate…and I hated that. I wanted them all to be the same so that when it came down to throwing the axe, I wouldn't care which head it lobbed off. Dammit. I bet this was his plan, to make me like him. Then, when my guard is down, he'll stab me in the back. Bastard.

I started following behind him, Aela already walking through the brush to meet me. She looked at the Thalmor and smiled. "Your eyes are soft, innocent. You're prey. You should stand behind the real warriors as we carve through the dragons."

The Thalmor smiled and bowed. "I apologize, but I cannot allow myself to stand in the back twiddling my thumbs while you beautiful ladies are out fighting dragons. I am a wizard and a strong one. I will assist in any way I can. I can also heal if someone gets hurt."

Aela grunted/scoffed at his word 'heal'. She patted her chest and said, "Companions don't need magic. We will not stop you from fighting, but respect our ways and do not render Restoration aid."

The Thalmor nodded gracefully. It actually disgusted me. Was he always this way, or was he just pretending to be 'chivalric'? "If that is your wish, I shall not attempt to heal you."

Ruby walked up, smiling. "It is above you to render aid to a small Khajiit?"

His eyes narrowed onto Ruby. Since he was so tall and she was well, a Khajiit teenager, the size between the two was amazing. He had to physically bend over just to look at her. He smiled and patted her on the head. "If you become injured I will lay hands upon you."

She snickered and walked away. "I never get tired of hearing that."

…

The walk through the mountainous terrain was not a long one. From what Aela told me it was right over this mountain and we'd actually see the six of them flying around in circles, blasting their fire everywhere. They had chosen this place to nest for some reason and normally the Companions would be more than willing to just go in and kill them. Heck, they already tried. The entire collection of Companions charged in to fight. Only some of them were werewolves, and it was an initiation for Ria as a werewolf herself. The greenest of all werewolves.

The Companions had already attacked the dragons a night ago and lost one of their werewolves and a few lesser Companions in the process. They managed to take down three dragons, though. So, there were nine originally, now there were six. Aela was hoping that by bringing us not only would she uneven the odds, but keep anymore werewolves from dying. The rest of the Companions had to go back and lick their wounds, under Kodlak's suggestion.

The werewolf that had been mortally wounded was some man by the name of Skjor. He jumped in front of Ria, shoving her out of the way, as a dragon swooped down and snapping its mouth shut around his shoulders. The dragon then just flung its neck and threw Skjor as far as he could fly before disappearing. Since he hadn't returned, Aela assumed he was dead.

It was only a few miles into the walk that I could hear that calling sound. That light rumble through the air, the silent scream that roared like distant thunder. It was the call of a dragon. Eerie, like wind brushing through a thousand branches. Now, imagine six of those all roaring at the top of their lungs. Now, imagine all that with large shadows dancing along the ground, shadows that only exist because of the bright overhead full moon. Now, glance up and see dark shadows morphing in and out of the night sky. Nearly invisible because of how fast they move, only illuminated by the moon as they fly past.

If you can imagine all that and the ground shaking as one by one they land all around you…you can imagine what I was feeling right now. Needless to say, I needed to change my pants.

The Companions who had walked with us all started to change into their beast forms. It was about time. I was sick of seeing them all naked. Aela looked back at me, now a towering wolf. I could see her grin through teeth as large as my hand. When she spoke, it sounded like a growl. "Now, it begins." As soon as she finished, she launched herself forward, breaking into something close to a flash.

The dragon in front of Aela did not waste any time. It pushed off the ground as fast as it could to get distance between itself and Aela. It didn't work. Sure, the dragon got about 20 meters off the ground, but Aela was already pushing off her feet, flying right up into the dragon's throat. The dragon hissed in rage and took to the sky, Aela still clinging on as she attempted to rake his throat open.

Ria, the quiet and kind woman around my age, was still struggling to transform. A dragon who saw this was getting ready to breathe onto her. "YOL!" I heard as the dragon pulled his head back.

I flashed up to her, throwing myself in front of her as the dragon finished. "TOOR SHUL!" I focused all the energy into unsheathing my katana, snapping open one of my limiters. I felt a sudden rush of energy as soon as a giant wave of fire descended upon me. Flashing, I grabbed the handle, fed my energy into the blade, and unsheathed it into a slash. The slash was so fast and so powerful that it had created an air vacuum. The river of fire expanded into a giant bubble and then blasted away from Ria and me in two different streams. This occurrence was only for a second, but it gave Ria all the time she needed to finish transforming.

In the other second where the fire started to collect and threatened to cook me alive, I felt giant hairy claws around my waist. I looked down to see giant furry arms wrapped around me. "Hold on!" I heard a growl from behind. Suddenly, air and gravity shoved down on me. The giant river of fire was at least 50 feet below me before the pull wore off. Now, I don't care if I leapt 200 feet to save Asger from Alduin. I still remembered crashing 400 feet later. Now, even knowing that I could survive this, it did not stop me from screaming like a little girl as gravity started pulling me up instead of down. As in…we were falling.

I looked down to see the dragon looking right at us as we fell for it. The dragon opened his mouth and I could see the flames starting to build up. I looked up at Ria, whose giant wolf-like eyes were focused on the dragon. "We're falling right into the dragon's mouth!" I screamed to her.

"I know!" She growled back, pulling me closer. "Hold on and close your mouth."

"YOL…" The dragon started.

The dragon grew bigger and bigger as did the ground. And his mouth kept growing brighter and brighter. Seconds just seemed to stretch on as we came upon our final approach.

"FIRE STORM!" The Thalmor screamed from underneath us. The dragon screeched out in horror as a giant fireball consumed its head. "LIGHTNING STORM! BLIZZARD!" With one hand a giant bolt of lightning sprout stormed over the dragon, while the other hand blasted Frost magic started working its way over the wings.

Ria held me closer. "Change of plans." She spun us around and pushed me away. I continued to 'look' down as I started tumbling through midair. I could feel the wind take me and I knew that this landing was not going to be pleasant. I could feel my bones shattering already.

"Feather! Telekinesis!" The Thalmor shouted. I felt my body become lighter and it started falling slower. That did not stop me from crashing into something. "Oof." I heard the Thalmor grunt as I collided with him. We both crashed onto the ground, I was safely on top of him, and he was squashed under me. A true gentleman after all.

I patted him on the head. "Thanks." I pushed off him and watched as the werewolf Ria fell onto the giant howling head of the dragon, both her claws out and extended. I must have been watching very intently because I could see the individual lines of the dragon's head/neck peel away as Ria fell on her way down its throat. Then, the bottom of the stomach exploded and out came the werewolf. She crashed into the ground with an audible whimper. I thought she had died. But then she moved, shook herself off, and started to get up. And then a dragon crashed on top of her. Which later exploded into a bright fire. A fire…that only a Dragonborn can produce.

Ria, in werewolf form, burst through the burning flesh of the dragon. The aurora flame rolled off the dragon and flew through her mouth, which seemed to wrap her body up in a giant rainbow aura of flame. When the dragon was fully dissolved, Ria's form started to change back. When she was back to being a naked woman, she fell to her knees and vomited something rainbow-colored up. I can only guess it was leftovers of the dragon's soul. Did that still make it dead? If you vomit up a dragon's soul, partial at the least…does he come back to life later? And if he does…is he less of a dragon, like a miniature, or is it his intelligence that suffers? I don't know, but I guess we'd find out sooner or later.

The Thalmor standing inches away from me looked in awe. "She…she…" He looked confused and then looked over at me. "What did she just do?"

I arched one of my eyebrows as I looked over at him. "Why would I tell you that? All that information will do is return to the Thalmor's base of operations in Solitude and be used against us."

He nodded at me, his eyes a little hurt and he glanced away. "If that's how you feel about it, I won't ask again." He stepped back and looked around. "There are still four of them….no wait…that Khajiit just cut one's neck off. So…nope the Argonian fed it acidic soup…" He stepped back rubbing his head. "Well, there are still…ok, three werewolves chewing the wings off, I can reason that. But…come on! Those two vampires cannot raise a dead dragon to fight for them! That's…both ingenious and cheating. And now they're using the dragon to eat the other one. Ironically, the dragon looked both shocked and saddened. I think it's because that dragon was his mate or something." He shrugged and looked over at me. "What ever happened to Aela?"

Just as he finished that a giant dragon slammed into the ground. Aela, still a werewolf, tore the throat of the dragon open and started feasting on the inside of the neck. The other werewolves started running around, eating the dragons. I guess this was their whole plan, eat the dragons until they were completely dead. Too bad it didn't work like that. Either that or they were just hungry. So was I, I just realized. I hadn't eaten since the festival, only six hours ago.

Ria, as if in a daze, started crawling forward, her mouth still dripping rainbows. She stood up, in a daze, into the center of the dead dragons. The werewolves all stopped eating and glanced at her, their eyes curious as to what she was doing. She stopped in the middle of everyone and spread her arms out. She cried out in pain as all the dragons' bodies lit up into flames. The Companion werewolves all jumped back, whimpering out of confusion.

Aela looked around, standing up on her back legs. "I do not understand. What is happening?" She growled out as all the dragons started melting away. She looked over at Ria and growled. "What type of sorcery is this anyway?"

The flaming dragons all exploded into rainbow dust and collectively flew into a giant circle that surrounded Ria. Ria stood in the middle of the giant rainbow glittery mist. Her arms were spread out wide and her chest was puffing out. I was certain that she was going to commit a bardic battle to a giant collection of floating glittery rainbow dust. But that's not what happened. Her eyes lit up and her mouth opened wide as all that glittery crap started cycloning down her throat.

The ground started to shake and I was taken off my feet. The Thalmor reached out and grabbed me, halting me from falling any further. Ria started levitating of the ground, consumed in the aura of the dead dragons. It was still pouring down her being. I was surprised her stomach hadn't exploded yet. Finally the bubble of glitter became thinner and thinner until all that was left was a floating Ria. Her body's rainbow aura started dimming and she slowly started falling to the ground.

The Thalmor quickly pushed away from me, gently I might add, and raced up to her, ripping his jacket off. The other Companions started melting back into humans. They were walking up to Ria, who was now falling into the Thalmor's arms, being wrapped up in his giant leather duster.

I walked up with Ruby behind me. Esbern caught up pretty quick and yanked us back. "Emergency conference. She's a Dragonborn, isn't she?"

I nodded, as did Ruby. I looked over at Ria and said, "I see that same reaction all the time with Cecilie and Asger. She's definitely Dragonborn."

Esbern looked serious for a second. "Don't you see what this means. If there is more than one…more will start popping up as well. Who knows who will receive the gift now…who knows who might use it for ill."

I looked at Ria, whose face was pale. Liquid rainbow goo was leaking out of her mouth and she started coughing up on the Thalmor. I smiled. I actually was hoping she puke on him. Point for her, one less for him.

I looked up at Esbern and said, "I think I know who she is. If I'm right…and let's face it, I'm not going to be wrong on this. It will keep our little nation safe from six year-old dragon slayers."

Both Ruby and Esbern looked confused as I smiled. I looked back at Ria and I just knew who she really was. It had to be.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: And who can guess who Ria really is? Dun dun duuuunnn...?_


	51. Ch 51: Chickens, eggs, and aliens

**Cearbhail:**_ Now that I'm done with that depressing story, I'm back to this one. Now, I wanted to do more today, but I got all caught up in pretty much every little thing imaginable today. Everyone wanted something. (sigh) Barely even got to sit at my computer today._

_Anyway, enough about my life. Enjoy this one._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Last night was amazing. Sure, I was surrounded by six dragons and I didn't even get to kill one of them, but I guess that's what teamwork is all about. After all there was my team, a team of eight, plus five werewolves. That makes…well, too many people to share dragon kills. But Ria gets all the points for absorbing their souls and keeping them from returning. It appears that this flea-ridden Imperial is in fact…a Dragonborn. It's amazing just how they are starting to pop up. Of course, I know the real reason behind this. I figured it out once I recalled reading Asger's journal back at Sky Haven Temple._

_I guess no one else really knows about it. I'm the only one, but it also makes sense about what Cecilie told me when she told me about her past during our stay at the Sky Haven Temple as well. Heck, I had almost forgotten about it until this just happened._

_So, we were held up for a while. Ria was growing ill and vomiting rainbow juice. The other Companions were worried for her, scared of what she did and what it was doing to her. I explained everything to them, telling them all that she was Dragonborn. They were all suddenly honored to have her within their little 'circle' now. Imagine a hero of Skyrim as a Companion in the Circle. Tremendous honor to both the Dragonborn and to them. Well, Aela asked me if I knew anything about Dragonborns. I told her that my fiancé was one and so was my daughter. I had a lot of experience with them. And just like that, Aela nodded to me and said that they were leaving Ria in my 'capable' hands. They had to go back to Jorrvaskr. So…now I'm stuck with another person._

_Oh, and I asked the Thalmor for his name. He said his name was Fiirnar. Hmm, that name sounds familiar. And without Cecilie here to give me a load-down about anything this guy has done in the past and whether or not he's in fact the cause of her death…I will never know. Oh well, he seems nice._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and looked over at the sleeping Ria. Her fever had come down a lot since she passed out after consuming all those dragon souls. I guess her body was processing the collection now. What the body did with those souls, I'll never know.

Ruby was doing all she could with her crystal magic. Amethyst to keep the headaches and fever reduced, citrine for the energy transference…whatever that was…it was in her own words. Whatever she was doing was helping in the least. Ria was no longer tossing and turning, mumbling in her sleep.

Babette and Serana both went out to go hunting. After everything that had happened, I just wanted to curl up into my little sleeping mat and fall asleep. My growling stomach wouldn't let me, though. So I just sat myself around Pantu and Zaliika. She was trying her best to engage him in a conversation and he was pretty much only answering in short bursts. It seems that the love connection was one way. Either that or he just pretending to be gruff. Hard to tell with him. He's just so…mysterious.

Fiirnar was busy asking Esbern everything he could about random stuff that he wanted to know. Esbern was giving him false information, purposely leading him away from knowing anything. He'd even contradict himself just to confuse the elf in an inescapable circle of false knowledge. It made me laugh to hear it.

"So, you're saying that the dragons are returning because there are Dragonborns?" Fiirnar said, scratching his head.

"Oh, definitely. The dragons appearing right after the Dragonborn is born…it cannot be coincidence." Esbern said, nodding in real enthusiasm.

"But we'd never know that the Dragonborn is in fact…a Dragonborn if there were no dragons around for him to eat." Fiirnar said, squinting and shaking his head in confusion.

"Oh, but of course. It's like the question: which came first…the chicken or the hunter?" Esbern said with a growing smile. "Were there chickens before hunters started killing chickens, or did the chickens survive long before someone figured out that they could be eaten? And what of their eggs?"

Fiirnar nodded, rubbing his perfect chin. "Ah yes…the age old puzzle, which came first: the chicken or the egg?"

Esbern laughed and shook his head. "No, not that. Honestly, who cares about that one? Did hunters eat chickens first…or their eggs? I could care less if an egg hatched the first chicken, or if they were all crapped out as chicks to begin with. What I care about are the hunters, the people who consumed the chickens and their eggs. So…new hypothesis. What was eaten first: the chicken or its eggs?"

Fiirnar nodded. "Ok, I understand. I will have to do research on this question." He stepped away and Esbern chuckled to himself.

When Fiirnar was out of earshot, Esbern looked over at me and said, "And that's how you get rid of pesky question askers."

I smiled at him and shook my head. It was amazing that he could just throw Fiirnar into a fit about chickens and eggs. "So, what do you really think? Think the dragons are returning because of Dragonborns, or were there always Dragonborns who lived through the ages without any dragons to unlock their powers with? Or could the Dragonborns just be showing up now, first of their generations because Alduin was returning to us?"

Esbern shrugged. "Personally, I would go with the second one. Without dragon souls to eat and unlock their dragon blood, we'd never know who held the power Dragonborns as only known to have. They'd be normal, like the rest of us. And when dragons started appearing, it just became obvious that people would gather around the sight of a dead dragon. Then, that one normal Joe would get too close and the dragon would light up into flames. Then that would start the whole 'soul absorption' process. That person may have been Dragonborn his whole life and not even know it. It is very possible that there are many Dragonborns, not just one. All from strong clans. The trick is finding one person with enough royal blood left over to actually activate the soul absorption process. That being said, the slim chance that there are two separate clans of powerful dragonblooded citizens is either lucky or damn impossible. We've not interbred like those old days. The end result would either be thousands of Dragonborns, or none. The fact that Asger is one and this woman is one…I'd say that they're related."

I sat there, completely stunned. He knew. He figured it out. I had actually smiled and started rubbing the back of my head. "Well, you're right about one thing. I think these two are related."

Esbern rolled his eyes. "Let's see…too old to be his daughter…but knowing Cecilie I'd say that it could be her older sister or something coming back in time to save Asger from eating too many dragon souls. She has similar features to Cecilie."

Ria started rustling in her bed. We both turned to look at her. She looked like she was going to vomit. When she turned over and vomited up a fresh batch of rainbow goo, I considered that I was getting good at reading people's vomit faces. Ria let her head smack the ground as she rested back down. Her eyes looked thoroughly exhausted. She looked up at me, that expression filled with pain. "What happened?" She said, sitting up.

"You ate six dragon souls. Congrats, you're a Dragonborn." I said to her, patting her on the back. The end result of that was Ria groaning and throwing more up. "There, there. Cough it up."

She grabbed her head and shook it lightly. "Feels like I tried to eat a mammoth." _You ate enough for six mammoths._ I thought sarcastically in my head. She looked up at me and attempted at a smile. "Thanks." She tried to push herself up, but her arms suddenly felt very weak. "Ohh…" She groaned. "Ok, I'm just going to stay here for a while."

Esbern nodded. "That's ok. We're not leaving without you. Aela put you under our care while we train you to become a Dragonborn."

Ria scoffed and smiled. "Did she now? Can't wait to get rid of me."

Fiirnar walked back up. "Ok, I considered all possible approaches. I feel that hunters would have not taken to the knowledge of cracking eggs and frying them on slabs of rock. No…and eating them raw is just as unlikely. So, if I had to think of what the hunters would have eaten first, I say it would have to be the chicken."

Esbern looked back at him. "You're considering our brains in the matter, not the primitive hunters. Think of this. Chickens run…and fast. Eggs…don't. Go do more considering."

Fiirnar nodded and stepped away. "Hmm, that is true.. In that case, I could reconsider the use of magicka to launch fireballs.."

"Back then hunters used spears! Not magic!" Esbern yelled after him as he disappeared again. He looked back at me and winked. "See…got to keep him thinking. I'm sure he'll realize that I've just sidetracked him sooner or later and come back to his original questioning. Then I'll move onto the next phase. What came before the Dwemers?…Who taught them how to build what they did? Aliens? They possibly couldn't be that smart."

Ria groaned and shook her head. "Either I'm going loony or you're all a bunch of idiots."

I patted her on the back which caused another repeat performance. "Hey…don't call me an idiot. I'm the only one who knows who you really are."

She glanced up at me, curious. "And what's that mean?"

I smiled and nodded. "You're Asger's sister."

She looked at me like I was stupid. "Who's Asger."

That…did not go as I planned. "Asger…the Dragonborn. The Thane of Whiterun, a Companion! Probably a werewolf too. Heck, I don't know."

Ria did that comprehension nod where her mouth gaped open and she nodded thickly. "Oh…him. Yes, I remember him. He threw a rock at the giant I was fighting outside Whiterun. When the giant charged him, he tossed another rock. The giant started crying and ran off before I could kill it." She raised an eyebrow and said, "And…you're saying that he's my brother? Isn't he a Nord?"

I nodded. "Yes…why aren't you?"

She patted her chest. "I'm Imperial."

Ok, that I did not expect. Maybe I was mistaken. It could be that she is just some random person who has mysteriously gained the Dragonborn ability. Who knows…maybe one person of each race was selected by the gods to wield the Dragonborn power. Was M'aiq or Ruby about to sprout dragon wings and go dragon slaying next? Or was Maleek or Zaliika going to start lighting dragons on fire? Was there going to be a team of Dragonborns someday, all fighting dragons as one unit?

I shook my head. No! I'm not dramatic, I do not think about this stuff. I took a few deep breaths and allowed my emotions to cool down and collect. I could do this without resorting to Asger's crazy world. I looked at Ria, who was looking up at me like she had just seen someone bipolar. "My apologies. I assumed that because Asger is in Skyrim looking for his half-sister that you may have been her. Then the whole dragon thing started, things happened, Asger became Dragonborn and had to put off finding her. All he knew was that she was at the College of Winterhold for a while."

Ria looked shaken. "Who…me? Living at the College of Winterhold? Ha…crazy." She stood up, grabbing her head. "It's not like I was dating a wizard there or something. No…that would be just…" She sighed. "Ok…so, who were his parents?"

I shrugged. "I don't even know his last name. I don't think anyone knows his last name. Or if it's even recorded anywhere. I've checked…a lot and out of fear of already having it somewhere and creating a new one on top of .. I have just tried to ignore it and just call him by my last name…or by the Dragonborn. Instead of trying to learn it."

Ria sighed. "Ok, so you don't know who his parents were, only that his sister came to Skyrim, lived at the College of Winterhold…and then became involved in the whole…dragon uprising?"

Fiirnar stormed up to us, his face pulled in a slightly angry tone. "You tricked me. All this time, I thought we were getting along fine but…you had me thinking about chickens. No longer…so answer my question. Why are dragons returning?"

Esbern nodded and sighed. "Fine. It all has to do with what the Dwemer discovered years before they vanished. You see, when they were beginning, they had help designing their monstrous contraptions. They were as pathetic as the snow elves, but overnight…they suddenly evolved. Some say that aliens advanced them…"

"What does this have to do about dragons returning?" Fiirnar said, beginning to cross his arms.

Esbern smiled. "Some believe that dragons helped the sudden advancing of the Dwemer."

Fiirnar nodded. "Hmm, and if the Dwemer had help from the dragons, the dragons may have known that they were going to disappear."

"And since all the Dwarves disappeared, some believe that the dragons went with them. All at once. So, the real question is…why haven't the Dwarves appeared yet? Or…are they actually the Draugr that live in the ancient Nord dragon burial mounds? It would explain their sudden disappearance."

Fiirnar nodded. "Hmm, that is a good theory. I shall have to think about this for a while." He turned around and slowly walked away.

Ria shook her head in dismay. "That Altmer is such a dork." She looked at me and said, "I want to meet this Asger. If anything else, he can at least teach me how to adapt to this…uneasy feeling."

Well, at least I could keep her around long enough to find out from Asger if she really was his sister. I don't know the full story as to why he was here, his last name, her last name, if it's the same last name…or if they really were just coincidentally intertwined in this never-ending plot about dragon slayers.

I looked up at the sky. Alduin. He escaped us once and then…we got caught up in this. How much longer until we killed him? We'd probably wait until this war was over and a new High King was crowned. And not to mention whatever was going to happen next. We chased away Alduin, but he wasn't dead. What were we going to have to do to fix that and end this dragon uprising? Stop the end of the world? I wish I knew.

Ruby walked up, smiling. "Oh, I smell deer."

By now we had a giant working fire that was burning down to the giant logs of firewood that Ruby just happened to have in her bag. How convenient. Zaliika stood near the edge of the fire, her giant staff-like stood inside a giant cauldron almost as big as her. Another thing that Ruby had to stuff away. She was cooking enough soup for us all. I half expected to see Pantu and Ruby doing something related to food as well. Heck, all three of them were registered chefs. Only Zaliika was a Glass Chef, one of the best around. And a member of the Full Course. The five wonder chefs of Tamriel.

I followed Ruby's shining blue eyes to see Serana and Babette both flapping their wings as hard as they could. Serana was carrying a deer with one hand, easily bored by the effort. Babette was carrying another deer but she looked like she was straining too hard. It didn't help that Babette had the bigger deer that was easily four times her size.

Serana set the deer down and brushed her hands off. "Ok, Babette and I will drain the blood, and then you guys can enjoy it."

Ruby growled. "No, not all the blood, juts most of it. Draining too much will dry the meat!"

Serana rolled her eyes. "Fine…I'll just go on a diet then."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I thought that was pretty clever. Tying in dragons with the disapperance of the Dwarves. I...I didn't even think of it until my fingers wrote it down. Amazing. I...I'm speachless...well, I guess I'm not because I'm still blathering._


	52. Ch 52: Sheogorath Conspiracy

**Cearbhail:**_ New chapter. Finally. I was out of it for a couple days. Been having trouble sleeping. Anyway, this chapter's done and hopefully I'll have a new one up sooner. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_You know those moments where you have that troubling thought in your head and it keeps nagging at you. The sad thing is that you remember once what it was and why it mattered so much? Well, we just had that moment. Traveling up the mountain to where a nest of nine or so dragons were flying around shooting their Thu'um everywhere. Why? I thought about the reason why as we approached. Then I just forgot about it because of Ria and her Dragonbornness._

_Well, we couldn't hold it back anymore. Once Ria was up on her feet, Esbern checked the map. This is the cave we need to go down. For some reason, the dragons were drawn to it. Must be the bow's power. Maybe, maybe not. We don't know it's here, we were just told to come here. All thanks to Cecilie's magical map. Either that or she doesn't care about the bow and just led us to here so that we'd meet Ria at the dawn of her turning into a Dragonborn. With how she manipulates us from time to time, I wouldn't expect anything else._

_But, we found a cave that matches the description. We're already down into it. Well…so far down that we can't turn around. Why can't we turn around? Well, as we were crossing the bridge, Ruby just 'had' to have the moonstone on the other side. So, we waited for her to mine up the moonstone. Then as we started to turn around due to our not having anywhere else to go…the bridge snapped. I blame Fiirnar. He just had to check the ropes and mention that they looked old and decrepit. You NEVER say stuff like that. It makes things break out of coincidence. And right as we were standing on the bridge too. Now we're at some abandoned camp drying out our armor and clothes. And Ruby's and Pantu's fur._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my now dry journal, glad that I went the extra mile to secure paper that was enchanted to resist water damage. Ruby and Pantu were hugging the campfire as closely as they could. Both were in fresh dry clothes that were already soaked just by changing into them. We tried to dry them off but with all that fur it was near impossible. Put a damp cold dark cave into the mix and you get very impossible. Ruby was already starting to sneeze. She was probably going to be sick by the end of the hour.

Of course, it's understandable. All of us are pretty much freezing our butts off. If you've ever touched or felt or even dove under cave water, or a cave river, you know just how cold it is. It's near freezing! Now, imagine you're in a current of a cave river, completely submerged. The river is pulling you further and further down, you're losing breath, and it's freezing. Then suddenly, giant-assed spiders are in the current as well, spitting poison through the water, poisoning you. It's not fun.

Just when your lungs can't handle it holding your breath anymore, you come flying out of the waterfall and crash onto a wet cold pillar of rock. And if that's not bad enough two soggy wet cats half the size of you fall on top of you. They smell nasty by the way…wet Khajiits. If you can imagine all of that, congrats, you understand why I hate this quest already.

"Where do you think we are?" Ria asked as she rubbed a towel through her hair.

Esbern readjusted his sling on his arm. Oh yeah…he broke his arm when he landed on his side. "If I had to say…in an underground cave carved out by an underground river."

Ria glanced back at him. "Thanks…that was so helpful."

Serana, sitting by a fire that Babette had cooked up, smiled. "Well, there's no use complaining. We're here and there's no changing that."

Ria doubled no her. "Easy for you to say. You don't have an expiration date. You don't _have_ to feed to stay alive. _I_ do!"

Babette and Serana smiled. Babette looked up at Serana and said, "So, who should we eat first?"

Serana looked over at Ria and scanned her. It was a very creepy glare. "I vote for the werewolf."

Ruby looked up from the fire, directing her eyes to Ria. "Don't worry. My everbag has a large number of fish, deer, rabbits, fruits, and vegetables. As long as we let them continue populating as I have been allowing, we should be fine. I really should let some wolves in…just to counter the large amount of deer."

Ria looked relieved, but after she shook her head, I think I could tell that it was fake. "Well, that's nice. Now we can just sit down here and die from old age instead of starvation!"

Ruby looked offended. She crossed her arms and looked away. "Well, we don't have to stay down here. My bag takes whatever form I wish it to. All I have to do is change the environment and we'll have a wonderful town to live in."

Fiirnar sighed as he leaned back on a rock. "That does not help us, though. Sure, we can survive…but at what cost? What we need to do is find a way out."

Finally, someone was making sense. I nodded to Fiirnar and said, "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I'm agreeing with the Thalmor."

He glanced at me, totally bewildered. "What? Why would that be hard to believe? I'm a sensible person."

Esbern only shook his head at Fiirnar. "You just don't get it, do you? You're not in the presence of Thalmor lovers."

Fiirnar only turned his head away and flicked his hair. "Well, then. More reason to stay. I'm sure I can show you just what we're all about in due time."

_Oh, we know what you're all about._ I thought to myself as I pushed myself back onto my feet.

My hands were freezing. My feet were still too numb. It hurt to walk, but if I didn't do something soon, I was sure that my legs would lock up for good. I was once again out of my armor and into a spare dress that I kept inside Ruby's bag. I'm sure we all had something in her bag that she just lugged around with us.

Zaliika walked back into the camp, rubbing her arms. She looked paler than she looked before she left. Of course, she was the first one to be warmed up. She was cold-blooded. She almost died from being underwater for so long. She passed out just because of the cold. Getting her revived was not easy. Esbern and Babette had to carefully use their magic to warm her up.

Zaliika glanced at Pantu and nodded. "I followed the cave that leads out. It leads to a…temple, I think. I saw someone sitting near a table, but I didn't approach him. I know what it means when you see a person in the middle of nowhere just…waiting."

Esbern nodded. "Ah yes…either a very powerful lich, or a desperate quest-giver."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh come on. Just because there is one guy…under all this water…next to a temple…so far underground that no one knows that it exists…" I shook my head. "Forget it. I can't win in this battle of logic. Should we just…shoot something at him and see if he survives?"

Serana shrugged at that. "That sounds reasonable. If he's some boss, he'll most likely die easier. And if he's important…well…I'm sure we know what _won't_ happen."

Esbern groaned as he pushed himself up. "How about you just let this old man go up and talk to him? If I get a negative reaction, you know what position I'm in. If he bows…well, you know what position we're all in."

We all nodded to that. It was a fairly agreeable plan. Let the old guy go in. He's more paranoid than all of us, grasps a full knowledge of magic and Conjuration, and he's most likely a few years from passing away anyway. Better than sending in Serana or Zaliika. I won't mind sending in Fiirnar though.

Esbern slowly made his way through the cave, most of us behind him. Ruby and Pantu were finishing up their fur fluffing and getting dressed in drier clothes. Zaliika wrapped herself around Babette, who was using fire magicka to keep them both warm. Fiirnar walked beside Esbern and offered to go up with him. I sure hope he did. Maybe I'd fire my arrow anyway and 'miss'.

Esbern finally held up his hand and said, "Go no further. Let me approach with Fiirnar and see just what this…is that an elf? A white elf? Hmm…could it be? That old armor…" He stepped away from us and we all started sinking into the shadows.

Stealth. It was not something I was good at, but was increasingly becoming dependent on. So much of what we do is surrounded by sitting still and blending in. I hated it. The feeling of watching all your sides, hoping no one hears or sees you. I'd rather just charge in and kill the things I'm trying to sneak by. The only problem with that is…we don't know what's going to be up ahead. Ten trolls, twenty? A dragon? Maybe ten? Who knows?

I watched as Esbern jogged up to the supposed elf. The elf crossed his arms and waited for him to walk up. When Esbern got close enough, he and Fiirnar started talking to him. The elf talked back. Then Esbern looked astonished, started glancing at his armor, his mouth moving faster and faster. Fiirnar just looked uncomfortable and started backing away.

…

I groaned as I shifted off my knees and actually sat down. I had been sitting like this for almost an hour now. It was getting so bad that everyone was falling asleep. I handed the bow over to Ria and said, "You're shift has begun. Just wait until Esbern gives us a sign that the thing is hostile."

Ria took the bow with a growing smile. "Jeez, with how long he's been asking questions, I'm sure that it's not threatening."

I rolled my eyes as I placed my hands behind my head. I allowed myself to lie down and I heard several spots in my back and knees crack back into place. "Fine, then don't. I'm tired. Wake me when Esbern returns."

"Esbern's returning." Ria replied almost as instantly as I finished telling her.

I groaned as I sat up. Esbern was indeed jogging back to us, a boyish grin already covering his face. He rushed up, yelling, "You'll never guess who I just talked to."

Ruby sat up, yawning. "Are we starting again?" She stretched her arms, yawning again. "Did you talk to a mammoth-riding monk?"

Esbern pulled back for a second. "What? No…" He shook his head, saying, "What type of question is that?"

"Is he the first Dragonborn whose soul was trapped here by Alduin during the first human uprising?" She asked, brushing off her dress.

Esbern sighed. "No…he's…"

Ruby held up her hand. "No, I have to finish. Is he the first Psijic monk?"

Esbern crossed his arms. "If only he was. But listen he's…"

"Is he a ghost of a Bosmer? Because he looks like a Bosmer." Ruby said, looking over at the mysterious elf.

"NO! Blast it! It's not a Bosmer it's…"

"Is it the last of the Snow Elf race?" Ruby asked.

Esbern's face turned bright red and screamed, "NO! He is not the last of the Snow Elves…he's the last of the snow elves!"

Ruby turned away. "You don't have to be so mean about it. Besides, you just said I was right."

Esbern allowed himself to calm down before looking at Ruby. "I'm sorry, you are correct. He is the last of the Snow Elves." He glanced up at me. "And thank you for waiting. It is not every day you get to meet the last of a doomed race. A paladin at that. I talked to him and he said that he has been waiting for someone to wander in. He wants us to go kill his corrupted brother, who has the bow we're looking for."

I nodded. "Ahh…so the desperate quest-giver."

Esbern nodded in return. "Yes, very desperate. Our paladin seems unable or unwilling to do this himself. Saying he's too weak to defeat him and all the 'betrayed'. Which are our common Falmer it would seem."

Serana chuckled to herself. "It's a good thing I did not come down here by myself then. If an ancient paladin who gets their strength from their holy god cannot best a tainted elf…then what chance would a vampire like myself have?"

Esbern nodded. "Would any of us stand a chance? His brother was once a paladin as well, but something happened and he lost his mind. Now we must go in and kill him."

Zaliika shifted from her seat, glancing up at Esbern. "That seems a little extreme. Can't we try talking first?"

I chuckled as I looked over at Zaliika. "Trust me. If a paladin says that his brother is twisted…he's probably exactly like us. So yeah, we'll try talking to him first."

Fiirnar walked up to us, scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry, but I seemed to have dozed off. What did you two talk about?" He asked Esbern.

Esbern smiled. "He agrees with me about the giants being an ancient civilized race. They were the founders of the Gargantuan Empire, the empire that existed long before men or mer. In fact, most of what the Dwarves discovered was already here. They just moved in and replicated the Giant's designs. So, it stands to reason that as we evolved, we became smaller to compensate the fact that we had to all fit on this world. So, Argonians and the Tsaesci are in fact…related to the dragons. Chickens did come from eggs…and hunters existed long before chickens."

Fiirnar nodded. "Yes, that much makes sense. But what could have happened to the Giants to make them become simple nomads?"

Esbern patted Fiirnar on the back. "The same thing that caused the dragons to disappear and the Dwarves to vanish. Can you imagine what kind of event might have caused all three of those to happen?"

Fiirnar could only shake his head. "No idea at all."

I shook my head. "Esbern…as much as I enjoy messing with him, now's not the time to fill his head with ideas."

Esbern's face deflated and he crossed his arms. "I'm enjoying an intellectual process with my new thinking buddy. But out." He looked over at Fiirnar. "Think about it. Humans suddenly rise in power, dragons disappear. Dwarves vanish and chickens are suddenly hatched from eggs. Giants become unintelligent and bunnies become very important in religious holidays. Can you piece it together?"

Fiirnar rubbed his chin as hard as he could. He finally sighed in defeat. "I can't think of anything. What are you theories?"

Esbern smiled and shook him. "It was the moment the Daedric Princes turned Jyggalag into Sheogorath. The sudden creation of madness and chaos…it only makes sense that our world would explode into impossible scenarios. Dwarves achieving mastery and then…vanishing. Returning as draugr. Immortal dragons dying. The slave races rising up, claiming the world as their own…only to be recaptured by elves. Religious figures taking bunnies and colored eggs as religious symbolism for the rising of the Dragonborn. It all makes sense."

Fiirnar finally nodded, understanding. "And the Oblivion Crisis, when Jyggalag returned to power, creating a new Sheogorath. Which a year later resulted in the Aedra War." He shook his head, grabbing it in pain. "The rise of the Aldmeri Dominion…it all makes sense."

"So then…why now?" Esbern asked.

Fiirnar looked up at Esbern with new eyes. "There's a new Sheogorath."

I rolled my eyes and looked away. I cannot believe Esbern just wasted our time tricking Fiirnar into believing that the Daedric Prince Sheogorath was responsible for all the events that DID NOT HAPPEN. As much as his 'theories' sounded plausible, there was no chance that Giants were civilized, Dwarves were draugrs…or that bunnies represented religious icons. That's just stupid. And none of that was because of a Daedric Prince of madness.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: You never know...maybe Sheogorath is responsible for the Giants becoming roamers. Hmm?_


	53. Ch 53: Ultimate enemy

**Cearbhail:**_ A great chapter. I just had to do it. I had to. But...I know it's for the best. It's out there now and everyone will just have to deal with it. I unleash...my ultimate enemy. MHUAHAHA.._

_Enjoy. If you dare.._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Finally we've started the quest. When it came time for the snow elf to hand us a giant cup and give us a long monologue about what it was we needed to do, why it was going to be so hard, and what to expect at the end, I found myself banging my head on a rock. I just kept asking….can we please skip the conversation and just GO? Finally, after Esbern exhausted another three hours' worth of questions about some of the things that existed in the past and in their empire, as well as the Dwemer, who ruled over his people and originally corrupted them…under the influence of dragons (curse you Sheogorath and Esbern); we received the cup and now are on our way._

_Things to point out. We've been going at it for a while, fought a lot of snow elves, climbed through a lot of underground townships filled with nothing but Falmer. And it has led us to this…lever. That's right…a lever. With a skeleton beside it…with a journal. Gee, I wonder what this could be._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I looked down at the journal, and then I looked up at Esbern. Esbern looked at me, and then down at the journal, then up to the collection of levers. He glanced at me, back down to the journal, and then back up at the two levers.

Fiirnar scratched his chin thoughtfully while glancing down at the journal. He sighed and shifted his weight and then looked at the obviously rock/sliding door. "Right…we have the four components all together. Dead body, discarded journal depicting last words, a lever that opens the door, and the door itself. But we have a fifth element…another lever. Maybe it activates some sort of trap. But where is the trap and what is its purpose: to keep us out…or keep something in?"

I bent my knees and looked down at the skeleton. I could tell by looking at the bones that someone's arm was broken as well as the ribs. Whatever had attacked him wanted him dead. I could see some flaky blood on both of the levers. I'm sure whatever happened to him was not produced by the trap.

I stood up and walked over to the doorway. I could see the collection of 'hidden' perfectly rounded holes. I bet a collection of spears flew through the holes, impaling anything that's in front of the doorway. Yeah, I'm sure of it. This was a trap to keep something in, not out.

I walked back up to Esbern, who was now holding the journal. He glanced at us, reading it with a low voice, speaking monotony as most readers do when they're reading from the page. "Day four in this gods' forsaken cave. I came here to find the so-called 'Forgotten Vale'. When I first found this doorway, I pulled the left lever, which activated a series of pikes to fly out randomly. It spooked me, but not enough to run away. I'm sure whatever it is I can fight and beat it. I am the Champion of Cyrodiil after all. There is nothing here that I cannot defeat. I killed thousands of Daedra and survived the Aedra Wars, killing hundreds of Aedra like they were paper. I am sure whatever is behind this rock is nothing for me to handle."

Esbern turned the page. He cleared his throat. "Hmm. There seems to be blood over the next page. But I'll read what I can." He said, glancing at us and then back down to the journal. "I was wrong. The creature…if you can call it that…it waits. It preys, it cannot be defeated. I tried but it was only a few minutes before I turned tail and ran as fast as I could. I did not know the trap worked both ways. Stepping on the hidden plate…I was impaled several times. Good thing I'm me…now I can just die slowly enough to warn the next passerby. Do not…open this door. For Talos' sake, DO NOT unleash this evil…"

Ruby and Zaliika were trembling behind Ria and Serana. Babette was tapping her foot against the ground, looking up at the doorway. She finally chuckled. "The Champion of Cyrodiil. I remember him. Nice guy, a little cocky. His name was Adam. He helped us during the final days of the Aedra War. Was a big help but then heard a rumor about the bow and wanted to come here to extinguish the Aedra once and for all. Thought that Aedra could only be fully slain by an artifact of an Aedra Lord…aka…Auriel's Bow. Makes sense now."

I looked up at the doorway. "Well, if the Champion of Cyrodiil couldn't defeat whatever was behind this doorway, how can we?"

Babette laughed and shook her head. "You are forgetting something. THAT WAS 200 YEARS AGO!" She screamed and pointed to the door. "Whatever was behind there is now dead! Unless it's a lich or a vampire. Either way…I'll rip its throat out." She said with a shrug. "Ok, left lever pulls the trap, the right lever pulls the door down. So…what are we doing because we need the bow to finish this…and that war council isn't going to wait for too long."

Serana nodded. "I agree with her. Let's face it…no matter how long we stand here and debate this…we're going to open this door anyway. Might as well just do it now and get it over with."

Ruby jumped out from behind her, screaming, "No! What…what if we just find another way to get there? Maybe turn around and find another Thalmor waiting with a letter given to us from Cecilie? Anything to get us away from this…um…minor setback?"

Esbern sighed and turned to look at Ruby. "Ruby…we don't have time. Besides, we can't get out, remember? We're trapped underground, we've looked around…this is the only way out. No, I'm afraid we have to go through this door. To the…Forgotten Vale." He said as he pulled the lever on the right.

We all backed up. Babette and Ria stepped in front of everyone. They were forming up a protective shield. I found myself stepping up as well, joining up beside Ria. Ria nodded to me and smiled. "I'm a werewolf, she's a vampire. What are you going to do?"

I unsheathed my katana. "I can move quickly and I can punch through boulders. Trust me…I'm just as strong as you."

She nodded back. The door started to slide down and I found myself wondering…how the hell do those doors work? We pull a lever and a giant slab of rock slides and glides down. How does it do that? Where does it go? I had so many questions about those doors and no knowledge of how they did it other than… _It was the work of Sheogorath and the Giants. They wanted to keep the enraged bunny-people out of their caves so they enchanted rocks to move on their own._ Damn Esbern and his twisted theories.

When the door fell down, I could see there, sitting on top of a giant flat rock…a giant sabre cat with green glowing lines and dots in its fur. It growled and charged at us. It jumped off the rock, flying right at us so fast that I thought it was flashing. Right as it fell upon up, Esbern flicked the lever on the left and an assortment of spikes flew out towards the door. It was instantaneous. The sabre cat growled and then…it was a bloody mess. It was so fast it was almost comical.

I looked down at the pulverized mess of whatever was left of the sabre cat. No coming back from that. Was that what had run the Hero of Cyrodiil out of the cave? I sure hope so. Just like an Imperial, being so wrapped up in his own prissy pants that he can't lift a finger to fight one big kitty cat.

I looked back at Ruby's terrified face. She was staring down at the bloody lump of illuminescent fur and then glancing up at me, her eyes still wide and fearful. "Is it dead?"

I glanced down at the bloody mess. I glanced up at her and then back to the bloody mess. Was she being serious? There was no way in the world that this thing was going to get up ever again. Not in a million years. I gave it a good kick for good measure. "Hey…you…move." I said, flat-toned. I kicked it again. "Are you ok? Do you need medical aid?" I still got nothing in return. I shrugged to Ruby and said, "I think it's napping."

She seemed to smile and relax. "Good, kill it while it's out." She said, hiding behind Ria again.

Ria only chuckled and turned around. "It's dead, little Khajiit. Nothing could survive that."

Ruby looked up at her. "The Champion of Cyrodiil did…and he ran from that thing."

Esbern stepped in front of us all and said, "Come now…if we stay here and it miraculously regenerates it won't fall for the same trap twice. If we start leaving…at least we won't be around if it does regenerate. Let's just get done so I can go to this war meeting and go home."

So we all started walking into the giant…underground forest. My mouth gaped open as I looked around. It was a lost paradise. Beautiful plants, bountiful deer, a wonderful waterfall. It was all under a rock ceiling. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. "Wow… you don't see that every day." I called out to everyone.

Ruby pushed past me, looking around. She saw some of the glowing deer and smiled. She pulled out her bag and charged after one. "Come here, you shiny deer pelt! I want to collect you!" Just like that she ran off after it.

I looked over at Esbern and said, "Mind if we just…rest a bit? Look, an actual river. Let's see about properly washing up."

Esbern nodded. "Yes, the last bath we had wasn't exactly the most ideal experience I've had." He looked at Ruby as she started stuffing a deer through her bag. "How many do you think she's going to put in her bag?"

I shrugged. "Enough to stabilize a small population, I'm sure. I bet it's because that fur glows. I bet she wants luminescent outfits now."

Pantu nodded, walking up beside me. "It's a Khajiit thing. We are attracted to shiny things. Fur that glows naturally…can you say fashion?"

I looked over at him and said, "Are you _still_ with us? Whatever happened to that job in Dragon Bridge anyway?"

He glanced up at me. "The Golden Tiger? Oh…um…well. I did it?" He smiled sheepishly up at me. He pointed to Ruby and said, "She has it in her bag. I'll return it once we're done here. I left the note, like I was told. I'm sure Brynjolf is waiting patiently with her for its safe return."

"Ah." I said in reply. I had forgotten all about the thieving job in Dragon Bridge because of the Bakers' convention. I guess Pantu hadn't forgotten at all. "When did you pull it off?"

He smiled. "I joined the Grillers Guild just so that I could pull it off. I asked my old friend Zaliika to cause a distraction, something to pull everyone out of the room. Since she was a Glass Chef, I was sure that she could do _something_ to get everyone out of the room. She was angry at my plan and for even trying to include her in it but she did it anyway. She wasn't happy with me, forcing me to stick with this Grillers Guild as a member instead of just walking away. I guess it will come in handy. I can go pretty much anywhere since I'm a registered chef." He crossed his arms and looked over at Zaliika. His tail flicked. "She acts so weird around me these days. When we were kids, she was clingy sure, but it seemed different. Like I was her protector. Now…it's different. Warmer…I wish I knew why I feel so weird around her now."

I tried to conceal a smile which was easy since I have mastered looking miserable and emotionless at the same time. I patted him on the shoulder. "Oh…don't worry about that. I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later."

Suddenly, I heard Ruby cry out in alarm. We all did. We unsheathed our weapons as fast as we could and charged up to where we heard Ruby cry out in pain. I could see her sitting on her butt, her hands behind her, making her crab/slide backwards towards the river. Standing in front of her was something I never hoped to see. Something so vile…so wicked…that it turned my stomach.

It was pale. It had darkened eyes. It wore horizontal black and white stripes on its long-sleeve shirt. It wore clean white gloves, and black pants with a square belt-buckle. It wore a black beret for crying out loud. It wore black make-up in the form of little tear drops over the white face make-up. And worse off, it wore black lipstick…and it was a GUY. And it was standing in front of Ruby; holding his hands out, scuffling them up and down like he was trapped inside a box. It was…

…

A mime.

Esbern was the first one to scream out in challenge. "Take this you Breton-based piece of sub-par Illusion Alteration monster!" A large fireball blasted from his hands.

Ruby stood up and took off as fast as she could. The fireball found its mark and blew up all around the mime. Ruby was lifted off her feet and she flew into the river, screaming in alarm.

We all waited as the smoke started to clear. The fire vanished off as quickly as it appeared. The mime was still standing in his 'box'. An entire outline of the 'box' showed where the fire struck down. The mime was untouched.

I unsheathed my katana and flashed up to him. Well, attempted. When I got close, he reached towards the ground, grasping something that wasn't there. And then he yanked up and brought it straight back down. Next thing I knew, I was falling backwards like someone had pulled a rug out from underneath me.

I groaned as I tried to stand back up. Even as I did so, the mime was wrapping nothing up in his arms. He 'pulled' on something and started waving his hand above his head. Oh…I knew what he was doing. As soon as he launched his hand forward, I felt a rope tighten around my arms. Once he pulled on it, I felt it tighten. He made a flicking motion with his hands and I felt the rope just fly around my arms, adding more and more onto me, securing my arms by my side. Clever little Daedra. A mime was a Daedra, one of the more powerful ones casted by Sheogorath. Only he would create something so…chaotic.

Then the mime started making hand-signs that represented Conjuration magic. I knew them well enough by now. Then he pulled his arms away, reaching for something that I could not see. He held on straight out, the other coming up, grabbing something…and pulling back. Dammit.

Serana vanished into a pair of bats, flying toward the mime. He backed up a little, his face completely impassive. When she reappeared, he 'released' the bow. Serana cried out and grabbed her arm. I could see the tear in her arm's sleeve, as well as the blood staining her arm. The mime quickly pulled back, releasing another one and another one. Serana cried out in pain as she reached down for her legs. Both of her thighs were starting to turn red. Just like that, Serana fell forward. I could see that some type of poison had taken her. Dammit. We were falling too quickly.

Esbern was back up, a flaming flame atronach behind him and a purple misty sword in his hand. He ran down to the mime, slashing with his sword. The mime swung his arms around, I guess deflecting his attacks with his invisible bow or maybe it was a sword now. Hard to tell.

Well mime over here decides to throw himself forward, flicking his hat off his head with his hand. He caught it but started struggling against an invisible wind. Esbern the whole time was lifted off the ground and he flew off into the river, thrown by the same invisible wind.

I watched in slow horror as everyone slowly stepped in to fight the mime. One by one, they all fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Babette was smashed in the face by a blunt object: by a bat…I think. Ruby just stayed in the River and played dead. Pantu was sprayed with a hose…I think. It helped when I saw water materialize out of the middle of the air. Ria was infected with invisible fleas. I was still tied up. Fiirnar caught on fire. He threw himself into the river to quench the fire. Ria jumped in to get rid of the fleas. Zaliika, Pantu, and I, were the only ones not in the river. Well, Serana wasn't in the river, but she was out cold.

I looked at Zaliika. She was the only one left that could fight. She was sitting down to a bubbling cauldron, smiling at the mime. The mime was back to acting like it was trapped behind a box. It looked at her with disinterested eyes. She smiled as she dipped a bowl into the giant cauldron, pulling it out and blowing on it. She carefully brought the bowl of soup over to him and said, "I surrender. Please accept this offering."

The mime glanced down at the bowl and dipped his hand down like he was holding a spoon. He lifted his hand up after 'scooping' a spoonful and opened his mouth, pretending to eat from the spoon. He smiled and then he froze. He grabbed his throat dramatically and when he didn't cry out, steam rolled out of his ears like a loud triumphant call from a miniature mammoth…a sheep, I guess. He turned around, giant flames of fire flying out of his mouth like he was a dragon. He charged off, throwing himself into the river. When he resurfaced, he reached for his stomach in pain. Just like that, his face contorted in pain and then…nothing. It was dead. It sunk under the water.

The ropes contorting me vanished and I was able to move again. All the wounds on Serana's body disappeared and she took a deep breath of relief. Pantu mysteriously became dry. Babette was waking up without a giant bruise on her face.

When I could move, I ran up to Zaliika and brought her in for a quick but powerful hug. "What did you feed him?"

She smiled. "Family recipe." She winked. "Novapenyo surprise."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Yes! A mime! the ultimate scourge of the French. Only they would create such a thing...other than Sheogorath._


	54. Ch 54: Reflection

**Cearbhail:**_ I know this chapter is not of great length. It probably should be because I've not posted anything for 11 days. Yeah...about that. I was busy preparing for my new semester of college. Then there was this whole three days were I found out that Bursar decided to just get rid of my schedule because I had not paid the tuition fee. Then I had to call them, tell them that I have the GI bill, which in turn made me have to go in to the VA to get it fixed. Then classes started and now...I'm sick. Bleh.._

_Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I'm glad we're getting somewhere with this. It's been a long five days, very long five days. But at least we have fresh air, fresh game, and a never-spill cup filled with holy elf water. It's yellowy and they say that they 'blessed' it themselves. I'm not sure what that means, but it smells weird._

_So, we've been doing this whole…pilgrimage thing and we're almost done. All the glowing mirrors are almost filled. We just have one left and according to Esbern's Clairvoyance spell, it's right through a heavily built Falmer township, complete with flying insect nests. Yeah, we've already passed most of it, killing them with little trouble. It just never seemed to end, though. It was like we were getting further and further deep into this Falmer colony. But, we've finally broken through and are now standing in front of a huge frozen castle. Complete with a statue of some elven god._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"How long has it been since we had a bardic speech?" Ruby asked as we silently trudged towards the foreboding castle.

I scoffed. She had a very short memory if she did not remember the one she _just_ gave. "You just gave one about eating shiny mushrooms and why it's probably bad for us."

"No, no. Not small bardic speeches…" Ruby said, shaking her head at me. "I mean the giant world changing speeches. Like the one Asger gave to me when I was ready to die namelessly. Or like the one I gave about enjoying honey nut treats. Or that whole Asger/Ulfric ultimate glare contest? When? How long ago?" Ruby said, looking at me with her eyes growing with concern.

"Why does that matter so much?" I asked in return. Seriously, I didn't care one bit about those speeches. All it ever did was get us in trouble or waste time.

Ruby looked offended. "A voice that is silent caries no change. Think about all Asger did just by talking. He saved my life, gave me a reason to live…"

"He also resolved our Argonian killer." I said back.

"Who I have grown to have feelings for." Ruby sniped back. "If Asger hadn't kept him…I'd probably wouldn't know these feelings."

I face-palmed. Ok, she had me there. Even if that was by circumstantial chance that we would not have met someone else within her parameters. "Point, you. Don't forget about the speech he gave about just why pancakes will always beat waffles."

She laughed. "Oh yeah….to a waffle convention too." She shook her head. "Took me days to get all that syrup out of my mane. But what about the speech he gave to that blind woman about not giving up."

I shook my head. "No, that was just as bad. She ran after the troll that killed her husband. I heard she ran right into a beehive….she didn't make it out alive."

Esbern growled from behind us. "Well, what about the time he convinced Delphine and I to…well…keep that stupid dragon alive?"

I shook my head to that one as well. They might have forgotten, but that dragon went on to kill another village. I don't care if it was a mother just protecting its young…it still killed all of Rorikstead. "Nope, we lost Rorikstead in that."

"Oh yeah." Esbern said, scratching his beard quietly. "Well, what about that speech about pigs and horses?"

I raised my hand to him, signaling to him with one finger that if he as so much as tried to remind me about that day, I would kill him. "Let's never discuss that event…_ever_ again." Ugh…I…just can't even remember what happened. All my memory was fuzzy, like I forced myself to forget it. All I remember were talking horses and grumpy pigs.

Ruby looked interested. "What? What happened?"

Esbern silenced her. "Ruby, that was right before we met you. In fact, because of the event, we were forced to go hide in a cave for a couple days while the city guards chased down all the pigs and horses that escaped during the uprising."

"Uprising?" She echoed Esbern's words with as much growing enthusiasm as I hated.

Esbern sighed. "I'd rather not discuss it anymore." He looked over at me and with my own scary glare, I silenced him from talking any further about the subject.

Ruby crossed her arms and huffed in her usual manner. "Fine…it's not like it beats the time Asger tried to get Lydia to learn magic."

That actually caused me to drop to my knees. I hugged myself as tight as I could. "No, please don't make me remember that."

It was too late, I was already going back to revisit the old memory that happened just the day after we left Riverwood. In fact, it was a day or two before we met Maleek.

…

The wind was lightly blowing across the leaves in the tree I was sitting against. The breeze felt good on my skin. Ruby and Cecilie (back when she was eleven) were down by the river, practicing their new crystal slash. I watched in silence as they slashed with their blades. Then there would be a sudden flash of light and the water would part into two separate waves as the energy slid through the water.

Esbern and Delphine were busy collecting berries and Asger was silently sitting next to me. Then he said the following words that changed my life for the next day. He looked over at me and said, "I've been thinking. Cecilie and Ruby won't always be around and my magic…well it sucks. Will you be willing to learn healing spells?"

My response was the housecarl's. "Anything you wish, my thane."

He smiled and pulled out a magic book out of nowhere. He shoved it into my chest and said, "Well, ok. Here you go." When I took it and opened it up, he looked less sure. What the heck type of writing was this? I didn't understand a single word in here. "Um…Lydia…the book's upside down."

I nodded and spun the book around. "I knew that….just trying to see if you noticed. Congrats on that, my thane." As soon as I looked down at the giant circle incantation, there was a sudden burst of knowledge and my head started throbbing. The book seemed to vaporize into dust, and I pushed myself forward, crashing onto my elbows as I grabbed my head in pain. It felt like the world was splitting in two: this more tangible form, and then there was the whole…invisible form.

Then if that wasn't enough, I started hearing voices call. _Mortal, prepare yourself. My day of reckoning is at hand!_

After that, all I could remember was Asger screaming, horses, buildings burning down, I levitated water, mammoths stood on two legs and danced in circles. And then there were all the colors of fire that burst from the ground. It was amazing. But…apparently that was all a dream.

When I woke up, everyone was standing around me. Asger shrugged and said, "Oh well, I guess she can't learn magic. Well, I'm going to prepare a fire pit. Ruby, go fetch us some game. Esbern and Delphine, go find out where we're going."

That was right before I met Maleek, only a few hours later. I must have dozed off for a couple days. Anyway, I later found out that in several cities around the country a witch that looked a lot like me materialized out of nowhere and did the following: burn down a few towns, compelling mammoths to dance, released waves of cats and dogs like rain, and erupted a few hot springs into massive rainbow-colored steam. Ever since then, I've refused to learn any more magic stuff.

…

I was drawn back to the present. I had been walking on autopilot the whole time. We were finally up at the castle. I could see the massive elven statue just inches away from me. Esbern started talking about the statue, about just how old it was and how it resembled the old elven deity Auriel, which was supposedly Akatosh in disguise as an elf. And for Khajiits it was Alkosh, the first cat. And for the Ka'Po'Tun, it was some other cat that was the first to become a dragon. So many different names and forms for the same one dragon deity. Figures. We all agree he exists, but cannot figure out which one of our stories is correct, so we fight over it endlessly. It makes no sense at all.

"Careful, Zaliika. Careful. We trekked over the entire forgotten plains to fill this thing with holy water, don't you dare spill it now." Esbern said as Zaliika started walking up to the giant bowl. "Careful, don't trip, Zaliika. Whatever you do…don't trip. Because if you do…we have to turn around and do the whole thing all over again. And I do not want to have to fight that mime…ever again." Esbern called, even louder.

Zaliika is usually a quiet person, I think. But I could see the agitation in her eyes. Once Esbern yelled 'careful' again, she spun around and began to say something to him. But…that's not what happened. Her foot caught on her chef's uniform and she fell forward.

Just like that Zaliika tripped, spilling the water all over the floor. Everyone groaned. Serana cursed under her breath and walked away from us. "I just _knew_ that being around you people would only be a detriment to my assignment. Everything was going fine: I found the seer, went to get some lunch before leaving. But then I run into you…" She points to Babette, "then you." She points at me. "And then him!" She points to Fiirnar. "And then there's the werewolves, the dragons, the Falmer, the mime…now we have to go back to the beginning of the fricking cave…to fetch more holy water…because our little chef can't keep her balance for half a minute!"

"Serana." Esbern said, walking up beside her. He planted his hand on her shoulder and said, "Calm down…and look below you."

I directed my eyes down as well and saw that the water was flowing into all the lines in the tiles. I guess the land was slopped because the holy water was flowing right to the giant circle shaped like the sun. When it filled up completely, the doors started to shift open. Well…I guess that's one way of opening the door. I looked up at the giant cup that stood upon a pedestal. I was sure that we had to dump the water in there, though. Eh, whatever works these days.

Esbern patted Zaliika on the back, saying, "Good work, Zaliika. That would have taken seconds longer if not minutes. And minutes is something we just don't have."

I crossed my arms. "You planned that, didn't you?"

Esbern only smiled in reply. As we started walking into the temple, we found ourselves growing quiet. Standing all around us were frozen statues of Falmer and their little insect companions. They were everywhere. Frozen. They had perfect forms to them. Some of them were carrying swords, staffs, potions. It was amazing some of the things we could have taken. Once I reached for a potion, Esbern pulled my hand away from it.

"Don't do it. Any disturbances here might result in these Falmer breaking from their icy cages. What if this is a temptation test? To see if we'll grab these items and then be swarmed by hundreds of frozen Falmer?"

I pulled my hand out of his and scoffed. "Ok, I thought running into the last snow elf under a giant network of underwater rivers was stupid…but come on! Frozen, dead frozen, remember that, _dead_ frozen Falmer…just all coming back to life because I grab _one_ little potion out of this one hand?"

Esbern nodded. "Remember the world we live in, Lydia. We just fought a mime…and almost lost. Do you really want to test my theory?"

I shook my head and pulled myself away from the potion. He was right. Best not to tempt fate into being predictable like that. And just like that we were cautiously walking through the frozen temple, past all the frozen Falmer. We started at them like they might break loose of their frozen bodies and assault us at any second. I spent more than enough time looking back at Ruby, to see if her quick fingers found more reasons than none to grab the amethyst I saw in the hands of one of the dead Falmer. She passed it up, not even glancing at it. I could tell she was doing all she could to ignore it.

Ruby smiled as she leaned over to Esbern. "Remember when Asger tried to beat M'aiq in a race?" I could tell it was a farce to keep herself from thinking about the assortment of rare gems all around us. We were quickly trying to get away before she lost her control.

Esbern laughed, pushing himself and Ruby faster down the hall, trying to get her away from the row of crystals. "I remember that. He invited M'aiq down to the temple and they raced all the way to Markarth. Then I had to read the rest about it in my recon reports. Something about a murder, Forsworn attacking the city, prisoners escaping the silver mines, a dragon attacking Markarth. Then there was some thief who broke into the Dwarven museum…ah…good days." He shook his head. "You have to admit…we attract a very weird crowd of followers. Everywhere we go…things happen."

I started thinking back on my life. Sure, I had some crazy adventures growing up. Hanging out with Hadvar and Ralof was crazy enough and they got me in plenty of trouble just between their private war to win my attention. But my life was pretty standard if I thought about it. Well, until I met Asger. Then life became a whole new level of crazy. Khajiits, dragons, vampires….werewolves. You name it, I probably have run from it. Flamboyant pirates, draugr dressed in Dwarven armor, mimes…chefs, and even knee-slapping bards. This adventure has been one heck of a ride, one I'm sure has not come to an end yet.

Serana only sighed. "If you attract as much crazy as I've heard in the past hour of you guys talking about your past, I think once this whole thing is over…I think I might just stick around for a while. I've been locked away in a coffin for thousands of years, probably. It's very boring, and living with royal vampires is just as boring, if not too political. A little excitement is probably just what I need." She looked back at me and Esbern. "And you guys seem to have a lot of excitement on your hands."

Babette patted Serana on the arm, seeing as she couldn't reach her back. "Don't worry. I've been with this group for a while now…I can say that you'll fit in well enough."

Serana looked down at her. "Why did you join them anyway? I mean, I can see you maybe feeding off of them, but other than that, why join?"

Babette shrugged. "Three reasons, really. The first being that Maleek, my friend's son, is hanging around and I promised I'd bring him back in one piece if I found him. The second being that he was hanging around so that he could kill the leader of this group, which we have both agreed that we might or might not soon. And the third…" She looked over at me and smiled. "I know Lydia's daughter, fought alongside her in the past. We're old friends and I just know that if that girl's here and she's not yet born…that there is something big going down and I just want to do my part to correct it."

Ah, so she has finally given her true reason for being here with me. It wasn't what I thought it was about, but I guess it would be possible that she fought back with my daughter some odd amount of years ago. She mentioned the Aedra Wars before and so had my daughter. So, they must have been around together back then. Wow, I think I just learned something about the past, when usually there is something happening that keeps me from finding this stuff out. Good thing Asger's not here. He would have done something to distract me.

"Foolish mortals. Why do you dare walk into my chambers unanoucned?" I looked up to see a giant ice statue of a snow elf dressed in armor. He sat comfortably on his throne and even through the ice, I could see him glaring down at me. I suddenly lost control of my fear and I took a step back. If…if that elf could live in the ice like that…wouldn't that mean…

One by one all the ice statues around us started shattering. Frozen statues of Falmer started unsheathing their weapons and coming at us. Hundreds of them.

"You will be executed for trespassing. Good bye."

…

Crap.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Chapters should start coming back, but not every two days. I have too much Russian to be coming here every day. So expect wednesdays and Fridays, Saturdays, even Sundays. Never expect Mondays. I have class until almost 10 that night. Oh and Fridays because I have Kendo. Unless it's early like today. Anyway, let me know what you thought of this._


	55. Ch 55: So many questions

**Cearbhail:**_ Finally, I'm back. Ok, first off. Pancakes. Second off, syrup. Third off, orange juice. That's all I have to say about this chapter. Oh and... I'm glad I chose this journal entry. So much easier than a whole fight scene. I liked this better._

_DISCLAIMER. For anyone who wants to keep at least some amount of secrets about the Dawnstar campaign should change the channel now and skip this chapter and go straight to the next one. Because not only is that chapter going to be the big opening battle sequence at the vampire castle, but it's going to be a giant epic fight against a vampire castle! Yeah, same thing, said twice makes it twice as awesome. True story. Anyway, hope you enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_You know that moment that you know that you should have turned around and run away? Yeah…we just thought of that. Hundreds of ice-covered Falmer chasing us, giant summoned frost atronachs…we ran. Well, tried to. The head corrupted snow elf raised his hands and his giant frozen wonderland of a castle started cracking up and falling down on top of us as debris. A rather large piece of perfect-sized ice falls into the rather skinny entrance, cutting us off from retreat._

_So, we spun around and just…unleashed all hell on this guy. Within seconds, we decimated all his forces, melted his castle, and I personally bent him down over my knee and spanked his ass. I patronized him for throwing a fit and making us go through and kill hundreds of half-dead blind betrayed elves just to reach him in the first place. If he hadn't been petty enough to run away from his duties and get himself turned into a Falmer god…then I wouldn't have to come out here and fight him. He had to suffer before I killed him. It's only right._

_So, after that was over and he apologized for being such a tool, he explained to us what he really was. Dun dun dun…he's a vampire. Did…did I just write that? Dun dun dun? Crap…I'm turning into a bard. I knew it's contagious, just like vampirism. What's next? I'll be spinning a giant wooden ladle around? Oh gods…preserve me._

_Lydia…_

…

"So, you're a vampire." Esbern said, pointing at the snow elf with sharp pointy fangs. He smirked, shrugged, and then nodded sheepishly. Esbern squinted his eyes, like he was questioning what was happening. Then, he pointed over to Serana. "And you're a vampire." Then he scratched the top of his bald head. "And we're at war with vampires, who are at war with…vampires, who are both at war with vampire hunters. And this all started just a few weeks ago…all of the sudden…during the rise of the dragons, the civil war to reclaim Skyrim or doom her, and an invincible dragon god who was the first offspring of an asexual fire god…" He shook his head.

Esbern just turned around. "Forget this. I'm getting too old for this (stuff, he said stuff)."

Ria held up her hand and directed her gaze to Esbern. "I'm a werewolf dragon-eater. Does that help with your mental breakdown?"

Esbern shook his head, still looking over the falling landscape with rising mountains in the background. He took a deep breath as a nice cold blast of fresh air rolled over us all. He finally turned around, a smile growing on his old wrinkled face. "No, not really. If I had to guess…this entire war campaign is featured around….vampires." He looked at the vampire snow elf and said, "So, why are you guarding a bow anyway?"

The vampire smiled and flashed his teeth in a totally violent way. "Waiting for the one who's coming to claim the bow."

Esbern only chuckled. "So…you are here, only so that someone can come and take the bow. That is your only reason for sitting in a frozen castle with no social contact…for possibly hundreds of years, trapped in ice… just because you're waiting for the "chosen one" to reclaim the bow that you stole from your brother."

The vampiric elf only nodded. "Yeah…it sounded like a better idea at the time and then…eh." He shrugged and gestured that he only went along with it because he was already doing it.

"What do you know of the bow?" Serana said. She rushed up to him, grabbing him by his plate of armor. She pulled him close to her. "And what else do you know about _anything_ associated with the bow?"

He didn't seem scared of her. He smirked. "I know that I'm the one who wrote the prophecy about female vampires born of the Daedric Prince being the only ones who can taint the bow's holy magic and use it to blot out the sun. Shoot Auriel in the eye, blind him. Blind the world too."

"How does the bow work?" Esbern said, walking up. "How can you do such a thing with a bow?"

The vampiric snow elf chuckled. "You can blow out the sun by pouring the blood of a daughter of Coldharbour all over the bow."

All of us froze in our spots. Serana let out a worn out sigh. "Well, I knew that already. So, it's my blood that makes the bow capable to shutting the sun up?"

He nodded. "Yes, and now that you're here and I have the bow…" He smiled to her. "Please give me your arm. Let's make this as painless as possible."

Serana only shrugged and walked up to him. When he came to her hand with a knife, she snapped her hand up, thrusting it right through his neck. He let out a surprised cry of alarm as his head rolled off his shoulders, landing on the ground.

The still flinching head blinked up at Serana for a second before saying, "Oh, that's really mature…bleh.." With that final 'bleh' his eyes rolled up and he stuck out his tongue. That was the most sure sign that he was dead, well…dead again. Finally dead, not undead, which is not dead, but _dead_ dead.

Esbern only sighed before saying, "So…did we get enough information that he was no longer necessary?"

Serana nodded. "Yes, I can fill you in, right now." She licked the blood off her hand and turned to face us. "My father heard the prophecy that involved me, a bow, and taking the sun away. He did not know which bow it was, where it was, or how to make the bow work, or how I was involved. He only knew that with the bow and me, he could kill the sun. Now, I know that the blood that flows in my veins can corrupt the bow and then blot out the sun. There, prophecy unfolded."

"It's not quite that simple."

We all turned around to see the original snow elf that sent us into this place. He looked at his brother's head and shook it. "I hope he died well."

Pantu crossed his arms and scoffed. "He died insulting us."

The snow elf only smiled and raised his hands to the sky. "Oh, totally awesome heavenly father of sunlight. Give to us, your most sacred bow of blinding awesomeness."

Ruby laughed openly. "Do you really have to embellish like that?"

The snow elf nodded. "Yes, he likes to be praised after all."

Just like that a golden ray of light shone down from the sky, landing on the dead elf's body. There materialized the bow on his back, all fancy and curvy like any legendary weapon of the past.

Serana bent down to pick it up. As she did, I saw her become enveloped in a giant golden light. Her hair floated up and her eyes were drawn to the curve of the bow. She looked up at the light, whispering, "I really don't like the sun." She looked down at the snow elf and smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill the sun. I dislike things enough as they are. I don't need them becoming worse." She looked down at the bow and said, "So, how does it work, this…sun-blotting power?"

The elf looked down at the bow and said, "Arrows. You apply your blood to the arrows and they become what I call blood-cursed arrows. Then you…"

"Blood-cursed arrows?" Serana asked. "You're not even going to be more creative like Coldharbour-kissed arrows?"

He shrugged. "Sure, whatever. So you load the blood-cursed arrows onto Auriel's Bow's string."

"That's another thing." Esbern said. "Auriel is a giant flaming dragon that is invincible. What the heck does he need a bow for?"

"It's not for him; it's for us, his disciples." The elf said in return. He looked over at Serana and said, "When you release the arrow, the bow will register that it has released a tainted arrow. That in turn will shut down the sun."

"Why?" Ruby asked. "Why would it shut down the sun just by using a vampire's blood on the tip of an elven arrow?"

"Because vampires are born of Daedra blood. And we all know that Daedra and Aedra blood do not work together."

"But since the Aedra are so much powerful than the Daedra (as such the case of the Oblivion Crisis), wouldn't the bow just override the Daedra blood? Especially since the blood is half mortal and therefore not fully Daedric and even from a lesser being?" Esbern asked.

The elf sighed and rubbed his temples. "Please, just stop making this into a logical debate. Just accept the fact that this bow, when the blood-cursed elven arrow is released, will blot out the sun."

"Then why hasn't someone done it before?" I asked. I figured it was time that I got my voice into this verbal beat-down. Hey, don't judge. I just spent the last two days killing a bunch of blind elves over this thing. I deserve this release of tension. Just like everyone else here. We were all cranky and this elf was the root of our two day pain.

The elf shrugged. "Because vampires never cared before? Heck, I don't know."

Babette scoffed and looked away. "I think you're just making this up. There is only one way to find out." She looked up at Serana. "And that is for you to become emo and make yourself bleed on an elven arrowhead."

We all stood there for a second, looking at Serana. She looked down at the bow and then back up at us. "But if what the elf says is true then once I pull the string back…that's it. Game over. No going back and my father wins. He and every strong royal vampire clan will just fly out into the night and take over the world. Because apparently it will become so easy for him to overrun the Thalmor, the Nords, the Empire, and just about every living vampire hunter alive. If we just destroy the bow, there is no chance that it can ever be used again. No chance that any vampire could use it to take over the world."

The snow elf raised his hand up. "Your father is a vampire lord, correct?"

Serana nodded. "Yes, and a very powerful one at that."

"Then keep the bow and use it to destroy him. The bow, conveniently, unleashes a flash of sunlight upon its release. Anything within the orb of sunlight is burned on contact. Being a vampire and weakened by sunlight…it can possibly kill him."

Serana only chuckled. "But then what if he kills me and then uses the bow against the sun?"

The elf only chuckled. "You came here looking for answers about the bow. Answers that only you know. That means that your father does not know how to use the bow. Do you really think he'll just…dip elven arrows in your blood and then fire up at the sun, hoping that it would just blot out on its own?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly how our world works. I'm sure he's figured it out by now. In fact, I bet he has a spy watching us."

Fiirnar started looking around. "You sure do have trust issues, don't you Lydia?"

I held a laugh/punch to Fiirnar's face. I spun around and whacked him with the side of my katana. "You don't get to talk. Bad! Bad Thalmor!"

"What? I-I'm not a dog!"

Esbern flicked him in the back of the head. "No! No talking! Bad Thalmor." He pointed to a stool and said, "Go! Sit. Now."

Fiirnar cast a glance over to Esbern, did a double-take, rubbed the back of his head, and slowly trudged off. "I'm not a dog." He mumbled to himself before sitting down on the stool in the corner of the open balcony that was once a royal chamber covered in thick ice. It was amazing just how incredibly easily this entire place turned into a perfect outside balcony now that the inside of the walls and roof were blown up during the fight.

Serana was looking at the elf now, nodding. "Well, this has been an…enlightening trip." She gestured to the bow. "Thanks again for the…holy deadly weapon that can easily destroy the source of warmth for our world." She forced a quick curtsy and turned to us. "Ok, how are we getting out of here?"

The elf smiled. The ground started to shake. Five pillars started rising out of the ground, coming straight up behind him. Walls slid out, forming a small pagoda, like the many ones we say trying to find this place. There was one glowing wall that showed us the entrance to the outside world. Right to the entrance to the tunnel that led us to the giant underground river that led us to him. "Take this exit and you'll find yourselves where you started. It's the only way out."

I nodded. "Of course it is."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Man, everything I've ever wanted to say about that campaign...finally._


	56. Ch 56: Gargoyle ambush

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, a new chapter. Short, but enjoyable. Hopefully._

_Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, today's the day. The castle has been surrounded by vampire hunters, bards, bakers, Blades, and batwings. By batwings, I mean vampire lords. Well, two at least. The tiny one and the bitchy one. Ok, they're both bitchy._

_The only reason we have stalled the attack is because we're still waiting for Asger and his team to join up with us. That's hasn't stopped waves upon waves of these rocky constructs that resemble dragonic vampire ogre thingies from coming to life and charging us from time to time. More just kept coming, but the bards and bakers have held them off. I don't know how chefs and musicians fight so well but…damn they fight well._

_Oh, and there in one more thing. Ruby found motivation for fighting these creatures. When she shattered the first one, it fell into a giant rubble. Inside that giant rubble were vast random crystals. Some of them Ruby said were very rare or even that she'd never seen them before. So…she started crashing into more of the giant rock thingies hoping to collect more crystals. She's in crystal heaven._

_Lydia.._

_…_

The giant vampire castle was very huge up close. There was only one way in: the long bridge that stood over a giant chasm. On that bridge were regenerating constructs that Serana called 'Gargoyles'. Every time we smashed one, another started forming out of the bridge. I wasn't sure how much longer we could keep up the attacks, but we were waiting for the final round of heroes to appear. And if I know Asger and Cecilie…they will arrive desperately at the last second and ruin something. We were better off not waiting at all.

I glanced around. I was at the very end of the giant formation. Up in front were the bakers, behind them, the bards. The Blades stood right behind that and then…there was me. The vampire hunters were the ones surrounding the island, making sure that every possible escape route was closed off. Babette, Ruby, Serana, and Pantu were all up frontlines, trying to make a clear path to the castle. With the vampire hunters shooting down at random intervals, there was no chance that any of the vampires could come out to join the fight with the gargoyles. Of course, I doubt that they'd want to.

So far, we were whittling down the gargoyles. I for one was getting tired of waiting, but of course, we had the advantage while we were outside. Our plan was simple. We were going to wait for daybreak. Once the day arrived, we were going to level the castle, let in all the light, and shoot the bow into the mass. The massive sunlight that followed would cook all the vampires within. Nothing easier than that.

"Here comes another wave of gargoyles!" Baker Beatrice called from the front. "Full Course, assemble!"

I watched from the very back of the formation. I would have loved to be up there, fighting…but I was waiting for Asger. Correction, I was ordered to wait for Asger. Esbern's orders. Fiirnar waited beside me. He wanted to meet the Dragonborn. I wanted him to go up front and do something useful but hey…that would be asking a Thalmor to do something useful. We all know they can't do that.

So, here I watched with Fiirnar as the Full Course gathered into a choreographed dance/formation as ten gargoyles screamed and hissed, charging right for them. At one point the green Bosmer Salad chef whose name I keep forgetting looked over at Stros and said, "Your footing is all wrong! You are supposed to mirror me…not Darius!"

Stros glared over at him and screamed, "I _am_ mirroring your form, Nucleus. You're mirroring the wrong person. You have to be the opposite of Darius!"

Darius only shook his head in disbelief. "Glass Chefs…focus. For the love of processed whole dairy, we have enemies coming to attack us."

It was at that last second that the ground behind him exploded into dust. Him and the Full Course flew off their feet, hitting the floor with hard sickening _thwacks._

Ruby stood behind the Full Course with a wave of bards, all aimed with their flutes and drums. She raised her hand up in the baker's symbol of the index finger and pinky finger. It was a sign of respect. "Bards, support!"

All the gargoyles started to rain upon them, almost by the twenties now. The Altmer guild master of the Bard's College looked down at Ruby, smiling. "What do you say, little claw? Shall we blast them away with music, or stare them to death?"

Ruby smiled. "Let's stare them." All the bards leaned forward as the waves of gargoyles fell upon them. I could see the glares from where I was standing. All the gargoyles froze in place. Then all at once, they the gargoyles started vibrating. Then, they exploded into dust. Crystals rained over everyone and Ruby screamed out in joy, jumping up and down as she tried to catch them all.

Fiirnar, who silently watched beside me, shook his head in amazement. "I will never understand how they do that."

I nodded. "You and me both."

"Another wave!" Ruby screamed out in joy. The bards that stood beside her all fell to their knees, rubbing their eyes in exhaustion. Only the grand master stood beside her. His own stance was beginning to weaken. That was their fifth glaring contest with gargoyles. Five of the bards had already stumbled away, blind in either one or both eyes. They couldn't take much more. It was time we sent in the Blades. All four of them.

The gargoyles were now charging in again. The bards had still not recovered.

"Full Course, assemble!" Darius screamed. The five Glass Chefs all rose up off the ground, as if gaining their spirit to fight. "Hit them with our specialty techniques!"

Baker Beatrice pulled out a wooden spoon. She brushed away her cape and I could see a belt around her waist that held small cupcakes. She jumped forward at a gargoyle. As the gargoyle slashed at her, she spun her spoon around. "Magic icing!" A giant wave of white foam materialized out of nowhere, covering the magical construct. Beatrice landed on its head, pushed off, threw one of the cupcakes on her belt at it, and spun around in mid-air. She held out the baker's hand-sign and winked right as the icing and the cupcake ignited into a giant explosion. She landed in a perfect crouch, holding her pose as icing and crystals started raining down all around her. When it was over, she flicked her bright red hair and turned to face her next opponent.

Fiirnar, still beside me, cleared his throat and started pulling at his collar. It seemed like he was having a hard time breathing. When he finally caught his breath, I could hear him mutter, "Is it me, or is it getting hot out here?" Then he straightened himself and shook off his coat. "That is unbecoming behavior for one such as myself." I couldn't help but chuckle at him.

Stros had a much bulkier fight. Two massive cleavers. "Cleaver in my left hand, cleaver in my right. Slash them both together and you get…" Three gargoyles split in four pieces as he slashed once. "colorful rocks." Very uneventful.

The green Bosmer whose name I'm sure I should know by now pulled out a rose as three gargoyles fell upon him. "By all that is leafy, I swear to.." That was all he could say before a giant claw contacted with his face. His face shredded apart and I saw him fall to the ground in a thousand little pieces. When I looked closer, I could see that it was all lettuce. "Vegan powers…activate!" I heard a voice scream from behind the gargoyles. There, levitating, was Bosmer-has-a-name. His body was covered with a dark green glow, his eyes lit up bright yellow, his hair flowing straight up. He stuck out his hand and said, "Vegan power…Toss Salad!" All the lettuce flew off the ground, flying around randomly. The lettuce must have been hard as razors because it carved right through the gargoyles like they were nothing.

My favorite soup making Argonian was standing with her giant wooden staff spoon. She had five gargoyles facing off against her. As the first one came falling down on top of her, she spun off the ground using her spoon as a pole-vault. She landed on top of the gargoyle, pulling out a vial of something liquid. "Chef's special skill…kidney stone removal soup." She poured it over the first gargoyle's head. It dissolved immediately. The rest of the rock body fell to the ground, lifeless.

The other gargoyles didn't hesitate before they turned around and slashed at her. I thought she was a goner and for some reason…I was still not budging from my comfortable spot. But, when the gargoyles started slashing at her, she just…waved her spoon around, intercepting each slash with either the tip or the rounded spoon part. When that was no longer enough, she pushed off the lifeless husk of the dead gargoyle, flying above the other gargoyles. She pulled out a magical cauldron from nowhere and screamed, "Appear, mogwart soup." Just like that a giant wave of the same soup I saw earlier flew out of her cauldron, consuming the gargoyles. They melted away in seconds.

Darius was the last one with any gargoyles near him. Twelve. He stood there, arms crossed, eyes closed. He was calm, collected. When the first gargoyle fell on top of him, he ripped off his giant overcoat. I could see the tubes of alcoholic milk strapped to his back. Tubes ran from his back, to all around his stomach, all the way up to his arms. He stuck his arms out, grinning like a schoolboy. "Hope you're thirsty." He said in an ominous voice. A second later, a giant wave of milk flowed from in front of him. It washed up the leftover soup and splashed onto the gargoyles. They only had a second before they dissolved into crystals.

I watched as Ruby screamed out in joy as she started digging through all the piles of rocks and crystals. She scooped up as much as she could and shoved them into her bag. At least she was stocking up. It was more than she had earlier. And it was important for her to collect as much as she could. If she was ever planning on opening her own crystal institute, she would need as many as she could collect.

Fiirnar nodded and glanced over to me. "I don't know how you've managed to become friends with these…creative fighters, but well done, Miss Battle-Born. Not only did they join you on a whim, but they've stayed and fought as hard as they have. You can't buy fighters like this, you can only earn them."

I found myself actually smiling. "Shut up, elf." I said light-heartedly. I reached over and punched him in the arm lightly.

He shrieked in self-defense and rubbed his arm. "Hey…that hurts."

I was about to retort, but I heard a voice calling to us from behind. I spun around and looked out to the ocean. I could see the ship coming our way. There, standing near the front was Cecilie and Asger. They were both waving to me as enthusiastically as they could. I waved back, happy to see that they were finally coming.

When the ship stopped, everyone lowered themselves into a tiny dingy. It took a few minutes before the smaller boat reached us. When it did, Cecilie was the first one to step off the boat, smiling like a demon. She looked over at me for a second before rushing in for a hug.

"Mom!" She screamed. "I'm happy to 'see' you." She pulled me away and glanced over at Fiirnar. She gave him a weird look before saying, "You? What are you doing here?"

Fiirnar gave her a like-wise look. "Wait a second. I remember you."

Cecilie's eyes turned hard and she threw herself in front of me. "Mom, step back. This is Fiirnar…and he's dangerous."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha, this should be good. A few of you might understand the twist this is taking, but...well...we'll see. I kinda like Fiirnar and to get rid of him to replace him with my ultimate bad guy is well...it's too early. Eh, I'll flip a coin._


	57. Ch 57: No Sunday

**Cearbhail:**_ What? Another new chapter so soon? and it's revised? Yeah, I had to. I wanted this out of my head as soon as possible and then I wanted to make it better because I rushed it originally. I hope it's up to standard (now). let me know if it's not (which I believe that it is now)._

_Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So…Fiirnar is bounded up. I still don't know why, but Cecilie insisted on tying him up before we 'talked' to him. There's something about his past that I don't know, but she does. Go figure. I was right. Thalmor guy is evil. Who would have guessed._

_Oh, and while I'm chatting with Fiirnar, Asger is marching up to the castle with Serana and Babette. All the vampire hunters are still holding positions around the castle. The bards are supplying Asger's fighting theme song so he's pumped up while blasting ice out his nose. The chefs are preparing a gigantic feast for the after-party. Ruby is taking a nap. Ok, she's in her bag rearranging her stocks and meeting the new crystal spirits. For all I know, she could be taking a nap while she does that. Pantu has joined her and so has Maleek. That should be an interesting conversation to eavesdrop on later._

_Lydia._

_…_

The roof of the watchtower that overlooked the coast near the castle was the location we chose to tie our 'friend' Fiirnar up to a chair. It was a nice spot: cozy, secluded, only one exit. It had a nice view of the whole island. I guess that's why the vampires built a watchtower here. We could even see Solitude. If this spot were being used for anything else other than interrogating a captured enemy, I think I would sit down and relax for a minute. But, as it is,…we _are_ holding a captive Thalmor, we _are_ fighting a giant war against vampires in an effort to keep the sun from blotting out, and to top it all off…I still have to introduce Ria to Asger. That should be interesting.

I watched as Cecilie paced back and forth, staring Fiirnar in the eye. When she said that he was dangerous, he mildly suggested that he wasn't. Cecilie still wanted to tie him up either way. She insisted that he would be easier to talk to if he was tied up to a chair. I do not want to know how she knows that. But Fiirnar did not resist or try to run. He seemed more astonished that Cecilie was here instead of overly suspicious. He didn't have that egotistical maniacal look that our Thalmor friends always had when they were plotting something. He looked rather peaceful, even while staring my blind daughter in the eye as she paced around in front of him, trying to get a reaction.

I guarded the stairwell leading down. This wasn't really my fight. Cecilie wanted to deal with him herself. I was just here to make sure he didn't try to escape. The stairwell was the only way down and I could guarantee that he wasn't coming anywhere near me. Not if I could help it. He could jump off the roof, but there was a four story drop. So…if Fiirnar wanted to jump off the roof, he was more than welcome to. I wouldn't stop him. I also wouldn't clean him up.

"Why are you in Skyrim? Why aren't you in Cyrodiil with your father?" Cecilie asked Fiirnar. She had a bit of an edge in her voice. It almost sounded like fear. What on Nirn could she be afraid of?

Fiirnar only shrugged. He still looked very calm and complacent. He did shift his weight though as he started talking. "Skyrim is in a hard place right now: civil war, dragons, some…other plans already in motion." He shook his head in disgust. "And now this whole vampire conquest. This entire country is one giant ball of war/chaos. All the other provinces are in peace. They've made their peace with the Aldmeri Dominion and by doing so…with each other. They don't need protectors as much as they do politicians. I'm no politician; I'm a guardian, a gentleman. If I can be of use somewhere…there I will go."

Cecilie only nodded. "Ok, I'll give you that. I know you well enough to know you're very idealistic for who you are. You are not your father's son in any way. So, what is your purpose for hanging around my mother?" She looked over at me. I could see her fear betrayed her. She was worried for me. That's what this was all about.

Fiirnar's eyes bulged. It was that look of utter surprise. If he didn't know I was Cecilie's mother, he did now. He looked over at me, his eyes shining in a new light. "Ah…Miss Battle-Born." He glanced over to Cecilie, a small smile growing on his face. He nodded to her and said, "I should have guessed that you are the daughter of such a woman." He shook his head in fascination. "So, your full name is Cecilie Battle-Born. Not Lilly Valdenneim." Fiirnar started chuckling to himself. It had that edge of knowing and irony. "All these years…my father's been hunting one little time-traveling girl and…you're the daughter of Lydia Battle-Born." He started chuckling under his breath. "Oh how things fall in place."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "What do I have to do with this?"

He looked over at me and bowed his head in respect. "No disrespect intended, Lady Battle-Born. But you're on the Aldmeri Dominion watch list. You are the Dragonborn's servant after all…and we've seen you in Blade armor. A double threat to the Dominion."

I was on the Thalmor watch list? What the heck did that mean? I was being spied upon at all times? And all because I was chosen to be Asger's bodyguard for life? Damn you, Asger.

He nodded to me as my eyes started to show how I had connected the dots. "And now you see why this connection is so ironic. The girl that my father fears more than death is the daughter of the wife…of the Dragonborn, who is scheduled to be captured."

Cecilie crossed her arms. "Don't play this mind game with my mother, Fiirnar. You always knew who I was, but…you never turned me in."

"After the kiss we shared, why would I?" He threw back. He glanced back at her, his eyes shining with some sort of passion. His words had never sounded harsh, only analytical. I wondered if he was just following a script to manipulate us, or if he was genuinely meaning everything he said. "But that was a five years ago and yet…you haven't aged…not a single day. You still look like that girl I met on the beach. That summer by the falls."

Cecilie only smiled and walked around. She glanced over at me and wished me to stay silent. If she still wanted to handle this, by all means…this was her fight. Not much of a fight though. "Five years ago. And you still didn't turn me in. Why not?"

"Because, even after what you told me about the future, I couldn't do that to you. To anyone who seeks a better future. And it wouldn't matter now if I told him anyway. He believes that you're dead. He told me that he came to Dawnstar a few months ago and saw a girl that looked just like the one that attacked him 200 years ago. He slit her throat. He thought that he killed her and yet…here you stand. Do you know what would happen if Daddy found out you're still alive?"

"200 years ago?" I asked. _What the hell?_

Fiirnar shrugged and looked over at me. "My father's a vampire. I'm half-vampire. I age half as fast as everyone. And since I'm Altmer, I'll live a couple hundred years easily."

Cecilie sighed as she looked down at Fiirnar. "Fiirnar. Your father would go to the ends of Tamriel to find me. If he knew I was here, he would destroy all of Skyrim just to make sure I'm dead."

"Yes, he would. I could totally believe that he would do something like that." Fiirnar nodded. "Which is why I _can't_ let him know that you're still alive." He looked down at the ground. "The Aldmeri Dominion upholds peace above all. If my deranged father, who oversaw the destruction of the Imperial City, found out that his number one hit is still alive…the entire country of Skyrim would be burnt to the ground…just to sate his anger at a teenage blind girl that whopped his butt during the Aedra Wars. The damage that would follow his conquest to kill you would lead to too much unnecessary death. I can't let anyone do something so vile. Especially if it was only done so that one teenage girl who…captured my heart five years ago during a spring fling would die."

"WHAT?" I screamed to him. "After all this, you're _still_ a good guy? And you flinged with my daughter?" I walked up and slapped him across the face. "WHY CAN'T I JUST HATE YOU?!" I slapped him again. "This is not how tying up an enemy works. You're supposed to resist, fight us, hold desperately onto your beliefs so that we could engage you in an epic conversation to make you change your mind!" I covered my mouth as soon as I finished. Oh no…that's something Asger would say. I knew it! I'm turning into a bard. Damn it!

Fiirnar's eyes rolled around in circles as he lost all sense of balance. When he found his my face, he still smiled like a gentleman. "Have you gotten that out of your system? Or am I looking at another slap?"

"Yes." I said. I slapped him one more time. "There, now I'm done. That was for flinging with my daughter." I shoved a finger to him. "And I hear about any more flinging…you're dead."

He nodded. "She is a minor…while I am not anymore. That would be…ungentlemanly of me."

Cecilie only shook her head in amusement. The ground started shaking. I fell onto my knees, grabbing onto the floor in front of me as I tried to steady myself. Fiirnar cried out as his chair wobbled off its legs. He screamed out in horror as he fell forward. There was a sickening cry and he smashed his nose into the floor. "Ow.."

A large explosion blew a giant hole in the castle. When I looked up at it, I could see a giant pillar of flame plummeting up into the air from the heart of the castle. The aftershock of air was upon us before I could even shield my eyes. It must have been one hell of a spell.

"Holy crap!" I heard M'aiq scream. "Asger, you blew off his leg! Where did you get such a drink?" His voice echoed through the air over to us.

"The drink? Uh…oh yeah. This Bosmer who specializes in pig quality products. He's manufacturing potions and alchemy bombs. This was one of his alchemist fire bombs. Quick, let's finish him before he has a chance to…wow…he auto-regenerates! You see that, half his torso just grew back! Amazing! So…our epic battle…continues!" Asger screamed in return.

Cecilie looked over at me and smiled. "Looks like we're missing the epic boss fight."

I only shrugged. "Eh, I'm used to it. Happens every time there's an awesome fight. Remember the fight Asger and Ruby had against that dragon?"

"The one where Asger almost broke his leg? And Ruby was eaten by a dragon?" She asked.

"Yeah, that one." I replied.

"What about it?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just thought it was pretty funny in retrospect." I replied back.

Fiirnar only chuckled. Even with his face flat against the stonework, blood pouring out of his nose, he was still able to laugh. "I haven't been here that long, and yet somehow…that makes perfect sense." He looked over at me and said, "Can you please help me up?"

I shrugged and started walking towards him. Cecilie spun around, pushing her hand towards me. "Oh no, you don't. I haven't finished talking with Fiirnar yet." She leaned down and pushed down on the seat. It was gentle…sort of. "I'm not convinced that if I let you go that you won't run to Daddy to tell him about seeing me. I know you have father issues…having ten brothers and all. Not to mention you're all named Fiirnar. So, tell me this. What are you going to do now? What are you going to do if I set you free? Knowing what you know now."

Fiirnar started at Cecilie for a second. "You really have to ask? I'm a Thalmor. You're a massive hit for them." He shook his head as best he could. "No, that's not proper." He grunted and struggled. "But…protocol states that I should turn someone in if they're against the Dominion's best interests." He shook his head again. "But she's an old friend. We shared a bed for a week. I can't betray an old friend." He grunted again and his head started shaking violently. "Protocol states that emotional ties will not stop an agent from doing what is right." "What is right is me protecting my old fling."

I looked over at Cecilie. "What's he doing?"

The look on her face told me about just in how much pain she really was in. She hated seeing her old friend like this. "He's fighting his programming. He wants to protect me, but the Thalmor brainwashing…rather...vampiric enthralling is fighting to take over. If I let him go before I can break him of his brainwashing…he'll teleport away and war will fall on Skyrim in two days' time. I have to wait this out until he wins his mental battle."

So, we waited there as Fiirnar continued to blabber to himself. While we waited we continued to watch the fight blossoming from the castle. Every once in a while we'd see a window explode. I'd hear werewolf howls. Ria was having a fun time inside. That much I could tell. Asger was glad to have a 'fellow werewolf' with him. So, that answers that. Yeah, a Companion werewolf.

"Esbern, what are you doing?" I could hear Ria ask.

"Studying this old architecture. I just know that this building won't be here by the end of the battle."

"You don't know that." Ria replied, her voice deep and growly.

Another section of the castle blew up. I felt the tremors all the way through my bones.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this castle won't be here in a few minutes." I could hear Esbern screaming back to Ria.

Fiirnar cried out in a sudden pain. I looked back at him to see him glancing over at me. He tried to smile but I could see that he was still in pain. "Can you _please_ help me off the ground now?"

I nodded and walked up to him. I pulled him off his face and looked over to Cecilie. "Ok, so…what do we do next?"

She crossed her arms and looked down at Fiirnar. "Well, now that he's no longer thrashing and talking to himself, he's either broken his brainwashing or he's given into it. He won't lie, either way. So…we'll find out." She walked up to Fiirnar and crossed her arms. "So, what's your conclusion? What will you do if I set you free?"

Fiirnar paused for a second. "I've concluded that…killing you won't do anything good. While the rules of the Aldmeri Dominion were designed for the continuation for peace of all nations, I have concluded that sharing the fact that you're alive will not lead to any peace. It will lead to destruction. Therefore, in the pursuit of peace, your existence must remain secret. Not to mention, the month we shared together might not have meant a lot to you, but it did for me."

Cecilie only sighed. She looked over at me. "He's broken through his programming." She looked over at him and smiled. "And it did mean a lot to me too, Fiirnar. But that was five years ago."

"For me, it was. For you, it was probably only two months or something." He replied.

What the heck was going on here? Fiirnar was finally broken from his programming and now he and Cecilie were fighting over their previous relationship? Should I not be weirded out right now? Furthermore, Cecilie asked me not to long ago if she could marry an old friend from Clan White-Mane. Did she just go from time to time to date other men? Just what the heck was happening here?

"Come back here and face your death with humility!" A deep gravelly voice called from the hole in the castle.

We all stopped fighting with each other and looked over at the castle…whatever was left of it. The castle was barely standing and I could see people already evacuating from the castle. The bards and bakers were limping away. Some of them were on stretchers. Some of them were being dragged out by their feet. I'm guessing the ones being dragged were dead.

Two airborne vampires flew up from the castle. They were flying as fast as they could away from it. It was Serana and Babette. Babette was hanging back, guarding Serana as she pulled the bow back. I could see that she was aiming it back at the castle. Was she preparing to fire that final shot? I sure hope so.

"Give me the bow!" The creepy voice called. That's when I saw it. It was so fast that it was a blur. It flashed up from the castle, disappearing for a second. It reappeared a second later as it slammed into Babette. Babette screamed out in pain as the blur charged into her.

"Babette!" Serana called.

"Don't worry about me…just blast him!" She called in return. Her voice sounded strained. I couldn't see her very well so I could only guess as to what was happening to her. I could only see her well enough to tell that the giant vampire lord was plunging his hand into her body.

That's when I saw it: a flash of blood. The giant gargoyle-looking vampire lord pulled his hand out of Babette's stomach and tossed her aside. She didn't try to recover. Her wings slacked and her body turned limp. She freefell all the way back down to the castle.

"Father, how dare you!" Serana called.

He glanced up at her. "She had lived a good long life and she didn't want to face the new world. She was weak. I did her a favor."

"Brelyna…do you see the size of that hole in her stomach? Can you heal her before she dies…or un-dies?" Asger cried from inside the castle.

"Yes, I'm on it!" She cried in alarm.

"I'll help." Esbern screamed as well.

I guess Brelyna and Esbern were already tending to Babette's wounds.

"Reinforcements!" M'aiq called. "More vampires coming in. M'aiq will hold them off."

"Ria will join you." I heard Ria yell from inside the castle.

I looked back up at the sky to see Serana wrestling for the possession of the bow with the vampire lord. "Give it up, father. This bow will never belong to you." She yelled from the sky as the two vampire lords fly around, fighting over Auriel's Bow.

"That's where you're wrong. You see…I already have one hand on it. And…your blood is right here." I watched as the vampires continued rolling in mid-air, unsure of which one was which. I'm sure that the bigger of the vampires was the bad guy. They always are. "Also, Serana. You are not longer my daughter. Refer to me as Lord Harkon."

"Never!" She yelled in defiance.

"Then die." He replied simply.

Serana's voice filled the air with an inhuman scream. I could see her limp form as she fell from the sky. The bow was now in Harkon's hands. He smiled as he pulled the bow up at the rising sun. He pulled the string back and I could see the inhuman smile from here. "Goodbye, sun."

Almost instantly, the sun turned red. All the light pretty much shut out. I couldn't see anything but Fiirnar and Cecilie and even their bodies looked muted and unnatural. The air turned cold, my skin started carrying tiny bumps. This didn't feel right. It didn't feel natural. This was unholy magic. No wonder everyone was trying so hard to keep this from happening. It was just…sick.

"This world now belongs to vampires." Harkon called out to the wind. Even in the red sunlight, I could see his wings stretch out menacingly.

"I don't think so!" Asger's voice rang up from the castle.

Cecilie stepped up to the edge of the tower. She smiled that familiar smile that told me that someone was about to do something awesome. "Finally. I've been waiting to hear this one." She looked back at Fiirnar. "You've broken through your mental brainwashing, but…I know you're still trying unconvinced about helping us."

"Helping who?" Fiirnar asked.

"The Dragonborn. Help us and the Blades fight Alduin and the Thalmor." She replied.

He chuckled to himself. "I won't rat you out, Cecilie but…helping the Dragonborn fight my organization is…ridiculous. Tell me one good reason I should help you."

Cecilie smiled. "You want to know why to help us, Fiirnar? Well, listen up. My dad's about to school you."

"You have already lost, mortal. Your sun is gone. Your god…silenced. And _I_ have the bow of infinite possibilities. And your two vampire lords are beaten." Harkon called down to the castle. "What can you possible do? You are just one man."

"You are right about one thing: I am just one man. That's all any of us are. We are just one person. That didn't stop Talos. That did not stop the Champion of Cyrodiil, the Nerevarine, nor anyone else who changed history. Every time our history demanded change or face annihilation…it was one person who stood up and took the attack head-on. It was that one person who weathered the storms, pushed others to fight alongside him. All it takes is one person to stand up when all the chips are down. When times are tough, _one person_ is all it takes to fix history." Asger called from the ground.

"So, you think you can still beat me? You believe that you are this _one person_ who can weather the storm?" Harkon called out. A giant black wave poured from the bow, flying down to the castle. I saw the castle explode into a massive pile of rubble. There wasn't a castle anymore. So…Esbern was right. The castle was gone. I sure hope everyone evacuated from the castle in time.

I marched up to the tower, almost ready to jump off myself. I had to go down there and help in any way I could. Asger could be bleeding, Esbern might be trapped under a pile or rocks. Ruby's bag could be pitched shut. If her bag was destroyed…I don't know if we'd ever get her out of her realm. Or if it would just disappear. It couldn't end like that. I had to go down there and see if I could help.

Cecilie held up her arm to stop me as I took a step toward the stairwell. "Just watch, Mom. It's not over yet."

Harkon started laughing. I looked around to see if I could find him. His dark silhouette still appeared as a black shadow covered by the red blaring sun. "You see, puny mortal. You really didn't stand a chance. You weren't the _one_."

"_Yol…Toor…_"

"What? How can this be?" Harkon called out. Several more flashes of black fire poured from the bow, slamming into the ground with such force that I could feel the tremors from where I was standing. The ground exploded into giant craters. If there was anything inside the castle…it was gone now. No use running down there. If I had left, I would be a smoking crater now.

"You want to know what your flaw is, Harkon?" I could hear M'aiq's voice from further away. It sounded like it was coming from the beach the left of my tower.

Harkon spun around. With lightning fast vampire reaction timing, he started flashing more black streaks of dark-fire over to the beach. I watched as a giant line of black darkness blew up the entire coastline. "Why won't you vermin just die?"

"_SHUL!"_

I could see it. A massive fireball just erupted right above Harkon. Standing above it was Asger. The fireball hit Harkon with such force and surprise that he screamed out as the fireball pushed him all the way to the wreckage that was his castle. I covered my eyes as the blaring light from the fireball lit up the entire island. I could see the various bards, bakers, vampire hunters, and everyone else as they stood by the coastline. Everyone was ok. When the fireball collided with the ground, I could see the bright explosion of light that followed. It was small and contained, but I knew that the vampire inside of it was dead.

"Your flaw was…you did not have friends to help you." M'aiq muttered to himself, just loud enough for me to hear it.

"You…mortals…can't…beat…me." I could still hear Harkon struggling to breathe. Ok, not dead. I'm sick of these people breaking the rules with their supernatural strength and resistance to pain.

"Here comes the punch line, Fiirnar." Cecilie called over to him.

Fiirnar looked unconvinced but smiled. "If you say so, Lilly."

"You thought that just because you could blot out our sun that you would just take over our world? Did you think that it would be so easy? That no one would stand up to throw you down? I don't care if there were thousands of vampire lords as strong as you. I would have kept fighting until you were all defeated. You can't break my spirit, you can't break _our_ spirit. That is your flaw, Harkon. You forgot to consider just who you were challenging. The minute you thought that taking out our sun would make us your prey…you lost." Asger finished.

After that I heard Harkon moaning. "No, don't touch my bow."

"It's not yours; its Auriel's…if I remember correctly." There was a bright flash of light that arched up to the reddened sun. One second later, my eyes were being blinded by the intense light. The sun flashed back in a very bright light. The sun was back! Harkon cried out in pain. His cries slowly died out. I'm guessing Harkon was so weak that the sun finished him off.

Cecilie turned back over to Fiirnar. "You may not realize it, Fiirnar. But the whole blotting out the sun thing kinda represents the Aldmeri Dominion's taking over Tamriel."

"No. You're wrong." He said. "The Aldmeri Dominion only cares about peace. We survived the Oblivion Crisis with little trouble. The other nations needed our guidance to survive the Crisis. We saved the other nations. During the Aedra Wars, we lent our army to fight against the invasion. We saved lives. If it were not for the Dominion, our races would be extinct. We did everything in the name of peace. We only want to continue saving lives. The Dominion is not something to be destroyed, regardless of what you feel about it."

"That's how you and other noble Altmer see it, but the other nations don't. To everyone else, your organization is nothing more than a power-hungry government taking over. Think about the purges in Valenwood, the war to take Cyrodiil. It wasn't a peaceful takeover. It was a bloodbath. A bloodbath that your organization started. Do you really think that for one second that it was done in the name of _peace and prosperity_?" Cecilie bent her knees to see him eye-to-eye. "Think about it. Is that what _you_ would have done?"

Fiirnar glanced at her for a second. "No, it isn't. I never would have pushed into other countries. Only would have tried to send in diplomatic aid. There would be no reason to fight other countries. Doing so only weakens both sides. What good can come of that? A unified hatred of both races for the rest of their existence? Reinvented wars that continuously repeat themselves in a 'I'll get you back' fight?" He shook his head. "No, that is not what I would have wished for." He looked up at her. "And if you start a fight with the Dominion…this is all that will happen."

Cecilie sighed. "I'm from the future, Fiirnar. It happens…without us provoking it. My father being alive is what starts the war. The Dominion will take over Skyrim…in the bloodiest battle ever known. They will not show any mercy. I've lived through it, I've seen it. Now, you can believe what I'm saying it true or not. But…can you live with yourself if it turns out that I'm right? And also, you do know that I have no reason to lie to you?"

Fiirnar glanced down for a second. "I will agree that you would not lie to me for something as trivial as recruiting me for your war effort. And if what you said it true…then I have to help you. So…what happens now?"

She smiled. "Are you staying with us…or going to tell your superiors about what happened here? Because even one report of Auriel's Bow or vampire lords will bring an army of Thalmor to come and 'contain' this situation. Skyrim is becoming too much for them to handle and they see that now. If this comes back to them…we're done."

Fiirnar nodded. "I can actually see the logic in what you say, Lilly." He looked up at me and bowed his head. "Ma'am…um…Mrs. Battle-Born. I would like to request to stay with you as a member of your team…not a Thalmor watching your every move." He bowed to me as deeply as he could in his chair. "I honor-bound myself to your team, unless you tell me to do something that I deem…not in the prospect of peace and prosperity."

I looked at Cecilie. She only nodded and so I shrugged in return. "Only if you bark when I say bark, and sit when I say sit."

He looked offended. "What? I am not a dog!"

Ah…good times.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: I have got to stop watching Fair Tail before writing these chapters. Oh well._


	58. Ch 58: Always from behind, Damn it!

**Cearbhail:**_ I'm back, babies! Finally got some time to sit down and do this. Might not be perfect, but I feel it does what it needs to. Let me know if I'm starting to get the funny back._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I am happy that this is finally over. Harken is nothing more than a giant pile of ash…with wings. I finally got to have a moment with Asger. As soon as I saw him walking out of the destroyed wreckage of the castle, all covered in blood and dust, I decided to not charge and kiss him to death. No, I grabbed him and dragged him to the beach. Then I shoved him into the water and told him to bathe. He looked confused and upset for a second before he glanced down and saw just how disgusting he was._

_Ruby finally came out of her bag, crying her eyes out. Maleek and Pantu followed out of the bag shortly after. Pantu did not look happy with Maleek and was giving him eye-glares so strong that I thought he was going to rip his throat out or something. Maleek could only shrug it off and started pacing around robotically, trying to find a job to keep busy with. I don't know what exactly happened inside that bag, but since Ruby was wearing that blue dress she was preparing to 'propose' to Maleek with…I think I can guess what happened._

_And finally, I'm waiting to hear about Asger's decision to let Fiirnar join the team, and to introduce Ria to Asger. Both conversations should be entertaining to listen to. Fiirnar's an outsider, a Thalmor, and a proper gentleman. I'm expecting either two things to happen. One: Asger will shove a plate of pancakes in his face and tell him to eat them…or two: Hand him a crossbow and say, "Sure, and if you want to kill me later, just wait until I'm asleep. I'm a very heavy sleeper…oh and I'm allergic to mushrooms, if you're planning on poisoning me."_

_(Sigh) We'll see…_

_Lydia…_

_…_

Standing on the sight of a destroyed royal castle is not as pleasing as it sounds. The sights…the smells…oh the smells. There are a lot of smells: rotting flesh from dead vampire snacks, vampire ashes that burnt down with the castle, sulfur, and whatever Asger rolled in. I…I don't even know what it is, but Asger just smells nasty now. Like he rolled in mammoth crap before running into battle. Whatever it is, both Serana and Babette can't get closer than three feet from him. M'aiq and Ruby aren't even bothering to get near him. Maleek doesn't seem to mind it, though.

But even if I'm slowly pacing through the charred remains of vampires, gargoyles, and pretty much anything else that was previously alive, I am still relieved to be done with this storyline. Harkon is dead, Serana is…well, I don't know what she is. Not that she's dead or anything. No, she's just fine. Standing in front of her father's ashes, looking down at him. I thought she was going to break down in tears, but instead she kicked his ashes over and over again. If that wasn't bad enough, once she was finished stomping the ground, she started becoming even more detached to the other people around her. I thought she'd be happy or something close to happy at having the world being saved and not having to become a martyr for her crazy father's dream, but all she does is bitch. Now she's complaining about the sun being out and too bright. You'd think she'd be happy to hear that it wouldn't be blackened out. Oh yeah, Serana is healed from her father's attack. As is Babette. They were both just fine after sucking some blood from our 'willing' donors. And by 'willing' I mean 'unconscious' and 'Dawnguard'. I laughed at the irony.

The entire island was leveled. The huge castled that looked so impressive earlier was now nothing but rubble. There was one place still intact: Serana's mother's laboratory. It was where Serana's mother did some sort of secret necromantic experiments. Serana spent a few hours in that laboratory, looking over her mother's old notes. She thinks she knows how to find her mother. Not sure why that matters, but ok. I guess I'd go after my mother too if she was missing for six centuries. I think by then…eh. By then I guess the whole family novelty would wear off.

"Lydia." The dark serious voice called from behind me. I jumped slightly and spun around. The scary Redguard wearing heavy plated armor stood only inches away from my face. He was the leader of the Dawnguard, the one paranoid person who had the ability to outsource and not only form but fund a giant army of vampire hunters. His giant soulless eyes glared me down as he motionlessly stood inches away from my face. He was so still that I was half certain that he was a statue.

When he didn't say anything else, I kind of nodded. "Yes? Isran?" I gestured for him to continue.

He forced a smile that looked demonic and stuck out his right hand for a handshake. "Thank you for assisting us in eliminating this threat. I heard from Serana that she honestly couldn't have done this without your friends." His eyes narrowed slightly and sighed. "But…I think differently. It took longer than necessary, you lot got distracted too much, and we had cooks and singers on the frontlines fighting magical rocks."

"ISRAN!" I heard Asger scream from somewhere behind me. I spun around to see him sprinting up to us. He was catching up fast. "Come and face me like a man!"

"Crap." Isran said, his face cracking into terror. He nodded to me quickly. "Anyway, thank you, Lydia. We'll chat later. Now…I have to go." Isran turned around and sprinted away from Asger. "Stay away from me!"

Asger smiled as he ran past me. "Hi, Lydia." Then he flew past me, chasing after Isran.

"Asger!" I called. "Get back here! You have to meet someone!"

"After I punch Isran in the face!" He called back, still chasing after Isran. "The bardic gods of ironic comedy demand it!"

I sighed as I looked over at Ria and Fiirnar. They both stood there impatiently, looking over at Asger. Ria shook her head in disbelief. Fiirnar only sighed in defeat.

"That's my brother?" Ria asked in disbelief.

"That's what has us worried?" Fiirnar asked as he shook his head. "Damn, we're stupid."

I looked over at Ria and nodded to her. "Yes, he's your brother. Well…maybe. It's a hell of a coincidence if he isn't." Then I looked over to Fiirnar. "Yes, Fiirnar. Your people are very stupid."

Suddenly, Fiirnar looked very insulted. "What? No…the Thalmor are very intelligent strategic peace creators."

"Sit, Thalmor." I said.

He looked shocked for a second. "Wha-"

"Sit." I replied. "I say bark, you bark. I say sit, you sit. That was the arrangement that we came upon you joining our team. Now…sit."

Ria started to sit herself on the ground like she was a dog. I was about to question why she was doing so until I could see she was panting and sticking her tongue out like a dog. She even had a bushy tail wagging in the dirt. That and she had dog ears. So…she was beginning to transform into a werewolf. "Not you, Ria!" I said to her.

Fiirnar chuckled to himself. "How appropriate. She's a dog. But I…am…not."

"Sit!" I said, smacking his head lightly with the sheath of my katana.

"I.." He started to say but then he started choking on his words. At my strong glare to him, he mumbled to himself as he started pull his coat up enough for him to lower down onto the ground. He sat down into a proper seiza position. He glanced up at me and said, "There, happy?"

I nodded. "Yes, now just wait for Asger to show up. Both of you." I said, looking over to Ria as well.

So, we waited. I watched as Asger chased Isran around the island. Both of them wouldn't stop. Isran was fast for a huge guy. He could even keep pace against Asger, who could Wuld…if he really wanted to.

Cecilie eventually walked up to us and looked down to Ria and Fiirnar. Cecilie smiled and waved to Ria. "Aunt Ria! So nice to see you."

Ria looked confused and looked over to me. "She's my daughter." I said to her.

Ria looked even more confused. "Just how old are you?"

Fiirnar chuckled. "Funny…I know the secret and looking at it from an outside perspective sure is funny."

"Quiet, Thalmor." I said to Fiirnar. I looked back over to Ria. "Ok, so…my daughter is from the future, who came back in the past as a small girl to make sure that I fell in love with her father and got married. Then she left and came back as a teenager and didn't seem very interested in making sure I fell in love with her father, but more concerned with…" Wait…she never expressed why she came back. Come to think of it…she never accomplished her original quest. So was this just her trying to continue it, or was there something more going on? "Why exactly did you come back?" I asked over to Cecilie.

She shrugged. "Bored." She closed her eyes in boredom and smiled.

I nodded and shrugged. "Ok, she was bored." I said, looking back over to Ria. "So…did you get all that?"

Ria's eyes rolled around in circles and she looked like she was going to pass out. "I think…I think my brain just threw up."

Fiirnar chuckled to himself. "Oh this story never gets old."

Cecilie looked over to me and said, "Oh, by the way, did you see Ruby? She's a wreck. I think you should go talk to her."

Yeah, talk to Ruby. That's on my to-do list. So, I have: introduce Asger to his sister, introduce Asger to his new frienemy, talk to Maleek, then go talk to Ruby, then go talk to Pantu while I'm at it, then talk to Zaliika. If I'm going to out of my way to make all these love circles fixed, I might as well get Pantu to understand his feelings for Zaliika while I'm at it. "Yeah, I have a lot to do."

"And Serana and Babette both want to stay with us." Cecilie said to me.

"I should have known that." I replied. And I should have guessed. Babette is an old friend of Cecilie. Very old. And Serana was like Babette's older sister now. And if you put me and Serana in the 'who's the most emotionless' contest, we'd tie for first. So, we're almost inseparable…in a neutral way. She respects me and my casual way of not talking to her, and I respect…hmm…her stoicness? Yes, her stoicness. But not the way she complains all the time. That annoys me. It reminds me of me. And I hate being reminded of me.

"And there is one more thing, Mother." Cecilie said. When I glanced over to her, she was glaring angrily at me. "Yes, I am planning on getting engaged to Vignar Gray-Mane. When I met Fiirnar, I was a year younger than I am now. I was confused about my feelings for Vignar and never thought of him romantically. Fiirnar was my first real…thing. I started understanding my feelings and then when I came home to Vignar, I really began to understand exactly what type of relationship he wanted to have. It was an 'eye'-opener." She smiled at her own pun. She looked over at Fiirnar and said, "Sorry, Fiirnar."

He only shrugged. "Glad to have assisted in teaching the finer art of romance to someone."

I glared back down at Fiirnar. "I'll just keep the irony of this to myself."

"Stop chasing me, you crazy bard!" Isran screamed as he charged past me.

Asger came flying past, holding a lute over his head. "If you just stopped running, we'd be done with this by now!" I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion and partial embarrassment as they ran off again, disappearing behind the tower.

It was at this time that Ruby walked up to me, her backpack slung over her left shoulder. She glanced up at me and said, "Can we go now? There's nothing left here."

I patted her on the head. Poor Ruby. Just got her heart torn out and stomped on by a scaly teenager. "In a minute. I still have to introduce Asger to his sister."

"My sister?" Asger's voice called from behind me.

I jumped/spun around to see Asger holding Isran in a chokehold. He glanced up at me with confused eyes as he quickly brought his fist down onto Isran's head. Then he did it again, and again. All three hits smacked him across the jaw. When he finally finished he let Isran fall to the ground, barely even bruised. Asger brushed his hands off and looked down at him. "See, now we're done. The bardic gods are appeased at my three-fold rule use of punches."

"What did I do to deserve it?" Isran asked, rubbing the left side of his jaw.

"One: I don't argue with bardic gods of awesome comedy and supernatural humor. That was punch one. Punch two: you kidnapped my wife. Punch three: if two punches are committed, one more must complete the circle. Therefore, that last punch was set down by the bards of late. Slap one was for attempting to kill my little vampire friend. Slap two was for making me make a list of reasons for why you had to be punched and slapped. Slap three was because a series of slaps overlapping one must continue until done in a set of three."

"But…you haven't slapped me yet." Isran said back, worry building in his face.

"Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me." Asger said. As soon as he finished, his hands Wulded so fast that I didn't see three separate slaps. Isran's head just snapped left, right, left. When it was finished, Isran was looking off into space, barely standing up. He finally lost his balance and stumbled down to his knees, catching his breath and shaking his head.

"There, now we're done. Be glad I'm not roshamboing you too." I heard Asger say to him.

"What on Nirn is a roshambo?" He asked.

Asger only smiled. "Next time…next time." He finished with a hint of malice behind his words.

Isran only groaned as he stood up and started walking away from us. He turned around and nodded to me. "Thank you for helping us in our time of need, Lydia. Give my…uh…well…tell those vampires I won't kill them on sight as long as they stay away from my eyesight." With that he turned around and whistled into his hand. All the vampire hunters started forming up behind him, marching off to their boat. "We'll be waiting for you lot on the boat." He called over his shoulder.

Asger spun around and glanced down at Ruby. He could see her tear-stricken face and only nodded a welcome. "Well, the guild master of the Bard's College had some impressive things to say about you, Ruby. Glad you're in?"

She only nodded. "Yeah." She started walking away, looking at us. "I'll be on the ship if you need me." Her voice was so dulled out and depressed. Damn it. I was actually going to have to cheer her up. Or…

I could send Babette to cheer her up. No, I can't do that. That vampire is melodramatic and too gothic. She'd only depress Ruby further. Well, Zaliika could be of some help. Being an Argonian, she might have some good tips on winning Maleek over too. Yeah, that's what I'd do. That and send in M'aiq to make her feel uncomfortable and pressured to commit to stereotypical Khajiit behavior.

Asger watched as Ruby slowly walked past us, her tail dragging in the dirt. He looked over to me and said, "Wow…she's different than when I left her." He crossed his arms and looked over to me. "What did you do?"

"What makes you think _I_ did it?" I asked in earnest.

"You're depressing to be around." He responded, a laugh growing in his voice.

I shook my head and pointed over to Maleek. "It wasn't me, it was Maleek. She has a crush on him and she was planning on 'proposing' to him. I can only guess that he turned her down and _that's_ why she's depressed."

"What?" Maleek asked as he walked up. I spun around to see Maleek only a few inches away. Damn this small island! Maleek's jaw had dropped and his eyes were wide in horror. "Ruby _likes_ me?" His deep scratchy voice seemed to squeak out.

My entire body turned into raw nerves and shivers. My stomach turned over. He. Didn't. Know?...

…

Damn it!

"I thought you knew!" I screamed to him. "You were in the bag with her and she came out crying her eyes out, Pantu was angry with you. You were all stoic looking. I thought…I…"

"She fed me her nasty cupcake. I hated the taste. She flipped out because she thought her technique was perfect. Pantu was upset because he actually liked her cupcake and thought I had no taste. Not to mention I wasn't all that nice about my review. Calling it pig urine probably wasn't the best thing to refer it to." He replied. "After I crawled out of the bag I struggled with constipation. It was very painful."

Damn it!

"Don't tell her; whatever you do…don't tell her." I said to him, grabbing him by his shoulders.

Asger started laughing his ass off. He started bending over, unable to catch his breath. "Lydia…you just can't keep secrets at all." When he stood up and glanced over to the Thalmor and Ria, he nodded. "Ok, so which one is my sister?"

Fiirnar looked crushed. "I am not a lady!" He screamed.

"You're not?!" Asger replied in shock/disappointment. He finally glanced at him closely for a few seconds. "But you look so girly."

"That is how we Altmer appear!" Fiirnar mumbled to himself. He glanced up at me and frowned. "Points off, Mrs. Battle-Born. I'm already regretting joining."

Maleek crossed his arms. "And I cannot believe you just told me that Ruby loves me. You do realize that I now have bait to taunt her with until I'm satisfied with torturing her. A little bat of the eyes, grab her shoulder, and say mean things to her in passing. Ooh.." He said. "Now when we continue our war…I'll be unstoppable and easily kick her butt." Maleek said, rubbing his claws together.

I only sighed as I rubbed my temple. Oh great. Poor Ruby. As if she wasn't having a hard enough time with him as it was.

Ria raised her hand. "Well, my name is Ria Tatiana. My mother was Rana Lorain. She was married to Francois Tatiana. He was a well-endowed writer."

Asger nodded. "I knew it. My mother was also Rana Lorain. I remember that she was around until I was five. Then a giant bear attacked our barn and the barn caught on fire. Father pulled me out of the flames and rescued me. He thought mother and my baby half-sister died in the flames. The fire spread really quick and lit the whole area around Anvil up. So we ran as far as we could. By the time we got back to the cottage, there was nothing left. We waited for months, but you never came back. We eventually moved away. Being near Anvil was too painful to him."

"So…why am I your half-sister if we had the same parents?" Ria asked, confused.

"Because my Mother didn't bang the man who saved my life. She was abused by her Nord husband so when she found out she was preggers, she ran away and found the Imperial man who raised me to be a bard/farmer. Therefore, we only share blood by our mother's side."

"So, then. How did you find out about me?" Ria asked.

"I found Mother in Bruma. She was happy to see I was alive. She returned to the house a few days after my father and I moved. Apparently the two of you had some problems with escaping from Thalmor agents. They thought Mother started the fire and held you both for questioning for so long that by the time you could return, we had already left." Asger shrugged. "She told me that you had gone to Skyrim to become a fighter so that you could find a handsome buff soldier type to snuggle up to."

Ria blushed at that. "And instead I found a handsome mage."

He nodded. "Yup. So, I thought I'd check the College of Winterhold and the Companions. Had no idea it would be you when I first met you. I probably should have written down the name Mother had given me. But with all the dragon non-sense I…I had forgotten your name."

"So…" Ria said. "Why were you looking for me?"

He shrugged. "Just to see you. You are my sister after all." Then he looked over to me and nodded. "And now it's more than that. I hear you're eating rainbows and puking them up on everyone. I guess I have to teach you how to swallow the rainbow."

…

Well, that's not an awkward way of saying that. Nope, not at all.

Asger looked over to Fiirnar and said, "Are you sure that you're a guy?"

"YES!" Fiirnar screamed.

"Then there are some Altmer that I should not have made kissy face to at that Thalmor party." Asger replied. "Elenwen is a girl, right?"

"You mean Ambassador Elenwen?" Fiirnar stated, his voice high and close to breaking. "Why? What did you do to that poor woman?"

"Oh…" Asger smiled in relief. "Good, she is a woman then. Kissing her won't seem so offensive now."

"You kissed Ambassador Elenwen?" Fiirnar shrieked out. "A man does not just…kiss the Ambassador."

Asger shrugged. "She didn't fight it. In fact, she kinda enjoyed it. I am a great kisser."

I nodded to Fiirnar. "He is…it's true."

Fiirnar looked shattered. "Oh…Mother…"

Wow…I did not see that coming.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha, Fiirnar just found out that his mother made out with Asger...ah, I'm loving my new Thalmor character._


	59. Ch 59: Host Isle

**Cearbhail:**_ A nice short chapter, but I'm going to have some fun with this adventure. If you think you know Host Isle...you don't know the full story. Mwuhahaha._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, what can I say? Today's been well…I don't want to even start. We loaded up onto the ship. Maleek went right to torturing Ruby. It started right before dinner. All Maleek did was walk in on her while she was bathing. With the screech that followed, you would think that someone had been murdered in front of her. Then at dinner, Maleek purposely mocked her lavender mane, saying it made her look like an Argonian and just how stupid she looked. Blah blah blah. I'm sure you can figure it out. I swear, if he keeps this up, I'll kill him myself. Well, after how many times I've promised to do it, I think I'm actually close to doing it._

_Asger and I had a close encounter. After all, it's been a while so we just had to enjoy the night as best we could. Esbern had to have some sort of Dragonborn meeting, teaching Asger how to give his knowledge to Ria. I guess that's not going so well. Both of them have been coughing up rainbows all day. Of course, Asger complains that it's motion sickness. Ria too. It's a family thing, apparently. They all suffer from motion sickness. And we're on a ship. Joy. If we're attacked by ten dragons, we're all going to be covered in rainbow goo._

_Oh, and there is something else. Our ship. We were on our way to Solitude and this giant fog just came out of nowhere. We closed the sails and just let ourselves drift. We can't see anything and it's been like this all day. Everyone's worried. We don't want to crash after all. There is nothing else to follow._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and looked out to the sea. I couldn't see more than a foot in front of me. Honestly, I don't know why I even bothered looking. Maybe I was just hoping for the mist to dissipate. Just how long were we going to be stuck out here?

The Dawnguards were walking around the deck had their weapons unsheathed. They expected some sort of giant squid with a few thousand tentacles to attack us. Psht, yeah right. I've seen some outlandish things, but…A giant squid with over a hundred tentacles that can sink ships? That will be the day.

Serana stood near the bow of the ship. She was looking forward, barely acknowledging the ten Dawnguard within striking range of her. Babette sat beside her, looking at the Dawnguard like they were toys that she wanted to break. And they looked over at her like they knew that she wanted to break her.

Looking around the deck, I didn't see much of anyone else outside. Because of the mist, everyone wanted to stay under deck.

"Sir, do you see that?" A voice called from the crow's nest. Both Isran and I looked up to see him pointing off to the starboard side of the ship. So, I looked down to see what the crewman might have been seeing. It was faint, but I could see a glowing light in the distance.

Isran noticed it too. "Think it's a lighthouse?"

"Can't be anything else, sir." The crewman screamed from his tower.

Maleek just happened to walk behind me. He was following behind Ruby, who was covering her ears, running away from him. "Leave me alone, Maleek!"

Maleek screamed to her. "Did you ever hear the tale of the haunted Alik'r ship? They say that the haunted ship roams through the mist. Right before she invades your ship to kill everyone, you see a glowing light in the distance."

"That's not true!" Ruby screamed in return, still running away from him.

I could only rub my eyes in frustration. Knowing how our world worked…we were now going to be attacked by a ghost ship.

"We will stand up to our etheric enemies and fight to our last breath!" Asger called from behind me. It was so loud and unexpected that I jumped from surprise.

Behind him the Full Course formed into their battle stances. "By all that is filling and wholesome, the Full Course will battle this evil this…empty calorie."

Ria only rolled her eyes and gestured down to her new scaly armor. It was Asger's idea. They created a new dressy armor that looked completely ridiculous and had flowing capes. They resembled dragons, in a way. "Do I really have to wear this?"

Asger sighed. "Ria…we're Team Dragonborn. The Brother/Sister Team of bardic combat and epic dragon-slaying/werewolf transforming Nords."

Ria sighed. "I'm not a Nord, brother."

"Now you're just splitting hairs." He replied. He looked over to me and said, "Be more like Lydia and just…I don't know…enjoy this moment."

Enjoy this moment? As in…stand here and watch Asger give a bardic speech about fighting ghosts only seconds before a mysterious light was spotted? Yeah, I guess that's what would constitute as enjoying the moment. Especially in Asger's eyes. I must admit, I did miss these moments. It was good to have him back.

And there he was, rushing up to stand in front of everyone. He had that smile that roused everyone's sprits. He was pacing back and forth, his new golden cape flapping behind him. Then he looked back at the growing light and raised his hand in glory. "Everyone! Normally, I would give a big rallying speech but tonight is not that night. For tonight! Ria will take the stage!"

"WHAT?!" Ria screamed from behind me.

Asger chuckled. "Yes, you. Come up here and give an amazing speech. This is your training to become a worthy Dragonborn."

I heard Cecilie chuckle from beside me. Because everyone's been making me jump recently, her presence didn't do much to me. She looked over to me and smiled. "This should be good."

I looked back to Ria to see her tentatively make her way up to Asger. Everyone watched her as she slowly made her way up there. She glanced at everyone with wide fearful eyes. When she finally got to the front of the stage, she took a deep breath and looked over to Asger. "What do I say?"

Asger laughed. "Say? You don't have to say a word. Just…inspire action. Incite feelings of hope. Sing, speak, dance. Something."

Ria's face flushed as she glanced from him over to us. "Uhh…ok." She looked down to the ground and took a deep breath. "Everyone…um…I'm Ria. I'm a Companion. And I can tell you that I have…um…fought dragons, creeps, robbers, mercenaries. I've not only fought them but I've killed them with little trouble. But, ghosts are not robbers, or mercenaries; hell, they're not even draugrs. They don't have a physical form. So, you can't hurt them with force or muscle. Only magic. So…basically we're screwed if they have some sort of magical vessel that can't be touched by magic."

I thought everyone was starting to get railed up when she started talking about fighting dragons. Then she had to lose it by saying that we couldn't fight ghosts. Now everyone just stared at her wide-eyed and crushed.

Ria noticed this and started stammering. "I mean, it's not like we can't just turn around and run away. For all we know this cursed ship has taken us to an ethereal world where we could actually flow off the edge of the world, disappearing into the Void…never to be seen or heard from ever again."

Asger at this time actually pushed Ria away. "Ok, sister. I think they've had enough uplifting speech for one day." Once he shoved her away from everyone, he threw he arm up and screamed, "OK, men! Who's ready to fight some ethereal invincible baddies?!"

No one responded. Ruby was still busy running away from Maleek, telling him to stop scaring her. So, I actually threw my arm up and said, "I am your shield…my Thane. I will follow to Oblivion if I have to."

I guess I inspired some people to action. "We can't let our Dragonborn go out without a good fight." Isran screamed to his crew. "He helped us cleanse Skyrim of vampires. Let's cleanse _this_ darkness now. That way, we can go home."

Darius walked in front of everyone. He bowed before Asger and said, "Dragonborn. The Full Course it as your disposal. Just don't dispose us like common burnt toast."

Asger chuckled. "As long as you don't serve me waffles, you have nothing to fear." He raised his hand in triumph. "Pancakes for everyone if we make it through this!" He screamed to everyone. This time there was a massive response of yays. I guess Asger really did know what it took to rally a crowd. He pointed towards the light and screamed, "Full speed ahead towards the light. Draw your swords and prepare for war!"

…

A few minutes later, we were all shocked. It was just a lighthouse. A lighthouse that existed on a small island about as big as Harkon's. And since we were so gung-ho about ramming a ghost ship, we couldn't stop our ship in time. We crashed onto the shore…well, not so much the shore as much as hitting the giant spearing rocks growing out of the water that surrounded the island.

When we impaled out ship on the giant rocks, we tore right through it and landed on the soft beautiful grass. Our ship is toast. And now we're stranded on the island. Which isn't so bad. Only one reason why. When we dropped the anchor (like we needed to), three tropically dressed women rushed out with bulky handsome men that walked around shirtless. They bowed to us and welcomed us to "Host Isle."

Fiirnar smiled and clapped his hands immediately. "Ah, yes. I should have recognized the Thalmor retreat the second we crashed into the sea barrier." He turned to us and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen. I welcome you to the greatest vacation of our lives. The Thalmor retreat: Host Isle."

So…we're on vacation. Sweet.

...

A well-dressed Bosmer came out to welcome us. "Welcome to Host Isle: a little piece of paradise hidden away in the mists of not-finding-us."

Isran nodded as he walked up. "Good morning. I'm Isran, the captain of the ship that just crashed on your giant pillars of rocks."

The Bosmer nodded and looked past him, scanning the ship. "Yes, I can see that. That's a big hole you have there. I'm guessing that it will take a few weeks to patch that up. Well…for my crew of builders, it could take a few days if we rushed." He shrugged and said, "Until then, I welcome you to enjoy the island as your personal home." He looked around to us all and said, "You lot look like you could use some relaxation."

Fiirnar stepped forward and said, "Thank you for the hospitality. My name is Fiirnar, son of Councilor Fiirnar. I presume that my entourage will receive the greatest of care during their stay here?"

The Bosmer bowed deeply. "Oh, but of course, Great Fiirnar. Luxury is but one of our vast middle names." He stepped back and waved us to follow him. "Now, come and follow. I shall give you the full tour."

So, we followed behind him and he started giving us the scenic tour. Giant bamboo shoots grew out of the ground, small crystal clear streams of water flowing quietly all around us. The grass was bright green, the temperature was weirdly not cold. I was sweating. SWEATING. What the hell was that? I didn't understand the feeling for a second. I couldn't figure out why I was getting wet. Just…weird. And this is normal for people? I feel sorry for them.

As we approached the tower, our guide stopped us for a second. "Oh, by the way, my name is Red Rum. It's a pet name that I've seemed to adopt here for drinking red rum all the time."

Fiirnar only glanced away. "Sounds like an interesting name."

"Well, my birth name was Johnny. I just grew to my nickname." Red Rum said back to Fiirnar. "Now, please step back. My red rum fountain has erupted and every time I open this elevator there is just this massive wave of red rum that just…flows into the lobby."

"A massive wave of red rum?" Babette asked.

"What's an elevator?" Serana asked in return.

Red Rum silenced them both. He walked inside the lobby to his magnificent building and pushed some little button that squeaked with a humming sound. Seconds later the doors started sliding open and this giant massive wave of what appeared to be blood just…gushed out, covering the whole floor.

It was instantaneous. Babette and Serana lost their cool. They transformed into their Lord forms and just took off to the giant pool of red rum. They started licking the floor, sucking in the alcoholic drink like it was blood or something.

Red Rum looked over to us with slight worry. "Wow, they must be heavy drinkers." He glanced down at them and then back to us. There was something wrong with this but for the life of me…I just couldn't put my thumb on it. It felt like…we weren't safe here. But…no…that can't be right. This was peaceful place ran by the Thalmor…it couldn't be that bad….could it?

Red Rum clapped his hands. "Ok, so who wants to see the labyrinth garden?"

Ooh, that sounds fun.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ah Host Isle...say it fast enough and you'll see where this is going._


	60. Ch 60: The first one drops

**Cearbhail:**_ New Chapter. Ok, Ok. I know some people are going to be very unhappy. I only ask that you accept it for what it is and then...remember the type of person I am. Nothing is ever what it seems in this book. Just a thought...remember the Thieves Guild. That turned out ok. So will this._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Today was very relaxing. The lovely tour we had of the island was very relaxing. We spent a whole day just walking around the entire island to all the various ways that we could do to relax while we wait for our ship to be repaired. There was a massive hot spring that was warmed by this huge overlooking inactive volcano that looked beautiful. Then there was a mud spring to the left of it, right next to the so-called bottomless pit of sand. You don't even have to lie down to relax there. Just step in and relax and the sand slowly pulls you down. I didn't get to try it out, but I might tomorrow._

_The lovely woods filled with unicorns and friendly looking bunny rabbits with glowing red eyes looked very welcoming. And the labyrinth garden was the most amazing part of the whole island. It lies right in the middle of it all, just a giant system of bushes built into massive 20 tall walls of green. Completely impervious to swords or magic. You could get lost back there for hours if you weren't careful. Ruby has already told me that she's adding some of this island to her own world. Yeah, I can see her crafting her own paradise now that she sees what they are like. Well, time for dinner._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"Ladies and Gentlemen…" The head chef announced as he walked into the giant dining room filled with hundreds of tables and chairs. He bowed to us as several servants dressed in black suits with white shirts started walking towards us with giant bowls of metal. "Dinner is served."

Red Rum walked up to my table, bowing to us as he did in his usual graceful way. Fiirnar gave him a respectful nod of the head and motioned him to join us. I suddenly felt like I was supposed to be wearing a very elegant dress with a hundred types of forks and napkins set up on the table. I locked up as I started thinking that this was a very formal environment. The bards that were supplying our background music were not the loud dramatic ones that I keep running into. There was an entire row of them, dressed in black suits with white fancy shirts underneath with some sort of sleek black rope hanging from their necklines. I think it was called a 'tie'. Seemed unnecessary to me.

The giant line of bards playing slow lovely tunes was not the worst of it. The chair that I was sitting in was very cushy and extravagant. Not to mention made up from pure silver…I think. The table was almost a form of clear glass but very hard and shiny. The room was huge with giant crystal chandeliers hanging twenty feet above us. The entire room was very elegant and clean. I was afraid that if I did a single thing that I'd ruin the whole room. The people who served this room looked just as clean and elegant. If this was what it was like to be royalty, I'd rather go back to my farm any day.

So, Red Rum joined us at our table. Sitting beside me were Ruby, Fiirnar, Esbern, Ria, and Asger. It felt nice to just be away from all the other crazy members of our massive group. The bards, bakers, and vampire hunters…not to mention the vampires. It was good be just…us. The rest of our big family was spread out among the other people. Pantu was eating with Maleek and Zaliika. The other Blades were eating by themselves, Cecilie was with them. Everyone else that escaped my attention for the minute was spread out as well. I noticed some of the dawnguard males were not turning down lap dances from the Bosmer female dancers. Huh…well, I guess they are here to relax.

Fiirnar brought my attention back to our table as he asked, "So, Red Rum. What are we having for dinner?"

Red Rum smiled. "One of our most…delectable dishes: Steak and liver." He gestured down to the giant plate that was now being placed in front of him by one of the servants. Several other servants started dropping more plates in front of the rest of us. I looked down at my bloody steak. Normally, I try to not eat something bloody and raw. But for some reason, I just believed that this time it would be healthy and normal. So, I started cutting it with my fork, dark red blood spilling out. It looked…different.

"Just where is this cut from anyway?" I asked.

"Hmm?" Red Rum asked. "Well, these cuts are from the lower back. Soft, tender, juicy…bloody."

Fiirnar chuckled. "Yes, my father loves these steaks."

"Isn't your father a vampire?" I asked.

Esbern choked on his steak, leaning forward. He spat up the bloody meat onto his plate and gave me an evil look. "By the gods, woman. Don't do that to me. I might choke to death."

Red Rum chuckled lightly. He smiled at Esbern and cooed, "Well…we wouldn't want that to happen…now would we?"

Fiirnar nodded as he bit into his steak. He started moaning like he was having an orgasm as he leaned forward. "Oh my…this steak is very good. This is…the best steak I've ever eaten in my life."

It was a welcome distraction. From how Esbern and Red Rum were exchanging death glares, I could swear that something was about to happen between the two. With Esbern being a Blade and Red Rum being a Thalmor…yeah, something was very bound to happen.

"Blasphemy!" Glass Chef Stros screamed as he stood up. "This is not the best steak you've ever had. I can prepare a cut that will put this entire island to shame! I am the best griller in the world!" He covered his eyes and ran off, crying like a little girl. "I'll show you!" We watched him until he disappeared through the entrance into the kitchen. Wow…that's different. I never thought he'd have a girly exit.

So, we waited as Stros started up a massive commotion inside the kitchen. "I'm here to take over the cooking orders."

There were loud crashes inside the kitchen and people started screaming, "What are you doing in here?" "Get away from that." "Hey…that's ours!"

"Not anymore it's not. This kitchen is within violation of the cooking accordance. You don't have a balanced meal. You don't have…" Just like that I saw the other Glass Chefs stand up and rush to the entrance. They all burst through at the same time, taking up some pose that I could barely see from my seat. "A Full Course!"

"Chefs…Represent!" Darius screamed from inside the kitchen.

Ruby pushed her plate aside and I saw her smile for once. "I'm needed in the kitchen." She took off as fast as she could and disappeared into the kitchen with everyone else.

Fiirnar started looking towards the kitchen with growing unease. He finally stood up and said, "Ok…I can't stand this anymore." He stood up and ripped the napkin tucked into his large overcoat and tossed it onto the table, perfectly folded. "There is a lovely Altmer in that kitchen and she needs my loving support." He strode away quickly. Great…he was becoming dramatic now too. Why?

"You're just making an excuse!" I called after him.

He spun on his heel and bowed to me. "An excuse? Maybe. An opportunity…absolutely." Just like that he entered the kitchen. After a second I heard, "Why, hello Miss…Beatrice? May I be of some assistance?"

Then…the whole kitchen become a whole new level of silence. "What are they doing?" "Sir…ma'am. You can't do that in here. We have private quarters if you wish to utilize them."

Then more silence as Stros started barking orders. "Where is this meat from? This isn't cow…or goat. I've never seen cuts like these except from trolls and ogres. Where do you store your meat?"

"In the freezer sir." I heard the door opening up and there were more slamming pots and pans.

"What the heck…what are they doing in here?" "Hey…get away from that meat! That's our meat!" "What are they doing to it?"

"Dammit, not you two again!" Stros screamed. "Get out of here." I heard more pots and pans smacking into stuff. I heard hissing from inside the kitchen and then a giant crash of dishes. Then it grew quiet for a second before Serana and Babette came flying out of the kitchen, both of their fangs stuck on a raw steak. Stros came charging after them, a giant skillet raised above his head. "You better run! You just ruined two perfectly good cuts of meat!"

Babette smiled as she rushed over to my table, taking Ruby's empty chair. She laughed uncontrollably as she pulled the steak from her fangs and slapped it down on top of Ruby's discarded steak. "I never get old of messing with him." She laughed as she started sinking her teeth into the steaks. "Every time I get a chance, I let him catch me sucking on his steaks. It's always a good laugh for me."

I sat there waiting for her to finish her snack before I looked over to Red Rum. There was something that I still didn't know and I wanted to know now. So…Babette. Was that rum on the floor? You know the floor you adamantly threw yourself onto just to lick."

She paused for a second before glancing up at Red Rum. She pulled her fangs out of the steak and glanced up at me. "Lydia…there are things you should know…and things you should know not to ask. Being what I am…you know what would set me off. So, for me to sprout wings and go licky-licky on a floor, it can't be rum. And being what I'm trained to be, you know I know what to look for in an assassination camp. So…why would you openly ask me anything…when their ring leader is sitting right in front of us…especially when we can't escape?"

We sat there for a long few seconds, Babette glancing at me, over to Red Rum, and back to me. Red Rum's eyes narrowed, glaring at me, over to her, then over to Esbern. Esbern glanced from me, over to Red Rum, over to Babette, and then down to his cup. Then Esbern's face twitched and he clutched up at his throat. Foam started pouring out of his mouth, red and foamy. He stood up and fell to the floor, the red foam leaking out.

Babette looked down at Esbern and then looked up at me. "Oh well…guess the cat's out of the bag." She rose up on the table and rushed up to my throat. Her tiny hand clamped up on my throat and my larynx was already being crushed in her little palm. My body was frozen stiff and I couldn't move. She squeezed my throat harder and said, "And imagine…I went through so much effort to get the Dragonborn isolated so that I could kill him…and his sister." She smiled even wickeder and said, "And once all the Blades, bards, and bakers are eliminated, the Thalmor are going to pay me very well. The Dark Brotherhood will be set up for life…"

I paused for a second before saying, "So…you were evil the whole time. You vicious little…bitch." And then I looked over to Red Rum. "And they're all in on it?"

Babette paused for a second before cracking a smile. Red Rum started smiling as well and then they both busted up laughing. Babette released my throat and looked down to Esbern. "Hey…old man. You can get up now. I think she's suffered enough."

I looked down at Esbern to see that he was not moving. Babette looked down at him again. This time she looked more concerned. "Hey…baby butt. Get up. Joke's over."

Esbern was still not moving.

So, Babette shrugged and looked over to me. "Don't move yet. You still have to feel embarrassed and laugh at my joke."

Right…joke. Only Babette would set up a joke this sick.

Babette jumped off the table, landing next to Esbern. She bent down and started pushing on his shoulder. "Hey, garlic breath. Wake up." He still wasn't moving. So, Babette stood up and turned to face Red Rum. "Did you really think that you could get away…"

"BAH!" Esbern screamed as loud as he could as he silently rose behind Babette.

Babette jumped so high that he literally was up on the ceiling tiles, her wings out and her long nails plunged into the tiles. She was panting hard and her eyes wide in horror. She glanced down at Esbern and said, "Don't scare me like that! I could have killed you!"

Esbern smiled and wiped the red foam off his lips. "Little girl. I'm days away from dying anyway. If I get taken out by a practical joke…I'm doing well."

Babette chuckled nervously as she looked over to me. She released her claws and gently sailed back to the ground. When she landed, she bowed respectfully to me and said, "Sorry, but I _really_ wanted to play a prank for once. And you're already my favorite toy to play with."

Great…just what I need.

…

So, after dinner was done, I rushed to my new room for my first night of relaxation. The supper that followed our initial supper was even more dramatic than I'm used to. The Full Course burst through the doors, presenting their dishes like it was the only salvation we were going to ever get. So, we were obligated to eat everything presented to us. Ruby made a grand gesture of showing some of her cupcakes down Maleek's throat, screaming, "Eat it, you bastard." It was very sweet to see them getting along so well.

Zaliika and Pantu retired early and I hadn't seen them since dinner. Esbern was somewhere else as well. To be honest, I forced Ruby, Zaliika, Pantu, and Maleek to share a room. I figured they all needed time to be with other kids their own age instead of hanging around us adults all the time. Cecilie was sleeping with Brelyna. Esbern with Delphine. I was sleeping with Asger and Ria. Fiirnar, it seems, has taken to a room with Beatrice. Yeah, no mistake in what's going on in there.

So, here I was. It was in the middle of the night before everything changed. I was sleeping and then I heard a scream. It sounded like Brelyna. So, as fast as I could, I ripped off my sheets and rushed as fast as I could to the door. Asger and Ria were just starting to wake up.

Ria rubbed her eyes and said, "What's going on?"

Asger yawned. "Sounds like Esbern just snuck into Brelyna's bed again."

I looked back to him. "Nah, he's practically married to Delphine. Now, I can see him walking into her shower."

Ria just looked at the two of us before shaking her head. "I'm too tired to listen to this. I'll see you two in the morning." She pulled her bed sheets over her head and fell back to sleep. Well, I think she did at least.

So, I rushed out of the room with Asger behind me. We ran through the halls until we could see a massive group of people standing outside Esbern's room. I started pushing my way through the waves of servants and dawnguards to see Esbern sprawled out on the floor. Brelyna was holding onto his hand, trying to feed Restoration magic into him. Fiirnar was leaning down, checking for a pulse.

"It's no good. He's expired." Fiirnar replied.

What? Esbern's dead?

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Oh no! Esbern's dead? Like...for reals? Oh no! How could I do such a thing? Oh no! How could I? An extremely old man with high blood pressure collapsing on the floor while trying to take a peek at Brelyna. and worst off...it might not even be murder!_


	61. Ch 61: Bloodstain

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok. I should have explained this to begin with. This is a halloween story arc. Hah..get the timing of it now? And don't worry. As one of my reviewers has openly stated about the type of person I am...yeah..he or she is right. Just enjoy the story arc and then this whole Host Isle will be a welcome edition to the whole story. Oh and... Happy Halloween. And for others like myself, Happy Samhain._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, I never got back to sleep. No one did. Last night was a busy night. Esbern died. And there were a lot of crying people. Now, we wanted to get to burying Esbern right away, but… it wasn't just Esbern that died. Three dawnguards were found in a similar state, as was Darius. The three dead dawnguards were all in the same place with massive lacerations that covered their whole body. Darius was found dead with a giant tube going down his mouth. Ironically enough, it was the pig urine milk that he drowned on. I knew it was not good._

_So, we've come to the conclusion that Esbern did not just keel over from seeing Brelyna naked. No, he was killed. By a murderer. By…someone on this island. An island that is small enough to keep us all within killing reach, but big enough to hide the murderer's hands. And island… With no escape. Or…way off. No…we're trapped. That means only one thing: dramatic tension. I will do my part to add as much as possible._

_Dammit, Asger. I leave for one second and he writes that. Yes, it's true. There is someone on this island going around killing people. We're going to find out who and then we're going to settle this the old way…eye for an eye. I would say it's Red Rum, but he has an alibi. He was spending the evening with Fiirnar and Cecilie. That's good enough for me. So…it has to be one of the many servants. Oh well, the best way to draw out the killer is to go about our vacation and see who tries to kill us next. It's the only way. So…in light of all that…I'm going to get a massage._

_Lydia…_

_…_

My day was amazing. Everyone stayed away from me. I presented myself as the perfect target. I carried no armor, no weapon. I was as vulnerable as I could be. I spent a lovely mid-morning stroll through the rising mists as I traversed the labyrinth garden wearing a loose flowing white gown. I sang to birds to attack psychopaths. Yes, I was purposely walking around before sunrise in the labyrinth garden, wearing a dress, singing to birds, while it was foggy. I was trying to bring out one of the classic horror stories: the headless horseman. I figured that if someone was going around killing others, I could at least get some sort of response. I didn't have to worry: Ria was watching my back. Everyone is trying something to bring the killer out.

I heard Serana was going for the whole…bathing beauty to entice a stalker to come in with her. She spent her whole day in the shower, soaking her pale body while singing. I couldn't have pulled it off. My skin would have fallen off after the first hour. I hardly bathe.

Cecilie was…well…playing detective. She was already dressed in a tan overcoat puffing on some sort of bubble pipe. She was wandering around the entire island examining the bodies and coming up with conclusions as to why they died. For Esbern, she actually accused Delphine of killing him.

"It's simple, my dear Daddy. Delphine has always loved Esbern, and Esbern has always loved…spellcrafters and elves. So, when Delphine couldn't handle him stalking off to spy upon the bathing beauty that is Brelyna.."

Brelyna blushed in her usual shy way and hid her face. "I'm not cute enough to kill for."

Delphine actually scowled at that. "Yeah…sure you aren't." Then she drew a dagger and shoved it toward my throat. "Very clever, little seer. You knew that I loved Esbern with all my heart and seeing him look upon Brelyna every day was like getting my heart torn out and stomp upon. But…you forgot one thing."

Cecilie smiled. "And what was that, Delphine?"

"How did Esbern die?" She asked.

Cecilie looked down at Esbern's fresh corpse. "Heart attack."

"I'm not a spell-caster. I'm a sword slasher. I can't create heart-attacks." Delphine answered, keeping her dagger level with my throat.

"Why are you aiming at me?" I asked.

She looked back at me and shrugged. "Just…playing my part. Isn't this all a game?"

Cecilie shook her head. "No…this is very real. And you're right. You couldn't have done it."

…

That was last night. Now, Cecilie was going around trying to find any clues as to what linked all the victims together. That's what she did all day. That and she asked everyone questions: proving alibis and stuff. Right now, the only ones with questionable alibis were well…no one. We all retired to bed and we all had someone in our rooms with us while we were there. Well, except Esbern, Delphine, and the dead dawnguards. Delphine was the only one without the alibi but that didn't matter because she was as she said, a non-spell-crafter. So that left no one. There had to be someone else on this island that we had not accounted for. Someone that waited in the woods, waiting for their chance to get us. We were trying to let that happen.

So, because of all this logic, I've allowed myself to sit at the beach as the sun set. It was warm, nice. It was enjoyable. I even went swimming for a while. It was half what I wanted, though. Asger and I had always planned on going swimming as a family; with Ruby and Cecilie. But since we were all trying to stay as separated as possible to draw out the killer…here I was alone. Just me.

"Hey Lydia."

I nearly jumped out of my skirt as I heard Ria call me from behind. When I spun around to face her, I wasn't welcomed with an attack, so I was very happy. But since she was here, there was no chance that someone was going to kill me tonight.

"Hey, Ria." I called back. "What do you want?"

She shrugged. "I smelled a scent that did not belong to you. I wanted to follow it. It led me here. Question is…why was it here and why didn't I find it?"

I shrugged again in reply. Ria was tracking a scent? And it sent her here?

Just by having Ria here, talking to me about someone that did not belong, it made me evaluate what I did know about the killings. It wasn't magic, wasn't violence. It was like all the victims were poisoned. Maybe it was the food last night. Something that only they had eaten, or drank. I must admit, it was pretty convincing: her argument. She was convinced that maybe one of the bakers had killed Esbern and a few other people. But why Darius? He didn't die of unknown conditions like everyone else. He died of alcohol poisoning. Who on Nirn in the Bakers Guild would want Darius dead? It destroyed the Full Course.

So, if it hadn't been anyone that we could track by scent or by alibis, it had to be someone that truly didn't fully exist. Was it a ghost? That's what made me think of the headless horseman. Someone that killed by omens and curses. But the victims ended up beheaded as well. Usually, it was the way they died…by losing their head. Everything dies when it loses its head, expect hydras and headless zombies. No one can kill a headless zombie. But…headless zombies also can't turn someone else either. Useful fact: they make good carriage pullers and goat herders.

I looked back at Ria and smiled. "You tracked a scent that did not belong. That means…the killer was after me before you came here and scared whoever it was off. I'm on the right path. Coming out alone…presenting my back to the island while glancing out at the setting sun. Only a fully sane person who's going around killing people would not be tempted to come after me. And that's only because he's still sane."

Ria nodded unbelievingly. "Uh-huh. So…you spent all day outside just so that you could be killed?"

I found a chuckle escape me before I understood why it made me laugh. "Ria…if something could kill me…when I'm obviously the main character…I'd be surprised."

Ria smiled oddly and tilted her head to the side. "You…the main character? You're bland, observant, boring, emotionless, and a servant."

"Thanks. It's good to hear you think so highly of me.." I responded dead-panned. Well, even though she's known me for only a few weeks, she already had such a great grasp about my so-called personality.

Ria chuckled a little before continuing. "And Asger is the Dragonborn, funny, charming, a bard…a Companion…the Arch-Mage, completely random, fixated on pancakes, and the center-point for all sorts of crazy adventures…. I think he's the main character of this story, Lydia."

I shrugged. Yeah, she was probably right. I wasn't exactly the most convincing main character around. But I was observant. That was probably my only good point. That and I was sarcastic, but not as much as Serana. In fact, Serana was pretty much me in a mammoth tusk but only so much more exaggerated. At least I smiled.

Ria crossed her arms and said, "I'm glad we can joke like this, but…it's dinner time. Come, we have a special funeral feast in honor of Darius and Esbern."

I nodded. Oh yeah, I forgot that we were going to honor Darius and Esbern's passing. Oh, and the three nameless guards that just happened to join the vampire fighting career. Yeah, the feast had something to do with them as well. All three bodies were in open caskets, where we could see them as we ate. Because nothing says 'enjoy this feast' than looking at dead bodies look at you.

That was the one detail I've forgotten to explain yet. The bodies…all confessed deceased by Fiirnar. He's a medical examiner being a Thalmor and all that. Apparently the Thalmor are trained to examine dead bodies. Funny how that fits into their daily job description. So, Fiirnar has been collecting the dead bodies and keeping them in a room while he examined their time of death, reason for death, and all the other disgusting stuff. He refuses to mess with the bodies, though. He still thinks that he can bring them to life. Cecilie has some sort of 'revelation' after dinner. Something involving someone from the past. Huh…we'll see.

I nodded to Ria and said, "Alright, let's go to dinner then. I'm sure if the killer is interest in killing us he'll do it before we join up with everyone."

Ria laughed back, her fangs starting to form. Her eyes slit enough that she was beginning to transform. When she caught that she was changing, she forced a cough and her face started going back to normal. She smiled at me and said, "Yeah, I'm sure if someone tries to kill us we can handle them."

That was when we heard a loud breathtaking scream. It was so loud that the world spun around us. We looked up to the sky to see a giant flock of crows flying away from the enchanted woods. I looked over to Ria and said, "Did you hear that?"

Ria nodded. "Yeah, it sounded like Zaliika and Babette. What were they doing in the woods?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, but we should go find them. They might be in trouble."

So the two of us took off into a sprint to the boundary of the woods. Cute little bunnies with red glowing eyes hissed at us as we sprinted past them and unicorns tried to impale us. It was so sudden that we stopped our advance into the woods. We were still at the boundary, looking at several unicorns with sharp pointy horns, and white rabbits with razor-sharp teeth. What the hell was going on here?

Ria looked back at me, her face contorted in a vicious snarl. "Lydia!" She growled at me.

I started to reach for my blade, but soon remembered that I didn't have one anymore. Damn…I left it at home. And now I had a werewolf preparing to tear our my throat.

"You continue on…I'll hold off these unicorns." She said and threw herself forward at the massive horde of cute fuzzy animals. I watched as Ria ripped through them like they were paper.

I didn't wait. I just charged past her and charged into the woods. _Goodbye, Ria. Your memory will always be remembered. _I thought to myself as I continued into the woods. Zaliika's voice came from just up here.

"Ria, I came just as fast as I could." I heard Brelyna say.

"Brel. Good. Quick, this bunny just won't die." Ria said.

"Ok then. I'll just cast holy fireball at it." She said. That's when I heard and say a massive explosion of fire. It reached over the tree-line and I could feel the heat and blood from as far away as I was.

"That was a bit much…but ok." Ria growled out in humor.

I sighed, knowing that my new sister-in-law was safe now. As long as Brelyna was beside her, there was no chance of her dying. Unless…Brelyna was the killer. Dammit…it's always the silent ones.

I stopped and turned around. I was preparing to charge back but then I stopped. Brelyna was just as fast as I was, probably. So, if I tried to fight her, I'd just end up dead because she was one hell of a spell-caster. So, I spun around again and continued to sprint over to where Zaliika might have been.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Both Babette and Zaliika were sprawled out against a tree. Both of them had lifeless eyes. Dammit, someone killed them both. Whoever this was…they were just toying with us now. Babette was an assassin. No one should have been able to kill her. Zaliika was a sweet innocent girl. Why?

I heard laughter above me. I looked straight up and saw a tall figure dressed in a black overcoat. He had it buttoned all the way up. When I looked for his face, all I saw was a bloodstained mask with a normal looking hat on top of his head.

I brought my fists up into a defensive stance. "Who are you? Did you do this?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Do what?"

"Kill these kids. Did you?" I screamed.

He shrugged. "I might have, I might not have." He dropped from the branch and landed gently onto the ground. He looked up at me and said, "My name is Bloodstain. I'm a detective…"

He never got another word in. I smashed him in the face so hard that he flew off his feet and into a tree. He groaned out in a complaint and said, "So…that's what it feels like." He stood up and bowed to me. "I'm here investigating the murders. Cecilie wants me to find out who's doing this."

"You're her surprise?" I asked.

He shook his head. "That surprise? No, that surprise is scheduled to arrive tonight at dinner. I've been here since morning." He shrugged. "She can't just summon us willy-nilly. It takes a lot of energy to 'summon' us like this." He paused by the bodies of Zaliika and Babette. He paused to look down at them. "This is a vampire. She has no signs of struggle, no signs of magical damage. It's like she just…dropped dead." He looked over at Zaliika. "Same diagnosis. All of them died of the same condition. This is beyond anything I've ever seen."

He rubbed his masked eyes in frustration before sighing. "Well, that's not quite true. I have seen this before. The Thalmor virus. It kills everyone on impact." He turned to face me. "This might be a testing site and the Thalmor might be using you as test subjects for their poison. Beware." He said.

"So, what are we going to do then?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I will look for evidence. Someone is still going out of their way to do this. Everyone here has an alibi so…no one here is the killer. Even the Thalmor here might be innocent. And we don't kill innocents. So, for now…just be patient." He made a hand-sign that came up to his mouth and whispered, "_Vonus, filok, vokun_." Just like that his body disappeared into a shadow. Then he was gone.

That left me standing there. Bloodstain? What type of name was that? But at least he knew what was going on here. Well, maybe. The cause of death is something he's dealt with before. And if I know my daughter, she probably courted him in the future.

I groaned as I face-palmed. I was already accusing my daughter of sleeping around with every man in history. I had to stop coming to that conclusion just because Fiirnar slept with her.

I walked up to the two dead friends of mine. I kneeled down and closed their eyes. I had to do something. I might as well wait here for Fiirnar so he can collect them. I'm sure Brelyna was already on her way to get him.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Bloodstain? A cameo? Wow...who will come next in this special?_


	62. Ch 62: Blue Rose Lord

**Cearbhail:**_ New chapter already. Yeah, I just felt like doing this. Getting good now. This won't be a long story arc but it hasn't come to an end yet. Maybe in a few chapters. Well, anyway. I hope you guys continue enjoying it. Time for a small break from all the killing. Or...is it?_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Today's been a long day. What started out as my outdoor adventure to get stabbed turned into a social visit from my new sister-in-law, Ria. We chatted for a bit, and Babette and Zaliika died. Yeah, they're dead. I feel bad about Zaliika. She was sweet, had a crush on Pantu, didn't cause any trouble. Babette…I'm kind of glad she's not here harassing me, or crushing my windpipe. Fiirnar has moved the bodies from all the victims down to his morgue, where he awaits Cecilie's gift. Speaking of which, Cecilie is going through this great presentation to present her surprise. She's got this stage all set up with a giant torch hanging over the spot. It must be something worth gathering us all up into a tight space for._

_Bloodstain has combed the island a hundred times over and found a lot of stuff, but no poisonous gases. Oh yeah…Bloodstain is some sort of detective from the future. Weird. Does everyone wear masks in the future? Gods…I sure hope not. I swear if someone starts running around in a mask with a cape, I'll lose it. But, either way, this guy is good at finding things. He found Red Rum's dirty magazines, Asger's missing sock, and my feminine hygiene supplies. He was slapped for the last one. M'aiq, the very Khajiit that I forgot even existed until tonight, was jumping up and down at finding Asger's sock because he wanted something to play with. Not sure what to make of that._

_Everyone else just can't wait for this surprise, whatever it is. I'm still sitting down, looking at her now…waiting for her to reveal whatever it is to happen._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and flipped my hair away from my neck as I looked up at my daughter. She stood there in her relaxed 'I'm not bothered by anything' stance and looked blankly at the crowd. It's not like she can focus her eyes or anything. She is blind. That must really get on her nerves some days. I don't think I could stand it, myself.

"Ladies and Gentlemen." Cecilie started. She waved her hand to the empty stand and began pulling on her sleeves. "Nothing up this arm…" She pulled on her other sleeve. "nothing up this arm." She waved her arms and said, "Abra, kadabra, …pickachu!"

There was a dramatic puff of smoke and Cecilie stepped forward. I heard some serious coughing and the smoke rose even higher. Cecilie started waving her hands to clear the smoke away and she reached into the smoke to pull someone out. With a small yank I could see a skinny young Bosmer with shoulder-length muddy-green hair. She froze instantly at seeing all of us looking at her. She looked like she was going to pass out.

"Hey…It's Primrose!" Ruby called. She was already rushing up to give her old friend a hug and I realized…it was the same girl from the cooking competition. The same shy little Bosmer.

She bowed to everyone before turning to look at Cecilie. "I thought I didn't have to come back here until the war."

Cecilie patted her on the shoulder. "We really need a good healer. And…you're the best ever known."

Primrose began blushing now, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "So…what's going on then?"

Bloodstain entered the room, glancing down at Primrose (I think; I can't see his eyes). He acknowledged her with a nod of the head and glanced over to Cecilie. "Seer, I see our healer has arrived. Shall I escort her to the morgue?"

Cecilie shook her head. "No point. She can't do much down there. They are dead, after all."

Bloodstain tilted his head to the side, as if questioning her. "Then…why did you summon her?"

Cecilie shrugged. "Cameo. And to reveal something." She directed Primrose's gaze over to Ruby. "You're friends with Ruby, right?"

She nodded and so did Ruby. "Yeah, we met at the cooking competition that you sent me to. Why?"

Cecilie crossed her arms and smiled. "She's Nisha's great-great-great-great-great-great granddaughter."

Both Ruby's and Primrose's mouths dropped. Cecilie nodded and said, "Yup, I did the research while I was away. It's just amazing how those things work out."

Primrose looked over to Ruby and said, "Uh…I knew your ancestor. I hear that you are an orphan to your clan. So…I can fill you in on anything you wish to know about which clan you come from. After all…I am pretty…close to your family."

Ruby smiled and hugged her tighter. "Sure. We can talk in my bag." She grabbed Primrose by her hand and pulled her away as fast as she could.

Cecilie crossed her arms and smiled. "There…that's solved." She pulled off a checklist and marked something off of it. "Things to do before Ruby dies. Check." She looked away and I heard her mumble, "All that's left is to get Maleek to kiss her." _Yeah, good luck with that._ I thought as I looked away. Maleek wasn't within hearing distance so I doubted he heard her.

So, that was Cecilie's big surprise: summoning Primrose. Why? Just to give Ruby someone to talk to. And now…I had nothing to do. I was out of things. So, what did I end up doing?

…

"No…a little bit lower." I said through a vibrating voice as Bloodstain continued to hammer down onto my back.

"Miss Battle-Born. I do have a case to solve." He replied while karate chopping my lower back.

I heard a bone in my lower back pop and I felt some instant relief. I groaned happily and relaxed. This felt great. I had no idea that he was such a great massager.

I sighed as I relaxed my neck. "You can wait ten minutes. After all, I don't think anyone will mind waiting to die for a couple minutes."

He stopped and looked down at me. "You think I'm the killer."

"Well, it isn't anyone else on the island; not the servants, cooks, or us. You are the only person who has the ability to teleport and has an unfamiliar scent that Ria didn't recognize immediately. You can throw spells around and I'm guessing your 'shouts' can cripple someone just as easily as some virus." I said as I glanced up at him.

He seemed to chuckle and nod his head. "You've thought of everything, Miss Battle-Born. So, in this world of yours…who killed the first four victims?"

I paused for a second. That was true. He wasn't even here when that happened. He's from the future. He wasn't even born yet. Dammit, he got me there. Oh well, might as well humor him. "A small bipedal…" _What would Asger say?_ "pancake with waffle-shaped throwing stars." WWAS. My new catch-phrase. Should come in handy if I want to escape inescapable conversation.

And it worked. Bloodstain stopped massaging my back long enough to glance down at me. "Hmm.." He started. "The ancestors had a sense of humor." He nodded to himself before massaging my back further. "Ok, you just earned an extra five minutes of massaging. Now…what would you say if I asked you where the Dwemer came from? I've always wanted to know."

For some reason, Esbern popped into my head. I had to do it. I had to honor him. "Would you believe a story about chickens and hunters? Or would you rather hear about the dragons and dwarves first?"

"Hmm. This sounds interesting." He responded.

…

I groaned happily as I stretched my arms and cracked my neck. That was a good waste of four hours, but now it was late. I had to go to bed. So, I said goodbye to Bloodstain. "Hope I gave you something to think about."

Bloodstain nodded, scratching the chin of his mask. "Yeah…a lot." He stepped away mumbling, "If that's true then…the draugr are really Dwarves."

I kept myself from laughing as I stepped away. I raised two fingers to the sky and whispered, "That's for you, old man."

"Don't worry. You'll be joining him soon." A dark scratchy voice called from behind me.

I spun around, reaching for a blade that still did not exist on my hip. "Maleek. I should have guessed. You were playing us all along. You're the killer."

Standing where Maleek was supposed to be standing, was a much taller, much broader person shrouded in a wispy black shoal. His face was covered by a fox-like mask and he hovered probably only a few inches away from my face. It was enough for me to jump back and gasp. "Who are you?"

"I am…the Blue Rose Lord." The dark voice carried through the air like a nightmare on my spine.

His name caused me to freeze. "The famous Blue Rose Lord who was once known as the Lord of the Blue Roses?"

"Yes."

"The famous Lord of the Blue Roses that was formally known as the Blue Rose Master?"

"Yes." He replied, his voice like a whisper.

"The Blue Rose Master who was once known as…"

"Yes! The Master of the Blue Roses!" He replied, his voice sickened with dark humor. He hovered over me and laughed maniacally. "The one in the same. I have always changed my name to resist being tracked. I guess in hindsight…I should have changed the whole name to something more inconspicuous." He said with a slight distraction growing in his voice.

"Actually, I was going to say Jarl Torygg, the masked Jarl vigilante." I replied flatly. Yeah…we all knew that it was Jarl Torygg that was running around masked in a fox mask. I just thought he was dead. Wow…the perfect cover for becoming a murderer. Who would suspect a dead man?

The Blue Rose Lord bowed. "Yes, I can see that you're a fan of my work."

I stepped back. "You were a vigilante. You went out and killed criminals that escaped your justice and then…you disappeared. That's how we connected you with Jarl Torygg."

The Blue Rose Lord laughed. "True…true." He floated back and forth in the hallway. "I did go around killing criminals that somehow escaped my justice. Mostly because of Maven Black-Briar and her extended resources." He shook his head and then looked over to me. "Now…very clever. Make me all nostalgic and hope that someone comes to interfere with my…newest collection."

I brought my fists up and said, "Why are you doing this?"

He laughed. "Well…I am a ghost. And…I am very vengeful. So…screw you. I don't have to tell you."

When he pushed forward to attack me, I heard someone shout. "Fireball!"

A massive wad of fire walloped in Blue Roses' face and he disappeared. I found my lost breath returning immediately and I fell to my knees. "Oh thank the gods…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want him to steal my murder." I heard an even sicker voice call from behind.

I groaned and snaked my neck around. A skinny female wearing bloodstained white robes. She wore a simple white mask over her face. "I am the one known as the Lunar Splice."

"And you're a Khajiit." I replied.

"And…I'm a Kha…" She stopped short. "Wha? How did you know?"

I pointed to her tail and then I said, "Your name. Only a Khajiit would reference the moon like that. So…what's your story then?"

"My story. It's exactly the same as your story except…mine gets to continue one page longer."

Wow…that was actually pretty clever. Too bad one of us has to die now.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Blue Rose Baron? I mean... Blue Rose Lord! who is he...and why isn't he wearing any pants!_


	63. Ch 63: Lunar Splice

**Cearbhail:**_ Finally. We're coming to a close on this special. Well, soon anyway. Hope everyone had a good halloween. I wonder if I should do a Christmas special too. Hmm... I'll think about it. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_I got away. Oh, I should always explain. I met the murderers. They are the Blue Rose Lord and Lunar Splice. I don't know if they're involved but they are the ones going around killing others. The Blue Rose Lord is infamous. He was a masked vigilante from Solitude who tried to bring justice to all the criminals that escaped his justice. Everyone knew that he was really Torygg in disguise, but I guess everyone liked watching a child run around and kill bad guys while pretending to be someone else. Whatever, I wasn't ever in Solitude while Torygg was alive._

_Then there was Lunar Splice. That name is new to me. A deep orange-furred Khajiit that stood a few inches taller than me. I thought it might be Ruby, but this Khajiit is about a foot or two taller, is not as skinny as a twig, has a deeper voice, and a set of big breasts. The last one alone was unnecessary to mention but it's true. I was surprised she could fit them in her tight white costume._

_Oh yeah, back to how I got away. When Lunar Splice told me that she was going to kill me, I claimed that I had to write something down. Really, I'm just buying time for someone to find us. She's still waiting for me to close this journal so we can start our fight. I guess I should begin. I don't want to keep her waiting for too long. I hear someone coming._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I looked up at Lunar Splice. She waited patiently for me, tapping her arm with her finger while her arms were crossed. She wore tight white leather with a flowing cape, high boots that reached her knees, and a full-faced mask with only two eye-slits. I could see her ears poking out around the edges, her flicking tail, her sharp claws. I know enough about Khajiits. I know that when it comes to hand-to-hand…I don't stand much of a chance against them. Well, good thing I have advanced Blade training. All that sword fighting was about to come in handy…when I slap her with my hand.

I lowered my stance and glanced over to Lunar Splice. She was still waiting for me to close my journal. I was still pretending to write while I ran through my options. I could turn around and run down the hall. I could run up and attack her. I could scream out and charge. Someone would hear me eventually. I could break my limiters and go berserk on her face. But I could only do that for a few seconds and after that I would be pretty much useless for a couple hours or maybe even a day. If she can break limiters too, then it would leave us both wrecked and I could be out for days, or maybe even weeks. Alduin kept me ruined for almost a month. But this bitch couldn't be as tough as Alduin….right?

I didn't break any limiters, but I did decide to flash. I pushed off the ground with enough force and speed to technically disappear. I reappeared right in front of Lunar's face and ran my elbow right into it. As fast as I saw her see me, I could see that she pulled her head back fast enough that my elbow barely grazed her mask as I flew past her. I was hoping to make contact with her, but…since I missed…I crashed into a wall, which I broke through. Then, I crashed through another wall, then another, and another, and then…stopped less than an inch away from the hot spring. I was actually tiptoeing on the edge of the pool and waving my arms around. I tried so hard to push myself back. I didn't want to fall into the hot spring.

I threw my arms back and found my foot stepping back in return. I sighed my relief as I had a solid foot on the ground. I allowed myself to sigh with relief before I felt a hand plant on my back. Time seemed to stop for me as I felt that hand push me forward. I heard a light chuckle from behind me as Lunar Splice's hand continued to play on my back. "Oops."

The hand pushed me and I closed my eyes as I fell straight into the warm, relaxing pool. I allowed myself to lie there for a few seconds while the bubbly water relaxed me. When I resurfaced, I had forgotten all about Lunar Splice waiting for me. So, I resurfaced, put my back against the side of the pool, and sighed contently as the warm water worked at my exhaustion.

Why hadn't I come here yet? Sure, getting a massage was great and so was walking the beach. Swimming in the cool water was nice, while sunbathing was even better. But this was the first time I'd ever sat in hot bubbling water. I had to do this more often. When all this is done, I'm finding a way to create a pool like this in my house. I will spend every moment in it, until I turn into a mermaid.

"Ah-hmm." Lunar cleared throat loud enough to draw my attention. It made me jump enough that I looked up at her. She waited patiently for me, resting her hands on her hips. "Are you going to get out so I can continue killing you? I'd rather not bloody the pool."

I patted the water and said, "I have a better idea. How about you join me in the hot spring and we go back to you murdering me…later."

"You're kidding me." She replied, her voice almost filled with humor.

I shook my head. I was so relaxed by now that I didn't care that she was trying to kill me. So, I figured, if I could get her to relax as well…she wouldn't want to kill me anymore. It was worth a shot, at least. "No, I'm very serious. I'm guessing you don't have many friends…or you wouldn't go around killing others. So, take the cape off and just…relax for a while. We can hang out and then you can kill me if you still feel like it later.

…

We hung out the whole day with no real problems. Sure, she tried to kill me, but I'm used to Babette and Maleek trying things all the time. I'm actually glad that they try every so often now. It prepared me for Lunar Splice and her silly antics. While we sat in the hot springs, she tried to push my head underwater. I let her. It felt good on my face overall. But when I started running out of breath, I decided to tickle her until she let go of my head. It worked. Then we went to the giant wooden box filled with hot steamy air. Oh my gods that felt great. Lunar tried to suffocate me while inside the box. All that hot air went straight to my head when air stopped traveling down my windpipe. She almost got me. But I tickled her again. She's very ticklish, I found out.

After we were done with that, I started walking away from the hot springs. Lunar followed me, almost chuckling over how much fun she had today. She threw her arm around my shoulder and said, "It has been so long since I just relaxed. Can we get a manicure next? My claws are itching to be dulled."

I nodded. "And while you get that, I'll get a facial."

"What's going on?" Asger screamed from behind us.

I spun myself around and shoved Lunar away from me. "Asger, run! She's the murderer killing everyone!"

Asger looked over to Lunar and shook his head. "No, she isn't. My new buddy's been going around killing everyone."

"Who?" I asked.

Suddenly, a giant wave of blue rose petals rose from the ground. It circled into a hurricane and rose to the ceiling. The rose petals fluttered away, revealing the Blue Rose Lord in the middle of the storm. His dark midnight cape fluttered in the wind, a blue rose clenched in his teeth. We wore a half mask that only covered his eyes, while wearing a top hat that looked too formal for anyone's taste. His outfit was a midnight black formal suit with a white ruffled shirt. He wore white riding gloves and carried one black cane with a crystal at the tip.

The Blue Rose Lord bowed to me and said, "I am…the Blue Rose Lord."

Asger nodded. "Yup, he's the killer. Tried to kill me an hour ago."

"And you've just been hanging out with a killer?" I asked. "Don't you ever learn?"

He glanced at me and then to Lunar Splice. "A pot calling a kettle black?"

I glanced back at Lunar Splice and crossed my arms. "Well, it was either that or get my throat slit in the hot springs. It felt nice to relax, even if she tried to kill me every two minutes."

"Every minute and 59 seconds." Lunar said. "I try to be consistent." She glanced down and said, "In fact, I'm overdue. I must kill you now." She charged forward wrapping her arm around my neck and pulling it back.

I tried to claw at her arm but all I could feel were her tight white leather gloves that ran all the way up to her shoulders. I couldn't do much, so I looked over to Asger and said, "Um…how about a little help."

He looked uncertain for a second before looking over to the Blue Rose Lord. "Sorry, but…I have to help my wife."

Blue Rose Lord raised his cane to Asger's face. "No, you must face me first."

Asger nodded and then charged at Blue Rose Lord. Asger was welcomed with three slaps with the cane even before he could step forward. A cane tripped Asger off his leg and he found himself landing in a split. Asger cried out in pain and fell to the ground, grabbing himself. He continued to lie there in the fetal position, moaning in pain.

Blue Rose turned his attention to me and smiled. "All that's left is you, woman."

"No, there isn't!" I heard Ruby cry out. He spun around and I could see Ruby standing there with Pantu and Maleek.

My vision started to blur. I only had a few minutes left before I was choked out. My vision was starting to blacken around on the sides. I sure hoped Ruby and her two friends had a plan because I didn't have much time left for them to play around for too long.

"I challenge you to a Bard Off!" Ruby screamed.

Crap…I'm going to die.

Blue Rose bowed to Ruby and said, "I am familiar with Bard Offs, being from Skyrim. Choose your battle style."

"Food fight." She said.

"A…what?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

In that second of perplex, Ruby pulled out two tubes of frosting and flashed forward. She was in his face, shoving the tubes into his eye-slits. I saw her squeeze the tubes and I heard Blue Rose cry out in pain. He fell down to his knees, clawing at his eyes. "My eyes!"

Ruby pulled out one of her cupcakes and shoved it in his mouth. "Now, eat!" Blue Rose started crying as he chewed on the cupcake. "Now!" She said, pulling him by his collar. "How does it taste. Tell me!" She screamed into his face.

Blue Rose cried harder as he mumbled something out. "It taste like death.."

Ruby sighed and head-butted him. He fell limp to the ground and Ruby staggered back, grabbing her head in pain. "Ow." She said.

My head started pounding and my arms were starting to fall asleep. I tried to say something to Lunar Splice, but I must have been out of air. My voice was nothing more than a quiet whisper.

Ruby glanced at me and my eyesight blurred to where I couldn't see anything. All I could hear was my lungs trying to take in air. "Ok…" A heavy-accented voice said. "Pantu, Maleek. Go save…"

…

"Lydia." It was one of the warmest summer we had. I was dressed in only six layers of clothing and I only had to worry about frostbite if I stayed out longer than two minutes. Well, if I wasn't a Nord at least. So, I was out in one layer of clothing and enjoying the brief sunlight. I was probably around 18 or something. It was before the civil war. Before we had to worry about dragons or anything else. It was me, Ralof, Hadvar, and Ysolda had gone outside to hunt a wolf that had snuck into Riverwood and eaten one of Ralof's pet goats.

"Lydia…" Hadvar said again.

I opened my eyes and let out a quick yawn. I had forgotten that we had gotten lost and it was now day three that we had been separated from the rest of the town. I stretched my arms and groaned. "What is it? Did we find the wolf?"

"No." Ysolda said. "But we did find a shack that belongs to this nice old woman. Her name is Anise."

_Anise?_ I thought. _I remember someone named Anise from somewhere. I think Uncle Balgruuf said something about an Anise. She's wanted for something…what was it?_

Hadvar interrupted me. "She seems like a very nice old woman. She said that we can spend the night in her basement if we need somewhere to sleep. She seems harmless enough."

…

I coughed as my lungs took in air. My dream faded away and I found myself coming back to life. I was so out of it that I started thinking about my dream. That was right before our lives changed: right before I went to Guard School. Before Ralof ran away to Windhelm to find himself. Before Hadvar ran away to Solitude to become a Legionnaire. Before Ysolda…yeah...I still don't know what happened to her. That old woman…Anise…she was the scariest thing I've ever seen. She emotionally scarred us in ways we couldn't forget. When you see someone that old wearing nothing but underclothes…it changes you.

My vision returned and I found myself sitting up. I vomited something up, looked like blood, and threw my eyes up. Lunar Splice! Where did she go?

Standing in front of me was Ruby. She was struggling against Lunar as they slashed at each other with their claws. They were both flashing so fast that I couldn't tell who was winning. When I saw Lunar flash back as Ruby thrust her hand out. Lunar snaked around her hand, snapping her arm and ran her hand right into Ruby's throat.

I tried to stand up but my body was so worn out and oxygen deprived. I tried to push myself onto my knees, but I fell down. Maleek and Pantu were not limited, though. They were charging in to save Ruby.

Lunar and Ruby were frozen in their spots for a few seconds before Ruby reached up to her throat. Lunar squeezed harder and I saw Ruby's eyes roll back. Her claws loosened and her arms went limp. Lunar finally let go and Ruby's limp body fell to the ground with a sickening sound.

I watched as Pantu slid onto his knees and slid over to Ruby. He grabbed onto her hand and gave it a squeeze. Maleek jumped over her body and flew over to fight Lunar Splice. Right as Maleek collided into her, her body disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

When Maleek no longer had an opponent to fight, he turned his attention over to Ruby's collapsed form. He looked over to Pantu and said, "Is she…"

Pantu nodded. "Yeah, she's hunting in the great plains now."

I thought Maleek might laugh or say something offensive, but he didn't. His legs collapsed and he fell to his knees, his eyes focused down at her. "No…"

He threw his arms out and screamed, "NNOOO!"

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: NO! Not Ruby. Huh, I wonder why she had to die?_


	64. Ch 64: Kiss of death?

**Cearbhail:**_ This chapter may not be so long but I wanted to get it done now, before I went to class. It's not done yet. Next chapter will do into the finer details, but that will be tomorrow's chapter. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Another funeral. It's Ruby's this time. Lunar Splice, a crazy Khajiit with huge breasts, killed her. Brelyna diagnosed her death as the same as everyone else's: undetermined. It just like her body ceased functioning. We guess that Lunar Splice has a spell that pretty much shuts down the body. Primrose didn't know what to make out of Ruby's death but she was furious when she found out. There is someone else who's furious: Maleek. When he saw her limp body, he bawled his eyes out. It's almost pathetic._

_Asger can't walk right now. Whatever that split did to him, he can't walk straight now. He's deeply saddened by Ruby's death, but not as much as I thought he would be. Maleek's livid, though. He wants nothing more than to find Lunar Splice and rip her throat out. Well, I have to go now. We're saying our goodbyes to Ruby._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"Bastard. That furry bastard. How dare she…how dare she…" Maleek muttered under his breath.

He was sitting beside me while we watched Primrose and Brelyna put a white sheet over Ruby's face. Now, we all had to stand up and say something to her before we left. It was saying our last words or parting wishes with the deceased. I wasn't sure if Ruby was one to want something like that.

So, as the ceremony began, I took my place towards the end of the line, Maleek right behind me. Everyone pretty much kept their last goodbyes fast and emotionless. Say what you will about our ceremonies, we try to keep them as fast as possible and as less dramatic as possible. She's in a far better place than here right now. The rest of us still have to worry about not dying later.

Asger stepped up to Ruby's body and stopped sobbing openly. "She didn't even get a dramatic dying speech!" Then he stepped away, letting Cecilie step up to say her goodbye words.

Cecilie only smiled and patted her on the head. "Don't worry; your list will be completed soon."

I wasn't sure if I heard this, but I heard Ruby whisper, "Thanks." I guess I was imagining what she might have said in return. Because that sounded real enough to me.

So, it was my turn next. I walked up to Ruby's dead body and just…stood there for a few seconds. I didn't have much to say, but I didn't want to leave without saying something at least. I tried to think about my past with her, all the things we did. All the things I ever said. And finally, I had what I wanted to say.

"Well, I didn't see this coming." I said, deadpanned. "Who would have guessed that in the end, you would be on this bed and I would be looking down at you? When I first met you, you had survived a week of running through snow to hunt a single deer. You survived so much and even saved our lives up in Dawnstar. And then you announced how easy it would be for you to die…to save someone…if your life gave some purpose. And that's what you ultimately did. You died, saving me. It shouldn't be that way. I'm older, I've lived more. I should be on this bed, not you. You should have run when you had the chance. You had so much you wanted to do. I'm sorry I couldn't get you to Solitude, to that house you wanted, to that life you wanted to live. I'm sorry."

I rested my hand on her shoulder and said a small prayer. "May whatever deity you serve collect and treat you well."

I stepped away and let Maleek have his minute with her. He stood there gruffly, looking down at her with dispassionate eyes. He finally sighed before walking up, groaning out in malice. "Hey, furball. Time to get up. We aren't done yet. I still have so much more to do to you." He paused for a second, looking away before rolling his eyes and glaring back to her. "I'm serious. You can't just lie there and leave me alone like this. You're supposed to be here, you're supposed to fight with me. It's our thing. We fight and now…I have no one to fight with. It's not fair. You can't be lying on this bed because that would mean that I would have to find someone else to fight with me. And you're the only person who can put up a decent fight. And…what if I can't find someone who competes with you? What if I never find a good rival? That was you…that is you."

Maleek paused again, looking down at her. His eyes started tearing up again and he had to step away. Pantu started to walk up, but Maleek pushed him back gently. "I'm not done yet. I still have more to say to her."

Pantu only smiled. He stepped back and said, "Ok…take all the time you want."

Cecilie smiled as she walked up. "Wow, Maleek. You're still up here? There are still other people that need to talk to her."

Maleek crossed his arms. "Like I said, I'm not done talking to her yet."

Cecilie scoffed and stepped forward. "What makes you so special? No one else needs this much time to say goodbye. Even my mother kept what she had to say to just one paragraph."

"What makes me so special?" Maleek said, his voice low and almost to a whisper. "How about the fact that Ruby was my rival?"

"So, do we need to bring M'aiq in to chat her to death as well?" She asked in return.

"Not before I'm done." Maleek replied back. "He can sing a poetic verse to her as far as I'm concerned but I'm not leaving until I've gotten to say what I need to say."

"And what is that?" Cecilie asked.

"That I…" Maleek paused, almost losing himself. When he stopped, his entire body froze. "I…" He looked away, confused. "I…don't know." He finished, rubbing his head.

Cecilie only smiled and stepped forward. "Oh…you love her."

Maleek's face back spines straightened and he stepped back. His scales had paled. "Oh gods no…that's not it." He sighed before saying, "I loved fighting her."

Cecilie laughed. "Please. She's dead. If you love her…you should tell her before she's gone for good. It's good for her to know…and if you never tell her, you'll always wonder if you could have. That guilt will eat away at you until you're just as dead as she is right now."

Maleek finally groaned. "Fine! I admit it. I kinda…maybe…sorta…love that furball of annoyingness."

"Kiss her." Cecilie said.

"WHAT?" Maleek screamed, his voice unusually high-pitched.

"Kiss. Her." Cecilie said slower. "This is the last time you'll ever see her body. Now would be the time to do so."

"You want…me to…kiss a corpse? Won't that make me a necrophiliac?" Maleek scrunched his face up with disgust.

"I'm not saying that you have to use tongue or hump it. Just kiss her on the forehead. You'll feel good about it later." She said simply.

I had to admit, it did make some sense, but a part of me was wondering why Cecilie was pushing Maleek so hard into doing this right now. Why right now?

Maleek finally sighed and leaned over Ruby's body. He pulled the white sheet from her face and looked down at her head for a few seconds. He finally sighed and said, "Goodbye, furball." He kissed her lightly on the forehead and started to stand up.

Ruby's hand shot up instantly and snaked around Maleek's head. He cried out in bloody murder as it did so. Then Ruby's eyes slowly slid open. A second later, she was pulling Maleek's head down onto hers and the two of them were locked into a kiss. Maleek's arms swung around viciously as he tried to find balance and even break away. I guess Ruby found a way to control him.

Wait…Ruby? I looked down at her with surprise. She wasn't dead. Well, unless she was really a zombie with some sort of kiss of death that she was testing on Maleek. But somehow I doubted that was the case this time. Maybe next time, but not this time.

Finally, Maleek was able to break away and he took off running as fast as he could. "Zombie kissing cat!" He tripped on his tail as he turned around and face-planted into the ground.

I looked from him to Ruby, who was laughing her butt off now. She smiled and looked over at Cecilie. "Thanks, Lilly."

Cecilie gave Ruby a thumbs-up and said, "No problem. I told you we'd get him to kiss you…too bad it had to be _after_ you died."

Ruby shrugged. "No, it's fine. It's more effective this way." She stood up and jumped off the table. She looked around and shrugged. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have broken character."

Asger shrugged back. "It's fine. I don't think we could have kept this up much longer anyway. Maleek and Lydia might be fun to play pranks on…but enough is enough, I say."

I looked from Ruby, to Asger, to Cecilie. What the heck was going on here? One minute ago, Ruby was dead and everyone was giving her their goodbyes. Now…everyone saw her stand up and walk… and no one was even reacting. What the hell was going on here?

Cecilie finally looked at me and said, "Well, I guess we have some explaining to do?"

Yeah…let's start with that.

….

So, Fiirnar sat Maleek and I down and looked over at us. He shrugged and said, "So…where do I begin?"

"How about why Ruby was playing dead?" Maleek screamed. "How about that?!"

Cecilie walked up to Maleek. "She was playing dead to get you to kiss her."

"But…" I started. "Lunar Slice killed her."

"Did I?" The keep Khajiit voice sounded behind me.

I flashed up and looked at her. She hovered only inches away. "You again?"

She raised her hands defensively and said, "Whoa…there is a something you must know about me." She began. She leaned over and vomited something up. Suddenly, her breasts deflated and her voice deepened. "His name is M'aiq."

"WHAT?" Maleek and I screamed.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: M'aiq was the smoking babe with huge breasts? What is going on in this world? XD_


	65. Ch 65: And so it concludes

**Cearbhail:**_ The final act of this saga. It finally comes to an end. Everything since Host Isle has led to this point. Why did all this happen? Where is everyone? Is anyone really dead? We'll find out...now. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Things that have happened in the past that have caused massive amounts of confusion for me: My Uncle Balgruuf's coming out party, seeing Anise in a bikini, Asger being a skinny Cyrodiilic Nord when he's the strongest Nord around, the tiny small Cecilie claiming to be my daughter, Maleek trying to kill me and stabbing himself with a knife, trying to find out what a sheep was (a very small mammoth), and most importantly…finding out that the past few days have been…a…a…(sigh) practical joke._

_Yeah, a practical joke. Fiirnar is about to explain everything that happened but I'll record what's happened so far so that one day, when I lose all my memories due to having too much stuff happen to me, I can read this and remind myself of how lucky I am to have made it this long without losing my mind._

_So, I Ruby was dead. And I said goodbye to her. And then Maleek said something to her. It was sort of some speech about how she couldn't be dead because he needed her to fight with and then said that he wasn't going to be able to find anyone to compete with anymore. It was really charming to see. But then Cecilie starting arguing with him and convinced him to kiss her. Then Ruby wakes up and kisses him. We both find out the hard way that…she was alive the whole time. And when we questioned her method of dying…Lunar splice walked into the room. She claimed that she wasn't who she was. She vomited something up and then…all the sudden that murdering Khajiit turned into M'aiq. WHAT IS GOING ON?_

_Lydia…_

_…_

Fiirnar, Cecilie, Asger, Red Rum, Ruby, and M'aiq were all standing in front of the following people: Maleek, Isran, and me. I guess we were the lucky three that were being played the whole time. Joy..

Fiirnar looked over to Asger and said, "Ok, so we should start from the beginning. So…we decided to do this the day Lydia screwed up and told Maleek that Ruby had a crush on him."

Ruby looked away and crossed her arms. "Yeah…thanks for that." She said scornfully to me.

Asger stepped forward and said, "And so, knowing that Lydia would only make matters worse and blurted out just how much it would hurt Ruby for Maleek to mess around with that…I decided that I had to do something."

Ruby glanced at me, her eyes unnaturally sharp. "Seriously, you brought this upon yourself."

Asger looked over to Maleek and shook his head. "So, when Maleek started messing with my adopted daughter in a more…sadistic fashion, playing with her feelings for him, I had to do something."

Fiirnar nodded. "And I noticed the turn of events as well. Seeing that small lady being harassed by the small Argonian was very troubling so I confronted the Dragonborn about what we could do. When he decided that we needed to do something to get back at the Argonian, we decided to pay you back for setting all this up in the first place."

Asger crossed his arms. "So, we told the entire crew, except you three, about what we were planning to do. Everyone was fed up with seeing Maleek chase Ruby around. Everyone thought it was annoying and wanted things to go back to normal. So, we all met in secret and we all devised a great plan."

"When I told everyone that Maleek actually has strong feelings of love for Ruby, we tried to find ways to make him express it." Cecilie said. "Then Dad suggested killing Ruby. Because Bards believe that for any romantic feeling to fully develop and express themselves to targets of complicated affection…someone has to die. Like the famous play: Romous and Juliovna."

Ruby looked over at me, her eyes deadpanned. "Seriously…thanks for blabbing."

Fiirnar smiled. "So, when we found out that young Ruby had to die, we decided that killing her so abruptly could have negative effects on the subject. A…disbelief of the prank, or perhaps a denial that that it was actually happening. So then we decided to kill a bunch of people. Everyone in on the prank was a potential death. That's when I acted. I told everyone about Host Isle: an island nearby that was hosed for such events."

"What?" I asked. "What events?"

Fiirnar nudged Red Rum forward. He smiled and rubbed his palms together. "Host Isle. A lovely resort that plays on the words: Host and Isle. When you combine the words together you get 'hostile'. As in…contact with something that wants to harm you. The entire island was designed to host murder mystery parties. The players would crash upon the shore and be forced to live in a simulated serial killer spree while their ship was repaired. The island was meant to be as relaxing and threatening as possible. It is a masterpiece, and I…am its keeper."

Asger smiled. "And that settled that. Fiirnar and Esbern blasted the surrounding water with their Frost magics while Babette blasted Frost magic on the outstretching water. It helped create a massive fog that surrounded our boat. When it became thick enough, Babette used a Magelight spell to create the eerie glow that we had to follow. Scouting out where the island was, it helped us sail right into the entrance."

Isran pointed to himself. "Why wasn't I included in this prank?"

Asger cleared his throat. "The bardic gods of comedy demand that I torment you further. That and you're too serious. I doubt that you could have played along without breaking character at some point. We figured that a stoic person like you could handle massive death. We did play with the idea of actually killing you in case you became a threat to anyone."

"What? You were all going to kill me?" Isran yelled.

Asger sighed. "Only if you started going berserk during the murdering of everyone on the island. So, we purposely killed my own teammates and not so many of yours, although we still needed some to die so that it would not look like it was one of the Dawnguard doing it."

Isran shrugged. "Well, I was too busy being massaged to notice anyway."

I stopped everyone. "Hold on, hold on. So…we crashed on this island….killed a bunch of our friends…just to get Maleek over here to kiss Ruby?"

Everyone nodded.

"So where the hell is everyone? And who invited the Blue Rose Lord?" I screamed.

"I'm right here." The cool voice called from behind. When I spun around the formally tuxedoed Blue Rose Lord was standing a few inches away from me, a blue rose clenched in his teeth. He pulled the rose out of his mouth and then reached up for his mask. When he pulled it off, I could see…

"ESBERN?!" I screamed.

He bowed. "Only one such as myself could play the baron. I know how to play the formal baron better than anyone, even more so than Asger. That and we needed the two of us to fight so that we could rule out the possibility of me actually being him…for some reason."

M'aiq hissed. "And M'aiq played Lunar Splice. To become a woman, M'aiq had to drink a special soup prepared by the Argonian girl. Argonian girl needed privacy to create the brew so we used Esbern first. But to use Esbern, the group needed Esbern to die. So, Esbern was our first victim. When he finally had the costume that Cecilie had summoned, he paraded around, trying to find a good time to mess with Lydia. We knew that Lydia was the key. She would try her best to find the killer and end the threat."

I started thinking about Bloodstain. "So…why did you summon Bloodstain then?"

Cecilie chuckled. "One reason: deniability. We wanted to seem like we were doing everything to find the killer. So, I did what I could do: I summoned one of my old friends: the greatest detective ever known. But for fun, I didn't tell him what was going on; only that he wasn't allowed in Fiirnar's morgue. But he went in anyway and before he could finish his investigation, I had to let him in on the secret. He wasn't thrilled that I was playing a game with him, but he accepted it for what it was. Then he just walked around and exposed people's dirty secrets. He just wanted some fun, I think."

"And Primrose?" I asked.

"Because Ruby needed someone to help heal her heart in case Maleek broke it. I wasn't sure if our plan would work but it was worth a shot." Cecilie answered. "Plus, in case Isran turned vampire hunter, we'd have a very experienced healer on hand."

I closed my eyes for a second. So, everything that had happened in the past few days had been nothing but my family playing a joke on me for the convenience of getting Ruby and Maleek to kiss for the first time. I honestly can't hold it against them because it was mostly my fault that Maleek had started something to begin with. I shouldn't have shared Ruby's secret unless I had full knowledge that Maleek knew everything and even then, I shouldn't say much anyway.

"So, where is everyone else then?" Maleek asked.

Red Rum walked forward, smiling. "Because this island is in fact a murder mystery island, we had to make certain accommodations to the victims. It wasn't fair that just because they were dead that they would miss out on the fun. Costumes are available for those who wish to play villains, while the others are welcome to the underground luxury tour of the island. If you think the above ground luxuries are inviting and somewhat malicious, you should see the underground. No malicious, only luxury."

I nodded. It seemed like a natural logical step in forming a murder mystery island. Even the island itself had a funny name that played on the luxury and the creepy. Host Isle: hostile. Wonderfully planned, that's for sure.

Ruby smiled and patted Maleek on the shoulder. "Ha-ha. You like me."

Maleek glanced away. "What? No, I don't."

She chuckled and walked away. "Now, you don't have anything over me. We're both on the same playing field. You can't use my feelings against me because I'll use that kiss against you."

He crossed his arms and threw his back to her. "You wish. It's not like I enjoyed it."

She smiled deviously and said, "Maybe not…but now I know that I _can_ kiss you. And if for whatever reason I need to win…I know it's your weakness."

Maleek growled and marched up to her. "Oh really? Think you can take me, is that it? What, you get one kiss and all the sudden you're the war-maiden?"

In that second that he stopped talking, Ruby flashed up and pulled him in for another kiss. He froze the instant her lips met his. They stood there like that for a few seconds before Maleek pushed her away, screaming, "STOP THAT!"

Ruby laughed and walked past him. "Yeah…I think I can take you."

I only sighed as Maleek turned around and tackled her to the ground. The two of them started wrestling on the ground. I had to look away before Ruby decided to evolve her knew combat style. I really didn't need to see that, either.

…

So, walking back to my room with Cecilie and Asger proved to be informative. We chatted about just how easy it was to fool me. I wanted to know if there was even one part of the trip that was even real. They told me that Cecilie summoning her old friends was real enough in case people started getting out of hand for the prank. They could only do so much without coming across as running everything. That's why Bloodstain needed to walk around and say random conspiracies, or have Primrose around as a legit healer.

That didn't answer my original question of: why? Why exclude me?

Asger had the logical answer (for once). "Because…I wanted to."

(Sigh) I'll be glad when we're finally done with this island.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Who would have guessed that Asger, Fiirnar, and Cecilie would go through so much trouble just to get Maleek to leave Ruby more or less alone._


	66. Ch 66: Back in Whiterun

**Cearbhail:**_ I finally got this chapter done. It turned out pretty well, I think. Hope you all enjoy and and happy Thanksgiving, or turkey day, or just a regular day if you don't live in America or celebrate turkey day._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_We finally got off that island and back to Solitude. As much to Ruby's hatred, we didn't stay there but instead started heading to Whiterun. She almost didn't come with us, but she did in the long end. She could have stayed at the Bard's College and we threw that at her as an option. She hesitated even more but continued following us. She knows we'll eventually move there someday. We still have a mission to complete and I will see it completed. I have to deliver this war axe to my uncle in Whiterun before the Stormcloaks and the Imperials beat down our doors asking to enter for a war conference._

_Our team is smaller now. Pantu finished his report on everything that had happened during his tag-along adventure with us and has left to tell Brynjolf about it. Zaliika, the devoted girlfriend, has decided to leave with Pantu._

_Something weird has happened, though (I know, weird, right?). This war conference has somehow evolved overnight. The Blades are on their way up to High Hrothgar to convince the Graybeards to join us. The Dawnguard is joining us as well. Now that the vampires are extinguished they need a new enemy to fight…I guess. Isran is giving his men a couple days off and will join us in Whiterun for the conference. Oh and there are the Bards and the Bakers as well. When the Headmaster of the Bards College found out that Asger was conducting war with the Thalmor, the bards decided to join us at the war council. And the Glass Chefs are coming too. They'll join us in a few days. With the Empire, Stormcloaks, Graybeards, Blades, Bards, Bakers, and Dawnguards…our town is about to become a hub of conflict and beer. Oh joy…_

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and sighed as I lied back. The carriage rocked back and forth as we hit small rocks and holes in the dirt road. Yeah, we were traveling by carriage. Our driver was the one from Solitude. It seemed easier than walking all the way back. We're tired. We've done nothing but run back and forth for the past few days. Luckily enough, our team is small again. Just me, Cecilie, Ruby, Asger, Serana, Babette, and Maleek. It's good to be small again.

"So, I've never been to Whiterun. Is it a lovely town?" Fiirnar asked.

Oh yeah…Fiirnar. He's here too. I forget about our pets until they bark.

"I live in Whiterun. It's a nice town, but you'd be surprised at just how much you might not be welcome." Ria responded.

Oh yeah, Ria's here as well. (Sigh)… I miss the old days. You'd think I would remember her better since she was sitting right next to me.

So, our team is not as small as it used to be. We have a very extended family that grows larger every day. It used to be just me…then me and Asger. Then me, Asger, and M'aiq. Add in Hadvar, Cecilie…then Esbern, Ruby, Maleek. Now we have bards, bakers, dawnguard, a Thalmor, and a werewolf. And all of Cecilie's friends. All of which returned to their own time but offered to help out soon again if they were needed.

I looked over to Ruby. She was sleeping peacefully next to Maleek. Both of them had been fighting the whole way down here but they both fell asleep only an hour ago. Now they were snuggled up to each other, wrapped up in each other's arms. It was too bad that they could only act like this when they were asleep. I bet once they wake up in a few minutes they'll be at each other's throats again and not in the playful way.

I had to wake her up eventually because she was carrying the war axe that I needed to give to my uncle. But, it could wait a few minutes more anyway. We were happy that the cart was quiet for once.

Fiirnar chuckled at Ria's response. "I keep hearing about just how much I might not be liked. You'd think I would have been killed by now."

Ria shrugged. "I'm just telling you. The Gray-Manes are not going to like you. They're afraid of change."

Fiirnar smiled and glanced away. "Seeing how I got the Blades to accept me, this should be easy enough…"

The carriage stopped. "We're here." The carriage driver called from the front.

I looked over to Fiirnar and forced a smile. "Oh, don't worry, Fiirnar. I'm sure you'll do just fine…" Oh man, he was so dead.

…

"Welcome, oh mighty ambassador, oh great Thalmor. We bow in your presence." My cousin, Idolaf, said to Fiirnar as he kneeled on one knee, kissing Fiirnar's hand.

I face-palmed and looked away. Asger looked more or less amused with the whole display, and Fiirnar looked as uncomfortable as hell. "Idolaf…stop it." I muttered to him as he continued kissing Fiirnar's hand.

Idolaf, he was the loud-mouth of our family. He struts about in his Imperial Army armor, saying about how great the Empire is and how he's going to join…and yet he never joins. He is the main bad-mouther and antagonizer of the Battle-Borns. Well, him and the old man (as I call him). The old man's name is Olfrid Battle-Born. He's worse because he's old and doesn't care what he says about anyone else. Especially the Gray-Manes. I mean, I'm no fan of them but I don't go around bad-mouthing them or causing open brawls in the streets.

"Boy, get your mouth off of that elf's hand."

Oh boy, speaking of the old man.

Idolaf looked away from Fiirnar and said, "But, sir. He's a Thalmor. He's with the Imperial Army."

The old man grunted in disgust and looked over at Fiirnar. "I am sorry for anything he did to you. He means well, but sometimes I think he's taking this family feud thing too seriously sometimes."

Fiirnar wiped his hand off and glanced down at Idolaf. "It's fine. You'd be surprised just how many people will bow to their knee and do something like kiss my shoes." He patted Idolaf on the head and said, "But I am not to be praised. I am merely a peace-keeper, a servant of the Aldmeri Dominion."

Idolaf cooed. "And that is why you're so awesome…"

I groaned and face-palmed. "Idolaf…we're in public. People are watching."

"For once, listen to your cousin, boy. Stop embarrassing our family." Old man said.

Asger chuckled to himself. "And this is the family I'm marrying into?"

The old man bowed to Asger, taking his hand. "You're marrying my niece? We're claiming the Dragonborn as ours? Such honor. This will show the Gray-Manes that we're better. We have an awesome farm _and_ the Dragonborn."

I groaned and stepped away from the madness. Now the old man was beginning to act just like Idolaf. While Idolaf was groveling over Fiirnar, the old man was graveling over my soon-to-be husband. Just standing here, watching this, reminded me why I wanted to move to Solitude and start a new family. I glanced over to Asger and said, "Can we move this faster? I had to deliver my axe to Uncle Balgruuf."

"Stay your tongue, niece." The old man screamed. "That type of talk is not permitted with children around."

"What? What did I say?" Seriously, what the heck did I say?

"Don't talk about your rump in such a fashion. And to say that you're delivering it to the Jarl of our City…that's just impolite." The old man replied back. "I thought I raised you better than this."

Oh yeah, for the last few years of my teenage years, this guy was the replacement for my father. When mother passed away, my father took off on some quest to find himself. He never did find himself and I'm guessing got lost along the way. He never made it back. Someone who looks just like him was spotted a few times, riding on a mammoth with a shaved head and black robes. I guess my father had become a monk…that rides on top of mammoths. A mammoth riding monk. He took a vow of silence. That's what I heard anyway. I've never seen him myself. But yeah, Olfrid took me in and told me to make something of myself. He forced me to join the Guard. That's what led me to becoming Asger's lifeguard.

So, knowing that I was talking to the possibly only good family influence in my life, I was still bratty as hell to him. I crossed my arms and scoffed as I turned away from him. "I did not say 'ass' I said, 'axe'. As in a sharp heavy-ended weapon."

"Oh, now you've done it. You've said it twice more." Old man replied.

"Hey, old man! Calm it. I only said it once."

"Once is still one times too many. Bring that rump over here. I'm going to remind you what happens when you disrespect your elders."

"As if, you old pervert! I'm not letting you spank me!"

"What? I am not a pervert. Spanking is a disciplinary action that makes unruly children more compliant with taking orders and not breaking the rules set down by society."

"I'm an adult. Spanking is no longer an option for disciplinary actions!" I screamed back.

I paused long enough to glance at the growing crowd surrounding us. Everyone from town was pretty much gathered around us. Some of them were laughing, others were smiling, and the few Gray-Mages that had gathered were shaking their heads in disgust.

Ysolda was the first one to say something. "Lydia! Welcome home!" She said, running up to me and throwing me into a hug. "You're back. We have to have a welcoming party."

Vignar Gray-Mane crossed his arms as he walked up. "The only Battle-Born I respect…other than Jon's fiancé, at least." He patted me on the back and turned to the crowd. "Our little trouble-maker is back."

Every laughed as they started welcoming me back to Whiterun. I guess I should have seen this coming. I was a very active child and everyone in Whiterun knew me. With friends like Hadvar, Ralof, and Ysolda, I got in a lot of trouble. Sometimes it involved going after wolves or giants. But it usually ended up with trouble following us back to Whiterun. I gained a reputation for being a trouble-maker in a few years, even though it was never my idea to go outside the city, or to attack something. I was always just along for the ride. They were the only other kids around after all. I didn't want to be that weird kid that sits in the corner and reads books all day long. So, because I followed a very active crowd and helped every adult with their daily chores…I'm famous. Even most of the Gray-Manes liked me. Well, I was the black sheep of the Battle-Borns…in fact most Battle-Borns will even mention my side of the family that was pretty much killed off. I was all that was left of my side of the clan.

"Give me back my niece!" Old man screamed as he snatched me back from Vignar. He grabbed onto my arm and literally pulled me away from Vignar.

"_Your_ niece? Well, she may be, but _I_ was her trainer in Guard School. So, she's _my_ apprentice." Vignar pulled harder.

I groaned in annoyance as both old men started pulling me like I was a doll or a toy to be fought over. This happened so much during my childhood that I learned to ignore it. This was a Mondas for me. Asger chuckled to himself and slid past both of them. "Excuse me, but… she's _my_ wife." He said as he knocked both men's hands off of my arms. He wrapped me up and glared at them as he pulled me away.

I shrugged as I stared at the two old men. "Sorry, but we are in a hurry. We'll party after I get permission to let my child in and after I deliver my axe to Jarl Balgruuf."

"Don't say ass in public! You know better!" Uncle Old Man screamed to me as I walked away with Asger.

I smiled and hugged Asger close to me. "Thanks for getting me away from that. I thought they were going to pull my shoulders out my sockets."

Asger chuckled and shook his head in amusement. He's weird. "You have a fun family, Lydia. I thought they'd be boring like you, but I guess you're just the boring child."

I shrugged. "My side of the family is dead. I'm boring because I'm stricken with grief and contempt over not having a loving parent to guide me during my teenage years. I had that old man you just saw to watch over me. The entire time was sword training with Jon to become a guard, when I was supposed to be a cow milker and egg collector. I was supposed to take over the farm one day but I guess Old Man had different plans for me." I glanced over at Asger to see his reaction to my little speech. Everyone else gets one long sob story, and I had to really stretch mine and over-exaggerate my condition as a teenager, but I wanted him to hear _my_ story, for once. Honestly, I was mind-mannered even when my parents were alive. I never wanted to be a farmer and I did push Uncle Old Man to let me become a guard. Having been Jon's sparring partner for three years, I wanted to fight for a living.

As we walked past the vending stalls, my eyes fell upon the old Gray-Mane woman. She looked as depressed as always. When she saw me, her eyes lightened up. Then she saw Fiirnar behind me and I saw a fire brewing inside. Oh no…

"YOU!" She screamed to Fiirnar.

He paused and pointed to himself. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" She walked away from her vending stall and marched up to him. "Where do you get off, stealing children?"

"What?" He asked.

"My son. What did you do with him?" She screamed, marching up to Fiirnar's chest and poking him.

Cecilie the whole time since we've walked into the town stayed in the back, quietly watching everyone freak out. But now she was walking up to defend Fiirnar. She nudged her way in between Fiirnar and the old Gray-Mane woman and said, "Ok, there is a bit of a misunderstanding here and I know that…"

The old lady slapped Cecilie so hard that she actually lost her balance and crashed into the wooden support beam for the general goods store. The old lady glared at her and said, "Mind your own business, child. This is a Thalmor and I _know_ he has my child." Cecilie rubbed her head in pain and settled herself down to the floor to rest. It looked like she might have hit that beam harder than I would have thought.

I face-palmed again and I felt my hand forming a small dent on my forehead. This was just what I was hoping to avoid. Her son had joined the Stormcloaks and his unit was attacked by the Imperials. For a few weeks, she was bothering the Battle-Borns about it, since she believed that we had connections with the Imperial Army…for some reason. I guess now she was under the belief that the Thalmor had taken him. That much could be true, I guess.

"Why would I take your son?" Fiirnar asked, politely.

She slapped him across his face. He took it well. He only shifted his stance and rubbed his cheek. "My son was in the Stormcloak Army. His unit was attacked by the Imperials and I heard that the prisoners were taken to the Thalmor base behind Solitude for interrogation."

Everyone paused as we looked over to Fiirnar. He nodded and shrugged. "Ok, that makes sense then. May I know his name?"

"Thorald Gray-Mane." She replied.

Fiirnar nodded. "Ok, I will send a message to the soldiers in that fort. If such a person is held captive, he will be released promptly. I personally do not believe in taking prisoners or interrogations. Although, it does happen too often."

The old woman crossed her arms. "I don't believe you, but I guess that will have to do."

Fiirnar bowed to her. "I promise to you that I will do whatever I can to release your son. Even if I have to march down there and release him myself. I am Fiirnar, son of Elenwen and Fiirnar. I have a lot of diplomatic persuasion and I will not tolerate these types of actions that belittle our reputation."

She seemed to believe him and threw herself around him in a hug. "Thank you, elf. Thank you.."

I only sighed and looked up the staircase. I sure hope Uncle Balgruuf was in a good mood. Because I'm sure that he was not going to be happy about this.

…

"Ah, Lydia, Dragonborn. I heard you had returned. Welcome home." Uncle Balgruuf said as he stood up from his royal chair. He spread his arms out for a hug and I allowed myself a quick hug as he threw his massive arms around me. When he finished, he patted Asger on the shoulder. "I heard that there is a celebration tonight. Well, that and that there is an angry pair of creatures trying to kill each other outside my gates. Now…you said that the young Khajiit was your daughter…" He paused, giving me a weird glance. "Lydia…what the fuck?"

Asger covered his ears and ran off. "Not listening!" He screamed, running away.

I only shook my head. I knew he was joking but when he tripped over a table and crashed into the floor, I think the joke had run too far. My real daughter only shook her head. "I'm her daughter." Cecilie called out.

Balgruuf turned his glance to her. "How?" He glanced at me. "Ok…what the hell happened out there?"

I sighed and took a deep breath. "Asger and I started his grand adventure to find an old perverted man in Riften. We ran into a Khajiit monk who turned out to be an old friend. Now, the two of them started making my life hell and we ended up captured by the Imperial Army on our way to Riften. That's when I met this eleven year old girl named Cecilie. She was the Imperial Seer. She pulled me aside and claimed that she was my daughter from the future. Then she claimed that Asger was her father. So, that means that we had a child sometime in the future. Surprise, surprise. Cecilie said that she came back in time to make sure that Asger and I fell in love because I'm emotionally stupid or something. Once we helped out the Imperial army, we invaded Riften, started a riot, and killed the leader of the Thieves Guild. There we found the old perverted man, after taking the city away. Leaving, Asger decided to buy a horse. We got captured by pig thieves that turned out to be mages trying to create talking pigs and horses. Asger gave a speech to highly intelligent pigs and horses about uprising and not being test subjects. That turned out to lead to a war. From there we ran and hid in a cave. That's when I met this Khajiit girl. She was starving to death. We fed her and she followed us."

Balgruuf sighed. "Ok, so is that how you ended up with a Khajiit daughter?"

"There's more to the story." I responded.

Balgruuf stood up. "Well, I'm going to get some popcorn and then we're going to continue this."

Oh joy…

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Oh yeah, I'm not done with my story recap. Finish it next chapter._


	67. Ch 67: Lydia's recap

**Cearbhail:**_ Man, this chapter turned out better than I originally thought it would. Probably some mistakes and some excluded information, but I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you all enjoy reading it. I have some returning puns that I like throwing around and some returning themes. Yay repitition._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Today's been…predictable. I arrived in Whiterun with my group. As expected Ruby was denied access, even after me stating that she was with me. Guards told me that they couldn't allow her until the Jarl approved it, regardless of her being with me. Maleek, as always, was denied access to the town as well. But, it wasn't because he's an Argonian. No, he tried to kill Asger and the guards detained him. Maleek escaped, bruising a few guards along the way. Then Ruby tried to stop him and now the entire front part of the gate is pretty much ruined. The guards gave them both a wide berth while they fought. I bet they've never seen action this intense before._

_After I arrived in town, I was immediately welcomed by my cousin, Idolaf. He was talking shop with one of the blacksmiths. He wanted more arms for the Imperial Army. Then he saw Fiirnar and turned into a drooling fanboy. Then the old pervert came by to say hi. He found out I'm engaged to Asger and that led to him to turning into a drooling fanboy too. By the time I had arrived to the castle, I was mentally exhausted. Still am. Uncle Balgruuf has demanded to know everything that has happened during my release from this city. I got up to chapter 12 before he demanded popcorn and a bathroom break. In that time, he has allowed Ruby and Maleek to come in. He wants us all here so that he can get as much information as possible. Crap…I still have to give him my axe. I almost forgot about that._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I watched as everyone from the Battle-Born family started piling into the room. The Gray-Manes and the Companions were joining us as well. Everyone from town was joining us in the great hall. Oh great, I had to explain what on Nirn has happened in front of everyone.

My eyes darted over to Old Man, who was glaring at me. He looked from me, over to Cecilie, back over to me, and then over to Ruby. He had heard the story up to so far. Everyone had by now. Oh yeah, I should explain. While cooking up a city's worth of popcorn, Uncle Balgruuf called everyone from town in to have me tell everyone my crazy adventure. He filled them in on what I said so far and now we're all going to hear the rest of the story.

Old Man, still glaring at Cecilie and Ruby, shook his head. "Girl, I don't know what you were thinking when all this happened. Knowing you, I bet you just stood in the background and let it happen regardless of how much you didn't like it. Just like when you were a child and hung around Hadvar and Ralof. Every time they suggested something, you just shrugged and lugged around your journal to write down what happened in a non-emotional recap."

Wow, that was actually a pretty accurate description. A little rude, but accurate.

Old Man looked over at Ruby and said, "So, you're Lydia's daughter?"

She nodded. "Yup."

He looked a little skeptical and his eyes deadpanned. "And you're really a Khajiit?"

She nodded again. "Yup."

"And you're a child?"

"Yup."

Everyone in the room was instantly drawn to her. "Wow, look at that, they really do exist." Ysolda said. She rushed up to Ruby and started rubbing her face on Ruby's cheek. "Her fur is _so_ soft."

Ruby glanced from her over to me. "Lydia…what's happening?"

I shrugged but it was the Old Man that answered. "Well, we've only seen Nord children in Skyrim. No elves, or Khajiits, or Argonians. Nor Orcs. Just…humans." He scratched his head and looked around. "Was Faendal in Riverwood as a child?"

Ysolda and I shook our heads. "Nope, moved there when he was 19."

Old Man looked over to Uncle Balgruuf's housecarl, a dark elf named Irileth. "What about you? Were you raised in Skyrim?"

Irileth crossed her arms. "What business is it of yours? The nature of my raising is my own to know."

Old Man shrugged. "Fine then, go wallow in your leather armor in the corner of the room while the rest of us speculate on that."

Balgruuf walked back into the room. Behind him were three servants dragging a giant cauldron filled with popped corn. It smelled very good. I wished to join him in his feast. Balgruuf smiled at Irileth and patted her on the head before saying, "No, she was raised in Cyrodiil. I rescued her during the war and she pledged her sword arm to me for the remainder of her life. Oddly enough, she was incapable of crossing into Skyrim until she turned adult age. Hmm…" He started scratching his chin. "We really should get that barrier checked some time."

"What barrier?" Ruby asked.

"It wasn't like that!" Irileth screamed to Balgruuf. "I told you that I had family business and then I had a ritual in Morrowind that involved my presence before I could come to Skyrim. I've been all over Tamriel and I was never barred entrance to those lands while being young. True, I never tried Skyrim but…I'm sure that's just…coincidence…" Her voice started trailing away.

The room grew silent before Ysolda went back to rubbing her face on Ruby. "Her fur is so soft, unlike the Khajiit caravans. Their fur is rough and greasy. Not this girl's, though. So soft…" Still rubbing her head against Ruby. I could tell that Ruby was actually starting to get annoyed.

Balgruuf took his seat and motioned for the giant bowl of popcorn to sit in front of him. "Come now, all of Whiterun. Let us feast upon this popped and heavily buttered corn whilst my niece tells us about her crazy adventure that led her to becoming a mother to a Khajiit cub and some girl who's at least 15 years of age."

"16." Cecilie said.

"At least 15 years of age." Balgruuf repeated as a finality. And then he motioned back over to me. "Now, Lydia, please continue your interesting story in your flat emotionless voice and over-analytical descriptive talking. My children wish to nap and I'm sure they'll get plenty of sleep this fine evening whilst telling us your tale."

_I hate you…_ I thought to my Uncle as I looked around the room.

Asger chuckled from beside me, clearing a tear from his eyes. "Man, Lydia. He's got you pegged."

I sighed and placed my hands on my hips. I felt my hand brush against the edge of the axe hanging from my belt. I suddenly remembered what I originally came here for. "Wait, sir. I have to deliver this war axe to you."

"Stop saying ass!" Old Man screamed.

"I said 'axe'. Not 'ass'! Clear the wax from your ears you old coot!" I screamed to him.

Dagny, Uncle Balgruuf's daughter, and the annoying spoiled brat I mention from time to time, turned to look at him. "Father…what's an ass?"

Old Man looked furious with me. "Ohh…now you did it, Lydia. Now…tell her exactly what an ass is."

I sighed and walked up to Dagny. I bent down to see her eye-to-eye. She waited patiently for an answer. What could I tell her? I found a smile forming inside me as I figured out a way to win. "It's like a horse."

"A horse?" She echoed.

"A horse. A small horse, a tiny horse that's as big as you." I replied, emotionless.

"Like a pony?" She asked, innocently.

"Yes, just like a pony."

She looked over to her father and smiled. "Daddy, Daddy. I want an ass!"

Balgruuf did a spit take on the ale he was drinking. I could see him straining to not laugh. Asger had no such reservations, though. He fell on _his_ ass and started laughing.

Balgruuf glared at me and then looked innocently down at his daughter. "Ok, dear. We'll buy you a pony."

Fiirnar, who's been unable to understand the true nature of this conversation, rubbed his chin. "A pony would be preferable to an ass. Asses are noisy and ugly to look at. Their faces remind me of Orcs. Not to mention they smell."

Asger started rolling on the floor, snorting out. "Yup, those Orcs…their faces look like asses to me. Smell like them too." Ruby was now rolling on the floor as well, her tail twitching as she laughed in her annoying high-pitched voice. Half of the room did either a spit take or bent over trying to stop their own escaping laughs at Asger's joke.

"So…" Dagny started. "an ass is an ugly pony?"

"More or less…" Fiirnar stated.

I face-palmed and turned myself away. I didn't even start this…this was my Uncle's fault. Both of them.

Nelkir, the only child in our family that I mildly respect and pity because he's…well…gullible, smiled. "Ah, man. They sound cool. An ugly small horse. I want an ass now. When I grow up, I'm going to raise an ass. I'll be an ass farmer."

Asger stopped rolling for a second, trying to catch his breath. His face was a deep shade of blue. "It's…called…" He paused, laughing. "an…ass…herder!" He lost control and went back to rolling on the floor.

Ruby was just as much out of it as Asger was. By now, looking around, I could see that I had single-handedly either made everyone in the room either mortified or as hysteric as Asger and Ruby. Ysolda was one of the mortified ones, mouth dropped to the floor, eyes wide, ears covered. Both Old Man and Uncle Balgruuf were going to murder me later, but…it's really their faults. I'll be sure to point that out later.

"Uncle Balgruuf. The axe…" I said, unsheathing it. This should stop all that nonsense.

He sighed and said, "It's all a part of your story, right?"

I sighed back. "Dammit." I muttered.

Dagny started, "Daddy, what…"

"It's a small locking device for the ribbons that soldiers wear on their overly fancy formal uniforms!" I screamed to the heavens.

"Oh…ok. Thanks, cousin." Dagny replied.

I sighed my relief and I noticed that I had just dodged a bolt. I'm glad I made that up on the spot. She seemed to forget that our soldier don't wear ribbons on their service uniforms. We aren't girly or egotistical like that. Well, she was a child, I bet she didn't even know what a service uniform was. Heck…I don't even know what it officially is. Some leather dress, I'm sure. Since I never see any Imperial wearing pants, only leather dresses covered in assorted armor.

"Lydia? Story? Popcorn. Getting Cold." Uncle Balgruuf said as clearly as he could.

I groaned again and cleared my throat. "Right, so because of Asger teaching pigs what happens to them, we had to run for our lives and hide in a cave. We ran into a starving Khajiit cub that was stained in blood and carrying a deer three times its size in her mouth."

Ruby stood up in front of me and raised her hand. "That was me."

I pushed her away. "Anyway…She passed out and we fed her. She almost took Esbern's hand off. Oh yeah, Esbern was the perverted paranoid old man I mentioned earlier. The one from Riften. Oh yeah, speaking of him, he actually turned out to be this old Blade who knew about the dragons invading Skyrim and why Asger could eat dragon souls. I didn't hear anything of it because Asger was interrupting me from listening to the conversation behind me."

Asger crossed his arms and turned his head away in a huff. "If you had told me to shut up, I would have."

I sighed. "Anyway, after we fed the Khajiit cub we left for Riverwood. Since Asger led us bravely  
along the pathway from Riften to Riverwood, we got lost and ended up in Dawnstar. The Khajiit cub followed us from behind, trying to hide behind small trees and buildings every time we turned around. Anyway, in Dawnstar, we ran into a Dunmer that wanted to kill a Daedra that was terrorizing everyone. We marched up, got knocked out, had weird dreams about sheep…"

"Daddy, what's a sheep?" Dagny asked.

I sighed. "It's a small mammoth, about the size of a goat."

"What?" Irileth responded. She shook her head. "Never…have I heard it compared like that. What conclusion did you use to arrive to that decision?"

"Wool fur." I responded.

She hesitated. "Fair enough. But it's more like a goat with mammoth-like fur."

"That just sounds weird, Irileth." Balgruuf responded. "But a small mammoth the size of a goat…I can believe that."

"Anyway.." I started back up. "The Khajiit woke us up and revealed that she's a long lost crystal shaman. She helped us out in the temple and revealed that she was a prisoner by Alik'r slavers. They were turning her into a brothel dancer. That and she didn't have a name. So, we told her to name herself. She chose Ruby. Then she gave a dramatic speech about dying to save us. We all fell in love with her and I promised that she could live with us. She accepted but still tried to kill herself in a martyr attempt. But she didn't die and saved Dawnstar. Then on the way back to Dawnstar, we found out that Cecilie was captured by a Thalmor."

"My father." Fiirnar responded.

"Right, his father." I pointed to Fiirnar. "They executed my daughter for some stupid and dated trial that relies on no proof or proper justice system. We all cried and then we found out that she was alive. The dead body was really a sheep that was transformed with Alteration magic. Then we left Dawnstar, returning to Riverwood. Delphine and Esbern kissed and led us to a Forsworn captured ruin. Asger wanted me to learn magic and that led a whole bunch of weird dreams and rumors of my evil twin making mammoths dance."

Fiirnar nodded. "Ah, yes. I remember seeing someone just like you in Rorikstead. She was wearing a very distasteful outfit."

"Anyway, we took a few days off and we rested our sore feet. For a second, I thought I might have been pregnant. It turned out to be gas. But that day, we met an Argonian assassin child. He was very clumsy and almost killed himself while trying to kill me. Asger kept him. Because he's stupid. The brat tried to kill Asger every ten minutes for the next few days while looking for the temple. We found it, Asger lost his clothes, caught lice, and I almost killed the Argonian. Then Asger left to find a way to kill the evil dragon demon: Alduin. I spent a month or so training as a Blade. So did the Argonian, Cecilie, and Ruby. Oh, but because Cecilie was eleven, she was too young to train. So she vanished and returned as a sixteen year-old. Esbern's nose started bleeding. That pervert."

"This Argonian has a name!" Maleek screamed.

"Anyway, the Khajiit monk visited us and told us that Asger needed our help. We traveled up to High Hrothgar and got captured by Stormcloaks along the way. Ralof turned out to be one of them and I had a fun time annoying him. We got our butts handed to us by some old men in gray robes and then helped Asger fight Alduin. I punched Alduin in the stomach and he flew away with his tail between his legs."

"Drinks all around!" Balgruuf shouted. "Alduin is defeated."

"Then Asger and I fell to our deaths. We landed in some frozen lake and I woke up on a pirate ship. Things happened and it ended with draugr dancing in the streets with some flamboyant werewolf zombie in a red leather jacket grabbing his crotch and squealing in a high-pitched voice. It was not a happy day for anyone. Well, we finally got back to our friends and were escorted to Windhelm. We met this annoying wood elf named Berner who tricked us into drinking pig urine wine."

Balgruuf's eyes widened. He looked down at his glass of purple wine and stopped me. "What? A wood elf named Berner…gave you pig…urine…wine?"

I pointed to his glass. "Yeah, and it looks like what you have now."

He retched in his mouth and stood up. He charged out of the room. "We'll continue this when I get back." He screamed as he charged out of the room. A few seconds later, I could hear him vomit.

"Sir! That's my herbal medicine supply!" Some guy screamed.

…

Uncle Balgruuf took his seat and started shoving more popcorn into his mouth. "What happened next?" He looked up at me.

"We arrived in Windhelm and were immediately imprisoned for causing a brawl with a drunk guy. Ruby was refused entrance to the city so she got high off of moon sugar outside with the other Khajiits. Ulfric let us out of prison and talked to Asger about joining his side of the war effort. Asger declined, the two men stared each other into a stalemate and then…decided to join forces with everyone to get rid of the Thalmor."

I felt a sudden chill over my shoulder, right where it met with my neck. It had that sudden feeling was attached to a warm breath gently touching my neck. "You forgot to mention me, Lydia."

I jumped out of my skin and felt two sharp teeth impact on my neck. "My neck!"

"My nose!" Babette screamed. She fell to the ground, her wings folding back as she crashed onto the floor.

I waited for my breath to calm itself. "No, I left you out on purpose." I screamed to her while she rolled across the floor. "We're not mentioning our time with the Dawnguard. You know…spoilers and stuff."

Fiirnar shrugged. "And Host Isle?"

"I'd just as fast pretend that it never happened." I crossed my arms and turned away from him.

Uncle Balgruuf sighed. "Ok, now that you've told me how everything led up to this…even though it makes no sense at all…I'm ready to receive your axe. Just hand it over to me and have the Dragonborn explain it to me."

"Sir, don't say ass in front of the children!" Old Man screamed.

Sigh…I hate my life.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Man...can it get any crazier? Yeah...It can._


	68. Ch 68: Darkness rises when Silence pies

**Cearbhail:**_ It's a good long chapter. Well, maybe not historically the longest, but I think it got somewhere close. Took me two days to get it done. I have finals coming up again so I might be too busy the next following week or...I just might have all the time in the world. Ok, so played my favorite random game with my friends. Got 'pie' and 'mermaid madness' as random words or suggestions. Well, one of them I did, the other...being set up for it. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear Journal,_

_Uncle Balgruuf has been completely briefed on the whole situation involving the war council meeting in…six days. Yeah, that much time has passed by. I had only arrived in Whiterun a week ago and now there is only one week left until we meet in secret to discuss what we're going to do about the Aldmeri Dominion. Between the Imperials, the Stormcloaks, Whiterun Hold, the Graybeards (if they show up), the Blades, the Bards, the Bakers, the Vampires, Companions, the Dawnguard, and I'm sure that list will grow even larger. Man, we have quite an army brewing. It's almost weird to think that we've all just seemed to come together at this time of war._

_Well, while are waiting, we're selecting a location for this meeting. It was going to be on High Hrothgar if the Graybeards would indulge us, but I think that a meeting of this size can only be held within our town, most likely within Dragonsreach. We already have some bards and bakers getting settled in. The Full Course is here in strength and they're setting up stalls for their feast for that day. I guess they plan on making our city festival grounds. With bards out and about, playing instruments and other annoying stuff, it seems about right._

_Pantu and Brynjolf have joined us. Brynjolf brought a few of his thieves with him. When I asked about that, he concluded that the Thieves Guild has no love for the Thalmor and want them gone as much as the rest of us do. Then Brelyna showed up with some of the mages from the College of Winterhold. If we keep adding people like this, we might just have a united Skyrim. Is that kinda thing even possible?_

_Maleek has been…weird lately. He's actually requested that I walk with him so he could talk to me in private. I wonder what it's about. With so much stuff in the works, I need a few minutes away from the town. I might as well see what he wants._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The town was as active as ever. For the first time in I don't know how long, I had to push past people just to get through the streets. People from all around Skyrim were coming here just to be present for the week-long festival. That was the cover that my uncle settled upon. If we just invited leaders from all around Skyrim to 'talk', it would have looked very suspicious. Especially with both the Stormcloaks and Imperial Legion involved. He thought that if we invited them to some obscure party in the revelation of a new Dragonborn (Ria) that it would cover up everything. Thankfully, Ria is a Dragonborn and she was just revealed so it pans out pretty easily.

I ducked my head as a fire-breathing acrobatic coughed up a fireball. Several other acrobats were busy juggling while bards were singing in the background. This was the most fun I've ever seen in this town. Too bad I wasn't a kid anymore. I mean, sure I could enjoy this and try a caramel apple but…I never had this growing up. I had to go to Ivarstead if I wanted something crazy to happen. And now Ivarstead is a small ghost town. It wasn't anything like it used to be.

I stepped back as a clown threw a cream pie into the face of some random person in front of me. I stepped around as the person returned fire with another pie. I ducked that one and suddenly, everyone started throwing pies. It was a battlefield and I was caught right in the middle. I stepped to the side as three or four pies flew past my head. I smiled as I tilted my head to the right as a pie came flying from behind. It flew past my head, colliding with the face of the Priest of Talos. He was right in the middle of his speech about a pie-for-a-pie. When he wiped the pie off his face, he stuck his hands out and (with Conjuration magic) summoned an entire arm filled with cream pies. He charged into the pie war, leaving me gladly to walk away.

I paused by the edge of the battlefield and just watched as the Battle-Borns and Gray-Manes waged a full-out war against each other. Pies flied left and right. I could even see Old Man charging in, two pies in each hand. He personally smashed other people's faces into the pies. It was quite the sight.

Old Man glanced over to me. "Hey, girl! Get you _donkey_ over here and help us put the Gray-Manes in their place!"

"No!" I screamed back. "I have to meet Maleek. He needs me to help him with something."

That's when I saw Jon and Oflina were hand-in-hand as pies flew all around them. They were swearing off the family grudge so that their love would reign eternal…or something poetic and mushy like that. Jon took a pie to the face from the Old Man. Jon passed out and Oflina freaked out. She bent down and tasted some of the cream from the pie. "Cream!" She screamed. "Why oh Gods did my Jon have to suffer?" She started crying and reached for a pie lying on the ground. "A pie to my love's face? Cream, I see, has been his timeless end. Oh stupid idiot, taking whole pie to his face and left no square inch for me. To help me along, I will kiss his lips. Hopefully some cream will yet remain." She leaned down and kissed Jon on the lips. She rose and licked her lips. "His lips are warm." She turned to the pie in her hands. "This battlefield is noisy. Oh cream-filled crusty pastry in aluminum form holder. Strike me in the face and let me pie!" She slammed the pie in her face and she slowly joined Jon on the ground, taking his hand before joining him in mock-oblivion.

Asger appeared from beside me. He was clapping his hands loudly enough to make me jump at hearing him appear from nowhere. "A classic rendition of Romous and Juliovna, closing act. The scene where the fair maiden stabs herself with a knife after her lover drinks fake poison."

Ruby appeared at the other side of me, also clapping her hands. "Yeah, that was awesome!" She squeaked and rubbed a tear from her eye. She looked at me and said, "Hey, Lydia…" That was when a pie smashed her in the face. Ruby rocked backwards and landed on her back. She growled and sat up. There, with her hand out, was Cecilie.

Cecilie smiled and crossed her arms. "Well, Ruby…whatcha going to do now?"

Ruby growled and stood up, conjuring two pies of her own. "I'm going to cream you!"

I stepped away and let my two daughters commence pie war with each other. Sigh…I bet I was going to be tasked with cleaning this up. Since my uncle really loved messing with me, I just know that this will become my responsibility somehow.

I turned my back to the pie war, happy and surprised that I escaped without getting pied. After all, it wasn't like a random pie was going to clock me to the back of the head while I was backing away from it. Seriously…not a chance of _that_ happening.

The Wind District was now a pie zone, so I wonder what would happen to the Plains District. Oh yeah, I should explain the difference. The Wind District is located up that walkway that leads up to giant dead tree. That area was now consumed in combat with pies. The Plains District is the lowest district in our town. It houses all the stalls, the inns, our small house. It where all the poor people live…for some reason. Oh, and it floods when it rains. All that run-off from the Cloud and Wind District do not help with the rain. Good thing it only snowed. That was also a problem. Make a snowball up at Dragonsreach and let it roll downhill. It will grow in size all the way down and then explode in the market, leveling all the shops. One time I accidentally leveled the general goods store. … No one ever found out that it was me that did that. I intend to keep it that way. The store owner is still sore about that incident, even though he thinks it was a freak accident.

Walking down the stairs, I could hear the battle above me become louder. More people must have jumped in now. "Full Course, assemble!" I heard Darius shout. I paused for a second and rubbed my eyes in both annoyance, frustration, and a little exhaustion. Too…many…memories. A few seconds after Darius said that, I felt the ground shake. I heard a loud explosion and looked behind me. I could see a mushroom cloud of cream expanding up into the sky.

I covered my head as bits of milk rained down around me. This…whatever it was, had just gone from crazy to well…normal. Yes, 'normal' rates higher on the crazy scale than 'crazy'. I'm just glad it's happening to Whiterun for now and _not_ me.

"Darius, you overdid it!" The Salad wood elf whose name I never remembered screamed.

"Nonsense, Nucleus! Look at their faces. I say I did just enough."

I face-palmed and continued down the staircase. I would be more than happy to escape anything that could be overheard.

"Wait…" I heard Ruby say. "I know this smell…this is pig urine berry milk!"

I face-palmed again. Damn you, Darius. How dare you assault my town with pig urine milk.

I hurried down the staircase and witnessed something else. Asger was down here, doing something with the ice he was Shouting out of his mouth. There was quite a crowd built up around it, Ysolda near the end of it all.

I couldn't see what was going on, so I tapped Ysolda on the shoulder. She spared a glance at me and smiled. "Oh, hi, Lyds. Came to see Asger's mermaid show?"

"His what?" I asked, stepping in front of her.

Asger was standing in the middle of the crowd, hands glowing with magicka. He spun his hands about, tiny ice figurines of women with dolphin tails dancing above his head. "You see, mermaids were once a part of our large family. They were derived from the Bosmer that moved into Valenwood, back when they were separating from the Altmer and Aldmer. Some of these Bosmer wanted a new life in the ocean, to escape the politics of world. You know… all the take-overs, forced enslavement, that stuff. They used Alteration magic to alter their bodies and soon, it became genetic. We called them Lammer, also called them Lamia. But then we just them Mermaids, because of their Mer blood, pointy ears, and their Altmer-like ability to have all their men resemble females, but the maid part of their name was for their human-aspect of their less jagged face structure, not to mention the fact that all their men still looked like females. They supposedly still exist and watch over us…" He paused and looked into the sky, trying to look dramatic. "I also hear that they are cannibalistic and will eat Bosmer as well as anything that falls into the water. But they are not without mercy. They will sing lovely songs to lure sailors from their ships and to their deaths."

Asger noticed me and winked. He paused his little show and then smiled as he raised his head to the sky. "But…I feel that we are upon times where Mermaids will come back to the world. We are long overdue…_long_ overdue."

Oh great…knowing how our world works…I bet that any…

…

…

No? Ok, guess not. I shrugged and walked up to the still-waiting bard. I patted Asger on his back, knowing that he was hoping for the same random reaction thing that seems to happen to us from time to time. He mentioned mermaids so I could tell that he wanted mermaids to visit us in some fashion. "It's ok, Asger. I think I know what you were trying to do."

He nodded and lowered his hands in defeat. "Yeah…I figured it was a longshot. I've always wanted to meet a Mermaid. I thought talking about them would make one show up."

I shrugged and stepped away. "Well, maybe one will someday." Especially since Asger brought it up. Just like when Ruby mentioned the Bakers Union…they just popped up the next few days. I was sure that mermaids were going to make some sort of grand entrance.

As I stepped away from Asger, he started following me. "Where are you going?"

"Maleek wants to meet me outside Whiterun. He wants to talk to me _privately_ about something." I turned around and halted him with my hand. "I can only guess it is somewhat important for once. And for some reason, he chose me and me _alone_ to talk to him about it." I responded. I mean, what else could it be? Well, it could be just about anything. He may try to kill me, that wasn't above him. He could also just want me to help him mess with Ruby. That wasn't going to happen, but I wouldn't put it above him to try it. Or it could just be that maybe he wanted to bond for some reason. Maybe he wants advice on how to flirt with Ruby. Oh gods no…I sure hoped that wasn't it.

I quickly started making my way to the gate. I didn't want to be stopped for any other reason. I managed to dodge a pie fight and Asger talking about mermaids. Asger stood near Breezehome, still watching me as I left. "Don't let Maleek try to stab you or kill you! Don't forget what happened last time he tried to do so!"

I turned around. "If he does, I'll help stich up his nose again!" With that, I turned around and headed for the gate. Yeah, last time Maleek tried to kill me, he tried throwing a shuriken at me. He was standing pretty close and when that shuriken hit my armor plates, it bounced off and hit him in the nose. He fell to the ground and impaled himself on his hidden dagger hidden in the small of his back. When he rolled over, his leg darts accidentally fired off. Both of his feet had several small darts stuck inside his boot. Because of the darts piercing his feet and going through his boot, we couldn't get the boots off. The darts were not thick enough to pull out either. It was not a very good day for Maleek. He hasn't tried anything since. That was four days ago. I'm sure he's forgotten his lesson already and is planning something new.

I came up to the gate leading out to the stables. The guard watching the gate looked over to me. "Out for a stroll?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'll be back soon."

He nodded and cracked the gate open for me. When I stepped out, he closed the gate behind me. I slowly made my way down the walkway, taking a glance at the fortifications to our main defense system. Uncle Balgruuf decided that since Ruby had created some new armor and swords made from crystals, that she could enhance the castle walls and catapults. He even let her into his private vault that was filled with a lot of rare gems that he'd collected over the years. He always believed that he would need them for something. He really likes gems. Well, with Ruby's crystal engineering, we could now launch bigger boulders, faster, and further than before. Not to mention that our walls could withstand full impacts now. Our walls looked like normal rock walls but I could see the sheen of random rubies or sapphires from time to time. It was pretty now…and shiny. Ruby was currently working on creating a working armor set for our guards. The court wizard Farengar Secret-Fire has just fallen in love with his new test subject, learning the crystal methods of spellcraft.

As I continued walking down the road, I could see Maleek and Babette leaning against the wall to the horse stables. They both looked more or less happily waiting for me to show up. When Babette saw me coming, she nudged Maleek to glance my way. I smiled upon seeing him glance up at me. Babette was probably a foot shorter than Maleek and Maleek was probably a foot shorter than me. It only reminded me that he was still just a child and technically so was Babette. Yet, both of them were the only trained assassins within our group. Sadly, that was true.

Maleek walked up to me, meeting me halfway to the stables. "Lydia, I've been meaning to talk to you about something. It's about Asger."

"Oh?" I asked. I glanced at both Maleek and Babette. "Is this about killing him?"

He nodded. "Yeah…we need to walk for a bit." He pushed me forward and for some reason I had a feeling that this was a very elaborate trap. Oh wait…this was Maleek. Nope, couldn't be that. Then I glanced over to Babette. But…she could have set this up. Wait until I'm gone and then kill Asger for him. I bet she'd do it.

But, I allowed myself to be led away. "Fine. But if Asger dies…I'm killing you."

Maleek only chuckled. Babette started following us from behind. "Actually, cheerleader…it won't come to that. We've both come a conclusion."

"And what is that?" I asked.

Babette crossed her arms and looked away. "As far as we can figure…he _is_ a valid mark for the Dark Brotherhood. But sometimes a mark has to be allowed to live if it means saving the world."

"And if he dies before Alduin can be killed…then the Dark Brotherhood won't last long anyway. Alduin will just return and kill us all anyway." Maleek responded.

"And, let's not forget that Cecilie has been one of my best friends for over 200 years…and could be for longer if we wait until he gets you pregnant with her." Babette concluded.

Maleek nodded. "That much is true. If Asger were to die…a lot of bad stuff would happen as a result. So, Babette and I have concluded that Asger is not going anywhere and as long as we're around him, we can kill him anytime we want to. So, for the good of the Brotherhood and all assassins around Tamriel, we must _not_ kill a mark for once."

We stopped walking by the farmhouses. Babette sighed and nodded to me. "Yup, no more trying to kill Asger from time to time. We don't want Maleek accidently doing it correctly for once."

"Not to mention I don't want to repeat four days ago." Maleek responded, rubbing his still ripped nose.

I sighed a relief. That was good news. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to worry about Maleek getting himself hurt anymore. Not to mention, this had nothing to do with Ruby at all. "Thank the gods you aren't asking me for romantic advice about Ruby."

Both Babette and Maleek paused. Maleek glanced away and rubbed his arm. "Well, that is another reason…"

"Oh come on!" I screamed to him. "What is with you two? Are you enemies or what?"

He shrugged and said, "Meh…whatever I feel like during the heat of the moment. I will admit, she got me good at Host Isle…but…I want to get her back. And if I know what she likes…I can use that against her."

"Then learn how to…" I stopped. No, no, no. I was not getting involved with this. If I told him my suggestion, it would only create more problems for them both.

Babette smiled. She pointed her finger to me and said, "Suggestion: tell Maleek what he wants to know." I light pink magic flowed from her finger, wrapping around my head.

I found myself smiling for some reason. You know what: Maleek was right. It was time he got some revenge on Ruby for what she did to both of us on Host Isle. "Ok. Offer to learn how to use crystal magic. She'll be flattered that you'll finally appreciate her craft and then you can use that against her. It will be funny and devastating."

Maleek nodded. "Thanks, Lydia." Then he turned to Babette. "And thank you for setting all this up."

She nodded back. "Just looking out for my baby brother."

I felt my head clear up. I shook off Babette's spell and screamed, "Maleek, you cannot just go around and mess with people!"

He looked taken aback. "Ruby's not a 'people'. She's a rival." He crossed his arms. "Seriously, it's like you expect her and me to just…be friends or something lame."

I was about to comment but the sudden pounding of footsteps coming from the hill made me lose my track of thought. I could see a guard sprinting his way over to Whiterun. He looked like he was bleeding. I turned to face him and yelled, "Hey! You!"

He paused and glanced over to me. He smiled and made his way over to me. "Oh, Lydia. It's you!" He ran up, but stopped to catch his breath. "It's Riverwood…it's under attack."

"By what?" I asked.

"I don't know. They just jumped out of the water. They were…beautiful and sang with wonderful voices. They ate Sven! And then their leader waved some magical-looking staff above her head and a couple seconds later…a dragon showed up from over the mountain. It's all-out war and we need the guards from Whiterun to help."

I nodded to him and patted him on the shoulder. "My friends and I will go up and assist while you get more backup. Don't worry, we're more than capable of killing a dragon."

He looked uncertain but he nodded. "Uh...ok, whatever. I'll just go get the Jarl then." He placed his hand on my shoulder, nodding to me. "Be careful, Lydia."

"I will…Georgie." I replied back. Yeah, his name was Georgie. He was the quiet kid that never talked to the 'cool' kids, i.e. me and my group. He played with his dog all day and never really replied with us. But he was still 'one of us' though. Somehow…I guess.

I turned to Babette and Maleek. "Ok, guys. We have a small town to go save. You guys ready?"

Babette smiled and crossed her eyes. "I'm always ready." She looked over to Maleek. "You ready, Maleek?"

He nodded as well. "Ready and willing."

"Cicero is…ready as well." I heard the sickening voice squelch from behind me.

I jumped and flew behind Babette, pushing her in front of me. "Oh, you? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the Dark Sanctuary or something?"

Babette sighed and stepped away from me. "Lydia…it's called…" She paused. "wow…she actually knows that we call it a sanctuary…weird." Then she looked over to Cicero. "What are you doing out here? And why are you still lugging around the Night Mother?"

Cicero growled at Babette. "The Un-child better respect the Night Mother. As for why Cicero is still running around…he is lost. Couldn't find the Sanctuary."

Maleek's eyes grew distant. "Hey, guys…do you hear that?"

We all looked at him for a second. I was about to say something to him but his eyes were glued upon the giant coffin standing in Cicero's wagon. "Maleek? What? What do you hear?"

He stepped forward. "Darkness rises when…silence pies?"

I wasn't watching Cicero but I guess I should have. He flew up to Maleek, and I thought that he was going to kill him. So did Babette. She was partially unprepared for it as well. But Cicero scooped up Maleek and threw him into a tight hug. "Oh happy day, happy day. Cicero is finally happy! The Listener has been…revealed." His voice dropped to a less than malevolent tone.

"WHAT?!" Both Babette and I screamed in unison.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Maleek is the LISTENER? Wow...I completely saw that coming.._


	69. Ch 69: Obvious joke about chapter number

**Cearbhail:**_ A new story arc. From the makers of Host Isle and ... other original ideas like crystal armor comes... Mermaid Wars. You'll see soon enough. With only two days before the War council, a war hidden from the eyes of those who live on land will soon be fought... underwater. One man who fucked up will soon have the chance to fix what he caused. And he, and only he, can fix it. They... Are... All... Possibly... DOOMED. Maybe.. but probably not._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Well, um… So… yeah. Four days ago I was asked by Maleek to talk to him. It turns out that he wanted to tell me that he's done trying to kill Asger. Right after that happened, a guard told us that what we believe to be mermaids were invading Riverhold. A dragon may or may not have been involved as well. So, as we began to rush in to find out what was happening…that high-pitched jester returned with his weird coffin thingy. Maleek said something and then Cicero called him the 'Listener'. Some mythical figure that becomes the destined leader of the Dark Brotherhood. Because nothing says assassin like listening to a partially decomposed corpse whisper through the astral realms. It could only become more disgusting if he started carrying around the skull of the corpse and reciting poetry to it._

_Well, the four of us (Babette, Maleek, Cicero, and me) raced up to Riverhold. I saw them…mermaids. And this giant aquatic dragon that I only remember seeing in the Forgotten Pale. As soon as we saw the dragon, we attacked it. Things…happened. Asger and the rest of the gang showed up. More things…happened. I'm not really sure what, it's really hazy. Then the mermaids all started singing. After that, I blacked out. I woke up in a cave with everyone. By everyone, I mean EVERYONE from Riverhold. The guards, the civilians. Not Sven, though. No, he was eaten. Ok, back to this cave. It reminds me of that underground cave with that underground river that we almost drowned in. Yeah, it's the same one. I can see some of the towels we left behind. We're not tied up but we can't really go anywhere. The Falmer guy that was here before is gone. The portal is not open, either, so we're actually trapped here in this stupid cave that more or less leads to the Forgotten Vale._

_Lydia…_

_…_

Four days. That how much time had passed since I had last seen the light of day. Four days. And we're in the same place that we were originally trapped in during our time finding Auriel's Bow. Surprisingly, we didn't have any surprise encounters, but… it gets pretty boring when all you're doing is just sitting around for days upon days with no sun, no nothing.

At least I wasn't alone down in this underground cave. It seems that almost everyone from Riverhold was down here. Well, I'm guessing it's almost everyone. I mean, I know I'm not making any sense but…all of Riverhold is down here…in this hole. I have no idea why. Why, oh why, and how, oh how, did this happen?

But we've been making the most of it, I guess. We have a nice camp all set up. Ruby and Maleek have temporarily put aside their differences to help find a way out of the cave. With no gate guard, we don't know how to get through the empty small temple mirror doorway thingy. So, Ruby and Maleek are doing all that they can to find a way through the temple mirror door. While Maleek pesters her with original ideas, Cicero keeps pulling on Maleek's hand, asking Maleek to ask _his _questions to the Night Mother, so that he may finally get her to answer him. Actually, I find it kinda cute, but Maleek is totally put off by talking to a rotting corpse. Having to touch it to get the best results is a little…much too. Not to mention kissing it to receive advice on contracts. Don't get me started on seeing Maleek having to kiss that thing. _Yuck_.

Asger spent most of the time training Ria and Cecilie in how to use their Shouts. He was actually hosting a Dragonborn Theory class. Him…teaching…theory. No, I don't believe it and I've seen it for at least three consecutive days. Ria is finally starting to understand Shouting, even if it's just a small puff of air. After all, she hasn't seen any words of knowledge…or whatever they're called. That didn't really matter, though. Asger was more teaching her how to contain dragon souls at the moment, but he was teaching Cecilie more about using the ones she currently holds: Fire, Force, Control Weather, and some sort of Whispering Shout.

The residents of Riverhold were doing stuff too. Everyone was trying to go about their day like it was normal. Alvor was busy repairing every guard's weapon and set of armor. His wife was busy trying to clean the cave… Don't ask me why. She really hates dirt. Dorthe, that girl that owns a crystal sword, is receiving more training from Ruby on how to use it more properly. Ruby was actually happy to see her. I thought she'd still have a bit of a grudge for having all her crystals stolen from her just to make three swords. But Ruby doesn't believe in wasting crystals. So, she was more than happy to teach her how to use it.

Babette is hanging around Cicero and Maleek. She almost had a fangirl moment when she heard Maleek taking to a non-responsive corpse, but then she hid it by smacking Maleek as hard as could on his back, saying, "Man up. Don't let your mummy tell you what to do.."

Man… Cicero lost it when she said that. He went on some rant about responsibility and the Night Mother. It turned to a whole conversation that involved Cicero, Maleek, the Night Mother (I'm guessing), and Babette. The four of them went back and forth about just on what it meant for Maleek to be the Listener. I think the Night Mother won, though. After all, one word from the Night Mother (coming from Maleek's mouth) would just shut him up. And that one word was, "Silence."

That pretty much kept Cicero silent for a while, while Maleek continued to tell him exactly what the Night Mother was saying to him. I dared not go anywhere near them while they chatted. Last thing I needed was the Night Mother saying my name. Gods forbid that happens.

There were two new additions that were not originally within our team and were not residents of Riverhold: the Old Man (My uncle), and Farengar (the court wizard in Whiterun). Old Man followed Asger down here to help out with repelling the dragon attack. Farengar came along (without the Jarl's permission, mind you) to study said dragon. Both of them were attending the daily Dragonborn classes for various reasons. Old Man wanted to watch the Dragonborns train and Farengar wanted to study what made them special. He believes that he can isolate the Dragonborn gene and use it to make more Dragonborns. Yeah, right. As if we could actually 'create' Dragonborns by taking their special blood and giving it to others. For some reason, I felt a shadow pass over my shoulder. Huh, must be just my imagination.

Me? What was I doing? Well, I was sharpening my sword while glancing around the camp. My katana is just so banged up that I had to take a few minutes so that I can actually cut a dragon if I run into one. And let's not forget my armor. I'm back in steel-plated armor. So, I'm back in what I was wearing before I met Asger. My Blades armor is just ruined beyond repair now. And I don't have a spare yet. So, until I can get back to the hidden Blades base, I am currently stuck in my old armor that I had Ruby store away in her bag. My armor is hugging my hips a little tighter than they used to. I may be in denial but…I think I'm getting fat.

"Lydia." I heard Maleek call from behind. I sighed as I placed my sharpening stone and turned around to face Maleek. He was dressed in his custom assassin armor. He looked happy. "I have great news."

"Ok?" I said. "What is it?"

"I've been talking to the Night Mother. No one did a Black Sacrament for Asger's death. He is _not_ a valid hit at all. Whoever validated the contract was done by passable means. Meaning, our Speaker is not doing her job the right way. Most likely, she was heavily paid off to pass the assassination along. So…" Maleek smiled. "Asger's off the hook."

"And that's not all." Babette called from behind my turned head. I snapped my head around back to my front to see Babette also smiling. "The Night Mother has called for justice to be called for corrupting assassination targets. The Speaker must die and so must the person calling the hit."

"Wow…honor among assassins. Who would have guessed it would lead to more bloodshed." I said, deadpanned. But, if the person who called the hit was killed, all the better. It would get rid of someone trying to kill my Thane. That's always a plus. "So, I guess you know who the Speaker is, but…who called the hit?"

Maleek cleared his throat. "Um…you might not like it." His eyes were a little saddened and for some reason, I just knew it was someone that we all knew.

I sighed. "Ok, who called the hit?" Whoever it was, we could talk it out. And if it wasn't revocable, then I guess we'd have to take action against said person.

That's when the water from the river exploded. Everyone who owned a sword was now unsheathing them and looking to the river. I had to turn my attention away from Babette and Maleek. I looked to the river. Heads were poking out. Very attractive-looking heads. Most of them were female, but some of them looked male-ish. All of them had pointy elven ears and dark blue wavy hair. Their skin was slightly blue and their eyes were almost black and wide. Mermaids. Lammer. Lamia. Merfolk. Fish people. Sea cows, only skinny. So many names and those were the only ones off the top of my head. I should ask Asger, he'd have more.

"Mermaids, Lammer, Lamia, Fishy people, Sea Mammoths, Merfolk…" Asger was saying to himself as he walked up. "I could go on… but…aww…" His eyes pretty much exploded out of his head and he charged forward, both arms spread out in a welcome hug. "Take me with you!" He screamed to the Lammer as he charged off toward the river.

"Paralyze!" Babette screamed. A small ball of green magic flew off her hand, colliding with Asger. He stopped near the edge of the river, where the Lammer started gathering around him.

I walked up and grabbed Asger. I started pulling him away, saying, "Thane…that is not a wise idea. Lammer do eat people, you know."

"Hey!" One of the female Lammer screamed. "We only ate that loud mouth that tried to fry us." He voice was light and airy but had a watery quality to it, like she was talking underwater.

Alvor walked up to the Lammer female. He crossed his arms and said, "You attacked us."

"That tubby human attacked us first!" The female yelled back.

"He sang a poetic verse to you!" Alvor replied back.

"And it hurt our ears." The female Lammer screamed back with her light voice. "We did him a service. Now he can no longer hurt us with his voice."

Asger's paralyzation wore off and he fell forward, landing only inches away from the female Lammer. He paused for a second before smiling like an idiot. "Hi."

"Hello, Dovahkiin." The Lammer said. "My name is Anyanava. You may call me Yana for short. I am the Clan Mother of White Water Foams. We have brought you all to our homes to help us."

Asger pointed to himself. "So…why do you need our help?"

"We have lived in peace for centuries with not only your kind but the eight-limbed crab creatures as well. But you have upset the balance of our homeland. When you traveled here, you attacked a mime. That mime was our protector that watched over us, given to us by the god of chaos and bardic humor. When you killed him, you took away our only protector to save us from being invaded by the clawed eight-limbed ones, who serve the god of crab people and penny pinching. They were also living in peace until the sun vanished. When the sun vanished, the waters of both our regions cooled pretty quickly. The eight-limbed ones need warm water for they are cold-blooded. They were forced to leave their frigid waters and headed for warmer ones…ours. The two of us are not allies and when they saw our settlement, it began a war of territory and warm living spaces. When the sun returned, they almost returned to their waters as well. But then they noticed our protector was gone. They have been invading our homelands one bit at a time. We are not the warriors that we used to be, while the eight-limbed ones have many magics and natural armors that our pikes are incapable to piercing. The only thing we have is our Dovah ally, Okaazstrunzii, and even he is useless against the hordes of enemies. So now, we ask you to right your mistake by helping us drive the eight-limbed ones back to their caves in the land of ashes and volcanoes." Yana stated.

Asger smiled even deeper. "I get a chance to help the Lamia fight some other form of Lamia?" He squealed with joy. "This is the best day ever!"

I crossed my arms. This was a Clan Mother? She looked like a teenager. "Are you even old enough to be a Clan Mother?"

She looked up at me with her wide black eyes. I could see a small circle of white. Those must have been her irises. "My Mother was the Clan Mother. When the eight-limbed ones invaded, she was killed. I was forced to take her spot, since it is my role to do so." Yana brushed her dark blue hair away from her eyes and looked away. "I…I am not ready for this type of situation. I am still unworthy of my throne, still too young to lead." She looked up at Asger. "That is why I came to you. You killed our protector, you are strong. We ask of you to help us in exchange of anything you wish from us."

Asger stuck his hand out. "Ok, then. We will help you, but in exchange, you'll become our allies. You'll help us out in our war and…as a bonus…reestablish yourself among our races. No more hiding."

Anyanava glanced down at his hand and then back up at him. "I agree with your compromise. But I do not understand…why is your hand out? Am I to eat it?"

Asger smiled and chuckled. "Oh man…I love you guys already." He looked back to me and said, "Lydia…can we keep her?"

Anyanava tilted her head to the side. "The way you speak of me…it is as if I am perhaps a dolphin, an animal companion of sorts. Am I to behave like one?"

I face-palmed and turned to her. "No, you're not a pet." Then I looked over to Asger. "She can't even get out of water, how can she even come with us? In fact, how can we even help them fight these 'eight-limbed ones'?"

Maleek stepped forward. "Vampires don't need to breathe."

"Speak for yourself!" Babette screamed. "I _need_ air, you doofus."

Maleek spread his arms out apologetically. "Ok, sorry. I thought being dead meant no heart-beat. That means no air running through your body, or blood flowing, or anything really."

Babette shook her head. "No, we still have beating hearts. That's why we need spiked through the _heart_ with a wooden stake in order to die. And we drink blood because our bodies' ability to reproduce blood is pretty much gone. So we need to replenish it from now and again." She crossed her arms and looked away. "I mean seriously. It's not like we have crystal-hard skin that sparkles in the light, psychic abilities, or get orgasms from people's scent. We do sleep, have flowing blood, and catch fire from sunlight exposure from time to time. Oh, and I still use the bathroom too."

Maleek rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Ok, sorry." He pulled her in for a hug. "Relax, Babette. I did not mean to insult you."

Babette only looked away. "It's ok, little brother. I did not mean to get testy about it. I just hate all these people wanting to become vampires all the sudden. It's not the 'gift' they believe it to be. Last time I ate something without blood in it, I threw it back up because my stomach isn't technically 'alive' anymore. Good news though, blood lite is healthy enough that I'm not gaining weight."

Ruby walked up with Dorthe behind her. "I believe I may have a solution to our breathing underwater problem."

Everyone turned to face her. She smiled as she pulled out blue necklaces. "Aquamarine enchanted necklaces. Enchanted with both crystal and normal magic with Water Breathing."

Farengar ran up next to Ruby. He paused to examine the necklace. "Indeed, these are strong enchantments. Should hold strong for months at least. Do we have enough for everyone?"

Ruby shook her head. "No, only five of us."

Asger looked around. "So… the real question is: who am I taking with me?"

Farengar stuck his hand up. "I would very much like to see the culture behind the Lamia and maybe collect data on both these eight-limbed ones and perhaps their culture as well."

Asger nodded. "Ok, you're in. Who's next?" He pointed to me. "Lydia? Ok. So, that's three. Only two more."

"Two more and me, you mean." Maleek said. "I can breathe and fight underwater better than any of you. I'm not clumsy when I'm in my element."

"And I'm a mage, father. I can enchant my own gear." Cecilie said.

Ruby raised her paw. "And since these are my crystals, I'm coming along as well." She said while glancing over at Maleek. I bet she was coming just so that she could fight alongside Maleek.

Asger looked around the campfire. "One left. Who is it going to be?" He started pointing his finger around the campfire. "Aaannd.." His finger came to a stop on Fiirnar. "Fiirnar."

He bowed graciously, saying, "Thank you for the opportunity to come along."

Good, we had our team. Although I really did not want to be involved. I guess I had to go along otherwise I'd miss writing about it in my journal.

Asger smiled as he looked over at Anyanava. "Ok, we're coming with you. We'll see if we can settle this peacefully. If not, well…we'll do what we must."

Yana smiled. "Thank you, Dovahkiin. We welcome you as honored guests of the White Water Foams clan."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: The name Anyanava was selected by my friend Druid. She gave me the idea of this story arc so I gave her the honor of naming the first mermaid. Just in case someone wanted to know._


	70. Ch 70: Sheogalinda conspiracy

**Cearbhail:**_ The party has begun their quest. Maleek and Ruby are acting nice to each other for once, Esbern gets a word in, and more stuff happens. Yay._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Once again, I am happy I sprung the extra 100 gold pieces for the waterproof journal and waterproof ink. Being able to write in you while underwater is the highlight of any day. Oh journal, you're the only one who really understands me. With how long I've been with Asger, whether as his girlfriend or fiancé, we really haven't had much time for romance of any sort. His big mission to save the world from the Thalmor, Alduin, and pretty much any inconvenient threat of the minute is getting in our way. Oh well, once his role in our plight is over, maybe we can have a few minutes to ourselves._

_So, according to Anyanava, we weren't held up for four days, only twelve hours. They knocked us out and transported us across Tamriel in the mouth of a whale. They did this because the eight-limbed ones were moving in onto Riverwood. They were afraid that the settlement would be attacked. The eight-limbed ones have an army of smaller pets that can come on shore. The lesser eight-limbed ones. Anyway, Anyanava has taken us to one of their settlements near the border of the eight-limbed ones. This settlement was the first to be hit. After we repel the next wave of attackers, we're moving in on their territory and driving them back. Should be easy enough. Just like the time we took the fort from the Stormcloaks._

_Well, we're almost there. I should go now._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"My question was perfectly valid. One does not present his hand to a carnivore and expect it to not nimble a little, if not only to taste what blood it has." Anyanava said to Asger as she drifted ahead of us.

Asger chuckled to Anyanava and smiled. "Well, I should have explained what a handshake is first." He said while clutching his freshly healed hand. "I forget your culture and ours is not the same."

"Hand…shake?" Anyanava asked while gazing toward him with wide eyes. "Does this involve making bubbles? Why waste time shaking the hand when one can easily blow air about one's blowhole?" Anyanava asked innocently to Asger, who, surprisingly impossibly, was laughing underwater. I don't care if we were able to breath underwater, laughing audibly seems just…impossible. Talking too. I mean, how the heck are we actually talking right now?

Ruby was swimming next to me, laughing to Anyanava as well. "Blowhole? We don't have blowholes."

Anyanava looked back at her in surprise. "Then…how do you dispose of unwanted body material?"

We all paused for a second before Fiirnar swam up to her, his eyes curious. "Where…exactly is your blowhole anyway?"

She pointed down toward her tail. "It is impossible to see now, but when I need to get rid of body waste, a hole opens up and pushes the unwanted stuff out. Sometimes air that gets trapped inside me while breathing your 'air' needs to come out as well. It really smells bad."

We all paused again before Ruby busted up, screaming, "She thinks a blowhole is her butt!"

"But what?" Anyanava responded, tilting her head, eyes curious. "I do not understand, you did not continue your statement."

Asger threw his arm over her shoulder and he shook his head in amusement. "You are so…innocent. I'm sorry you're with us but…it's probably for the best." He patted her on the head. "It's official, you're staying with us now."

Anyanava seemed even more confused now but she blinked her eyes to him. "If partners we are to be, I shall have to greet you as all Lammer do." She reached up to Asger and pulled him in. I was about to interrupt her (since it looked like she was about to kiss him), but then she rested her forehead on his and rocked their heads left and right a few times. She pulled Asger's head away from hers, saying, "Your head is not rounded like ours. Is it too much to ask…how do you greet one another?"

Asger looked over to me, his eyes questioning. I already knew what he was going to ask. "Lydia…please?"

I rolled my eyes and turned myself around. "Ok, fine! I don't care. Do your bardic duty to woe her."

I didn't watch what happened next. All I heard was, "I do not understand, what is the purpose of this? In what fashion is this a greeting?"

Asger started saying, "Well, in most cultures is a form of a greeting for loved ones, some cultures use it as just a greeting. Now, stick your hand out, I'm going to show you what a hand-shake is, a warrior forearm grab, as well a hug."

"Hugs? We have hugs." Anyanava stated back. "But how do you hug? You have no tails or long tongues."

I face-palmed (which was dramatically slowed because of how deep underwater I was). I continued to glare out at the expanding dark blue while Ager and the others all started teaching each other ways that they greet each other. I think at one time Ruby kissed Maleek to show Yana how much emotion was involved in intimate gestures and how those gestures could be embarrassing or troublesome. I think Yana understood because she floated over to me and threw me into a weird hug, wrapping her tail over my legs and pulling me close, rubbing her tongue on my neck. … It was very weird and sent chills down my back. She openly apologized for kissing my 'mate', since such an intimate thing should not be shared so lightly.

After we were done with the love-fest, we started swimming through the water again. Anyanava kept up front with Maleek beside her. I had to admit, he looked like he belonged underwater. The way he kept up with her was amazing, as was his sudden maturity overnight. Ever since we had our little chat about keeping Asger alive and then meeting the Night Mother and finding out he was the Listener, he had really matured. He still tried to avoid Ruby and he still started crap with her, but it seemed…forced, almost like he didn't want to anymore. It was hard to know what was going on in his head.

I looked over to Ruby and saw that she was trying her best to keep up with Maleek but just couldn't keep up. She sucked at swimming. It was so bad that Maleek actually let her just hold onto his tail as he pulled her along. Ah…young love. Well…complicated love-hate love at least.

Cecilie didn't come with us. As soon as she stepped into the water, she freaked out and ran back up on shore. Something about water makes her blind and she hates not being able to see. I guess water disrupts her third eye or something. She waved goodbye to us and stayed with the others. I was sad that she couldn't join us, but I wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable either. Not to mention being blind in the middle of a battlefield is dangerous.

As we started getting closer to our destination, I heard Farengar ask, "So, how do plan on fighting these eight-limbed ones? What type of weapons do you have?"

Anyanava looked back at him without breaking her stride. "We use our pikes. It is…how do you call them…long skinny rods with sharp points. Only work with straight thrusts. We tried to use your long shiny cutters but…they were too slow. We made our own faster weapons."

Farengar pointed to her back, to the obvious staff on her back. "What is that then?"

Anyanava pulled her staff off her back and showed it to him. "It is our draiour, a source of our inner magics. It helps me to summon unnormal amounts of magic non-existent inside my body."

Farengar looked like a boy on Dovahday. "Can I see it?" When he took it from her, he started studying it. "It's not like unlike our staffs, yet…it has a different feel to it. Not enchanted, but…it seems to focus and duplicate one's own magic."

Ruby swam up to it next and ran her hand across it. "There's quartz inside it, I can feel it. She's using crystal resonance to fortify her magicka." She handed the staff back over to Yana and swam over to Maleek, grabbing onto his tail again.

Yana pointed her arm out to the structures that were coming into our vision. "We are almost there now. The town Croi'baleitur Oighear'borg is right down there. In your tongue it would be translated as White-Crystal Ice-Village."

Farengar didn't wait and started swimming as fast as he could. "Oh my, I can't wait to study your village. May I start with the chapel?"

Yana did that thing where she tilted her head to the side. "Chapel? I do not understand what this…chapel is."

Farengar sighed as he started explaining. "It is a sacred building dedicated to serving and praying to one's deity. I am guessing you serve the god of bardic humor and chaos, as you mentioned earlier."

Anyanava nodded, now understanding. "Ah yes, Sheogalinda, our Lammer god of chaos and known bardic humor. It is said that she has red skin and purple scales on her tail. She likes cheese, a sort of…food that exists on land but is consumed by a creature of the water. Chaos is her domain and whether or not we know how she thinks, she exists in two modes of thought: mania and dementia. She protected us during our transition from elves to Merfolk. She liked the idea of fish-elves so she provided us with protectors, the Aureani and the Mazkana. Both of which have not appeared to us in 200 complete cycles."

"But where is your chapel? Your place of worship?" Farengar asked.

"I will have Okaazstrunzii show you to our dia'hus." She stuck out her draiour and shouted, "Tar'hitta, Okaazstrunzii!" The tip of her staff started glowing and I could clearly see the quartz embedded into the staff itself. Runes all along the staff started to glow as well. The staff stopped glowing and she turned to face Farengar. "Beware, though. Do not mess with our shrine. If you do, Aureanis or Mazkanas might attack you. They are servants of Sheogalinda and will not tolerate trespassers."

Farengar nodded to her, saying, "I will be respectful. I wish only to study your culture."

The dragon I noticed earlier in Riverwood appeared out of nowhere, moving like a blur through the water. He spun around us a few times before stopping by Anyanava. "You summoned me, Clan Mother?" He looked over us. "I see you recruited a small army. Do you believe they can help? The eight-limbed ones are much too strong for me…what makes you think they can handle them?"

Asger pointed to himself and said, "I'm Dragonborn."

Okaazstrunzii looked over to Asger. "I know that, Dovahkiin. Who do you think told Clan Mother about your existence, or of your role in our world, or how to find you? Do you think it was by random chance we stumbled upon you in Riverwood? No, I tracked you, called her, and then ambushed you. Were it not for me, the Lammer would be dead by now. And if it were not for you…everyone would still be at peace."

Anyanava petted Okaazstrunzii on his elongated nose, trying to calm him down. "Cuinaigh, Okaazstrunzii. They are protectors now. Besides, I think they can help us build an army."

Asger nodded. "Yes, we will do whatever it takes to help you. What do you need?"

"Cheese." Anyanava stated. "For too long Sheogalinda has been silent to us. She used to protect us but…I have never seen her appear to us. It is as if she had abandoned us 200 complete cycles ago. I believe if we appease our god, she might take pity on us and bring to us her own soldiers. If she does that, we might have the beginnings of an army."

Ruby smiled. "Great, my bag has plenty of cheese."

Okaazstrunzii stuck out his massive wings. "Everyone grab on. We'll go to the temple built for Sheogalinda. From there, we will see about summoning her to hear our case."

…

"Wonderful, these arches seem to derive from the old Aldmer designs used in their Aedra chapels. It seems weird that they would be used for a temple dedicated to a Daedra Lord, but…I guess that would be the chaotic and nonsense thing to do." Farengar said as he studied the doorway into the temple.

I crossed my arms and scoffed (still weirds me out that I can do that down here). "What makes you think this god of theirs is a Daedra?"

Farengar looked back at me like I was stupid. "You really don't get it, do you?" He turned to face me. "Lydia…this is clearly…"

Asger pushed him away, saying, "No, I know someone who would love to explain this." He stuck out his hand. It started glowing with magic and suddenly, an image of Esbern appeared in Asger's hand.

"Boy, you better have a good reason to interrupt me during Brelyna's bath!" Esbern said to Asger, looking down at some image in his own hand.

"What? You're watching me?!" I heard Brelyna cry. Then I heard her running away. "Stay away from me, you perv!"

Esbern sighed. "Ok, boy. Make this quick. It's well past my bedtime."

Asger took a deep breath. "We stumbled upon the ancient Lammer, also known as Lamia, also known as Merfolk. Our current Clan Mother has told us that their god is the Lammer God of Chaos and Bardic Humor. She is a Lammer with red skin, a purple tail, and is named Sheogalinda. She exists in Mania and Dementia, loves cheese, has servants called Aureani and Mazkana, and has stopped serving listening to the prayers of the Lammer 200 years ago. Lydia needs explaining why Sheogalinda is really a Daedra Lord. And….go."

Esbern stood there, rubbing his chin. "Ah, right." He turned to face me. "Did I tell you about the chickens and the hunters?"

"Oh dear sweet Talos…do not start with that." I mumbled under my breath.

"Well, it was around the time that hunters started hunting chickens. It was at this time that the elves decided to leave their island, and around the time Nords began decorating eggs to represent the rise of the Dragonborn."

"What does this have to do with Daedric Lords?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just never explained how it matters." Esbern shrugged. "Anyway, 200 years ago, this old Imperial named Phil one day started hearing voices in his head. He worked in accounting so he thought he was about to go courier. You know what courier is, right? It's a common expression for when someone goes insane and starts killing people. You know, because couriers are always crazy people who eventually snap and go on killing sprees."

"Esbern…" I started rubbing the bridge of my nose. Oh dear sweet Talos, please keep him on track for once. "Daedra Lord."

"Oh, right. So the hunters started hunting chickens…"

"NO! Later. Phil from accounting." I screamed to his image.

"Right. He got voices in his head, started thinking he was going to go courier. You know, crazy-like? Anyway, he left his office and tried to escape the voices, but he eventually found himself at this island with a giant doorway leading to the Shivering Isles, the domain of the Daedric Lord of Madness: Sheogorath. That was 200+ years ago. My theory is that this Phil from accounting was the person to overthrow the original Sheogorath and took his throne. When he did, he might not have known about the original Sheogorath's service to the Lammer and hence stopped listening to their pleas and prayers. Going crazy fills you with enough madness, imagine the cries of people who don't know exist. He probably thought they were a figment of his own dementia."

I nodded. "Ok, so the reason Sheogalinda…a girl-fish stopped sending her soldiers is because one girl-fish fried another girl-fish."

"As is part of their tradition of cannibalism, being descendants of Bosmer, yes." Asger said. He looked down at Esbern and said, "Thanks for helping, old man."

"Well, thank you for getting rid of the only chance I had to see Brelyna naked." Esbern mumbled.

The image faded away and Asger smiled. "I wonder what he'll do when he finally does see her."

"Probably have a heart attack and die." I said. "Ok, so where's the cheese? And please tell me that this ritual does not involve cutting the cheese. I know that the comment is utterly random and hints to so much but…I…actually, I bet that's what we have to do. We have to cut the cheese and maybe have to squeeze a lemon. Just watch." Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but…come on. This is Sheogorath we're talking about.

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: So, next chapter should be more entertaining._


	71. Ch 71: Where's Julianos when we need him

**Cearbhail:**_ Finally, this chapter is entertaining. And I'm not even done yet. I still have more chapters to fill in. I should have more done before the end of the day. It's a brave new world that we've been allowed to exist in. Sheogorath must have been working with the Mayans._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The last few hours have been…something. I found out that the Lammer god is actually a form of Sheogorath, the Madman of the Daedric Lords. Then we met Okaazstrunzii, the dragon that's allied with the Lammer. It seems that the Clan Mother from a few generations ago saved Okaazstrunzii from being trapped under a massive rock. It appears that he was trapped there for a few thousand years (ever since the original war with Alduin). He pledged his undying loyalty (literally) to their clan._

_We've been in the chapel for a couple hours now, just trying to use this statue of this freaky fish-person to contact the Lammer god Sheogalinda. We've had no luck so far, but we know it involves cheese. Our newest companion, Anyanava, is scratching her slightly bulbous head in confusion as we try to figure it out. She has no idea what to do, only that the original ritual involves cheese. I sure hope we think of something soon, otherwise we're on our own._

_Lydia…_

_…._

We all tried out best to sit down on the pew. It seemed like a chaotic nonsense thing to do when you're underwater. Why were there pews anyway? And, no, before you say anything, these pews were not on the ground, they were on the ceiling. The ceiling was on the ground. Since Lammer float up, they thought it was easier to float to their seats instead of fighting to stay seated on the ground. But once they developed tails, they had no more use for the pews and just floated in the middle while praising their one and only God. Well, one of three gods. They had the God of the Ocean, and the god of the moon too. But they seriously doubt either of them would help out. Both of which already said that the Moon God dropped the ball and the Ocean fucked up as well. Now both Deities were fighting with each other. We could actually hear them from inside this room. I've never heard Gods fight before. It was something.

"You disappeared! This is all your fault!" The Ocean God (feminine, by the way) screamed from nowhere in general, but all around us.

"I did not plan to go away. I am Akatria, first Lammer God to become to a dragon that became the moon that pulls and pushes the Ocean Sprit. I am the Alpha and the Pure Awesome. Everyone praises me as the best God of all. Besides, that was my Twin Brother Akatosh's sun that vanished, not my moon. He fucked up, not me." Akatria screamed from nowhere at all. "Besides, who decided to cool themselves and blow in warm water from the Lammer settlements anyway?"

"I WHAT? I…I did not…" She said unconvincingly. "Ok, maybe I did, but I have a duty to all who live in the ocean. They needed to live, they needed warmth! Besides, you're not the Alpha and pure awesome. You're the forgotten little brother to the sun. You have less worshipers than a crazy destructive demon lord that wants nothing more than to undo creation!"

"What? I have an entire race of talking cats that only give birth according to my astral calendar. I have changed lives. What would this world be like without tidal waves and Khajiits?"

"A lot less chaotic and filled with less drug addicts." The feminine voice responded.

"I refuse to believe that. But, I will say that you did your job, I did mine. So, whose fault is this really?" Akatria asked. "Someone fucked up here. Someone did something that fucked us both up."

"Akatosh." They both said in unison, deadpanned, too. I could tell. I talk enough like that on my best day.

"What? Why am I to blame?" A new loud and unmistakably godly voice filled our chapel.

I face-palmed and sat back, staring up at the floor while the invisible gods fought all around us. "Can they at least materialize so we don't sit here and listen to voices all day?" I asked out loud. I was hoping the voices would stop.

There was an awkward silence before I saw three bright balls of light. I closed my eyes in time, but Ruby didn't. "My eyes, my poor darkness-adjusted eyes!" Sorry, Ruby. I did not expect this to happen.

Standing near the statue of Sheogalinda were a human-sized bright yellow flaming dragon-thingy. Standing opposite of him was a silvery metallic-looking dragon-thingy. Standing next to him was…a whirlpool with bubble eyes. Yeah…godly.

"This is all your fault, brother!" The metallic dragon said while moving his mouth to make it look like he was talking.

The flaming dragon looked back at him. "Bitch, please. I'm Akatosh, the greatest deity of this world. I have an entire world of worshipers, all accepting me in one way or another. I'm one of the Nine, for Heaven's sake. What about you? Who worships you? You have a bunch of smelly cats worshipping you…and that's only after they take a hit of a narcotic drug!" The flaming dragon looked away. "Face it, brother. You're only second place, the…silver cup. While I'm gold. Look at our avatars. I'm a fucking flaming dragon, golden as the day's sun. You…you're silver. Second place, not quite as good, not quite as godly."

"What, I'm godly." The silver dragon stated. He looked over at Ruby and said, "You…Khajiit. Come bow to your deity, Azurah!"

Ruby scratched her head curiously before laughing in embarrassment. "Yeah…about that." She looked away. "I'm not like other Khajiits. I don't pray to the moons."

Akatosh busted up, laughing. "You hear that? One of your precious flock doesn't even acknowledge you in avatar." Akatosh crossed his wings and said, "Besides, are you just borrowing that demon slut Azura's name?"

"Silence." Akatria said. "I was trying to get some love." He looked over to the Ocean Spirit and said, "What about you Aquarius? You've been very silent."

Her bubbles moved over to him. "Hmm? I'm sorry, I was busy sending some rain clouds over to Elsweyr for dissing you. I feel they deserve some rain for becoming so bold." Her bubbles shifted over to Ruby. "Thank you, little one. I was hoping one of you would put him in his place. All he does and push me down and then pull me up so that he can push me down again. He's such a tool. For doing putting him down like that, I'm going to fill your lakes for once. Help you grow your crops for a while. It's not like he actually affects your birthrate in any fashion, so there won't be any retaliation."

Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "Um…thanks?"

"Well, maybe I'll just disappear for a while and keep them from reproducing!" Akatria said in response.

Akatosh rolled his giant flaming eyes. "Don't be that god, Akatria. Be like Aquarius, just…go with the flow."

"I already do that. It's not like my moons are crashing into anything. All the do is flow…in Nirni's atmosphere."

A third avatar appeared. This one looked like a collection of rocks and lava. "Did someone say something about me behind my back?"

I face-palmed. Oh dear sweet Talos…please make it stop.

"STOP THIS POINTLESS BABBLE!" A new strong burly voice called. A strong beam of light appeared from the sky. I looked up at the ceiling to see a group of pure white horses come flying through. The horses were attached to a carriage that was carrying what appeared to be perhaps…Talos. When the carriage came to a stop, he looked over to Nirni and said, "Someone has prayed to me. She wishes me to make you stop this arguing…Oh, hi, Nirni. It's been a while."

"Welcome, son. How goes the being ostracized by everyone?" Nirni said, almost sarcastic. Man, I love this new god.

Talos shrugged. "Well…I never asked to be worshipped in the first place, and to see people kill other people over my name and because of it…it breaks my heart. That is not what I fought and died for." He rubbed the back of his helmeted head. "But I am the God of War so…more power to them. I gave Ulfric my blessing long ago. And to balance the world, I returned Dragonborns to the world. So…it should balance out eventually." He shrugged. "Hell, I don't know."

"WHAT IS GOING ON? WHO KEEPS SCREAMING IN MY EAR WHILE I AM TRYING TO EAT?" A loud overly high-pitched masculine voice called from the statue.

Everyone paused, even the gods as we all looked to the statue. The statue started glowing and was suddenly engulfed in light. The light pulled away and started to form into a Lammer. When the light faded, I could see a tall…Lammer: red-skinned, purple-tailed, pointy ears, carrying some sort of cane/staff, graying hair, and with a mustache, by the way.

The Lammer God paused as she looked around the group. Then she looked down at herself and flicked her tail up. "WHY AM I A FREAKY FISH-MER? Better yet…why am I _NOT_ a freaky fish-mer? Wait a second…am I a woman?" She said, grabbing her breasts. "When did this happen? I knew I should not have taken that bet with Sanguine over who could drink the most pig wine in one hour."

I looked around to Anyanava and Asger. Asger, as per usual, was rolling around in the water, laughing his ass off. Anyanava floated beside me, her eyes glued on Sheogalinda. "She is real…I had my doubts, but…our protector is here, with us." She turned to me, wrapping me up in her arms, pulling me close. "It worked, she is back with us."

"Not yet." I said to her. "You have to convince her to help you. This one replaced your previous Sheogalinda. You need to tell her about your previous lady's promise."

Anyanava shook her hand and took off to talk to speak to the floating Lammer God that was still playing with her breasts. The Lammer God watched as Anyanava approached her. "What do we have here, a freaky fish-mer? A capital idea. I wonder what would happen if we reversed this form? Put the fish head on top and the human part on bottom?"

Akatria stuck his metallic wing out in front of Sheogalinda. "No, let's not find out. The Lammer are under our protection, Sheogalinda. We do not mess with them."

Sheogalinda rubbed the top of her head. "You don't know me very well." Then she looked down at herself. "Apparently, neither do I. Have I always been a woman?"

Anyanava stopped in front of Sheogalinda and grabbed onto her hands. "Sheogalinda, I am Clan Mother Anyanava for the White Water Foams clan."

"There is that name again: Sheogalinda. Have I always been named that? I'm so CONFUSED. I LOVE IT!" Sheogalinda screamed loud enough to make my eardrums burn. "And you…mortal. You hold are holding the hands of a God! Do you know what I could do to you for grabbing onto my royal palms? I could pull your intestines out through your blowhole and make you eat them. But that would be too nice. Instead, for punishment, I will make you eat CHEESE!"

Cheese materialized in Anyanava's mouth. She paused for a second and started chewing the cheese that had formed. When she swallowed, she said, "That was very tasty. Thank you, Sheogalinda."

"That is not a punishment!" Akatosh said. "If you wish to punish her, you should…"

Akatria stuck his metallic wing, saying, "Hush, brother. I've been involved with Sheogalinda before. Trust me, you don't want to push him. He will…do things that will mentally scar you forever. Look at the moon sometime. I said something rational and he sent exploding chickens up there. I didn't have something as easy a meteors falling into my domain. No, I had exploding chickens, flaming dogs raining from the sky, and then…then…he turned my moon into cheese." He shook his head. "We don't want him to do anything to your sun. What if he turned it green or something? Or made it into ice?"

Talos pushed Akatria away. "Do not insult the mighty Akatosh. No god can take the sun away. Not a damn one!"

Akatosh looked away. "Yeah…about that, Talos…a vampire lord corrupted my bow and used it to shoot my eye out."

Talos half-choked/half-chuckled. "What? The mighty Akatosh, first god…the God of Time…was bested by a vampire upstart? And by his own holy weapon? Don't we have fail-safes for such incidents?"

Akatosh looked away. "Look…I know I should have done something about it…but I was sure that it would work out for the better. And it did…"

"Until my family was attacked." Anyanava said.

Akatosh looked over to her. "And again…I am sorry."

Sheogalinda looked over at them. "Turning the sun into a ball of ice. What a splendid idea. Sadly, a self-creating ball of fire that exists without any air is crazy enough for me, I let it stay that way so I can laugh at the impossibility and the madness behind it." She turned his attention back to Anyanava, who was still holding onto her hands. "And you, freaky fish-mer. What were you saying?"

"I know that you may not know me, or my culture, but…we've praised the previous Sheogalinda, the Lammer God of Chaos and bardic humor. She protected us during our transition to Merfolk, keeping us safe from the eight-limbed ones." Anyanava said. "The eight-limbed ones are trying to kill us, and I fear that they will. I ask of you to help us fight them. You used to give us golden and dark-skinned Lammer with strong magics and weapons. You called them the Aureani and the Mazkana. I would ask you to please raise us an army of them so that we can fight for our land."

Sheogalinda stood there for a second before saying, "Why should I? Then again, why shouldn't I? The previous Sheo-whatever-you-keep-calling-me was obviously mad enough to help you, why shouldn't I do the same?" She thought about it for a second, brushing her thick graying mustache before screaming, "NO! I will NOT help you."

Anyanava's eyes widened and she looked away from Sheogalinda over to me. "But…" She looked over to Sheogalinda. "I do not understand. What did I do wrong?"

"NOTHING." Sheogalinda said. She looked down at the crushed face of Anyanava and groaned. "Oh, the look on your face hurts me. I...oh what the oblivion. I can't say 'no' to that pretty face." Sheogalinda said, pinching Anyanava's cheeks. "Look at you, able to breathe underwater with gills and lungs…so maddening. I can see why the previous Sheogorath spared you. I…for now, will provide you with the army you have asked for."

Anyanava smiled. "Thank you, She…"

"ON ONE CONDITION!" Then she rubbed her mustache. "Well, it's a trial with three tasks, so… ON THREE CONDITIONS." She shook her head, grabbing it in frustration. "No, it's a trial, it's one condition. FINE!" She screamed to herself. "ON ONE CONDITION CONTAINING THREE CONDITIONS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT INVOLVE CHEESE!"

Anyanava shook her hand. "Name it."

Sheogalinda nodded. "You have to pass all three trials. You and your friends. Unnormally, I would have you do these tasks separate, but I feel it's truly maddening to do things with a group. More voices to keep changing your minds. Do this…and you will have my support."

Asger chuckled to himself. "This will be fun."

Farengar rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, Mara preserve us."

A shining ball of light appeared in front of Fiirnar. It took the form of an enchanting woman with a long flowing white dress. She had long golden hair that flowed behind her and she had a set of huge angelic wings that stretched on for miles. She leaned in and kissed Fiirnar on the mouth. She pulled away and said, "There…preserved." Then she looked over to Maleek and Ruby. She glared at them and screamed, "Just DO IT ALREADY!" Then she vanished.

"Use preservatives next time, I do." Sheogalinda responded back. He looked to us all and said, "Are you ready?"

Everyone around me nodded. I felt Sheogalinda's eyes on me. "Waiting for you, meatbag."

I finally nodded and said, "Ok, fine. Let's just get this over with."

"You will find that madness is a lot like gravity…" Sheogalinda stated. "One little push…is all it takes to send you falling down."

"We're underwater." I said back. "Pushing won't hurt us here."

Sheogalinda grabbed her head in frustration. "Oh…she got me with a conditional environmental snap-back." She laughed and then glared at me. "I like you so much, I might just pluck out your eyes and replace my dead ones with them."

"Thanks?" I asked in return. Oh, boy. This was going to be a long day. When Sheogalinda spun around a few times, I felt a red portal surround me. Then I smelled cheese and then…I appeared in a room made up of butterflies. Everyone stood around me, in a small circle.

"TRIAL ONE! ONE OF YOU IS IT! FIND OUT WHO IT IS."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Next chapter, the trials. Maybe just one, maybe all three. We'll see._


	72. Ch 72: The second first third trial

**Cearbhail:**_ Ok, the last chapter for today. I'm fried, horribly. i will say, though. it became easier to be Sheogorath as i started losing my ability to focus or think. Anyway, my brain is toast, without butter, all rough and... no, i can't even make a joke. I'm done for tonight. Enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Where to start? The started in the chapel and then avatars of gods started appearing. They all started arguing with each other. Even Talos showed up. He got in argument with Nirni, the father of all gods. I thought he'd be something awesome but he looked like a whirlpool of rocks with an under-layer of lava that glowed unusually bright. It was pretty amazing, I'll admit to that but not father of gods amazing. Anyway, Sheogorath appeared as the Lammer version of him, Sheogalinda. Boy, he was confused as hell, but he (as crazy as it sounds) accepted his new role almost as easily as someone who's completely crazy. But first, we have to pass some tests._

_Trial one, we have to find out who's it. It? Like…tag? Don't we usually have to choose who's it first? But then…didn't the Mad God already choose for us? So, wouldn't he be the only one who knows? Oh dear sweet Talos…please come and help us. I'm sure that with his help we'll still be lost but at least he'll protect us from being turned into talking grapefruits or something just as random and stupid._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"Get away from me!" Maleek screamed as he charged past me.

Ruby charged past me as well. "Lady Mara demanded it! Come over here!"

"No!" Maleek screamed. "Stay away, you crazy cat!"

A portal ripped open and out stepped Sheogorath, in his formal suit that was half dark red, half dark purple. He straightened his tie and looked over at Ruby chasing Maleek. "Did you decide the clumsy Argonian was it?"

We all shook our heads. Asger snickered and said, "No, Ruby is just trying to get Maleek to be with her, because Lady Mara demanded it, I guess."

Sheogorath nodded, watching the two run around in circles. "Such a maddening thought, a cat and a lizard doing the fishstick. I approve." He looked over to us and said, "For your second trial, you much find out who is it and then run from him or her or it or whatever the opposite of it is."

"I thought we were on the first trial?" I asked.

Sheogorath looked over at me and then patted my head. "Oh, she can count." He looked around and shrugged. "Does it matter in what order we do the trials? You must do all three anyway, so I see no reason to do the second one first."

"But…" I started. "Wouldn't doing the second trial first make it the first trial?"

"Yes!" Sheogorath stated back. "Which is why I placed it as the second trial." He glared at me, smiling crazily at me. "Feel the madness yet? We haven't started playing yet."

I brushed the hair away from my eyes and looked away from him. "Uh…sure." The Mad God was so close to me that I could smell his breath, and it wreaked of garlic, clovers, and nasty Breton cheese. "Can we please get started, though. We have four different wars to plan for."

"Four wars to plan for?" Sheogorath asked. "Which four?"

"The war with the Thalmor, the war with Alduin, the war with these underwater forces, and I'm sure another one will sprout up soon enough." I responded.

Sheogorath laughed. "Oh, splendid. Your world is so maddeningly crazy. I'm glad I came back from break. I step away for a few minutes and my favorite island is overrun with strict rule-controlled elves."

Fiirnar cleared his throat and looked away. "It would seem that Esbern was correct in his theory about the Mad God being away for the past centuries. His coming back must have triggered the rise in dragons, Dragonborns, and countless other things."

Sheogorath looked over to him, questioning him with a glance. "Did I tell you about how I convinced the Nords that eggs represented their lord and savior? They started coloring them to no end. Now there's bunny involved. Oh how I love chickens." Sheogorath said, slapping his knees. "Imagine, bunnies laying eggs. And people think I'm crazy. Oh wait…I am."

Fiirnar stepped up to Sheogorath, rubbing his slight beard in inquisitiveness. "Excuse me, Sheogorath. May I ask you a few questions?"

Sheogorath looked over to him. "Oh, if you must."

"Did you take the Dwarves away from…"

"CHEESE!" Sheogorath responded. "That's the only answer that matters. That and the current puzzle. Who…Is…It?"

I looked over at Anyanava. She was lying on her back, completely incapable of moving. I pointed my finger down at her and said, "She's unable to move because she lacks legs. I would wager my vote on that you placed her 'it' because she cannot run nor chase anyone in her condition."

Sheogorath looked at me like I was an idiot. "Don't be absurd, little flat-toned flat-chested woman. Why would I, the Mad God, make someone completely incapable of moving the person assigned to give me a foot massage?"

"Because…wait…what?" I asked. I shook my head in confusion. "So, this is not a game of tag?"

"What is tag?" He asked. "It is a figment of someone's imagination. The person who is 'it' is suddenly repulsed by his or her peers. Everyone runs in terror of this person, afraid to become 'it' by whatever 'it' has. In its own way, the game is a game of madness, with no real purpose or reason. If the rules are changed and the person who's 'it' has to rub MY FEET then it becomes a less sane game." Sheogorath stated while sucking on a bubble pipe, bubbles flying out his nose and ears as a result. "So, I ask again…who would I place as my foot rubber?" He glanced at me expectantly, bubbles still popping from his nose.

"It's me, isn't it?" I asked, deadpanned.

"She who smelt it, rubbed it." Sheogorath responded. A recliner chair suddenly appeared and Sheogorath sat back, his boot magically disappearing. His nasty-looking feet waved themselves in my face, and I swear to Talos that I saw massive waves of green odor and gnats flying above his feet.

I looked over at Asger. "You ever tell M'aiq about this…and I will end you." I looked away as my fingers gravitated to Sheogorath's feet. Upon the touch, I could feel all the slime and sweat as I glided my fingers across his feet.

Sheogorath started laughing, fidgeting as he did so. He accidentally kicked me in the face as he did so. "Careful, flat-chested woman, my feet have been in those boots for _three hundred years_! They are very sensitive."

Asger tried to hold in his laugh, but he managed to smile. "Don't worry. He won't find out about it from me." Then Asger looked over to Sheogorath and said, "So, are you the God of Bardic Humor that the bards serve from time to time?"

Sheogorath shrugged. "That depends. Did you punch Isran in the face?"

"Three times, and then I slapped him three times." Asger replied in return.

"Did you smack him with a fish?" Sheo asked back. "I find it's always better to slap him with a fish. Here…watch this." A giant screen popped up behind us. I reluctantly looked away from nowhere and gazed upon the screen.

I could see Isran standing near the front of his ship, water splashing all around him. His cape flapped behind him dramatically while he stood there, hands folded behind his back. He suddenly looked back at his crew and screamed, "More speed. We must make it to Whiterun yesterday. That means…we need to move faster." He turned his face back around and gazed out forward. Suddenly, a fish jumped out of the water, smacking into Isran's face. The fish slapped with its tail and fell back overboard. Isran stood there, shocked that _that_ just happened. When he straightened himself back up, I heard something from above. Isran looked up in the air and his face turned to one of horror. He turned to run but just as he moved I saw a massive wave of fish just fall on top of him, burying him alive. They just kept coming, until the group of fish stood almost 7 feet high. I heard a groan and then the giant wave of fish exploded as Isran came punching his way out. "Oh yeah? I can take whatever you can throw, ocean!"

Sheogorath snapped his fingers and Isran's pants fell around his ankles. As he bent down to pick them up, one of the fish jumped, smacking him in his sweet spot. Isran cried out in pain and crumpled to the floor. "Ok, ocean…you win."

Sheogorath laughed as the screen disappeared. "He's my favorite to torment. He'll join me soon enough. He's mad in his own way. Dementia will love him." Sheogorath looked from the empty screen down to me. "That's enough, tiny-chested woman. You have passed the third trial."

"I thought it was the second but first trial!" I said to myself.

"It is, but I decided that it will be the third trial. The second trial is much too important to be third. And the first is much too close to be third, but maybe second. But then the second would be first, and it's not _that_ important. This one was menial, so it was third, but originally first. And it was only first in the first place because I wanted it first but I named it second because it _was_ menial, but much too important for third." Sheogorath concluded, pulling his foot away.

I stood up, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "How do you get anything done!" I screamed to the heavens.

"I have an assistant for doing things. He does things that need doing. I do things that need needing." He replied. Upon hearing that, I walked over to a tree and started bashing my head against it. _If I kill brain cells, it won't hurt me._ That's what I kept thinking as I kept bashing my head.

"Now she's a woodpecker." Sheogorath said. "That explains it. She has small breasts because she's really a pecker."

I turned around and walked away from everyone. I looked over to Asger and said, "Ok, I'm done. Asger…it's all up to you now. This is right up your area of tolerance." I sat down on the ground and began curling into the fetal position. I could handle this. Only two more tests and it would be over. Oh dear sweet Talos and Julianos…keep…me…sane…

Asger looked over to Sheogorath and smiled. "Ok, that's the first second trial completed. Now, can we move onto the next?"

Sheogorath shrugged. "Perhaps, would you like some tea first? Maybe a levitation spell for the freaky fish-mer?"

Asger shrugged. "Sure, we'll have some tea and crackers, and a levitation spell for our friend so that she could hover instead of lie there. That would be nice."

"Stay away from me!" Maleek screamed as he charged past me. He was still running from Ruby.

"Just come over here and kiss me!" Ruby screamed back, running past me as well.

"NO!" Maleek screamed, running even faster away.

Sheogorath watched the two running around in circles. "Running from the inevitable…he belongs in my domain as well." He looked over all of us. "In fact, you all belong here. The Khajiit with no memories of her upbringing, a very concept that is unable to exist because of how their milk gives them all their memories. An Argonian assassin that hurts himself every time he tries to kill someone, and is yet the Listener. A Dragonborn that is as chaotic as one of my truest followers. The only serious person in this team is undervalued, a servant, and has small breasts. The Lammer that is far too young and far too incompetent to rule, especially in a time of war. A wizard that will get to study a dragon…in the stomach of one at least, and a blind heroine that will always die because she will never get it right. Such a maddening group of adventurers that have become the center of the universe (and mostly my amusement). A small child-vampire that will never grow up but is far wiser than the rest of her peers. A Altmer that has daddy issues, a proper attitude, in spite of the fact that he is a representative of a world-dominating organization of elves. What would I do if I didn't keep you all safe? Go back to the Shivering Isles and shove my Wabbajack up the Duchesses' Wabbajack? BORING!"

I paused before I looked up at Sheogorath. "So…are you just going to help us?"

Sheogorath picked his nose, saying, "You passed all three trials. The first, the second, even the third. According to the maddening rules made up by the Mad God, I cannot, in good faith, let you go so easily. So, one more trial. What is…her birth name?" He pointed to Ruby. "I'll give you a hint…it's not a gem, nor a type of cheese. But you heard it once before, in a special palace that I deemed worthy of being built. A castle of hope and despair. Just like my home."

We all paused as we looked to Ruby. She stood there, running a claw in her ear, disinterested in anything happening. When she noticed us, she flicked a wad of earwax from her claw. "Uh…hi? What's up?"

"Sheogorath says that we will pass our test if we find out what your birth name is. Something about Host Isle and it being said once." I told her. "So, any idea what it might be?"

She tapped her chin. "Lunar Splice?"

"No." Sheogorath responded, sounding bored.

"Blue Rose Baron?"

"No." Sheogorath was playing a lute.

"Blue Rose Lord?"

"No." Now he was standing on a wheel of cheese, trying to balance.

"Master of the Blue Roses?"

"No." He had consumed that ball of cheese and was working on learning how to ride a bicycle.

"Bloodstain?"

"Yes!" Sheogorath screamed, fireworks flying up in the air, launching from his sleeves.

"Really?" Ruby sounded disappointed.

"No." Sheogorath responded, bored again.

"Red Rum?"

"No, but close." Sheogorath started sharpening throwing knives.

"Murder?"

"No, not even close, but I like where this is going." Sheogorath responded. He snapped his fingers and Ruby screamed. I looked over to her to see that she was tied up on a spinning board of wood. Sheogorath was slipping a blindfold over his eyes. "Every time you guess wrong, I'm going to throw a knife, or a fish, or maybe a spoon. I'm bad with aiming, I might add. And when I add, I can't focus on throwing."

Ruby looked at me mortified. "Lydia?"

"Wrong!" Sheogorath screamed, throwing the first knife. I watched it sail across the air and slam right next to Ruby's face. It just grazed her. She looked even more scared now.

She didn't open her mouth but she was still spinning around. "I'm going to throw up!"

"Wrong again!" Sheogorath screamed, throwing a spoon. It clanked against Ruby's forehead, drawing an 'ow' from her. "Seriously, who would name their child after a vulgar phrase anyway? Normal children are named after famous ancestors."

That's when it clicked for me. That's right; Cecilie mentioned it one day in Host Isle. Her friend, Primrose had known Ruby's ancestor. Her name was…oh…what was it? I opened my journal, searching for it. Chapter…um…62 mentioned something.

_Bloodstain has combed the island a hundred times over and found a lot of stuff, but no poisonous gases. Oh yeah…Bloodstain is some sort of detective from the future. Weird. Does everyone wear masks in the future? Gods…I sure hope not. I swear if someone starts running around in a mask with a cape, I'll lose it. But, either way, this guy is good at finding things. He found Red Rum's dirty magazines, Asger's missing sock, and my feminine hygiene supplies. He was slapped for the last one. M'aiq, the very Khajiit that I forgot even existed until tonight, was jumping up and down at finding Asger's sock because he wanted something to play with. Not sure what to make of that._

_Everyone else just can't wait for this surprise, whatever it is. I'm still sitting down, looking at her now…waiting for her to reveal whatever it is to happen._

_Lydia…_

I flipped to the next page, hoping to see something, but there was no mention of it at all. I was more obsessed with pointing out how Ruby was different from Lunar Splice. Damn me and not being more informative in my own journal entries. Ok, Khajiit names. Think, think. Oh wait, Ruby would know.

"Ruby, what was your ancestor's name? The one Primrose mentioned?" I screamed to her.

Ruby's face looked paled and she looked like she was about to puke. "Why is the room turning blue?"

Ok, she was going to be useless then.

"Wrong!" Sheogorath screamed, throwing a large fish at Ruby. After it hit her in the stomach, she vomited. "Wrong! Your name's not 'Bleeuurg'." He threw another knife, which landed dangerously close to her throat. "Be wrong again and you might…well, something, I'm sure."

Fiirnar rubbed his chin. "Wait a second, I remember this. Nisha. Her ancestor's name was Nisha." He looked away. "My father hated that little cat with a passion. She did leave him with a nasty scar after all."

"Ruby, call yourself Nisha!" I screamed to her.

Ruby just lolled there for a second, her eyes completely glazed over. "Uggnn."

"Ruby!" I screamed. "Call yourself Nisha!"

She snapped her eyes open and looked over to me. "Nisha?"

"WRONG!" Sheogorath screamed, pulling out a large claymore and throwing it at Ruby. I watched in horror as the claymore slammed into Ruby's head. Then it shattered into a large flock of butterflies, leaving Ruby completely unharmed. "Oh, I mean, that's correct." He turned to face Anyanava and said, "And although you did nothing to help your case, I will help you out. It's the only maddening thing I can think of doing."

Anyanava nodded. "Thank you, Sheogalinda. But, I do not understand…you are not a Lammer?"

He smiled and patted her on the head. "After all this, that's all you can think about. I LOVE YOU." He pinched her cheeks. "Oh, I can't stay mad at you, you're just too cute." He stuck his hand up to the air. "To war we go. No…better yet. To PANCAKES!"

"Guys…" Ruby moaned. "I'm still spinning….bleeuurg."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ha! Poor Ruby, I mean Nisha. Named after a character from the Khajiit battlemage. I almost had Babette there to rub her chin and announce it but... then i thought about it and was like 'ah dammit, i didn't put her with them'. So, i had to use fiirnar instead. oh well, it's solved._


	73. Ch 73: The New Ultimate Ally

**Cearbhail:** _Yes, I'm finally back. It's been a while, I know. I actually took some time off so that I could actually relax. Anyway, I'm back and this is just the beginning. NO! I'm not posting another chapter tonight, but MAYBE I'll post one tomorrow. Not sure yet. Depends of how busy I am doing nothing but video gaming. Yeah, so anyway, enjoy this really short chapter. HEY! It's a complete thought... yeah, I'm sure it is. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_We have passed Sheogalinda's/Sheogorath's one trial. That trial…was me rubbing his nasty, slimy, smelly, wart-infested, perfectly trimmed, foot. Do NOT get me started on when he shoved his foot in my face because I accidentally tickled him. His nastiness got in my mouth. I'd rather forget it ever happened. But once I finished massaging his foot, he accepted us as his followers and proceeded to tell us why we're all crazy and perfect for him. Asger because he's well…Asger. Me because I'm serious but never taken seriously (don't I know it). Ruby because she's well…Ruby. Maleek because he's a clumsy assassin. Fiirnar because he's a proper dictating gentleman. And…who else is in our group? Oh yeah, Anyanava. Her because she's a cannibalistic Merfolk._

_But even after we got past that he accused me of being a man (don't get me started on that, either). Then he strapped Ruby to a spinning board and started throwing various objects at her while we tried to guess her 'true' name. After she suffered several fish slaps to the face, we found out that her name was really Nisha, a name of her great-something grandmother from way back during the Aedra Wars. When all was done and done, Sheogalinda snapped her fingers and we were transported back to the temple. She's nowhere to be found, but I'm guessing we're about to find out what we need to do next._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I whole hour or so had passed since we got back from our trials. We had spent the whole time inside the temple since we had come back from Sheogalinda's domain. Anyanava had begun carving a statue of Sheogalinda out of the wheel of cheese she left for her. It was Sheogalinda's orders, after all. _Carve my chaotic awesomeness from this cheese and then cut it in half. I like the idea of you cutting my cheese._

So, that's what she did. She cut Sheogalinda's cheese. I called it! I thought that the stupid ritual had to do something with the cheese being cut. Word plays are definitely up his alley. Seriously, I bet he has an alley that intersects another one: Word and Play. Just watch.

But anyway, when we got back, I started writing my new journal entry; Ruby tried to get her stomach back. Maleek started sharpening his spear. Asger tried learning how to use his Ice Form Shout underwater. He froze his head in a giant block of ice. He was still wiggling around on the ground, trying to use some sort of Flame spell to melt the ice. Too bad that he's underwater and his fire spell fizzles out. I sure hope he can breathe. I would help him but…eh. I think he deserves some time to himself. I know I'm enjoying his silent screams. Maybe I need to speak to a shrink. Now if only I could get M'aiq in a block of ice…

…

..

Wait, what was I thinking about? Hmm, I seemed to have gotten side-tracked. Oh yeah, M'aiq in a block of ice. Quiet. (Sigh). … … What a wonderful world that would be. Well, anyway, Asger is rolling on the floor, trying to melt that ice. I know he wants some help, but since I can't hear him call my name, I can't say if he really wants me to help him. I'm sure he'll figure it out.

"YOL!"

Ok, that was over faster than I would have wanted it to be.

Asger threw his head out of what was left of the ice and took a deep breath. He smiled and looked over at me. "It's a good thing that ice is just water. I would have suffocated if I weren't able to breathe underwater right now."

"Yeah." I responded, deadpanned and slightly sarcastic. "Imagine…you…suffocating. Quiet…forever." I smiled, genuinely.

I drew a concerned smile from Asger, who started chuckling. He finally slugged me in the arm and said, "Aw, come on. I know you're kidding." His face betrayed some sort of worry. It was almost like he thought I was serious in wanting him dead. Heh…I could have some fun with this.

So, I reached for my sword and pulled out my whetting stone. I started sharpening my sword, staring at him intently, smiling wickedly. "Yeah…" I said very menacingly, forcing the strokes of my whetting stone against my sword. "Just kidding."

He looked from my face down to my sword. "Uh…Lydia." He said. "You're scaring me."

My smile was the only answer I gave him. When he started backing up, I shrugged. "You are my Thane. I am your shield and…your sword." I smiled as menacingly as I could. It wasn't like I was mad at him or anything. I just wanted to enjoy torturing him for once. And the look on his face was enough for me. I thought I'd just shift from him over to someone else. And I had the perfect way to change the subject.

"Hey, Two-Names! What do we call you now? Nisha or Ruby?" I screamed to the multi-named Khajiit girl, who was still rubbing an amethyst to her stomach.

Two-Names looked over at me, confused. "Are you kidding? Who do you know me as?"

"Ruby." I responded immediately. "But there was a time when you were known as Nameless too. And Jailbait, if I remember correctly."

Ruby crossed her arms and looked away. She finally sighed and pushed off the wall, swimming up to me with all the grace of a drowning sack of puppies. She crashed into my chest, crying out in pain as she rubbed her head. She finally looked up at me, glaring at me. "I'm Ruby. Nisha may be my birth name, but it has little to no meaning to me anymore. That name died when I died inside. That name died when I became an exotic dancer-in-training. Whatever that is. I was reborn as Ruby, when I met you. You people gave me a real reason to live. If I return to being called Nisha, it might make me…different. I don't want to be different. I like me as I am now. I am Ruby."

Asger nodded to Ruby, happy to hear her answer. "As great a bardic speech if I've ever heard one."

Ruby smiled in return. "And it's because of your training that I can vocalize as well as I can." She hugged Asger tightly as she could and looked over at me. "And let's not forget, I'm the first Khajiit ever…I think…to have a last name: Battle-Born. I only adopted that name after having Ruby. Being called Nisha Battle-Born…" She stopped. "Wait." She held her hand up, silencing me before I could say something. "Nisha…Battle-Born. Ruby…Battle-Born." She said both names very carefully, pronouncing both as carefully as she could. She paused and flicked her tail. "Shab! This is hard. I like both names."

Farengar swam up to us, throwing his arm out at Ruby. "I have a suggestion. You're a mage, right?"

Ruby shrugged. "A shaman. Why?"

"We normally have two names: our birth names and our mage names. What if you were to keep your birth name and adopt your new name as your shaman name? It would fit since your name is that of a crystal anyway. That way you could be Nisha Ruby Battle-Born. Both would be your name."

That drew a smile to her face and she leaned in to hug Farengar. "Thank you, totally random mage that I've never talked to before! I like that idea."

Farengar sighed. "But…we chatted about crystals and magic just yesterday."

She glanced up at him. "We did? You'd think I'd remember that."

Asger chuckled and looked away from them. "And let's not forget nicknames. We would have called you Ruby regardless of your actual name. You could have used your real name again and just have us call you Ruby as a nickname."

Ruby smiled. "So, no matter what, my name is both Nisha and Ruby." She nodded. "I like that."

"To me, you'll always be.." Maleek said, throwing his arm around Ruby's shoulder. "The Disgusting Furball."

Ruby pushed him away, growling at him. "Well, you'll always be…the Slimy Lizard."

"I am not slimy! My scales are perfectly dry and not sticky!" He responded, getting up in her face.

I turned around as they started fighting. The two of them rolled around in the middle of the temple. None of us could see what was going on because their commotion had drawn up a shield of bubbles. I bet they were making out. It seemed about right.

Anyanava finally finished her statue and pulled out a butter knife (I guess they have those too). She started cutting into the statue and I heard a loud hearty laughter.

_OH, PLEASE STOP. THAT TICKLES._ The voice sounded like Sheogorath, but highly feminine. I guess this was Sheogalinda. Maybe he changed himself into a mermaid? Or perhaps he split himself into two separate gods: Sheogorath and Sheogalinda. It would only make sense. That way he could keep track of her and never lose himself to his being dethroned again.

Anyanava stopped cutting into the cheese statue and looked up at the actual statue. "Sheogalinda, I have completed your ritual. I plead for your assistance in our attempt to win the war against the eight-limbed ones."

_I remember our conversation. Seriously, do you think I'm crazy or something? Well, I wish I could help but these things take time. I have to go out, collect my soldiers, turn them into freaky fish-Daedra, and then transport them to your realm. Oh wait…that's easy. However, I have found something out about my freaky-fish-woman powers. I'm not nearly as crazy with your culture. This is the sanest I've ever felt. Although, I do have a hankering to eat my own hand. That's just insane. But, back to my powers. I need a priestess to come and sacrifice her left pinky toe to complete the summoning ritual._

Anyanava floated near the statue. "A priestess?" She responded, twirling a hand in her dark blue hair. "And she has to sacrifice her…left pinky toe?" She looked over at us, questioningly. She looked back up at the statue, almost squealing out in concern. "I do not understand…what is a left pinky toe?"

_You're so maddeningly confused and hopeless! I LOVE IT! You're so cute when you don't know basic human anatomy. I wish I had hands; I would pinch your cheeks again._

I waited for Sheogalinda to continue but I guess that was the end of what she had to say. I finally sighed and swam up to the statue. Sheogorath already hated me, I might as well shove his slimy foot down his throat.

I stopped by the head of the statue, giving it my best glare that I could. "HEY!" I screamed to the head. "You know as well as I do that the Lammer have no toes! You already said that you would help so don't go back on your word with this stupid runaround! The Lammer might lose more homes and right now…you're their only useable deity. The other ones won't help, so it's up to you! Now…man up, drop some balls, and raise an army."

The statue didn't move, not once. _Now, I'M CONFUSED! I thought I was a woman. Now you want me to turn back into a MAN? No way, I love being a freaky-fish-woman. But, I will say this, "Duh." We're waiting outside._

Anyanava smiled and turned around. She swam for the open archway that led outside. I tried to keep up with her and Maleek, but they were outside before the rest of us could even turn around. When I did reach outside, what I saw astounded me. There were two massive rows. The row on the right was filled with nothing but golden-skinned Lammer Daedra with golden elven tridents. To the left were black-skinned Lammer Daedra with devilish-looking spears. Standing right in the middle of both rows of Lammer was Sheogalinda. She was holding… you know what. Screw it. It was a sword handle. Not a sword, not a spear, not even a spoon…a handle. A fucking handle. Oh well, she was the god of chaos. I bet she has some sort of ace up her sleeve.

Sheogalinda smiled as she spread her arms out. "Presenting…my favorite Daedra." She spun away. I was stunned. There, standing right behind Sheogalinda…was the most frightening thing I've ever seen in my life. It had a pure white tail with shark fins. It wore a striped shirt: black and white. It had a completely paled face, with tiny eye drop make-up, and black lips. It wore a beret, but it also had elven ears. And it waved its arms up and down like it was trapped in a box. It was…

…

A Lammer Mime!

Sheogalinda smiled and rubbed her nose. "Yes, I took one of my favorite ideas and made it a freaky-fish person. I think it's perfect, like it really belongs down here. Doesn't even have gills. It just pretends to be breathing through a scuba tank."

"What's a scuba tank?" Ruby asked.

Sheogalinda swam up to Ruby and flicked her in the forehead. "Nothing you'd understand." She responded back.

Anyanava smiled, swam up to Sheogalinda, and threw her into the Lammer version of a hug (a tail wrap and a tongue dance on the neck). Sheogalinda freaked out but returned the gesture with some amount of familiarity. When they finished their Mime neck kiss, Anyanava looked up at Sheogalinda and said, "Thank you for helping us. May I ask for one of your warriors to send a message to Uvanaya? He is the leader of my group of…fighters? Yes, 'fighters' is the word. I feel that we must join you or we'll never learn to fight for ourselves."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Yup (nods head), that's qualifies as a complete thought. Thought about doing more for the chapter but I'm so sore from my Kuk Sool Won class. I was doing martial arts from 5 pm til about 920 pm. (sigh, groan, moan) I'm SORE!_


	74. Ch 74: Uvanaya

**Cearbhail:** _This chapter was fun, actually. A new character comes into play. He won't be around like everyone else, but I liked adding this...unique personality to the team for this. Everything else is finally coming into place and I finally reveal the enemy. Right before the new semester starts too. Nice._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_We've finally started our war. Our first visit was the town of New Spring. It lies in the center of the White Water Foams territory and also serves as the Lammer's capital city. Farengar was heavily excited to see it for himself. Asger just couldn't wait to help Anyanava fight this war in earnest. He's down with Maleek and Anyanava in the iceball field. They're preparing whatever fishermen and miners they could turn into warriors for war. Ruby's down there too, using her bag and their materials to make them custom armor. She changed her own world inside her bag to match theirs. The Lammer that are ready for combat go into her bag and get the full warrior makeover by her crystal allies. When they come floating out of the bag, they look pretty impressive. That bag of hers is pretty amazing._

_I can't wait to be done with this so I can get back to the war council meeting. Hearing Ulfric and Tullius scream at each other while Rikke and Galmar make kissy faces at each other (while pretending to hate each other at the same time). It actually makes me think about Ruby and Maleek. Then we get to make the Gray-Manes and the Battle-Borns kiss and make-up. If you can't understand why, if we can get the Stormcloaks and the Empire to team up, our family feud will come to an end. And then Jon and that Gray-Mane girl can get married. I can stop having Old Man and Vignar fight over me, and we can finally go back to having our two families having picnics every Sundas morning, accompanied with the occasional game of Ruins and Dwarves. I always play the Monk class. Not always going to have a sword by your side, so why bother having one at all?_

_Actually, now that I think about it…no, I don't want to go back to Whiterun. It will be swarming with everyone we've ever met and I just don't like big crowds. And Whiterun will be a hug of all the crazy we've ever attracted. Talk about in over our heads. And our group will be at the center of it all, focusing all that chaos onto us. I don't want to deal with that, now or ever._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal, looking down at Asger. He was still floating around the iceball field, talking to the new recruits. Only several of them had gone into Ruby's bag and received their armor. I hadn't been inside yet, but I could definitely see the results of it. The Lammer that floated in would come floating out a few minutes later. They would be covered head-to-fin in some type of pearl armor with fancy glass tridents and spears. They looked impressive, but once Asger taught them how to use their armor and tridents for actual use, they usually disappointed us.

Those that did learn how to defend themselves within a couple sparring matches moved onto Farengar and Fiirnar. The two of them were teaching classes on using magic. Lammer had a very special magic: water. Up above, we used Frost, but never had anyone used Aqua Destruction Magic. Hell, I didn't know it even existed. Beyond that, they do have a version of Shock. It doesn't extend past their own bodies, though. So it's only good for pointblank strikes. That's where Fiirnar comes into his role. He knows the pressure points and is teaching the Lammer how to strike with their contact Shock spells. Not sure how that will translate with the 'eight-limbed ones' but they should at least be better off now.

Anyanava, the whole time, is with me. She and I are the strategy force. She is going to show me the map of the infected territories, how stretched the armies are, and how long before another settlement comes under the effects of the eight-limbed ones. Uvanaya, the general of her army, is supposed to join us as well. I can't wait to meet him. I bet he's one special warrior since he's the head fighter.

"Lydia?" Anyanava's voice called from behind me.

I spun around. Anyanava was floating behind me, a smile plastered over her face. I nodded to her and said, "Welcome, Yana. May we…"

"How dare you call Clan Mother Anyanava by her pet name!" A small squeaky voice called from behind her. A shorter Lammer (child-sized) shot out from behind her back. In that second of confusion, he charged at me with a trident at long as my arm.

I caught his attack with one hand. His trident was aimed right at my throat. I pulled the trident's points away from my throat and then pulled it out of the little boy's hands. His face pouted instantly and he reached for his trident. I held out my free hand and pushed his face back while holding the trident out of his reach. "Now, now. Children, such as yourself, should not play with dangerous weapons like this."

The child continued to struggle with me and I continued to push him back. Anyanava only smiled and shrugged. "But…Lydia. He is Uvanaya…the leader of my resistance."

I went into shock for that brief second. In that second, the kid swam past my hand, snatched his trident, slapped me in the face with his tail, and swam behind Anyanava to hide. When I stopped spinning around in small circles, I looked back at the kid. He was a foot shorter than Anyanava, had that tough-kid look to him, but the way he hid behind Anyanava's back… I could tell he was scared.

"He's a kid." I responded.

She nodded. "Yes, but he's the only survivor from our first lost settlement. He has the most knowledge about how to kill the eight-limbed ones. He killed several by himself."

Uvanaya smiled. "Yeah. They weren't so tough. The smaller ones make a great meal too." He stuck out his tongue at me. "So, we don't need your help. I'm here and _I'll_ kill all those crab people." He chuckled and spun away from me. "Seriously, Clan mother. What were you thinking, bringing humans into our world? They can't even swim!"

I suppressed the urge to run up and yell at the kid. He was a kid after all. All bravado, no sense. So instead, I looked over to Anyanava. "Just because he survived a burning town… DOES NOT MAKE HIM A WARRIOR LEADER."

Anyanava tilted her head to the side. "I do not understand... our towns did not burn. Is that what makes your warrior leaders on land?"

I groaned and spun myself around. "No, it's just an expression. I don't think anyone in any respective rank have only obtained it because they survived a burning town."

"I did." Asger said. I spun around to see him standing a few feet away from me. "Helgen. I survived Helgen. Alduin burned it down to the ground. And I walked out with two unconscious enemies: Hadvar and Ralof. I took them both to Riverwood and proceeded to get some food. I heard of a stolen golden claw, so I grabbed Faendal and gave him a bardic speech. When I found out he was attracted to the store owner's sister, I told him the best way to win her heart was to join me on a quest to get back their golden claw. That day, we journeyed forth and we claimed that claw as well as…a giant rock. It was a rock and it had carvings in it. So, I took it, because giant rocks with carvings in them are important. That day, Faendal took that claw back to that woman, his clothes all torn and bloody. Sure he was missing an ear but with how much that woman loved him after seeing him in his ruined state, clutching the golden claw, you'd think that losing an ear would be worth it."

"Asger?" I asked. When he finally stopped, I slapped him across his face. "Shut up, please. Can't you see I'm trying to discuss strategy with a five year-old?"

His eyes drifted down to Uvanaya. Asger found himself smiling and he rushed up to the boy, pinching his cheeks. "Aw, he's so…cute!" He cried. "Imagine, a child Lammer. I thought I'd never see a grown one, but now…I see a child! Look Lydia…" He said, pulling Uvanaya out from behind Anyanava's tail. "His tail is pale white and his skin is an icy blue, just like the other ones. But look here." He showed me the tail tips. They had black markings on them. "Tribal markings. According to the old tales, these tails are marked for royalty."

Anyanava nodded, showing us her tail as well. "Yes, that is true. My tail shows that I'm from the White Water Foams clan. Those markings are of the Roaring Wave clan. They were the…old warriors that pushed the eight-limbed ones away. They settled on the border to keep watch over our enemies in case they ever returned. I had forgotten that they existed."

Uvanaya squirmed out of Asger's hand and spun his trident at him. It clocked Asger in the face, knocking him around in a small cyclone. At first I thought it was a really good hit, but then I noticed how water was pulling in. The five year-old child smiled and swam away as the cyclone continued to spin Asger around. The kid chuckled and crossed his arms. "I may look like a simple child, but I come from a clan of warriors. I will not be so easily bested!" He proclaimed boldly.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, they couldn't be _that_ good; your enemies destroyed the town."

Uvanaya was up in my face, shoving his trident at me. "Don't mock my clan! We fought as hard as we could. My father saved hundreds of lives! It's not our fault they had giant crabs with them!" His trident poked into my side and I felt an overwhelming feeling of numbing energy overtake me. My body started fidgeting uncontrollably while Uvanaya continued to berate me. "My father did everything he could! He got everyone out of the town. Then that giant crab pinched him in half! And I'm not FIVE. I'm eight!"

The shocking sensation ended and I was allowed to float peacefully. Anyanava glanced over at me, still smiling. "I am sorry for his behavior, Lydia. My warrior leader has a temper problem."

_Oh dear gods…her military leader is an eight year-old. They're doomed. Oh wait, there is a chance! They have a deity._

"No, no, no. This will never do. My mustache is not nearly long enough. You must make it longer!" Sheogalinda screamed to the golden-skinned Lammer Daedra.

One of them nodded, saying, "My apologies, ma'am. But…we don't have enough cheese big enough for your mustache!"

I sighed. Their one and only useful deity was busy constructing a giant statue of herself in a giant block of Swiss cheese. _I take that back. She's as useless as an eight year-old military leader. Forget it, they're doomed._

The cyclone keeping Asger busy finished up and he slowly came to a stop. His eyes were glazed over and he looked over at me. "Mommy, I don't want to ride this anymore.."

And…our only useful Dragonborn was now incapacitated. At this rate, we're likely to be…

"Invasion!" One of the dark-skinned Lammer Daedra screamed. "I can see them approaching now. Mudcrabs! By the hundreds!"

"MUDCRABS?!" I screamed. "We're here to fight….mudcrabs?"

Anyanava looked scared as hell. "You know of these eight-limbed ones? Are they a problem in your culture?"

I unsheathed my katana. This was the problem? A few mudcrabs? I should have known. Damn you, irony. I could kill them all by myself. "Yeah, we have them. We have a simple solution for them: butter and a shell cracker."

I pushed forward, flash-swimming as fast as I could go (which wasn't so fast). It was a lot like gliding like the Lammer could already do. As I approached the wave of dog-sized mudcrabs, I saw Maleek flash by. He was so fast that he left a giant line of bubbles behind him. Just as fast as he passed me, he flew through several mudcrabs. I could see their shattered shells as they dead ones floated down to the ocean floor.

My first mudcrab floated up to me and I quickly stabbed it with my blade. It barely did anything. As sharp as this thing might be, it was useless underwater with naturally-armored opponents. So, I resolved myself to reach out, grab them, and pull their limbs off the old-fashioned way.

It was around the time I killed my first one that the reinforcements came flying through. The new Daedra floated on by, led by the Mim-mer, as it was now called. Then Anyanava and Uvanaya followed from behind. Behind them were my friends. We swam slowly and I had a good head start so it was natural that I'd get here first. But still, these were mudcrabs! Did Anyanava really need us for simple mudcrabs? That couldn't be the full problem. Their dragon, Okaazstrunzii, would not be afraid of a few mudcrabs. Even if they numbered in the thousands (which I highly doubt).

Speaking of the dragon, Okaazstrunzii was now gliding through the water, tackling several mudcrabs at once, taking them into a cyclone of his own making. "IISS!" The dragon roared. Just like that a giant line of ice encompassed an entire row of mudcrabs. The block of ice started floating away from us, heading up to the surface no doubt.

Ruby floated up to me, smiling. "Wow, mudcrabs? Who would have guessed they were running from mudcrabs?"

I shook my head. "No, this is too easy. I can't help but wonder…what scares a dragon?"

"A Shout that makes them mortal?" She asked.

I shook my head again. "Perhaps, but…this is too simple. And mudcrabs can't Shout."

"Here come the eight-limbed warriors, milady!" Okaazstrunzii screamed from further ahead of me.

Anyanava nodded. "We are ready for them, Okaazstrunzii. We have our army."

I watched carefully as giant lines of bubbles started streaming from the darkest reaches of the ocean. The lines quickly swarmed over Maleek and the lines started chasing him as he swam away. The lines quickly started flying into each other and I could see a few lines dropping away. But I could tell that Maleek was still beating whatever they were. There had only been a few of them at this time. But as those few were pestering Maleek, I could see hundreds more flying out of the dark, all heading towards us.

"Everyone, stand together!" Uvanaya screamed to us, his voice high-pitched and very annoying. "Let's show them why we're in charge of the ocean!" With that, the combined army created bubbles as they charged forward. It was nothing but a giant bubble show. Everyone was moving so quickly that I couldn't keep track of anything. All I could see were the dead bodies of Daedra and Lammer floating down to the floor. The water itself was staining red.

Ruby started to push forward, but I stuck out my hand to halt her. "Ruby…you and I are useless in this fight. We can't swim fast, we don't have any useful magics, or anything that can really help."

She started to nod but then she showed me her new gloves. "I knew that we'd be useless, so I made these gloves for me and you. Mine have sharp diamond claws, yours has diamond knuckle-dusters. If you put your effort behind it, you can smash through any metal. We'll at least be able to defend ourselves." She handed me my pair of gloves while putting hers on.

It was a good thing she gave me some gloves because a giant stream of bubbles were flying up to us. As soon as I slipped the gloves on, a giant red pincher broke through the stream of pinchers and threatened to enclose around my neck. I threw my armored arm up and pushed myself away from the pincher right as it snapped shut. With as much speed and power that went behind that pincher, my neck would have been severed on the spot. I had to be more careful in the future.

That was when I got a good look at the monster in front of me. It was like a…crab person. It had a large chest that was covered in an exoskeleton, two large crab claws, and a face like the Lammers'. What it also had were eight rubbery limbs with suction cups for legs. It was a half-crab half-human half-octopus. The Crab-human-octopus. I bet that's what it was called.

"I know what these are!" Farengar screamed from inside the giant collection of bubbles. "Dreugh: homeland, Morrowind. Interesting, they must have moved into Skyrim once the sun vanished."

Ok, Dreugh. That's a better name for something about to meet my fist. I flashed myself forward, slamming my fist into its face. It didn't have time to react. My fist shattered its head on impact and the dead crab person silently floated down to the floor. I looked over at Ruby and smiled. "And once again, you've shown me why you're so awesome. These gloves are perfect."

Ruby was busy attaching some flipper-looking shoes to her feet. "Yeah, and if you want to be faster, I suggest you put these on as well." She tossed me a pair. "I tried them out; it makes it easier for me to glide around. If we both flash while wearing them, we'll actually be faster than everyone else."

Good idea, Ruby. As always. I strapped on my new flipper shoes and nodded to her. "Ok, let's go kick ass."

* * *

_**Cearbhail**: Ah, it feels good to be me._


	75. Ch 75: Lydia's First Bardic Speech

**Cearbhail:** _(Sigh) Oh man...this semester is kicking my shebs. But, I had a good day today so...here you go. No, i have not forsaken my completely justifiable responsibility to give you guys a chapter of humor... I just really don't have time to sit down and do this right now. Maybe soon. Today, yes. Other days i'm burnt out. I started this new leg workout so that my stamina would be better for the upcoming Kendo tournament. I'm getting my first rank this year. Yay! Anyway, new chapter. Duh!_

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The battle for the Capital City of New Spring is finally over. We lost a couple pods (squads) of Lammer but the end result for the Dreugh was overwhelming. There are piles of crab shells littering the ocean floor. There was blood and crab meat as well, but… well… Lammer are carnivorous and cannibalistic. They ate all the remains._

_Now that we've driven them away from the Capital, we're separating our forces into three smaller armies and taking the attack to the next three overwhelmed towns. All the refugees from those towns are joining the fight to take their settlements back. Once we have taken them, the refuges are settling in to fix up their towns while the rest of the Capital City's Lammer army continues to drive the Dreugh back to Morrowind. I don't know what happens after we get them pushed back. Do we kill them off? Lower their population to a small amount so that they can't retaliate with force? I don't know how suppression works, but it's looking more and more like what we might have to do with the Thalmor as well. It's amazing how relevant this war really is in retrospect._

_Anyway, I would like to say that we had a good lengthy bard-inspired goodbye, but it was rather quick. Asger didn't want to waste any time at all in pushing the Dreugh away. He wants to keep as many of them alive as he can. I can understand that. So, he took his own team with Anyanava to the center town. Fiirnar and Farengar took the city to the west. Ruby, Maleek, and I are going east. The 'Great and Powerful' Uvanaya is staying here in the Capital to look over raising more soldiers. Great…a kid controlling the resistance army. Well, I have to go._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The Battle of New Spring was a long one. It was so long that when it finished, I had to retire to my 'waterbed' for a couple days. It felt so much longer than that. It felt like weeks since anything happened to me. But that wasn't important; I needed a good break anyway. With how much crazy happens to me on a daily basis, I think a couple weeks where nothing weird happens is a blessing.

"I'm just saying, butterflies have beautiful wings." Ruby squeaked out from behind me.

Maleek rolled his eyes and groaned. "I don't care if they do! That has no impact on what you were saying! All you said was that butterflies had beautiful wings. And then you said that butterflies don't have beautiful wings." And then Maleek shook his head in confusion. "And then you said that because those two truths contradicted each other that…whatever you said next was valid for any argument." He shook his head again, running his hand through his feathers. "That makes no sense! How can the wings of butterflies prove that pancakes are healthy for your eyes?"

Ruby smiled. "Because I love you."

I rolled my eyes. They had been going at this for a couple hours now. It was the same circular logic that kept leading to Ruby announcing her love for Maleek. When he rejected it, she would present a new contradiction and say how it would inevitably lead to her truth that she loved him. I don't know where she learned about validity and how any contradiction can be used to prove the validity of an argument but… this was by far the most chaotic/circular logic that I have ever heard in my life. Even with the whole Draugr are Dwarves crap Esbern tried to throw down Fiirnar's throat.

Well, knowing what I know about arguing with chaotic people, I know how to beat this type of argument. Asger…thank you for preparing me for this. But…if I embraced what I had to do next…I…I don't know what will happen to me. Will I suddenly degrade to that of…of…of them? Ack. I don't want that. I'm sane, possibly the only sane one around. If I do this, I will slowly become one of them. I had to be careful. Maybe if I set up Maleek to become the crazy one, not me. I think I can pull this off. He's sane, but his fall will be quicker than mine if I do this right.

"Be that as it may, Ruby. There is still one thing you forgot about: soundness." I called back. Ok, time to let her ask away and then Maleek will take over.

"Soundness?" Ruby asked. "Asger did not tell me about soundness. That is not a part of Bardic Rules of Arguments."

Maleek looked from Ruby over to me. The whole time we had been swimming at a nice gliding pace that Maleek found to be practically standing still. The pods and pods of Lammer following behind us talked amongst themselves in their own clicking language. They paid little to no attention to us. They were our army after all. We were taking back the town: Icicle Sky. It was a town housed inside a massive iceberg that hadn't moved since it lodged into an underwater mountain.

I nodded back to Ruby. "Oh, yes it is, Ruby. It's the Bardic Rule of 'Defeating Contradicting Validity'. Asger taught me about it a few months ago."

Maleek almost pleaded with me as he asked, "Please, Lydia. Teach me about soundness!"

I nodded and looked back to my front. I didn't want to run into any random whales. With how random encounters work…imagine what we'd run in to down here in the ocean. "Validity does not make an argument sound. It has to be true within our world as we know it. The fact that butterflies have wings may be true but since the statements of their wings being beautiful and yet not beautiful contradict the overall argument. Both statements at some point in time must become false. Therefore, the soundness of the argument is not sound _because_ one of the key points of the argument is in fact…false. If it is false, it's not sound. If it is not sound, it's what Lammer eat: dead meat."

Maleek still looked confused. "So…if it's not sound…it's not a true argument?"

I nodded in return. "Yup. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't mean anything useful. Bards don't care if it's useful or makes sense. They only care about the drama and the chaos. Like Ruby. She plays a flute and then claims to make the world hold its breath while she musically beats down her opponent's soul. Can we prove that? No. But…in her world those are her truths. It's a valid statement. Just not sound. It _doesn't_ hold true in the real world."

Ruby looked crushed. "Lydia! That's mean!"

I shrugged in return. "Honestly, that's just fact. That's the Bardic Rule of 'Soundness'. It's a failsafe for defending against the unrealistic bardic speeches that make no logical sense. I did not mean for it to come off as offensive, Ruby. If you're going to use circular logic and other means to tell Maleek why he should return your feelings then I feel that he should have the right to use regular logic to throw your attempts back at you…"

I froze after saying that. I actually stopped swimming and I floated there for a second. Did. I. Just. Say…. "I feel that…" Where had I heard that phrase used before?

When I realized where I had heard it before, I almost cracked. It was what Ruby and Asger always used when they started or concluded their bardic speeches. I. Had. Just. Made. A. Bardic. Speech. No, no. I refuse to believe that I created a bardic speech. Those include ranty often over-the-top speeches that somehow got us into trouble. I didn't do that, no. I just…taught Maleek…how to…ah fuck. I taught him how to beat Ruby in an argument. Dammit! I could not justify this in my mind as _not_ a bardic speech. I effectively took Maleek and made him better at something by giving him an explanation of the bardic rules and exceptions. Dammit!

I hung my head low as I realized…I just did my first bardic speech. And it was so that I could teach Maleek how to contradict their arguments. I used a bardic rule to overrule a bardic rule. DAMMIT.

Since I had stopped swimming, Ruby and Maleek were paying more attention to me. Ruby swam up to me, looking around with wide eyes. "What do you see, Lydia?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't let her know that I just made a bardic speech. She would never let me live it down. Perhaps, if she didn't say it was a bardic speech, it wouldn't be one. After all, if I didn't openly state what I said as a bardic speech, it would never be validated as true. This was for the best. I just had to leave it alone.

"Why, 'ello, mates. Can I offer you some of the best quality wine this ocean has ever seen?" A thick sailor accent called from above me. It sounded so familiar that I couldn't help but groan.

I looked above me to see Berner sitting in a floating market stand. He was just a few feet away from us. I swam back as he gently floated down towards us. As he got to our level, he blew a bubble out of his mouth. He pulled the bubble away and stuck it to the market stand's top. He was now floating right in front of me. He had a very nonchalant smile and has his head resting on his arm.

He continued to float there while I let Ruby and Maleek catch up mentally with me. Ruby was the first one to vocalize what I was thinking. "BERNER? What are you doing down here? Why? How? When? _WHO_?!"

Berner smiled thicker, closing his eyes in amusement. "You forgot where."

Ruby scoffed, crossed her arms, and looked away. "No, I didn't. I know where…here."

Berner nodded. "Well done, fellow chef. But, that's why I'm here. I'm here because you're here. I will not be let you be the only chef down here in the briny deep. When I heard that you were kidnapped by Mermaids, I thought, 'Hey, I bet they would like some of my famous wine. Imagine, I could introduce an entire culture of Merfolk to my wine. While I don't charge much for my wine, it would still throw my profits into the stratosphere. Why, I bet it would lead me to becoming the personal chef of the High Queen (wink, wink)."

I shook my head in half astonishment/half utter bewilderment. Just when I thought we'd have a nice normal trip, my own personal hell visits me. I only sighed as I realized. Anyanava wouldn't be here to be convinced to drink pig urine. That was one victory.

"Lydia!" I could hear Asger scream.

I groaned as I realized…I shouldn't ever think that something won't happen, because it will. Damn contradictions making valid stuff. DAMN BARDS!

Berner waved to the incoming waves of new Lammer and Asger. As expected of bardic logic…Anyanava was right beside Asger, swimming right up to us.

Berner bowed to Asger and yelled, "Welcome, Dragonborn. Would you be interested in my mint-berry creamshake? Made in the bellies of the best pigs east of Valenwood, I do say so myself."

Asger nodded as he swam up. "Yes, I did feel a very bardic sense of dramatic tension up here. I thought we'd run into someone if we came this way."

Anyanava looked over at Asger. "I do not fully understand. We…came over here to drink something?" She looked back in the opposite direction. "But…our war is that way."

Asger pulled her closer to Berner. "Yana, I'm sorry but this is your initiation into our group. Everyone drinks this at least once before doing a spit-take after finding out what's in it."

She looked questioningly up at Asger before looking over at Berner. "So…am I to consume this Bosmer then?"

Berner looked shocked. "Wait…what?" He looked over at me like this was seriously going to happen. "Look, Dragonborn's woman…If I ever did anything to upset you…"

I suppressed the urge to crack him in the nose and instead sighed in contempt. "She's not going to eat you…idiot." I mumbled to myself. Of course, I doubt he'd die anyway. He'd probably return as a ghost and still try to get me to drink pig urine.

Ruby was still fascinated with the idea of Berner being here. "Wait…so…you came down here because you heard that _I_ was down here?"

Berner nodded. "It didn't seem stalker-ish in my mind until you said it like that." But then he shrugged and opened a small purse-like bag. "Now, gather around everyone. The first glass is free."

When he pulled his hand out of the bag, a giant keg almost as big as him slid out of the tiny bag. It had to be one of the astral bags that Ruby had. But… I thought she had the only one. Maybe more were being created now.

Asger shoved Anyanava towards Berner and said, "Go…drink." He added a hint of eeriness to his voice, making it seem like it was a death request. I knew better.

Anyanava seemed less sure now but she directed her large black eyes over to Berner. When she swam up to him, he stuck out a round bubble with a sippy top. You know, one of those baby bottle tops. He was basically handing her a bottle.

Anyanava took the bubble and brought it to her mouth. I watched as the green liquid went into the tube and then watched as the liquid in the bottle disappear. When Anyanava finished, she pushed the bubble back to Berner and nodded. "Thank you, that was most delicious. I wish to know: you said that this drink came from the insides of what I believe may be an animal; hinting at that taste of what I know to be meat. It is true that this beverage was designed inside the belly of an animal?"

Berner nodded. "Why yes, my lovely. I have designed the only soluble alcoholic beverage from the stomach acids of a pig. This base is what I use to create all sorts of alcoholic beverages. Now, I do alcoholic creams. Quite good, right?"

Anyanava nodded. "Quite so. May I ask: Can I try one of these stomachs of these, how do you say, 'pigs'?"

Berner froze in his spot. "You wish…to eat…a stomach with the paste inside it?" When Anyanava nodded, Berner smiled even deeper. "You know how much work that would take off my hands?" He nodded, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "By the Gods, yes."

Anyanava looked down at Berner's hand and stuck out her own. She shook her hand in the water and then smiled. Berner stood there in confusion before I leaned in and said, "That's how she understands shaking hands."

Berner nodded in return and brought his arm in. "That's rather something to think about, really." Then he reached into his bag and started pulling out a stomach. He handed it to Anyanava and said, "Here you go, my lovely. Try this out and see how you like it."

Anyanava didn't even bother to take it. She just leaned down and inhaled the stomach. I hadn't watched Lammer eat before but now I could see how they could eat Sven. When she opened her mouth, I saw razor-shape fangs and a jaw that stretched wide. The stomach flew into her mouth and she clamped down, chewing. She swallowed almost instantly and took a few seconds to do whatever it was that she was doing. When she was finally done thinking, she leaned up to Berner and smiled. "Your stomachs are tastier than your beverages. They will be very welcome among the White Water Foams Clan."

Berner nodded. "Why thank you, ma'am. I shall begin preparing my first delivery. How many orders am I taking?"

Hundreds of Lammer raised their hands, all crying out for some stomach. Anyanava smiled and tilted her head to the side. "I think you have your work cut out for you."

That's when it happened. She started wobbling. Her face looked completely passive and she started screeching out in what I thought was a drunken laugh. She fell forward (not sure how) and crashed onto Berner's market stand. "Wha…wha happened to my head. And my fins…they won't listen to me." Her voice came out with a light drunken slur.

Berner smiled. "First time drinker? Yeah, I guess you would be."

She smiled at him, poking him in the nose. "Boop." Then she laughed/screeched again. She rolled around in the water, almost making me lose it. "I don't know what is happening, but…I like it." She stopped rolling and looked over at Berner. "Can I give you a hug?" Berner nodded. So, Anyanava flew up into his face and started the Lammer version of a hug: the twisting/humping neck-kiss thing.

I was about to crack up over the look on Berner's face, but Ruby had to go and ruin my moment. "Asger, Asger." She said, pulling on Asger's sleeve. "Guess what. Lydia just gave her first bardic speech."

The look on Asger's face told me everything I had to know. He didn't believe Ruby. "What? Lydia…a bardic speech. Ruby…" He said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Those two concepts don't go together."

"But she said, 'I feel that'…" Ruby replied.

Maleek crossed his arms and scoffed. "I hate to admit it, but Furball is right. She did say the magic words."

Asger's face lit up with so much joy that I thought I was going to die. He flashed up to me, embracing me in some sort of whirlpool hug. I thought he was going to crush my spine. "Yay! Lydia gave her first bardic speech. I'm so proud!"

Geez, he made me feel like a baby talking for the first time. Hopefully…It will be the last.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yup, not sure how this chapter came out. To be honest, I'm still a little burnt out. Maybe I should have done this tomorrow, when i'll be much more rested. ANyway, night!_


	76. Ch 76: Morals and Extinction

**Cearbhail:** _A whole month and this is all I get? I'm sorry, truly sorry. But, I do remember that this story is still very close to ending. Of course immediately I will be opening the sequel. I already have some new characters and a good beginning theme for it. I now have a reason for the story as well. And that will be obvious enough. But I will need a reminder so... Ruby's birthday. Ok, that should be enough for me. Well, anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal, after we watched a drunk Anyanava roll around the ocean for a few hours, we finally split our armies up again and my team started heading to Icicle Sky. For once our journey was quiet. Nothing major happened. Ruby and Maleek continued to argue with each other and the Lammer continued to click at each other in their own unique language. Honestly, it was a little boring._

_I've had time to think about stuff, like my 'romance' with Asger. I used to feel so strongly for him but for a while now, I've just been going through the motions. Maybe I need to take a week off with him and just go somewhere where we can relax by ourselves. Of course, that would mean putting the end of the world on pause and stop creating problems for everyone in Skyrim. I don't know if I can give all that up for six or so days. Alduin might come back any day and attack us. We have to be ready-ish. But still, a nice dinner or something._

_Other than that, I've been thinking about Cecilie, the cryptic warnings she throws at me every once in a while about my death. Maybe I should just flat-out ask her. It has to be bothering her and just telling me how I die might prevent it. Well, I'm going to ask her when I get back from this. No more secrets._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The town of Icicle Sky was a sight to behold. It was a massive round iceberg frozen against a seaside cliff. We were close to the surface and I could see the Aurora Borealis through the ocean's 'sky'. The water surrounding Icicle Sky were cold, almost freezing, but I could manage. I couldn't live here, that's for sure. Way too cold. It would be a wonderful spot to bring Asger for a date, though. Hmm…date. I don't think Asger and I have ever been on one. We did go on a cruise, though. And that ended with a village of zombies. I just have good things in my life.

As we swam closer to the Icicle Sky, I could see the massive hollowed out area that was the center for the town. They really did a lot to make this a town of their own. It was one of the biggest towns I've ever seen. Bigger than Solitude and Whiterun put together. The center of the town was towards the top of the iceberg. The reason was simple. There was a huge hole in the town that led straight to the surface. It let in the beautiful rainbow light that helped illuminate the whole town. And actually, the center of the town was actually quite warm. I don't know how or why, but the water was not freezing or even cold. The surrounding ice with the sunlight must have kept it warm enough to keep from freezing. Or maybe I was just adjusting to it. It could also be the sunstone Ruby gave me. Probably that one.

But we weren't here for sightseeing. We were here to kill Dreugh. But…they were already dead. Untouched dead bodies floated all around the town with no signs of any dead Lammer. Well, once we made sure the whole town was secured, my army did its cleanup job and ate all the corpses. Such majestic creatures the Lammer are, when they aren't scarfing down giant lobsters with the finesse of a piranha. While the Lammer consumed the remains of the dead Dreugh, I gathered Ruby and Maleek together to see what happened here.

"So, what happened here?" I asked Ruby and Maleek. I know, really obvious question.

Maleek rubbed his arms and his chest. He was turning a pale blue. Maybe it wasn't so warm in here after all. "You feel how cold it is in here? I'm cold-blooded. I could probably only survive a day here."

Ruby shoved one of her sunstones at him. "If you took the sunstone, you'd be just fine!"

Maleek hissed at her and shoved it back. "Keep your witchcraft away from me."

"It's not witchcraft…It's shamanism!" Ruby screamed at him. She spun away from him, crossing her arms. "Forget it; trying to explain the difference to you would be like explaining the different between breathing air and breathing water for you."

"Guys." I said, trying to get them to focus back on our topic. "Ok, it's cold here. But why would that matter?"

"Is that a crack on my ability to breathe both air and water? Are you jealous? Do you wish you could breathe underwater?" Maleek started, swimming around Ruby to see her eye-to-eye.

"What? Me, jealous of being able to breathe underwater? Why would I want to spend any time at all underwater? My fur is going to smell horrible once we get out of here. Not to mention all the blood that's probably been soaked in. Yuck…I hope I don't have to lick it out. I think I'd rather shave myself."

Maleek groaned and closed his eyes in dismay. "Oh gods, don't put that visual in my head."

"What? Me shaving or me licking?" Ruby sniped.

"Neither. I was talking about looking at your face!" Maleek sniped back.

It was at this time that I swam away from them. I started counting down the seconds before I heard Ruby scream, "Oh that's it!" Then she tackled him and the two of them started rolling around the water. Soon they would wear themselves out and then they'd be pissy for the next few hours. They probably wouldn't look at each other, curse around each other, and then Ruby would start making small-talk and then they'd go back to being slightly hateful of each other again.

So, while the two of them rolled around, I decided to ask one of the pod leaders about their opinion about what happened here. I just wanted to see if we needed to prepare for a second assault or if we could just rendezvous with Asger and Anyanava.

I looked around and saw one of the leaders clicking orders to a bunch of Lammer tearing apart a dead Dreugh. When he saw me coming, he turned to look at me, bowing awkwardly. "Lady Nord. What are our orders? Are we to move out now, or should we perhaps begin settling our refugees?"

"I actually wanted to ask a question. But since you asked; begin securing each house before reintroducing the remaining families back into their homes. We will leave them to do their own…funeral rights. Once we know this place is secure, we'll leave a few pods to watch over the town. Then we'll leave for our next destination: Crossing Currents. Once we rendezvous with everyone else, we'll take the Northern Current to exit 3 and then invade the Dreugh Capital. From there…it's anyone's guess." I still had some hang-ups about what we were going to do to end this war. I meant that for the whole thing. War, tragedies, epics. All three of those things involved irreplaceable loss and morally questionable decisions. I wonder when it will come to that. What will we lose, and what will we decide to do?

The Lammer Wave General nodded to me, turning to some Lammer. He clicked out his orders and his pods all took off to do whatever it was that he said. When he turned to me, he nodded. "You had a question, Lady Nord?"

I sighed and rubbed my nose. "My name is Lydia! Call me Lady Lydia if you feel, but don't call me 'Lady Nord'. And, I wanted to know, what killed the Dreugh. Oh and…what's your name?"

The Lammer tilted his head to the side. I was getting used to understanding that's what Lammer do when they think about something, as opposed to being just confused. "We inspected the bodies before we consumed them. Their bodies froze; their hearts stopped flowing blood. They are cold-blooded, after all. They ruined the town and then forgot to leave. Maybe they grew too slow to escape. But whatever it was, it killed them. They died from over-exposure to cold water. That's why Okaazstrunzii uses ice-based Shouts on them. It cools down the water enough that it forces all Dreugh to slow enough to die. So, am I to guess that if we could block out the sun again…just for a day or so…we could kill off all the Dreugh?"

He sounded so happy about the thought that…it scared me a little. He was a warrior now, a leader of warriors, and he just found the Dreugh's weakness. He could commit genocide against every Dreugh alive. I don't know if I should reward his thought process or berate him on it. They were at war of survival. This was the morally questionable choices I was talking about. And he was thinking of making one. Either way, we couldn't act on it. The weapon that did block out the sun was destroyed. It was no more.

"I guess that's a possibility. But, isn't that a bit harsh?" I asked him.

He looked at me with his wide unblinking eyes. "Harsh? They killed villages of our race. They have no objections to killing us, why should we have objections of returning what they give? If we could end this here and now, why not? The only end result would be that no more of my family would be killed by an eight-limbed one the following morning, or that no village would be invaded. If you think pushing them back to their homeland will end this, then you must be young in the head."

I couldn't help but feel a little sullen inside. He was right, I was already coming to that conclusion. They would not stop once they had the edge. I bet the Lammer were going to finish the Dreugh while they had the chance to. If I got to drive the Thalmor out of Skyrim, would I let them go on? No, they'd only return with more numbers. The Dreugh might do the same. I had my decision now. Extermination to the highest degree. Somehow, I didn't feel good about this. Something felt wrong.

My thoughts were broken when Ruby and Maleek's screams died off. I was so used to hearing them argue that not hearing them argue was odd. So, I spun around to see what the two of them were doing that was so quiet.

They were not too far from me, so I know I wasn't seeing this wrong. And…I don't think I'm insane. Or dreaming. In fact, I was in such a sullen state that I was very sure that what I saw was real. Ruby and Maleek were locked in each other's faces, kissing. Maleek had Ruby pulled as close to him as possible, actually locking her mouth to his. They weren't moving at all. Well, Ruby had one of her arms flailing around in the water, like she didn't know what to do with it, but Maleek was definitely keeping her locked in with both hands.

So, I spun myself around to give them their privacy. I couldn't believe they were finally kissing. Maybe all they needed was one big fight before they could ever be that close to each other. I mean, I knew they had some mutual thing for each other and in their own twisted way cared about the other, but this? Wow, this was a giant step forward. Or maybe…no, it couldn't be that. But what if it was?

I turned myself around to see what Ruby was doing with her free arm. She had her eyes glued shut and her arms was fidgeting around like it was feeling for something. As I looked closer, I could see that Ruby reaching out for a floating necklace of turquoise. Ah, I was right. They weren't kissing; Maleek was giving her air while she fussed to get her necklace back. It must have fallen off while they were fighting. I could tell that by how Ruby was barely trying to get the necklace back that she probably threw it off herself just to get Maleek to share his air with her. Sneaky Khajiit. This was probably another one of her plans to get Maleek to kiss her. Like the one on the island that involved her being dead. … I forgot, I was supposed to forget any of that ever happened.

The Lammer Wave General was still standing near me. He looked over at Maleek and Ruby, tilting his head to the side. "I was beginning to wonder if they were going to shut up. It does look refreshing to see budding relationships during times of war." Then he looked over at me. "It does make me think, though. Many Dreugh are much like us, in ways of culture and family ties. I would feel bad if they killed us all off as well. All our culture wiped out, forever forgotten. If we exterminate the Dreugh, it will be because of us. No one will ever see another because we made it happen. What if somewhere down the line, they might have a purpose…and we just killed them off. Whatever purpose they served would be ruined. No, we cannot exterminate them. For now, we will push them back to their own waters. If they return, we will continue to push them back until it is inevitable. If they need to die for there to be peace, then it shall be so. But first…let us try it your way." He looked over at me and attempted at a smile.

The way he said it, it made me feel better as well. The Aldmeri Dominion was a threat, but if we could eliminate all their resources and captured nations, excluding their own, would they still be a threat? I do not know for I have not seen just how this war will end up yet. I'm sure I will understand what needs to be done once we finish here.

"Ruby…I can't keep breathing forever. Grab the damn necklace." Maleek screamed into Ruby's mouth.

"You know you like it." She replied.

That's when Maleek pushed her off and crossed his arms. "Ok, no. I'm just going to stand here and watch you drown now."

Ruby clutched at her throat for a second before smiling. Then she reached for something behind her back and pulled out a small turquoise gemstone. She smiled at Maleek and chuckled. "Oops, I forgot I had this in my back pouch. Silly me." She said, holding onto it while she reached for her necklace.

The look on Maleek's face was almost just as priceless. He looked so shocked that he couldn't believe that Ruby just tricked him again. He finally growled at her, screaming, "Well, that's the last time I try to save you!"

Ruby only smiled, leaning closer to him. "I doubt that. Despite everything you say, Maleek, I know you care about me. You'd never just let me drown underwater."

"You don't know that!" Maleek screamed back.

"You cried for me at my funeral, you even kissed me goodbye. I bet if I tossed this stone out of my hands and let out my breath…I bet you'd save me." She went on to say, ignoring Maleek's protest.

Of course, she didn't wait for Maleek to protest. She actually dropped the stone and her necklace. At first Maleek looked stoic and uncaring. He shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm not buying it. I bet you have a third one on you somewhere."

Ruby smiled for a second. When a giant air bubble flew out of her mouth, I could see Ruby attempting to cough. She clawed at her throat for a few seconds and then her body stopped moving.

Maleek was still standing there. He smiled, saying, "Stop goofing off, Furball. I don't like your jokes." Ruby still wasn't moving and her body was now starting to float down. That's when I saw Maleek's worry. He acted fast. He flew right into her, breathing into her mouth again. I saw Ruby's arms jolt and she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as closely as she could. Maleek spun both her and him around so that he could look at me.

"Lydia! Don't just stand there, get her necklace." He screamed at me through Ruby's mouth.

So, I flashed as fast as I could and grabbed the necklace before it disappeared completely. Why the hell would Ruby do something like this? I can understand tricking Maleek into kissing her, but to prove a point by attempting to kill herself? That was all sorts of messed up.

When I had my hand on the necklace, I flashed up to Ruby, throwing it around her neck. Maleek pushed her away as fast as he could, still holding onto her. He slapped her so hard that I could feel the shockwave through the water. "What the hell were you thinking?!" He screamed to her.

Ruby looked happy. "I was thinking: I know Maleek will save me. Because he loves me."

Maleek pulled her in for a hug. "If I say it, will you stop this?"

Ruby nodded. "Yes. If you say it, I will stop."

"Fine then. Furball, if you ever pull something like this ever again, I will kill you myself."

Ruby smiled. "I knew it. You love me."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Ha! I wonder how many people thought Maleek and Ruby were kissing the first time. And, before anyone asks, she had a third one in her back pouch. It was already activated. She pretended to drown. Bards are good actors, if not overly dramatic about it. Of course, something's going to have to happen now. Ruby and Maleek are getting way too close. Something's gotta give and since I kinda screwed up the whole epic love story between Asger and Lydia...I have to fill it with something. so, I wonder what I can do to make it epic._


	77. Ch 77: Captain Morgan

**Cearbhail:** _A wonderful chapter. It came out so well. Well, anyway. I do have some news. I will be starting a new story, on top of another new story. One will be about Ruby and Maleek and his adventure to save her from her slavers. Do not be confused, it will happen again. And I will be starting an Assassin's Creed story that will be very much like this story: random and with crazy characters. As well as Robin Hood and Little Red. Going to be a fun time, I can tell._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So, today was something. I got to see perhaps the most beautiful scene of my life: a floating city made in ice. The buildings were combinations of ice/rock/and metal pulled off of ships. The town square was somewhat warm and it had the most beautiful view of the surrounding city center. The way the sunlight drifting in through the hole leading to the surface reflected into the center of the town, illuminating the whole town in bright rainbow light…is amazing._

_While I did enjoy the beautiful view of the town, I was filled with a conundrum with exactly where this war was heading for. I mean, we found the town already cleared of Dreugh; they all died in the freezing water. And this brought up a genius idea of… let's make all the water colder so that they all die. Mass extinction. And I wasn't sure how I should have felt about it. But while I'm involved as a combatant, this is not my war. I have no say in what happens, I can only offer my support._

_There was something else that happened: Maleek and Ruby kissed. I mean tricked-kissed…again. Ruby tried to trick Maleek into loving her again. I think it's starting to rub off on him because he's getting so flustered around her that he forgets to torture her. It's cute…in a crazy stupid kinda way. We've finally left the floating city of Icicle Sky and are heading towards Crossing Currents. It's the Lammer version on intersecting roads, only these two currents travel over their entire colony. It's primarily how they settled their lands in the first place. The currents flow from warmer waters and so it keeps their part of the ocean warmer too. Which is a problem since the Dreugh like warm water too._

_Anyway, we're here and waiting for Asger and Farengar before we move on to our final destination: Final Destination. Yeah, that's what they call the Dreugh's homeland. Whoever goes there…doesn't come back. We'll be the firsts._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I thought the Crossing Currents would be somewhat impressive and it is. There are not just two currents, but layers and layers of currents, undercurrents, everything in between. The currents were huge, as round as forts, it's amazing. Honestly, I'm surprised I've never heard about these currents. And the way that all these currents merge into a giant cyclone that splits off into the hundreds of other currents. That and the other smaller town built inside the eye of the cyclone, only as big as Windhelm. That and it's one of their more modern towns. Well, was. Now it's rubble. This was the settlement with no survivors. The Dreugh just swarmed over the whole area and washed over them. The town was so big that there's even a small settlement around the outskirts of these crossing currents, far enough away from the cyclone to not be disturbed. The town and all its outskirts are called…Crossing Currents. I know, so original. Well, it was a town, now it's a graveyard. Everything was wiped out.

With my army alone, we could possibly invade the Dreugh homeland but I doubt we'd make it very far. Well, I'm sure my friends would somehow survive and we'd somehow pull through a miracle. Maybe their town will be infested with oil from an oil spill from some Dwemer ruin and then Ruby would somehow shoot a Fireball underwater, lighting the whole town up into a massive fireball, melting all the ice above us that would float down and destroy the Dreugh town. Then they'd all scatter or freeze. I doubt it would be something so simple, yet I bet it wouldn't be any less confusing and dramatic. No! I'M NOT A BARD!

Presently, I was floating/sitting on top of a building outside the cyclone. I was waiting for someone to come by. I kept my eye out for any sign of Asger or just any massive Lammer army. Ruby was trying to talk to Maleek, who was annoying Ruby. She was attempting to get him to talk to her, but he was still pretty sore about her making him kiss her. I bet he'd be like this for another two days before returning to being his normal loud-mouthed self. I'm just glad Ruby found a way to keep him quiet, even though it probably hurts her to use him over and over again with no growing fondness. Well, some maybe. I'm sure he likes her, just too proud to admit it.

I watched as the two of them went back and forth with a semi-civil conversation. It was nice to see them at least trying to get along. The two of them floated along what used to be a farmland, it seems. They were helping some Lammer bury some of their uneatable dead. The bodies had floated for too long, even the Lammer wouldn't consume them. Yuck, I would never think of eating something that looked human-ish, even elvish. But to watch them swarm over every lying corpse makes me feel sick to my stomach. But now I see that they have actual guidelines about eating their own kind. Only if it's fresh or Dreugh. Because the water was so cold, the Dreugh was preserved enough that the Lammer could eat it without becoming too ill.

As the Lammer were finishing up their burial ceremonies, the pod leader I talked to in Icicle Sky started to float up to me. I watched as we quickly swam up to me. I nodded him a welcome, saying, "Well, what's the news?"

"We have buried our uneatable. We are still waiting for any word from Clan Mother." He said as he floated up next to me. He paused for a second and I could hear a minor ring in my ears. When the ringing stopped, he looked down at me and smiled. "Clan Mother has finished her battle. She will be here shortly. In an hour, perhaps." He paused again, nodding. "Sheogalinda is finished with hers as well. She is on her way with your other team. They will arrive in two hours. We still have time to wait. Is there anything you wish to do?"

I groaned as I attempted to lie down on the building. "We're stuck here for two hours." I looked up at the surface of the water, at the sun that was barely staring down at us. "If I have to be down here for two hours, I think I want to breathe some air for a while."

Ruby swam up next to me. "Can I come?" She cried out. "I really want some dry fur."

I nodded to her and started swimming for the surface. "Sure. We'll make a campfire." I looked back down at Maleek. "Maleek! Call us when Asger arrives."

He nodded to me and started clicking to some Lammer. I guess he had learned how to communicate with them. It just continued to amaze me how fast he had adapted to being down here. It looked like he belonged, while I was still struggling to deal with pruned fingers and my inability to swim. Sure, I had flippers on but that only let me move a little quicker than I was before.

I paused and looked down at the pod leader. I still didn't know his name and if I left before asking, I would only later forget to ask it again. I mean, I could let it go and then maybe he'd just vanish. I might never see him again, but if I knew his name, there was at least a chance that I'd see him again, being a main character and all. "What's your name?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Ronkaviena Na'Shienklu." He nodded before continuing, "Of Crossing Currents."

"I thought no one survived." I said.

He nodded. "I was at the Capital when it happened. Everyone that was buried here were once my friends and family." He turned away from me before saying, "What has happened here will not happen again. We now know how to fight and we'll make sure we'll be ready for any invasion for now on."

So, I started swimming to the surface with Ruby beside me. I couldn't wait to feel that freezing cold air on my face, to breathe real air, to feel that warm sun on my skin. And most importantly of all, to brush my hair clean. I have needs.

I paused as I saw something on the surface moving towards us. It looked like a giant ship was heading towards us. Ruby floated up beside me, smiling. "Ooh, a ship! I bet they have a fireplace!"

I nodded to her, saying, "I wonder who's onboard. I know at least one ship captain." And knowing what I know, I'm sure I'd run into him over someone else. I looked back at Ruby asking, "So, feel like going up to see? Worst comes to worse, we may have to fight pirates."

I saw Ruby scowl. "Pirates, I hate pirates. Let's go." She swam past me, swimming right up to the ship.

I followed from behind, keeping up with Ruby, who was swimming like a bag of rocks. When I caught up with her, I grabbed her arm and started pulling her up with me. I could already see the sun through the waves. Now all we had to do was…

My foot was suddenly caught in something. I looked down but I didn't see anything. I heard Ruby cry out in alarm. She was fidgeting around, trying to pull her leg out of something. At closer inspection, I could see a net underneath us. It was being pulled up. I looked up to see that the net was all around us and we were caught in it. I rolled my eyes as I sat back and let the net close around me and Ruby. Why bother fighting it? This is normal stuff for us.

As we broke the surface, I could see the faces of the sailors. They went from excited to bewildered. That went to shock and then back to excitement. "Oh, a woman! I haven't seen one of those in months!"

Oh boy..

I looked down at Ruby and said, "You may want to disappear into your bag."

She sighed, leaning back. "I didn't bring it. Maleek is carrying it for me."

Maleek! Of course. I pulled out my sword and my journal.

_Dammit, Maleek, you better read this!_

_We're captured on a pirate vessel and they're looking at us like we're new shiny toys. Come up here and get us before they come get us!_

_Signed, Lydia._

I ripped the page from my journal and I tied it onto the sword. I tossed the sword out through the hole and watched as it disappeared into the water. I sure hope Maleek got that note soon. I looked back up at the sailors, seeing their extremely hopeful stares. Dammit. I might have to kill them.

Ruby looked over at me, her expression deadpanned. "You could have cut through the net, you know."

I sighed and grabbed onto the net. I've seen these ropes before, on the pirate ship with the questionable captain. "No, I couldn't. These nets are enchanted, you can't cut through them."

As we finally cleared the ocean, the fish lining the bottom of the net started freaking out, trying to squirm out through the holes. I felt a giant tuna slap me across the face several times before I felt the net land on the deck. Then the net opened, up, I was already being grabbed by one of the sailors. I groaned. He was going to be the first one to die then.

"Why, hello." He said to me, trying to act like he wasn't excited to see me. "What were you doing in the middle of the ocean?"

I shrugged. "Helping mermaids with a territory war with Dreugh."

He nodded. "Ok…" He looked down at Ruby, his eyes narrowing. "You look familiar."

She glared up at him, her eyes narrowing as well. "You're…" She started, pointing at his face.

"Hey, it's the little dancer!" One of the Redguards started, almost chuckling. "Looks like she's doing pretty well for herself."

"Little dancer?" I asked, looking over at Ruby. She looked paralyzed. "Ruby? Are these guys?"

I watched as her eyes drifted across everyone's faces. "It's them." She said. "These are my slavers!" She cried, unsheathing her claws.

I looked around, still being grabbed by one of the sailors. I spun around him, clocking him in the face. He cried out in pain, grabbing his busted nose. He screamed out as he stumbled off the deck, falling into the ocean.

Ruby cried out in alarm. I spun to see what went wrong. She had the net wrapped up around her. Then she was suddenly hulled up into the air as several of the pirates pulled on the rope. So, now it was just me.

All the pirates circled around me, their swords unsheathed. I brought my fist up. "I can easily sink this whole ship with a punch to the deck. Don't make me do it."

"My, my. What's going on up here?" A lispy voice called from the captain's cabin.

I paused. I knew that voice. From Captain…something, Isran's brother. Wow, I had no idea he was the captain of a sex slave operation. That just seems…so out of character for him. When I saw his giant shining bald head moving through the crowd, I knew that I was going to have a hard time escaping.

He finally brushed through the crowd. Yup, it was the same captain. Captain Morgan Fairchild. It amazed me just how much like Isran he looked, only his beard was better trimmed. Well, that and he wore very tight leather clothes with a draping overcoat. He looked over at me and he broke out in a smile. "Oh, Lydia, darling!" He cried out, but froze, clearing his voice. "I mean, hello, Lady Battle-Born. Long time no see. Where's your strapping…I mean, well-built fiancé?"

I lowered my fist for a second before I thought better of it. "So, you're in league with Redguard slavers?"

He glanced at me for a second before saying, "What? Me? Lydia…I don't do slavery, I do piracy. I steal things that tickle my fancy. I mean…I like shiny things."

His crew started rolling their eyes and finally his overly butch first-mate walked up to him and said, "Sir, we caught this Khajiit in our net. According to her, some of our crew members are slavers that were trying to sell her off."

Captain Morgan looked up the dangling Ruby. He nodded, saying, "Is this true, honey? Did some of these men do bad things to you?"

Ruby nodded. "Yes, and I'm willing to point them out."

Captain Morgan was about to say something but two cutlasses burst out of his chest. He gasped out in surprise before crying out, "No, not blood on my cashmere vest! That will never come out!" He fell to the ground, still gasping out in pain. His first-mate spun around just in time to get stabbed as well.

I flashed forward to attack, but I felt something tighten around my feet. I was suddenly upside down, dangling five feet off the ground. I groaned as I rocked side-to-side, watching the pirates surround us.

One of the shirtless Dunmer walked up to me, scratching his bald head with his cutlass. "What are we going to do with them?"

One of the Alik'r slavers crossed his arms when he regarded me. "This Nord woman is too old and ugly to fetch a price. Not to mention, she's violent. I saw we slit her throat and toss her to the Void." Then he looked over at Ruby. "And as for our little prize, we'll take her back to Hammerfell. We do have this ship now, borders won't be a problem. And I'm sure we'll get a very nice price for her."

Ruby snarled at him. "You think I'm going back in that cage! I'll kill you first."

The Alik'r snarled back. "We broke your spirit more than once, I'm sure we'll make you docile again."

Ruby sighed in contempt. I watched as the Dunmer walked up to me, leveling his cutlass at my throat. "Have any last words?" He asked me with his one good eye. I spat in it as a reply. He cried out in alarm and stepped backwards toward the edge of the ship. I sure hope he fell overboard. But he didn't. He paused and wiped his eye clean, giving me the look of death. "I'm going to kill you slowly now."

I heard a sickening pop. The Dunmer's face dropped and his arms became lifeless. He suddenly fell forward, a dagger sticking in his back. I could see Maleek's head poking over the edge of the ship. He looked over at me and then scanned the rest of the boat. "Where's Ruby?"

"I'm up here!" She screamed from above me.

He glanced up at her and then looked around. "I heard these pirates say that they were the ones keeping you captive. Which one is there leader?"

The Alik'r stepped forward. "I am! What's a lizard like you going to do anyway? We're pirates! You can't kill pirates!"

"I'm the closest thing to a ninja in this place!" Maleek screamed back. "And there's only one of me. Right now…I'm invincible." He flashed/pulled his way up, flying through the first six pirates. They all cried out in pain as their legs suddenly fell underneath them.

I felt my rope loosen and I tucked my head as I came crashing back down. I rolled up onto the balls of my feet, still bound together. I jumped/rolled back as a pirate slashed at my neck. I flicked my legs up and flashed them just fast enough that the rope still bound to my legs became a whip. The whip struck the pirate in the face and he stumbled back. I heard someone cocking a crossbow and I rolled forward, evading a few bolts that flowed right across my head. The pirate I had just whipped in the face cried out in pain as he gestured to his thighs. Both thighs had bolts sticking out of them.

"My thighs! They're in the bone…they're in the bone!" He cried in pain as he rolled across the floor.

I heard Ruby cry out in alarm as her net suddenly fell down. I tried to stand up to stop it, but Maleek was already ahead of me. He ran up the mast, grabbed onto it, and waited. Once the net came close to him, he flashed off, flying right through the net. He came flying through the other side, landing with Ruby wrapped up in his arms. He set her down gently before turning to face the Alik'r slaver.

With a flick of his wrists, two new daggers popped up. He brought them up in a defensive stance. "Whatcha going to do now?" Maleek asked.

I severely wanted to help, but I had somehow gotten my entire body wrapped up in my rope when I rolled forward. I was inching forward using my shoulders as I tried to get a better angle to see the unfolding fight.

The Alik'r scowled and looked over at Ruby. He pointed at her and said, "This is not over, little cub! You've killed most of my men and now…this is personal. I will get you for this! Believe it!" He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small pellet. He looked over at Maleek and said, "You can either kill me, or…let your Nord friend die!" He tossed the pellet towards me and then took off running to a lifeboat.

Maleek pushed to follow him, and to be honest…I felt a little betrayed. But, Ruby grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back. "No! Go save Lydia!" She cried.

He looked over at her to see that she was just as much wrapped up in netting as I was a rope. He groaned and even had time to roll his eyes before he flashed forward towards me. He reappeared just inches away from my face and batted at the pellet. It flew over the side of the ship and exploded into a massive blast of fire.

I sighed in relief, smiling up at Maleek. "Thanks!" I screamed to him as he took off in the opposite direction to go stop the Alik'r, who was now probably just sailing away from the ship.

"No!" Ruby cried again. "Go heal Captain whatever-his-name-is's wounds. He's still alive, I can tell!"

Maleek paused. "What? I'm not a healer!"

"I am! Untie me!" She cried back.

Maleek looked conflicted for a second, pausing to look back at the escaping Alik'r and then back at Ruby. He finally sighed as he trudged off to get her untied. "You do realize he's getting away!" He groaned as he started freeing her from the rope.

Ruby smiled and hugged him while he did so. "I'm sure you'll be there to protect me when he does come back."

He only grunted in reply. "There, you're free. Go do your healing thing, now. I'm going to get Lydia untied."

Ruby smiled as she stood up and kissed Maleek on the cheek. "Thanks, Maleek."

He grunted again. "Just go before he dies."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **So, it's begun. And yes, this is only the beginning of this story. The rest will continue after the Chronicles of Lydia is over. ANd that story will lead into the Chronicles of Ruby and so on and so forth. That new Assassin's Creed story will be up within a month. I need time to catch up on my Rogue SHadowscale first._


	78. Ch 78: Equilibrium

**Cearbhail:** _New chapter. I was going to do so much more of these during spring break but I have been spending more time with the family. Good times. Well, it's about time we wrap up this war, right? Well, here's the start of it.._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_So much has happened in the past two hours. We buried all the dead of Crossing Currents, got bored, boarded a pirate vessel, got captured, finally met Ruby's old slavers, got captured, broke loose, got captured, Maleek went all assassin on everyone, I got loose, got tangled, and finally, Ruby kissed Maleek. They had a special moment where he promised that he'd protect her from her slavers if they ever returned, they kissed, and then we had tea and biscuits with the ship captain: Captain Morgan._

_While we were there Captain Morgan found out that Ruby was an outfit designer so he went into her bag and looked through her clothes. He came out an hour later wearing a duster with green glowing tribal marks on it. It's that Vale deer fur that Ruby caught so long ago. She made herself a new tunic and battle-skirt while she was down there. It looks amazing but somehow she got hers to glow pink and not green like the Captain's._

_Once we were done with our meet-and-greet with Captain Morgan, we dove back underwater to find that everyone was waiting for us. We hopped into the current that lead to Final Destination and now we're just floating along. We're about to end this, hopefully. I mean, I want to get back home and get this meeting underway. I'm sure everyone is worried sick about us. It's been almost a week since we vanished in Riverwood._

_But anyway, I know Farengar has been keeping everyone in touch with what's going on. Apparently, everyone is still in Whiterun. Everyone in Skyrim's higher social order is going to discuss what to do about the Thalmor. We're going to kick them out, maybe, or just make them give up all their power over us. If we can, we're going to get them to give up their hold over the Empire too. It'll be great! The leaders of Skyrim are waiting for us to return because they can't do this meeting without Asger. They need the Dragonborn to be there…for some reason. Oh, and the Graybeards and the Blades have come up with a way to follow Alduin, even though he's gone to Sovngarde. And it doesn't involve killing Asger. I guess that's important too._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I closed my journal and rubbed my eyes. Everything was spinning round and round. I felt it coming up. The hot pain grew in my throat and my head felt light and disconnected from my body. My throat tensed up and my stomach pushed forward. I couldn't stop it. I let myself hurl as I spun myself around. I didn't want it to crash into my face. Better that someone behind me deals with this. I heard Ruby cry out in alarm as I did so. Oops…this seems to happen to her way too often.

It wasn't like I could stop it. This current was a giant spiral. While we flew through the ocean at a hyper speed that made everything look blurry, it was also spinning inside at a crazy-rapid rate. It didn't seem to bother the Lammer or Maleek because they were designed for the ocean, but my ears and equilibrium were going crazy. We kept spinning and spinning. I get sick sitting in a carriage. So, how does being in a spiral whirlpool current help? As I started thinking about the spinning vortex of a current, I felt it coming up again and I prayed that Ruby would forgive me for this. I hurled again and Ruby was crying in alarm…again. Maleek groaned out in disgust this time too.

"Dammit, Lydia! If you're going to vomit like that get to the back of the line!" Maleek screamed.

My reply was another hurl before turning to face Maleek. "I can't swim in this current! Why don't you get in front of me?!"

So, Maleek grabbed Ruby's hand and used his tail to sail in front of me. Ruby glared at me resentfully before rubbing her face on Maleek's hand. "Ruby!" Maleek spat out. "Don't rub that nasty on my claw!"

"That's not why I was doing it!" Ruby cried out.

I fought my vomit as the world continued to spin around me. I sure hoped this was over soon. So, I spun myself to look at Anyanava. "Yana, … are we there yet?"

She looked over at me, all sympathy on her gilly face. "We'll get there…when we get there."

"How long is when we get there?" I asked as vomit flew out of my mouth. Oh gods…there's nothing left.. I'm dry-heaving.

She shrugged. "Six hours, perhaps."

Oh gods…why…

…

"Lydia, wake up. We're here."

Asger's light cooing voice seemed to rouse me from whatever horrifying nightmare I was living in. When I opened my eyes, I could see ten Asgers and Rubys standing in front of me. They danced around in circles in my vision and I felt myself preparing to vomit. My face puckered out and Ruby had enough sense to scream and flounder away before I spat out in Asger's face.

I have to admit, he took it like a man. By Fus-ing it back in my face. That jerk.

When that had finally passed, he sat there, patting my back while my inner ear settled down. I got a good look while I waited there. It was a graveyard of sunken ships with holes blown into the hulls. They looked old, Dunmer in design. Most of them looked like Alik'r pirating vessels but had that Dunmer edge to them that made them so much more. Remembering what I knew about history, the Alik'r of the past used to transport slaves on vessels like this, selling them to the Dunmer. They prettied up their own vessels so that the Dunmer would be more approachable to them. Good business sense when dealing with the stubborn Dunmer.

When I finally settled, I looked over at Asger. "What happened? I remember asking a question and then…you're telling me we're here."

Asger smiled. "You totally passed out. Your face flushed of color, some blood leaked from your nose, and the Lammer considered eating you for a minute. I convinced them that you were too tough to eat. All that stress probably ruined your organs too."

"Gee, thanks." I replied, deadpanned.

"Not to mention all that chocolate you eat and coffee you drink. Your blood pressure is probably through the stratosphere."

"Thanks, Asger."

"And to be honest, I'm sure that.."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT MY TASTY BODY!" I screamed at him. He smiled from ear –to-ear, making me think that he was intentionally getting on my nerves. I finally sighed and patted him on his shoulder. "Sorry, but…don't talk about me like I'm a snack."

He nodded. "Kay. I'm sure that you'd taste nasty anyway. Well, there is one part of your body that tastes pretty good." Oh dear gods…don't go there.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Ok, whatever. At least I have some meat on my bones. You don't have any meat at all."

He looked down at his scrawny arms and legs. "What's wrong with me? I'm as fit as they come." He said, striking a pose that looked weird on him. It would suit a well-built man but for him it looked just sad and pitiful. He finally stopped posing before he looked around at everything. I had no idea what was going on in his head but he nodded to himself, like he was sure of something. "A dramatic speech is about to happen. I must be a part of it."

I was about to ask him but I could see Ruby swimming off as well. "I must see this!"

I looked around. Well, I was part bard, why didn't I feel the mood of a dramatic speech building? Ok, Lydia, you can do this… hopefully not, but you should be able to do this. Ok, we have water…lots of it. Yeah, that's good, water is very necessary for this. Um…we have sunlight breaking the surface… sure, that's good. Massive waves of Lammer lining up while Anyanava paces back and forth. Nope, nothing there. The dragon floating behind her, glancing at the ominous opening to the underwater volcano that houses the hundreds upon thousands of Dreugh waiting for us to attack, nope…nothing there. No, I just don't feel it. There is no dramatic tension/speech about to begin. Well, I should ask Anyanava what we're going to do next.

I started to swim up to her but Asger beat me to her. Why did he want to talk to her? Maybe he was curious about our orders as well. That makes sense, he is our primary attacker…you know, other than the massive ice-breathing dragon we have down here, or the Mim-mer, or Sheogalinda, or that pint-sized Uvanaya with his reinforcements coming up alongside us right now.

As I swam up to Anyanava, she glanced a smile at me before turning to face Asger. "The moment is finally here. You are great speaker, may you please inspire greatness to my people?"

Asger shook his head, resting his hand on Anyanava's shoulder plate. "No, Clan Mother. Now is your time. These are _your_ people, this is _your_ war, … and this… is _your_ speech."

Anyanava looked unsure for a second, glancing around at everyone. I could see her struggling to think of something. Then, Uvanaya swam up beside her, bowing to her. "Clan Mother, the rest of the army is prepared. We stand ready at your word." Wow, Uvanaya seemed pretty mature, acting like a big boy fish. Then he glanced at me and stuck out his tongue. "Ew…humans. Why are they still here?" He raised the question, whining to the Clan Mother.

Anyanava looked down at the boy, smiling. "They are our allies. They have done a great many things to help us gain our lives back. Were it not for them, I doubt we'd stand here today, on the edge of the battlefield." Anyanava looked up at the ranks of the Lammer building in front of her, to the Daedric Lammer surrounding them. Then she glanced over at Sheogalinda, who stood in the flesh at her side, holding onto her little cane-spear.

Anyanava looked over at Asger and nodded. She turned to her people, looking down at her trident. "It is true. Were it not for the help of these humans, we would not be in the best condition today. We would not stand at the edge of our enemy's cave. Were it not for the humans, we might be dead. And we only have ourselves to blame. We have allowed ourselves to grow weak in our complacency. We thought that going to the ocean to escape the horrors of the changing world would keep us safe…that becoming Lamia would keep us from the horrors of the Aldmer, the Nords…" She shook her head. "We met a much darker foe, one not of our blood. It is true, they are like us, but they fear not enough to leave us alone. They wish us dead, and they would have it, if we choose to sit and wait. It is now our time to remind the world what we are. We are the rulers of the waters. Let us remind those who would do us harm that we are not to be taken lightly. Let us remind them that we will not just die without a fight. Let us remind them why they never left their borders when we moved in."

When Anyanava raised her hand, no one answered. Everyone looked more or less confused by her statements. I must admit, as far as bardic speeches go…it wasn't the best I've ever heard. That's when Uvanaya stepped forward. He pushed Anyanava to the side, sticking his trident above him. "For all those who perished in the Dreugh invasion. For all those who tried to escape but were slain. For all those who did not fight, were innocent, who pleaded for mercy… For all those who cannot stand here today. Let us avenge them! For if we just let the Dreugh get away with what they've done…our dead will have died for nothing."

Finally some faces started to turn into stoic brave faces. The soldiers filling the ranks were beginning to pound on their chest plates, raising their tridents, their razor teeth showing. As some soldiers started screaming in valor, other silent soldiers started joining in. Soon the whole wave of Lammer were pounding their chests in unison, screaming in perfect pitch. If I were a Dreugh inside the volcano, I knew I would have heard them. As I looked into the entrance of the volcano, I could see movement. Dreugh were now starting to swim out to face us.

Anyanava looked over at the swarming Dreugh. She looked back at her troops and screamed, "Go! Make it so that these Dreugh will never crawl out of their volcano ever again!"

With those words, the whole wave of Lammer pushed forward. I was lost in an ocean of bubbles as hundreds of Lammer became frantically enveloped in the battle. I could see as hundreds more of Dreugh crawled out of the volcano. But that wasn't all. What I assumed were round hills around the volcano started moving. Giant pillars that became pinchers separated from the rocks. I watched in horror as hundreds of giant mudcrabs the size of dragons started moving along the seafloor.

So, this was what Okaazstrunzii was afraid of. His Ice Thu'um wouldn't work so well on giant crabs as big as him. Not to mention his teeth could only do so much to a hard exterior. This was a problem. This was something I had to do.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my new diamond knuckle-dusters, or just double D's. I looked down at my flippers, making sure they were still attached to my feet. Good, they were. I pushed straight down, flashing as fast as I could. I kept my eye on the giant crab as I flew down on top of him. I pushed one of my limiters open, feeling the instant pulse of energy that could crush mountains. I brought my fist straight down on top of the crab. I could feel the impact that created a giant shockwave that pushed the other crabs away. When I pulled my hand up, I looked down at the crab I had just nailed. It had to be dead.

I was wrong. I had left a nasty crack in the crab's natural armor, but it was still moving. I didn't see it happen, but I felt it happen. I was swatted away from its head with one of its claws. I spun around in the water, losing my equilibrium again. When I crashed into a mountain, my world was still spinning away.

"LYDIA!" Ruby cried as she flashed into me. The mountain I had been lying against exploded into floating rocks as one of crabs' pincers closed around it. Ruby continued to flash away with me tightly wrapped in her arms as more of the crabs tried to crush us with their massive pincers. Ruby kept stopping and changing her direction, only making my motion sickness stronger.

"Ruby.." I started to say. "Stop…I think I'm going to vomit."

She stopped and tossed me aside. "Ew… you're not doing that on me again!" That's when a giant crab claw smacked her from behind. I heard her squeal in pain as she suddenly flew straight down into the ground. I heard a light impact with the sand at the bottom.

"Ruby!" I screamed. "Are you ok?"

Ruby groaned and rubbed the top of her head. "Not today, Ranjier. I don't wanna leave my cage today…" She moaned for a second before closing her eyes. "Just five more minutes…"

The crab floated down to attack Ruby again. I was still fighting to get my balance back. I could see four of the same crab floating down to a spinning Ruby. I pushed forward, flashing as fast as I could. As I came in closer, the crab somehow floated beside me, when I thought I was going straight at him. Damn depth perception! And then I vomited…today's just not my day.

The crab started to close around Ruby, making me think that I had to do something. So, I pulled out my sword that I refused to use underwater and threw it at the crab. I think I was successful because I saw the sword stop inside the crab's pincer. It did some sort of squeal and backed up. It looked up at me, closing its pincer and breaking my sword. Oh crap…it doesn't look happy.

Maleek came out of nowhere, landing right on top of the creature. He took one of the tridents and stabbed it right through the armor plating. With a twist of the trident, the crab seemed to die. Its eyes became lifeless at least. I looked around, seeing easily fifty other giant crabs starting to circle around us.

I looked over at Maleek and cursed. "We need some help."

Maleek opened his mouth and started squealing something I could barely hear. He swam down to Ruby and scooped her up in his arms before jetting over to me. He handed Ruby to me, nodding. "Just stand back. My reinforcements and I will handle this."

I was going to question him but I could see the sharks coming out. They started swimming over to the crabs, becoming frantic as they started attacking. Even more than that, killer whales started bellowing war cries as they swam over to the crabs. I had no idea orcas even existed here, or sharks for that matter. All we needed now were slaughterfish. But I didn't see any of those. Just sharks and killer whales.

Ruby started shaking her head and started pushing herself out of my hands. "What happened to me?"

"You were bitch-slapped by a crab." I responded.

Ruby growled out a complaint and pulled out her diamond claws. "I'll shred those bastards!" She cried as she flashed forward, almost matching Maleek's speed.

I pulled out my double D's and flashed forward. I was not going to be left out of this battle.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Wow, this is getting pretty good. And yeah, I know Anyanava's speech was subpar, but I tried to keep in her character as much as possible. I hope you enjoyed it.._


	79. Ch 79: Final Destination

**Cearbhail:** _A long long time ago, in a plot device far away... I somehow started this series. Anyway, it comes to an end. Or... does it? Oh... no... not the series, nor this particular story. That's not over yet. I mean, this story is not over yet. Just this war. Yeah, finally._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Do you know what it's like to fight crabs? They're hard to deal with, hard to get rid of, and they're crusty. I still think butter and a shell cracker is the best option for killing crabs, especially with a crab that's easily 50 feet and growing. I wonder what it tastes like. I bet it tastes just like regular crab meat only better. Because bigger is better. Unless you're Asger, then I guess it would have to be smaller and frailer (like his arms). Anyway, not that it matters for killing crabs._

_We finally started our final battle with the Dreugh at Final Destination. So, the first battle we had was possibly the best/hardest battle I've ever been a part of. Easily hundreds of giant crabs swarmed my ass, trying to kill me, while Maleek and Ruby tackled them from behind with their shark and killer whale army. It was a hard fight and getting rid of those crabs was very painful but mostly annoying. But we did it. I busted a few of them myself with my diamond knuckle-duster gloves. Meanwhile, Asger and the rest of the guys tackled the thousands of Dreugh flowing out of the volcano. It was so crazy how they just kept swarming out to fight us. If they have this many filling this small spot, they must have a lot of tunnels that run deep into the ground or towards the surface._

_Well, the first battle is officially over. Once we hit a certain death-limit, the remaining Dreugh all just turned tentacle and swam back into the volcano. Clan Mother is giving another speech about how we must end this here and now, and Asger is preparing a crab feast with the help of Ruby and Maleek. Yeah, Maleek's learning how to cook from Ruby, who received all her training from Pantu and that female Argonian girl. I had no idea those three were spending their free time learning to cook. I guess it makes sense, though._

_But anyway, we have secured the outer perimeter of the underwater volcano. All entrances are being covered by Lammer defense squads, so there is no chance that any Dreugh will escape without a battle. I believe this may be the final battle. I sure hope so, I'm sick of breathing fish piss. Oh Esbern…I miss you, you bitter old man._

_Lydia…_

_…_

The entrance to the volcano was so different from the rest of the ocean. To start with…this water was so wonderful. It was warm enough to make me feel relaxed, but not too warm to make me feel uncomfortable. And the walls of the underwater tunnel were something to behold too. They glowed with a dull red throbbing that lit up enough of the area to give me the sense of impending doom. Sheogalinda, who floated alongside me, was messing with Uvanaya.

"I-I'm not scared." Uvanaya said, crossing his arms. He floated behind Anyanava, his eyes glued shut.

Sheogalinda smiled as she floated up behind him. "What's that behind you?!"

Uvanaya screamed and swam straight up to the round ceiling with such speed that I could barely see him. I looked up to see him lying flat against the ceiling, grabbing his chest while he hyperventilated, his eyes wide and fearful. When he noticed that we were all watching him, he glared down at Sheogalinda and crossed his arms. "Yup, this part of the tunnel seems secure. No Dreugh here." He floated away from the ceiling and drifted back behind Anyanava, holding her hand. "I'll just stay here next to Clan Mother to keep her safe."

Anyanava smiled down at him. "My hero." I think that was the first time I heard Anyanava use sarcasm. She was learning fast from us.

Ruby floated behind me in a similar fashion, poking her head out from behind my back as she glared ahead of us. "So…do you think they are waiting for us?"

Maleek floated beside me, rolling his eyes at Ruby. "Of course they're waiting for us. The difference is that we're ready for them. If you think about it, we killed their giant invasion crabs. They don't have much left. Now, it's just killing what's left of them or settle a peace agreement with their leaderships…if they even have one."

I looked over at Maleek. It's amazing how fast he had matured since I first met him. I wonder what happened to change him so much. I doubt it had anything to do with being around the only people capable of changing the world and fixing it. I mean, we are _the team_, the only guys who are able to face down Alduin and end his life. We have some of the greatest minds and people on our team.

"I cannot wait to see what type of environment the Dreugh have developed. I mean the culture they embrace, the language they have created, the housing they have developed. This is a proud day for all historians." Farengar said from behind me. Man, I keep forgetting he was there.

"I must admit, I am also curious as to their code of conduct, their upper class structure. It will be a valuable report that I can send back to the Aldmeri Dominion. I have already written up my report on Lamia royalty and life under the sea." I looked back to see Fiirnar rubbing his chin, deep in thought. I kept forgetting he were here as well. I guess dogs just aren't important enough to remember.

Asger smiled as he glanced over at Fiirnar. "I can just imagine that the Dreugh have their own bards. I bet they have poetic verse equal to that of the gods."

This talk had inspired Ruby to float away from my back and up to Maleek, grabbing his arm and pulling herself in for a hug. "I bet they have the best marriage ceremonies."

Maleek rolled his eyes but didn't bother pushing her away. "Here we go. …Whatever happened to presenting me with your set of Argonian tradition rings?"

That made Ruby smile, tugging on his arm. "I could do that! But…" She shrugged. "I am Khajiit and we have our traditions too…I think." She looked confused and contemplative at even considering her Khajiit culture. Then she shrugged again. "And you have yours. I think it would be awesome to just use a completely neutral cultural ceremony for us to get married."

Maleek shook his head lightly, trying not to smile. He patted her on the head. "In your dreams."

"They are quite wonderful." She responded, hugging Maleek closer to her.

Even I had to roll my eyes at that. She was trying very hard today. Maleek, for once, was not trying to fight her off, just humoring her. I guess maybe he was maturing after all. Still, I wonder what happened to make him so mature. It seemed to happen when Babette joined our group. Maybe she forced him to grow up. I'd have to ask him some time.

Anyanava forced us all to come to a stop. "I can hear voices ahead. We are nearing someone." She looked almost afraid to make us continue down the tunnel.

Sheogalinda floated up beside her, carrying a hero sub. She took a bite of it, nodding. "Can we hurry this up? I have a date with the Duchess of Dementia and she hates it when I show up as a freaky fish-mer. She doesn't 'float' that way, if you catch my 'drift'." Sheogalinda elbowed Anyanava lightly, raising her non-existent eyebrows.

Anyanava smiled and patted Sheogalinda on her shoulder. "Yes, I believe it is now the time." She turned to face the rest of us, her eyes wider than usual. "Let us end this, peaceful if we can. We go in and if they attack, we attack back until they don't attack anymore." She nodded and spun around, pulling out her staff. "The tunnels are too tight for Okaazstrunzii to join us, so we must rely on our Mim-mer, our Sheogalinda, and our Dovahkiin for overwhelming victory." She started to swim forward to the exit of the tunnel, but she stopped. I could see her shoulders pulling up and her fists tightened on her staff. "No." She spun around, looking at Sheogalinda and over at Asger. Her eyes looked strong and determined. She shook her head. "No." She spun around and started swimming off, leaving the rest of us behind. "This is _our_ battle and _I_ will lead us to victory!" She paused for a second to look back at Asger. "If I rely on your help we will never prove our worth to the ocean. You and Sheogalinda will only step in if I am down. Understood?"

Asger nodded. "You will be just fine. I will have your back."

I swam up to her and pulled out my gloves. "I am your palm and your fist." I looked over at Asger. It was at times like this that I was reminded why I loved being beside him. He was a determinable leader and inspiration to upcoming leaders. In the course of a few days, he took a teenage girl who was incapable of leading anyone and turned her into the queen of all Lamia and leading her own offensive strike to her worst nightmares. I loved moments like this. This is what being a protagonist was all about.

As Anyanava started swimming forward, everyone started to follow. There was a bright light ahead at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't see anything past the end of the tunnel. Go figure. When Anyanava passed through the light, I couldn't see what happened to her. No one followed. Farengar was the first to approach with Fiirnar by his side.

Farengar rubbed his chin, looking at the bright light. "This is a portal. Interesting. I wonder where it goes." He pushed his head and stayed there for a second. He pulled his head back out, his eyes wide with astonishment. "It's so beautiful!" He charged in without a second thought.

I looked back at Asger, shrugging. "Do you think we should enter?"

Asger nodded. "Why not?" He reached out to take my hand. "Together, we can do anything!"

I took his hand and together we jumped into the portal. There was a sudden flash of light but when it was over, I could tell that we were still underwater. This place looked weird though. There were books everywhere and black sludge floating around all around us. As I looked around, I could see hundreds of eyes opening up in the middle of nowhere. The eyes all flicked around, looking at the army coming in behind us. One of the eyes focused on me and blinked. I felt shivers travel down my spine.

_You are trespassing in the realm of Hermeaus Mora, Daedra Prince of Knowledge, Fate, and memory. Why have you come to my realm?_

Asger looked up at the floating eyeball and started rubbing his chin. I looked around for Farengar, who was busy swimming around in circles, opening random texts and reading the contents. I can see why he thought this place was wonderful. It was filled with knowledge that only a wizard could care about.

One of the eyeballs that belonged to the possible Daedra Price focused in on him. _You are seeking knowledge? I demand a price for the use of my library. Do you have any knowledge that you may add to my collection?_

Farengar paused for a second before reaching into his backpack. "Mighty Hermeaus Mora, I offer to you, the Dragonstone. It is an ancient text that relates the dragons and their burial rituals."

_A priceless tome on ancient dragon rites. Glorious._ The eyeball spoke and a tentacle materialized out of nowhere. It wrapped around the Dragonstone and pulled it away from Farengar. _You have gained access to my tomes. For the rest of you…why are you here?_

Fiirnar swam forward. "But I believe it is you that called us here. We were on our way to the living space of the Dreugh. And you brought this portal to us. That means that you wanted us here. May we ask you the question you asked us? Why are we here?"

The eyeball focused in on Farengar. _You speak wisely, Altmer…and accurately. The Dreugh are under my protection, as the Lamia are under Sheogorath's. As the God of Fate, I cannot let their culture fade into the night. I must do everything I can to preserve them._

"Then why have you allowed your people to invade and attack the Lamia?!" Fiirnar screamed to him. "They brought this upon themselves."

Hermeaus Mora blinked in response. _Perhaps I was allowing my servants the chance to move out of the volcano. Perhaps I want them to be free to venture wherever they choose, without persecution brought upon by the Lamia. Perhaps I was preparing them for war. Perhaps I wanted to prepare them for when I take over the Shivering Isles. Perhaps not._

Fiirnar scoffed. "So, that's it? You want to use the Dreugh for war? You killed innocent Lamia…so that you could take over some island?"

The eyeball blinked. _Perhaps, perhaps not. I only allowed you to come here to see what Fate is in store for today. Are the Dreugh to die off, or is there to be freedom? If freedom, I will allow the priests to hear my message to stop the attack and you may proceed to their town without contest to form a peace treaty. If you choose war, my Daedra will come and slay you all before you ever set foot in Dreugh's home. So I ask again: do you come here for peace or death?_

He directed his gaze down to Anyanava. She looked up at him, unafraid. "Peace, if we may have it. But be warned: if any more of my people are hurt, it will come to a full war with no end until one of our races is dead."

_You speak well for a child. Your mother was a fool, but you have become stronger than she could ever have. I believe with you as the leader, there can be peace. I will allow you to continue on._

That's when Sheogalinda passed through the tunnel. She looked around, nodding. "I haven't been here in a long time. I wonder if Hermeaus Mora is still tricking mortals into giving up their brains for a single tome of useless knowledge."

The eyeball looked down at Sheogalinda. _Do you not give your servants a similar treatment? You promise them happiness but bring them madness. You take sanity and replace it with butterflies and waffles._

Sheogalinda crossed her hands. "At least my realm has comes in variety. I have a beautiful landscape filled with horrible monsters and a dangerous marsh filled with an angry grandmother with a purse filled with bricks. Your realm looks like it was furnished by an emotionally challenge child seeking attention."

_At least I don't change into different deities every few centuries. Oh and…love the new form. It fits you, really._

Sheogalinda turned around. "Don't stare at my chest! Men…" She said, shaking her head. "Keep your tentacles to yourself. And at least I have a body, if not hundreds! You're nothing more than a giant eyeball."

_I created knowledge._

"I created cheese!"

_I control fate._

"I make confetti out of organs!"

_I have knowledge of everything that has ever happened._

"I have changed history and fate by taking vacation! Didn't you have a plan for the Dwarves and the Giants? Remember what I did to them?" Sheogalinda paused and twirled her gray mustache around her finger. "And…what if the same thing happens to your Dreugh?"

The eyeball squinted at Sheogalinda. _You…You wouldn't dare._

She nodded. "Warts and all. If your Dreugh mess with _my_ Lamia…I will warp their lives so much that it will tie every tentacle you have wrapped in their lives."

Hermeaus Mora rolled his eye. _You win this round, Sheogorath. But this is not over. I shall release you from my realm, but know that I will not let this go so easily._

I don't remember what happened next. There was a flash of light and we found ourselves floating in the exit of the tunnel. In front of me was a massive carved-out cave that was lined with red glowing rocks. Dunmer-style building lined the walls and just like the town of Icicle Sky, there were other tunnels leading to other parts of the town. Dreugh peacefully floated around like they were going about their normal routines. I could see parents with a tentacle or two wrapped around what appeared to be a child. The child paused to glance at us before turning its attention back to its parents.

Just like that, every Dreugh stopped to look at us. A couple of them started looking around at the rest of us and then at each other like they didn't know what to do. It was in this time frame that several Dreugh floated up in front of the more normal Dreugh. They were dressed in combat armor and had some sort of scissor-weapon attached to their claw arms. They didn't move; they just floated there, watching us.

I looked over at Anyanava and poked her in the arm. "Go, on…make peace."

She nodded, giving me something of an uncertain look. "I will try." She swam forward a bit and started clicking something.

The soldier Dreugh's expression changed from angry to confused. One of the soldiers looked at another and started doing a raspier click speak. That other soldier turned around and swam off. Then the other random Dreugh started clicking to each other and to Anyanava, who was clicking back. More Dreugh started clicking at Anyanava, this time more forcefully and angry. Anyanava started clicking back just as fierce. She looked like she was being defensive.

Uvanaya and Maleek both swam up, clicking furiously at the other Dreugh now and it was just one giant clicking argument. Everyone started clicking at each other. Fingers were being pointed, expressions were exchanged, a think a bottle was thrown, and mouths gaped open while children covered their ears. All while the Dreugh and Lamia were clicking in their language that I do not understand at all. It was very frustrating to me to not know what the hell was going on. As usual.

The clicking quickly silenced as a very old Dreugh dressed in a white cloak floated out from behind the crowd of Dreugh. The other Dreugh all stopped in awe of this crustacean. He looked very old, I could tell by how his shell looked softened and faded. He carried a staff not too unlike Anyanava's and swam with grace that I had never seen in a Dreugh yet.

He paused only meters away from Anyanava and clicked at her.

She clicked back.

He clicked again, this time sticking his claw out and shaking it in the water with a confused look on his face. Anyanava waved her hand through the water as well, clicking something that sounded reassuring. They both smiled in return. Then they started clicking to each other a little friendlier this time.

I looked over at Maleek. "What is happening?"

Maleek glanced at me and smiled. "Since when do you ever know what's going on?"

I groaned as I rolled my eyes. "Well, duh! I wish for once that someone would fill me in on what's happening. Now, what's going on?"

Maleek sighed. "Fine. Anyanava is speaking to the Chieftain. I thought that was obvious."

He left it at that and started looking at Anyanava. She was floating back up to us, a smile on her face. "We have been invited for a feast in honor of our new allegiance. We are now allies."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **I'm glad they had a happy ending._


	80. Ch 80: Impassable gate guard

**Cearbhail:** _I am happy to have finally been able to sit down and do this chapter. I will be busy the next few days preparing for the finals. Last night of kendo for four months T_T ... I sure hope I leave with at least one good match. Otherwise, I'll get all depressed. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. And during the summer, I plan on doing more and closing this story. I should get past 100 chapters. We'll see. Anyway, every ten chapters, I like to do something different, something life changing for my characters. It's the 80th chapter. So... I think I got something useful in here._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The party that followed the signing of the Siochain Carta was crazy. Oh yeah, we won. We marched into the volcano, met the Daedric Lord presiding over the Dreugh. It was some crazy eyeball monster with tentacles and values knowledge over everything. He has some massive library. So, I guess he's pretty smart. But anyway, he agreed to allow his followers, the Dreugh, to give up the war in exchange for not having Sheogorath play with them. We met their cleric and he met with Clan Mother Anyanava. They signed a peace treaty that she called the 'Siochain Carta' and then shook the claw of the cleric. Now the Lamia and the Dreugh are allies. And the change was almost immediate. Kids of both species play together, the Dreugh are openly leaving their volcano and rejoining the Lamia out in the ocean. It's a beautiful scene. I hope it lasts. With the threat of Sheogorath messing around with them, I bet it will._

_Well, while the party was impressive and even enjoyable, we finally said our goodbyes to the ocean and let Anyanava lead us back to the surface. We ended up near Solitude. We almost said goodbye to Anyanava but she reminded us that she was joining us for the war conference and announce the return of the Lamia to the world. So, we needed the help of Ruby and Farengar to find out how she could join us. Ruby pulled out an obsidian bracelet and gave it to her. Since she does breathe air, the only issue we had was that she might dry out and that she can't walk. The obsidian Ruby gave to her allowed her to 'float' for about a foot or so off the ground. So now she kinda glides beside us like she was walking. It's weird. And for the water, she just rubs snow on her body every few hours. She's not cold-blooded so she won't get too cold. That and she's wearing a sunstone necklace infused with turquoise. It helps with the breathing thing too. And the sunstone as I remember keeps any holder warm-ish._

_But anyway, we took a couple carriages from Solitude back to Whiterun. Everyone that was down in the cave was already back in Riverwood. They were transported by whales, I guess. I can't wait to see Babette and my daughter again. They should be waiting for us in Whiterun. I hope everyone is still waiting for us. Well, heck, I know they are. I can see the party from in my seat. Whiterun has never looked so disgustingly packed in its life. I sure hope Uncle Balgruuf isn't too upset._

_Lydia…_

_…_

"Lydia, your uncle wants you to get your ass up to Dragonsreach now." The gate guard said as he opened the gate.

I gave him my dead eyes and shrugged. "Gee, I was going to, but suddenly…I feel like hitting up the pub." I turned around to look at Asger. "I bet there are a lot of old friends that would love to create some uncontrollable chaos with you before we get up to the castle."

"Ma'am, I'm just reciting a message from Jarl Balgruuf. Don't shoot the messenger." The gate guard replied, also deadpanned. He must have had a long day.

I patted him on the shoulder. "I'll just be on my way then."

I started to walk past with Ruby beside me, but the gate guard grabbed her by the arm. "Hold. No Khajiits are welcome…"

Ruby sighed. "I am Nisha Ruby Battle-Born. Do you deny a Battle-Born access? Shall I get Great Uncle Balgruuf and tell him you denied me entry to my home?" She growled in his face.

The gate guard paused before releasing her arm. "My apologies, Miss Battle-Born." Then he looked over at me. "You adopted a cat?"

I nodded. "Yeah…she's my daughter. And she has permission to enter this town as a regular civilian. Get used to it."

"Once again, ma'am…just doing my job as instructed." He replied, stepping back and resuming his position near the door. "You were training for this same job, I recall. You know the rules."

"Aye, I do." I replied. "Which is why I don't hate you for it." I patted him on the shoulder again, smiling this time. "I'll be sure to give you a good word when I talk to my uncle."

As we walked past, Ruby stuck her tongue out at the gate guard. I thought we'd finally make it inside when I heard, "Excuse me. What…what are you?" I groaned as I turned around. The gate guard, Georgie, was inspecting Anyanava. "Didn't I see you in Riverwood? Didn't you eat Sven?"

She paused and flashed him an innocent smile. "Did I? I recall that I only ate his face. When he fell into the water, the rest of my pod ate him."

Georgie laughed. "It's ok. No one liked him. You're free to enter. But, my question still stands. What are you?"

Anyanava blinked her giant black eyes. "I'm a Lammer, a Mermaid." She bowed to him slightly before continuing. "I have traveled to this war conference to announce the return of my people. We are rejoining the world."

Georgie nodded. "Oh…ok. I'll just put you down as 'here for business'." He waved her past. "Enjoy your stay in Whiterun."

I turned back around, sure that we were done this time. I mean, what else could they find on us that would lead to us being stopped again?

"Hold!" Georgie called out.

I almost started crying. I wanted to lie down in my bed and relax. Is that so much to ask? I just wanted a few minutes of lying on my back before I had to go face the war council meeting at Dragonsreach. I did not get to do much of anything other than that for the next few days, I'm sure. "What is it this time?" I almost growled out as I turned around.

Georgie pointed at the thing at the end of our line. "What in the Oblivion is _that_?"

I looked past Asger's head to see the mime was pretending he was trapped inside a box. Oh yeah, I forgot about him. Sheogalinda gave us a Mime to protect his Clan Mother. He transforms into a Mim-mer when he needs to. He's pretty awesome because he never talks…I could get used to a few other people never talking. He was glancing over at Georgie with mild interest and then went back to walling himself off from us. Typical Mime.

I sighed. "It's a Mime. You know…a…" I shouldn't say Daedra, that will cause chaos and we don't want that so… "He's a Breton from …wherever Bretons are from. You know them, they're weird. He took this vow of silence, and his parents told him to become a bard on their deathbed. Bards and not talking are like… undoable so… he became a mime instead." I smiled as best I could so that Georgie believed that I was telling the truth. The Mime, on the other hand, was glaring at me with daggers. Seriously, I could feel invisible daggers poking me.

Georgie glanced at me weirdly before tilting his head to the side. "No, I don't buy that. I would have, if you didn't smile after saying it. I know you, Lydia. You…_never…smile_. _Ever_. In fact, you _only_ smile when you want to really sell a lie that you know no one will ever believe."

Asger tipped over, laughing. "Man, Lydia. This town is the best! Everyone knows your weaknesses so well that it's almost comical!"

Ruby gasped. "You smiled when you told me you liked my purple hair!" She took off running, screaming, "I hate you!" as she ran off into the town. Oh great…she's becoming a teenager.

Maleek glared at me but then smiled. "You're so lucky, Lydia. I can't ever get that furball to hate me these days." Then he ran off after her. Probably to torment or kiss her. Hell, I don't know what those two will do anymore when they talk. They're just so random.

Babette appeared in front of me, her arms crossed. It happened so suddenly that I almost jumped out of my armor in horror. "You were smiling when you said that you respected my alternative lifestyle." She snapped her head around, huffing at me. "I thought you were better than that, Lydia. Don't think I won't forget this." She screamed as she took off, following the path that Ruby and Maleek ran in.

And then Asger's face fell. "You are always smiling as we…well…you liar!" Oh great…now I really feel bad. I'm not saying that I was telling the truth to any of those, though. Asger cried before taking off as well, running off in the same direction that almost everyone else had run off in. Seriously, was I repeated the same scene with everyone today? Figures this would happen right as soon as I got home.

I glared over at everyone else behind me. "Does anyone else feel like confronting one of my lies and then running off like a sissy? And by sissy, I mean Asger."

Fiirnar rubbed his chin. He finally bowed to me, shrugging. "It would not affect my judgment of your character even if you did. You do not trust me, therefore I can validly confirm that you do not tell me the truth in most situations. You dodge most of my questions and run circles around me when it comes to contradicting my preconceived answers. You even refer to me as a common attack hound or perhaps a domesticated dog. I have accepted this as part of our particular…relationship as current comrade-in-arms. Perhaps a little tact would be in order for the more sensitive members of our group, however."

Oh great, the only one who understands me is the dog that can't learn to keep his yapper shut. But I guess he has gained his own role in our family. He has yet to turn us over to the Dominion, even though he's had several opportunities to do so. I spun on my heel. "Ok, whatever. Come, on. Let's get up to Dragonsreach and get this over with."

"Wait!" Georgie cried. A tear rolled down my left cheek. I batted it away and composed my face before turning to face him.

I spun around quickly, my hair flying like razor-wind. The wind around me turned into a shockwave tornado as I spun around. "WHAT?!" I yelled to him.

He pointed to the Mime. "You never explained what this is."

I sighed in contempt and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I turned myself around. _One, two, three…_ I took a deep breath and turned around again. "He's a Daedra given to us by Sheogorath." I mumbled. I pointed weakly over to Anyanava, who smiled at Georgie in return. "The Mime is the bodyguard of our lovely Clan Mother, Anyanava. He keeps her safe from all enemies that might try to kill her. He'll be on his best behavior….won't you, Mime?!" I gritted through my teeth.

The Mime nodded to me, his face etched in fear. Good. He knew exactly how I felt right now. Georgie seemed unaffected to my behavior, and was rubbing his helmet in thought. "Well, this is highly irregular…but with you, Lydia…I should expect it." He waved us through. "Go on in. No more interruptions this time."

Oh thank Talos, Sheogorath, not Akatosh (not after making us go through all this mess by creating a stupid bow that can kill the sun). Thank you all (except Akatosh) for keeping me from killing Georgie before even walking into the town. Now, all that remains is my bed. Oh how I long to lie in my bed, if not only for a few hours.

"Don't forget, Jarl Balgruuf wants you up in Dragonsreach right away!" Georgie cried after me.

I paused; another tear flowed down my cheek. _Dammit, Georgie!_ I thought to myself as I groaned as loud as I could. I could not get a single moment to myself anymore.

I was about to turn around and scream at him, but I heard someone else first. "Dammit, girl. Didn't I teach you to mind your surroundings?"

I snapped my eyes open to see Old man standing in front of me, his arm sticking straight out at my throat. He was only inches away from stabbing me with a small hidden knife concealed in his hand. He was smirking at me in a jokingly way, like he knew that he could kill me even if I was on my guard. He pulled his arm back, pulling his knife back up his sleeve. "Of course, that would take away the only Battle-Born that broods harder than I do." He stepped forward, wrapping me up in a hug. "Welcome home, Lydia."

I found myself hugging him. "Hi…Old man."

"What? I'm not bald!" He almost bellowed at me.

My eyes deadpanned and I found myself laughing. "Of course that's what you heard." I hugged him closer, saying, "I'm glad I'm finally home."

"Good to have you. I'm guessing you haven't heard. Jon and Gray-Mane wench Oflina are planning to get married." He said to me as he started leading me through the town. "Our two families are trying our best to get our children under control, but it looks like it might come to blows. If we can't resolve this situation, there might be a family riot leading to a family massacre." The Old man nodded to me. "I told Jon this would happen. It will be Romous and Juliovna all over again." He looked at me and smiled. "And with you on our side…those Gray-Manes might as well roll over and die."

I chuckled lightly to myself. Maybe six months ago, I would have wholeheartedly agreed to kill off the Gray-Manes. But…after being where I've been, seeing what I've seen, and witnessed the ultimate love-hate relationship of all time…I think I can understand the purity behind Jon and Oflina's love. It would be a massacre if our two families killed each other off because of it. But perhaps, this would be all it would take to unite us again.

I took my mind off it by looking around the town as Old man led me up to Dragonsreach. The town was so busy that I could barely tell it was Whiterun. Bakers had markets set up all around the town; bards were playing their instruments almost quietly while parading around in a celebratory fashion. I could see several bards battling each other in their usual fashion. I could see some new Blades that were old friends of Asger marching around the town, keeping their eye on security. Stormcloaks were hanging around the pub, laughing this asses off as they drank themselves under the tables. There were some Imperials watching them from the corners of the marketplace. They all looked on edge, like they expected each other to grab their swords and commence their own war right here in the middle of the town.

But even though the whole town was filled with tension and uncontrollable celebration, the whole town grew silent as they all started looking over at us. I stopped in my tracks as everyone was suddenly glaring over at me like they had never seen me before. A fire juggler missed a beat and a pin lit on fire landed on his head, setting him on fire. He still stood there for a few seconds before screaming and jumping into the little water pathway we have in the Wind District.

The Old man looked confused too before screaming, "What are you looking at? I'm wearing my pants today!"

He turned around and paused as well. So, I finally spun myself around. All I saw was Anyanava floating up the staircase. As I looked around, I could see that everyone's eyes were glued on her. Oh…that's right. They've never seen a Lammer before. Yeah, I'm so desensitized by all the crap that I see that if I saw well…a god made out of spaghetti…I would not even be fazed. I would just blame Esbern and Sheogorath. Because they would have had something to do with it, I'm sure.

"What the hell is that?" Some random person screamed from the massive growing crowd.

Anyanava floated behind my back, hiding behind me. "I should have expected this." She squealed out.

I sighed and smiled at her. "Yana. This is your moment. Dammit…I can't believe I have to do this." I spun around her and pushed her in front of me. "You came here to show the world that the Lammer have returned. You came with us to show us that you are not afraid anymore. If you shy away now, you will only weaken your cause. Now is the time for you to show us all what you are." Damn bardic speeches.

Anyanava nodded and pushed herself forward. "Here me! My name is Anyanava from the clan Uisce'bhan Sobal or the White-Water Foams Clan. I am a Lamia, one of the lost and forgotten races of Mer. I am a Mermaid and I am here as the representative to my nation. We come as a peace offering, hoping to reestablish connection with your world. If you will let us, we will become allies."

Everyone paused, just looking at her. Then I could see the bards nodding. They were taking this easier than everyone else were. Of course they would. It only makes sense that they could appreciate a dramatic moment in the making. Songs were going to be made of this very second. I was sure of it. Dammit! I was turning into a fierfeking bard!

Old man looked over at me and smiled. "You've been busy, I see."

I nodded back. "I'll fill you in on the way up the staircase."

"Should I get some popcorn?" He asked, a hint of laughter in his voice. "Did you adopt another species for a daughter?"

"NO!" I almost screamed to him. "But I was very close. Very close." That wasn't a lie. There was this cute orphan back in Crossing Currents. I was so tempted but Anyanava took her as her daughter instead. She was currently with Uvanaya, learning how to lead troops. She was going to be the next Clan Mother after all.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yes! Perfection indeed. Well, I thought it was good. Now...time to go Kendo._


	81. Ch 81: Ready for a miracle?

**Cearbhail:** _And...I know this is lacking in the funnies. But as I start to close up this story, I have to address the real issues that need to be faced before the story closes. yes, we are coming up on the final acts. I estimate about 8-13 chapters. It's been a great run and I hope you all loved this story as much as I have. I know a lot of you have beefs with me bringing Cecilie into the story but I had to in order for this ending to occur. I had this planned out way before this story even entered paper. Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_The time has finally come. I am standing in Dragonsreach, where leaders of every major Capital and Guild in Skyrim have joined together to discuss the important issues that face our country: war, dragons, Thalmor, and me apparently. I don't know why this session includes me, but I can't wait to find out._

_So, before we get to that, I found Ruby and Cecilie relaxing next to the waterfall pool in the Wind district. Cecilie looks a little sad but she gave me a big hug before saying that she's like to have a really great adventure soon. Like tomorrow. It's weird, I haven't seen her this clingy to me since she was eleven. Which was, for me, four months ago. I shouldn't let it bother me, it's not like I'm going to die or anything. She wouldn't exist if I did._

_So…things happened. When Fiirnar entered Dragonsreach with me, half of the Jarls broke out in gasps, the other half bowed to him in honor. My Uncle looked around at everyone else for some type of hint as to which side was more powerful so that he could consider joining them. He's so wishy-washy when it comes to be a neutral power. But, seeing that he's a Battle-Born, he'll side with the Empire, we always do. I did when I saw that Hadvar was in the Imperial Legion, and again when Cecilie was there too. Anyway, we need to get started with this war conference; we're just waiting on Asger now._

_Lydia…_

_…_

My daughters sat on both sides of me at the giant table prepared for the war conference. These tables were usually spread out along the dining hall so that we could eat in quiet, but today they were all joined in a giant rectangle of tables so that we could all stand up and address everyone easily. Since we didn't want the roaring fire pit to roast our eyebrows, we moved the tables to the entrance of Dragonsreach. I was surprised at how small the company we had in here. We had my Uncle, the other Jarls as well, the Full Course, the leader of the Bard's College, Ulfric Stormcloak, his second-in-command Galmar Stone-fist. Sitting right next to him was Rikke, who kept glancing up at him awkwardly, who glanced back just as awkwardly. They were trying so hard to not talk it was almost hysterical.

Continuing from that we had General Tullius, Captain Morgan, Anyanava, Esbern and Delphine, some old graybeards, Brelyna (as a College representative), Farengar, Serana (who now represented her family of vampires), Maleek (Listener), Ria (one of the circle), Karliah (Thief), and me…for some reason. Oh yeah, Fiirnar was sitting next to Cecilie (as the only Aldmeri Dominion representative), and so was Isran, who was sitting next to his brother Captain Morgan. They looked so similar that I ruled them off as the same person twice. We had only one seat still available and it was reserved for Asger.

I looked over at Ruby who had just dyed her hair to a light blue color. Since I wear blue a lot, she figured I'd like this mane color better. I hate to admit it, but I do. It didn't matter to me, though. It was her mane, she should color it whatever she wanted to color it. She kept changing her appearance because of Maleek and me and that wasn't ok. I'd have to sit down and have a chat about personal respect once we were done here.

Looking over at General Tullius and Ulfric, it was almost funny to see them glare at each other like they were just waiting for the other one to start talking first. I was surprised at who did the talking first.

"So, how was it, getting your first axe?" Ulfric said. "It sure is fun, right? Getting someone's axe. What a thrill it is, knowing that you control the fate of a partnership or a bitter rivalry."

Tullius rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. He turned to Rikke and sighed heavily. "What is he trying to say to me?"

Rikke ripped a large chunk of turkey off her leg and chewed heavily before glancing over at Tullius. "He wants to know if you enjoyed getting his axe. Meaning, he's excited at being your friend, or comrade-in-arms at least."

Ruby snickered as she stood up. "I can't take this any longer. If I keep hearing 'ass' from this conversation, I'm going to bust up laughing. I'll be outside if you need me."

I almost stopped her from leaving but when I started to say something, she raised her hands at me. "I am both a Khajiit and _not_ a leader. I shouldn't even be here." She walked away, shrugging. "I'll go sit at the kid's table while you adults play reunion. I'd get bored listening to you all talk anyway."

Cecilie placed her arm on my shoulder. "She'll be fine. She's just planning her next move against Maleek." She turned to look at me, her white eyes staring through me. "I need to talk to you, as well. It can wait until this meeting is over."

I nodded to her. "Ok, but…is there something bad about to happen?"

Cecilie shrugged. "I'll explain. I just…I need to figure out what I'm going to say." She turned away from me and started eating her food. "Until then just…well…stay away from Daddy." She turned to look at me again. "It is important that I talk to you _before_ you leave this room with Dad."

I stood up from my table and took her arm. "Ok, whatever this is about, we're talking about it now."

I started to pull her up, but she froze in her seat. Her blind eyes darted around almost frantically before she rose from her seat. "Ok, we can discuss it. It didn't happen like this in my vision, but…I don't see any difference in talking about it now. Can we go to the garden in the Wind district? I like the smell of the lavender."

The two of us stood up to leave the room. Maleek was the first one to stand up and look over at us. "Lydia, I just remembered something. I never did get to tell you who wanted Asger killed: the person who paid off the Dark Brotherhood to kill Asger."

I turned to face him. He looked serious. "Ok, so who was it?"

"You." He replied. "You performed the Black Sacrament according to the Night Mother, but the person who paid large amounts of money to kill Asger was Maven Black-Briar. She wanted Asger killed for preventing her becoming the Jarl of Riften when the Imperials took the town."

I paused, now looking at Maleek. "What? I did not perform the Black Sacrament…" _Whatever that is._ I thought to myself as I glared at Maleek. "So, are you saying that I want Asger dead?"

Maleek stood up. "No one would perform the Black Sacrament if they didn't. It took my only one day to track Asger down after I stole my father's assignment. It was a contract formed from forgery, from being paid off. But the Mother has told me that someone did do the Black Sacrament only moments after I stole that mission from my father. She told me it was you. You performed the sacred summoning right after I left to find Asger. So, Lydia…do you remember doing something stupid only hours before you met me?"

I looked down at the ground. What happened that day? Asger tried to get me to learn magic and I blacked out. I looked up at Maleek and shrugged. "No, not really. Asger tried to teach me magic from a tome and I passed out. When I woke up, it was already night. They said I didn't move from my spot."

Fiirnar rubbed his chin. "If this is the same day as when I saw you in Rorikstead wearing that distasteful black dress, then I could guess that when you passed out you became a spirit. You were playing with the snow, making it whirlwind around you. I know it was you because I remember saying, 'Hey, she looks like my first love.' And then, 'Wow, look at that dress.'"

I backhanded Fiirnar and turned to face Maleek. The Jarl of Morthal stood up, the old woman nodding. "Yes, this is what the Jarls wanted to talk to you about. I saw you making mammoths dance outside my city. You were also reported to be wearing a distasteful black dress as well. I trust my sources saying it was you since you visited us a lot as a child."

Oh yeah, I did go to Morthal a lot as a child. Mostly to escape draugr, wolves, or spiders that were chasing me and my friends. I gained a bit of a reputation of being the 'here comes trouble' girl whenever I ran into town. The guards were always on alert when I showed up in town. Sometimes I went just to visit the old woman who saw the future (who apparently is the Jarl). She always had something funny to say to me.

The Jarl of Dawnstar (Skald) stood up as well. His bright bald head shone for a second before glared for a second. "And I know you appeared in Dawnstar after you left. You were levitating over the ocean and then you started pulling the water out of the ocean, changing its color as you swirled it around your body. We thought you were giving us a show but then it started raining fish. We thought you were just trying to feed us. Then you dropped the water all at once. That caused a flood that washed over almost half the town." He shook his head. "And that dress, seriously Lydia…why?"

"What dress?" I screamed at them. "I don't wear dresses!" _Often._ I thought to myself. "And I wasn't in Morthal making mammoths dance. I wasn't swirling snow in a tornado in Rorikstead, and I sure wasn't in Dawnstar, flooding the market with fish."

Maleek nodded his head. "But if you did do all those things at the same time, there is a chance that you also performed the Black Sacrament in order to kill Asger."

Cecilie pulled on my arm. "Mom, just leave it. You can't go back and change what you did…or didn't do." She glanced over at Maleek. "Oh and even if she did do the Black Sacrament, since she did the real one…she can dismiss the order."

I looked over at Maleek and nodded. "If you believe I did the Black Sacrament, cancel the assassination of Asger. I changed my mind."

Maleek nodded and sat back down. "That's all I wanted to hear, Lydia. Thanks."

I left with Cecilie, who was now not in a hurry to leave. We slowly trudged down the staircase. My daughter walked quietly as she glanced down at the ground as if she was carefully looking at where she was going. As we got about halfway down, I heard, "You did perform the Sacrament. I can see it now. And wow…that dress really is something. Can I get one just like it?"

I found myself chuckling. "No." I paused before looking at her. "What else did I do that day?"

Cecilie paused. "You stole the Jarl of Markarth's dog, turned it into a dragon, and sicked it on the Thalmor Embassy." Cecilie chuckled to herself as she looked at something I could see. "You shaved M'aiq, talked to some monk that was riding on top of a mammoth. That led to you making the mammoths dancing…"

"Wait…what?" I stopped Cecilie. "A monk riding on top of a mammoth. I…I talked to my father?"

Cecilie paused as well, glancing at me. "_That's_ my Grandfather?" She shook her head and continued stepping down the stairs. "And imagine…I never knew that."

We continued on in silence the rest of the way down the stairs. I stopped talking so I could focus on thinking about the dreams I had. I did remember something about someone who looked like my father. I couldn't remember what he said to me, our conversation was muted in my memory. But because of something he said, I started making the mammoths dancing around a bonfire. It made him laugh so I guess I was just doing something he enjoyed. Even in my dream, I could feel the satisfaction of pleasing him. I could still feel that now. I really missed my dad. If this monk really was him…I had to find him. That was my next quest. "Do I ever find my father?"

"I will not tell you that." Cecilie replied instantly. "Not that it will affect your future…it's just…well…some things are better left as surprises." She smiled at me as she came to a stop. She turned to look at the garden she wanted to be at for our talk. She bent down and sat in the garden. "Ok, Mom. Here's the thing.."

"Lydia!" Ysolda screamed at me. I turned to face her. She was wearing really loose iron armor and was carrying a claymore almost as big as her. She smiled as she ran up to me, tripping over my claymore as she did so. Good thing it was sheathed. "Lydia, thank the gods! I…" She paused as she caught up with me. She tried pounding on her chest plate to draw in some air but it wasn't working. "This stuff…is really heavy." She panted and sat down in the garden next to Cecilie. Cecilie looked annoyed to have Ysolda interrupt her but she hid it under her usual smile.

I looked over at Cecilie, who looked defeated. "Cecilie, can whatever you need to say to me wait for a couple minutes?"

Cecilie turned her head away. "As long as you don't go near Dad before I can talk to you…yes."

I looked back at Ysolda and looked at her crappy assortment of iron armor. "Ysolda…what the hell are you doing in armor?"

She smiled at me. "I'm on a quest!" She squealed and glanced up at me. "See that, Lydia. I'm just like you now. I'm going to go out and collect a mammoth tusk!"

"You're going to kill a mammoth?" I screamed at her. "Do you know what will happen to you? You'll either be trampled to death before you can even kill it, or the giants will skin you alive for killing their pets."

Ysolda sighed. "But I have to. It's the only way to join the Caravan. Ri'saad said that if I want to become an honorary member of the Elite Caravanning Discount Club, that I had to bring him a mammoth tusk. He would also allow me to travel with him back to Elsweyr, where I could meet all the Khajiit clans." She hugged herself tightly as she thought about being in Elsweyr. "I might even get to adopt a Khajiit cub…like you did."

I face-palmed and turned away. "This is by far the dumbest idea you've ever had." I mumbled to myself. I spun myself around and glared at her. "But this is what you want, right? You are sure that this is what you want?"

She nodded. "I'm sick of Skyrim, Lydia. I grew up here, yes, and I love you guys: Hadvar, Ralof, you, Jon…but…I just don't like being here anymore. I want to see the world. And this is a great opportunity for me to learn more about the Khajiit culture. I want to do this, Lydia. Even if I might die trying."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Dammit." I muttered. "Fine, I won't stop you. But…I am coming with you. You are my friend, and if this is something you must do, I will help you in any way I can."

Ruby dropped in from the top of a building, landing beside me. "I'm coming too!" She squealed out in her high-pitched voice. I was enough to make me jump in surprise.

Ysolda's face instantly lit up. "Aww, you're coming with us?"

Ruby glanced away. She was obviously embarrassed at seeing Ysolda react to her still being a cub. "Yes. If the leader of the caravan is so stupid as to send you on an assignment that could get you killed, I cannot just let him send someone that loves our race to her death for some stupid tusk."

"And I'm coming too!" I heard Maleek's deep scratchy voice call from the same rooftop. He dropped down, landing on the other side of me. He glared at Ruby and crossed his arms. "I cannot just let you put yourself in danger, Ruby. If you got injured…well…hell with it, I wouldn't be the same if you were gone."

Ruby cried out and ran into Maleek's arms, crying joyfully at hearing him say it. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Cecilie. "Well, Cecilie? Are you coming as well?"

She paused for a second, looking at all of us. She finally smiled and stood up. "I did want to spend some time with you, so yeah. This seems like it will be fun." She looked away and I could see something sad in her eyes. Was something bad about to happen?

I couldn't help it. I looked at everyone and said, "Ok, guys. I'll meet you at the gate. I need a moment with my daughter." I looked at Ruby and said, "Ruby, I just need a minute with Cecilie…alone. Go kiss Maleek or something."

Ruby nodded. "Yes, Mommy." She replied enthusiastically. She took off, pulling Maleek by the arm as she did so. Maleek glanced over at me, pleading me to help him. I shook my head. Nope, you deserve this for calling me out in the middle of a war conference.

When everyone was gone, I looked over at Cecilie. "Ok, Cecilie. What's going on? You've been acting weird lately. Is something bad going to happen? What? What's going on?"

She glanced at me calmly as I finished my rapid-fire questioning. When I finished, she drew with her foot in the dirt before glancing up at me. "Nothing bad is going to happen, nothing like what you're thinking. It's just…well…I have to leave soon. I have to go home."

"What? Why?" I asked her.

She glanced up at me. "I…I can't exist in two spots at the same time. If I stay…I'll be endangering the future."

She paused and looked up at me. She let me just sink that in my head before I understood it. So…it was finally time then? I started nodding. "I'm sorry you have to leave."

She nodded. "I am too. I mean, I don't have a family waiting for me. As I told you once before, you died. I did not tell you how or when. I have to tell you now, otherwise the future will only go in the same direction it's always been going; nothing will change, and the entire world will pay for it. This is my chance to change the world for the better." She glanced up at me and I could see her starting to cry. She sat back down in the grass and motioned for me to sit down as well. "Mom, you should sit down. You're not going to like what I have to say next."

I struggled with sitting down. My entire body was locking up at the anticipation of whatever it was that my daughter needed to tell me. She was finally going to tell me everything about what happened to me, to Asger, to everyone. I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear it, but I guess Cecilie believed I was, otherwise she'd lie about it. I found myself nodding, saying, "Ok, Cecilie. I'm ready."

"No, you're not." She replied back. "You never were." She exhaled silently before leaning back. "You die about 10 months from now. You die when I'm a week old. The cause of death was something close to a broken heart. You died because Father dies. But, it all starts here, at this meeting. Father discusses what to do about the dragons and it leads to him using a Shout to summon a dragon to Dragonsreach. He kicks the dragon's butt and uses him to fly him up to some holy dragon place that only dragons know about. This place has some magical portal that will take him to Sovngarde to fight Alduin while he recovers from his defeat. Asger fights Alduin in Sovngarde but in the process, loses his soul to him during the fight. When Dad returns, he is soulless and no longer is capable of expressing emotions."

"I could never believe that." I replied to myself. I just couldn't see Asger being emotionless. It was like comparing me and Asger as being the same person. It wasn't possible.

"But he does. And since he can't express feelings, he no longer loves you. For some reason, the combination of being pregnant with me, being exposed to all the crap you've been through, and losing the love of your life caused your heart to fail. Father becomes High King of Skyrim in honor of taking the fight to Alduin and returning alive. He does nothing to stop the Thalmor because he no longer cares about what they do. Doesn't care about me, either. All this leads to the day where Fiirnar, the evil one, marches into Skyrim and claims it as his own. It leads to my death and it leads to all of Tamriel falling to the Aldmeri Dominion." Cecilie finished.

I stopped and took a deep breath. That was a lot to take in all at once. For some reason…I could see it happening. It seemed like something out of a horror story, but I could see it happening. It had to have happened. My daughter was living proof that it _did_ happen. And this was the time where things were being settled. This was the breaking point. I choked down my bile as I cleared my mind. I could deal with this, I just needed a plan. That's why she brought it up. She said it was time to change the world. This was it, our moment to fix it. And she couldn't do it alone, that's why she chose to talk to me. She believed that I could fix it. "Ok, I understand. How do we fix it?"

She looked over at me, tears flowing down her face. "Remember what I said when I first met you? I said, that you had to learn to love…hate…and then you had to learn how to serve to the death…" She paused.

"What?" I started. "I…I have to die?"

She nodded. "Yes. This is the only way to change the world. You have to die so that you can go to Sovngarde. You need to fight by Father's side as his Housecarl and protect him from Alduin just like you did on the mountain. By doing this, he will keep his soul and when he returns, he will do what is right and he will save not only Skyrim but the rest of the world as well." Cecilie looked down at the ground. "It's the only way, I've looked for others."

"If I die…you'll never be born." I told her.

"It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." She told me back. "I grew up without loving parents. Sure, I had Nisha who you named as my Housecarl, ironically, to watch over me, but it was never the same. My life was not filled with many happy moments. I only came back in time in the first place so that I could meet you and Daddy before the incident. I was having so much fun that I didn't want to leave, but…I have to soon. I have nothing to look forward to except a war with a bunch of friends that I've made along the way. And if I screw that up…there will be even more messed up futures than just my own to deal with."

Cecilie stood up and looked down at me. "Trust me, Mom. If there was a different way to fix this, I would have already done it. Since we still have a few days until this conference closes, I suggest you brood on it for a while and see if you can think of something I couldn't. That's why I told you, because I believe you will do the impossible and save all of us. But, don't tell Father anything that has happened here. He needs to keep his head clear for his fight for Alduin. If you tell him about how everything happens…he might lose more than just his emotional soul. He might not return at all."

I continued to sit there, thinking, brooding. I couldn't accept this. There had to be a way for me to do this without sacrificing either myself or my daughter. I had to do something before we left. I looked at her and smiled. "Are you ready to see a miracle?"

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Time to see a miracle. Oh and a couple of random chapters involving Ysolda and her becoming a fighter. I plan on making it as funny as hell. I hope I succeed at it._


	82. Ch 82: New High King

**Cearbhail:** _Done with this the very next day. I lost sleep becuse of yesterday's chapter. I try to keep it light and fluffy but these chapters are nothing but emotional baggage for me. Luckily I get to go back to having fun after this one. Well, until the last few chapters at least. I hope you all enjoy. I like the ending of this chapter at least._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Cecilie just told me everything: about me, about her, about…everything. She told me that I will die one week after her birth. And I die because I get stupidly crushed at not having Asger in my life. As stupid as it sounds, I can't say that I won't. But anyway, she told me about how Asger goes to Sovngarde to fight Alduin and gets part of his soul consumed by him. When he comes back, he's soulless and becomes the High King of Skyrim. Only thing is that he doesn't care about the Thalmor anymore and doesn't do his job at keeping them at bay. Fiirnar marches in and kills him, I guess. Cecilie was a little lacking in that answer. I'll have to ask later. So, because Asger goes to Sovngarde and gets partially eaten, the whole world basically becomes doomed to the Aldmeri Dominion._

_That was what happened with our talk. However, she brought it up to me because she believes I can fix it. I just have to die and kill us both so that I can save Asger. Then he will come back and save the world from the Dominion. In a sense…sacrifice two lives to save millions in the future. I believe we had this chat with Ronkaviena during our discussion about killing off all the Dreugh. I know what Asger would say if I were to bring it up. He'd tell me that even sacrificing one life is one too many. He'd find a way to beat the odds, as he did numerous times before. So, because of this…I have decided to come up with an alternative plan that will work. I just need a lot of my friends to help. I know which ones I will tell. Asger is not allowed to know, so I can't come to him for help…but I have a lot of friends that I can ask._

_Oh, and Ysolda has decided that she is going to leave Skyrim. She's joining the Khajiit Caravans as a member of their clan by proving her worth to them. All she has to do is bring them a mammoth tusk. It's really an easy assignment…but knowing us….yeah…_

_Lydia…_

_…_

I snapped my journal shut and turned to face Cecilie. She was looking up at me expectantly, like she had no idea what was going on for the first time in her life. She had effectively changed history for the first time since she's been back. She has no idea what's going to happen. For her…it's taboo. For me, it's an opportunity to teach her that we'll always be here for her, and that we can do anything we set our minds to.

I looked at the door leading to Dragonsreach. I allowed myself to take a deep breath before I pushed the door open and rushed inside with Cecilie right behind me. I stepped in just in time to hear one of the Graybeards say something. "Is it really the fate of us to defy Alduin? He has come back for a reason. Do we really have to kill him for just being what he was designed to be?"

Asger shook his head. "No, I don't believe we do. I will if there is no chance of him not eating our people, our home, or our afterlife. He is the destroyer…he destroys things. But if I don't do anything about it…the world will be undone. It's that simple."

The Graybeard nodded. "Then you must find a way to get to Alduin…who rests in Sovngarde."

Asger nodded to that. "I've had a long talk with Paarthurnax regarding the very subject. He told me that I had to call and challenge one of Alduin's top dragons: Odahviing. If we captured him in some type of trap, I could use both his defeat and the trap as a way of finding out where Alduin is hiding."

My Uncle stood up and pounded on the table. "This is a perfect opportunity then. We have a trap in this very castle that is conveniently designed to trap dragons after luring them in. I'm sure if you do whatever it is that you need to do to draw him in…we can capture him in the very net I used to catch my Mother-in-Law…" He looked over at me. "Because she was half-dragon as well." Then he looked over at Tullius and Ulfric. "And since we've already agreed that these two fine leaders are no longer fighting against each other…all the better time for me to approve this plan."

Asger nodded to my Uncle. "Thank you for your continuing support, Jarl Balgruuf."

"After everything you've done: saved my town from dragons, turned my apathetic niece into one of the finest heroines of her time, and bringing an end to the civil war while promising to antagonize the Thalmor…this is the smallest of ways I can begin to repay you." My Uncle replied to Asger, bowing as he finished.

That's when Ulfric pushed himself up. "And now…we have all the Jarls under the same roof. I say…we call the Moot. My men have unearthed the Jagged Crown. I say we choose who holds it on their brow."

Tullius rolled his eyes. "Is this really an appropriate time to grab the seat of High King?" He looked over at Ulfric. "You may have the support of half the Jarls, but the other half support Jarl Elisif. All you're doing is wasting our time when we should be finishing up this war conference. We still have to discuss how we're going to fix Winterhold, what we're going to do with the Aldmeri Dominion…and several other topics that have just come to my ears…like the news that Maven Black-Briar holds as much illegal power as she does. That needs discussed more than addressing yourself as High King."

Ulfric smiled and glanced over at Tullius. "I was not going to suggest myself or Elisif. No…I have come to find a man who is more worthy of the throne than anyone I've ever met. He's faced more dangers than any of us have…he's changed more lives than we have…no one here can compare to him, what he's done, what he's said…how he's acted." He looked over at Asger and pointed at him. "Asger…the Dragonborn…he deserves the Jagged Crown. He deserves to be High King of Skyrim. I feel that under his rule we can live peacefully again as a proud nation."

Cecilie pulled on my arm. "So…this is how it happens." I could see a tear rolling down her cheek. "I never imagined it happened like this."

Elisif stood up, pounding her hand on the table as well. "Ow.." She said, pulling her hand back, hugging it to her chest. "That hurts.." She mumbled before clearing her throat. "Um…I agree with Jarl Ulfric. While I do not agree with some of the Dragonborn's methods with dealing with the Aldmeri Dominion…I do find his overall being perfect for the crown."

Skald stood up, raising his hands. "Now, hold on a second. We have a situation here. All the holds already have Jarls. So…who will give up their throne?"

Tullius scratched his beard. "Why do we need to dismiss any Jarls? Can you not just…pick someone to be High King who is not a Jarl?" Everyone paused to look over at him. It was a look of confusion. He shrugged before sitting back in his seat. "Ok, sorry to ask. Jeez…you Nords and your sacred traditions."

The Jarls looked over at Asger. The old woman from Morthal stood up and said, "I say we vote him as High King, regardless of Jarl position. A High King should be chosen on his merit, not his standing in society."

One by one the other Jarls started standing up. It was getting to the point where Asger was actually backing up. "Whoa…who said I even wanted to be High King?"

Ulfric nodded. "That settles it. He is perfect for the crown." Everyone cheered with him. General Tullius just looked lost in his little seat, so did Asger. I kept forgetting that he was not Skyrim-raised. He didn't know just how important this title was, even though he knew of our history. If he rejected to the idea of being High King…it meant that he would respect the title even more so than a power-hungry jackal.

Asger finally rubbed the back of his head. "Ok…I'll make you a deal. When I go after Alduin…there is a slight chance I might not make it back. If I return alive…I'll become High King."

Everyone seemed ok with that. Ulfric nodded to Elisif, saying, "I guess the Moot is completed then. We'll hold the ceremony in Solitude once the Dragonborn returns from Sovngarde…or wherever that bastard dragon lies."

Since it was growing silent again, I looked over at Cecilie and said, "Now…I want you to pay attention because this is how I solve problems." I marched up to the war conference and I started pointing at people. "Brelyna, Esbern, Babette…where's Babette?"

"She's in the kitchen making love to a steak." Asger replied.

"Ok, tell her to come meet me in Breezehome." I replied back. I started pointing my finger around again. "Farengar, Serana, you…bard guy, Zaliika, you…Jarl of Morthal, yes you…the old woman with psychic visions, and…" I continued to look around but I looked over at Cecilie instead. "Cecilie, go get Ruby and tell her to meet me at Breezehome. Come with her, ok? We'll discuss what we have to discuss once you both get there. And…tell Ysolda to wait just a little longer, ok?"

Cecilie nodded. "Ok, Mom. I'll go get her now."

Asger stood up. "What's going on, Lydia?"

I smiled. "It's a very personal matter, honey. So, I need to borrow our friends to help me with it. You're not invited."

He nodded and shrugged. "Ah…I get it. Surprise birthday party stuff… I get it."

Crap! His birthday was coming up soon, I completely forgot. Dammit. Oh well, we'll go over that as well. "Oh…you found me out. Oh well, you're still not invited." I turned to everyone else and said, "If I called your name, please come with me to my house, Breezehome. I really need your help with something."

…

"Ok, Lydia. So…what kind of party are we doing?" Brelyna asked as she tried to squeeze through the other people. My house was small and we had a lot of people all crammed into the small living space we had. Cecilie and Ruby were sitting on the staircase that led up to the bedrooms. The rest of us were all standing tightly together as we spoke in enough hushed tones that we didn't yell in someone's ear by mistake. "I'm guessing we'll be using magic since you've called every mage in Skyrim into your home."

I looked over at Brelyna and shook my head. "Well, I had forgotten Asger even had a birthday coming up until he mentioned it at the conference. I'm sure you guys will think of something on that respect but…I have something else in mind." I looked back at Cecilie. "You all know that Cecilie is from the future by now and that she's a seer, as is our Jarl Ravenclaw…"

"It's Ravencrone!" She replied. "And yes, I understand that I am a seer as well."

I nodded to her. "No disrespect, Jarl Ravencrone." I looked back to Cecilie and said, "Cecilie just shared with me the details of what's about to happen in our history. Long story short: Asger is going to Sovngarde, beats Alduin, but loses part of his soul in the process. He comes back apathetic, lets the Thalmor walk all over us. I die from a broken heart, Cecilie dies from something and Skyrim falls into countless years of suffering and Thalmor control."

Everyone glanced at me with the widest of eyes I've ever seen. Babette was the first one to say something. "You told me all this when you first met me!"

Cecilie nodded. "Yes, now is the time I told you about 200 years ago."

Babette nodded. "So…what are we going to do to fix this?"

"Cecilie says that the only way we can save the world is if I kill myself, go to Sovngarde, help Asger fight Alduin, and get him back home in one piece. It will keep Asger from becoming a lifeless version of me running Skyrim…"

"Can't have that…" Babette called out. "That just be depressing…having someone like you as High Queen."

"…Thanks." I gritted through my teeth at her. "Anyway. I don't want to die. If I do die…Cecilie can't be born either. I won't have that. So, I called all you mages, bards, shamans, you lizard chef girl… well, I called you here so that you may find a way for me to go to Sovngarde temporarily…so that I can fight alongside Asger, and come back without killing either myself or my daughter."

I paused and looked at everyone. They were staring at me with empty eyes. Farengar was the first one to move. "I do believe I have an old tome about the Knight of the Nine…the one who went into the heavens to kill the etheric Daedric being. His case is the same as yours…fighting an immortal god in an ethereal plane. He made it back in one piece."

Babette smiled. "I could always turn you into a vampire."

Serana nodded. "Yes, that could work. I could also kill you and then raise you. You'd still function and you'd still give birth. Sure…you'd die, but Cecilie wouldn't."

I rubbed my temple at their remarks. "So far…I like Farengar's plan the most."

Brelyna tapped her chin in thought. "From what Asger has told us…we have a few days to think this through. I say we all form a study group and pour tome through tome and see about creating a spell or a potion that will allow Lydia to travel through the dimensions without sacrificing her soul."

Ruby smiled. "I know a book that has many potions inside it that would be useful for this. The Dreamstride. Our old friend, Erandur, has that book. And since Lydia is the only one of us he actually likes…I'm sure he'd be willing to help us."

I smiled and looked back at Cecilie. "And this is why we have friends…excluding vampires."

"Hey!" Both Babette and Serana called out to me.

"The Dreamstride…that's a master work of Alchemy." Farengar stated. "Do any of us know Alchemy to such a degree that we can even replicate any potion within the text?"

Everyone paused and looked around. Both Babette and Zaliika stepped forward. "I have 200 years of Alchemy experience. I can make any potion." Babette proudly stated.

"And I am a master chef of the Soup Guild. If that book has a list of ingredients and measurements…I can easily make them as well." Zaliika stated, throwing her arm around Babette. "We'll make the potion, you brainy-boys figure out which one we'll be using…if we even use one."

I nodded to everyone. "So, we're all on the same page then? I have to go help my friend Ysolda with some quest. I'm taking Ruby and Cecilie with me. You guys keep finding a way for me to go to Sovngarde without dying. I know it's a lot to ask but it's for the good of everyone."

They nodded and as I started to close the door, I heard Babette say, "So, are we having balloons or streamers? What about a clown? I bet Asger would love a clown at his birthday party…"

I sighed as I snapped the door shut behind me. Did I just place my fate in their hands? No…I just placed both my fate _AND_ Cecilie's in their hands. Dammit. I really should know better, but…I guess it can't be helped. They know what they're doing and I should start trusting my friends more.

As I turned around to leave, Cecilie turned around and opened the door. "Oh, guys. No telling my Dad what we discussed here. It might upset him. We can't have him distracted for his final fight with Alduin."

I turned around. There was something I wasn't thinking of. "No, wait…do tell him, but not everything. If I just show up to the final battle…it will horribly confuse him. That can be just as deadly as telling him about his dying in the final battle. So… tell him that I plan on coming to Sovngarde to help him fight Alduin. Tell him your plans on how to do it too. It will keep him enough in the loop that it won't surprise him when I show up."

Brelyna nodded. "Ok, we'll tell him about your coming to Sovngarde then."

As we walked away, Cecilie glanced up at me. "Do you think this will work?"

I looked over at her. "Why not just glance ahead and tell me yourself?"

She looked away. "I told you…looking into the future is difficult because of how certain actions change the main course. It becomes blurry and even if I do see something…it continually changes." She shrugged. "But I believe that you can pull this off." She laughed and shook her head. "For once…I don't know a thing about what's going to happen. It's kinda exciting in a dreadful way."

"That's every second when I'm with your father." I said back.

"Ha! That's funny." Ruby called from behind.

I jumped out of my skin and caught my breath. "Ruby! I forgot you were back there."

She huffed and walked past me. "Yeah, yeah. You had a touching moment with Cecilie and now you've forgotten all about me. I know, I know. I'm just not as important as your other daughter. Your real daughter." She took off running for the gate.

I face-palmed and growled under my breath. "I swear…" I mumbled.

"Teenagers?" Cecilie replied, putting the missing word in my mouth.

I nodded. "Yeah…both of you are driving me crazy."

Cecilie smiled and glanced over at Ruby, who was waiting for us next to Maleek. "Well, soon enough she won't have anyone else to get in her way. I'm only here for three more days at the most."

I stopped to think about that as we quietly approached the gate. I only had three more days with her before she left for good. Even after I gave birth to her 10 months from now… it still wouldn't be the same Cecilie. This Cecilie and the one I give birth to will be completely different people. Mine would grow up with both her parents, while this one had none. That wasn't fair.

"You can teleport your friends willy-nilly." I told her.

"True." She replied. "After I use the Mark spell on them."

"Then Mark me. That way you can have me come visit you in your time. Since I'm dead in your time…I can't interfere with my own presence." I responded. "And I can help you with this war thingy you've been talking about. And I won't take' no' for an answer. I can visit for short periods of time, so little that it won't affect anything for me to come back home. And you can place me like a minute after I left. It won't bother anyone."

She rushed in to hug me. "Thanks, Mom." She was crying again. So I patted her on the back. "This means a lot to me."

After we were done hugging and crying, we walked up to Ysolda who…really did not know the first thing about putting on iron armor. I did not even know where to begin with it. "Ysolda…that's men's armor." Well…that's a start anyway.

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **So many things wrong with that armor it's not even not funny. First off iron plates that aren't even tied, her shin guards are on backwards, her thigh plates are on her hips... it's ... wow. Anyway, behind the scenes... Asger is picking out the perfect blindfold for his surprise party. And he's writing up party invitations. No surprise there.._


	83. Ch 83: Three is the lonliest number

**Cearbhail:** _And we're continuing. Everyone's lovey-dovey and happy-wappy. Uck...why do I write this stuff? Anyway, this should be a decent chapter. We're finally starting this quest...after I tie up some loose ends that I began earlier._

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_Three entries in one day? Man it's been a long day. I guess it makes sense though. I mean, my daughter, Cecilie has dropped a heaping ball of fire on my brain today with the news that I will die unless I kill myself first….yeah. That makes sense. But anyway, I have spit in her 'fate' by using all my magic-wielding friends to not only defy my fate, but the fate of Skyrim being controlled by the Thalmor. I have given them the responsibility to find me a way to go to Sovngarde without dying. You know, it's an easy feat, going to our afterlife without dying first. It will be a challenge, but…I'm sure they will think of something first._

_I would be outside killing a mammoth right now if it weren't for Ysolda. She had no idea that armor plates that have curves are meant for women, or that they don't go on the front. That and the fact that you have to find a size of curved armor that fits your figure, otherwise all the extra length can cause bruising from either rubbing or bouncing. Armor is very tricky that way. If it's too tight or too loose, it will cause problems along the way. So, we're in Ruby's bag and she's taking measurements so that she can personally create some crystal armor for her. I guess this is good. Ruby gets to do what she does best and…Ysolda gets something that is by design….made by a Khajiit._

_And here's the real kicker…because myself and Cecilie are also in the bag, Ruby has decided that we're all getting new armor. Even she is making herself some new armor because she's grown a couple inches since we left the Blades compound and her current armor is too tight. My armor is being made from some crystal called 'labradorite'. Ruby is making hers out of…blue moonstone. Yeah, she's becoming a Khajiit. Cecilie's armor is being made out of snowflake obsidian and Ysolda's is being make out of ametrine: some fusion of amethyst and citrine._

_Lydia…_

_…_

I looked down at my new armor. The plates looked similar to steel plates, but lighter, soft to the touch, and much, much stronger. This was something I could never begin to take for granted. Sure, most of our guards in Whiterun and the entire army of Lammer were housing various styles of crystalline armor and weaponry, but when you wear something like this…you half-believe it won't work. There was something added to our armor that added something extra: malachite gauntlets. The gauntlets matched our armor set, but each gauntlet had two sets of incorporated rings of malachite: which created barriers that protected us against magicka attacks (shouts included). I sure hope I have these when I go into battle against Alduin.

My armor's color was something special too. Labradorite shifts colors based on how much light hits it and at what angle. If I stood just right, a blue sheen would appear from inside. I thought it was a lovely feature. I don't usually express anything like this but I love my new armor set. It looked like a combination of the Blades' armor, but I had my steel style plates that wore when I first met Asger. The Blades part of the armor began at the shoulders and went down to my arms and back. It looked nice and it felt better than having the Blades' chest plates; when they dented, they pinched my stomach.

Cecilie's armor looked more like her old battlemage armor: light blue fabric with light crystal plating. Her fabric was now white with blue glowing runes that were enchanted into her armor, while her crystal armor covered most of her body. Heck, it looked more like fabric more than it did armor, but that's what battlemages wore, I guess. It helped with flowing energy, and she is a mage. It makes some sense. Ruby's armor looked like a miniature version of the iron armor, as did Ysolda's (well, in the fact that it resembled iron armor).

It only took a few hours for Ruby to create all these armors. She had all her crystal spirits help her design and create the armor from scratch. They all worked well as a team. Once we were done with our armor, we quickly had a small snack before leaving the bag to leave on our quest.

"Are you sure I have this on right? For some reason, I feel like I should spin this plate around." Ysolda told me as she showed me her shoulder plate.

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you want to protect your armpit so much? I understand that it's not a fun place to be hit with an arrow but…if you put a plate there, your arm will be uncomfortable bending."

Ysolda was about to answer, but we were cut short by a joyous scream coming from the tavern. I turned around, as did everyone else. Stormcloaks were running out of the tavern, swinging their swords around in a victorious manner. The Imperials that stood around the tavern all readied themselves for whatever drunken fight that was about to commence. When the Stormcloaks noticed this, most of them dropped their swords and charged up to the Imperials.

_This is it!_ I thought to myself. _They are going to take over Whiterun while Ulfric pretends to negotiate a surrender!_ I reached for my new diamond katana and prepared for the moment when we would have to go cut down every Stormcloak.

I watched as the Stormcloaks threw their arms around some of the Imperials and…started hugging them. The Imperials were just as confused as I was. They all looked at each other for some sort of explanation as to what was happening. That's when I saw Ralof running up to us, Hadvar right beside him. They looked friendly at each other, like we had when we were children.

That's when Ralof charged into Ysolda, throwing her into a hug. Hadvar stopped near me, nodding a welcome. "Lydia, great news…the war is over. Jarl Ulfric and General Tullius have a cease fire. We are allies now."

I nodded and looked over at Ralof. "And you guys are friends again? I thought you hated each other."

Ralof looked over at me, while still hugging Ysolda close to him. "As it turns out, we don't. It was the war…always was this stupid war." Then he looked over at Ysolda and said, "While I was in the war…I had some time to think about what I always regretted."

She looked up at him, completely confused. "And?" She started.

He leaned in and kissed her. She hesitated for a second before pulling him closer to her. I rolled my eyes and looked away. I held my hand out and said, "Hadvar…I'm engaged, so don't even try it."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I'm dating this Stormcloak woman, Hjordis. We crossed blades in battle every once in a while and…one thing led to another."

Ralof laughed as he looked over at Hadvar. "Jess? You're dating Jess?" He shook his head. "Didn't see that coming." He looked over at me. "Remember meeting her? She was my second-in-command during all our scouting missions. We all called her Jess because we recused this child that couldn't say 'Hjordis', so she called her Jess instead, the name of her pony. Poor Jess hated it when I called her that." Ralof went back to hugging Ysolda quietly.

"Lydia!" The Old man Battle-Born screamed as he ran up to me. "Lydia. Now is the time. Jon and Oflina are gone for a couple minutes. The Battle-Borns are going to march over to the Gray-Man house and we're going to burn it to the ground! By the time Jon and that wench return…she'll have no family left."

I looked around and said, "Um…old man…the civil war is over. Ulfric and Tullius have declared a cease fire."

The old man looked at me for a second, like something weird had just happened. He finally nodded and said, "Well, I hear that the wedding is in six days, so I will go prepare our farm for the celebration. At least we can still shove _that_ down the Gray-Manes' throats."

Wow, it was amazing how fast his acceptance of the civil war ending also somehow ended our personal war with the Gray-Manes. I smiled and slugged him in the arm. "So, we're at peace with the Gray-Manes then?"

He nodded. "Well, of course. We were only at war because we supported different sides of the conflict. Now that the conflict is settled…we have nothing left to fight about. I'm going to challenge Vignar to a beer chugging contest now. I'm seventy and my liver has yet to cease functioning. I should do something about that." He walked away, leaving me to stand there and wonder…what they hell just happened to our town? It seemed like every major conflict was now settling itself. Soon, we'd be in a perfect world with no problems. It was amazing how _we_ did all this. This was because _we_ did something to make this world better. Damn you, Asger…your coming to Skyrim has made life better for everyone.

I shook my head and looked over at Ysolda, who was wrapped up in Ralof's arms. "So, you're moving out of Skyrim?" He asked.

She nodded. "Once I get this horn…I'm going to travel with the Khajiit caravans. I'll get to see all of Tamriel."

He nodded. "Do you mind if I come with you?"

They looked into each other's eyes and finally, Ysolda smiled. "That would be great. I could use the company." They kissed again. I threw up a bit in my mouth.

I looked over at Ruby, who was wrapped up in Maleek's arms. She watched Ralof and Ysolda kissing and pulled on Maleek's arm. "How come we're not like that?" She asked him, looking up at him.

He only rolled his eyes and started pulling away. "Because we're not a couple?" He returned to her.

I face-palmed and looked over at Hadvar. "Ok…we're leaving before this evolves any further. Do you feel like joining us?" I asked him. "It'll be like the old days; you, me, Ralof, Ysolda…traveling the area looking for danger."

Hadvar chuckled as he started walking away. "Lydia…I've been fighting non-stop for the past year or so. Normally, I would come but…eh…I'll go get Hjordis and we'll meet you outside."

Now I was going to be surrounded by three raging couples. Oh joy…

…

As we got outside, Ysolda took a few minutes with Ruby and Maleek to go talk to Ri'saad. Ysolda told him that she'd come back with a mammoth's tusk, he said he'd wait until she returned. Ruby grilled him out for making her do this, and then he started hissing at her. Then Ruby looked confused for a second before she started hissing back. When she finished hissing, she grabbed her throat in confusion before she started hissing to him again. The two of them went on for minutes hissing at each other before Ruby finally stepped away, still clutching at her throat like she couldn't believe it existed.

When she did leave, she ran up to me, her eyes filled with concern. "What's happening to me?" She looked back at Ri'saad, who nodded to me wisely. "I…I hissed."

"You always hiss." I told her, patting her on the head. "You're a cat…cat's hiss."

"But.." She started. "This was weird. When he hissed at me…it felt like he was talking to me. And then…when I hissed back, I think I was communicating back to him…and he continued communicating to me like it was normal…" She looked up at me, still confused. "He told me it was how Khajiits speak to each other…through hisses. But…I never learned that. So…how am I able to do what I've never learned?"

Ysolda walked up, patting Ruby on the back. "That's just what Khajiits do, Ruby. You learn from sucking your mother's milk as a young cub. All that information is just absorbed into your head: your ancestors, your clan, your language and mannerisms. It all comes from the milk you drink."

Ruby nodded. "But…my mother was killed before I could finish drinking. That's why I never really knew what I was so…maybe I had just enough to understand this…hissing language." She said in an asking way. She shook her head before stepping down the path. "Doesn't matter, I'm no more Khajiit than Lydia is funny."

"Hey!" I said to her as I ran up, pulling her to my side for a hug. "I'm more not funny than you'll ever be not Khajiit."

"Yeah right!" Ruby returned. "I'm no not Khajiit that when I walk into a town, people stand beside me with their pockets wide-opened."

"Well…I'm so not funny that when I tell a joke, dead people live not laughing." As opposed to people die laughing. Shut up, I thought it was clever.

"Well, I'm so not Khajiit that…crap…I can't think of anything. Oh… I'm so not Khajiit that I use first person perspective and fell in love with an Argonian." She crossed her arms and flicked her tail. "I win."

I shrugged. "Well, that is true. But, if I recall correctly, there have been a lot of Khajiit/Argonian relationships throughout history."

"Shut up, Lydia!" Ruby screamed, covering her ears. "I don't want to hear that! I don't care if my ancestor's brother married a lizard."

What? I had no idea that even happened. When did she learn that?

Cecilie looked over at me and pulled me in close. "Nisha told her about her life during the Aedra Wars."

"Uh…guys.." Ralof said to us.

"What?" I asked him. When I turned to see him, I could see a dragon flying away. And…in his claws…was Ysolda. "Oh…shab!" I screamed and reached for the bow that was always on my back, always. Then I reached up for my arrows that were always there too.

Ysolda looked down at us, tears just streaming from her eyes. "I don't wanna die this way!"

"Just hold on tight, Ysolda. We'll get you down!" I screamed. "Hey! Fish-breath! Bet you can't beat me in a one-on-one fight. What are you…an un-evolved chicken?!"

The dragon spun around and glared at me. "How dare you compare me to poultry." He dropped Ysolda and glared over at me. "YOL TOOR…"

I released my arrow and let it soar through the sky. It hit the dragon right in his mouth and his head rocked back. When his wings missed a beat, he came crashing to the ground. Ysolda had just enough time to scramble to her feet before the dragon's wing smacked her back to the ground. She pulled and scratched at the dirt as she pulled herself out. The dragon was too busy trying to flip himself around.

The rest of us all had our weapons out and we were charging the dragon. I unsheathed my new diamond katana and threw my bow over my shoulder. Ruby was beside me, her diamond claw gauntlets being slid on. She glanced up at me and smiled. "I wish Asger was here."

The dragon pulled up the wing that was keeping Ysolda pinned. It came crashing down, smothering her instantly. It pulled up again and was crashing back down again. The dragon was trying to push himself up by attempting to fly. If he kept this up, Ysolda might die before she even left Whiterun. Go figure.

"IISS!" A giant cloud of ice fell upon the dragon's wing as it came crashing down again. It froze only inches away from slamming into Ysolda. Ysolda, who was covered up in a fetal position ball, glanced up at the frozen wing and panicked.

I looked up to see Asger freefalling from the top of the wall that surrounded the city. He landed a foot away from Ysolda and pulled her out from underneath the wing. When she rose, he helped her brush off the dirt.

I turned my attention back to the dragon, who was looking up at Asger with a flaming mouth. I pushed ahead, flashing. I found myself standing right on the dragon's throat with a sword running from the jawline up through to the top of his skull. The dragon glanced at me for a second before growling out his last words. "Toor…sh…" The fire in his mouth died silently and his other wing fell lifelessly to the ground.

The dragon started peeling away into the rainbow fire so I pulled my katana out and jumped off his neck before it disappeared. The ashes all floated from the body and flowed into Asger, who welcomed the gift with his arms spread out wide. When it finished, he smiled. "Now…I have mastered Ice Form."

I nodded to him. "That's good to know. You're not coming with us, are you?"

Asger shook his head. "No, I have to stay here and help sort out any conflicts that might start up. I'm heading over to the Gray-Manes after I make sure all the Imperials and Stormcloaks are good and happy. And then there are the Grillers that are at war with the Saladeers . That will be a messy cleanup." He shook his head. "Being High King…even unofficially…is a hard job." He patted me on the shoulder and nodded. "I heard you're helping Ysolda with a request. Good luck and…I'll see you in Sovngarde." He winked at me before turning around. He started marching away before waving at me with his back turned. "That doesn't mean you get to die before you return!"

I waved back to him. "Same goes for you! You don't get to leave for Sovngarde before I return!" He gave me a thumbs-up and disappeared back into Whiterun. I turned to look at Ysolda, who was crying in Ralof's arms. "Do you want to just wait here while I get you a mammoth's tusk?"

She shook her head. "No…I have to do this. If I'm going to be traveling around…I need to learn how to protect myself. That's why Ri'saad wants this tusk, so that I can show him that I won't be a burden to him or his clan."

I nodded. "Oh…and this entire time, I thought he just wanted to sell it." Seriously, why hadn't I thought about it differently?

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Yup, Asger knows about Lydia's plan to follow him to Sovngarde. Good thing too. If he didn't I could see the outcome all ready. Asger is pushing against Alduin's teeth while Alduin tries to crush him with just his jaw power alone. Then Lydia runs up and Asger looks at her. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asks and then runs the thought that...she died. And then he looses the will to fight for just that one second and... 'gulp' gone._


	84. Ch 84: Duel to the death

**Cearbhail:** _This is a first...ever for me. This should be good. And I won't ruin the surprise of who's really in charge of this. But anyway, war will follow. K, night._

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_Today is 4e 205, 21st of Evening Star. Where to start? My lovely Lydia has gone on an epic quest to go help one of her old friends find her meaning in this world. Meanwhile, I'm left here in Whiterun as the supervisor of the War Treaty ceremony. There are a lot of formalities that have to be observed and I have to be the go-between for Jarl Ulfric, General Tullius, Fiirnar, Esbern, Arngeir, and Jarl Elisif. Truly, these will be some of the most trying council meetings ever. I will bring peace peacefully and with a balanced equality behind it. Oh, and I get to introduce the new protocols about how to deal with Lammer and their new trade routes and citizenships. I'm thinking of river systems leading into each town with river deep enough for Lammer travels. Now…if only we could keep them from freezing over._

_Back to Lydia. She had me worried for a minute as did Cecilie. After all, she did bulrush into my chest and said 'goodbye' to me. She wouldn't say anything more than that but…I don't need to hear more. I know what's going on, even though everyone thinks I don't. It's that damn surprise birthday party. I bet Cecilie saw someone getting heavily drunk in one of her visions and has decided to return home early. That's the truth that I will stand by and will not even consider other reasons why for her departure. I wonder if I'll ever see her again. Actually, now that I think about it, there is one other reason. I am about to end this journey. I will soon fight Alduin and Cecilie's only reason for coming back to see us will be complete. She can't follow me to wherever I might go…Sovngarde: I keep hearing. But I do know that my to-be wife Lydia will be there. That was made aware to me as well. Didn't want me being all confused when she shows up. That was kind of her but I would be too busy owning Alduin to stop and gawk at her._

_Anyway, the war is officially over. I believe that everything is going to end up ok. I can feel it in the wind. The winds of Fate are blowing in our favor now. Of that, I am sure._

_I guess that's all for today…_

_…_

"If you think that I will give up Jarl Elisif for any of the Companions…you are sadly mistaken, Ulfric." Tullius said while negotiating his terms with Ulfric about the trade-off between both treaty members. If this did not go as well as I had hoped…it could result in a war. I could not fail here.

"And if you think that I will trade Talos for Ysgramor… you are dumber than your trading ideals." Ulfric shook his head and sat back in his seat. "So, we are at an impasse then. You will not trade Jarl Elisif for any of my Companions…and I refuse to trade away my Talos for Ysgramor. It seems that both of our interests for trades have been ignored and refused. I feel that this will result in a retaliation."

"I don't see why you won't make my trade, Ulfric. Are you prepared to start a war just because you are refusing a simple trade? Think about it: it would give you the last piece you need to have all the Five Hundred Companions. All I am asking is that you give up your Talos."

Ulfric shook his head. "No way, I only have one of Him. I'll give you one of my Shors though. I have six of him."

"I don't want Shor. I…I don't know who that even is." Tullius replied.

"Sir, he's the gatekeeper to the halls of Sovngarde. He tests the mettle of every warrior requesting entry to the eternal feast." Rikke replied, bringing her fist up in a victorious grasp. I liked her. She had a bard's spirit.

Jarl Elisif only shook her head. "Why does he want my card anyway?"

Ulfric smiled. "I need something to remember you by." He winked to her as he started looking through his pile of trading cards. "Besides, I have your husband…somewhere in here. Oh! Here he is." He pulled out the card and started walking over to Elisif. "See…it's even holographic."

Elisif smiled and reached out for the card. "Aw…he's in his costume."

Ulfric nodded. "Yeah, this is the Blue Rose Baron card. It's the only one ever made. And it's the strongest card ever made for Duel Jarls." He laughed before saying, "Nah, just kidding. It's one of the weakest cards ever designed. Even in the description it says, 'Effect: If a target to a Shout magic card…this card is sent out of play immediately. It cannot be summoned again during the same duel." He laughed as he walked away from Elisif, who glared at him wide-eyed and ready to cry.

"I will have your head for that, Ulfric." She said.

He only winked. "Hey…I wasn't the one that created the card. That was your precious Thalmor friends that continued this craze. They made great money off of it."

I looked down at my own deck of cards. I had to find a solution to this…otherwise it would result in a war. I looked over to Tullius and then over to Ulfric. There had to be a way to resolve this entire trade. I could not fail. The balance of the world depended on this trade.

"How about…Ulfric trades Jarl Elisif for…Talos?" I reasoned. "And then I trade one of my Talos for Ysgramor. And then I can trade that Ysgramor for Shor. I don't have a Shor yet and so…all three of us can get what we want."

"So, you want Tullius to get TWO Talos and I only get Elisif and an Ysgramor? Somehow I think that you're giving all the good trades to Tullius, Dragonborn." Ulfric started to stand up. "This is a waste of time. Prepare for war, Tullius."

I stood up before Tullius could. I slammed my hand on the table and said, "Wait! I got all backtracked. Ok…hmm. I think Tullius should trade Elisif for Hans the Hardy. I hear that card is common enough but high enough in value that it would create a balance trade. And then I will trade one of my Talos for Tullius's Ysgramor. And then I will trade that Ysgramor to Ulfric for Shor. That way…we all get a fair and balanced trade. Tullius gets to close out all classic God Cards…Ulfric gets to activate his Five Hundred Companions Field Magic card, as well as the complete set of current Jarls. And I…well, I get to sleep at night knowing that this war will be balanced and fair."

Everyone nodded and then Tullius stuck his hand out for Ulfric to shake. "I agree to these terms. Do you, Ulfric?"

He looked down at the hand and then back up at Tullius. He finally exhaled sharply before taking his hand. "It is a fine trade, indeed."

We all started swapping cards and when it was finally finished, I sat back in my seat. "Ok, then. Is that all we have to do with the trading ceremony?"

Ulfric began shifting in his seat. "I want Markarth."

Tullius stared at him in curiosity. "Are you serious? The war is over….and you want to claim a city? How…how does that even work? What are you planning on doing with it?"

He looked away. "I meant the card. I lost mine a few years ago."

Tullius nodded and started looking through his deck. "I do believe I have one in here…somewhere." He looked up at Ulfric and said, "What do you have to offer in return?"

"I have a Barry Bonds card. I hear he was once a great Illusionist. He could throw his knock-out spells so fast that by the time he threw three of them…you were out." Ulfric replied. He pulled out the card and shuffled over to sit next to Tullius, who whistled at the card.

"Wow…this card is something else. Look at those stats. It almost reminds me of Samuel Sosia…the old Arch-Mage's father. You know…the one that fought during the Aedra War? He was so amazing that he could deflect every attack thrown at him. And then he'd run home…because he had a weak bladder."

I started laughing at the odd quip. I never heard Tullius or Ulfric start such obviously referenced material before. I shook my head as I looked down at my deck of cards. I was happy with what I had. I was certain that I could win any battle thrown at me.

I looked over at Anyanava. She glanced around the room, tilting her head in that curious cute way that she did. My heart skipped a beat and I was reminded that I was the reason she was here. I helped the Lamia find their place in this world. I built up their leader and taught them how to survive a changing world. This journey began with me leaving my farm…and now it ends with me negotiating a peace treaty, only after saving countless lives with my bardic training. I couldn't have asked for a better life. And once Lydia came back…I could finally have the life I always wanted. And I couldn't think I could have spent it with anyone else. The looks she gives me still leaves me speechless. The combination of disbelief and complete faith. I love that woman. I'm glad she was chosen as my Housecarl. Of course, I believe it was Fate. And not the four cards that end any duel immediately.

Ulfric and Tullius made their second trade and all that remained were the other people sitting in the room. Esbern glared at Arngeir and stuck his arm out. "If I win…I get to kill Paarthurnax."

Arngeir stuck his arm out taking Esbern's hand. "And if I win, you will never touch him. Ever again. A solemn pledge."

Esbern nodded. "Let's begin. One…two…three…four….I declare…a thumb…war."

The two of them started frantically moving their thumbs around, trying to dodge the other's thumb while also trying them as well. At the same time, they were arm wrestling. They had to win both the thumb war and the arm wrestling match in order for the agreement to hold. The stakes involved the dragon Paarthurnax; whether or not he would live or die. This was the only way the Blades and the Graybeards could resolve their issues. I was fixing every major grudge in this country before I left to fight Alduin. Fiirnar was the only one that couldn't participate. Unfortunately, the Aldmeri Dominion was half the reason this council was called. They had to be dealt with…and I would deal with them later.

"Ma'am…you can't enter without the Jarl…"

"Do you dare stop Elenwen, the Thalmor Ambassador of Skyrim?" Elenwen screamed as she stormed into the room. I spun my head around to see her glaring down at an Imperial soldier, her arms crossed.

The soldier shook his head. "No, ma'am…but there is a conference in session. I was told not to admit anyone until the matter was resolved."

"And that's exactly why I have traveled all the way here from Solitude. The end of the civil war in Skyrim is very important news for the Aldmeri Dominion. I am here to observe the end of the war and make sure everything is within the interests of the Dominion. If they are not, new terms may need to be discussed." Elenwen replied smoothly as she danced around the soldier, making her way up to me.

She bowed her head to me as she came up. "Greetings again, Mister Seymour Butt-kiss…or should I call you Asger the Dragonborn. Or even…Asger Stonearm. That is your father's last name…is it not? Your father, Hjor Stonearm. From my records, he was a war hero. He died in the Battle to take over the Imperial City." She smiled wickedly at me before saying, "And I believe you were there as well…Asger the Malicious. That was your official title during your time in the army…was it not?"

I looked around the table at both General Tullius and Ulfric. General Tullius looked contemplative; like he was trying to remember my name from the war. Ulfric was nodding with his eyes closed and his arms crossed. He remembered me then. I looked back at Elenwen and bowed to her. "I see you have done your homework."

She looked me up and down. "How can I forget? …General Asger the Malicious…the man that led the last defense of the Imperial City…only to abandon it to Councilor Fiirnar's troops at the last second, abandoning his soldiers to the fates of the Aldmeri Dominion. I must applaud you on helping Ulfric escort some of the blind sages from the White-Gold Tower before we got there. I must applaud you on taking away the elder scrolls before we could collect them. I must applaud you…for running away. For leaving your own father behind with your soldiers while you ran away with some blind old men. He died…slowly…painfully. It was a very nasty way to go, and he scorned you the entire time he was dying."

I believe she was trying to get some sort of reaction from me so I forced myself to smile. "Good. He was a wicked man and it was only by accident that he and I arrived at the same battle in the Imperial City. He had his orders…I had mine. And my orders saved all those texts and monks from getting in your company's hands. His orders…gave me time to do mine. He died in the service of the Emperor, before he surrendered to the Aldmeri Dominion."

Elenwen nodded, glaring at me. She finally broke out a smile before glancing over at Ulfric and Tullius. "Well, I can see that the negotiations are already underway. What are the terms of the Treaty?"

Tullius cleared his throat. "I have gained Ulfric's Talos and a Hans the Hardy. But I have given up Jarl Elisif and Markarth. But I got a Barry Bonds…that counts for a lot in the long run."

Elenwen glanced between him and Ulfric. "What? Who…or what is a Hans the Hardy? Or this Barry Bonds…he sounds interesting. The Dominion should control a powerhouse like her."

"Him. But… I get you. Everyone thinks he's a girl. He is an Altmer after all." Ulfric responded. He glanced at me and arched his eyebrows. "Dragonborn…must we speak to this snake? I feel like I should be dipping myself in acid to cleanse myself from her gaze…"

Elenwen smiled and even chuckled at his remark. "I would not feel offended if you did. If you must bathe in acid…I have just the tank for you. You remember it…right? The same tub I broke you in when you told me about the Imperial City's weakness. You know that weakness…the one we used to take the city with and force the Emperor to surrender? Oh what a fun day that was." She let Ulfric settle back into his seat before she glanced over at Esbern. "Oh…oh…this is great. I thought you were dead."

Esbern tried to hide his face behind his hand. "I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, his voice forced into a deeper tone. "My name is…Andy. Andy Watchmaker. I'm a maid."

"Ah-huh." She only nodded before glancing at Anyanava. Then her eyes focused in sharply. "What on Nirn are you?"

Anyanava snapped her head away and turned her nose up. "You're mean. I will not give you the information you have requested to know until you apologize to my friends."

Elenwen looked furious in her usual method of smirking and then looking over at me, her eye twitching ever so slightly. "Well, Dragonborn. I can see that you have successfully started up a war meeting that does not have the Dominion's best interest in mind."

"I do say…Mother. Have you not noticed me sitting here this whole time?" Fiirnar said as he stood up from his chair, brushing his long black leather overcoat tails back as he strode up to her. "I have been representing the Aldmeri Dominion and its best interests for this War Conference. And I assure you that everything that has transpired here will not affect the Dominion in any way. We are merely looking for a way to stop the dragon attacks and to elect a new High King. Surely this will not upset our Dominion over Tamriel?"

Elenwen glanced at Fiirnar. "You're the youngest son…right? It's so hard to tell you all apart." She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Either way, your voice carries no weight. You are the black sheep of our family, dear son. And you have proven to have no consideration of the Dominion or her best interests. Your father wishes for you to come back to the Imperial City to receive your new assignment…Black Marsh. There are some very poisonous plants that need excessive testing. Mostly by poking them with your arteries. Now go…"

Fiirnar looked at his mother like he had never seen this side of her. "But…Mother…"

"Your father knows about you and that seer girl. He is most displeased…as are we all. You have failed us. Now go do your duty to the Dominion and go test those plants." Elenwen said as she turned around. "As for the rest of you…I will report this meeting to Councilor Fiirnar. He will decide how to react to this sudden uprising. It may call for a purge…not sure." She started trotting out of the room, her heels clicking on the stone floor.

When she vanished through the doorway, Ulfric started to stand up. "Are we going to let her leave? We can kill her right here."

Tullius stood up, pushing Ulfric back down. "Killing her will result in something worse than a war conference. She has no evidence to send in, other than her own word."

I scoffed. "Since when to Thalmor need more than just their word? We should prepare for a war." I watched silently at the doorway to see if she would come bursting back in with her Thalmor soldiers. She had to have come with an escort. I looked at both Ulfric and Tullius. There was no way we'd be ready for a war. Actually, having all the friends I had…we might stand a chance if we united again, like we did against the vampire attacks. But…we were a small nation going up against several giant nations. We had some great fighters, but I've been around. I know there are people and groups stronger than bards or bakers. Ever hear of designers? Now…they're evil, and so are their models.

I looked back at Ulfric and Tullius. "Ok, so we're going to war. Who wants to start?"

Ulfric started shuffling his deck. "I believe that it is only fair that I go first." He stood up and walked to the doorway. He stuck his head out and screamed. "Hey, little miss tuffet! Get your butt back up here! I challenge you…to a duel.."

Tullius smiled as he started shuffling his deck. "I call winner."

"And I will be the referee and score keeper." I replied. While Elenwen may be a cold-hearted woman, she was still supposed to be a part of this war conference. That meant taking part in every activity, including card duels.

Elenwen marched back into the room, blushing madly. "What is a tuffet?"

"Something you get from overeating at a buffet." Ulfric replied, rhyming buffet with tuffet. "I'll let you in on a secret…it reminds me of an ugly pony." He walked up to the table and pulled out his trading cards. "Rules are simple: we each get 9,000 life points and we use our cards to battle each other. Any questions?"

"What happens if I win?" Elenwen responded, crossing her arms.

"I will…hell…I don't know…I'll kiss you." Ulfric said.

Elenwen's eyebrows shot up. "Ok…I'm listening. But, how about we raise the stakes. If I win…the Dragonborn gets to kiss me."

Fiirnar covered his ears. "Oh…Mother…" He rushed out of the room. "I'm not listening."

"Nobody cares!" She cried after him. She turned to look at me. "And if I lose?"

I shrugged. "You…don't report anything bad back to the Aldmeri Dominion."

She smiled. "Deal. Let us begin…gentlemen."

* * *

_**Cearbhail: **Man...that Elenwen really wants some of the Dragonborn's meat...I mean lips. Yes, lips are what I meant. Anyway, we won't find out who wins or loses because this is the only chapter in Asger's POV. Now we go back to Lydia again. K, night._


End file.
